I never ever get lonely even when I am alone. A lot of the time it's the opposite and people just get in my way. Being alone is like a paradise with no issues to do with at all!
Same! I'm always getting asked (by women) the cliche questions why I never married, don't have children, aren't I worried about being alone later in life, etc etc etc. I'm like, freedom is one powerful drug!😊
i have a buddy in the philippines who gave me some wise advice, always keep 100 peso note in your pocket and when relatives or friends ask for thousands to "borrow" (yeah right) he pulls out the rattiest 100 peso note he has and offers that and says " i only have 100 , but its yours if you want" he says it works like a charm . they almost always say no thank you
I simply tell everyone when I am over in a foreign country that I can barely afford to travel and have to stick to a tight budget. That includes expats as well as everyone else and I live a lifestyle just like a person would who has limited funds while travelling. I have no problem doing this because I am cheap anyways. If you tell this to people often enough they will tell everyone else for you and most people will leave you alone because they assume you have no money.
I have PTSD and the best thing thats helped me is walking and nature hikes. I try to avoid most expats cause i have serious trust issues and its better that i avoid them as i know most are out for themselves and want to try to do things to other expats and I am still young enough to be that mother fucker that ive always been. My Filipina has managed to keep me calm and out of trouble for 2yrs now. I came here to get away from the stupidity in America and i go to great links to avoid problems. I just want to be left to myself and not bothered by the other expats. If i talk to you then you obviously earned my trust.
Ive never been a social butterfly. I think my biggest strength is being comfortable in my own skin. I dont need people to validate my existence. Im also very picky with people i have within my inner circle. If we can't be friends and or a significant other and enhance each other's life. Then i dont want nothing to do with that person. Just saying
I've had some friends and family say I'm weak when it comes to my wife. I do everything I can to make my wife happy. Why because she does everything she can to make my life stress free and peaceful. She manages our life and I wouldn't have it any other way. Good video Steve.
As to making friends here, esoecially expat friends, i tend to not indulge. I moved over 7,000 miles away from all that kind of baggage. There are some decent people here but have found so many that have some real issues. Ive had many filipinos near me asking for loans and other weird things and my answer is No. Ive also helped some with some painting, fixing a fence, etc. Best advice financially is to say no straight from the begining.
Very valid points and excellent suggestions all. As a former NY’er I especially appreciate your frank language when called for (ex: “ball-busting”)! LOL
Work is different it's called customer service, you go the extra mile for your customers, he's talking about how you interact out in public with your friends and family work is different
If they want a loan, tell them you want the original certificate of title to their home, a certified copy from register of deeds to make up against and a traceback with them to sign a mortgage contract. Plus no money until the mortgage is first annotated with Register of Deeds.
Everything you said is true. But people like me with empathy is so hard to live. Because I see ,and I feel people feelings. I always help people. But in the end I do it too much., end up very tired.
@@WAdelstein Man for every broke destitute expat, there are 100 hundred HOMELESS Filipinos and then another 10000 in poverty. Is it an IQ issue or something? Not sure.
OMG I always tell my daugher that. Said yes all the time it’s sign of weakness. And people definitely take advantage, she it’s learning , me I like to said no lol…people confused being nice for take advantage. About the gift I completely agree. Only too people really mean something for you 🎉
The world is made up of 2 kinds of people. Givers and Takers. Takers cling to the givers out of the natural order of things. Know what kind of person you are and if you are a "Giver" protect yourself. I had to cut a lot of "Takers" out of my life.
Long term expats adopt philippino mentality and they start thinking in terms: " oh that looks weak" "save your face don't apologize", "don't help let them sink and then come celebrate" - crab mentality. "Don't care and don't do anything" "beggar the neighbor" etc. So be aware about them folks going philipoino style 😂😂😂.
How about if you just stay with your Phillipina and her family. The Phillipines has what 50 million people plus? To stay to yourself and have your own connections with Phillipines people and business contacts in the US , why would you need to even deal with other expats.Especially if you don't have a youtube.Alot of people maybe semi retired and be busy with stuff in the USA or Europe, business connections etc;,
Hey Steve - what is the closest immigration office to you & how often do you have to go for the travel visa ? I know you have the SSRV but others around there surely just use the travel visa ? Perhaps you did for a while before the SSRV ? > Thanks & have a great day !
i dont see how this has anything to do with being an expat or anything like that, these are just good rules that apply to anything and everything in life across the board
i just didnt see how any of what you said had anything specific to do with the "expat" experience, all those things are true in all of life across cultures, ages, nationalities etc @@MrSteven5975
I don't understand this whole Expat "Communal" Group (need or want) thing .. I "need" to communicate & socialize here & there, to keep from going crazy, but .. This sounds like a bunch of "very immature" Jr High School BS (jez) .. People that never grew-up ? .. I find it "weird: (sick) for 60 + yr old's (?) .. My father gave me this advice, in HS ..
Most of the expats are in Cebu and i stay away from Cebu. My Filipina set the boundaries with her family from day one. Thank god i got involved with a Filipina whos family has their own money and dont try to look at me as an atm. The one person that will always be with us is her mama. I have a great relationship with her and ive told her no matter where we move to she will always have a home with us. I'd say its a very blessed life here if you are smart and keep yourself out of drama and other sins of the flesh lol😂😂😂. If you're here just to sex up one of these girls you're going to find troubles you never expected and could end up in a filipino jail and you dont want to be there.
good vlog. things you said in the vlog describes the main reason i wont permanently move to the Philippines. i dont want to go to a foriegn country and hang out with expats from the US. quite frankly those are the people i dont want to be with. especially the hard ass miltary type dudes. i dont want to listen to their crap. i want to spend time with Filipino people. but are they interested in spending time with American expats? im interested in knowing this. i dont want to hang out at bars and coffee houses with expat groups. i can do that boring crap here in Michigan USA😂
Thanks for the information, Steve . People have different personalities, and this has been developed over years of being in the environment that they were in . Having your own private space is important, and that includes family. I've heard that it is recommended to have a couple of islands between you and your girlfriends family. I think living outside of convenience range is probably best, especially if her parents are elderly and if she is very close to them emotionally. Yes, you can comply yourself with the poor house, so having a budget is important and sticking to it. If your girlfriend isn't working outside of the house, then an allowance should be given that she can do with as she will. Just let her know that your wallet is closed beyond that. Usually, a couple hundred dollars a month is plenty, especially if you are paying all the household bills and such which you would be doing regardless. I agree that you should be cautious about adding other foreigners into the mix and especially allowing them into your personal space. Remember, any time you spend with them is time spent away from your home and girlfriend, and she may not appreciate that. In many cases, they may not let you too far out of their site for obvious reasons. Trying to find a healthy balance in life will depend on you and your lifestyle. Remember that you are there for a change and a fresh start, so leave as much of that baggage back home.
It's really sad you have to indirectly threaten people to behave decently towards you so often and constantly demonstrate to them that you know alot and been through many experiences . Then they will be less likely to try to take advantage of you . What a strange society ?
@@Midwest10 all the big dudes I have asked have not had many or any problems . I am not big enough apparently so I get a lot of sketchy situations just trying to exist
IF YOU SAY YES TO EVERYTHING NO! MEANS NOTHING. I SUGGEST PEOPLE DO SOME REAL INTERNAL WORK ON THEMSELVES,AND NOT JUST WORD GYMNASTICS..SELF HONESTY,SELF ACCEPTANCE,SELF FORGIVNESS..START THERE..RUNNING OFF AT THE MOUTH CHANGES NOTHING MAKE SOME MODIFIED BEHAVIORAL CHANGES .. FORGIVNESS GET WITH IT.
Steve, my dude. I'm 49 and have been in PH for 7 years full time. Watching your videos actually feel like you're describing more problems than actually exist here. Sorry, but you're just doing it for content. Remember, I'm the guy married to a Filipina and we have 2 businesses, own our own house. So some times my dude, your information is misleading.
@@MrSteven5975 the key take away is that I love your vids. I love tuning into your channel. I just don't agree with it all, and I've been here for nearly 10 years. I know some stuff about the PH. I appreciate what you do it's a good thing. Big luv.
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I never ever get lonely even when I am alone. A lot of the time it's the opposite and people just get in my way. Being alone is like a paradise with no issues to do with at all!
Same! I'm always getting asked (by women) the cliche questions why I never married, don't have children, aren't I worried about being alone later in life, etc etc etc. I'm like, freedom is one powerful drug!😊
i have a buddy in the philippines who gave me some wise advice, always keep 100 peso note in your pocket and when relatives or friends ask for thousands to "borrow" (yeah right) he pulls out the rattiest 100 peso note he has and offers that and says " i only have 100 , but its yours if you want" he says it works like a charm . they almost always say no thank you
This is good! It ends the conversation too
Good idea
I simply tell everyone when I am over in a foreign country that I can barely afford to travel and have to stick to a tight budget. That includes expats as well as everyone else and I live a lifestyle just like a person would who has limited funds while travelling. I have no problem doing this because I am cheap anyways. If you tell this to people often enough they will tell everyone else for you and most people will leave you alone because they assume you have no money.
Until they come back 9 more times like a freaking layaway. lol!
I have PTSD and the best thing thats helped me is walking and nature hikes. I try to avoid most expats cause i have serious trust issues and its better that i avoid them as i know most are out for themselves and want to try to do things to other expats and I am still young enough to be that mother fucker that ive always been. My Filipina has managed to keep me calm and out of trouble for 2yrs now. I came here to get away from the stupidity in America and i go to great links to avoid problems. I just want to be left to myself and not bothered by the other expats. If i talk to you then you obviously earned my trust.
exactly,,,i avoid all expats, too many of them talk about politics or some other crap from the USA
If something is unacceptable to you, the answer is “No!”.
Ive never been a social butterfly. I think my biggest strength is being comfortable in my own skin. I dont need people to validate my existence. Im also very picky with people i have within my inner circle. If we can't be friends and or a significant other and enhance each other's life. Then i dont want nothing to do with that person. Just saying
We are brothers in that. I can take people or leave them, and try not to impose or be a burden.
I've had some friends and family say I'm weak when it comes to my wife.
I do everything I can to make my wife happy.
Why because she does everything she can to make my life stress free and peaceful.
She manages our life and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Good video Steve.
Great if it's a mutual thing!
Your doomed
@@alanforrester6900 your right doomed to live a stress free peaceful life with a wife who loves me and always puts my happiness before her own.
As to making friends here, esoecially expat friends, i tend to not indulge. I moved over 7,000 miles away from all that kind of baggage. There are some decent people here but have found so many that have some real issues. Ive had many filipinos near me asking for loans and other weird things and my answer is No. Ive also helped some with some painting, fixing a fence, etc. Best advice financially is to say no straight from the begining.
A great topic, Steve. Boundaries are like fences. Just like the old phrase: “Good Fences Make Good Neighbors.”
One thing being ex military can really help with is how slow things can be done in the Philippines. Just remember your days of "hurry up and wait"!
I am blessed not to be around expats only see at malls.where I live in manila none around
"Ex military'" I hear non military call us that; how bout' "Veteran" ..
have heard both ways used and it doesn't matter @@enzos711
@@enzos711 I'm a veteran and I refer to myself as ex-military.
The use of the word veteran is not limited to just ex-military.
Great points. Excellent conversation for all of us
1thing ive learned is be friendly NOT stupid!
Yes indeed Steve I agree 100percent. I always put my boundaries first
WoW I'm a huge people pleaser Steve thank you so much.Im going to take heed to this.This video really helped me out.
Great job. Great information.
You made a timely point in the video: kindness unfortunately falls into the category of the more of something there is the less valuable it becomes.
Hi Steve, very smart words. Thank you for sharing.
Very good advice 👍 @The Philippines Info Channel
This is a great video with lots of good information that can be applied in a variety of settings. Enjoying your content.
Thanks
You can not buy friends. I am good at saying no and keeping my wallet shut.
Absolutely
Very good advice. I have steps and go by my steps to complet my objective all is no till I have completed them then a maybe. No promises I always say.
Good one.
Very valid points and excellent suggestions all.
As a former NY’er I especially appreciate your frank language when called for (ex: “ball-busting”)! LOL
Lol
I’m only just nice enough to people so they don’t fire me at work
Work is different it's called customer service, you go the extra mile for your customers, he's talking about how you interact out in public with your friends and family work is different
Nice vlog, common sense things that are forgotten often.
Absolutely
I have a dog take him everywhere always glad to see me . Mans best friend keep people at a distance.
Good Video Steve 😊. Don't be a YES Man. Boundaries are a Must. Learn the word No.
Keep the video's comin.
Stay Safe 💕 💞 🙏 🙏.
Always
Good advice
Great video.
Thanks!
If they want a loan, tell them you want the original certificate of title to their home, a certified copy from register of deeds to make up against and a traceback with them to sign a mortgage contract. Plus no money until the mortgage is first annotated with Register of Deeds.
Being too nice isn't that common 😂. Being a victim and a martyr is common.
Chose your friends well.Takes two to rumble!
Yep yep.... I agree and also would add be more choosy with a significant other if you choose to have one.
Groups can be wrong too. 💯
Everything you said is true. But people like me with empathy is so hard to live. Because I see ,and I feel people feelings. I always help people. But in the end I do it too much., end up very tired.
The help people need is too much. Talking about broke expats. I’m like you. Hard to say no. Hard not to volunteer help to hard situations.
@@WAdelstein Man for every broke destitute expat, there are 100 hundred HOMELESS Filipinos and then another 10000 in poverty. Is it an IQ issue or something? Not sure.
@@WAdelstein It's fairly easy to deal with broke expats, they need to get back home. Simple as that.
@@EB-jf5oi In PI it’s a vow of poverty Jessuitnomics. The broke expats I meet are intelligent just self destructive. The place is like quick sand.
OMG I always tell my daugher that. Said yes all the time it’s sign of weakness. And people definitely take advantage, she it’s learning , me I like to said no lol…people confused being nice for take advantage. About the gift I completely agree. Only too people really mean something for you 🎉
Exactly!!
Good video mate
Thanks 👍
@@MrSteven5975 ok keeping people happy is like pissing in the wind sorry I’m English
The world is made up of 2 kinds of people. Givers and Takers.
Takers cling to the givers out of the natural order of things. Know what kind of person you are and if you are a "Giver" protect yourself. I had to cut a lot of "Takers" out of my life.
No way, that "black or white" .. Most are a combo, but Def to varying degrees ..
Long term expats adopt philippino mentality and they start thinking in terms:
" oh that looks weak"
"save your face don't apologize",
"don't help let them sink and then come celebrate" - crab mentality.
"Don't care and don't do anything"
"beggar the neighbor" etc.
So be aware about them folks going philipoino style 😂😂😂.
Hey Steve ! you make a great counselor ....LOL
Lol
Give me a call sometime
@@MrSteven5975 I will........ take care !!!
Check💯
You have to choose your friends and know who is sincere or plastic.
I agree… we all need to be more selfish. It’s our god-given right! 😜
First word you should learn here is NO
That's right 👍
How about if you just stay with your Phillipina and her family.
The Phillipines has what 50 million people plus? To stay to yourself and have your own connections with Phillipines people and business contacts in the US , why would you need to even deal with other expats.Especially if you don't have a youtube.Alot of people maybe semi retired and be busy with stuff in the USA or Europe, business connections etc;,
Hey Steve - what is the closest immigration office to you & how often do you have to go for the travel visa ? I know you have the SSRV but others around there surely just use the travel visa ? Perhaps you did for a while before the SSRV ? > Thanks & have a great day !
Dasmarinas is the closest
💯
Just say no.....if it feels good. Think twice
i dont see how this has anything to do with being an expat or anything like that, these are just good rules that apply to anything and everything in life across the board
Many expats here can be troubled
i just didnt see how any of what you said had anything specific to do with the "expat" experience, all those things are true in all of life across cultures, ages, nationalities etc @@MrSteven5975
Hello Steven
Hello !!! How are you doing ?
I don't understand this whole Expat "Communal" Group (need or want) thing .. I "need" to communicate & socialize here & there, to keep from going crazy, but .. This sounds like a bunch of "very immature" Jr High School BS (jez) .. People that never grew-up ? .. I find it "weird: (sick) for 60 + yr old's (?) .. My father gave me this advice, in HS ..
It seems the expat heavy areas are very clique-ish. No thanks.
"Cliques" exactly @@jerrywilliams408
Most of the expats are in Cebu and i stay away from Cebu. My Filipina set the boundaries with her family from day one. Thank god i got involved with a Filipina whos family has their own money and dont try to look at me as an atm. The one person that will always be with us is her mama. I have a great relationship with her and ive told her no matter where we move to she will always have a home with us. I'd say its a very blessed life here if you are smart and keep yourself out of drama and other sins of the flesh lol😂😂😂. If you're here just to sex up one of these girls you're going to find troubles you never expected and could end up in a filipino jail and you dont want to be there.
good vlog. things you said in the vlog describes the main reason i wont permanently move to the Philippines. i dont want to go to a foriegn country and hang out with expats from the US. quite frankly those are the people i dont want to be with. especially the hard ass miltary type dudes. i dont want to listen to their crap. i want to spend time with Filipino people. but are they interested in spending time with American expats? im interested in knowing this. i dont want to hang out at bars and coffee houses with expat groups. i can do that boring crap here in Michigan USA😂
Thanks for the information, Steve . People have different personalities, and this has been developed over years of being in the environment that they were in . Having your own private space is important, and that includes family. I've heard that it is recommended to have a couple of islands between you and your girlfriends family. I think living outside of convenience range is probably best, especially if her parents are elderly and if she is very close to them emotionally. Yes, you can comply yourself with the poor house, so having a budget is important and sticking to it. If your girlfriend isn't working outside of the house, then an allowance should be given that she can do with as she will. Just let her know that your wallet is closed beyond that. Usually, a couple hundred dollars a month is plenty, especially if you are paying all the household bills and such which you would be doing regardless. I agree that you should be cautious about adding other foreigners into the mix and especially allowing them into your personal space. Remember, any time you spend with them is time spent away from your home and girlfriend, and she may not appreciate that. In many cases, they may not let you too far out of their site for obvious reasons. Trying to find a healthy balance in life will depend on you and your lifestyle. Remember that you are there for a change and a fresh start, so leave as much of that baggage back home.
The biggest myth is that everybody has good in them, not true and love and understanding will change or improve nothing
It's really sad you have to indirectly threaten people to behave decently towards you so often and constantly demonstrate to them that you know alot and been through many experiences . Then they will be less likely to try to take advantage of you . What a strange society ?
@@Midwest10 all the big dudes I have asked have not had many or any problems . I am not big enough apparently so I get a lot of sketchy situations just trying to exist
Just be true to yourself
I avoid arguments simply be quiet
The one person noticed is the quiet one and csn be the most dangerous. Just saying
IF YOU SAY YES TO EVERYTHING NO! MEANS NOTHING. I SUGGEST PEOPLE DO SOME REAL INTERNAL WORK ON THEMSELVES,AND NOT JUST WORD GYMNASTICS..SELF HONESTY,SELF ACCEPTANCE,SELF FORGIVNESS..START THERE..RUNNING OFF AT THE MOUTH CHANGES NOTHING MAKE SOME MODIFIED BEHAVIORAL CHANGES .. FORGIVNESS GET WITH IT.
just avoid other expats thats what i do
Absolutely
Why come here and engage with the same people?
I came back here to be with my girlfriend and her family and friends
Not expats
What about the ones who claim to be traveling without an ATM card and they want to use yours ? Are they trustworthy ? 😂
@@M.R.T.V.VideosDefinitely! 😉
Haha yes because expats are the ones who will be the problem! Do you even know where you are my guy? Are you even awake?
Hey, can you buy me a beer?
Steve, my dude. I'm 49 and have been in PH for 7 years full time. Watching your videos actually feel like you're describing more problems than actually exist here. Sorry, but you're just doing it for content. Remember, I'm the guy married to a Filipina and we have 2 businesses, own our own house. So some times my dude, your information is misleading.
In my area we have many expat issues
This video is not saying all expats or Filipinas are bad but how to handle them by changing habits
@@MrSteven5975 the key take away is that I love your vids. I love tuning into your channel. I just don't agree with it all, and I've been here for nearly 10 years. I know some stuff about the PH. I appreciate what you do it's a good thing. Big luv.
You do not know what is up over here. I am here and this crap is true. Come live with the poor and open your eyes.
Ok why don’t we
Find jobs for the local people .