Ysolda the Skooma Dealer - Skyrim Guard Tales

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  • Опубликовано: 3 фев 2025

Комментарии • 107

  • @MemeFlavoredJam
    @MemeFlavoredJam 11 часов назад +70

    The reason the Dragonborn submitted the tip was because he overheard the guards talking about the skooma ring, and it triggered a quest marker in his brain.
    And everyone knows, when the Dragonborn sees a quest marker, it’s already over.

    • @mr_grimmreaper8343
      @mr_grimmreaper8343 4 часа назад

      The only quest marker that they try to ingnor has to do with a certain beacon

    • @AzguardMike
      @AzguardMike 3 часа назад +2

      "a new hand touches my beacon. HEAR ME AND OBEY!!!!"
      Dragonborn :D

    • @narosedraconis2424
      @narosedraconis2424 3 часа назад

      You Must do has the quest marker guides. It is the will of the godhead. XD

    • @beverlyarcher546
      @beverlyarcher546 2 часа назад

      Well I mean Keith is the one who exposed it first this is part 2

    • @mr_grimmreaper8343
      @mr_grimmreaper8343 Час назад

      @@AzguardMike I WILL NEVER OBEY YOU I AM GOING TO GIVE YOUR BEACON TO A SKEEVER

  • @alexanderchristopher6237
    @alexanderchristopher6237 14 часов назад +116

    It’s those Khaajit caravans she kept talking to. She’s the only one in Whiterun who deals with them constantly.

    • @Alexanderfranksofficial
      @Alexanderfranksofficial 13 часов назад +15

      as a khajit player I am offended by this racial profiling and ready to throw paws 😂😂

    • @BladerZen
      @BladerZen 12 часов назад +9

      M'aiq takes offense to such slander. M'aiq is an honest khajiit(for those that know, I salute you)

    • @erenYeager4eva
      @erenYeager4eva 9 часов назад

      I think you're right. It's those cat--jeets... Furry folks destroying Nord Culture... Pfft

    • @Garret-cain
      @Garret-cain 8 часов назад +1

      You liar ​@@BladerZen

    • @kennethmorgan8795
      @kennethmorgan8795 8 часов назад

      @@Alexanderfranksofficial except I've overheard the caravan that stops at Whiterun Atahbah asks Ri'Saad for moon sugar... and he says they're running low so they have to ration it. Ri'Saad also openly tries to sell Skooma to me.

  • @mulalalu
    @mulalalu 14 часов назад +83

    Man, that Jesper is a MASTER interrogator, he should be able to crack the case in no time!

  • @jeremiahwallace2275
    @jeremiahwallace2275 10 часов назад +26

    Dragonborn: *Open mouth breathing of sternness.*
    Keith: *Sighs.* “He’s saying “WINNERS DON’T DO SKOOMA.”

  • @random3x70
    @random3x70 13 часов назад +58

    Wonder is Jesper will ever meet that weirdo prisoner in Falkreath that is muttering about Hircine

  • @Kati_P
    @Kati_P 13 часов назад +37

    Poor Kieth. He's so underappreciated.

  • @grumpyoldnord
    @grumpyoldnord 14 часов назад +93

    The Dragonborn snitched?!

    • @johnjones_1501
      @johnjones_1501 13 часов назад +10

      Some guys just can't keep their mouths shut

    • @kamdini593
      @kamdini593 13 часов назад +6

      He is a shouter

    • @hkiajtaqks5253
      @hkiajtaqks5253 12 часов назад +1

      @@johnjones_1501 lol

    • @cetrinea
      @cetrinea 8 часов назад +2

      I would say snitches get stitches, but I very much do NOT wanna go to the cloud district, and I like having functional legs.

    • @josel317
      @josel317 6 часов назад

      She probably didn't bribe him when he asked

  • @williambenz9335
    @williambenz9335 13 часов назад +51

    Wonder when the dragonborn will discover the DLC stuff, be interesting to watch these folks see him ride around on a dragon or be a vampire.

  • @SpacedT63
    @SpacedT63 13 часов назад +15

    Did Kieth dirty lmfao

  • @roll_of_tape
    @roll_of_tape 14 часов назад +52

    W a s
    I t
    T h e
    J a r l ?

    • @ArmageddonD11
      @ArmageddonD11 5 часов назад +2

      The Jarl of Falkreath, maybe

  • @sirturtlethegreat7190
    @sirturtlethegreat7190 13 часов назад +13

    I love Jesper, he's such a relatable character, I too probably wouldn't be trusted with a real sword

  • @daltonwright6514
    @daltonwright6514 13 часов назад +16

    Keith did not need to attack Jesper like that

  • @Tisapanda
    @Tisapanda 10 часов назад +5

    I cannot wait for the day we get a Keith mod in the thieves guild. I already love everything Jesper has to say when we go on adventures. I wanna hear Keith smack talk Mercer.

  • @KerbyDaFrog
    @KerbyDaFrog 14 часов назад +16

    Skooma.. the ultimate in drugs.. next to souls.

  • @LonelyOcean
    @LonelyOcean 14 часов назад +19

    OMG!!!
    JESPER DRINKS WITH SANGUINE!?!?

    • @williambenz9335
      @williambenz9335 13 часов назад +8

      He would be the one to accidentally become drinking buddies with a demon god wouldent he?

    • @Takisan111
      @Takisan111 4 часа назад +1

      Well Dave can't be the only one with strange company.

  • @cicerothenekoknightplaysall
    @cicerothenekoknightplaysall 13 часов назад +12

    Ysolda we have to cook

  • @ashwolf2006
    @ashwolf2006 13 часов назад +7

    It's obviously Nazeem

  • @FlexBeeCon
    @FlexBeeCon 9 часов назад +1

    dude really pushing the limit of the creation engine with those skooma bottles.

  • @edgevericarz8328
    @edgevericarz8328 9 часов назад +1

    Knowing the dragonborn he's actually in charge of the skooma ring he's simply tying up any loose ends.

    • @Takisan111
      @Takisan111 4 часа назад

      Keith said this particular branch was his so more likely the Dragonborn was just getting rid of the competition.

  • @lucabarbieri6943
    @lucabarbieri6943 12 часов назад +2

    When I first read the title I thought it was a new Jayserpa mod. It would be a great motif.

  • @502nickster
    @502nickster 13 часов назад +2

    About damn time you discovered Ysolda’s real dealings.

  • @Bee_Tea_Sea
    @Bee_Tea_Sea 3 часа назад

    The interview with the thieves guild guy was great
    XDDDDDD

  • @marystone860
    @marystone860 6 часов назад

    "You've been to County, I'm sure! "Here it comes!'🤣

  • @moonlightwolf
    @moonlightwolf 11 часов назад +1

    Those two desperately need to become roommates 😂

  • @hankhill3256
    @hankhill3256 14 часов назад +6

    Drug dealing vampire, my favorite build🎉

  • @Historyfrek4ever
    @Historyfrek4ever 3 часа назад

    Ysolda strikes me as someone whose defence: “It’s medicinal!” And believes it.

  • @o.d.d.792
    @o.d.d.792 13 часов назад +2

    I see that Skyrim For Pimps series might have inspired this skit

  • @toricarlini4474
    @toricarlini4474 13 часов назад +4

    Breaking Whiterun

  • @rolandoalvarez5773
    @rolandoalvarez5773 13 часов назад +2

    Whiterun's a safer city with Jesper on watch. He can be trusted with a new sword.

  • @RustedBuddy5192
    @RustedBuddy5192 11 часов назад +3

    This CAVE..... wouldnt happen to be the cave right at Sleeping Tree Camp would it?

  • @snowcat4861
    @snowcat4861 12 часов назад

    Thank you for this... I definitely asked for this a few weeks back. This is awesome

  • @Watcherobot
    @Watcherobot 9 часов назад +1

    All true Skyrim players know that it was either Nazeem or Heimsker.

  • @sircrim8694
    @sircrim8694 8 часов назад

    Sucha win for Jesper, he deserve a promotion and to lead his own team to crack this case

  • @kennetheaton1728
    @kennetheaton1728 2 часа назад

    My first thought was that the Dragonborn had filled the room with bottles as a gag, like cheese wheels.

  • @theviking1359
    @theviking1359 12 часов назад +4

    It was Nazeem obviously

  • @Baker11ification
    @Baker11ification 11 часов назад

    This is just fun man I love it so much. Thank you.

  • @rossnorris2351
    @rossnorris2351 14 часов назад +2

    Awesome, just awesome.

  • @Sneak1509
    @Sneak1509 10 часов назад +1

    Woooow, we get ready to learn about Keith and the camera cuts away, so so rude XD

  • @ronin7997
    @ronin7997 14 часов назад +18

    Damn, I'm conflicted. Although Jesper is my bro, homie arresting my Skyrim wife does not sit well with me.

    • @loko2282
      @loko2282 12 часов назад

      Me to😢

  • @sweetrollqueen5136
    @sweetrollqueen5136 14 часов назад +3

    I'd listen to you Keith XD

  • @sircrim8694
    @sircrim8694 8 часов назад

    I'm surprised that the khajiits dealing regularly with Ysolda near the whiterus's stables, weren't suspected XD

  • @marystone860
    @marystone860 6 часов назад

    This makes Bravil look TAME by comparison! 🤣

  • @FreyjaRKim
    @FreyjaRKim 13 часов назад +8

    Keith being salty because we love Jesper too much is not on my bingo card, but I'm glad we got to see it.😂That said, now I'm salty at Jared because he decided that he will never reveal Keith's face and we will never know his "looks of Dibella". 😂Though if his Keith mod is anything like Jesper mod, it shall be revealed. 😂

  • @Tio-354
    @Tio-354 13 часов назад +1

    NO! MY DEALER!!!!

  • @rangerknight7438
    @rangerknight7438 14 часов назад +4

    It was nazeem lol I think I spelled it right

  • @mattmeyer6186
    @mattmeyer6186 10 часов назад

    Ysolda was framed. She's actually a Sleeping Tree Sap dealer. You got the wrong woman!

  • @omegawolflight
    @omegawolflight 10 часов назад

    damnit we have to protect the skooma ring

  • @curiouswind9196
    @curiouswind9196 5 часов назад

    I belive Kieth looks like the gigachad man

  • @colly407
    @colly407 14 часов назад +2

    Its thoughts khajiits all those times shes talked to them they were convincing her to do it ARREST THEEMMM

  • @omegawolflight
    @omegawolflight 10 часов назад

    now i want jesper to try skooma lol

  • @bea8790
    @bea8790 12 часов назад +1

    give keith more air time

  • @RealMotherOfCats
    @RealMotherOfCats 56 минут назад

    Oh no, Not my wife being the Skooma cook! Hmmm.. maybe that's why she always have so much money on her. Iknew it could not be just by selling little bit of this and a little bit of that....

  • @WooShell
    @WooShell 3 часа назад

    I didn't know Ysolda also did Skooma.. I thought that Sleeping Tree Sap was her main trade. But I guess, you have to diversify nowadays if you want to keep your business afloat.

  • @desirose69
    @desirose69 8 часов назад

    The Dragonborn was at that party too! Wtf?!

  • @danielflorencio9661
    @danielflorencio9661 Час назад

    Don't worry, Keith the thief. I care about your hobbies. Tell me about them.

  • @MatthewAlvey-s9u
    @MatthewAlvey-s9u 12 часов назад

    We need a face reveal for Jesper and the theif

  • @askrub851
    @askrub851 14 часов назад +2

    schumer

  • @J_o_B_is_back
    @J_o_B_is_back 13 часов назад +1

    Yay! Drugs!

  • @Effel87
    @Effel87 12 часов назад

    Ysolda was framed! She deals tree sap not skooma.😢 it was the thief!

  • @tragiclittlepikachu9632
    @tragiclittlepikachu9632 10 часов назад

    Does Jesper have an annoying older sibling who occasionally comes around to bully and humiliate him occasionally for the laughs?

  • @omegawolflight
    @omegawolflight 10 часов назад

    woo a new one

  • @gaminreasons8941
    @gaminreasons8941 10 часов назад

    Ysolda needs a Lawyer, she doesn't deal in Skooma, I have it on good authority that she only deals in Sleeping Tree Sap which is 100% natural, no Moon Sugar or Nightshade is added. Sleeping Tree Sap is also totally Legal due to it having no significant withdrawal symptoms or reports of addiction.
    I have good reason to believe that she has been Framed, she's the perfect scapegoat. Her connections to the Khajiit Caravans might make her suspicious to the average Nord, but she's merely a compassionate soul who disagrees with the decrees of the Jarls of Skyrim believing the Khajiit are being unfairly treated, naive she may be to their alleged Skooma Dealings and Supposed Connections to the Thieves Guild.

  • @duskbringer4583
    @duskbringer4583 9 часов назад

    ...Now watch Dragonborn snitch on Keith.

  • @KdaAnimeFan2
    @KdaAnimeFan2 13 часов назад +1

    oh no I like Ysolda
    but still damn, DB's moral compass seems to be all over the place, one day he's forking Narfi next he's snitching on drug dealers, was he good friends with Ulag?

  • @Left-2-stray
    @Left-2-stray 10 часов назад

    Ysolda is the one I usually marry

  • @TylerRichardson14
    @TylerRichardson14 13 часов назад

    YEE YEE!

  • @cgtclips
    @cgtclips 8 часов назад

    ysolda 's husbands are all in comments :D casuals :D

  • @NathanTaub
    @NathanTaub 7 часов назад

    Uh... did Ysolde always look like that?

  • @bryce4724
    @bryce4724 13 часов назад

    Dose the thief have to lock pick during his workout

  • @chrispinzon4752
    @chrispinzon4752 7 часов назад

    When will Jesper find Meridias beacon.

  • @colewhite9290
    @colewhite9290 9 часов назад

    Sorry, I can't hear you over the b-roll

  • @StarkSkye
    @StarkSkye 13 часов назад +2

    Keith, my friend, you weren't 'opening up' - you were doing that thing where you pretend you're casually mentioning something without bragging, when it is indeed a brag.
    Also, Ysolda. Has money gotten so tight you have to go into mass production or something? I mean, I can't even tell if your hair looks like that because of all the skooma fumes, or if it's just a cheap haircut.

    • @DionysusFOX
      @DionysusFOX 11 часов назад +1

      I think he needs a friend

  • @darkdrogod8890
    @darkdrogod8890 14 часов назад +4

    1st yay

  • @ordomachinum4016
    @ordomachinum4016 4 часа назад

    Too bad Skyrim skooma is all watered down garbage