I heard it somewhere and I live by this rule: "Never let a man tell you he doesn't want you more than once". If I feel he doesn't or no longer wants me, this is an end for me. I completely remove myself from the situation, no matter how hard it might be for me.
No, you need to be clingy and stalk them as they do, and then when they know they will never get rid of you unless they die by your own hands, then you leave. Honestly, it's not that hard.
If a man wants to be with me and suddenly he pulls away, I will not reach him at all. Then he doesn’t contact me for 5 days, I assume he passed away. If he comes back, I will say “sorry, you are not worth my time” with smile and walk away. A lot of good guy in this world, I should give another guy the opportunity to approach me 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
Brilliant. Reminds me of something I like to ask myself here and there: “What’s the difference someone who’s dead and someone you used to know?” Nothing. If you decide to commit symbolic suicide, then I wish you luck on the other side.
If a man pulls - walk - for good. Let him learn what he lost. PERIOD. Tired of people putting up with games and trying to figure out people's nonsense. THAT'S HIGH VALUE
Agree, never chased a man..even with a garbage abuser who played GAMES 24 years, broke my back and almost my neck...wasted 24 years of my life cooking and cleaning, being a slave and being abused, these are Narcs that hide who they are till after your stuck, pray for help with Jeh God and he will help you....low value men DNT value what they have till you leave...
I've stopped chasing after people entirely. If I've clearly expressed my interest in them and they pull away, I don't even bother understanding why anymore. It might be their insecure attachment style, their past traumas, their unhealed wounds. It might be that they're just busy and overwhelmed and don't know how to make space for a relationship. Or they might be playing games. But ultimately, it's everyone's individual responsibility to communicate those things, and if they can't, it's not my job to intuit for them. I spent way too much time doing all the emotional labor in relationships only to get taken for granted. What Matthew said once was right on: "I understand you have your reasons but I have my reality- and what I'm interested in is my reality." If a man pulls away from me, I assume the connection is done with and stop investing. If they come back, I usually only entertain them as an acquaintance. Trust built takes work to bring back online- and for me, doing that work with someone that already disappeared once isn't worth it.
Date multiple people, sleep with none of them and only become exclusive with the one you're sure is worthy of marriage do not accept engagement ring unless wedding is within 6 month or tops a year. Most important pray always.
@@user-vx2xq3vi4ogood way to weed out the players. Men bond emotionally NOT through SEX! Date him postpone sex as long as possible and get to know him, you might find out he’s a murderer after a few months then you’ll be glad you didn’t give him your body (silly example but its possible). If he only wanted sex he’ll vanish after a few dates. So you save yourself time energy and your heart by waiting.
i got love bombed by a man recently, it was hell for a day i just cried non stop. a few days later i took myself out on a nice date, put on my sexiest dress, the same one i wore out on the date with him, treated myself to good food, gelato, bought myself flowers. and reminded myself, it's his loss, and that, i am golden. im 31 and im at an age where i dont want to settle for anything less than 100%. even 99% does not cut it
@@MB-xv7er No, young women get the most predators who seek inexperienced and controllable victims. I see it all the time, I lived it, etc. An attractive woman in her 30s or even 40s can still easily find high value men, but her body and personality both have to be attractive. Genetics, diet, sports and plastic surgery by good doctors help a lot.
@@Eric-ne3pn Single=ready for something good and content on one's own. The worst case scenario for anyone is being trapped in an unhappy, abusive marriage, with kids that act and look just like him/her...
Some of you are not understanding tip #5 and that's the most important. If a man comes back and you're still talking about something that happened weeks or months ago, it only shows him you still care and that he is of great value in your life because you're still stewing about his behavior. I've made this mistake and it took a few times before I realized the guy loved when I would be all righteous and indignant when he came back because he knew he still had control. Listen, indifference is the key. Being upset only means you're still hurt it's no different from love. When he sees you don't care and his actions didn't affect your life at All (even if they did u don't tell him), he will develop a different level of respect for you. A person always know what they did wrong, they don't need you to tell them!!!!! If they cared about hurting you they wouldn't have done it in the first place. Trust.
This is really good advice in terms of the underlying motives of people, which might be control through violence or control through trauma-bond or stuff like that. BUT I would say, if that is the case and there's no apology on his side and no awareness or care of the hurt that he's caused then definitely keep that person shut out of your life. You shouldn't just not talk about it in this case but really not be around people who are this level of control freaks and hurtful. Protect yourselves.
Totally true! Indifference will intrigue him..this is fool proof ladies. Maintain your looks during your time apart so that when you do see him again you're looking fresh and vibrant. This will also pique his curiosity.
1: don’t try to figure out why he is pulling away; accept it for what it is, do not resist, go with the flow, don’t do anything to try and get him back 2: remind yourself that you are a high value women, have unshakable self confidence about you your self worth, do not doubt yourself, remind yourself you are high value, you deserve one who will show up for you and want to be with you no one else 3: rebuild your feminine attraction, boost your self esteem and do what makes you feel good, force yourself to do things 4: go on other dates, you need to feel your value you will feel designed by other men 5: I’m shaky with #5, leave him alone
Go on dates to make you feel better about yourself? That’s male validation seeking, confident people don’t need validation from anyone they pursue their own goals.
@@vkrgfan dating is not seeking validation, dating is meeting new people that might share same interests as you and visit new places, try food you never tried before. Girls can have dates with other girls that are only friends
It starts with respecting yoursel. Then you ask yourself" Why would I want to be with somone who doesn't want to be with me" Initialy you may feel little down. You get over it, its a lesson. Life goes on. You are in charge and control of yourself.
Don't waste time on someone who doesn't know how to handle their feelings due to immaturity. They are not completely grown or developed. It's not for you to fix.
Keep respecting yourselves , men have you on a roaster . When one bitch dosen't put out he is at another bitch . Men cares of you if you put it out . Simple as that .
@@irinasp3723 the nature of a traditonal, masculine man is to lead, court, pursue and hunt... they enjoy that role. That's why they love to compete, win and play games. They like to earn and give.
I dated a man for 2.5 years, we brokeup because of some reasons, I started working on myself, 1month no contact, suddenly when I was doing good by myself, he appears and tell me he isn’t doing good without me. I was a fool to give in to my emotions and reach out to help him only to know later that he was already dating another girl, didn’t even bother to let me know when he exactly knew how emotional of a person I am and still chose to lie to my face, telling me he loved me, calling me and trying to get back etc etc. Now I'm at my worst and he doesn't care and he never will. I really hope he gets all these back, I helped and this is what I got. It's embarrassing but please pray for me I am not okay, I'm trying my best to be okay every single day but God knows it tiring.
I pray for you and I hope you learned a valuable lesson here that when you are doing well and some ex comes back, ask yourself what are his motives. Rarely do they come back for a good reason. Don't give them any ego boost, don't help them, don't do anything like that until they prove themselves again.
See at the hindsight...you helped him twice...you are more of a giver...he didnot respect that...its his way of pathetic mindset ...But deep down he will be consumed by guilt someday..that some day may not be today...but on that someday you will be completely moved on...his guilt will not affect you as you will view him as an any other ordinary person. It takes time...but we all move on...remember good things happen with good people...but till then focus again on the things that improve you more...and have a rule of 3: to tolerate any misbehaviour, ignorance of anbody( let it be boyfriend, friend, relative anyone) to three times in life...after that treat them like any ordinary person...But be soft with behaviour and reject softly...This rule will save you. I wish you heal soon and help others in healing with your positivity...Kindness is powerfull...stay blessed From India
If he pulls away, you soar away. Be grateful for the meeting, say thanks to it, fold it and put it away. Redirect that energy to achieving your own personal success such as getting a new promotion, killing that presentation, finally saying hi to that cute co-worker, go on dates to improve your social skills, attend that concert etc. So if he ever texts you, remain upbeat n just say "oh hey, I'm doing great. Just had [insert success here]" and leave it like that. IF he wants to reconnect with you, remain ambiguous and say 'Not sure about that, I have (future plans e.g a date) coming up! 😊". No questions, no suggestions. Remain upbeat and busy and he'll realise he is no longer a priority. You're welcome 😊
I would add that if a man is not respectful in the beginning, he never will be. Take him as he is. It's not only about him not being a priority, it is that if you can date him again, that means that you have tolerance for manipulation and you are an ideal victim for manipulation. And he will not stop being manipulative in the relationship in this or that way if you stay with him. Ghosting someone is a huge red flag. It's about pulling your emotional strings, weakling your self-esteem and controling your heart, mind and behaviour. These are dangerous things in a relationship. Many of such men are narcissists.
If he gets distant, he can stay distant in my opinion. Just means he's juggling other women. If things don't work out with them, he bounces back to you. Hell no!! Stay the hell away!!
@@mizzanbarasi9103 true and to be honest more women do this than men and the reason is simple its way easier for women to meet guys via social or apps. in the other hand men have to be handsome to use those options as effectively as women do
I must say, if the guy pulls away, usually there is another woman in the picture, with or without you knowing. At least that’s what happened to me all the time.
@@christyg487 I just have to let him go, and hope that he would regret for it later... I don't want to fight with the other woman, it's too exhausting...
@@yolenda_loves_to_sing yesss! I also did this. At the end of the day the way I think about it is if you came into that connection with nothing but pure intentions and honesty and he lied etc throughout…karma will come and you can walk away with your head held high knowing you were honest and true x
I've stopped chasing after people entirely. If I've clearly expressed my interest in them and they pull away, I don't even bother understanding why anymore. It might be their insecure attachment style, their past traumas, their unhealed wounds. It might be that they're just busy and overwhelmed and don't know how to make space for a relationship. Or they might be playing games. But ultimately, it's everyone's individual responsibility to communicate those things, and if they can't, it's not my job to intuit for them. I spent way too much time doing all the emotional labor in relationships only to get taken for granted. What Matthew said once was right on: "I understand you have your reasons but I have my reality- and what I'm interested in is my reality." If a man pulls away from me, I assume the connection is done with and stop investing. If they come back, I usually only entertain them as an acquaintance. Trust built takes work to bring back online- and for me, doing that work with someone that already disappeared once isn't worth it.
1. Don't try to figure out why it happened 2. Remind your self that you are high value 3. Rebuild your feminine attraction 4. Go on other dates 5. If you want to get in touch, do this. Just once!
@@looser4755 If you want him but you regret wanting him, just realize that it's only chemistry in your head and that it will pass. Also, find a replacement for him something that you love.
The man you're describing is a man NOT interested in you. Let that fkr go. Block, delete, move on. No woman deserves to be treated that way. He's just not interested. Accept it, so you can be with a man who IS interested.
Sometimes he might be a bit intrested but hasnt seen your quality and value quiet yet, so you are not a priority to him. Thats when you set clear boundries, dont answer his calls and text. And when if hes still calls after a few days, just send him a clear and honest message about how his behaviour isnt appreciated and wish him well and say goodbye. But If the relationship was in a very early stage and hes really sorry for his behaviour you might consider giving him a second chance to prove himself, he might not really seen who the real you is and therefore doesnt value you highly. Also remember when giving him a new chance, just see him as an option. Sometimes we are too quick to judge. But if you been on a few dates or talked for a few weeks/months and he pulls away/ghost you, then you need to close that door for good. That man doesnt deserve another chance because he has seen your quality and doesnt value it.
I’ve dated 5 guys in my entire life. 3 were ones who were truly devoted and marriage material and never “pulled away” - in fact I was the one pulling away and they forgave me. The other two “pulled away” from me and caused me the biggest heartbreaks and both almost ruined my life. The next time a guy tries to pull away I already know he’s not the one. Delete him and move on.
@@sallylemon5835 the message is actually to focus on your own life and stop playing these games. you might pull the immature men but high quality men won't buy your games (they've seen it all) but on the bright side also won't play games with you once they decide to focus on you. :) i am quite happy and never played games with the 3 serious ones; i just didn't want to get married to focus on my career and other goals.
My boyfriend pulled away so I mirror his actions and he told me that I don’t care about him since I never cared to know how he is doing. That’s when I knew he is toxic
He is not toxic , you are toxic. Please just let him go so he will find a better woman and have kids with her and be happily ever after without you. He deserves so much better than you.
This is what even i thought. But i find it extremely difficult to detach after 10 years of relationship. its cutting into my heart and I am wavering between attaching and detaching from him
@@thesubtlebodies4220 wow why'd you let it get up to 10 yrs? You already made your brain comfortable with such treatment and made it ok for him to treat you as such so now your brain associates it as normal and will find it hard to detach oh well goodluck
@@missfefeloves No what i meant was , for 10 years he was fine, we were very close to each other. Now i can sense him changing a lot and it is difficult to detach now, beavuse of the love we shared for 10 years. im not able to attach or detach. that is my situation now
This is the trick to detach quickly. Don't initiate contact for atleast 2 weeks. If you do, then start afresh and start counting. With time you'll release that he is falling off the pedestal that you put him on. With time you'll go through the day without thinking of the clown. Thank me later.
if a man pulls away that is everything you need to know, the best thing to do is not care and take that as a sign of God protecting you. When he comes back do not respond, if I am bored sometimes I will respond to a few messages to show unbothered but no extra conversations no meeting up and after the 3rd message I never respond again. Unless he has an apology you feel is genuine (most men do not disappear on a woman they were serious about
In my opnion - its not about being comfortable with uncertainty, but knowing and valueing yourself enough to be comfortable with letting things go that dont serve you
good point. "being comfortable with uncertainty" leaves room for misinterpretation, as if it's ok and perfectly normal when you don't understand where someone stands with you. But it's not ok, people with good intentions won't leave you confused or send you mixed signals.
Ladies, if you're struggling with letting go of a man, feeling very attached to him and afraid of letting go, if the pressure of constantly keeping your "high value" is overwhelming you, this is for you. God loves you. The only way you can have "high value" is by letting Jesus Christ make you holy through His crucifixion. Instead of prioritising men and playing dangerous mind games, put GOD first and be WHOLE and COMPLETE in Him. If you don't know what to do, Jesus Christ will guide you along your uncertain journey and give you PEACE above your own understanding. God bless you and I pray that you turn to Him as your ultimate source of happiness. 🙏😇
The reason why he pulls away is because he is seeing another woman! So now you have to decide if you even want him back when it fizzles out with her and he comes crawling back to you.
I had a man who was very interested in me. He would come and go but each time he would contact me back after weeks I always answered him kindly as if I didn’t care. I always went on with my life. At the end that man proposed to me and ended up pouring his heart out to me. I never imagined his feelings for me were so deep. If a man pulls away it’s ok we don’t know what he’s going through and what’s Going on with his life. Just go on with your life and go with the flow.
@@corinthiafair8395 yes. We didn’t end up together but it showed me that I am lovable and what a man does when he has deep feelings. He could no longer hide it and expressed his love. I never expected anything from him I opened up emotionally to him and he got to know the real me.
I believe this whole heartedly♥️ space and detachment, forces a man to really think about what he could potentially be losing, I have a gentleman in my life I’ve known him for a year now, and each time he comes back, I’m the same, and I have no ill will towards him. Sometimes people are really trying to gauge whether or not they want you in their life and simultaneously you have to figure out if they will fit into yours🙏🏾
If you watch many of the male channels many of them teach men how to get a woman chasing after them by disappearing after courting heavily and romantically or dating you, this is why its happening to so many woman. Once the woman reaches out they feel the man then feels they are clear to date others and then they have you on a rotation because the persuing is over, most men wont admit this but they develop actual feelings for you while they are persuing you for long periods of time. By playing games and cutting the time of pursuit they can open their resources, time and availablity to persuing other women perpetuating nature in the desire to have multiple women and spreading the seed. Its not in any womans best interest to chase a man so I agree with this tho I wouldnt reach out, thats a trap they are waiting for and your worth in their eyes will plummet.
Thank you very much for posting this comment. I honestly had no idea that this level of game-playing was being taught to men. No wonder I suffered so much. He lovebombed me for two months then disappeared. It actually destroyed me for awhile, because I am of a different culture, very sheltered married life for 20 years, and completely naive in the dating arena. In my culture, we didn't play mind games.
OMG, thanks so much for this. I am going through this and I was so confused. This makes a lot of sense. It’s 4am in the morning and I was so stressed, now I just feel relieved! Moving on from this toxicity.
This video just appeared in the right time. I started talking to someone recently and he seemed interested at first and as soon as I started showing as much interest, he started to pull away. Bottom line most men suck, don't settle for less! :) Thank you so much for this video❤️
He is a man child dealing with his own issues. He just needs validation to save himself from his pathetic self that is why he pulled away when you showed interest. He is not even worth your glance sister.
The world is already too stressful so why play these useless games? They do it way to often is crazy. If only women would forget about them totally smh
Indifference comes easily and naturally when women learn how to truly love themselves first. It is incredibly powerful and will protect you from the manipulative behaviors of others in every area of your life.
*So crucial to have strategies to maintain our value, especially when a man pulls away. Let's all focus on self-growth and self-love, and attract partners who can match our value.*
A guy called me today we got into a bit of a riff bc I was ending our call as if I was speaking to someone I just met. He said it was being sarcastic but I let him know being I hadn’t heard from him regularly, I was responding in a pleasant non descriptive manner. He says you can call me. I said “sure, once I hear from you I’ll respond, just as I did today, bc I’m interested, but I won’t continuously reach out to you once I don’t get you. It’s a reset on my end when you’re not consistent.” This man starts telling me I should keep calling him bc we’re equal. Never told him I was his equal. In the end I had to flat out tell him I don’t pursue men, I engage with the right man. This is the 3rd time this summer. Men really intentionally pull back to get us to chase them as to believe it proves our interest. This is all before a date even. It’s really cringe.
I feel like you're speaking about my guy. He told me the same thing, that I can just call him whenever. But when I do call him, he never responds and doesn't call back
MY FELLOW WOMEN; WAKE UP; YOUR VALUE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM!!!!!! OMFG!!!! SMH THERE ARE TOO MANY MEN OUT HERE THAT FEED ON WOMENS PAIN AND SUFFERING. EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR LEGS TO A MAN, YOU RISK YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. ALWAYS BE READY TO LEAVE & BE AS INDEPENDENT AND PROTECTED AS POSSIBLE. FOLLOW YOUR HEART, UTILIZE INTUITION AND DISCERNMENT, BUT ALWAYS BE READY FOR MEN TO SWITCH OVER TIME. COMPASSION, CARE, RESPECT- THESE ARE EITHER THINGS THAT GROW OVER TIME OR FADE OVER TIME- & OFTEN THE FADE IS ON PURPOSE TO CAUSE WOMEN PAIN FOR MALE EGO. ALWAYS BE AWARE
Lol in this dating culture I will be surprised if anyone gets together and stays together. I hate these games. Was there ever a time where people simply communicated effectively? Some points were good though. When a man pulls away, focus on making yourself feel good. With taste of course.
This dating culture is really messed up...all this games. Stay honest and if you like someone make efforts to be with this person, if he / she likes you she will make steps too otherwise its a stupid game I am not looking to play anymore... womens pull away...man pull away...so nobody is getting together...lets be authentic and stop playing this games
totally agree. this all just perpetuates the cycle of dysfunction. i prefer to be raw, honest and human. we were born to feel ffs i find when im totally honest with guys they respect it. im not desperate but if i really like someone which is rare i will hunt them, like a lioness, cos thats what the fuck i am. id never contact them like everyday or even week, just a little bit over time. if they tell me they are not interested im fine. its when they refuse to be honest and manipulate and mixed signals i get pissed and i tell them so. what the hell is wrong with people they are so fkn scared to just be and feel what they are.
I’m starting from the inside and changing my diet and exercising. Looking after myself first. I deserve a wonderful man who is 100% into me, when the time is right.
A man who pulls away from you just because he can, without any concern towards your feelings should be dumped by you right then and there... because someone like that will never treat someone respectfully because of their own insecurities. Any place where you feel unsure or uncomfortable.. You shouldnt stay.. Because on a long term, it is difficult to always be high value whenever a guy pulls away from you without any consistency.. I suggest that you move to the next one.
Great advice. I expect more frequent communication from the man I'm dating like daily especially in the beginning of dating. When he didn't reach out for 2 days twice, I cut off dating him exclusively after the second time. Effort wasn't consistent and words didnt match actions. If a man can go two whole days without checking on me, hes not the one for me.
@@Manofvalue525 husband material makes daily consistent effort during dating... you shouldn't be slacking during courting. No effort equals no interest. That's how I weed out the players and toxic men.
Woman are free to do the choosing. Real men know this and understand this. If he pulls away. He is giving you space and allowing you to make the decision. These type of videos are turning woman in to men. Don’t listen to this junk. Don’t chase, don’t be needy as this woman in the video sounds to have been. However, she is giving terrible advice. Reach out to your man if you don’t hear from him if it’s just been for 5 days. Don’t get needy like this woman clearly has been. But don’t lose your femininity. Woman have the choice and real men know this and will give them space to decide. You all claim to be high value woman but all of you clearly like to associate with boys and not high value men.
@@basicinfo2022 being is more important than doing. Low value man doing many thing to impress girl, but the girl go for the high value man who just become who they are and never trying to impress girl
I've been like this for a long time, I even dealt a Narcissist 😊. I'm married now but when I sense my husband pulling away. I turn my energy into something I love. Ex pets, music, movie , make-up, yoga....the more you love and enjoy yourself..he will too❤️❤️🙏
It must be even more painful being married to someone who pulls away. 🤦🏽♀️considering how painful it is when someone you've met 6 days ago pulls away.
all men do this.....we can all smother each other no matter the gender. Men are designed this way.....hunting for days, wars or long Sea voyages, they often did not return or died. We are designed to cling for survival. It's a cruel test & if we can keep down the fort & remain unfathomed we are appreciated, longed for & cherished.💪
@@correanne5366 No, in today's time emotionally healthy, mature and functional men are not designed in that way. It's certain dysfunctional personalities that are designed in that way nowadays. Let's not normalize this behaviour. The society keeps creating such men by normalizing such behaviours, by treating and seeing men as eternal children or by enforcing the sexist narrative of men as being unemotional, tough, etc. We are not in the stone age anymore.
Lol, you are SOOO right. It took me two decades to realise a woman never should chase a man. If he is interested, good. If he is not, it's better not to be with him.
Step 5 is the most important. You should ask yourself the question: Do I want to be with someone that fulfills my needs on a consistent basis or irregularly, inconsistently? To have a healthy, secure relationship the latter always need to happen. So, step back, even though it hurts. Know that you are worth a man that gives you what you desire consistently without you needing to manipulate him to give you what you want. xxx
One of your best videos by far. Happy to report, even though completely smitten, I didn’t say anything further to a guy who started giving crumby responses after our last date. I was pretty crushed, and he still pops in my mind from time to time, but damn it feels good that I didn’t give in to the temptation to reach out. It’s been a pivotal experience for owning my worth and knowing I deserve THE best.
This lady is so right! I overcame my last breakup restoring my self esteem and realising I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me because I have everything to offer to him and deserve nothing less in return!
It all boils down to the old and well known ‘never make someone a priority when you’re only an Option.’ If you can’t even make yourself a priority in your life then how do you expect others to see you that way?
If a person pulls away let them go.They always come back out of curiosity in most cases.If a person wants you ,you will know it you won't have to guess. 😊
I reacted in every wrong way that you described. It’s been tough because he’s my husband and we’re still newlyweds. Never the less, it’s time I straighten my crown and seek an annulment as well. God help me.🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
You said your HUSBAND pulled away... is that normal for married couples to pull away ?? I mean, I'm young & learning...srry if it's a personal question
Yes me too it’s my husband and he is in the military. Now we’re in long distance relationship bc of deployments. He’s not texting me or calling me but watches all my stories but don’t text me. I don’t know what to think. Now I’m ignoring him too.
@@xannelichili8581 Same! My fiance & I are in a long dist. relationship cuz of deployments. He was ignoring at the start & I did too till I made him feel how cold I can be & ignored him... the man has to feel what it's like to lose his woman or else he won't learn to appreciate you
@@lynndais3783 yes this is what I’m trying to do. At first it wasn’t easy but I got to know my worth and my self respect. He always blame his work bla-bla-bla. I feel like he doesn’t respect me at all because I was so soft at first. But now I’m not scare of the result if he wanna go then fine. I need to be a little selfish and think about me.
We will heal. We will be fine. Our future will be much brighter than our present and our past. I will never understand why or what happened but I won’t waste another ounce of energy toward that…I’m sane so I’ll never understand insanity. I’m so grateful for what God has in store for me! I’m fighting for me! I’m worth it. He doesn’t see my value but his opinion doesn’t matter! Next…his loss!🙏🏽♥️
* Be comfortable with uncertainty. 1. Don't try to figure out why this is happening. 2. Remind yourself that you are a high value woman. 3. Rebuild your feminine attraction. 4. Go on other dates. 5. Get in touch only when you want to.
Many men have been traumatized in their childhood and throughout their adult life. This trauma is the reason why they ghost in the first place. Men who ghost don’t deserve any woman let alone a “high value” woman. What ever that means. Once we as human beings start to respect the fact the we are all on a path of learning and healing we will learn to respect one another and stop waisting each other’s time by playing foolish games. Love and light
But we as women are also traumatized, rape, abuse,absent dad's and the list Gobon but we still bring our all emotionally into relationships....don't get me wrong, I know exactly what u mean by traumatized men....but at some point we all have to be responsible for our actions
@@auntyb4130 Yes! my point exactly We are all traumatized Hence “We are all on a path of learning and healing” But as for the high valued woman, every human being on earth has value. No one deserves to be treated poorly. However, society has normalized ghosting as if it’s a status thing. When in actuality it’s a sign of trauma and immaturity. Peace and Blessings ❤️
Once he pulls away , I ain't trying to figure out sh** ...Then once a man sees that u are not running behind him & sees that you are going on w/life as usual, here they come back again...Being detached is the best way to be..I'm in that situation, he's back & he won't go away...Thank God I do want him to stay or else I would be filing a restraint order.
To men and women equally... we need to learn to recognize and correct the narcissistic traits in ourselves. There is a way to protect and love ourselves without putting the egotistical "high value" vibe out there. We should always be focused on being a better person. It is ok to look for traits in others as a way to not get stuck in a destructive relationship, but do not use it as a form of judgment. Peace be with you all.
This. Absolutely this. It's also worth noting a lot of guys in the early dating stage will pull back as a test because they realize they're the only one initiating. If the person they fancy initiates back in response, or asks what's up, that shows they are genuinely invested and improves the odds of a relationship forming healthily. But if either side dips completely, for whatever reason.. You're best off just moving on. They probably weren't ready yet, or you might've dodged a bullet. Usually both.
When I was younger this would trigger alot of anxiety inside me. I’ve learned to detach since then. Currently going through this and I’m not even fazed. He was intense for the first weeks now hes gone 3 days without contacting me. Sometimes the thought pop up to contact him but its not anxiety like before. I don’t contact. He knows where I am. My focus is on myself and my life.
My problem Is that I build whoever I’m dating up in my mind, so I’m not receptive to anyone else. Going on a date with someone else is depressing, and I just compare him to the guy I want.
You said it yourself,.. "you build them up in your mind",... You give them that power over you by magicalizing them, and concluding that they have a superiority to other men, and you can strip them of that power/magic/superiority ... Whenever you find yourself in that act of building them up, tear all that down and let them be just another human man.
I agreed with everything up until your final point. If he comes back and has no reasoning for the silence, I believe a high value woman WOULD tell him that that’s not okay and her time is worth more than that. I wouldn’t make a joke out of it or try not to offend him … it’s okay to let him know that it hurt you or you don’t want to deal with that
I think a high value woman would not bother to give him any of her time. He is an emotional manipulator or is juggling more women at the same time. Also I think it's better that he ghosted a women in the beginning so that she can know that he can leave her after three kids and say that he is bored.
Agree. why should I care if he figured out that I am hurt by his behavior when he already proved me that he's not the one? why still wanting to him to prove him that I'm high value by acting indifferent ? Do this person's thoughts matter anymore ? no.. I just want to express myself authentically. being strong is not about showing indifference it's about being brave enough to express yourself to him straight forward and unapologetically.
You need to beat them in their own game. Get yourself a stable of men and move onto the next one! The right guy will always win in the end! Remember you are worthy! Put yourself first!
I very much agree with this video. On the other hand I never considered myself a low value woman and I wasn't. I gave responses which might indicate low value, at least in the eyes of certain kind of men. There's a difference. Indeed I acted so because of lack of control and sometimes because of too much control. Not being able to deal with the unknown. Being too passionate, too anxious, too much about justice and calling them out, too giving and understanding. Too emotional and not protecting myself enough. But to tell the truth most of the time I didn't care that much of what they'd think, how they'd perceive me. There was a lot of wasted time though, however probably I wouldn't have learned what I know now ( mainly about myself) if I hadn't made a ton of mistakes. The biggest struggle is attracting a man whom I'd very much mind losing and for all the right reasons. A great man with integrity. And why I haven't come across such a man is not because I'm low value but because of not living and acting according to my value. I guess there are lots of princesses among us walking around as geese keeper or Cinderella or other inferior creatures from fairy tales, robbed from their real position and sense of value. The real turning point is when we stop believing what our environment conspired us to believe and start drawing the line, and not only with men. I suspect that this is a much bigger issue than only dating. And unfortunately it doesn't get solved miraculously like in fairy tales by a man coming to save us ☺️.
Relatable... gives me a good picture of who I am dealing with for REAL when calling ppl out or whatever. I do not shut up and act because I should not need to
A self-confident woman will not react in a panic to such a man's behavior. Let go of such a timid partner. A man must be ready to take responsibility for his woman and her life. A woman cannot control everything and especially this situation when a man distances himself. Tell him ""au revoir"" and don't waste your time on him. The sea is full of fish.
I understand the advice, I d give the person pulling away a few days… 10/14 days. Sometimes people just need to recharge, and think if they are properly ready. Then taking time to think is NOT a jugement of your value, it’s about them assessing if THEY are ready. You could be the most wonderful woman in the world, but if they are not ready, then they are not ready… timing is also a factor. I have 2 brothers and they go into man cave mode quite often. It’s not “intentional”. I am talking about emotionally healthy people here. If someone ghosts or stops replying then yes get the hint…
My Loves, when a man "pulls away" that you like "it's because he peeped some ish you did that was foul OR he's allowing you to domineer when the interaction occurs." YOU have to take accountability when and if your actions "pushed him away" (you could have a dismissive or fearful attachment style) or "put your big girl panties on" and make him feel desired by you (even felines come around when they're hungry). TS SIMPLE! This video will lead you in cycles of #triggering repetitions with US if you do the advice spoken of in that beautifully put together video. Take it from me. A man. An attractive & successful one at that. #NowYouKnow Use SEDUCTION! Woks everytime, promise...
Fantastic advice. I did most of these tips eventually when I got sick of hating myself. Realised I had nothing to lose to finally start caring for myself and having some fun. I still feel insecure from time to time, but trusting that it's a big world out there, there are always options, and that you deserve to be treated well is a good foundation to fall back on.
I wish I knew this earlier. Completely agreed on don't think why he is pulling away. Just pulling away is the enough reason to stop. And never give benefit of doubt to any man no matter how much you love him. Just boundaries to be never crossed.
Not reacting and remaining still when all you want to do is text them a million times demanding clarity is hard lol but it gets easier with practice. My detachment game is 💯. They know what they're doing. And if they do care it'll drive them equally if not more crazy that you aren't freaking out lol You can freak out in private, write it out cry it out but never let 'em see you sweat
No, it's not a sign of any " value", it's a sign of cherish this situationship. If a guy can't see this then it makes him low value. Then youshould cut him off and never look back. Not all the men are the same, a lots of my male friends treasure those women who treasure the relationship with them.
I was on board with everything until we got to #5, which is what I struggle with the most. Instead of acting nonchalant when they return, I don’t hold back from holding them accountable. I guess at this point I’ve already let them go anyways so I have nothing to lose, but is it a “low value” response to tell men how they should treat a lady? It makes me so angry. I grew up in the Philippines and this kind of behavior does not exist there. I’ve only seen it in the western world.
It's not so much the fact that you tell them how they should treat a lady that is low value...it's the fact that you "need" to tell them that translates a weakness which is not low value in itself but it's better to be stronger and to actually not care even explaining. The more you control the urge of telling people and teaching people who don't deserve your time and energy the more powerful you become.
@@Theblackswan55 I definitely hear you about being selective with how we spend our energy! There is definitely more power in showing the world how to treat us versus saying it. I think it’s just my really strong sense of justice and calling people out on their BS, but in the end it is kind of pointless if the other person is not in the space to receive your message anyway (and weak flaky men rarely are). Thank you so much for your content and insights! I’ve grown a lot in the short time I’ve followed your channel
i have absoutley no problem telling a guy his behaviour is unnaceptable, rude, manipulative and hurtful. what usually happens is, they lose respect for you at the time but then as they move on through life, with your remarks in mind, they become more self aware of their own behaviour. eventually after time they realise you were right, you were honest and open and kind and they were wrong. thats a win in my eyes, telling people where they are going wrong is a form of tough love for me. i know i wont be sleeping with him ever again or accepting his bullshit ever again so i dont have to play mind games anymore and i treat them like a friend. its a growth lesson. so he can evolve.
Why can't we all just leave these games and strategies and just be honest and authentic? Honestly, I don't even want a man who requires any of this, nor do I want to be part of a dating world which works by some gaming rules. If you like each other, be together, fall in love, have fun, get married and have babies - simple. What's the problem?!
everyone is been constantly bombarded by propaganda, honest discussion is censored while dishonest behavior is rewarded finding honest people to engage with is very hard. if you hate the games, dont play.
Update: met my boyfriend 6 months ago - no rules, no strategies. Whenever I want to talk or text him, I do, whenever he wants, he does. We have honest conversations about our feelings, he knows about my weaknesses and I know his. 2 months ago we moved in together, he found a new job in my city and moved here for me, we're talking about our future, marriage and having children. The honest way is simple, isn't it?
@@irenelaveda Thank you! I'm sure you will, it happened to me just when I "gave up" and stopped worrying about it. Definitely didn't want to take part in childish games.
Thank you for the tips! I use to do it the wrong way…. Now after decades of experience I have found that you are exactly right!! Every example given is precisely how you learn to stop worrying about men and fall back in love with yourself!!!! The makeup the pedicure new perfume!! Thrift store for new cute outfits because after losing those few extra pounds …..why invest? Every woman in this world 🌎 that is free to make her own choices should always choose herself first only then will she have the space and strength to be ready for whatever life wants to throw at her!!! Thank you again for Reminding me how far I have come on this journey called life💕🙏🏼
5:43 Wow "When you shift the focus from who you want to be with, to who you deserve to be with, that's when you start ruling out all the inconsistent men, the time wasters, the ambiguous men, the men who aren't ready for a relationship, the men who don't know what they want, etc...if someone is no longer reciprocating your attention and your interest, tell yourself onto the next one who really likes you and shows up for you. Remind yourself that you should only allow yourself to be with someone who wants to be with you a 100% and nothing less. If he has any doubts, and we all have doubts at some point, he has every right to take the time to think. But you shouldn't give him the benefit of knowing that you are quietly and surely waiting for him. Don't give him this free option, and if he comes back he has to prove himself to you again."
Sadly I learned this the hard way, I found out that this person was a liar, and his actions contradicted what he said, but I just kept on pushing and wondering why he became so distant. I finally accepted that I had allowed myself to be low value for too long to be treated badly for too long. No more. It really is hard to do, but you’ll look back and be glad you didn’t get too involved.
I'm nearly 60 and it makes me furious to see so much hard work done by women in the 60's, 70's & 80's now seeming almost irrelevant again. Women need to be 'high value' for themselves, no one else. i find it a really objectionable phrase when i see it attatched to comments about a womans appearance, and her 'worth' in the eyes on a man. You only need to be 'high value' in your own eyes, and the eyes of those that love you as you are. Why are we still letting our daughters measure their worth against the 'value' of a man? its wrong..its depressing and its like watching history slide backwards!
It's good to hear it from a woman.I'm also naturally anxious,so this is very helpful, I also panic and try to figure out why a guy is pulling away, and would try and post stuff of me on social media for him to see how much fun I'm having when in actual fact I'm "hurting" and feel rejected.
If you choose to reach out ladies, never tell them you were worried if he was ok. Specially if he isn’t giving you explanations or apologizing as to why he fell Off the face of the earth. That ending was a bit contradicting. Just check in, feel the vibe, get your clarity, and act accordingly. ❤
I got into a relationship and it was moving so forward and nice that I didn’t see it coming. When he starts pulling away, I started fighting with him and now I am broke and he is laughing out there without any regret. At the end he put everything on me and moved out. I didn’t had the courage to come out of it when I saw the red flags but it is true. Red flags and men pulling away, everything is real. So to all the ladies out here, this is seriously a good advice.
Hi I hope you are doing fine? Sometimes we are in love with the person that we do not see the red flags. It happened to me too but everything happened for a reason.
They always try to come back after they realize they can’t find another you. I notice people come back after I disappear. And when they come back I’m healed and moved on.
Got broken up with. Said 'cool, I understand.' Him: sent a text apologising for hurting my feelings Me: No, I think it was a good idea, I agree with x, y, z. Post a cover of a song because it was stuck in my head Him: Explains reasons why he made the wrong decision. Do you want to go for coffee? Me: Thank you, but no Me, genuinely not wanting him back. That was my method, if you do want him back. Be cool about it.
@blueberries.coaasdv May I ask for your permission to use this comment in an upcoming video, I will be hiding your name and picture just want to use it as an example of a great way to react to a man wanting out of a relationship?
Sent that exact text message to him and I’m so glad I did because he was genuinely super unwell and sick in hospital. He also appreciated the concern in that text message. It was obviously a huge misunderstanding, he wasn’t ignoring on purpose. So thankful I came across this video. Ladies, if you’re reading this then know that the in some cases the guy may be genuinely going through something bad in his life which is why he seems “distant”. And the nicest thing you could do if that was the case, is to send him a message showing that you’re concerned / care. ❤
A lot of times when you hold your ground they come back chasing, it’s about control and they try to get away with what they can. So it’s best to not over prioritize men before you see consistency in their actions and not entertain those who play these games. Be firm and you’ll attract the right ones.
Everyone is different. I think I have a personality that when I like someone I like to be with them as much as possible and shower them with love. However there are men that dont like to show pda, that are not romantic. Sometimes opposites attract, sometimes not. Sometimes it takes time to know who someone is after certain situations. One man can have a busy work week, family issues etc. One man doesnt have a busy schedule and has the time to text you more often. Everyone has a different lifestyle. If a guy doesnt text me for 2 days, thats okay. Its not the end of the world. However, if you agree on certain things, like when or how often to meet and he makes excuses to not hold to those agreements. You can say something about it. You should be rational. So what I gathered is that the fact I am a person that seeks and gives a lot of attention and has the time to text and call and what not does not mean every guy I am interested has the same free time I do. It doesnt make him less worthy of you, it means you have to adjust to each others lifestyle. The same with friends. I dont need to text my friends every darn day. Everyone is living their life and thats okay. Another thing just because you do not match as partners does not devalue him or you. You simply dont mix together. And thats okay. But treat eachother with respect. Communicate it. Be honest with the reality of the situation. We cannot read minds. And its okay to feel lost and sad because you have feelings for someone. I admit it hurts like hell and thats okay. You do not have to turn into a ice queen or become someone you are not. Let the emotions flow. Bettet than having resentment and be bitter about it.
I'm having a real heartbreaking time 😢 I needed this video at the perfect moment ❤ I don't know what will happen but I have to learn to let go of the negative aspects in my life❤
Once you feel avoided by someone,never disturb them again. Period.
My current situation
PERIODT!!
Preach!
Yeah, avoided but he always looks at my stories 🙄 why?
Ok.... I will do that ...i am trying babe, but just cannot do that
Rejection is God’s protection
Joyce Whitney. Ur saying absolutely right.
As long as we don't entertain the devil's trap.
Boon in disguise.
Preach!
Amen
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away, if he does'nt want you, nothing can make him stay.
Totally agree with this.
WELL SAID.If a man is not interested in a woman ,if a man doesnt care he will find the most stupid reason to leave you.
Simple as that...
(if you’re meant to be together you will be no matter what, & if you’re not you can do whatever you want & it won’t work)
Youch. Yeah, so true
Those could make some very good lyrics 😮
I heard it somewhere and I live by this rule: "Never let a man tell you he doesn't want you more than once". If I feel he doesn't or no longer wants me, this is an end for me. I completely remove myself from the situation, no matter how hard it might be for me.
That’s so weak and manipulative, but I guess we all love different
@@patriciaanderson6300 how
So how many men do you have to sleep with by this strategy?
No, you need to be clingy and stalk them as they do, and then when they know they will never get rid of you unless they die by your own hands, then you leave. Honestly, it's not that hard.
@@patriciaanderson6300 😂😂😂😂 good one bud
If a man wants to be with me and suddenly he pulls away, I will not reach him at all. Then he doesn’t contact me for 5 days, I assume he passed away. If he comes back, I will say “sorry, you are not worth my time” with smile and walk away. A lot of good guy in this world, I should give another guy the opportunity to approach me 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
Brilliant. Reminds me of something I like to ask myself here and there: “What’s the difference someone who’s dead and someone you used to know?” Nothing. If you decide to commit symbolic suicide, then I wish you luck on the other side.
@@pickmeupstix I do what I want, my life my rules 😁, I have my own standard, if a man can’t meet my requirements I don’t need him, east and simple.
Omg I LOVE this! I am going to do the same from now on!
Hahahahhahahahahahha, assume he passed away! LOVE THIS!!!!
@@rsamuels6969 make way for better men 🤪
If a man pulls - walk - for good. Let him learn what he lost. PERIOD. Tired of people putting up with games and trying to figure out people's nonsense. THAT'S HIGH VALUE
Facts 💯
❤❤🌷🌷
Agree, never chased a man..even with a garbage abuser who played GAMES 24 years, broke my back and almost my neck...wasted 24 years of my life cooking and cleaning, being a slave and being abused, these are Narcs that hide who they are till after your stuck, pray for help with Jeh God and he will help you....low value men DNT value what they have till you leave...
@@lisacranmer8005 Or u marriad ??
❤❤😍😍🌷🌷
I've stopped chasing after people entirely. If I've clearly expressed my interest in them and they pull away, I don't even bother understanding why anymore. It might be their insecure attachment style, their past traumas, their unhealed wounds. It might be that they're just busy and overwhelmed and don't know how to make space for a relationship. Or they might be playing games. But ultimately, it's everyone's individual responsibility to communicate those things, and if they can't, it's not my job to intuit for them. I spent way too much time doing all the emotional labor in relationships only to get taken for granted. What Matthew said once was right on: "I understand you have your reasons but I have my reality- and what I'm interested in is my reality." If a man pulls away from me, I assume the connection is done with and stop investing. If they come back, I usually only entertain them as an acquaintance. Trust built takes work to bring back online- and for me, doing that work with someone that already disappeared once isn't worth it.
Date multiple people, sleep with none of them and only become exclusive with the one you're sure is worthy of marriage do not accept engagement ring unless wedding is within 6 month or tops a year. Most important pray always.
Best and only advice women need
Sleep with none as if they will wait for u.
@@user-vx2xq3vi4ogood way to weed out the players. Men bond emotionally NOT through SEX! Date him postpone sex as long as possible and get to know him, you might find out he’s a murderer after a few months then you’ll be glad you didn’t give him your body (silly example but its possible). If he only wanted sex he’ll vanish after a few dates. So you save yourself time energy and your heart by waiting.
@@user-vx2xq3vi4oif they don’t wait they don’t deserve ur time
i got love bombed by a man recently, it was hell for a day i just cried non stop. a few days later i took myself out on a nice date, put on my sexiest dress, the same one i wore out on the date with him, treated myself to good food, gelato, bought myself flowers. and reminded myself, it's his loss, and that, i am golden. im 31 and im at an age where i dont want to settle for anything less than 100%. even 99% does not cut it
Well you’re in your thirties. You’ll have to settle. Young women get the top quality men ;)
@@MB-xv7er that kind of mindset won't get me the top quality men for sure lol
@@MB-xv7er No, young women get the most predators who seek inexperienced and controllable victims. I see it all the time, I lived it, etc. An attractive woman in her 30s or even 40s can still easily find high value men, but her body and personality both have to be attractive. Genetics, diet, sports and plastic surgery by good doctors help a lot.
And you'll be single at 41 with this mentality
@@Eric-ne3pn Single=ready for something good and content on one's own. The worst case scenario for anyone is being trapped in an unhappy, abusive marriage, with kids that act and look just like him/her...
If a man wants to be with you he will stay,
If a man pulls away, don't force it.
Love that is forced is not love.
I m agree with u
So u pull away my hard big I m alone 😍😍👧👧❤❤🌷🌷🌷
@@ImranKhan-tj3dr 😂😂😂😂😂
Probably she's not that online lover
You will find bro trust me
That's good 1 ❤️
As simple as that!
true words!
Some of you are not understanding tip #5 and that's the most important. If a man comes back and you're still talking about something that happened weeks or months ago, it only shows him you still care and that he is of great value in your life because you're still stewing about his behavior. I've made this mistake and it took a few times before I realized the guy loved when I would be all righteous and indignant when he came back because he knew he still had control. Listen, indifference is the key. Being upset only means you're still hurt it's no different from love. When he sees you don't care and his actions didn't affect your life at All (even if they did u don't tell him), he will develop a different level of respect for you. A person always know what they did wrong, they don't need you to tell them!!!!! If they cared about hurting you they wouldn't have done it in the first place. Trust.
Taking a screenshot cause this is the best advice ever.
This is really good advice in terms of the underlying motives of people, which might be control through violence or control through trauma-bond or stuff like that. BUT I would say, if that is the case and there's no apology on his side and no awareness or care of the hurt that he's caused then definitely keep that person shut out of your life. You shouldn't just not talk about it in this case but really not be around people who are this level of control freaks and hurtful. Protect yourselves.
Totally true! Indifference will intrigue him..this is fool proof ladies. Maintain your looks during your time apart so that when you do see him again you're looking fresh and vibrant. This will also pique his curiosity.
I was waiting for a comment like this
Thank you, one of the best advice ever, love you girl
The man who pulls away and hurt you cannot be the same man who could heal your pain. Read it again.
I read I again hny
Thanks
Amen
Yes he is definitely not partner material you can trust anymore, trust broken ….
DAMN… OK
Comment section is no less than a therapy❤️ more power to us all women!
❤
1: don’t try to figure out why he is pulling away; accept it for what it is, do not resist, go with the flow, don’t do anything to try and get him back
2: remind yourself that you are a high value women, have unshakable self confidence about you your self worth, do not doubt yourself, remind yourself you are high value, you deserve one who will show up for you and want to be with you no one else
3: rebuild your feminine attraction, boost your self esteem and do what makes you feel good, force yourself to do things
4: go on other dates, you need to feel your value you will feel designed by other men
5: I’m shaky with #5, leave him alone
Definitely leave him alone. Ghost him and ignore him if he comes back.
Go on dates to make you feel better about yourself? That’s male validation seeking, confident people don’t need validation from anyone they pursue their own goals.
@@vkrgfan Other dates don't have to be a bad thing. Even with other males. Just don't sleep with them!!
Exactly
@@vkrgfan dating is not seeking validation, dating is meeting new people that might share same interests as you and visit new places, try food you never tried before. Girls can have dates with other girls that are only friends
It starts with respecting yoursel. Then you ask yourself" Why would I want to be with somone who doesn't want to be with me"
Initialy you may feel little down. You get over it, its a lesson. Life goes on. You are in charge and control of yourself.
👏 go where you are loved and valued.
Don't waste time on someone who doesn't know how to handle their feelings due to immaturity. They are not completely grown or developed. It's not for you to fix.
Keep respecting yourselves , men have you on a roaster . When one bitch dosen't put out he is at another bitch . Men cares of you if you put it out . Simple as that .
Don't you think men have the same thoughts when you don't reach out?
@@irinasp3723 the nature of a traditonal, masculine man is to lead, court, pursue and hunt... they enjoy that role. That's why they love to compete, win and play games. They like to earn and give.
I dated a man for 2.5 years, we brokeup because of some reasons, I started working on myself, 1month no contact, suddenly when I was doing good by myself, he appears and tell me he isn’t doing good without me. I was a fool to give in to my emotions and reach out to help him only to know later that he was already dating another girl, didn’t even bother to let me know when he exactly knew how emotional of a person I am and still chose to lie to my face, telling me he loved me, calling me and trying to get back etc etc. Now I'm at my worst and he doesn't care and he never will. I really hope he gets all these back, I helped and this is what I got.
It's embarrassing but please pray for me I am not okay, I'm trying my best to be okay every single day but God knows it tiring.
I pray for you and I hope you learned a valuable lesson here that when you are doing well and some ex comes back, ask yourself what are his motives. Rarely do they come back for a good reason. Don't give them any ego boost, don't help them, don't do anything like that until they prove themselves again.
God saved you from a bad man. Imagine if he did all that when you were married with kids! You dodged a bullet!
I like u I m alone 👧😍😍❤🌷🌷
I pray for you. Be strong, with gods help you will make it❤️🙏🏼
See at the hindsight...you helped him twice...you are more of a giver...he didnot respect that...its his way of pathetic mindset ...But deep down he will be consumed by guilt someday..that some day may not be today...but on that someday you will be completely moved on...his guilt will not affect you as you will view him as an any other ordinary person.
It takes time...but we all move on...remember good things happen with good people...but till then focus again on the things that improve you more...and have a rule of 3: to tolerate any misbehaviour, ignorance of anbody( let it be boyfriend, friend, relative anyone) to three times in life...after that treat them like any ordinary person...But be soft with behaviour and reject softly...This rule will save you.
I wish you heal soon and help others in healing with your positivity...Kindness is powerfull...stay blessed
From India
If he pulls away, you soar away.
Be grateful for the meeting, say thanks to it, fold it and put it away. Redirect that energy to achieving your own personal success such as getting a new promotion, killing that presentation, finally saying hi to that cute co-worker, go on dates to improve your social skills, attend that concert etc. So if he ever texts you, remain upbeat n just say "oh hey, I'm doing great. Just had [insert success here]" and leave it like that. IF he wants to reconnect with you, remain ambiguous and say 'Not sure about that, I have (future plans e.g a date) coming up! 😊". No questions, no suggestions. Remain upbeat and busy and he'll realise he is no longer a priority. You're welcome 😊
Thanks
If you even decide to text back at all!
I would add that if a man is not respectful in the beginning, he never will be. Take him as he is. It's not only about him not being a priority, it is that if you can date him again, that means that you have tolerance for manipulation and you are an ideal victim for manipulation. And he will not stop being manipulative in the relationship in this or that way if you stay with him. Ghosting someone is a huge red flag. It's about pulling your emotional strings, weakling your self-esteem and controling your heart, mind and behaviour. These are dangerous things in a relationship. Many of such men are narcissists.
If he gets distant, he can stay distant in my opinion. Just means he's juggling other women. If things don't work out with them, he bounces back to you. Hell no!! Stay the hell away!!
Women behave this way too. It’s not a man or woman problem it’s a people problem
@@mizzanbarasi9103 true and to be honest more women do this than men and the reason is simple its way easier for women to meet guys via social or apps. in the other hand men have to be handsome to use those options as effectively as women do
Exactly. Ghosting is definitely a manipulation technique.
I must say, if the guy pulls away, usually there is another woman in the picture, with or without you knowing. At least that’s what happened to me all the time.
Completely agree with this. There’s almost always another woman whether you know it or not. I learnt that the hard way
Me to u 🌷🌷❤❤
Isn’t it true? what you do about that kind of situation?
@@christyg487 I just have to let him go, and hope that he would regret for it later...
I don't want to fight with the other woman, it's too exhausting...
@@yolenda_loves_to_sing yesss! I also did this. At the end of the day the way I think about it is if you came into that connection with nothing but pure intentions and honesty and he lied etc throughout…karma will come and you can walk away with your head held high knowing you were honest and true x
I've stopped chasing after people entirely. If I've clearly expressed my interest in them and they pull away, I don't even bother understanding why anymore. It might be their insecure attachment style, their past traumas, their unhealed wounds. It might be that they're just busy and overwhelmed and don't know how to make space for a relationship. Or they might be playing games. But ultimately, it's everyone's individual responsibility to communicate those things, and if they can't, it's not my job to intuit for them. I spent way too much time doing all the emotional labor in relationships only to get taken for granted. What Matthew said once was right on: "I understand you have your reasons but I have my reality- and what I'm interested in is my reality." If a man pulls away from me, I assume the connection is done with and stop investing. If they come back, I usually only entertain them as an acquaintance. Trust built takes work to bring back online- and for me, doing that work with someone that already disappeared once isn't worth it.
Wow for your thoughts 🔥
❤
I love this. ❤️
A wise comment. Definitely. You've got brains, and you can read between the lines and through the aurface of things.
Exactly 👏🏻
1. Don't try to figure out why it happened
2. Remind your self that you are high value
3. Rebuild your feminine attraction
4. Go on other dates
5. If you want to get in touch, do this. Just once!
Boring
The 5th one shows that a woman has tolerance for manipulation in a relationship and has a lack of self-respect.
I want him😒
@@looser4755 If you want him but you regret wanting him, just realize that it's only chemistry in your head and that it will pass. Also, find a replacement for him something that you love.
@@michaelasun7593 really?
The man you're describing is a man NOT interested in you. Let that fkr go. Block, delete, move on. No woman deserves to be treated that way. He's just not interested. Accept it, so you can be with a man who IS interested.
Exactly right
Block n delete
Sometimes he might be a bit intrested but hasnt seen your quality and value quiet yet, so you are not a priority to him. Thats when you set clear boundries, dont answer his calls and text. And when if hes still calls after a few days, just send him a clear and honest message about how his behaviour isnt appreciated and wish him well and say goodbye. But If the relationship was in a very early stage and hes really sorry for his behaviour you might consider giving him a second chance to prove himself, he might not really seen who the real you is and therefore doesnt value you highly. Also remember when giving him a new chance, just see him as an option. Sometimes we are too quick to judge. But if you been on a few dates or talked for a few weeks/months and he pulls away/ghost you, then you need to close that door for good. That man doesnt deserve another chance because he has seen your quality and doesnt value it.
Yes, Queen!
@@naimam3976 💯agree
I’ve dated 5 guys in my entire life. 3 were ones who were truly devoted and marriage material and never “pulled away” - in fact I was the one pulling away and they forgave me. The other two “pulled away” from me and caused me the biggest heartbreaks and both almost ruined my life.
The next time a guy tries to pull away I already know he’s not the one. Delete him and move on.
Karma much?
@@sallylemon5835 the message is actually to focus on your own life and stop playing these games. you might pull the immature men but high quality men won't buy your games (they've seen it all) but on the bright side also won't play games with you once they decide to focus on you. :) i am quite happy and never played games with the 3 serious ones; i just didn't want to get married to focus on my career and other goals.
@@dbsk06 You fucked the feelings of those 3... genuine ones then Karma happened.
Yes. Also, it's s better that he pulls away in the beginning than e.g. when a woman ets pregnant or is highly emotionally invested in them.
@@michaelasun7593 yup. #dodgedabullet
My boyfriend pulled away so I mirror his actions and he told me that I don’t care about him since I never cared to know how he is doing. That’s when I knew he is toxic
He is not toxic , you are toxic. Please just let him go so he will find a better woman and have kids with her and be happily ever after without you. He deserves so much better than you.
when there are guys are mad in the comments, that's when you know that you're doing things right!
I m alone 👧👧😍❤🌷🌷🌷
Mirroring is the best. Give me a bucket, I give back a tonne.
@@хорошийчеловек-л6я
I needed this. He can stay wherever he wants. He has lost me for good. I'll detach myself completely. He doesn't deserve me
No he doesnt, beautiful young queen. Keep your head up and move on with grace.
This is what even i thought. But i find it extremely difficult to detach after 10 years of relationship. its cutting into my heart and I am wavering between attaching and detaching from him
@@thesubtlebodies4220 wow why'd you let it get up to 10 yrs? You already made your brain comfortable with such treatment and made it ok for him to treat you as such so now your brain associates it as normal and will find it hard to detach oh well goodluck
@@missfefeloves No what i meant was , for 10 years he was fine, we were very close to each other. Now i can sense him changing a lot and it is difficult to detach now, beavuse of the love we shared for 10 years. im not able to attach or detach. that is my situation now
@@thesubtlebodies4220 wow I'm so sorry about that. Maybe talk to him about it
This is the trick to detach quickly. Don't initiate contact for atleast 2 weeks. If you do, then start afresh and start counting. With time you'll release that he is falling off the pedestal that you put him on. With time you'll go through the day without thinking of the clown.
Thank me later.
if a man pulls away that is everything you need to know, the best thing to do is not care and take that as a sign of God protecting you. When he comes back do not respond, if I am bored sometimes I will respond to a few messages to show unbothered but no extra conversations no meeting up and after the 3rd message I never respond again. Unless he has an apology you feel is genuine (most men do not disappear on a woman they were serious about
Hi
😍😍❤❤🌷🌷
This!
Remember: No response is a response. Loud and clear message
In my opnion - its not about being comfortable with uncertainty, but knowing and valueing yourself enough to be comfortable with letting things go that dont serve you
good point. "being comfortable with uncertainty" leaves room for misinterpretation, as if it's ok and perfectly normal when you don't understand where someone stands with you. But it's not ok, people with good intentions won't leave you confused or send you mixed signals.
I feel like this is the lesson my mom should've taught me as a woman, but she was insecure about herself so I don't blame her. Thank you for this
I blame mine for telling me to love myself but not giving me the tools
I do feel the same
Ladies, if you're struggling with letting go of a man, feeling very attached to him and afraid of letting go, if the pressure of constantly keeping your "high value" is overwhelming you, this is for you. God loves you. The only way you can have "high value" is by letting Jesus Christ make you holy through His crucifixion. Instead of prioritising men and playing dangerous mind games, put GOD first and be WHOLE and COMPLETE in Him. If you don't know what to do, Jesus Christ will guide you along your uncertain journey and give you PEACE above your own understanding. God bless you and I pray that you turn to Him as your ultimate source of happiness. 🙏😇
Wow 🙏🏼
Amen 🙏🏼
Amen 🙏🏽 ❤
Amen 🙏
The reason why he pulls away is because he is seeing another woman! So now you have to decide if you even want him back when it fizzles out with her and he comes crawling back to you.
I had a man who was very interested in me. He would come and go but each time he would contact me back after weeks I always answered him kindly as if I didn’t care. I always went on with my life. At the end that man proposed to me and ended up pouring his heart out to me. I never imagined his feelings for me were so deep. If a man pulls away it’s ok we don’t know what he’s going through and what’s
Going on with his life. Just go on with your life and go with the flow.
Wow really?
@@corinthiafair8395 yes. We didn’t end up together but it showed me that I am lovable and what a man does when he has deep feelings. He could no longer hide it and expressed his love. I never expected anything from him I opened up emotionally to him and he got to know the real me.
Was he a Cancerian?😁
I believe this whole heartedly♥️ space and detachment, forces a man to really think about what he could potentially be losing, I have a gentleman in my life I’ve known him for a year now, and each time he comes back, I’m the same, and I have no ill will towards him. Sometimes people are really trying to gauge whether or not they want you in their life and simultaneously you have to figure out if they will fit into yours🙏🏾
If you watch many of the male channels many of them teach men how to get a woman chasing after them by disappearing after courting heavily and romantically or dating you, this is why its happening to so many woman. Once the woman reaches out they feel the man then feels they are clear to date others and then they have you on a rotation because the persuing is over, most men wont admit this but they develop actual feelings for you while they are persuing you for long periods of time. By playing games and cutting the time of pursuit they can open their resources, time and availablity to persuing other women perpetuating nature in the desire to have multiple women and spreading the seed. Its not in any womans best interest to chase a man so I agree with this tho I wouldnt reach out, thats a trap they are waiting for and your worth in their eyes will plummet.
I agree with you and that is why I am making this video. To help women who are naive as I used to be prepared for the dating field.
Thank you very much for posting this comment. I honestly had no idea that this level of game-playing was being taught to men. No wonder I suffered so much. He lovebombed me for two months then disappeared. It actually destroyed me for awhile, because I am of a different culture, very sheltered married life for 20 years, and completely naive in the dating arena.
In my culture, we didn't play mind games.
@@brunashiroka1682 💜💐
OMG, thanks so much for this. I am going through this and I was so confused. This makes a lot of sense. It’s 4am in the morning and I was so stressed, now I just feel relieved! Moving on from this toxicity.
Its called trauma bonding...not healthy at all. If he ghost let the the dead rest in peace.
This video just appeared in the right time. I started talking to someone recently and he seemed interested at first and as soon as I started showing as much interest, he started to pull away. Bottom line most men suck, don't settle for less! :) Thank you so much for this video❤️
He is a man child dealing with his own issues. He just needs validation to save himself from his pathetic self that is why he pulled away when you showed interest. He is not even worth your glance sister.
❤️
The world is already too stressful so why play these useless games? They do it way to often is crazy. If only women would forget about them totally smh
same thing am going through right now
He's not worth it.
Indifference comes easily and naturally when women learn how to truly love themselves first. It is incredibly powerful and will protect you from the manipulative behaviors of others in every area of your life.
Will you be my best friend
*So crucial to have strategies to maintain our value, especially when a man pulls away. Let's all focus on self-growth and self-love, and attract partners who can match our value.*
A guy called me today we got into a bit of a riff bc I was ending our call as if I was speaking to someone I just met. He said it was being sarcastic but I let him know being I hadn’t heard from him regularly, I was responding in a pleasant non descriptive manner. He says you can call me. I said “sure, once I hear from you I’ll respond, just as I did today, bc I’m interested, but I won’t continuously reach out to you once I don’t get you. It’s a reset on my end when you’re not consistent.”
This man starts telling me I should keep calling him bc we’re equal. Never told him I was his equal. In the end I had to flat out tell him I don’t pursue men, I engage with the right man. This is the 3rd time this summer. Men really intentionally pull back to get us to chase them as to believe it proves our interest. This is all before a date even. It’s really cringe.
Wow! I absolutely love this.
I feel like you're speaking about my guy. He told me the same thing, that I can just call him whenever. But when I do call him, he never responds and doesn't call back
MY FELLOW WOMEN; WAKE UP; YOUR VALUE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM!!!!!! OMFG!!!! SMH THERE ARE TOO MANY MEN OUT HERE THAT FEED ON WOMENS PAIN AND SUFFERING. EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR LEGS TO A MAN, YOU RISK YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. ALWAYS BE READY TO LEAVE & BE AS INDEPENDENT AND PROTECTED AS POSSIBLE. FOLLOW YOUR HEART, UTILIZE INTUITION AND DISCERNMENT, BUT ALWAYS BE READY FOR MEN TO SWITCH OVER TIME. COMPASSION, CARE, RESPECT- THESE ARE EITHER THINGS THAT GROW OVER TIME OR FADE OVER TIME- & OFTEN THE FADE IS ON PURPOSE TO CAUSE WOMEN PAIN FOR MALE EGO. ALWAYS BE AWARE
Lol in this dating culture I will be surprised if anyone gets together and stays together. I hate these games. Was there ever a time where people simply communicated effectively? Some points were good though. When a man pulls away, focus on making yourself feel good. With taste of course.
THIS
These videos make me kinda sad tbh it's all just games and power and strategy. Fuck this I just want love, honesty and intimacy
This dating culture is really messed up...all this games. Stay honest and if you like someone make efforts to be with this person, if he / she likes you she will make steps too otherwise its a stupid game I am not looking to play anymore... womens pull away...man pull away...so nobody is getting together...lets be authentic and stop playing this games
Watch Jonathan Aslay channel.
totally agree. this all just perpetuates the cycle of dysfunction. i prefer to be raw, honest and human. we were born to feel ffs i find when im totally honest with guys they respect it. im not desperate but if i really like someone which is rare i will hunt them, like a lioness, cos thats what the fuck i am. id never contact them like everyday or even week, just a little bit over time. if they tell me they are not interested im fine. its when they refuse to be honest and manipulate and mixed signals i get pissed and i tell them so. what the hell is wrong with people they are so fkn scared to just be and feel what they are.
@@TarotGossip yep
I’m starting from the inside and changing my diet and exercising. Looking after myself first. I deserve a wonderful man who is 100% into me, when the time is right.
A man who pulls away from you just because he can, without any concern towards your feelings should be dumped by you right then and there... because someone like that will never treat someone respectfully because of their own insecurities. Any place where you feel unsure or uncomfortable.. You shouldnt stay.. Because on a long term, it is difficult to always be high value whenever a guy pulls away from you without any consistency.. I suggest that you move to the next one.
If a man gives one time sign he is going away NEVER accept him back, NEVER . Let him GO
My bad I did
Love isn't everything.
Don't expect
Be free
Great advice. I expect more frequent communication from the man I'm dating like daily especially in the beginning of dating. When he didn't reach out for 2 days twice, I cut off dating him exclusively after the second time. Effort wasn't consistent and words didnt match actions. If a man can go two whole days without checking on me, hes not the one for me.
Atta girl ! Never date a guy who treats you like you are Ordinary.
Hello girl, why u always want man to check u ?? 😅
@@Manofvalue525 husband material makes daily consistent effort during dating... you shouldn't be slacking during courting. No effort equals no interest. That's how I weed out the players and toxic men.
Woman are free to do the choosing. Real men know this and understand this. If he pulls away. He is giving you space and allowing you to make the decision.
These type of videos are turning woman in to men. Don’t listen to this junk.
Don’t chase, don’t be needy as this woman in the video sounds to have been. However, she is giving terrible advice.
Reach out to your man if you don’t hear from him if it’s just been for 5 days. Don’t get needy like this woman clearly has been. But don’t lose your femininity. Woman have the choice and real men know this and will give them space to decide.
You all claim to be high value woman but all of you clearly like to associate with boys and not high value men.
@@basicinfo2022 being is more important than doing.
Low value man doing many thing to impress girl, but the girl go for the high value man who just become who they are and never trying to impress girl
If they avoid you, avoid them, your attachment issues are pursuing him, not you.
I've been like this for a long time, I even dealt a Narcissist 😊. I'm married now but when I sense my husband pulling away. I turn my energy into something I love. Ex pets, music, movie , make-up, yoga....the more you love and enjoy yourself..he will too❤️❤️🙏
It must be even more painful being married to someone who pulls away.
🤦🏽♀️considering how painful it is when someone you've met 6 days ago pulls away.
all men do this.....we can all smother each other no matter the gender. Men are designed this way.....hunting for days, wars or long Sea voyages, they often did not return or died. We are designed to cling for survival. It's a cruel test & if we can keep down the fort & remain unfathomed we are appreciated, longed for & cherished.💪
@@correanne5366 No, in today's time emotionally healthy, mature and functional men are not designed in that way. It's certain dysfunctional personalities that are designed in that way nowadays. Let's not normalize this behaviour. The society keeps creating such men by normalizing such behaviours, by treating and seeing men as eternal children or by enforcing the sexist narrative of men as being unemotional, tough, etc. We are not in the stone age anymore.
"The more you love and enjoy yourself, he will too" ? Does that mean you're no longer together?
hehehe ! Epic comment Dear Queen.
Lol, you are SOOO right. It took me two decades to realise a woman never should chase a man. If he is interested, good. If he is not, it's better not to be with him.
Masculine men do the providing and courting. Feminine women do the choosing and receiving.
Your happiness doesn't revolve around him, forget he exists 😊
Step 5 is the most important. You should ask yourself the question: Do I want to be with someone that fulfills my needs on a consistent basis or irregularly, inconsistently? To have a healthy, secure relationship the latter always need to happen. So, step back, even though it hurts. Know that you are worth a man that gives you what you desire consistently without you needing to manipulate him to give you what you want. xxx
I like that…. The man you want vs the man you deserve!! 🙌🏻
I like u I m single 👧👧😍❤🌷🌷
One of your best videos by far. Happy to report, even though completely smitten, I didn’t say anything further to a guy who started giving crumby responses after our last date. I was pretty crushed, and he still pops in my mind from time to time, but damn it feels good that I didn’t give in to the temptation to reach out. It’s been a pivotal experience for owning my worth and knowing I deserve THE best.
Love this!
Congrats to you! You deserve better
Yes. We deserve the best. 🌺
Thank you for showing such sweet support everyone!! 🥰🙏 Cheers to growth enhancing challenges 🍻
@@pickmeupstix 🍻🍻
Define relationship. The only way to stay high value is not to sleep with the guy at all.
👏
This lady is so right! I overcame my last breakup restoring my self esteem and realising I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me because I have everything to offer to him and deserve nothing less in return!
The last guy I dated started being distant after 4-months. I dumped him 😀
because he found someone prettier than you. No more Mona the wack ho for him 😄
I m alone feel lonely 😍😍👧👧❤❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷
Serves him right 😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
A bunch of strong and powerful women in these comments ❤
It all boils down to the old and well known ‘never make someone a priority when you’re only an Option.’
If you can’t even make yourself a priority in your life then how do you expect others to see you that way?
If a person pulls away let them go.They always come back out of curiosity in most cases.If a person wants you ,you will know it you won't have to guess. 😊
I reacted in every wrong way that you described. It’s been tough because he’s my husband and we’re still newlyweds. Never the less, it’s time I straighten my crown and seek an annulment as well. God help me.🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
You said your HUSBAND pulled away... is that normal for married couples to pull away ?? I mean, I'm young & learning...srry if it's a personal question
Yes me too it’s my husband and he is in the military. Now we’re in long distance relationship bc of deployments. He’s not texting me or calling me but watches all my stories but don’t text me. I don’t know what to think. Now I’m ignoring him too.
@@xannelichili8581 Same! My fiance & I are in a long dist. relationship cuz of deployments. He was ignoring at the start & I did too till I made him feel how cold I can be & ignored him... the man has to feel what it's like to lose his woman or else he won't learn to appreciate you
@@lynndais3783 yes this is what I’m trying to do. At first it wasn’t easy but I got to know my worth and my self respect. He always blame his work bla-bla-bla. I feel like he doesn’t respect me at all because I was so soft at first. But now I’m not scare of the result if he wanna go then fine. I need to be a little selfish and think about me.
We will heal. We will be fine. Our future will be much brighter than our present and our past. I will never understand why or what happened but I won’t waste another ounce of energy toward that…I’m sane so I’ll never understand insanity. I’m so grateful for what God has in store for me! I’m fighting for me! I’m worth it. He doesn’t see my value but his opinion doesn’t matter! Next…his loss!🙏🏽♥️
* Be comfortable with uncertainty. 1. Don't try to figure out why this is happening. 2. Remind yourself that you are a high value woman. 3. Rebuild your feminine attraction. 4. Go on other dates. 5. Get in touch only when you want to.
Many men have been traumatized in their childhood and throughout their adult life. This trauma is the reason why they ghost in the first place. Men who ghost don’t deserve any woman let alone a “high value” woman. What ever that means. Once we as human beings start to respect the fact the we are all on a path of learning and healing we will learn to respect one another and stop waisting each other’s time by playing foolish games.
Love and light
I see ur point
But we as women are also traumatized, rape, abuse,absent dad's and the list Gobon but we still bring our all emotionally into relationships....don't get me wrong, I know exactly what u mean by traumatized men....but at some point we all have to be responsible for our actions
@@auntyb4130 Yes! my point exactly
We are all traumatized
Hence “We are all
on a path of learning and healing” But as for the high valued woman, every human being on earth has value. No one deserves to be treated poorly. However, society has normalized ghosting as if it’s a status thing. When in actuality it’s a sign of trauma and immaturity.
Peace and Blessings ❤️
Yesss, trauma goes both ways but yess agree !!
Once he pulls away , I ain't trying to figure out sh** ...Then once a man sees that u are not running behind him & sees that you are going on w/life as usual, here they come back again...Being detached is the best way to be..I'm in that situation, he's back & he won't go away...Thank God I do want him to stay or else I would be filing a restraint order.
To men and women equally... we need to learn to recognize and correct the narcissistic traits in ourselves. There is a way to protect and love ourselves without putting the egotistical "high value" vibe out there. We should always be focused on being a better person. It is ok to look for traits in others as a way to not get stuck in a destructive relationship, but do not use it as a form of judgment. Peace be with you all.
This. Absolutely this.
It's also worth noting a lot of guys in the early dating stage will pull back as a test because they realize they're the only one initiating. If the person they fancy initiates back in response, or asks what's up, that shows they are genuinely invested and improves the odds of a relationship forming healthily.
But if either side dips completely, for whatever reason.. You're best off just moving on. They probably weren't ready yet, or you might've dodged a bullet. Usually both.
Exactly 💯
When I was younger this would trigger alot of anxiety inside me. I’ve learned to detach since then. Currently going through this and I’m not even fazed. He was intense for the first weeks now hes gone 3 days without contacting me. Sometimes the thought pop up to contact him but its not anxiety like before. I don’t contact. He knows where I am. My focus is on myself and my life.
My problem Is that I build whoever I’m dating up in my mind, so I’m not receptive to anyone else. Going on a date with someone else is depressing, and I just compare him to the guy I want.
You said it yourself,.. "you build them up in your mind",... You give them that power over you by magicalizing them, and concluding that they have a superiority to other men, and you can strip them of that power/magic/superiority ... Whenever you find yourself in that act of building them up, tear all that down and let them be just another human man.
@@studylamp3512 Thank you! 💕
@@studylamp3512 magicalizing 🤩💖
I agreed with everything up until your final point. If he comes back and has no reasoning for the silence, I believe a high value woman WOULD tell him that that’s not okay and her time is worth more than that. I wouldn’t make a joke out of it or try not to offend him … it’s okay to let him know that it hurt you or you don’t want to deal with that
I think a high value woman would not bother to give him any of her time. He is an emotional manipulator or is juggling more women at the same time. Also I think it's better that he ghosted a women in the beginning so that she can know that he can leave her after three kids and say that he is bored.
Agree. why should I care if he figured out that I am hurt by his behavior when he already proved me that he's not the one? why still wanting to him to prove him that I'm high value by acting indifferent ? Do this person's thoughts matter anymore ? no.. I just want to express myself authentically. being strong is not about showing indifference it's about being brave enough to express yourself to him straight forward and unapologetically.
I need to detach from toxic relationship, it's so damn hard i had 8 years of relationship but he ended it in minutes.I hope I get over it 😢.
You will honey. Everything will be ok
You Wil ,and You can . Watch LinzQi, Marie Kondo and Mufti Menk find your Passion
how are u doing after 3 months ? i hope u can get over i know how hard it could be
@@sisid6295 I'm better now😊.Its much better to stay single than to be a toxic relationship.
You will) I was married for 13 years and took me around 6 months to get myself back ❤
Agree with most of this video aside with going on dates to get your value.... Get your value from yourself or your higher power not from other men 💜
I m hig power hot man I pull away to u every time I m alone 😍😍👧👧❤🌷🌷
I'm at the point in my life that I don't need to listen to these anymore. Just listen to your gut instinct. Action's speak louder than words!!
You need to beat them in their own game. Get yourself a stable of men and move onto the next one! The right guy will always win in the end! Remember you are worthy! Put yourself first!
Truth! It’s never smart to put all eggs in one basket
I very much agree with this video. On the other hand I never considered myself a low value woman and I wasn't. I gave responses which might indicate low value, at least in the eyes of certain kind of men. There's a difference. Indeed I acted so because of lack of control and sometimes because of too much control. Not being able to deal with the unknown. Being too passionate, too anxious, too much about justice and calling them out, too giving and understanding. Too emotional and not protecting myself enough. But to tell the truth most of the time I didn't care that much of what they'd think, how they'd perceive me. There was a lot of wasted time though, however probably I wouldn't have learned what I know now ( mainly about myself) if I hadn't made a ton of mistakes. The biggest struggle is attracting a man whom I'd very much mind losing and for all the right reasons. A great man with integrity. And why I haven't come across such a man is not because I'm low value but because of not living and acting according to my value. I guess there are lots of princesses among us walking around as geese keeper or Cinderella or other inferior creatures from fairy tales, robbed from their real position and sense of value. The real turning point is when we stop believing what our environment conspired us to believe and start drawing the line, and not only with men. I suspect that this is a much bigger issue than only dating. And unfortunately it doesn't get solved miraculously like in fairy tales by a man coming to save us ☺️.
Beautiful n relateable comment. We are all valuable n worthy of love n it just takes belief to self actualize it. 💕
@@Tam974eva Thanks!❤️
Relatable... gives me a good picture of who I am dealing with for REAL when calling ppl out or whatever. I do not shut up and act because I should not need to
A self-confident woman will not react in a panic to such a man's behavior. Let go of such a timid partner.
A man must be ready to take responsibility for his woman and her life. A woman cannot control everything and especially this situation when a man distances himself. Tell him ""au revoir"" and don't waste your time on him.
The sea is full of fish.
I belive that when a person pulls away, it is not the wright one.
I understand the advice, I d give the person pulling away a few days… 10/14 days. Sometimes people just need to recharge, and think if they are properly ready. Then taking time to think is NOT a jugement of your value, it’s about them assessing if THEY are ready. You could be the most wonderful woman in the world, but if they are not ready, then they are not ready… timing is also a factor. I have 2 brothers and they go into man cave mode quite often. It’s not “intentional”.
I am talking about emotionally healthy people here. If someone ghosts or stops replying then yes get the hint…
Wow I needed this video a few months ago. You explained this WAY better than my therapist did! Thank you for your high quality content!
Thank you for your cheerful comment. I always knew that I missed my true vocation of being a therapist (just joking 😃)
My Loves, when a man "pulls away" that you like "it's because he peeped some ish you did that was foul OR he's allowing you to domineer when the interaction occurs." YOU have to take accountability when and if your actions "pushed him away" (you could have a dismissive or fearful attachment style) or "put your big girl panties on" and make him feel desired by you (even felines come around when they're hungry). TS SIMPLE! This video will lead you in cycles of #triggering repetitions with US if you do the advice spoken of in that beautifully put together video. Take it from me. A man. An attractive & successful one at that. #NowYouKnow Use SEDUCTION! Woks everytime, promise...
Fantastic advice. I did most of these tips eventually when I got sick of hating myself. Realised I had nothing to lose to finally start caring for myself and having some fun. I still feel insecure from time to time, but trusting that it's a big world out there, there are always options, and that you deserve to be treated well is a good foundation to fall back on.
I wish I knew this earlier. Completely agreed on don't think why he is pulling away. Just pulling away is the enough reason to stop. And never give benefit of doubt to any man no matter how much you love him. Just boundaries to be never crossed.
Please don’t chase anyone. Period!!!!
After listening to anxious people it seems it's better to be an avoidant person.
Not reacting and remaining still when all you want to do is text them a million times demanding clarity is hard lol but it gets easier with practice. My detachment game is 💯. They know what they're doing. And if they do care it'll drive them equally if not more crazy that you aren't freaking out lol
You can freak out in private, write it out cry it out but never let 'em see you sweat
No, it's not a sign of any " value", it's a sign of cherish this situationship. If a guy can't see this then it makes him low value. Then youshould cut him off and never look back. Not all the men are the same, a lots of my male friends treasure those women who treasure the relationship with them.
I was on board with everything until we got to #5, which is what I struggle with the most. Instead of acting nonchalant when they return, I don’t hold back from holding them accountable. I guess at this point I’ve already let them go anyways so I have nothing to lose, but is it a “low value” response to tell men how they should treat a lady? It makes me so angry. I grew up in the Philippines and this kind of behavior does not exist there. I’ve only seen it in the western world.
It's not so much the fact that you tell them how they should treat a lady that is low value...it's the fact that you "need" to tell them that translates a weakness which is not low value in itself but it's better to be stronger and to actually not care even explaining. The more you control the urge of telling people and teaching people who don't deserve your time and energy the more powerful you become.
@@Theblackswan55 I definitely hear you about being selective with how we spend our energy! There is definitely more power in showing the world how to treat us versus saying it. I think it’s just my really strong sense of justice and calling people out on their BS, but in the end it is kind of pointless if the other person is not in the space to receive your message anyway (and weak flaky men rarely are). Thank you so much for your content and insights! I’ve grown a lot in the short time I’ve followed your channel
@@Manekiinekochan Youcan let him know in a calm way that it wasnt nice.
@@starcatcher3691 I’m always calm but my words are cut throat 😅 I want to learn how to be warm even if I’m being distant!
i have absoutley no problem telling a guy his behaviour is unnaceptable, rude, manipulative and hurtful. what usually happens is, they lose respect for you at the time but then as they move on through life, with your remarks in mind, they become more self aware of their own behaviour. eventually after time they realise you were right, you were honest and open and kind and they were wrong. thats a win in my eyes, telling people where they are going wrong is a form of tough love for me. i know i wont be sleeping with him ever again or accepting his bullshit ever again so i dont have to play mind games anymore and i treat them like a friend. its a growth lesson. so he can evolve.
I really like this content because it’s not about putting him or anyone else down, just about lifting myself up
Why can't we all just leave these games and strategies and just be honest and authentic? Honestly, I don't even want a man who requires any of this, nor do I want to be part of a dating world which works by some gaming rules. If you like each other, be together, fall in love, have fun, get married and have babies - simple. What's the problem?!
everyone is been constantly bombarded by propaganda, honest discussion is censored while dishonest behavior is rewarded
finding honest people to engage with is very hard. if you hate the games, dont play.
😂😂
Update: met my boyfriend 6 months ago - no rules, no strategies. Whenever I want to talk or text him, I do, whenever he wants, he does. We have honest conversations about our feelings, he knows about my weaknesses and I know his. 2 months ago we moved in together, he found a new job in my city and moved here for me, we're talking about our future, marriage and having children. The honest way is simple, isn't it?
Amen. I wish you the best and hope we experience the same as yours.
@@irenelaveda Thank you! I'm sure you will, it happened to me just when I "gave up" and stopped worrying about it. Definitely didn't want to take part in childish games.
Thank you for the tips! I use to do it the wrong way…. Now after decades of experience I have found that you are exactly right!! Every example given is precisely how you learn to stop worrying about men and fall back in love with yourself!!!! The makeup the pedicure new perfume!! Thrift store for new cute outfits because after losing those few extra pounds …..why invest? Every woman in this world 🌎 that is free to make her own choices should always choose herself first only then will she have the space and strength to be ready for whatever life wants to throw at her!!! Thank you again for Reminding me how far I have come on this journey called life💕🙏🏼
5:43
Wow
"When you shift the focus from who you want to be with, to who you deserve to be with, that's when you start ruling out all the inconsistent men, the time wasters, the ambiguous men, the men who aren't ready for a relationship, the men who don't know what they want, etc...if someone is no longer reciprocating your attention and your interest, tell yourself onto the next one who really likes you and shows up for you. Remind yourself that you should only allow yourself to be with someone who wants to be with you a 100% and nothing less. If he has any doubts, and we all have doubts at some point, he has every right to take the time to think. But you shouldn't give him the benefit of knowing that you are quietly and surely waiting for him. Don't give him this free option, and if he comes back he has to prove himself to you again."
Ooooh thanks
👏👏👏
Sadly I learned this the hard way, I found out that this person was a liar, and his actions contradicted what he said, but I just kept on pushing and wondering why he became so distant. I finally accepted that I had allowed myself to be low value for too long to be treated badly for too long. No more. It really is hard to do, but you’ll look back and be glad you didn’t get too involved.
@@megano.3916 well spoken, thank you.
I'm nearly 60 and it makes me furious to see so much hard work done by women in the 60's, 70's & 80's now seeming almost irrelevant again. Women need to be 'high value' for themselves, no one else. i find it a really objectionable phrase when i see it attatched to comments about a womans appearance, and her 'worth' in the eyes on a man. You only need to be 'high value' in your own eyes, and the eyes of those that love you as you are. Why are we still letting our daughters measure their worth against the 'value' of a man? its wrong..its depressing and its like watching history slide backwards!
I’ve always had trouble understanding relationships with humans … this was an eyeopener
It's good to hear it from a woman.I'm also naturally anxious,so this is very helpful, I also panic and try to figure out why a guy is pulling away, and would try and post stuff of me on social media for him to see how much fun I'm having when in actual fact I'm "hurting" and feel rejected.
hahaha
It’s obvious to men that you’re posting on social media because of them. Obvious and immature.
@@genxx2724 but still it works n they respond back?
If he wants you back, don't go back. It's better that he disappears now than after a few years of relationship.
If you choose to reach out ladies, never tell them you were worried if he was ok. Specially if he isn’t giving you explanations or apologizing as to why he fell Off the face of the earth. That ending was a bit contradicting. Just check in, feel the vibe, get your clarity, and act accordingly. ❤
That was exactly what I didn't agree with...it's like whatever you've done I'm okay with ! Nope
I got into a relationship and it was moving so forward and nice that I didn’t see it coming. When he starts pulling away, I started fighting with him and now I am broke and he is laughing out there without any regret.
At the end he put everything on me and moved out.
I didn’t had the courage to come out of it when I saw the red flags but it is true. Red flags and men pulling away, everything is real.
So to all the ladies out here, this is seriously a good advice.
Hi I hope you are doing fine? Sometimes we are in love with the person that we do not see the red flags. It happened to me too but everything happened for a reason.
These comments really help me get over my frustration.. Thank you guys.
Love ❤
You don’t have to wear make up just to to the shops . Just keep yourself well groomed.
The taking care of yourself is deeper than that.
They always try to come back after they realize they can’t find another you. I notice people come back after I disappear. And when they come back I’m healed and moved on.
Same here
Got broken up with. Said 'cool, I understand.'
Him: sent a text apologising for hurting my feelings
Me: No, I think it was a good idea, I agree with x, y, z.
Post a cover of a song because it was stuck in my head
Him: Explains reasons why he made the wrong decision.
Do you want to go for coffee?
Me: Thank you, but no
Me, genuinely not wanting him back.
That was my method, if you do want him back. Be cool about it.
Also called,"no resistance", great strategy.
@blueberries.coaasdv May I ask for your permission to use this comment in an upcoming video, I will be hiding your name and picture just want to use it as an example of a great way to react to a man wanting out of a relationship?
@@Theblackswan55 Of course! That's fine, I'm flattered
Sent that exact text message to him and I’m so glad I did because he was genuinely super unwell and sick in hospital. He also appreciated the concern in that text message. It was obviously a huge misunderstanding, he wasn’t ignoring on purpose. So thankful I came across this video. Ladies, if you’re reading this then know that the in some cases the guy may be genuinely going through something bad in his life which is why he seems “distant”. And the nicest thing you could do if that was the case, is to send him a message showing that you’re concerned / care. ❤
A lot of times when you hold your ground they come back chasing, it’s about control and they try to get away with what they can. So it’s best to not over prioritize men before you see consistency in their actions and not entertain those who play these games. Be firm and you’ll attract the right ones.
Everyone is different. I think I have a personality that when I like someone I like to be with them as much as possible and shower them with love. However there are men that dont like to show pda, that are not romantic. Sometimes opposites attract, sometimes not. Sometimes it takes time to know who someone is after certain situations. One man can have a busy work week, family issues etc. One man doesnt have a busy schedule and has the time to text you more often. Everyone has a different lifestyle. If a guy doesnt text me for 2 days, thats okay. Its not the end of the world. However, if you agree on certain things, like when or how often to meet and he makes excuses to not hold to those agreements. You can say something about it. You should be rational. So what I gathered is that the fact I am a person that seeks and gives a lot of attention and has the time to text and call and what not does not mean every guy I am interested has the same free time I do. It doesnt make him less worthy of you, it means you have to adjust to each others lifestyle. The same with friends. I dont need to text my friends every darn day. Everyone is living their life and thats okay. Another thing just because you do not match as partners does not devalue him or you. You simply dont mix together. And thats okay. But treat eachother with respect. Communicate it. Be honest with the reality of the situation. We cannot read minds. And its okay to feel lost and sad because you have feelings for someone. I admit it hurts like hell and thats okay. You do not have to turn into a ice queen or become someone you are not. Let the emotions flow. Bettet than having resentment and be bitter about it.
I'm having a real heartbreaking time 😢
I needed this video at the perfect moment
❤ I don't know what will happen but I have to learn to let go of the negative aspects in my life❤