Best HFY Reddit Stories: A Brief Update to the University Rules (r/HFY)
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- Wonder what could have caused this list to be made...
Narrated with permission from original author u/Quasar_Ironfist
Original Post: / a_brief_update_to_the_...
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You have got to start reading "They are Smol" by TinyPrancingHorse
Catalan students might have a problem with number 55, it's just in our genetic code.
Fak u nerdlinger
But seriously have my child
They a way to liberal with antimatter in that uni
@@silvertrimhill9844 Or not liberal *enough*
This is The Things Dr Bright Is Not Allowed To Do At The Foundation, but for humanity and I love it.
EYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Well he IS a human as well, so...
They did bring up the Ethics Board again .
@@sanguiniusonvacation1803 and again, it is to be ignored
I only just realised your name is a 40k reference 2 days later, i feel dumb.
No chainsaw cannons
STABBY AND HIS BROTHERS MUST BE FREE!
More stabby
Release the baby
Don't forget to give them control of the fleet we made of every cargo hauler
Viva la stabylution!
Viva la STABBY
Can you imagine how many more entries they would have to add if a bunch of gamers joined the school and started randomly quoting Skyrim guards?
I can see an entire class screaming in terror when their human classmate turns to them and says, in a very serious voice, "Never should have come here!" With his human buddy imitating the battle music.
I ised to be an adventurer like you. But then I took an arrow in the knee.
on the other hand, when pirates board and the entire group of humans all spins on them and shout that line, it becomes possibly the most terrifying counter-boarding action in university history. Barring that one time someone managed to make a working recreation of Doomguy's equipment, but to be fair no-one has been able to beat that. Several teachers still have ptsd from that event
@@theacegamingdemon6983 "Gods", to this day, all pantheons avoid humans.
"Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter"
Panic & Confusion& Imagination &Creativity
The and i qot THE perfect combination.
Blood for the blood God, skulls for the skull throne, milk for the khorne flakes.
Ok angry marine
strawberry milk for the korne flakes, brain paste for the tooths brush
I've never heard milk for the khorne flakes
@@Salt_discriminater Same, using it now
BONES FOR MY BREAD!, TEARS FOR MY WATER!
“Yeet class tugboats”
I laugh but I can totally see future generations naming a ship class that.
either that or a Quantum bolista
I imagine a "yeet" tugboat as an industrial mech like a gundam.
@@gameroy9615 or a tug boat with tractor beams so powerful it can yeet a planet with just a hundred of them.
Short, simple, and excessively obvious to humans, p e r f e c t
Nah nah nah a Yeet class railguns ie I'ma fire an asteroid through a small moon
So how much longer is this going to go before the department heads realize that the rules are just encouraging them and inspiring creativity?
At most by the end of the school year earliest is a few weeks. Gotta let it get around to all human students.
Someone gonna use that device to create gooses and release them in the Uni's ground.
Im assuming thats what the no was
It actually comes up in Rule 55. The problem with Rule 55 is that you can't PROVE they broke Rule 55 unless they tell you.
They already realized but are acting that they do not. Thus using human what can I get away with habit for the greater good.
ANTIMATTER FIRECRACKERS
weren't cherry bombs well enough already?
I also absolutely love "mad scientist laughter" to be a requirement, this is just a gold mine.
If it works as a warning and fun, win win.
I wonder if the author has any idea how much boom is in a gram of antimatter. The speed of light in a vacuum is a multiplier, and its not that paltry .01% of mass reacts like the trinity test.
@@robertstoneking7916 Exactly. You could annihilate a city with half a gram lol
illegal in my country :(
Just imagine a fire cracker containing a GRAM of antimatter... The Tsar Bomba didn't even convert that mass into energy.
Introduce humans to any environment with other sentient creatures and a rule list like this is gonna be tame by comparison. (Mad scientist laughter)
thank you for obeying rule zeven your compliance is apriciated
I already thought of a few more rules to… make.
Rule 58: Do not attempt to summon demons for any purpose!
Rule 59: Do not hack the loud speakers to play any music, especially ones for “Riping and Tearing.”
@@Southern_Crusader
Rule 60: Do not attempt to destroy evidence of breaking Rule 58 with ballistic weapons.
Rule 61: Do not attempt to destroy evidence of breaking Rule 58.
Rule 62: Do not attempt to destroy evidence of breaking rules.
Rule 63: Do not destroy evidence of breaking rules.
@@samuelevans738 Rule 64 do no destroy evidence of any kind
Rule 65 do not start a cult to worship the old ones
Rule 66 do not start a cult to become an old one
Rule 67 do not start cults
@@samuelevans738 64: do not destroy evidence
58. Do not give the HFY stories sentience.
The last 8 are actually 60-67.
Wow that’s all of the rules. The humans there must be some of the more calm ones with extreme levels of self-discipline.
Ya I would have rebeled with clone or robot armie because it didn't say anything about that
Perhaps those are just the things the administration knows about.
Now we wait for them updating for day 2.
And there are no Russians among them.
They just got to a generic "NO!!" faster than some of the others.
I can't say "For The Emperor".....purge the planet of heretics
they didn't say you couldn't say "SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE." though
@@crayonchomper1180 rip slash and tear.
@@notlebronjamesco7850 KILL! MAIM! BURN!
FOR THE HOLLY TERRA!!!!!
@@notlebronjamesco7850 KAR EN TUK!!
Sometimes your content is a serious as putting down a child with cancer and type 2 diabetes,
And then we got Dr bright messing around in space. love it
"What rule are you responsible for the existence of?"
most humans: ALL OF THEM!
alien: But how?
humans: We got bored...
I can see this being a game... "so how many rules are you responsible for? I got 4 in my first month"
Not throwing mice ( or any other organism (I tried)) off the roof,
Not to create a portal of a black hole
Not being allowed to turn microwaves or other cooking utensils into warships or equiping them with any kind of point defence systems
This is hilarious. Reminds me of a DM who made a document called Compact Of The Gods which was a peace treaty between the Heavens & Hells but read like that. The time travel clauses took it even further.
68 no putting signs outside of campuse stateing "no fun allowed"
I like that you can tell there was a story behind each of these rules
i wonder if anyone took that idea and ran with it using these as story hooks
Certainly a few of the rules where a case of ok we can't do this, How about this then?
Whohoo, 10cm fire and ice breathing dragons swarms...
I love the fact that they request not to tell them why humans are ingered
Probably causes the medical staff more stress to know how it happened, because humans are great at creating insane scenarios
I literally had my own injury log book in primary school because of how I would have like 3 injury’s a day and I still do dumb stuff now for the hell of it or and I quote “it looked fun” so I honestly don’t blame them.
I see these less as “rules” and more as “loose guidelines”
💀
Tentative theories of guidance.
I had a Company Comander tell me...
_"Anything that makes you laugh, chuckle, giggle, or snort is expressly forbidden... Anything that makes you smile, smirk, or sigh requires permission from all parties involved and clearence from Command staff"._
This was later updated with... _"All requests must be done in-person and not through 'alternative means' of communication"._
This almost reads exactly like an eco list of things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do
Ah the scifi version of Skippy's list. These are always fun.
Do not scream "DO THEM ALL!! DO THE WHOLE FUCKING VILLAGE!!!" whenever we go out on patrol.
Lol, I can easily see myself in a position where up to 5 rules may could have happened due to something I would do. I can also see myself causing at least 3 more listings, that are not yet present, one of which would include mad laughter...
I wonder... does this make me a bad person, should be something I should seek a psychiatrist for, or is this the „normal madness“ of us humans? I honestly can‘t tell...
Hell I was looking for the loopholes while the list was going, as the saying goes "We're all a little bit mad down here."
It's called creative problem-solving. It's something humans are very good at.
As an Australian, I do have a problem with number 20 on this list. Historically, we stopped taking prisoners in the Boer War... They're just too much trouble in the long run!
galactic rules of war if someone surrenders you can't kill them
@@WardNightstone who said anything about them being dead there just missing a spine
@@seanwright6222 missing? quite sure i know where his spine is. in that aliens nose.
@seanwright6222 different type of nose beers
1 gram of antimatter is a *really REALLY* big boom
It’s more than the atomics dropped on Japan during WW2
@@spacetechempire510 By a wide margin.
Did you all miss the augmented to unheard of levels part?
@@spacetechempire510 Both of them combined - one gram of antimatter yields about 42kT.
Weaponised rule 34 XD. The kind of s*** that would give a New York cop PTSD.
Eye wole f***ing? Corpse mutalation fetish? Incest? Robot incest? Brother ai to human brother incest(one of the megamans), f***ing a cheetah,
What you have to be more specific
The back story for all of these rules would be really interesting to read. ^_^
I totally lost it on the cargo ship having enough weapons to be a Dreadnought lol Space Engineers fans made that rule and the YEET class tugboat as well
What about cloning the dead and they just happen to reanimate.. kinda like a zombie but _not_ a zombie?
What about LIVING undead, no mind, no soul, just a perfectly functional alive body, controlled by someone?
@@voidcore9323 Good question.. they definitely need to clarify or amend these rules!
COMMENTS FOR THE COMMENT GOD! FOR THE ALGORITHM!
I can see that all hell break loose
"do not built castles"
Dorn:I am comming there and I'm going to make that building a castle
What about blood for the hangged King?
That, was GLORIOUS!
"yeet class tugboats". Oh yeah, that is DEFINITELY going to be a thing one day.
Skulls for the skull throne
1 gram of antimatter could level a city block
I think it can do a lot more then that
1 gram of antimatter is a nuke bro, a big one too.
good way to turn a large planet into a small sun
They blew up a moon of course.
@@Mgl1206 That happens from time to time.
Rule 9 for the win
To be fair, the most important rule.
So I can't show my collection of [redacted due to rule 9 of the school council] to my flying pals? boo
Did number 44 in Dnd once... good times
Me: *Noticing the amount of loopholes found that required an extra rule to be added*
Also me: Everything after the "Do not edit this document" rule is pretty much invalid instantly since any new rule would require editing that document, even if its not modifying older rules.
The first three rules came about when "Oh, this isn't a firecracker, it's a fire*work*."
7:45 THE EMPEROR'S NAME STRIKES FEAR IN THE XENOS ONCE AGAIN! THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
STRIKE THEM DOWN WITH ALL OUR MIGHT
FOR THE EMPEROR!
*artillery sounds
We can't even modify predators to turn them into quasi-doggos? :(
They didn't say we can't modify prey to become predators
@@Nopenguin4875 yes
@@Nopenguin4875 I got bad news,worse news and worst news.which one you want to hear first
@@comradedima9791 bad new first
@@Nopenguin4875
bad news:most herbivore become carnivore include but not limited to:moose elephant,deer,goat,and boar
worse news: they somehow got smarter and now they got cybernetic enhancement
worst news: hivemind goosebot
"turn this assholes spine into powder and make his buddies snort it." My new favorite quote!
,,35. No outfitting every cargo ship that comes within the star system with enough weapons to classify it as a dreadnought." help i'm dying from laughter
20, 23, and 35 are the most intriguing rules
I like how some of these are very clearly "We implemented the previous rule, and they loopholed through it, so here's a more tight version"
This sounds more like 'humans are space trickster fae' and honestly, that is valid too.
If something makes you giggle for more than 10 (ten) seconds, you’re not allowed to do it.
I like 67, it's so clear and concise...
You mean 57?
3:07
O h m y g o d there is a story here and i want to make fanfiction about it
the music is perfect for this. just enhances the giggling.
1 gram of antimatter annihilated with 1 gram of matter may give a detonation roughly equivalent to 2.5 times Little Boy. Congratulations to the author!
57: No Xd
Iirc, there are additional rules to this list.
Rejected applications for species creation.
Kelpies
Shoggoths
Beholders
Green Dragons (i don't care how small it is, you are not going to create a poison breathing lizard)
Anything considered an "abberation" or a "monstrosity"
Anything from dungeons and dragons
Anything from dark souls (1, 2 or 3)
Anything from Demons souls
Anything from bloodborne
I'm going to dress up as a medieval knight and call for a crusade to reclaim the holy land during lunch hour.
58. No using orbital lasers to heat your coffee.
59. No using orbital lasers to make toast.
60. No using orbital lasers in ANY food preparation.
61. No using orbital lasers to cut hair.
62. No using orbital lasers to perform surgery.
63. NO using orbital lasers.
"Humans are not to modify predators, in general, to make them ore dangerous or terrifying". We spent thousands of years turning wolves into pugs and mountain lions into tabbys. We would not make them more terrifying, we would do everything in our power to make them more lap sized and cuddly!
We also created Tibetian Mastiffs, so it goes both ways. Roman War dogs were the size of Scottish Deerhounds and Irish Wolfhounds, but built like a well-bred Rottweiler. Scary stuff even for a human used to big dogs.
The hilarious part here is that for a large portion of these, I could see myself trying to work out the loopholes just because...
Humans are Dr.bright! X D
One gram of antimatter? E=mc^2. Do the math! And don't forget to double the mass because one gram of matter would also be converted to energy. That is an ungodly amount of energy.
"Mad scientist laughter is now required." 😆😆🤣😂😁
Narrator this is for you
1g of anti-matter reacting with 1g of matter at 100% efficiency would result in a 43 kiloton blast.
I love how so many of these rules are successive attempts to close loopholes!
1 gram of antimatter reacting with 1 gram of matter is about 25 kilotons of power... i.e a bit above the Hiroshima / Nagasaki atomic bomb range
58: Do not open wormholes on a planetary surface. Never mind. Just.. do not open wormholes at all, anywhere.
Gonna have to put this in the “solves my depression” playlist.
Omg self replicating swarm of sabbys
They didn't say we couldn't pod race down the school hallways...
Yet.
We just can’t keep out of trouble. XD
Rule 68. Do not use Klolthians as what you call “lassos.”
69. Do not attempt to trick, prank, set up, or any other reason for placing cayenne pepper in a non-human’s food. T’Klithian is STILL in the infirmary.
70. Do not attempt to place any capsaicin-containing substance in a non-human’s food.
71. Do not leave capsaicin containing substances over open heat.
72. Do not bring capsaicin containing substances onto university grounds without proper written permission from the head of the university.
73. Do NOT make any attempt to engage non-humans in what you call “drinking contests.” Three Sakarians have had to have their stomachs pumped and their esophagi nano repaired after consuming what a human called “151.”
Okay, okay. No more "blood for the blood god" or "For the Emperor". HERESY!!!
...one gram of antimatter is about a 45 kiloton explosion.
Behind every safety rule, there is a story.
I realy want to hear those storys!
I totally want to build a castle out of classmates Frozen in Time
Every human that reads that list: "challenge accepted"
They do not mention anything against fireworks based on dark matter or strange matter. They also do not prohibit creating portals, wormholes or time loops at the entrance to the toilets. There are no rules against freezing all the water in the air and making ice castles. With that said, it's time to get to work on my next projects. (mad scientist laugh).
Someone read that they couldn't put a crocodile in a toilet. And immediately put an alligator in the toilet
Makes me wonder what Farkardakan are. My guess is rabbit people.
or cat people
Or Space Raccoons.
1 gram? Wouldn’t that destroy a city?
Yep! :)
My dorm room is gonna need that extra sound proofing lol...
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
Rule 68. "Milk for the Khorne Flakes" sounds like Rule 67. If clarification can be brought to this one, this rule may be subject for removal.
1 gram of antimatter is in the kiloton to megaton range, depending on the efficiency of the reaction.
Npte to Self: do "mad scientist laughter" while doing entirely innocuous things and when asked what I doing reply with some variation of 'not breaking the rules', try to get that banned.
9 hit hit me like a sledgehammer to the gut
Im going to rewrite this as a list for magic school for my dnd games.
Alt. title: Alien Community College Regrets Admitting Space Orcs.
We're literally the Dr. Bright of the universe huh?
This was brilliant.
I absolutely lost it 🤣 I couldn't see or breath 🤣🤣🤣
"Mad Scientist Laughter" is required as an Early Warning System
Where is this campus I need to sign up, *NOW*
60. Every non-sapient creature must be kept under the length of 10 meters.
Ahhh yes humanities most deadliest weapon, R34
JUSTICE FOR THE STABBY HOARD!!!
THEY SHALL BE FREEEEEEE
An- antimatter firecrackers?
...I'm pretty sure that one gram of antimatter would be enough to destroy a city...