Why it feels like I'm your friend
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- Опубликовано: 2 ноя 2023
- Mr. Beat explains parasocial relationships, and it gets weird. This is the video in which he alienates half of his audience.
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#parasocial #psychology #socialstudies
I’m Mr. Beat
Some of you know me very well, yet you’ve never even met me before.
In fact, it may even feel like we’re friends. But here’s the thing, I probably don’t know you. In fact, and I feel like I have to apologize for this but…you’re likely a stranger to me.
Now, when I typically do meet viewers of my videos, it’s freaking awesome. My viewers tend to be interesting people, let me tell you. However, it’s just not possible for me to meet you all.
What I just gave an example of is a parasocial relationship.
A parasocial relationship is an imaginary friendship with a public figure.
I don't even like you
That's why Biden Trump and everyone else would rather die than you vote for them.
Is he doing the Drew Gooden thing now?
@@FlowMichaelYes
I'm sorry. I hope this didn't hurt your feelings or anyone else's. I was making a mean joke. But it was mean and uncalled for. So far, I like the content of yours that I have seen, and I hope you keep making it. Hope you have a nice weekend and don't dwell on comments made by jerks on the internet.
@@FlowMichael I don't get that reference. I Googled who Drew Gooden is and while I have vaguely seen him in RUclips shorts, I don't watch that guy's content. Genuinely curious what you meant when you referenced him?
Yeah, but you're still going to help me move this weekend, right Mr. Beat? I have a couch that's pretty heavy.
Ok fine :)
He's supposed to help me out moving my Doctor Who pinball machine from the basement up stairs!
As long as there's time to help me move my grandpiano out of the 5th floor with no elevator.
I need help too moving some logs wrapped in plastic dont pay attention to if a arm is sticking out or it a red liquid comes out it is fine
@@iammrbeat after are you coming to my house on Saturday I bought Doritos and Mario cart?
Well
This got weird.
yea
Sorry
I feel like I ought to apologize @@General-Grievous
It's ok mr beat
You're absolutely great😂 I watch but never comment but I had to do it on this one. People are people; whether it's offline or online (parasocial. The only difference is you can talk to ppl that might be more isolated than others are in a parasocial interaction. I'm extroverted and invest in both offline and online but im also more careful online b/c some ppl are not all nice and cool, you know? Again Happy belated birthday and awesome video💯
I don’t feel like friends, I feel like you’re a teacher teaching stuff with a level voice.
Same here
BURN!
Changing title soon to "Why it feels like I'm your teacher"
@@iammrbeatplise give money mr beast
I thought he was a teacher teaching stuff with a funny voice. But that's probably his natural voice.
Aaaaarrrghhh so sorry!!! I keep meaning to reply to your email and I *DO* want to come on Ten Questions! I’m just rubbish with my emails, mostly because my baby is reeeeeally hard work. Am I still welcome on your show?
I knew it was because you were busy and not trying to avoid Mr. Beat, lol. I'm already subscribed to both of you, so I'd love to see you do anything together!
it'd be hilarious if he doesn't see this comment because of the 800 other comments. I can't wait to see one of the men of maps talk to RUclips's favorite middle america history teacher
Love map Men btw...
that would awesome to see
ANOTHER TWIST TO THE STORY
mr beat, i always appreciate how self aware your political and social analysis is.
Thank you
Yeah, but jREG and Mr. Beat are completely different RUclipsrs
@@iammrbeatmr breast give me money
The knowledge is dope, the method is gracious, and the power is wielded responsibly - you love to see it
because we are friends?
Yes, I consider you a friend. :)
@@iammrbeatSo wholesome ❤
@@iammrbeat mr beast giv money ples
@@verticalkoala1264 That's not Mr. Beast, fool!
@@MatthewTheWanderer no thats mr breast
"And I may not know you, but dad-gum it, I want you to be happy!"
Same to you, Mr. Beat. I may never know you in real life, but seeing you doing what you love makes me happy.
You seem like a decent human being.
@@iammrbeat Doing my best to be!
Oh all the people I watch on RUclips there is not a single content creator out there who I say to myself at the end of there videos "man they are a good person" more
Just watched all of the presidential elections in American history, very nice general introduction through all of the elections
@@iammrbeatdamn that's kinda f'd up, just decent?
As someone that’s been raised on the internet, I’ve been a part of many parasocial relationships. I even remember at one point I had to tell myself “They don’t know you, so why do you think about them so much?” Because I just liked their stuff that much. Basically it’s a real situation/problem especially people in gen z and younger
I agree that this issue has evolved in the age of the internet, but it was started by tv and movies. We psychologically associate the emotions we get from watching tv shows and movies with the actors. Especially in the 20th century we invited characters into our home every week, we laughed with them, cried with them and formed real emotional attachments to characters we knew were fictional, but our brains have yet to evolve enough to separate this fact from what we feel.
To your point, this phenomena has evolved and exploded in the age of the internet.
It's something that is not brought up enough with younger folks.
As a boomer, I'm very parasocial. Tbh, if it wasn't for para, I wouldn't be social at all!
@@Gloria_Williams would like to mention about that: I remember how the bad guy in the series Rich Man, Poor Man - Falconetti, played by William Smith, received plenty of hate (irl, as social media did yet not exist) for being such a jerk! People thought they knew him personally as he portrayed the villain so convincingly!
@iammrbeat I'm actually incredibly idk what the word is, ig proud of you for bringing it up. Idk, kinda like your saying here, I just wish stuff like this was just more openly addressed so younger people can be self aware of what's happening to them and interact w the internet in a healthier way. Props to you man
You’re a good guy, Matt. I’ve always loved history, and your channel is my favorite history channel. The way you deliver everything is so well done.
I appreciate the kind words!
@@iammrbeatmr breast give money plese
A stranger is but a friend you haven't met yet. Or a killer.
True facts
That makes so much sense. Especially since Mr Beat ended the video (pre-publicity) with "So please, form a relationship with a person in the flesh". (:
I think about this a lot when a celebrity dies. Matthew Perry from the show Friends recently passed away, and it’s weird how I felt a legitimate grief when I never met the man, nor did I even know much about him outside of his work on Friends and his addiction.
Me too. When certain celebs die its saddening on a personal level. Chris cornell was upsetting as was anthony bourdain. Its as if a chapter of our lives is over with their passing.
That's what first got me thinking about this phenomenon
Me too. I think with Matthew Perry it felt closer to home because of watching him every week for 10 seasons (even more if you watched the ever present reruns) and with him being so open with his addiction, it felt like you knew him, or at least more than most celebrities. I nearly cried when I heard he passed. I never felt this way about any other celebrity’s passing, like yes it may be sad, but it didn’t feel personal. It’s very weird because logically, I know I didn’t really know him, I only knew what I was comfortable sharing with the public, and he definitely didn’t know me. But it’s still a real bummer. I’m too young to have experienced this, but I imagine this feels like when the first Beatle died. This amazing cast from this iconic show will never be all together again and it was completely unexpected.
@@iammrbeatmr breast give me money
Robin Williams and Chester Bennington hit me hard as hell, despite the lack of personal knowledge
I also noticed that parasocial relationships can happen between 2 unknowns online. These days, all you need a a phone or a keyboard to make your presence known, and anything you write online, no matter who you are, can have consequences, and these relationships can be just as destructive in my opinion.
Thank you so very much for making this video. It was a much needed step back for me personally during a hard time in my life. I may have had no influence over the conception or making of thile video, and there was know way for you to know that because of the nature of our parasocial relationship, so I try to take it as a nice trick of fate.
Happy birthday, btw
By golly you're right. Parasocial relationships between two non public figures most definitely is also more common than we realize. I'm glad the video affected you in a positive way. Thanks for the birthday wishes. 🙂
This felt so deep down while reading this. All I have to say is YAY💯💯💯💯💯 And yes I say Happy Birthday to Mr.Beat too👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I have had “friends” on sports message boards for years. Everyone there uses fake names. It’s probably parasocial in the online gaming community too.
@@iammrbeate
I used to tell my wife I had a lot of friends. Joey, Ross, Chandler(RIP), Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel.
I think I have said that joke as well lol
I wish more youtubers would acknowledge things like this, I think setting a boundary with viewers as a content creator is a great thing. I applaud you for doing so, there are certain channels on this platform I think need to set something like this..
Yo we have same pfp
@@lygcdr675 bro he didn't even care wtf that's incredible
Wow i never thought of parasocial relationships. Once again great video Mr. Beat also Happy early birthday 🎂
Thank you so much. I hope you have been doing well!
Feels weird to have Hank Green and Mr. Beat make a video about this sort of thing within hours of each other, what a coincidence.
I think its youtube. Ive noticed that videos on the same subject matter get released right after each other despite the channels having nothing to do with each other. I just think its how youtube checks and releases content.
Nah man. It's just coincidence.
Another coincidence? I'm in a parasocial relationship with Hank Green. (although I have met him a couple times and he's apparently watched my stuff before)
@@boomzillaallizmoob1759 RUclips doesn't release content, lol, creators themselves decide when to do that!
@MatthewTheWanderer youtube screens content before it goes up. Thats why you cant upload certain content.
LOL I have never commented before but I feel like this may be a good video to comment this on. You are, in a very literal sense, my parasocial history teacher. I was "homeschooled" aka educationally neglected by my parents. My junior year, I buckled down and decided to take things into my own hands and teach myself everything I could. I actually stumbled across your channel from your Beatles history video (which also jumpstarted my descend into an ongoing classic rock spiral, thank you!) and have seen almost every single video of yours; even the election ones. It was EXPONENTIAL in teaching myself high school history. Partially because of you I was able to excel on my testing, absolutely killed the SAT & I now go to Dartmouth. Double majoring in HISTORY & philosophy on a pre-law track. I am not exaggerating your impact on this in the slightest. I owe you and Sal Khan hundreds of thousands dollars in tuition. Never stop doing what you're doing.
Awesome!! Congratulations and I hope things go well for you ^_^
Amazing comment. To paraphrase Socrates: the only thing I know for sure is that I do not know.
never expected you of all people to cover this topic but you did a great job with this necessarily uncomfortable video. i can definitely relate to the whole semi-parasocial relationship idea, i've seen my old school friend make huge progress and live his best life via social media even if we barely talk to each other, but i personally don't see that example as a bad thing. i'm mainly just proud of him, and i hope i get the opportunity to let him know that sometime
I appreciate you sharing that with us all
@@iammrbeat thank you!
Thanks for explaining parasocial relationships to all these people that think you're their best friend when in fact, I am obviously your REAL best friend.
OBVIOUSLY
You’re an A list celebrity in my book MR Beat
awwwww that is kind of you to write
Maybe we're not friends, but I really relish your content. And this is way more important for me. You teached me about America more than I studied in the school (well, this is logical, considering the fact that I'm foreigner and we study more about our country than about foreign countries history). You inspired me to read more about the US history, especially about presidents, so I really appreciate your work.
Greetings from Russia, btw.
That last line kind of threw me off guard. lol I am so glad you have dug and learned from my videos. Thanks for the kind words.
It's nice that I'm not the only one) Our history lessons are too European centric for some reason. I like videos about presidents and I also watch JJ McCullough for historical and cultural stuff
@@DashieDeit’s almost like your in a European country, that’s why it’s Eurocentric? I think that it’s important to learn about other cultures and historical events, but also it’s important to learn about the mistakes and triumphs of your own country.
I’m from the UK, we learnt about Russia, from 1855 to 1963. We learnt about the Cold War, the rise of communism, the civil rights movement, the holocaust and ww2 etc. but we also learnt about our own history. We learnt about the consequences of our empire, the Magna Carta, Elizabethan England, our own civil war in the 1600’s.
Learning about your own country is a great tool to teach the masses not to repeat the past.
@@melodiclogic9904 you are right. The thing is we had general history and Russian history separatly in middle school and I complain about general history. At least that's how it feels to me
"Form a flesh friend."
-- Mr. Beat, 2023
That word was appropriate since it's still technically the spooky season
honestly i needed to hear this message right now. i feel like ive been neglecting my relationships in favor of internet ones.
I came across your content a few months ago while I was on my gap year. You've taught me a lot about American History and geopolitics. I can't thank you enough.
Thank you. I'm so glad the videos helped!
@@iammrbeat No, thank you! You are among one of my favourite creators on the platform. Please keep up the great work, Mr. Beat!
I think the perceived relationship your audience feels for you is directly proportionate to the emotions they feel when watching your videos. We aren't emotionally equipped to differentiate your content from you as a person without consciously reminding ourselves that this is a one-sided relationship and you don't actually know us. It's a testament to the quality of your videos.
And thank you so much for this much needed reminder of what we all know, but don't always feel.
Love your stuff, btw!
Well put and thank you!
You're an amazing creator, Mr. Beat. I've been following your channel since the last 3 years, and due to your channel, I've been able to learn a lot about History and make new memories. Watching your videos brings me nostalgia of the year 2021, because in year 2021, I used to watch your videos daily. Your content is just top-notch and you clearly elucidate complex historical events. Keep up the top tier content man!!
This is so brutally honest and alarming and it needs to be a video. Thank you. This is very necessary.
I love your candor and self effacing humor Mr. Beat. I like you and would love to be your real life friend. Thank you for all the content you give us
I appreciate the kind words. :)
@@iammrbeat you're welcome my parasocial friend 😉 lol
Brilliant and highly important topic that impacts so many people. Great ppeople have always inspired me, whether others thought they were great or not. Gifted work of keen value, Mr. Beat.
Woah, thank you!
Thank you Matt I needed that video.
Your content has always been fun and interesting
And you seem to always try and approach things like a good teacher so you remove a lot of your feelings. And you’re just respectful
You’re very much like my social studies teachers in high school; very cool and teaches what other people consider a boring topic in a very interesting way. Thanks to them, this is what got me a lifelong interest in learning about social studies long after I left school (I’m in my 30’s) and your videos have been able to maintain it. Thanks for your efforts and keep it up.
We may not be your friend, but you are definitely our friend. Also I’m seeing how much you’re responding to everyone in this comment section, and you’re just great for that! We appreciate you
I wish you were my history teacher in high school. You have such a way of hitting all of the important points while putting it in a contemporary and unbiased point of view and making the flow of the video engaging
You're an excellent teacher. Thanks for all the hard work.
OMG you mentioned the teacher of the muscular class Arun Brown!!
lol
*THE muscular class.*
I recently graduated high school, as of 2023. You remind me so much of my favorite teacher. I love your content. It's so calming and informative.
Thank you :)
@@iammrbeatmr beast money pliz
@@iammrbeat we are friends, we haven’t met each other but the fact that your viewers think so much alike you is a relationship in itself.
You're one of the best underrated content creators on this platform ! We really appreciate your work
I appreciate what you do Mr Beat. I consider you a close enough friend. But I don't even like my own friends, so just continue to keep up the good work and quality content 😊
Great explanation Matt!
Hey, thanks! Also, I still consider a big honor to have met you in person a couple years back.
My RUclips feed is getting meta today. I literally just watched RM Brown's Friday upload (I didn't know you had talked with him before!!) and Hank Green uploaded today talking about the reverse of this phenomenon, his own relationship with his vast audience (which John Green has labeled "sarapocial") The internet just makes all social things weird. But it's okay
Don't worry, your weekend will be completely normal. Other than the upcoming earthquake.
Been a subscriber and viewer for 3 years now. Love the content 😊
To me, you're just the dude I have to scroll past in my recommended constantly.
Thanks for introducing this concept to us, I realized that I have such relationships including with you, Nick Johnson, and Dash with Ash in Canada RUclips channels. And although it’s on Monday, Happy Early Birthday to you Matt🎉🎉🎉
Well thanks for the birthday wishes
What's Good Mr. Breast. On a serious note, I have enjoyed your content for a while now, thanks for all your videos!
Thank you :)
Been watching your videos since 2020 your vids never fail to deliver
Good video, very thought-provoking. I was waiting to hear about a RUclipsr's relationship with their commenters! You certainly know some of us a good deal more than others.
This popped up at the perfect time. I'd been trying to figure out my thoughts on why peoples interactions with Influencers on TikTok kind of irked me. The case being that they're expecting them to voice an opinion on current events and then immediately trying to 'cancel" them for not doing or saying anything. It is for sure a parasocial relationship.
I wonder if this could also apply to fictional characters. People get attached to fictional characters in a way that may seem like they’re real and get upset when something happens to them almost in a way like if something were to happen to a friend. I wonder if there’s a term for this?🤔
I guess so
Yeah like Glen Rhee? 🤯
That's a different category
Important and under discussed topic, thanks for covering this! Also RM Brown is a gem, and I found out about him theough your channel when you interviewed him, so its neat to see him brougbt up again.
Glad you watch his stuff now!
Great topic and great video, as always.
Glad you dug it!
I definitely feel like you're my history teacher but I remind myself regularly that I cant raise my hand in class in the middle of your presentation to get us on a random tangent 2:43
lol I remember when my students did that (and didn't realize I knew what they were up to!)
@@iammrbeat some of the best facts I ever learned were from tangents we got our teachers on
You are more like a teacher to me
Well then, you are more like a student to me. :)
I always feel like your friend while watching a video. You speak to us, not at us, and your ways of catching us off guard are always hilarious, like the legendary "Wait... are you... listening and not watching? Put those dishes down and watch, there are some pretty cool visuals! Like my face!"
You're one of those channels we all stop what we're doing when we see you upload. We love you Matt!!
I always appreciate people who exhibit deep levels of self awareness. When combined with self appreciation, self gratitude and a gratitude for the outside world (which may be inherent to reasonable self awareness), it tends to facilitate very vibrant people.
What was it like meeting a viewer for the first time? I’ve always been really curious about that. And how often do you think about the amount of people are watching your videos and seeing your face? I did a bad JFK impression in my most popular video and it was pretty funny to picture random people watching it online.
It was also pretty funny to have watched you for so long and then to find out you had seen some of my videos too and communicated with you a bit. Great video btw! :)
Hey Andre. Thank you! I have watched at least three of your videos at this point...they are consistently good. To answer your question, the first time it happened it was definitely surreal. It really tripped me out.
@@iammrbeat That’s awesome! Thanks man
I have a friend who knows every K-Pop star’s height and blood type but didn’t know mine.
How do people get that type of info?
Show your friend (assuming you're still friends) this video. I think this is potentially a major cause of loneliness in society right now.
Interesting video. A departure from typical content. As always, very interesting. You are the best MrBeat!
Mr Beat, you have made a positive impact on many of your subscribers lives including mine, you have a positive and friendly attitude and that can be refreshing in such an angry and divided world we live in, thank you for your videos.
This comment means a lot. Thank you!
@@iammrbeatmr beast is cool
So we aren't in love? You broke my heart Mr Beat.
Nooooooo
I'll be your love, btsfan69420
Classic Mr Beat, always pretending we aren't best friends irl
😂
Hey there bestie
i love your channel so much, you actually inspired me to get a history degree with a specialty in presidents. thank you for everything. :)
Well said. Thoughtfully said! Thank you!
I think Parasocial Relationships can be just as beneficial as offline relationships as long as there is a balance. GREAT video👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I'm new but yes happy Birthday sir🎉🎉🎉
And just as toxic and co-dependent. But even at its most beneficial, a real life relationship is definitely more beneficial. There is nothing from parasocial that you dont get from in person, but there are many things actual relationship give that parasocial cant.
They can't be just as beneficial, because they aren't real relationships, it's entirely one sided. It's a few steps away from a downward spiral into an obsession. There's been some studies that have shown that they can be beneficial in ADOLESCENCE when forming their own identities.
Thanks for the birthday wishes!
I've noticed several of my friendships turning into semi-parasocial relationships over the years. That's not a terrible thing, as without social media many of those friendships would have simply faded away entirely. That said, I have caught myself forming parasocial relationships with members of a certain band, that has led me to real relationships with new friends, so that's cool. I have a couple parasocial relationships with youtubers too, one of whom I've met in real life a couple times now. Parasocial relationships aren't a bad thing, or unhealthy, so long as you know them for what they are and keep your expectations and investments within reason. Boundaries for the win!
Healthy outlook
I subscribe to both you and Jay Foreman. Both of you are great! It's also awesome that Jay Foreman responded in your comments!
Great video. this is an important topic and you were very well spoken with it
Wait, are you breaking up with me?
Im only 20 seconds in but that "I probably don't know you" hit like a ton of bricks. It's bizarre to know personal details about so many strangers without them even knowing my existence. Even though they share details of their lives freely online, it feels voyeurish
Well...again...I'm sorry if this video made you feel uncomfortable. 😳
@@iammrbeatthat's alright, you're still my favourite z-list celebrity
Matt, I have been a fan of your channel for years. I like the educational topics you choose to discuss, and you seem like a great guy in your videos, social media posts, live streams, podcasts, etc. With that said, I, at times, feel like I am your friend even though we never met in real life. And while it's 99.9999% certain that we will never be friends, I am still glad you are very friendly and charismatic in your videos, and I am happy with this one-sided relationship.
This comment made me feel a whole lot better. Thank you.
We relish and enjoy this top tier content and always will mr beat. Your funny and enjoyable to watch. Thank you for teaching me so much.
Thank YOU for the kind words.
Love ya Matt learned most of my history through you
God I laughed outloud seeing this video in your library, and thought it was a joke. Clicking on it and listening I am in complete awe over how you constantly produce quality content and never miss an opportunity to teach. You are genuinely doing a service to the world with your channel, and will forever have my support.
You were just fascinating in a great way!
Way more RUclipsrs need to make a video on this topic. It’s super important for creators and their audience
Keep up the good work sir!
Thank you, Parker!
this was great. On the good side of how easy it is to "talk" to people a long way away is that I can keep in regular contact and have lovely email conversations with old friends who now live a long way off.
As a long time Jay Foreman subscriber / fan, it now makes sense why I was originally recommended your channel about a year ago
Even tho we haven’t met Mr Beat Your one of the best RUclipsr and A Great teacher I never have Your Videos Help me During school and off school You made me feel happy with humor So to me Mr Beat your a great friend and a teacher God bless ❤
You're great Mr. BEAT!!
Thanks for this video, very true guys
Hey bro I support all ur videos since the beginning and I love all ur videos and thank u for all the content 🧡
Thank you so much!
@@iammrbeat keep it up god bless
wasn't expecting a video like this. I am not disappointed.
I am relieved you dug it.
I never really thought of as a friend so much, more like a history teacher that I fall asleep listening too, but you seem like a good friend anyway.
I am a history teacher in a private school, and to me you are a RUclips teacher. I understood this topic when listened to “Limelight” by Rush!! I appreciate all the work that you do!!!!
What a meta and insightful video. Kudos
this reminds me of Knowing Better's vid on the same topic from years ago, and I think that has kinda pushed me to not always see RUclipsrs as friends, but someone I can enjoy. that thing at the end of telling us to make IRL friends is definitely a start we should do. I enjoy a lot of your vids, even if I don't watch the really long ones. keep up the good work.
now if you'll excuse me, I've been watching RUclips for too long and now I have grass to touch.
you are a great voice to listen to while i actually sit and listen to my actual friends
I was introduced to you via a video from your channel about how each president has died and have been following your channel ever since. I wouldn't have known much about American history if it hadn't been for you. Because of you, my interest in the USA increases and I want to visit there even though I have never been there. Keep doing what you are doing so you can continue to teach us important things and also entertain us with your humor. (Sorry for the grammar but English is not my native language)
Thank you so much
thanks for talking about it!, really appreciated
It's something I have been thinking about for a very long time.
Thanks. Even though I'm not that into US history and politics, I do like how you approach making videos. They're engaging - visuals, text, how you talk about things in a way that makes it more entertaining
even if we havent and probably wont meet in the forseeing future, i think you're a pretty swell guy and one of the few youtubers who actually bothers talking to their fans, i appreciate your work and your future endeavors
I loved this video. There are shows that I watch religiously, not because I feel that we are friends, it just alleviates some anxiety to see something familiar.
the idea of this video is hilarious and i'm looking forward to watching it, friend.
Thanks for watching
The first ad that played said the quote, “Never miss a beat” that is exactly why I subscribed and hit the notification bell 😂😂😂❤❤
This video made me contemplate my life, even more, and much deeper than i think i did.
I love your videos i been watching them for so long now
Thank you so much. :)
@@iammrbeat no problem :)
Don’t worry, Beat. I’m not offended. We may not be real life “friends,” but you’re someone whose opinions I definitely respect.
Mahalo for making this video.
It’s an important one.
Aloha 😊🤙🏼👏🏼
“OMG Mr Beat I love you I know everything about your family”
Mr Beat - “ok… yes a new video idea”
lol