What's Up With Buddhist Celibacy?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 27 июл 2024
- This Q&A episode will tackle a few viewers' questions including one about celibacy in monastic Buddhist practice. We'll also consider questions about a regular exercise routine and how Buddhism might help with mild depression.
Check out my Patreon page at / dougsseculardharma
Sutta mentioned:
Alagaddūpama Sutta (MN 22): suttacentral.net/mn22/en/bodhi
Thanks to Patrons:
Matthew Smith
Kathy Voldstad
#dougsdharma #dougsseculardharma #buddhism #secularbuddhism
-----------------------------
Please visit the Secular Buddhist Association webpage!
secularbuddhism.org/
This is one of the best buddhist channels on RUclips.
Thanks for the kind words WML0418. Glad you are finding it useful. 🙏
Yes yes yes.
I would like to address your comments on depression. It is absolutely true that major depression is a debilitating disease, and should be treated. I have suffered from: PTSD, ADHD, major depression, and an anxiety disorder. I have been hospitalized for depression several times in my life. And I have benefited from modern medications and therapy.
What I want to add to that is that it was a hospitalization that led me originally to a Buddhist counselor, who introduced me to basic Buddhist psychological teachings and basic meditation techniques. Since then my life has, slowly but surely, gotten better, day by day. Meditation is a highly effective way to bring one's anxiety level down to a very low baseline. Less anxiety, for me, has meant no more hospitalizations (for 8 years, now) and I am also no longer taking medication, and only rarely see a therapist.
I give meditation practices and my studies of Buddhism the credit. The Dharma is the foundation of my life, and my life right now is comfortable and creative. I am tremendously grateful for the Buddha's teachings.
Gassho, _/\_
Tricia
Thanks Tricia, that's great to hear! Be well. 🙏
I have the same experience with depression and medication as you Tricia, and for me also meeting buddhism and having a daily meditation practice has changed my life totally. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Tricia, my story is similar to yours, except that I added longterm injecting drug abuse--heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine--to self-medicate the way I felt. I simply could not stay clean due to the way I felt and thought. Finally, I met a great psychiatrist in a dual diagnosis program who took the time to not just throw medication at me, but stick with it long enough to get a regimen that worked. Over time I've struggled but have been stable and sober for over 10 years, still on one anti-depressant, but have gone off my other two psych meds.
I began practicing Zen 6 months to a year ago, and it's helping quite a bit. I've been able to get off my opiate substitution medication for a year and a half and hope to get off my last med within this year. I've found this site to be really helpful, especially as I'm disabled physically and don't get around too well, so most of my input comes through the computer. I do have a teacher that I see once every week or two. And I work the 12 steps, using Buddha as a loving teacher, not a deity, as my 'higher power.' In gassho!
@@sherryburrows2252 That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you! My brother just died from drug addiction, so it means a lot to know you found something helpful. It also gives me hope for myself. Thank you. Blessings! ✨❤️✨
I have a long history of very severe depression, much of it aided and abetted by doctors and pharmaceuticals. It took me seven years of trying to finally come off antidepressants. That was absolute hell. Even tapering off ever so slowly did not do much to alleviate the suffering. The state of the art is that the brain is yet poorly understood and antidepressants and the monoamine hypothesis of depression are a simplistic shot in the dark. If only it were more advanced! But it's not. Meditation has been the single biggest contributor to my continued sense of well-being. Nothing in my life has made such a lasting dent in depression as daily practice.
Yes Dan, many of these mental illnesses like severe depression are well beyond modern understanding at this point. It’s wonderful news that meditation helps you deal with your symptoms! Be well. 🙏
Great to hear that meditation helped a person.. But could you tell what meditation technique you follow, breathing or something else??
@@gkk2215 Attention to the breathing, yes. I try to count to ten breaths without getting snagged by thought. As thoughts arise, gently label them and then let them go, returning to the breath. But not counting or labeling too dilligently either, as counting and naming things too hard becomes another snag. It's difficult at first, but eventually there is a stillness, a light sensation, peaceful calm with each breath. Also, to the extent that I do actively use mind, I like to start off a session prayerfully, drawing attention to the most important intentions, a kind of dedication of the session, ritualistically. Ring a bell, light some incense, that kind of thing, set some ambience. But then I get lost in all that--and get fidgety about the position I'm in too. But just back to the breath and simple noticing. I really like Joseph Goldstein's concept of "NPMs, or Noticings Per Minute". Finally, in all of that, I try to use language and the mind to snap out of self-reference, saying aloud such mumbo jumbo as "This ever-fluctuating collection of psycho-physical constituents is now sitting and introspecting this very collection" or any kind of language and tgought focused on flipping the usual locus of self to the third person.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I found that meditation helped with the depression but it did not stop nor abate the depressive thoughts. However, with the help of pharmaceuticals i have not been depressed for sometime, i think that it is different for each person.
I'm practicing Buddhist monastic celibacy. For me, It offers the lightness, freedom and clarity of the mind.
Actually in the Buddhist countries that monastics exist, people don't feel it's unnatural to become celibate because many examples of those who can do that and live their lives happily are there. Of course celibacy is not for everyone because there are many monks who left it also, but it shows the possibility of such a life.
In modern Western world with a little example of celibate life, instead the sensory stimulation is everywhere. How the people could understand the lightness, the freedom, peace and great space of celibate life?
Thanks for your thoughts Sarada. Yes, although there is a similar example in Catholicism for example, within western life this kind of approach is often considered strange. So long as it is done freely, sincerely, and for the right reasons it can be of benefit.
Sarada thank you for this comment. As someone who has recently had a sexual injury (which probably will not cause me long term problems but is a small possibility I am bracing for), and as someone previously interested in Buddhism, and even celibacy... thank you very much to help me understand that celibacy can be a powerful and positive way of life ...Your comment helps me most of all to realize that just because everyone around me, and so much of what I see in ultra sensory stimulation environments (which I am now trying to distance myself from)... doesn't have celibacy as a possibility... that doesn't make it actually WEIRD or BAD. I do like being a little weird anyway. BUT it's good to know that at least it's not insanely weird. And that in certain cultures it's seen as pretty normal, at least for some people. Thank you again
Are you lay-follower or monk?
A piece of advice for everyone whos struggling with sensual desire: just keep practicing...
And I know it sounds silly right?
Let me share with you my personal experience, I used to struggle a lot trying to control my lust and I used to think that was impossible to eradicate.
Long story short, thanks to the everyday practice(daily meditation and reading of the budas teachings, observing the body and its decay,the danger of samsara, etc).
I just dont have cravings anymore, and at first was really weird even for me to experience such a lack of lust, but my lust its almost completely gone.
So just keep practicing, remember that everything is impermanent! ( tomorrow youll be wiser)
Good luck!
Thanks for your input Esteban. 🙏
Which desire you want to mention?sensual or sexual,if sexual, are you totally free from sexual thoughts?so easily?give me tips,I m still struggling with it but in a less amount than before & MORE positive form.
@@jacksonbarua7574 It was anything BUT easy .
The first tip I would like to give you is : try to not be so harsh on yourself, if you are being honest with yourself and at the same time you put the right effort, then sooner or later you will achieve your goal , so just keep practicing , takes a lot of time ( its something gradual ... for example, right now I`m trying to get rid of the fifth fetter, which if Im not mistaken is "ill-will " , so I just keep up the good practice until its done ).
Now , the second tip : Try to meditate on the physical body , I spent a lot of time meditating on the Women`s Physycal body ( and yes that includes the sexual organs ) .
If I were a surgeon , and if I had to watch and observe a woman (no matter how beautiful she might appear),in such case, would I`ve been excited and full of lust???
If we observe the sexual organs: there`s skin , is the skin beautiful? If I were to have the skin on a table, would I feel lust for the woman`s skin??
Under the skin theres muscles, would I feel lust for the muscles of her body? Would I feel lust for the blood of a womans body??
Through our sexual organs theres urine , excrement , pubic hair and so on...
In other words, our body is it really beatiful?? I dont think so...
I hope this Helps you in your journey friend of mine , if theres anything that I might do for you , just tell me and I would try to help you as much as I can.
I wish you the best of lucks , see you around =) .
Ps: sorry for my broken english, Im not a native ;D
Esteban,I think buddhist struggle with sexual desire for lacking the teaching of right celibacy by the buddha for householder.Esteban,people like us(you & me),who want to be fully celibate can't be fully celibate for only the lame excuse that Buddha hasn’t made strict celibacy for lay.Whenever in my life I want to be fully celibate,then either from other human or from my inner mind, it is told to me that uncelibacy is legal for laity.But I know I can be fully celibate.A close friend of mine is vaishnav, I am totally touched by their philosophy. They are fully celibate,even their lower laity use sex for procreation.I want to practise this,but can't do only for I am a buddhist & my buddhist friend discourage me to do it by saying that it is not middle way,it is a self mortification.
@@jacksonbarua7574 yes, indeed, for lay people is not mandatory, but whats important is what do you want to do, or whats your goal.
.
If you want to achieve arahantship you must get rid of lust.
About self mortification... The struggle is just before you achieve the goal of getting rid of sexual thoughts, once youve done it, there is no more burden, so no, is not an eternal fight.
But then again, I guess this is something imposible to believe, its something you gotta do for your self... Then, youll see...
First of all, thank you Doug. It was very nice to see my whole comment featured on your video. I was impressed by how much time you dedicated to it. It’s not always easy to comment in a language in which I’m not native, I was a bit concerned that my message would come across as rude. Your response was top notch. Maybe in future lives (if they actually happen, since I’m skeptic on Rebirth) I will be a monastic, who knows. For the time being, I’m very happy with my current partner, despite realizing that it will in the end bring suffering aswell. It makes me kind of sad that the Alagaddupama Sutta makes pretty clear that 99% of humanity is bound to suffer and that there is no escape (since humanity in itself can’t take the path of celibacy). I guess buddhism can help lay people reduce their suffering but not escape completely from it, which is already great.
By the way, your arguments regarding sexual abuse were phenomenal. Thank you for making clear that a lay person can also develop a Dharma path without having to renounciate to his or her current life. Sometimes it’s hard for me, because I have a chronic illness which limits my choices quite a bit. That was one of the reasons for which I came to the Buddha’s message. I am trying to be a light unto myself, but learning from wise men and scholars such as yourself is a blessing. I hope you keep doing this content for long time to come.
You’re very welcome poikkiki, thanks for watching and for your important question, and thanks for your kind note. It makes me happy that you found the video useful.
As for suffering, the First Noble Truth makes clear the extent of the problem. It’s endemic to sentience. But even laypeople could attain awakening after having their families, say, if they wished to and put effort into it. This assumes that awakening is a viable option of course. I tend to think of it more as an ideal. But either way it is available to us all. It’s just that it’s easier some ways than others. 🙏
Thank you so much for your videos. I’m new to this channel and it’s already been helping a lot in my life.
You're very welcome! Glad you are finding the material useful. 🙏
Cannot thank you enough. Your videos are always very educational, enlightening, and encouraging. Thanks you also for sharing about your personal life, as I think it may assure others who want to practise Buddhism that living as a layperson is perfectly fine.
You're very welcome Anand, happy to help!
Wow! You did a wonderful job of tackling these difficult topics. Bravo.
Thanks Thomas, glad you found it helpful!
Right as you talked about dealing with change and death a leaf fell behind you. Thank you and blessings 🙏🏼
Ha! That's a funny coincidence, thanks for pointing it out Trevor!
I had severe depression. Doctors didn't help. Psychologists didn't help. The only thing that helped was finally understanding shunyata and anatta. My psychologist dropped me, because I wasn't sick. I grew up with intense abuse from age 3. When he would say things like, imagine a time before....when you were happy, etc. I would say, there was no such time. There was no time I had a good relationship with my parents. There was no time I was okay. It wasn't that bad things happened TO me. I was made submerged in the bad things.
When I finally understood that everything was shunyata and I was anatta, overnight I was cured. I have not been angry or sad ever since. I had severe anxiety and have been hospitalized twice. It was cured overnight. Not only that, I gained almost infinite compassion in daily life. I wake up and smile, I burst out laughing often during the day, full of joy. I highly recommend meditation on those two truths.
Wonderful to hear, I'm so glad these teachings are helping you. 🙏😊
You are an inspiration to me Dough .. Your teachings are close to Ambedkar Buddhist views....
Thanks Gb B, yes his views are often quite interesting!
Seeing (sexual) abuse as a consequence of sexual abstinence is simply wrong view. When you see things as the are, you will realize the act comes from trying to escape the currently present feeling (or from belief that acting upon it will rid you of it). You are being pressured by your craving/desire, not by the abstinence of action - abstaining will just help you see the pressure that you are experiencing due to the craving being present.
Sexuality, or any other sensual pleasure, can easily become a form of addiction just like addiction to drugs (indeed, sensual experiences are just drugs released in the brain). I can see pursuit of these pleasures as "chasing the dragon" in the sense that no matter how many times you engage in them, you will want them again, so it's a neverending treadmill of desire, effort, attainment, temporary satisfaction, then desire again. It's a kind of "rat race" that some people love for as long as they can run the race but other people grow tired of and look for other potentially deeper forms of satisfaction, e.g. peace. Any pursuit of pleasure takes up a lot of time and energy that can be otherwise used for meditation.
Is Watching a lovely scenary a sensual pleasure?
Yes, I'd say it is, by definition, since vision is a sense.
@@jacksonbarua7574 this is a wrong view. There is nothing wrong with feeling good, celibacy is necessary because it is physiologically damaging to self pleasure and to use such power for reasons that were otherwise what it was meant for - procreation.!
@@trillionmindfulintentions2132 "meant for" how do you know that sexual relations are only "meant for" procreation? Many other species have save sexual relations without procreation, why are we special? why should a buddhist believe in a defined reason for a bodily function?
@@trillionmindfulintentions2132 gotta learn how to time management that stuff
Thank you so much, wonderful class. Lotus for you. Evangelina Cortes.
All the best Evangelina. You’re very welcome.
12:13 to the end - is the celibacy part.
Thank you very very much Doug. As someone who has recently had a sexual injury (which probably will not cause me long term problems but is a small possibility I am bracing for), and as someone previously interested in Buddhism, and even celibacy... thank you very much to help me understand that celibacy can be a powerful and positive way of life.
You're very welcome GGG! 🙏
On the subject t of depression, I suffer from clinical depression, and I have to admit that when I’m going through an episode, there’s nothing to really help, I just have to ride it out, BUT!! I have to say, since I’ve started meditation and applying Buddhist philosophy to my daily life, my episodes have been way fewer and farther between. I’ll go as far as to say, I truly believe that the meditation has affected my whole being in the most positive ways. Physically , mentally and spiritually. Where meds couldn’t really help me in the long run, meditation has had a far better effect on me.
Thanks for all the wonderful work you are doing. 🙏☀️
That's great to hear, Vanessa. Thanks, and all the best to you. 🙏😊
Buddhism is for all living beings. We are all unique and different in our own unique way. We cannot become someone else. The important thing is that we live true to ourselves and cause the great self of our lives to blossom.
Well said Michael. 🙏
Great video! Thanks once more for the excellent content, Doug!
You're very welcome JC, thanks for watching! 🙏
Thanks for a well-balanced and down to earth view on celibacy Doug.
People might assume that celibacy is just for monastics, but it can just as well be a viable path for some laypeople too (as you alluded to). Just because one is a lay person doesn’t mean one has to be in a romantic, sexual relationship with all its dukkha (and perhaps some delights too). Most people don’t even realize that one can transcend sexual desire all together and feel the utter freedom that comes from that through Dhamma practice.
I know of laymen who have benefitted a lot from the Buddha’s teachings for the various reasons we’re familiar with, but especially because the Dhamma helped them realize that they had another option in life besides the usual route of relationships, break-ups, heartaches, getting married, having kids, endless responsibilities due to a married householder’s life, etc. Such laymen have also chosen the route of celibacy and transcending their sexual desires through a contemplative lifestyle dedicated to Dhamma practice and enjoying the consequential happiness that comes from this. This might be hard to understand especially in our modern, Hollywoodized society where love and sex have been glamorized as the best thing in life, without which there is not much of a life.
Of course, as Doug mentioned (and the Buddha realized) celibacy is not for everyone, but if undertaken voluntarily and complemented by earnest Dhamma practice, it can yield much spiritual benefit and happiness.
Thanks again for your very insightful videos Doug.
You're very welcome Haca Ce, thanks for watching and for your insightful comment. 🙏
This was top notch
Thanks Alfred, glad you found it useful. 🙏
You have again produced another excellent video. The passage you quote from Majjima Nikaya 22 is a very strong argument against certain Tantric interpretations of Buddha dharma particularly pertaining to sex. I practice vajrayana but I also think it is very helpful to read these older texts in Buddha dharma. “Bhikkhus, that one can engage in sensual pleasures without sensual desires, without perceptions of sensual desire, without thoughts of sensual desire-that is impossible." MN 22.
I think it is an excellent idea for us to expect that Vajrayana and Zen monastics (if they are genuine monastics and not lay practitioners) should adopt at least some of the more strict rules of the vinaya so as to avoid any sexual misconduct. In the case of Vajrayana, I think it is a misunderstanding to think interpret Tantric vows as somehow superseding 'ordinary' pratimoksha vows. There are many great things about Vajrayana and Zen practice, but I think it is good to critique this particular oversight that creates more opportunity for the abuse of students by the leaders of communities.
Food for thought Kevin, thanks!
Great video. Thank you very much!
My pleasure!
Here I suggest an analogy to explain why monastics are to be celibate:
it's the same reason why drivers should not drink (alcohol).
There's nothing wrong with drinking per se, but if you're driving, then you should not be consuming stuff that disrupt your ability to drive.
Similarly, there's nothing wrong with sexual relations per se, but if you're focused on attaining complete mindfulness, then you should not be engaging in activities that disrupt this focus.
The whole point is for Bhikkhus (i.e. the earliest term for Buddhist monks) to be free of distractions.
For that reason, they also avoid: handling money, putting up performances, luxurious accomodations etc etc.
i.e. the traditional Patimokkha as mentioned by Doug.
Exactly so, it’s the same strategy of reducing distractions.
Yes
Thank you so much for this video, it is very educational
You are very welcome, Rudolf! 🙏
Thanks for great content. :-)
My pleasure!
Thank you for clarifying celibacy in Buddhism. I wasn't the person who asked that question, but I wrote something similar in one of your previous videos. It really cleared up the questions that I had about it. I'm still not sold on non-attachment leading to the cessation of dukkha though. As I go through life, I'm starting to realize that I'm happier when I'm craving something than when I'm not craving something and just living life with equanimity. It sounds counter-intuitive, but I can give you some examples of what I'm talking about. When I'm equanimous my mental state is never too high or too low which sounds like a good thing. In reality I actually kind of enjoy the highs and lows of life. I don't really have the desire to be equanimous anymore. That being said, following the principles of Buddhism has gotten me through some extremely difficult times in my life and I would like to thank you for introducing me to Buddhist philosophy. There are certain aspects of Buddhist philosophy such as mindfulness, non-self, impermanence, etc. that I will practice for the rest of my life. I will also continue to watch your videos even though I might not completely agree with every aspect of Buddhist philosophy. It's extremely interesting and I hope more people learn about it.
Great, thanks Afanasi. Yes, find what works for you and practice that. Other aspects may resonate with you at some other point in your life, or may just not be right for you. That's OK too. 🙂
There is a reason why you feel happier when crave and cling to things. It is the biochemistry produced from the neurotransmiters and hormones that gives you the pleasant and unpleasant emotional feelings. The expectance of something pleasant to happen releases more dopamine than the moment you got it. But there are ways to create yourself some happiness through phisical and mental activities. Doug mentionted the purpose of exercise and the meditations, esspecially Metta. There are wonerful lectures for human behaviour from Robert Sapolsky where he speaks a lot about biochemistry and the different ways humans could release stress and feel happy. Greetings!
@@xitsox thanks, Doug and I spoke about this in his anxiety video I believe and he brought up the point that you just made. In response to him I brought up the biological aspects of why people have anxiety such as a neurotransmitter deficiency, a vitamin or mineral deficiency, hormone imbalances, etc. You should check that video out if you haven't already and you can see my response to him. I believe he was also answering my question in that video which is awesome. Doug has really done an amazing job.
@@afanasibushmanov7463 Thanx. I haven't seen it yet, but i will definitely do. The videos are great and the discussions that follow are also very helpful. Greetings :)
I used to feel the same, before I had a good meditation practice. Keep sitting and find a good teacher, and you'll find that the deep peace that results is far superior to any mundane sensation. Hell, even Piti and Jhana are far better than any sex or pizza I've ever had, and those are still inferior to the peace of true equanimity.
Thank you so much for distinguishing mild depression from depression than merits medical attention. I had a very prominent Buddhist teacher who had millions of followers in Asia and advised people with mental health problems not to get medical help but to meditate. I have to wonder how many of his followers followed that advice and ended up committing or attempting suicide. That being said, when I was severely depressed meditation did help.
Right Jon, thanks. Well I think so long as someone with severe depression is getting proper medical attention then doing meditation as well might be an additional help, though it would depend on the case.
On my celibacy journey 😊 I appreciate your wisdom
🙏
Thanks a lot Doug for this frank talk on the delicate issue of celibacy or sexuality. Perhaps it would be good if you could also talk about sense restraint or the skill of mindfully using electronic media like smartphones, TV and the Internet since we are spending more and more time online where we are constantly being exposed to temptations and manipulations.
Yes I do have videos on these topics. See this one on sense restraint: ruclips.net/video/_q8poVPPaPw/видео.html , and this one on dealing with information overload: ruclips.net/video/asP-LoVkOE4/видео.html
Any relationship distracts from the practice of Buddhism or any other practice. You worry about them, have to take care of them and spend time with them. It's like when an employee has children or elders in the family. They can not spend all there time working and the person desires to be with there family so it creates attachments. But a single person with no family is more likely to work all day or in this case, practice there believes. So in my opinion, if you goal is to practice the Buddhist life or any faith or religion or practice, then celibacy makes it easier to practice and has less distractions.
🙏
These videos will have millions of views in 30 years. keep them coming please.
Well thanks for the kind words Fernando, we will see. I would love for them to have a wider audience for sure. Feel free to share them, I will keep making more! 🙂
I would have to add some things about celibacy. When you have a family, you are torn between doing the 'right' thing or the 'best' things for your family. For example, what if your lovely kid is very sick in hospital & you have no money to pay for his treatment. Then you might be 'forced' to steal/rob from others.
His past life of hearing his family and kingdom being slaughtered by other kingdoms could also reinforced his beliefs. Some of his followers encourage him to seek revenges and if he had taken it then it would be the same circle of samsara again.
This is the kind of 'attachment' that one must be aware of before starting a relationship and why many budhist monks choose the path of celibacy.
Certainly having a family gives one a large amount more responsibility that might become a burden. This is part of the problem of attachment that the Buddha discussed. It’s one of the downsides of the householder life, though of course it comes with benefits too.
@@DougsDharma Yeah. Just adding that to your point (which i think is already great!).
But i have to add that because some people who aren't familiar with budhist philosophy see 'being celibath' as "satanic ritual/human depopulation, etc." that must not be done.
I keep hearing of those arguments mostly from the followers of 'abrahamic religions'. In which they keep wanting to see from their lens of view.
I truly hope they want to dig deeper & see from other than their 'linear god driven' perspective :)
Thanku Sir!🤗
🙏
Normally the definition of celibacy is the state of abstaining from marriage & sexual relations.Wrong celibacy is nurturing the physical lust by masturbation,watching others bodily contact,watching others bodily beauty,conversing with others about bodily contact & bodily beauty, wanting own body is enjoyed by others. By removing wrong celibacy, Right Celibacy can be achieved.
It is most important to notice that Buddha NEVER SAID that "life is suffering"...
He said in the first sermon on the noble truths that THERE IS SUFFERING (which in itself is already quite a different perspective...), then numbers a certain amount of situations which can be recognized as "suffering/unsatisfactoriness", such as aging, sickness, death and so on...and what is usually forgotten or at least skipped on and on the contrary MUST BE KEPT IN MIND is that Buddha goes on to say, right after that, that "IN BRIEF, THE FIVE AGGREGATES AFFECTED BY CLINGING IS SUFFERING/UNSATISFACTORINESS ".
So...this is VERY IMPORTANT in order to understand the whole process in the Buddha Dhamma on our way to deliverance from suffering/unsatisfactoriness: that "there is suffering" in life ONLY WHEN the five aggregates are actually affected by clinging. (Ego identification/taking things personally: this is who I am, this is mine, this is my self/ATTĀ)
That is why in practice we go on with the other three noble truths and let go of craving ("origin/cause of suffering/unsatisfactoriness" AND origin/cause of clinging on the twelve links of interdependent origination), and so make an end to suffering/unsatisfactoriness (third and forth truth)...
Well yes Ārya Kśaṇa, the Buddha's discussion of "dukkha" has to be understood as nuanced, as was all his teaching.
I can understand your teachings completely. I choose a path of celibacy 20 yrs ago. But that was a choice. No one forced me in that direction. I'm not the same as l was in my youth. It's a fiction for creation and bonding with a partner as you know. I have no interest in a relationship with a partner.
I do have an interest to grow spiritually. I love people and I love service to help others.
Thanks for your input Margaret!
How can you maintain celibacy for 20 years as a layman.Give me direction,I also want to be celibate for many years but cannot fully be celibate.
I've been in love with celibacy for a long time. I feel I am sorta kindly put down from doing it now, because my partner is an highly sexual human being.
We've been together for 15 years, plus in this home due to pandemic and now I'm tired of sex... it's never really been my thing anyways. Especially with hearing and being consistently told of how good I look, and other used serial terms coming from my partner. I'm really tired out from anything sexual.
I've been ready to focus on becoming more creative. I foresee a possible problem. He's going to find someone else, depending on my celibate journey. And while I know that I am not going to be pressured to give in in case he wants to find another partner, I guess I'm going to have to take the loss. I have to be OK with it. I don't think he's that strong. From experience I know. But of all ppl he should be the main one practicing celibacy. Trust me.
Thanks!
You're very welcome Stan!
Which camera or video editing software do you use? Your videos have this very nice saturation.
I think this video was shot on a G85 and edited on iMovie. If there is interest I might do a video on how I do the videos ...
In Japanese and some Korean Buddhist schools, priests and monastics may marry.
Yes, true! Interesting how Buddhism changes.
brilliant deja vu spot on timing dhamma style
How so Alfred?
On the sexuality issue (and desire generally) I highly recommend Mark Epstein's "Open to Desire". I guess it's more of a left-hand path interpretation, but the idea is that the gap between desire and its frustration, if made the object of meditation, is itself a source of awakening.
Also, I would add (to both this commentary and Epstein's) that, despite the popular presentation of sexual feelings always being tied to relationship (between two people) and objects (which decay), it need not always be so. Erotic feeling can be meditated into, far beyond the surface level sexual manifestation of it, and abstracted (from objects) and purified. Trying to defeat sexual feelings has always seemed like an unhealthy lost cause, but what does not get enough air time is the fact that it is possible to use the sexual feelings as a vehicle, channeling those feelings away from objects into ever more pure states toward awakening. There is, for instance, the possibility of a masturbatory sexuality, in which the sexual feelings are not pursued but rather allowed to arise when they do spontaneously, and in which a meditative mindset is applied in that moment to prevent those feelings from homing in on particular objects (which will eventually decay) and fantasies (which cannot be). When those feelings and sensations are allowed to flow like this, unblocked but skillfully directed, it indeed can lead to a very wholesome state of being which brings to the same state of selfless and compasionate awareness as right-hand techniques (but more wholesomely and powerfully I would argue) . At least that has been the experience here. I would argue that sexual and body shame is universal to humanity as a secondary effect of the emergence of a sense of self and the identification with it (as reflected symbolically in the Garden of Eden myth--for after having become selves by eating the fruit, they became aware of and ashamed of their nakedeness.)
Thanks for your thoughts Dan.
What is the significance of number 108 in Buddhism?
As I’m getting into Buddhism more and more, I find myself scared-scared of a feeling of numbness I suppose. I want to be happy and awakened and all of those things, but I still want to FEEL. I don’t necessarily want to give up my sexual desires or feelings of anger. I kinda wanna feel that stuff just to be a normal human being. I want to still have feelings but just be able to control them through the use of these Buddhist practices... if that makes sense.
Sure! I think we remain laypeople, myself included, because we cling to certain aspects of daily life. And it’s true those aspects can be very pleasant! Though anger in particular can also be very harmful to ourselves and others. It’s only through meditation and insight that we can begin to understand how these are problematic. But we may not see it for a long while, it takes time. There is no forcing it.
The Buddha's path IS leading to happiness and Awakening, but not through restrain of sense faculties. This is about INNER happiness, arising from ones own purity in thoughts. Lust and Anger are considered impure whilst generosity, kindness, humility, equanimity etc are considerd pure. A person endowed with these type of characteristics is certainly not numbed out. Being numbed out is another form of impurity - nothing skilful in that
Hi Doug. Is there enough of a relevance and/or enough relevant information for you to consider doing a video on the interactions between Manichaeism and Buddhism? Or are the links too tenuous in your opinion?
I mean, Manichaean scriptures refer to Mani as a Buddha, so it's not really tenuous so much as proven. There's even a former Manichaean temple in China that has been converted to a Pure Land temple.
@@SonofSethoitae yes I meant tenuous in strong enough of a subject for Doug to consider doing a video. I have only just become aware of Manichaeism, hence the question. 😊
@@patrickcahill4396 Ah, fair enough. I come from a background in Gnosticism and Gnostic-adjacent movements like Manicheanism, so sometimes I forget that other people don't have that experience. Sorry if I condescended you!
@@SonofSethoitae not condescended at all. I am comfortable in the knowledge that I know very little of anything. I do however like to learn 🙏
Hi Patrick and SoS, Manichaeism is not a subject I know a whole lot about. If I find anything interesting and relevant to practice I'll certainly consider doing a video on it. I'd be interested to know what prompted the question. 🙂
Is this a green screen?! It’s soo beautiful!!
Ha! No, it's a bunch of trees. I get outside when the weather allows ... 😄🌲🌲
@@DougsDharma where is this beautiful part of the world?
In the wilds of the great North East. 😀
@@DougsDharma where that great concert took place in the 70s? If it's there, I love it ✌️
I would just like to add something in regards to the question about sexual desire and how the person asking the question said he didn't feel it was productive to "resist." In actuality, this is correct because if you are just living this way, you will live in torment. The goal is not to fight or resist desires but learn to transform them. When you learn to transform sexual desire or any desires, then you are free from it. If you just resist or fight them, you will only suffer more. Buddhism is learning to "Transform" the mind that is full of afflictions to a mind of purity. It is not a practice of resisting, this is very important to understand the difference. Namo Amituofo _/l\_
I don't agree with your comment that you shouldn't listen to everything your Master/teacher tells you. I think you can question it if it doesn't make sense to you and have a dialoge with your Master/Teacher, but you don't take refuge with a Master if you don't fully trust his teaching.
"Freezing to death, we do not scheme.
Starving to death, we do not beg.
Dying of poverty, we ask for nothing.
According with conditions, we do not change.
Not changing, we accord with conditions.
We adhere firmly to our three great principles.
We renounce our lives to do the Buddha's work.
We take the responsibility to mold our own destinies.
We rectify our lives as the Sangha's work.
Encountering specific matters, we understand the principles.
Understanding the principles, we apply them in specific matters.
We carry on the single pulse of the Patriarchs' mind-transmission"
~Venerable Master Hsuan Hua
www/cttbusa.org
Thanks for your thoughts Jing Ri.
Are you familiar with the sacred secretion as it relates to celibacy? From Kundalini in Indian Sanskrit from about 6,000 years ago. There's a fluid generated by your pineal and pituitary gland in the brain which is electromagnetic in nature, and gets released into your cerebral fluid about every 28 days. Sex and alcohol can diminish its effects, which will make chopping wood and carrying water physically and mentally harder - like running cheap gas through a high performance engine.
Samson in the Christian Bible was about a sect of Jews who grew their hair long as a symbol of celibacy - the story highlights the effects of wasting this internal energy. Though why Constantine decided to put this book in the Bible, I still don't understand.
Anyway, love your videos, anybody who makes an attempt at changing the stage of life to the better for others, is to be admired.
Thanks J Norfleet, but sorry, I don’t know anything about that!
Interesting. On a personal level I am 100x more creative and productive when practicing celibacy alongside a strong meditation practice.
I truly believe asceticism is the panacea to modern life. Meditation is the great starting point.
Hi Doug, would you be able talk about homosexuality in buddhism? I'm in a dilemma but will accept anything as long as it's truthful.
Thank you for making these videos.
Hi AN and you're welcome! My main interest is in the early tradition in particular and there's not much of anything to say about it in that tradition. To the best of my knowledge it just isn't mentioned, and doesn't seem to have been an issue or a problem.
We have to always remember that there are 3 stages of understanding in regards to samsara vs. nirvana. Most everyone knows the first two: 1.) The world of Samsara is impermanent, illusory and not the “deepest reality, and 2.) Nirvana is the state in which we can directly experience the deep, unfiltered levels of actual reality. But the third, and arguably the most important, is the samsara IS nirvana. Awakening is not somewhere else, off in the clouds or on a mountain top somewhere. It’s right here, smack dab in the middle of samsara! This is the true bodhisattva realization. The bodhisattva doesn’t disappear into the mountains just because he/she wants to help others , but also because they’ve realized that nirvana is to be found wherever you are, no matter what the circumstances. Married, not married, celibate, sexually active... wherever you are, whatever your circumstances, your life becomes nirvana with the right degree of wisdom and mindfulness! So, next time you take out the garbage, feed the cat or do your taxes, think, “How wonderful, nirvana!”
Thanks Life. This is actually a much later interpretation of nirvana than one finds in the early texts. At some point I'd like to do a historical investigation into this change.
@@DougsDharma Yes, that's definitely a more Mahayana/Zen way of looking at the situation, the whole bodhisattva ideal. I like Thich Nhat Hanh's quote from, "The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching", "Like all traditions, Buddhism needs to renew itself regularly in order to stay alive and grow." The Buddha encouraged us to trust our own experience, "Be a light unto yourself". My personal experiences have taught me many times over that nirvana is right here, right now. A great quote from Joseph Campbell, "If you don't get it here and now, you're never gonna get it." I think of Buddhism, not just as the teachings of one historical Buddha, but of all the Buddha's, past present and future - a kind of "Deeply Awakened person-ism" (but that's too wordy to put on a temple sign). We're surrounded every day by Buddha's, a few of them awakened, most not so much. While the history behind the evolution of the Buddhist religion is certainly interesting, what's more important is to be aware of all the lessons from all the Buddha's we encounter all the time and incorporating those into our way of life as our own Buddha nature guides.
❤
🙏
Could you sir do an episode about buddhism and gender equality (including LGBTQIA). I think there are still some secular Buddhists like me want to know how did buddha think about those people? Base on Pali canon
Unfortunately the Buddha didn't have much to say about such things. I did an earlier video on women in Buddhism where I touched on some related material (ruclips.net/video/864ksDOZwXk/видео.html ), but LGBTQIA issues weren't discussed in the early canon to my knowledge.
On my one year anniversary celibacy 🙏🏾
I recognize it makes sense for most to be relatively distant from the opposite gender if one is feeling insecure in their beginnings of celibacy, but what about if we're gay?
Great question Kris, but I'm not sure how to answer it not being in that place myself. Do you have any thoughts? I think it would also matter whether one was intending to become a monastic or simply remain a normal layperson. I'm not sure that the monastic rules would have much to add though.
Doug's Secular Dharma, My only guess is because a monastery would be so desexualized, queer monks might feel the same as if they were straight in terms of having no impulse. I haven't been in such a situation so I don't know either. Someone will find out someday!
I have a question , in the first sermon after Buddha enlightenment, he told the best way is the middle way, not get urself too attached and not to get too starved.. But why did Buddha and monastics starve all their life from sexual need... Is that not paradoxical teaching ?? If you abstain from sex, is it not like you are starving from sex all through life?? And Buddha gave monasticism to children as well including his son before they enjoy their sexual life after crossing teenage .. Did not understood why Buddha considered abstaining from sex when you don't choose married life also ... I understand Overcoming will resolve the need of pleasure if overcoming happens once for all.. But why Buddha converted majority towards monastic life and why he viewed sexual life leads to suffering instead of maintaining a middleway with sexual life as well..
Yes well sex is a very powerful form of producing attachment, perhaps the most powerful. For the Buddha it was part of the sensual indulgence that typified one of the two "extremes". The other extreme would be some form of mortification, which the Buddha also rejected. But this is a teaching intended for monastics in particular.
Doug, I recently found out that Buddha admonished Sudinna for breaking the vow on celibacy. He was a bit too harsh there, I think. What happened to Sudinna after that ? He must have been hurt by Buddha's words. What happened to him after that ? Was he kicked out ? Did he end up harming himself out of guilt ? What happened ?
I'm not familiar with the story about Sudinna, though the story of Ariṭṭha in MN 22 is one that centers around celibacy as well. Eventually having sex became the first pārājika or grave offense that required permanent expulsion from the monastery.
Sex is overated and can many times lead you into unconveniant situations that many times lead to suffering. This is just my take on the matter!
Well yes, it certainly can lead to suffering.
Definitely.
Hi Doug Sir, you said pre-marital sex is not wrong according to Buddhist philosophy when it involves consent from all individuals involved... So can you provide some reference from what insight of Buddhist teaching it was derived... I was thinking on this concept and view of Buddhism on this from many days, so appreciate if you provide any references on that...
There is no such reference, Gb B, because it’s not discussed as important. What is discussed is sex with someone in a protected state, in particular a woman protected by her father, fiancé, husband, or the sangha. Otherwise so long as it’s consensual there is no objection to it.
@@DougsDharma thank you, it is not so important in western and European world sir, it is life and death for Indian society.. Anyway thank you for your time in replying..
@@DougsDharma How can a premarital sex be legal?If They are protected by their guardian?
Doug - you often use words from another language to describe things. Is there a specific language for Buddhist teachings & thoughts? This might even be a language that has not been in common use for 2500 years.
The language is Pāli, although Buddhist teachings can also be found in Sanskrit, Chinese, Japanese, and indeed many other languages -- including English! For more on Pāli and its study see my earlier video: ruclips.net/video/0JEhzFfk-gg/видео.html
Celibacy in the context of people identifying as Incels is an interesting sideline. As a Buddhist meditator I have benefitted most from Metta practice in regards to not falling into cynicism around the *need* for sex . Sense restraint an metta along with Sila are perfectly rational as they align with mutually supportive Buddhist practice but come across as
fundamentalist an impracticable to kid's in this rapid/vapid information indigestion age....
Yes, thanks Kevin. To be fair, such practices aren't for everyone. They must be undertaken completely voluntarily as well.
Completely voluntary consent lol.
As an former aversion type it frustrates me such an amazing practice -is a hard sell. Recommended but bypassed without being trialed.
Great channel btw your opinions are valued.
@Siyovaxsh En-sipad-zid-ana they also feel ENTITLED to it. Much fewer women have this level of aggression towards men if they don’t get it.
I think sex should be only a means of having children who can support us when we get old.. it should not be a means of entertainment.. because desires never end
How about you not create slaves and help yourself 😊
Through astral travels I always have sex, but if I was conscious I wouldn’t. Wish I could remember my power to fly away, but I rarely remember.
I am a lay buddhist.How can I follow celibacy for life time or full life?
Do you not want to get married ? If all humans become celibate, human beings will just disappear from the planet. I know that you didn't say anything about others, but my point is that it is ok to not be very strict. I personally believe in a 'Middle Way' between Celibacy and Extreme Sensual Indulgence. I have applied Buddha's own idea of 'The Middle Way' here. So, practice self restraint, but don't take it too far if you want to get married in your life and have children ...
@@DipayanPyne94 Sir,I don't want to get married & want to be a monk in the later part of life after saving an enough amount of money for parents.They are dependent on me.Thanks for your comment.
@@jacksonbarua7574 Ok. In that case, do take Permission from your parents before leaving home. I think it would be better to take care of them. Leaving them to become a monk sounds a bit wrong. But yeah, please don't mind my words. I don't want to offend you in any way. Just sharing my thoughts with you. Anyway, take care, brother ! 😄
Sir,I have two brothers,an elder & a younger.Younger is still a student. They are financially dependent on both of us.My elder brother is married.He can take care of parents physically. I want to support them financially by saving huge amount of money.Suppose they will not permit me,what will I do?The Buddha said not to spoil Greater benefit for the sake of small benefit.
@@jacksonbarua7574 Brother, Buddha was a great human being. However, we should ALWAYS THINK FOR OURSELVES. I really don't know anything about you or your family. It's really upto you. If your brother is married and can take care of your parents, Great ! All I am saying is that there should be someone to take care of your parents till the end of their lives. In fact, my suggestion is that you should be with your parents till the end of their lives and become a monk only after that. The feelings of parents matter. So what if Buddha asked us to think about the greater benefit ? The feelings of parents and their well being, in general, matters. That's why, my advice is 'Become a Monk VERY LATE in your Life'. Enjoy family life, take care of your family as a responsible child and then become a monk. The same argument was made by one woman in the Early Buddhist Texts. She is right ! It BALANCES everything. No one is hurt. For eg, if I decide to become a monk, I will become one only after my parents have passed away. That way, NO ONE is hurt in any way. I hope you get what I am saying, brother. Anyway, sorry if I bothered you. I just care about the Well Being of Everyone. That's why I felt like sharing my thoughts. Please think about them. After that, it is all upto you. Take care, brother ! 🙏🏼 😄
13:21 Squirrel!
😄
okay, that really made me laugh =)
Actually I want to know the range of definition of celibacy.Suppose I see any types of entertainment with non lusty thought but there any moment my lust arises,so should I stop seeing entertainment.
The Buddha did not generally recommend such practices for laypeople, they were more for monastics. But if you want to construct your own path, it's more or less up to you to decide how to proceed.
@@DougsDharma Second path of noble eightfold path is right intention which includes non-greed. I think a wise person should take celibacy as non-greed which is right intention.
Actually A wise man can realize that there is no word like celibacy.A wise man know, bodily contact even masturbation must be avoided.It pollutes,clouds the mind,damages the nerve,damages the body excites the mind,tense the mind,excites the blood flow which can cause the great damage to the body & mind.Though nudity includes no bodily contact or masturbafion,nevertheless a wise person avoid nudity because either nudity leads to sex or self-mortification.So after avoiding bodily contact,masturbation & nudity, s wise person find no word like celibacy.Then he only use sex for procreation.He has no wrong thought about sexual pleasure.When a man becomes wiser,he even refuse procreational sex,seeing the danger of birth because new birth is suffering.
What about donating sperm?
I find your answer about celibacy and sexuality in the context of modern Buddhist ordained Sangha, too little... maybe too late... As you know most occidental practitioners are not célibe, add the japanese buddhist monks and the numbers of ordained practitioners in this condition is really sustantial... Is evident in my experience that the sexual practices of such Sangha members
are far and wide... could a general moral code, considering the spirit of early buddhist practice and relevant modern examples, could be useful? Even necessary! Buddhism lack central authority could be that, that lacking is a hindrance or an opportunity for opportunist who want to use the reputation of the buddhist, and the Buddha for their own purposes? May we have the duty to warn the novices to be with the eyes open...? Thank for the great work you are realizing with these videos... Deep Gassho!
Yes, well abuse has been a big issue in many modern sanghas, but there is a difference between ordained practitioners being married and their committing abuse. I'm not sure there is any real relation between the two. As you say, Buddhism lacks a central authority to decide what is allowable and what isn't, and indeed married priests may be understood as essentially laypeople by early Buddhist standards; they aren't monastics in the exact sense of the term since they don't follow monastic rules. It's a complicated issue, and one that would take a great deal of research to understand historically.
I agree is a Matter that demands more study, yes, abuse and ordained married Sangha is not the same issue... the point i was trying to convey to you is that even without central authority it is a good idea to review the early tradition of Buddhism in search of guidance aplicable in the present state of the universal Buddhist Sangha... Maybe some kind of consensus May be reach, basic principles that could help guide our steps in these interesting times... Thank You!
Clinical depression often has more to do with inflammatory issues/genetics then psychogenic problems. Extreme meditation is anti inflammatory. People need to realize that their consciousness is their brain. May not sound mystical or romantic, but it's the truth. Get your genes tested, fix your gut and meditate(a lot).
There is indeed a lot that can be done to help depression, both of the clinical and more everyday varieties. For many of us exercise and meditation can help a huge amount.
Did Buddha say anything about masturbation?
There may be something in the Vinaya (monastic rule book) about it, but otherwise not that I know of.
@@DougsDharma ok thank you
Coming out of craving. Coming out of aversion. A male chasing a woman kinda destroys the effort.
Well yes, it makes things more difficult that's for sure. Though many of us remain attached to a lay life.
Sexuality should be liberal no matter what religion you are. I understand monastics cannot engage in sexual behaviour for whatever reason. Keep in mind, we are all human beings and sooner or later the urge will make us do things we will regret. What are the consequences of a monk engaging outside of his vows: severe trouble on his end. Lay people being liberal sexually can be both a good and bad thing. As long as you have genitals, sexuality is a given and should be suppressed at all. If more places allowed spiritual sexuality the world would not be so chaotic as it is.
Sure. Suppression is never a good idea, all of this has to be completely voluntary.
@@DougsDharma I agree with you on that one. I have seen vids of monks getting sexual with its members and believe me, it is shocking and sends home the message that monkhood maybe a good idea but after some time you give in to being monastic. Even if the video is used as evidence and people will say that this monk broke their vows, it makes you question the issue of the strength of faith.
I disagree about what you said on depression. There is no "severe depression" vs "mild depression". It is only one thing, and we ourselves bring it upon us. And i really believe that go to a doctor to get addicted on meds is not a really good approach (i've been there and believe me, those "doctors" dont care about healing you, they just wanna prescrive meds on ppl, is a fucked up system this psychiatry model we have). What helped me most was understanding life and leaving the prescribed drugs aside. 30 mins of Zazen everyday is 1000000% more effective than any psyquiatric drugs.
Thanks JC, but I'd suggest we not extrapolate too far from our own cases to those of others. What might not help you might be very helpful to others. 🙏
@@DougsDharma Very good advice and i will take it. But if anyone is suffering from depression, please, take care and dont believe 100% in what psychiatrists says. I just dont wanna see more ppl be tricked that they have a permanent condition and they will have to take pills till they die. With the correct understanding of the mind mecanisms and processes, we can deal with those conditions without become addicted to dangerous drugs.
Even celibacy can be both wrong & right.Mahatma Gandhi tested his celibacy by sleeping with a lady (who is not his wife) in a room,then sleeping with a lady(who his not his wife) in a bed (with dressed & without dressed.This is wrong celibacy by which physical lust is nurtured.This is wrong celibacy.
Strange practices I think!
@@DougsDharma Right celibacy is a part of right effort.
Ghandhi was a pedophile the “woman” he slept next to while she was naked was a child. His niece I believe.
Does celibacy include masturbation?
I believe it does for monastics.
@@DougsDharma Right. But there different levels of the monastic vows. Sexual intercourse implies authomaticly not being a monastic. It is called "defeat" . I do not think masturbation implies authomaticly being expelled of the Sangha and becoming a non monastics, or it is labelled as "defeat". My knowledge of Vinaya, monastic discipline, is very límited, I must say.
If same gender people touch anyone's private part without his consent,then is his celibacy broken?
You would have to ask an expert on the Vinaya for an answer to that sort of question. But why worry about such things unless you are a monastic?
@@DougsDharma If anyone wants to maintain eight precepts for whole life,I asked this for them
zen fitness - get empty, bro
😄😄