Disrespect, Selfishness, entitlement, sense of delusion, greed, lack of compromise and understanding for the other are all contributing factors. Cheating can fall under selfish and disrespect
This may be true; however, both parties must take responsibility for their role in the marriage failing. I have found that 99.98% of the time, the man or the woman usually shows you who they are, and one tends to ignore the sign or really believe that the person will change . It never works if you are entering thinking you can change the other person. One needs to learn how to love the person standing in front of them despite their faults.
The couple must be INTENTIONAL in keeping their marriage going. Both must be doing their parts. Once one partner stops or becomes uninterested, the marriage is over even if divorce is not filed. If someone doesn’t want you anymore, pls pls don’t beg, don’t persuade, don’t get mad, just move on with your life because you CANNOT make anyone to be with you.
You said it. If someone no longer wants you in their life, they will not treat you the way God says. The marriage has run it's course. Trust God, let her go. Cut your losses and let them go Pray for them and move on with your life. God will provide. Lee Patrick
Marriage is not about what your wife can do for you, it's about what the government and the even the lawyers can do for you hence it's a contract. The real winners sadly are the lawyers.
That's true in the Secular West that's gone nuts. In Islam it's a lot more connected to the understanding of rules and roles within Islam what is Halal and avoiding what is Haram. Comparing thus it's clear the secular model of marriage is dysfunctional because it's become systematically disintegrated bit by bit over time.
@@susanarsoniadou An alternative to lawyer? Then don't get married if you can't take the heat, or find a jurisdiction that the marriage system is fair if you are willing to travel far. This marriage system needs a full overhaul from top to bottom. If no overhaul happens then marriage will be completely extinct.
My husband had to pay his ex wife a substantial amount of alimony for 5 years even though she had worked thoughout their 20+ year marriage. What’s worse, she had her own business and she made almost as much as he did, which was well into six figure territory. The kids were grown. It was shameful. She didn’t need the money - let’s just say that the division of assets left her set for a very long time - for life if she was was smart. I’m afraid that men need to be aware that having the wife work is definitely not a guarantee that they will avoid alimony.
You just gave another example of why marriage has become a completely useless institution in the 21st century. It is all upside for her and all downside for him.
Marriage is a covenant entered into where promises are made to forsake all others. To have and to hold in all circumstances (richer or poorer, in sickness & in health etc). No mention of happiness. Both spouses ought to set out to please one another but an attitude of service to one another however you feel (rather than expectation of being served) is key. Love is a verb. It is not about supplying or expecting constant entertainment but is about doing what needs to be done. I stay away from mind scientists that do not recognise covenant and therefore start talking about contracts or happiness (highly dependent on desired circumstances/outcomes and selfish motives). Blessed is the man who seeks not the counsel of the ungodly.
Part-time work is the best solution for wives/moms, bec we get to contribute and ease the financial burden for our husband while getting a mental break from boredom of being home every single day.👍
Those of us who are religious, it was UNDERSTOOD and AGREED to, that the marriage bed will not be defiled. Men keep that covenant, women (to our surprise) don't at all. Also, psychiatrists see religion as a personality defect.
Women get tired of their husband. The women get bored quickly and they get the house, land and money. They file because they come out ahead. Very few men file.
If you only tell people what they want to hear, you cannot steer them in the right path. Feelings mean nothing when they are on the wrong path. Simple. Too many people tell people anything to get a deal or favor from people. I hate it.
Excellent video Paul. Between you, the late K.S,. and Psy Hacks I have learned more about modern marriage in the last 4 years than I have in my entire life and I am 38. Appreciate the great content.
I still think talking about view points before going into a marriage really helps, obviously not with just sex but lifestyle, how children are to be raised, culture of the house, chores, bills. I talked to successfully married people who are pushing years and it seems to be the common thing laying out each others differences and how to intertwine them
Women that want to marry need a mindset because , it is not easy but brings a ton of stability mentally , financially, spiritually and as much as women think they know best , we don't , our emotions deceive us constantly however if you trust the Lord and His word , you will overcome the nonsense that comes through your mind , raised by a single mom and I have been married 11 years to my man ,I will never hurt that man , he has been such blessing to my life , women has to stop listening to the media and their feelings
I got divorced back in 2004 at age 30 after a 7 year marriage. I must admit looking back that my marriage failed because I didn’t know myself going into it. If I had a healthy relationship with myself first and took the time to get to know myself, I would have never gotten married in the first place.I refuse to blame my ex-wife for anything.
So you don't think your ex-wife didn't know herself either and also needed to time to get to know herself but instead was perfect and knew how to act in the marriage? I highly doubt it. The reason why marriages last long is when people go through them they evolve, they learn how to interact with each other as they evolve and problem solve and then learn hot to communicate and forgive and be committed despite the issues. When both or either parties aren't willing to work on themselves, work on the relationship, and stick with it during the difficult times, then the marriage will fail.
In an odd way, women are eight when they say "I don't need no man." If you're not dependent in someone, you will lack intimacy with them; actual intimacy not a euphamism for sex. If you ever had someone care for you as an adult when you couldn't yourself, you understand that emotional state.... especially when there is gratitude involved. Gender roles and societal norms can manifest dependencies. But in the west, we are tild that dependencies are bad, self-reliance is good, and there have been no replacement for the cultural dependencies that have been eliminated. We've inadvertently killed off marriage in the west.
Unfortunately, society is screwd. Rising cost of living is a root cause in marital stress and unhappiness. Then one or both parties step out of the marriage and it’s over. Most will have children involved too which is a double whammy as that trauma is passed onto them..
Afternoon salutations Mr. Paul. Great topic and video. I watch this guy once and a while but he seems to try snd walk a fine line between male and female. Sometimes he does it well, while other times he totally misses the mark. Here's what my grandmother said after i quoted mom who said 50/50 on marriage. She told me, Oh no son each must give 100% on each side. If they are only giving half then the marriage is doomed to Fail. Boy was she a smart old lady who had been their done that. You can't replace wisdom gained the hard way, period. Always seek out the oldest person you can find and ask them for their knowledge. Must will be very happy to be share their wisdom and it can make them feel that they still have value. Their wisdom is worth so much more than most people will ever know. Great topic Mr. Paul please keep it up we all need the knowledge you are giving us.
PEOPLE will ONLY DO ..what they WANT to DO!.. YOU MAY INFLUENCE HER.. BUTMM YOU CANNOT CONTROL A PERSON'S DECISIONS.. WITH ACTIONS.. SO IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY EXPECTATIONS, YOU WON'T HAVE ANY DISAPPOINTMENTS..💥👊😎
I am working on a theory to this issue.... One of the reasons I think is because of capitalism and consumerism. Marriage in my opinion is one of the most important and game changing innovation of humanity as it is the smallest unit of any society, the most effective potent group. All different human civilizations and cultures agree with the concept of marriage and the *UNION OF MAN AND WOMAN*. But as we are beginning to see, like "products" and things, people are beginning to see other individuals the same way. "If you don't like the product change it", "if it has issues don't bother working to fix it replace it, there are plenty in the market". Very toxic mentality and it will have ramifications soon, especially in societies and cultures that do not have the government backed support to shoulder the issues that problems that arise and come with broken and disfunctional homes and individuals. So we most sanitize our minds and learn and understand that people are not "replaceable products and items" as marketed by manufacturers and capitalists. People are valuable, the most valuable creation in the vastness of the universe and the very reason there is even a universe. Those who do not understand these concepts should be stayed away from. There are other reasons but the "commodification" and "objectivization" of people is sipping into our conciousness. And we even turn ourselves into objects too as we can see on the internet, but we are not THINGS, we have value, we are value itself.
You couldn’t be more wrong! In the uk we have a great tradition of middle class educated women volunteering… literally acting as the glue of society. Seeing & helping less fortunate people helps them appreciate their lives & husbands. Stop glamourising divorce! Most normal saine women won’t want divorce even if they got 100% of their husbands monies. A husband is a loads loads more than money, companionship, care, protection, help… etc, etc…
The problem with marriage is average dudes are distracted from becoming men by chasing 😺. Average dudes need to strive to become Men. Being male and being a man are 2 totally different existences.
It’s not that difficult. He apparently succeeded. I succeeded. And I know a lot of other people who successfully pulled it off as well. Moving to a country that isn’t a feminist cesspool makes it 10 times easier, of course.
THIS REMINDS ME OF WHEN A MAN WILL DO THE MOST AND PLAY THE ROLE JUST TO *GET WHAT HE WANTS FROM THE WOMAN* Then turn around and don’t like it when a woman makes her mind to do and say as she feels which a lot of times SHE BE EXACTLY RIGHT!🤷🏽♀️🤔 Not that being a right matters in some cases AND IF WE DIDDNT LIE OR PLAY GAMES LIKE CHILDREN AND BEJAVE LIKE ADULTS… We wud get ahead in so many ways I’m relationship😳🤷🏽♀️
Feminist Stephanie Coontz wrote 2 books entitled, The Way We Never Were, and The Way We Really Are. She dispels many of these myths. What annoys me is there appears to be among the Gen XYZers a belief that the 40s-60s were a time when wives stayed home and were happy doing those matronly chores (as men were being the "protector/provider" another myth). It simply isn't true. Life back then was not anything like Leave It To Beaver or Father Knows Best, or Andy Griffith, or Life of Riley, etc..
I’m thinking of a new board game called “Marriageopoly”. You flip for who gets to play the wife. If you get to be the wife and the other player lands on “Divorce Go Directly to Jail “ you get all the houses, hotels and money. Then you ask if they want to play again. BTW you use real money.
It was not long ago women stayed home and looked after the children. Now the world has changed significantly and the marriage is deeply affected as women has become economic agents.
Divorce is really about sustaining her lifestyle. If “they” make $100k married and she only made $50k single, guess who will be expected to make up the difference?
She works gets bored and divorces; she doesn’t work gets bored and divorces you. Feminism, divorce court, selfishness, and sin that’s what it’s all about. Did I mention lawyers and the legal system?
Nothing but respect, you could charge us so much for this wisdom but you do not unless it is private 1on1. I was taught this by my family, other before in the family before us, but this reinforces it. Women, if you think you want your husband to pay all the bills, remind yourself, if he becomes abusive, he will control your finances and you won't have an exit, you might even end up dead before divorce. You better get a job. Simple as that. You need to protect yourself. People change. 19K views but only 1.9k likes, come on people. This man is saving LIVES. 12:33 confirmed and agree. A lot of women will hate this truth, but hey, a lot of people do not like the truth so they want to live in lies.
It all boils down to not knowing and following natural order. A woman should never be head of household and lead a man and men that have agreeable wife rarely get divorced.
For the religious folks, be aware that the bible never condemns polygamy as sin. It is the European interpreters of the bible that did, and even made it illegal and a prisonable offence.
I didn't realize marriage was exclusive to the Christian cult. Last time I checked, religious and non religious people got married, not just Christians. Doesn't seem to be a religious thing, more like a cooperation thing and it's failing because women fail to cooperate. They've been brainwashed by feminism snd social media to only want to receive, never give or exchange.
Marriage is a man made concept, which took off around the industrial revolution, property ownership, your wife being your property and thing, hence the legal document a wedding certificate, weddings are big buisness adds a lot to the economy, you should remember when the slaves started to get married, they were following their slavemasters, originally we never had marriages, once you slept with a woman, that was your wife.
Agreed. Let your wife stay at home while the children are small. When the kids are in daycare or school, they should have something to do with their time. Life is expensive let them work if they want an elevated existence/lifestyle. They will appreciate it and not take it for granted. I agree with the physiologist you can't negotiate trust, growth or attraction. That's why I'm still kind of.. in support of no fault divorce. Do you really want to force someone to stay with you and make your life miserable?
This is why we need to go back to living in harems polygamy works because what one woman will not do another woman will do and that makes desire because they are in competition with each other ain't they got a helping hand and rearing children so they're not overwhelmed and they have communal relationships because they got what they wanted they even have the drama because they got their Sister Wives yes one man for woman multiple women
Modern marriage means nothing today. Any man that considers it, will soon be looked at as a fool. The steps he has to take to protect himself, with no guarantees, have become so extreme and costly indicates how risky the entire institution is for him. For a woman, of course she wants to get married when there are so many incentives that benefit her. If she was forced to accept the same deal men get in divorce how many women would still want to get married? Men already know the answer!
Making her go out and work? What? If a woman has children and wants to raise them, why is that a problem? Raising children and keeping up with the house is not a soft life, I’ve been married to the same person for almost 30 years, and I have not only successfully home educated the children, and I’ve been very happy with how i’ve run the household with my wonderful husband. You can’t put a price on the time and all the connection u make with ur family. And u need quality and quantity of time to do it. U do what u what with ur situations, and if it works for ur family, great. I think women have to make a choice as to how much time they want to spend with children. U can’t wok and raise the children at the same time, don’t play yourself. And if u don’t want to put 100% into it, then sure do ur comprising, Ur choice. If u need the money, yeah, I can see the need to comprise, but make no mistake, u are compromising time with ur children….Women can’t have it all at the same time, although they could at different times of their life. Take it from a successful married woman who stayed married to the same wonderful man with a beautiful family for nearly 30 years. That’s giving it to ya raw.
Basically can't live in one income and have a Proper family life - Purchasing power parity probably decreased by half in the last 70 to 100 years - and then there is Fidelity issue ... from both sides ...
"In the name of God, I, _____, take you, _____, to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death.'' I can not find anything about entertainment and being funny, a therapist, a good lover, or taking care of happiness, Does anyone? There is a simple way of holding a contract together, the one that wants out of it: Lose, lose everything. The only reason you can leave is if she beat you... LOL
The reason is marriage is/was supposed to be about responsibility and loyalty to the other person. For centuries it was really about transfer of funds and producing legitimate offspring. That worked until the mid 20th century. Once women became economically able to support themselves, marriage no longer has any purpose. If a couple wants to be together, why get married?
@@GBU61 In many parts of the world, family is still there for advice and guidance, Why is it that Vietnam has a 0,2% divorce rate and Portugal a stunning 90%, Be together as what, if it's not for life, why have all this fuzz? Why be together and have kids if it's just until the next guy or girl shows up, and there is no other choice than to part it, my rule now is: The one that wants out of the contract signed by both, pays the whole debacle afterward. Happiness is not a legitimate reason for breakups, If you are not happy, do something about it with the partner you already have, it's never a one-way street. How can one part know if it's never communicated before one day and it's over? Good one week and the next out on your broke ass because of feeling unhappy, Is that the logic now?
Matthew 19:6 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. By saying this Christ is saying that law to divorce has been fulfilled and establishing the original law that we are not to divorce. WHEN we are an elect of God HE can never divorce or separate himself from his elect. This phrase "let not man put asunder g5563" means that mankind isn't according to the law of God to separate g5563 the marriage. We see this word separate g5563 used in the context of Christs love which is an eternal love which will never be separated from God in: Romans 8:35-39 35 Who shall SEPARATE g5563 us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to SEPARATE g5563 us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. God first joined man and woman together in a marriage back in Genesis 2:24 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. When he said the two shall be one flesh. This word asunder g5563 is also translated as depart g5563 in: 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, LET NOT THE WIFE DEPART g5563 from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. God created the marriage union and its a reflection of the relationship He has with His elect. Ephesians 5:25 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT; Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. And how did Christ love the church? Christ loved the church {the elect} by forgiving them. Christ died and paid for the sins of his elect (the church). Colossians 1:24 24 Who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for his body's sake, which is the church: It must be pointed out that the church in view is not the corporate external church we see on every corner. It is mankind’s desperately wicked heart in going contrary to the law that there is to be no divorce. Genesis 6:5 5 And GOD saw that the WICKEDNESS OF MAN WAS GREAT IN THE EARTH, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. Jeremiah 17:9 9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Ecclesiastes 9:3 3 This is an evil among all things that are done under the sun, that there is one event unto all: yea, also THE HEART OF THE SONS OF MEN IS FULL OF EVIL, AND MADNESS IS IN THEIR HEART WHILE THEY LIVE, and after that they go to the dead. As we see there’s no need to consult a Psychologist who is very limited in knowledge but God Almighty who is all knowing.
Brother could you please help me understand? Women say they won't have a man that doesn't work or provide for them, but so many wants to be a stay home wife while the man pays for everything. That is expected of a man but a woman thinks if a man does it he is a bum and loser. I am happy to pay all the bills but I sure as he'll am not going to take care of the house. What responsible do women have? Women expect half in a divorce but think it is a travesty if he wants her to pay half the bills. The double standard is incredible but they think it's perfectly normal and the man is a loser if he doesn't go along with it. Women want men to know what the woman wants when the woman doesn't even know what she wants. These so called hints that women give and expect men to read their minds is incredible. Women cheat on men more but they blame their husband for her cheating. My father told me before I got married that when she says I do but it becomes not anymore. Women think that it's perfectly fine to withhold sex but think it's so wrong for a man to cheat after going without for such a long. I hate when women expect everything from a man but when men say what do you bring to the table they get so offended, "I am the table". That is so much hypocrisy b but women think it's perfectly fine. Women drive men away but wonder why men don't want anything to do with them. It has to be the mans fault. I have never seen a woman say it's women's fault when asked the question who's to blame women or men. Women can only see their side and expect men to only care about their side. I would never recommend my son to marry a modern woman. Why does lesbian marriages end in divorce 72% of the time and gay marriages end 18% of the time. Lesbian marriages have the highest physical abuse stats by far. I think women just want to blame men just so they don't have to be accountable. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening and my name is Pete.
The reason why I've been thinking of unsubscribing from this doctors channel is because he usually doesn't call out things like they really are. women want their husbands to be everything, take the Husband Store story for example.
Love your content. Though I don’t think it is good advice to tell married men to get a side piece. Pretty much a guaranteed road to divorce, and STDs. If the wife really wants a sexless marriage even from a “conservative” view that breaks the marriage covenant, and the man would be better off to not stay in that situation (and no, I am not saying if a guy has a sexless week that he should leave).
Out of context this sentence doesn't make much sense. "Sometimes it's better to negotiate with someone who's on more equal footing than you". Relative to what? Why are you having to negotiate? If you choose a partner who's on equal footing you don't have to involve a third person. Have you heard about the three body problem, talking about 3 planets who's points of gravity affect one another? Nasa says you can calculate how two planets will work together, but once you throw in a third planet it's chaos. So what about two people in a long term relationship + 1? The third wheel could be a friend... could be a therapist... someone who's influence can throw off the harmony of your relationship. So if what's being encouraged here is to have a third person in the relationship, maybe as a mediator, ask yourself why you need that role to be played. Maybe you and your partner don't get along because you're two very different people. Why keep that going? Is money always the reason we have to accept prison and slavery?
Both need to work! Don't be stupid trying to be the man by working and paying all the bills! You are setting yourself up to get played. And you don't have to be rich!
One word why man and woman get a divorce , CHOICE . I was married for 30 yrs one income soul provider a wife six kids three boys and three girls all by us if a couple got married and couldn't get a divorce then there would be no divorces 😊
... THIS MAN is starting to ' believe ' ,..his Own ' publicity '.. He is getting Very,..( Complacent )..and Very ' Comfortable ',... And VERY,..' familiar ",... LIKE..." Kevin Samuels ":... 'Nuff Said '....😮?)
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@@askanolderman . NEXT time don't tell me,.." I need to"...I don't work for you....! 😔... your ' choice ' Of word's are incorrect and inappropriate.... WE are not In..' Dubai '....?
Gentlemen, don’t bother getting married o in a marriage-like relationship. there’s a huge downside in doing so..In this day and age marriage is almost 100 doomed to fail. Please do your research, don’t go blind minded looking around for a temporary relief that more than likely is going to destroy you and whatever is your purpose in this life.. Do your job, don’t be a fool ‘
Disrespect, Selfishness, entitlement, sense of delusion, greed, lack of compromise and understanding for the other are all contributing factors. Cheating can fall under selfish and disrespect
Fact
To my point
This may be true; however, both parties must take responsibility for their role in the marriage failing. I have found that 99.98% of the time, the man or the woman usually shows you who they are, and one tends to ignore the sign or really believe that the person will change . It never works if you are entering thinking you can change the other person. One needs to learn how to love the person standing in front of them despite their faults.
Sin, Sinning is the sum everything you said perfectly
The couple must be INTENTIONAL in keeping their marriage going. Both must be doing their parts. Once one partner stops or becomes uninterested, the marriage is over even if divorce is not filed. If someone doesn’t want you anymore, pls pls don’t beg, don’t persuade, don’t get mad, just move on with your life because you CANNOT make anyone to be with you.
You said it. If someone no longer wants you in their life, they will not treat you the way God says. The marriage has run it's course. Trust God, let her go. Cut your losses and let them go
Pray for them and move on with your life.
God will provide.
Lee Patrick
Marriage is not about what your wife can do for you, it's about what the government and the even the lawyers can do for you hence it's a contract. The real winners sadly are the lawyers.
That's true in the Secular West that's gone nuts. In Islam it's a lot more connected to the understanding of rules and roles within Islam what is Halal and avoiding what is Haram. Comparing thus it's clear the secular model of marriage is dysfunctional because it's become systematically disintegrated bit by bit over time.
The women are winners too as many get good cash payouts and assets.
The government or courts make money, too.
Do you have a better alternative to lawyer?
@@susanarsoniadou An alternative to lawyer? Then don't get married if you can't take the heat, or find a jurisdiction that the marriage system is fair if you are willing to travel far. This marriage system needs a full overhaul from top to bottom. If no overhaul happens then marriage will be completely extinct.
My husband had to pay his ex wife a substantial amount of alimony for 5 years even though she had worked thoughout their 20+ year marriage. What’s worse, she had her own business and she made almost as much as he did, which was well into six figure territory. The kids were grown. It was shameful. She didn’t need the money - let’s just say that the division of assets left her set for a very long time - for life if she was was smart. I’m afraid that men need to be aware that having the wife work is definitely not a guarantee that they will avoid alimony.
And he was dumb enough to remarry smh maybe when you inevitably divorce him he’ll learn
And you get the rest!
You just gave another example of why marriage has become a completely useless institution in the 21st century. It is all upside for her and all downside for him.
@@GBU61Unless and until the divorce laws change, I agree with you.
Thats just not right!
Marriage is a covenant entered into where promises are made to forsake all others. To have and to hold in all circumstances (richer or poorer, in sickness & in health etc). No mention of happiness. Both spouses ought to set out to please one another but an attitude of service to one another however you feel (rather than expectation of being served) is key. Love is a verb. It is not about supplying or expecting constant entertainment but is about doing what needs to be done. I stay away from mind scientists that do not recognise covenant and therefore start talking about contracts or happiness (highly dependent on desired circumstances/outcomes and selfish motives). Blessed is the man who seeks not the counsel of the ungodly.
Amen to that!
Part-time work is the best solution for wives/moms, bec we get to contribute and ease the financial burden for our husband while getting a mental break from boredom of being home every single day.👍
Those of us who are religious, it was UNDERSTOOD and AGREED to, that the marriage bed will not be defiled. Men keep that covenant, women (to our surprise) don't at all. Also, psychiatrists see religion as a personality defect.
Women get tired of their husband. The women get bored quickly and they get the house, land and money. They file because they come out ahead. Very few men file.
I love the Combination or Dr. Taraban and Paul dropping knowledge!
I prefer lemon drops.
Married people need to get help from other married people who can be objective
Court systems and government negative approach towards men needs to change. That's where the problem is, let's stop hiding by the thumb.
If you only tell people what they want to hear, you cannot steer them in the right path. Feelings mean nothing when they are on the wrong path. Simple. Too many people tell people anything to get a deal or favor from people. I hate it.
Excellent video Paul. Between you, the late K.S,. and Psy Hacks I have learned more about modern marriage in the last 4 years than I have in my entire life and I am 38. Appreciate the great content.
I still think talking about view points before going into a marriage really helps, obviously not with just sex but lifestyle, how children are to be raised, culture of the house, chores, bills.
I talked to successfully married people who are pushing years and it seems to be the common thing laying out each others differences and how to intertwine them
Let's keep this old man busy ask all the Questions 😂
Women that want to marry need a mindset because , it is not easy but brings a ton of stability mentally , financially, spiritually and as much as women think they know best , we don't , our emotions deceive us constantly however if you trust the Lord and His word , you will overcome the nonsense that comes through your mind , raised by a single mom and I have been married 11 years to my man ,I will never hurt that man , he has been such blessing to my life , women has to stop listening to the media and their feelings
You putting the link in the description was big up! Appreciate it!
I think it's important that first part where the guy talked about how marriage has become too many things and we don't live in communities anymore.
A single income household is virtually impossible now. So having a sahm is disappearing quickly
I got divorced back in 2004 at age 30 after a 7 year marriage. I must admit looking back that my marriage failed because I didn’t know myself going into it. If I had a healthy relationship with myself first and took the time to get to know myself, I would have never gotten married in the first place.I refuse to blame my ex-wife for anything.
So you don't think your ex-wife didn't know herself either and also needed to time to get to know herself but instead was perfect and knew how to act in the marriage? I highly doubt it. The reason why marriages last long is when people go through them they evolve, they learn how to interact with each other as they evolve and problem solve and then learn hot to communicate and forgive and be committed despite the issues. When both or either parties aren't willing to work on themselves, work on the relationship, and stick with it during the difficult times, then the marriage will fail.
There are two reasons why marriages fail pride and selfishness
In an odd way, women are eight when they say "I don't need no man."
If you're not dependent in someone, you will lack intimacy with them; actual intimacy not a euphamism for sex. If you ever had someone care for you as an adult when you couldn't yourself, you understand that emotional state.... especially when there is gratitude involved. Gender roles and societal norms can manifest dependencies. But in the west, we are tild that dependencies are bad, self-reliance is good, and there have been no replacement for the cultural dependencies that have been eliminated. We've inadvertently killed off marriage in the west.
I am on a flight to Hong Kong but I never miss an episode. Thank you for great topics.
Glad you like them!😁👊🏾 Safe travels 👍🏾
I think Jeff Dunham's Bubba J said it best when he compared traffic in L.A. to marriage: "Yer only stuck in it because there was an accident!"
Sounds like Charlotte 😹😹 I like that analogy 👌🏾
Your content on marriage is SPOT on brother.
Unfortunately, society is screwd. Rising cost of living is a root cause in marital stress and unhappiness.
Then one or both parties step out of the marriage and it’s over.
Most will have children involved too which is a double whammy as that trauma is passed onto them..
Great Message again sir- Some of this hits home for and explains a lot. Thank You
Very welcome
Afternoon salutations Mr. Paul. Great topic and video. I watch this guy once and a while but he seems to try snd walk a fine line between male and female. Sometimes he does it well, while other times he totally misses the mark.
Here's what my grandmother said after i quoted mom who said 50/50 on marriage. She told me, Oh no son each must give 100% on each side. If they are only giving half then the marriage is doomed to Fail. Boy was she a smart old lady who had been their done that. You can't replace wisdom gained the hard way, period. Always seek out the oldest person you can find and ask them for their knowledge. Must will be very happy to be share their wisdom and it can make them feel that they still have value. Their wisdom is worth so much more than most people will ever know.
Great topic Mr. Paul please keep it up we all need the knowledge you are giving us.
PEOPLE will ONLY DO ..what they WANT to DO!..
YOU MAY INFLUENCE HER.. BUTMM YOU CANNOT CONTROL A PERSON'S DECISIONS.. WITH ACTIONS.. SO IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY EXPECTATIONS, YOU WON'T HAVE ANY DISAPPOINTMENTS..💥👊😎
I am working on a theory to this issue....
One of the reasons I think is because of capitalism and consumerism. Marriage in my opinion is one of the most important and game changing innovation of humanity as it is the smallest unit of any society, the most effective potent group. All different human civilizations and cultures agree with the concept of marriage and the *UNION OF MAN AND WOMAN*.
But as we are beginning to see, like "products" and things, people are beginning to see other individuals the same way. "If you don't like the product change it", "if it has issues don't bother working to fix it replace it, there are plenty in the market". Very toxic mentality and it will have ramifications soon, especially in societies and cultures that do not have the government backed support to shoulder the issues that problems that arise and come with broken and disfunctional homes and individuals.
So we most sanitize our minds and learn and understand that people are not "replaceable products and items" as marketed by manufacturers and capitalists. People are valuable, the most valuable creation in the vastness of the universe and the very reason there is even a universe. Those who do not understand these concepts should be stayed away from.
There are other reasons but the "commodification" and "objectivization" of people is sipping into our conciousness. And we even turn ourselves into objects too as we can see on the internet, but we are not THINGS, we have value, we are value itself.
You couldn’t be more wrong!
In the uk we have a great tradition of middle class educated women volunteering… literally acting as the glue of society. Seeing & helping less fortunate people helps them appreciate their lives & husbands.
Stop glamourising divorce!
Most normal saine women won’t want divorce even if they got 100% of their husbands monies. A husband is a loads loads more than money, companionship, care, protection, help… etc, etc…
Taking notes 📝 thank you Mrs. C 💯
Knowledge supports growth.
Good content as always ..I as well like this guys he bring a different perspective on marriages and how to maintain a productive marriage 👍
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for your explicit explanation rlly appreciated🙏🏻
SOCIAL MEDIA IS THE PROBLEM 🤔😏
This conversation is rich with knowledge.
“Thank You!” for sharing
❤️🖤💚
I like to suggest watch the guide to the married man it's a old movie classic you will love it Paul .
Preach the truth paul my brother Preach.
The problem with marriage is average dudes are distracted from becoming men by chasing 😺. Average dudes need to strive to become Men. Being male and being a man are 2 totally different existences.
I have a traditional wife. She's a stay at home wife and does all her marital duties and allows me to do my job as a man
What percentage of the population is able to do that? Congrats to you but it is not realistic for a majority of the population.
@@GBU61 It’s very realistic. Live within your means and it’s not that difficult. It’s mandatory if you want a decent wife and kids.
Are you a time traveler from the 1950’s.
It’s not that difficult. He apparently succeeded. I succeeded. And I know a lot of other people who successfully pulled it off as well. Moving to a country that isn’t a feminist cesspool makes it 10 times easier, of course.
WOW SOMEONE GOT THE GOLDEN TICKET! How about provide us with absolute proof that we can use to verify your claim. It's time to put up or shut up bruh!
Well I live the old style with my wife, I'm the only one working, and I think it is the best way, many years together, and we are happy like this.
👌🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾Keep teaching Paul!
You got it!😁
THIS REMINDS ME OF
WHEN A MAN WILL DO THE MOST AND PLAY THE ROLE JUST TO
*GET WHAT HE WANTS FROM THE WOMAN*
Then turn around and don’t like it when a woman makes her mind to do and say as she feels which a lot of times SHE BE EXACTLY RIGHT!🤷🏽♀️🤔
Not that being a right matters in some cases AND
IF WE DIDDNT LIE OR PLAY GAMES LIKE CHILDREN AND BEJAVE LIKE
ADULTS…
We wud get ahead in so many ways I’m relationship😳🤷🏽♀️
Marriages fail, because it needs two to create one and only one to cancel🎉
Many many many reasons. And yet for one reason.
First 😅 Hey Paul. Cheers from Trinidad 🇹🇹
If women don't like it, you know what they do !!!
Feminist Stephanie Coontz wrote 2 books entitled, The Way We Never Were, and The Way We Really Are. She dispels many of these myths. What annoys me is there appears to be among the Gen XYZers a belief that the 40s-60s were a time when wives stayed home and were happy doing those matronly chores (as men were being the "protector/provider" another myth). It simply isn't true. Life back then was not anything like Leave It To Beaver or Father Knows Best, or Andy Griffith, or Life of Riley, etc..
one word, narcissism.
The Older Jamaican Man from a fellow Jamaica 🇯🇲
Mobay here..
@@lawrencedavidson6195 Big up Mobay Man 🇯🇲
@@TheguysfromPortmore Respec
Mandeville here
I’m thinking of a new board game called “Marriageopoly”. You flip for who gets to play the wife. If you get to be the wife and the other player lands on “Divorce Go Directly to Jail “ you get all the houses, hotels and money. Then you ask if they want to play again. BTW you use real money.
@older man,you are glittering, I have not watched your video for days
Alderman, thank you. We love you greatly.
Brilliant as usual.
It was not long ago women stayed home and looked after the children. Now the world has changed significantly and the marriage is deeply affected as women has become economic agents.
Just because she has a job doesn't mean alimony is not paid. It depends on her education and work experience. How much does she make compared to him?
Alimony will be paid if there is a disparity of income. So if he makes $80k and she makes $40k he’ll still end up paying alimony on the difference
Divorce is really about sustaining her lifestyle. If “they” make $100k married and she only made $50k single, guess who will be expected to make up the difference?
She works gets bored and divorces; she doesn’t work gets bored and divorces you. Feminism, divorce court, selfishness, and sin that’s what it’s all about. Did I mention lawyers and the legal system?
This is life changing knowledge.
Nothing but respect, you could charge us so much for this wisdom but you do not unless it is private 1on1. I was taught this by my family, other before in the family before us, but this reinforces it. Women, if you think you want your husband to pay all the bills, remind yourself, if he becomes abusive, he will control your finances and you won't have an exit, you might even end up dead before divorce.
You better get a job. Simple as that. You need to protect yourself. People change.
19K views but only 1.9k likes, come on people. This man is saving LIVES.
12:33 confirmed and agree. A lot of women will hate this truth, but hey, a lot of people do not like the truth so they want to live in lies.
😂😂
This Man descriptions nd analogies!🤦🏽♂️
It all boils down to not knowing and following natural order. A woman should never be head of household and lead a man and men that have agreeable wife rarely get divorced.
For the religious folks, be aware that the bible never condemns polygamy as sin. It is the European interpreters of the bible that did, and even made it illegal and a prisonable offence.
You correct. The ratio of women to men in the world proves this.
Marriages are failing because we don't have Father God Lord Jesus Christ at the head of it. keep up the Lords work, Old head.
I didn't realize marriage was exclusive to the Christian cult. Last time I checked, religious and non religious people got married, not just Christians. Doesn't seem to be a religious thing, more like a cooperation thing and it's failing because women fail to cooperate. They've been brainwashed by feminism snd social media to only want to receive, never give or exchange.
Marriage is a man made concept, which took off around the industrial revolution, property ownership, your wife being your property and thing, hence the legal document a wedding certificate, weddings are big buisness adds a lot to the economy, you should remember when the slaves started to get married, they were following their slavemasters, originally we never had marriages, once you slept with a woman, that was your wife.
Agreed. Let your wife stay at home while the children are small. When the kids are in daycare or school, they should have something to do with their time. Life is expensive let them work if they want an elevated existence/lifestyle. They will appreciate it and not take it for granted. I agree with the physiologist you can't negotiate trust, growth or attraction. That's why I'm still kind of.. in support of no fault divorce. Do you really want to force someone to stay with you and make your life miserable?
This is why we need to go back to living in harems polygamy works because what one woman will not do another woman will do and that makes desire because they are in competition with each other ain't they got a helping hand and rearing children so they're not overwhelmed and they have communal relationships because they got what they wanted they even have the drama because they got their Sister Wives yes one man for woman multiple women
That's why you should never complete the Honey-Do-List
I am looking for a lost episode, when Andrew Tate was talking bout 5 guys chatting about ice cream
Modern marriage means nothing today. Any man that considers it, will soon be looked at as a fool. The steps he has to take to protect himself, with no guarantees, have become so extreme and costly indicates how risky the entire institution is for him. For a woman, of course she wants to get married when there are so many incentives that benefit her. If she was forced to accept the same deal men get in divorce how many women would still want to get married? Men already know the answer!
I’ve seen Orion Taraban before. I find it hard to believe that’s his real name. Was his mother an astronomer?
You can’t negotiate enthusiasm !!
Thank you.
Making her go out and work? What? If a woman has children and wants to raise them, why is that a problem? Raising children and keeping up with the house is not a soft life, I’ve been married to the same person for almost 30 years, and I have not only successfully home educated the children, and I’ve been very happy with how i’ve run the household with my wonderful husband. You can’t put a price on the time and all the connection u make with ur family. And u need quality and quantity of time to do it.
U do what u what with ur situations, and if it works for ur family, great. I think women have to make a choice as to how much time they want to spend with children. U can’t wok and raise the children at the same time, don’t play yourself. And if u don’t want to put 100% into it, then sure do ur comprising, Ur choice. If u need the money, yeah, I can see the need to comprise, but make no mistake, u are compromising time with ur children….Women can’t have it all at the same time, although they could at different times of their life. Take it from a successful married woman who stayed married to the same wonderful man with a beautiful family for nearly 30 years. That’s giving it to ya raw.
Basically can't live in one income and have a Proper family life - Purchasing power parity probably decreased by half in the last 70 to 100 years - and then there is Fidelity issue ... from both sides ...
"In the name of God, I, _____, take you, _____, to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death.'' I can not find anything about entertainment and being funny, a therapist, a good lover, or taking care of happiness, Does anyone? There is a simple way of holding a contract together, the one that wants out of it: Lose, lose everything. The only reason you can leave is if she beat you... LOL
The reason is marriage is/was supposed to be about responsibility and loyalty to the other person. For centuries it was really about transfer of funds and producing legitimate offspring. That worked until the mid 20th century. Once women became economically able to support themselves, marriage no longer has any purpose. If a couple wants to be together, why get married?
@@GBU61 In many parts of the world, family is still there for advice and guidance, Why is it that Vietnam has a 0,2% divorce rate and Portugal a stunning 90%, Be together as what, if it's not for life, why have all this fuzz? Why be together and have kids if it's just until the next guy or girl shows up, and there is no other choice than to part it, my rule now is: The one that wants out of the contract signed by both, pays the whole debacle afterward. Happiness is not a legitimate reason for breakups, If you are not happy, do something about it with the partner you already have, it's never a one-way street. How can one part know if it's never communicated before one day and it's over? Good one week and the next out on your broke ass because of feeling unhappy, Is that the logic now?
6 figures, 6 foot tall, 6 pack. Yes women want a 666 man. which is all unrealistic .
It is not! The only problem is: they need to share this man. And he will never ever commit😂
Matthew 19:6
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
By saying this Christ is saying that law to divorce has been fulfilled and establishing the original law that we are not to divorce. WHEN we are an elect of God HE can never divorce or separate himself from his elect. This phrase "let not man put asunder g5563" means that mankind isn't according to the law of God to separate g5563 the marriage. We see this word separate g5563 used in the context of Christs love which is an eternal love which will never be separated from God in:
Romans 8:35-39
35 Who shall SEPARATE g5563 us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to SEPARATE g5563 us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
God first joined man and woman together in a marriage back in
Genesis 2:24
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
When he said the two shall be one flesh. This word asunder g5563 is also translated as depart g5563 in:
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, LET NOT THE WIFE DEPART g5563 from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
God created the marriage union and its a reflection of the relationship He has with His elect.
Ephesians 5:25
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT;
Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. And how did Christ love the church? Christ loved the church {the elect} by forgiving them. Christ died and paid for the sins of his elect (the church).
Colossians 1:24
24 Who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for his body's sake, which is the church:
It must be pointed out that the church in view is not the corporate external church we see on every corner. It is mankind’s desperately wicked heart in going contrary to the law that there is to be no divorce.
Genesis 6:5
5 And GOD saw that the WICKEDNESS OF MAN WAS GREAT IN THE EARTH, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
Jeremiah 17:9
9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
Ecclesiastes 9:3
3 This is an evil among all things that are done under the sun, that there is one event unto all: yea, also THE HEART OF THE SONS OF MEN IS FULL OF EVIL, AND MADNESS IS IN THEIR HEART WHILE THEY LIVE, and after that they go to the dead.
As we see there’s no need to consult a Psychologist who is very limited in knowledge but God Almighty who is all knowing.
Hello Dr. Paul ! School is in session ! 😊😂
Brother could you please help me understand? Women say they won't have a man that doesn't work or provide for them, but so many wants to be a stay home wife while the man pays for everything. That is expected of a man but a woman thinks if a man does it he is a bum and loser. I am happy to pay all the bills but I sure as he'll am not going to take care of the house. What responsible do women have? Women expect half in a divorce but think it is a travesty if he wants her to pay half the bills. The double standard is incredible but they think it's perfectly normal and the man is a loser if he doesn't go along with it. Women want men to know what the woman wants when the woman doesn't even know what she wants. These so called hints that women give and expect men to read their minds is incredible. Women cheat on men more but they blame their husband for her cheating. My father told me before I got married that when she says I do but it becomes not anymore. Women think that it's perfectly fine to withhold sex but think it's so wrong for a man to cheat after going without for such a long. I hate when women expect everything from a man but when men say what do you bring to the table they get so offended, "I am the table". That is so much hypocrisy b but women think it's perfectly fine. Women drive men away but wonder why men don't want anything to do with them. It has to be the mans fault. I have never seen a woman say it's women's fault when asked the question who's to blame women or men. Women can only see their side and expect men to only care about their side. I would never recommend my son to marry a modern woman. Why does lesbian marriages end in divorce 72% of the time and gay marriages end 18% of the time. Lesbian marriages have the highest physical abuse stats by far. I think women just want to blame men just so they don't have to be accountable. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening and my name is Pete.
Yes entertained and as pleased.
That is the secrets for an long marriage and also as being an genuine bastard as many wimen turns hot about them bums.
These days the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.
They fail because women get bored.
The reason why I've been thinking of unsubscribing from this doctors channel is because he usually doesn't call out things like they really are. women want their husbands to be everything, take the Husband Store story for example.
Love your content. Though I don’t think it is good advice to tell married men to get a side piece. Pretty much a guaranteed road to divorce, and STDs. If the wife really wants a sexless marriage even from a “conservative” view that breaks the marriage covenant, and the man would be better off to not stay in that situation (and no, I am not saying if a guy has a sexless week that he should leave).
Out of context this sentence doesn't make much sense.
"Sometimes it's better to negotiate with someone who's on more equal footing than you".
Relative to what?
Why are you having to negotiate?
If you choose a partner who's on equal footing you don't have to involve a third person.
Have you heard about the three body problem, talking about 3 planets who's points of gravity affect one another?
Nasa says you can calculate how two planets will work together, but once you throw in a third planet it's chaos.
So what about two people in a long term relationship + 1?
The third wheel could be a friend... could be a therapist... someone who's influence can throw off the harmony of your relationship.
So if what's being encouraged here is to have a third person in the relationship, maybe as a mediator, ask yourself why you need that role to be played.
Maybe you and your partner don't get along because you're two very different people.
Why keep that going? Is money always the reason we have to accept prison and slavery?
Why bother getting married...look at actor Kurt Russel! Hes been happy for 50yrs now!
Both need to work! Don't be stupid trying to be the man by working and paying all the bills! You are setting yourself up to get played. And you don't have to be rich!
Please know that,.." THIS," older man..." COULD BE MY ' little ' brother...😮
Men list tend to be less for what they want but the female list is 2 time longer 🤣
MAN SUBLIMINAL CHASTÌTŶBET WEAPON
One word why man and woman get a divorce , CHOICE . I was married for 30 yrs one income soul provider a wife six kids three boys and three girls all by us if a couple got married and couldn't get a divorce then there would be no divorces 😊
Women would not say that marriage is a failure $$$$$$
... THIS MAN is starting to ' believe ' ,..his Own ' publicity '..
He is getting Very,..( Complacent )..and Very ' Comfortable ',... And VERY,..' familiar ",... LIKE..." Kevin Samuels ":... 'Nuff Said '....😮?)
You need to clarify this statement Boss, I am confused 🤔
@@askanolderman BREDDRIN know THAT.... YOU are alienating yourself from the humblest of opinion... ladies ( WILL ) BE
' offended ' ,... even if)) you are TOTALLY,... TELLIN' the truth...
Be gentle... AND ( very ) kind
With your delivery... OMMITING
Curse words ,..' Shit ' etc...be..
' Humble ' ,... AND,..' Conservative '..
I am 63 years old and I am a Hairdresser,..by trade... "Madison Avenue" breddah...and my parents are " Jamaican"...? ( WE) LOVE ' fat GYAL ' ,..Mumppie '..( obese ) WOMEN... anything above ..forty percent ' BMI ',...???!!!... plus...I AM A
" Fashion EXPERT and Guru ' ... EVERY top designer KNOWS my
FACE..from the ' 550' building on
7th avenue in NYC.. My ex girlfriend founded" DONNA KAREN INT'L "
FORTY YEARS AGO AT " ANN KLINE "... BREDDRIN' TRUSSMI I KNOW
WOT I AM SAYING... JUSS' ' GO EASY ' ,..BE ( KIND ) LOVING AND
VERY...' GENTLE ' WITH YOUR
DELIVERY... FURTHER MORE..
MY EX WIFE...' GERMAN AMERICAN '
WAS AN LCSW(R)...( PSYCHOLOGIST) HER DAD " DR : BRAUN WAS A PSYCHIATRIST...
,.. PLEASE AS A ' BREDDRIN '..
,...' SOFTEN ' AND BE GENTLE...
DO NOT ' ALIENATE ' ANYONE
THAT MIGHT ,..)) WANT TO
SEEK YOUR,..' COUNCIL OR GUIDANCE ',... I HAVE NOT
' TAUGHT ' YOU ANYTHING
THAT YOU ALREADY DID NOT KNOW....BLESSUPMibreddah!
JAH RASTAFARi... SELASSIE ( ' I ' ).
@@askanolderman . NEXT time don't tell me,.." I need to"...I don't work for you....! 😔... your ' choice '
Of word's are incorrect and inappropriate.... WE are not
In..' Dubai '....?
@@askanolderman your like my
,..." Little Brother",...
,..bin watchin' your video's... AT
THIS point...Yu needed ' a ' CHECK '
RUDE BWOY.... LoL 😉
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The reason why marriage fails is because of women delusions of infinite options.
Date and goodbye is the answer.
Marriage is not for everyone.
Work on yourself
Improve yourself
Invest in yourself
Oldeeey
Fantastic information
Best in RUclips
Freeeee fantastic life changing information
MUCH appreciated
Glad it was helpful!
Gentlemen, don’t bother getting married o in a marriage-like relationship. there’s a huge downside in doing so..In this day and age marriage is almost 100 doomed to fail. Please do your research, don’t go blind minded looking around for a temporary relief that more than likely is going to destroy you and whatever is your purpose in this life.. Do your job, don’t be a fool ‘
One word, WOMEN