Living a Secret Life...
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- Hi All, I wanted to talk about something that has been very difficult for me to adapt to. Sometimes, we make decisions that we think are beneficial to our lives before assessing the potential repercussions that could arise. I am glad that I got out of the industry when I did.
Xoxo
Richie W.
E-Mail: richiewestie@gmail.com
Instagram: @Therichiewest
Twitter (18+): / therichiewest
Patreon (18+): / therichiewest
Im 53 years old. Old enough to be your father, I’m PROUD of YOU!!! God bless you. You made it on your own. It hurts but you must move on and accept things as they are. Love and peace to you.
i've listen a few times before,sorrily as of late. too much .insincere disperation,
Dittos James, very proud of Richie....I would be honored to have him as my son!
I was so poor & broke putting myself through college I especially remember one occasion. I was at the grocery store buying 1 single box of generic mac & cheese and counting out pennies to pay for it. I expected people in line behind me to be annoyed. However, I did not sense that. Rather, I sensed pity. That was a life changing moment for me. I'm here to say people have no right to judge you when you are struggling to eat. You do what you have to do. You emerge from that experience stronger. I've always wondered about this aspect of your life, so thanks for sharing. I offer you my respect. 🙏💖
I've been there! Had to use water in place of milk to make the Mac & Cheese! No reason to be ashamed for working in adult entertainment. It is REAL work and not easy work. From a fellow Aviation aficionado, keep up the great work. I would encourage you to work toward the certifications that interest you!👍😍😎
I'm a black gay 55 years old man. I can relate to everything you are saying about wanting to be loved, acknowledged and accepted by your family. I want to share something I learned in living with similar feelings you've shared. Stop looking for your family to affirm you. Know that you are already affirmed by the Heavenly Father. Once you truly understand and receive that you can truly live your truth without worrying about what others think or say. Continued happiness and success.
You would be surprised at how happy you make people feel when you share stories like that richie. I swear i want to reach into the phone and just hug you. The word's you speak, with that beautiful and well thought out grammar. Very inspiring to say the least. I think you are absolutely amazing. Keep up the great video's. ❤
Richie another great story about your state of mind at this moment in your very young life. Disgusted is a word I don't see when I'm watching your videos. Stay strong . think of the word family as people that love you for who you are. Love Miguel...
This was a heartbreaking story. Keep creating your own success Richie. Gotta let go of that "word of the day" or it will get reflected back onto you at the wedding. Just own your decisions and lifestyle its giving you 🤩
I'm not your family member ( lucky for them) but I would give you flowers and big bear hug buddy. You going through life and in bad or good times you managed to survive and press to achieve your goals. So keep your head up high and carry on, don't let anyone to stop you.
Never feel uncomfortable about your past, its your journey through life and what made you who you are now.
Thank you for being so open and candid about your experiences. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you did what you wanted to do and, yes, every choice has its own load of consequences; as long as we are OK to live with them, what we decide to do with our own lives is really no one else's business. I feel like your work in the adult film industry paved your way to becoming self-sufficient and gaining real autonomy. Isn't that what we're all striving for, one way or another ? You seem like a kind, down to earth person and I wish you nothing less than pure, simple happiness. Cheer up :)
Truth is wonderful parents can have horrific kids, and horrific parents can have wonderful kids. When your kids are old enough to find your videos, they'll be old enough to understand that you did what you did to survive on your own. You'll give them a big "I love you" hug, and be there to help them with their struggles. Honesty, hard work, kindness, and perseverance are all virtues in your story; nothing to be ashamed of.
I’m proud of you! Consider your fans here to be your 2nd family! From what I see on this channel, you get lots of love and support. ❤️
I love you guys!
Think about the people you love and cherish and look upon them as your family. Please love yourself first and then you will stumble upon the life partner you have always been searching for. Let your light shine bright, Richie. You are a beautiful soul. Cheers…
You always put a smile on my face even on days I am feeling depressed. I appreciate your channel so much and I will continue to support you man. Keep up the good content bro! ❤
You are an amazing and self reflective person, it is super helpful to hear your thinking process
Making yourself Happy should always be your number one goal.
I'm so happy I found your channel. I am the same age as you, and I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Full support to you my guy. 🤩🤗
Thanks for sharing and you have to be proud of your achievements and what you have accomplished. Obviously some of your family can't look beyond the fact that this was a professional choice of career opportunitity and that their is more to you as a person and human being. You have great qualities and stand up characteristics, you're perfect and their loss.
Selling your ass, for public consumption, is now a "professional" choice????????
Really???!!!!!
Silly me! I rolled up my sleeves and worked full time while in college, working at a college institution so I got a break on tuition. Had no phone or TV because I couldn't afford either. Shopped for Parkay margarine, only when it was on sale! etc, etc. Etc. Got a monthly, student, subway ticket, and photocopied text books so I wouldn't have to buy them!---- because I really could not afford them. I did what I had to do to get through school.
But I never sold my ass! I never took the easiest way out! And sometimes I took time off to just work and save money. But I finished 9+ years of college without a dime from my parents!
And it wasn't that long ago, so it can still be done! AND I went to Northwestern in Evanston, Illinois and the University of Illinois, Chicago. Northwestern is very expensive, but I did it. I had no choice!
I'm not a rock star. I'm not built for hard physical labor. I'm not going to sell drugs! The ONLY option I had was college so I did that, until I was done!
I think there might have been 3 of us working our way through Northwestern but I was that determined to get out of the hell hole I was coming from!
My parents had no idea of what degrees I had, how many or where my diplomas were from. They never asked!
Plus, my father called me on the phone--- only twice in my entire life! I don't remember the first call but I certainly remember the second one!
The point being, I had no support from family and if I wanted anything I had to get it myself. I knew that, very early on. And I worked for what I wanted, needed or aspired to have/be!!! And, yes, it can still be done!
No strings, or shame, attached!
@@jeijeichch4796
The magic words.... quick money!
Who have you ever known who made quick money.......which of them was ever happy, optimistic or who ever saved a dime to invest?
And making quick money is really not easy. There is no job security. No 401k, no health insurance, no anything!
And which of the people who make quick money ever has any self-respect?
It isn't a joke, self-respect, it is tremendously important. Esp later in life. No matter how long you live it is important to be able to be on your death bed and be able to look back on your life and be satisfied that you did Good work, you truely helped people who needed real help, that you made the world better! Quick money does none of that for you. Quick money comes because you are selling yourself, but for what???
NOTHING!!!
So when you are 40, or 60, or 80, what will you have then? A home? A family? Anything? Or will you be living in the streets with all of the other clever and smart people!???
Easy does make something valuable. Or desirable! EVER!!!
WORKING for something difficult makes it very, very valuable and (usually) worthwhile!
------------
So being a skinny, white boy with no great looks or body and who gets fuc%ed----- gee, now that is really something, alright!
I can't understand why he doesn't have the world at his feet either! It is just such a real mystery, isn't it!??
That kid needs to wake up and smell the coffee! The world owes him nothing! He needs to do a complete 180 and get going, with new purpose, instead of taking the easy way out and thinking there are shortcuts to sucess.
THERE AREN'T ANY!!!
I found out---- the harder I worked the more successful I became!
Strange, huh?
But porno kid will never catch on to the key to success! He is too busy looking for easy money, or to sell his ass to whomever comes along. (Like that ever works!) He should spend his time cracking a few books going to school. Or doing an apprenticeship. Something that will pay him for his work. But he never will. He thinks he deserves to have a nice, comfortable, EASY life!
Roll up the sleeves and get going!
DUH!!!
@Paul Ortiz
His ass belongs to him. Who are you to judge?
Do you mean that we must all be judged by the yardstick of your own achievements, however commendable they may be?
Richie, I love your honesty and transparency. Have peace within yourself and things will start to fall into place, including your relationships. Over time, these wounds will heal and you will have the people that you need in your life, which may include some family members. Allow your experiences to refine you and build your character. Moving forward, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. I applaud you.
This video, Richie, illustrates your intelligence, bravery, confidence, and focus. “Disgusting” is an adjective that definitely doesn’t describe you. “Delightful” does. You are doing everything right as long as you continue to believe in yourself and believe in your goals and follow your dreams. You are in exactly the right place at the right time to get to where you want to be.
My motto:”When you put on the shoe I put on and take the steps I took,then we talk.”Love you and admire you from Brazil.
Thank you so much for speaking your truth. Wounds heal! Talking It through is so helpfully. It takes time. Always remember you are loved!
Love you.
Enjoyed the live chat. You’re a wonderful story teller and you’re amazing!
I do enjoy your videos because you are so honest and open. Thanks for sharing your story.
Ditto on the you can pick your friends but not your family. I don’t think most people would pick their family as their close friends. I’m glad you have surrendered the idea that they will be impressed with you or ever approve of your choices. “Love is not earned it is given. Conditional love isn’t really love at all.
My bumper sticker says: “don’t judge others just because they sin differently than you do”. There’s a world of truth in that. God says not to judge at all so.... (Most family members think they have a right to judge.)
As for God, it’s all about repentance and then forgiveness. I believe you have done a good job there. Smoking, adult films... live and learn. You seem good at confession and that is very healthy.
Lastly I wish you the best when/if you have kids. Being honest with them is very important. You will need much wisdom in handling this stage of your life. Certainly there are great lessons for them in your story. Most important is probably the idea of forgiveness. Both of yourself and others! Acceptance is also a great part of your story however from the negative side. Teach them acceptance as a foundational rule.
I wish you the very best and hope you continue to tell your story so the rest of us can learn from it as well.
God bless you!
I am so sorry. I am sure you have heard the expression you can pick your friends but you cannot pick your family. Sometimes that requires love at a distance. You are growing into who you will become. That includes love and self acceptance. You are changing and you are real with yourself and others. No one needs pain in life. Go find your happiness and fulfill that. I am again sorry about how the family turned on you. Maybe once day they will accept and come seek you out.
So many things about this story sound so familiar to me. And what I finally realized is that sometimes people disappoint you, sometimes people are toxic, and sometimes those people are family. So, you have to decide if a relationship under those circumstances is healthy and worth it. For me it wasn’t. Ritchie is going through the grieving process for those lost relationships just as if those people had died. And once he goes through all of the steps he’ll be better off for it. I hope he has a few real friends who can be a support system for him and who will be happy for his accomplishments.
Hey Richie I man Old Man compared to you by a long way and I hope that won't turn you off on 70 years of age and I was born with a disability on the old list of 10 and you know to come out to be gay the first place was some of them after all these years don't quite deal with it and I watch with great interest with you know what you had to say first if you don't mind give you I would advise his words but simply this you didn't make those decisions because you just thought you'd like to do something to hurt yourself it was like you were trying to figure out a way to have it get by and make it and you didn't know that yet you learn more everyday you made a comment that you would be worried about what your kids would think someday if it is to come up one day or other you will have to answer it you're a good and decent man though you care about people it's obvious I'm glad you decided to share I'll be praying for you and I hope that's okay to say thanks for your honesty and if you could I'd love a reply thank you sir
being much less serious.... "ploughed on the bed..." do tell Richie,.... we'll listen.
Love your honesty, hope the family situation improves, kudos for your decisions, just be you
hey Kid, you are so right about Family. You just got to be your self period. there comes a point when it`s just not worth it, like going to a well to drink but it`s always dry, you know ? just be Happy with your self, I guess. God Bless.
Man what a fascinating story, you speak so well and are so open. All the Best Richie!
Sorry that you are going through this.... Families are certainly difficult to navigate....Thanks for sharing
I like that line "Families are difficult to navigate". Mine wasn't but I know a fair few guys that haven't had an easy time navigating.
You're such a great communicator. Gemini by chance? Anyhow. I feel for you regarding your family situation. That's got to be incredibly difficult to not have that cohesive unit of support whenever you need it from the people who should matter most. You should be proud of yourself. Working in the industry that you did, doesn't make you any less of a person, nor does it define you. You've got something a lot of people lack. Substance.
Thank you for this 🙏🏻
@@RichieWest You're very welcome, my guy.
There is a difference between family and relatives. I chose the members of my family. We are as close today as we were thirty years ago. If I need advice, comfort, or support, I don't call a relative, e.g., sister or niece. I call someone in my chosen family. If you are blessed with children, embrace your past. It helped shape who you are and will be.
I blame the churches a lot. To disown your own flesh and blood is something that i just don't understand.
Check out homosexual behaviour in animals in Wikipedia. Homosexual behaviour is common in the animal kingdom. When people say it is unnatural, they are not looking at the science. So be proud, and be yourself without shame. I want lgbtqia folks to live their best lives. I want then to soar as high as they can fly.
We are your family, all of us here want to give you the biggest hug. To raise you up and to protect you.
I can empathize with some of what you said and wish I could just leave some of the decisions I made in my life in the past. I respect you all the more after seeing this video, take care and don't let them get you down. I am reminded of something my therapist once told me; "the best revenge is a life well lived!"
Unfortunately family is not always on your side and you have to go your separate ways. I am the youngest of seven and speak only with my oldest sibling. Our parents are both deceased, but I was disowned by them, after I came out. Be strong and be proud of yourself! Also, enjoy sunny Arizona, I am!
i'm sorry you have the abandon feelings. Pleas know that there are those of us that DO care about you and your well being. You are loved!!
You have the family you're given, and then you have the family you choose! Be glad that you have that opportunity to choose your real family! When you need your family the most, they are the first to turn their backs on you! You can thank "religion" for that behavior! So much for unconditional love....right?
Thank you for sharing a part of your story. We each have a need for acceptance, not necessarily approval. Family often does not accept the “stray”. Family can be helpful or a hindrance. I’m glad you are finding your way. Peace.
Once again thank you so much for sharing. You are truly loved by many, including myself, but especially by God. There is more for me say, but will be shooting you an email. You can be on the lookout for. Blessings!! xoxo
You’re right. Sometimes we will all say, why did we do that. But to err is human, to forgive divine. Don’t rely on the forgiveness of others. Best just to learn to forgive ourselves, anything else is a bonus. Just keep moving forward. Why not look into getting movies removed. It’s not right that young people can be exploited like that.
This popped up on my feed today, and I cant thank you enough talking thru your regrets and decisions. I really needed that reminder today that if you dont deal with it, it will bleed out into the rest of your life in negative ways. Thank you for having an open dialog about your life experiences and your successes. Keep putting in the hard work.
I enjoy this channel because it is a journal of your quest for maturity and reminds me that we are all never fully matured
You are a grown man as long as you are happy in your life then who cares what anybody thinks 🙂
Hello Richie from John in scotland.you don't have to please anyone just be true to yourself and as long as your not hurting anyone else you'll get there .none of us knows what's ahead of us but be kind to.
Others and hopefully you will be treated kindly may God give you peace and give you many blessings along the take care and I hope you do well in the future take care and God bless you xx
Hi Richie, I have just been watching your RUclips coming out a second time. I was very interested in seeing this. I used to watch you and others on broke straight boys so have seen your work. I think you are a very hard working and brave young man. I'm so sorry for the problems you are having with your family. Stay strong as you are banging your own drum. All the best with all you do and have done. You should be proud and I hope you find happiness with someone. ❤
I"m kind of getting hooked on your "confession" videos. One thing you talked about here: So I read Keith Richards autobiography, "Life", and there is SO much time and energy--years--he spent chasing after drugs, doing drugs, balancing drugs in his life as a Rolling Stone...and you think about all the artistic things he could have done instead, what music he might have written....what's lost, you might say. And you go, "What a waste!". - Then you step back and look at the Big Picture of his life and he wouldn't be the Keith Richards we know and (kind of) love WITHOUT all that in his history. All the parts equal the whole, and it's the Whole who we are. - And one more thing, which you embody, but I'll put into words. This was told to me a long time ago: No matter how dirty the water is you can always pour clean water into it. No one's "clean", but you, RW, are like clean water. It's a process....indeed, a whole life's work. I admire you....call me crazy!
Wow - your story is nearly identical to mine, except I played tennis instead of porn. Seems fine, but my parents never supported me - when was I going to get a real job and not play games lol. I too never speak to my sisters. It's very lonely. Roots are disconnected and its very sad. But we stayed true to ourselves, but everything has it's cost. I really admire your courage, your balance, and your path of self-truth. I don't even know you, but I'm super proud of you!
Believe it or not, after having gotten a suggestion in my home video feed, I originally started watching your posts here on your YT channel without my ever having previously seen any of your "art" movies. So last night out of curiosity, I ventured over to one of the "alternative" video platforms to preview a couple of your performances. I think I know which production company in particular you were referencing (located in Las Vegas, right?), and I honestly do not understand why you have any regret about having done work for them. The production quality - - set design, recording equipment, visual composition, post production editing, etc. - - was top notch. You exuded a knowing confidence and a quiet intensity that helped make the scenes memorable, and the chemistry between you and each of your co-stars (Jacob Hansen & Ashton Summers in the two examples I watched) came across as natural and genuine. In short, for the viewer both scenes were very good. Just keep in mind that no matter which adult production company you choose to work with, once you sign that model release you are putting yourself out there to share with the world visually your most intimate physical activity - - the end product can be either beautiful or tacky depending on all the circumstances involved - - so you may as well own it and take some pride in the fact that a high-end studio succeeded in photographically capturing you in your physical prime in a manner that showcased your s€xuality in a very flattering light. Anyone - - be they family or stranger - - so petty as to judge &/or to shun you solely on the basis of this partially unintended albeit almost inevitable exposure of your own rightful personal decision as an adult to have s€x on camera, is failing to recognize that you are still no less a multi-faceted, sensitive, thoughtful, intelligent and interesting person worthy of love, association and respect.
I admire your openness and honesty. You've done nothing to be ashamed of. The thing is that there are ways to get help if you're really poor, such as applying for food assistance (EBT), rental assistance, Medicaid, or connecting with other social services agencies. I'm only saying this because it seems like there are people who are struggling in the comments. If you have no food, you can apply for EBT or connect with a food pantry asap.
YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON. You have to love yourself is No1. Wish you the best. I am a survivor of brutal sexual abuse when I was 4 yrs old. And have to love myself to get by. The love of my life of 32 yrs died in a fire at our home last year. I have to continue forward. You give me inspiration. Thank you!
Richie, my life growing up was similar to yours. It seems we can never make every one happy right? Just live life for yourself. You were probably wise to leave the adult film industry, although I did see some of your films and you did have a knack for it ;-) I hope you can find a career you love. I ended up as a nurse aide and then having loved this field so much I went to nursing school. The wisest thing I ever did. In my fifties I went back to college and got my bachelors degree in criminal justice. Best thing I ever did for myself. You're a sweet guy and you deserve all those breaks YOU can give yourself. I'm rooting for you and will be watching you tube to see where you end up in life. God bless you.
hope your mom came around eventually.. with, I love you, please just be safe, and I'm here if you want to talk... and maybe if she has worries and real concerns about the industry, she sits with you and asks that you both talk about the Pro's and Con's - and she listens and you do too. 😵💫
Richie you sound like a very grounded young man. Your life is just that ...yours .. keep pushing forward you'll find your nitch. If you ever visit Tulsa we would love to meet you. Good luck in your future.
You're such a sweetie. Very moving explanation of your challenges. You are NOT disgusting, despite whatever a family member might say. This community of viewers does accept you…maybe not family, but at least others who try to understand and support you.
Once I figured out that toxic family only causes a lot of pain I decided to cut all ties. You can't lead your life to please your family. Unless somebody is paying your way you don't owe anybody a thing. If you are still torn about what to do just ask yourself if you are better off WITH trying to please toxic hurtful family or are you better off WITHOUT being tortured by toxic hateful relatives. ❤
Pay them no mind. You need to recover from that and build yourself up. Keep boundaries and your relationship with them will balance out in peace
Richie, we all have made decisions that we wish we could change. I have learned much from my bad decisions. I learned that God made me. He does not make junk. That he has been with me the whole time. If he loves me, that I have to love myself. Stay away from negative people. Unfortunately some of those people can be family. I hope you can find a good church to guide you. What ever you do, bring glory to God. Hang in there. Psalms 139
Richie, it's wonderful that you feel confident enough to share the story of your life, even when the unhappy chapters. FWIW I did find one of your videos online (for free), and I was surprised you even worked with that particular studio (which shall remain nameless). It's the only video of you where you actually looked as if you weren't enjoying yourself. You're so amazing in your videos that that one will stand out in my mind as the exception that proves the rule, as the saying goes. But please don't beat yourself up for it; we all have done things we regret-as long as we learn from our mistakes, they weren't a total loss. Sorry to gas on for so long, but I want you to know we appreciate you in all your different aspects.
Good for you bud. Me and my siblings quit talking 30 years ago. I come from a very religious nutjob family. Last time I saw my brother was at his sons funeral and we were cordial but he made the comment as I was leaving that he still loved me but he couldn't be associated with me. I just turned and said I appreciated the sentiment but I don't need anyone in my life with that kind of love in them. We haven't spoken since.
You hurt no one in life. You are alive, happy, and safe. You should be what the rest of the world strives to be, happy, independent, surviving, and growing up at your own pace without toxic input and toxic judgement tormenting you any longer. BRAVO. Btw, I just happened upon your video and was captured by what you said. Sometimes, those that have let you go, are better gone so that you can love and be loved by others without the fear meaningless rejection. Good for you.
We are always here for you.
You rock Ritchie. Your willingness to even do this video is refreshing as it shows both courage and hope. These characteristics are part of most of our childhoods, but are often abandoned or forgotten as we age. You did the hard thing of telling your family hoping for at least acceptance, but hoping for more. I think in the years to come, your bravery with family will ultimately be returned. It just might take a few years. Keep up the good work. Love your videos!
You continue to have great depth into your feelings. Sometimes you just have to let family members go with love. Hopefully, and sometimes not, they will realize how badly they've treated you and will come around. Good luck.
our past shapes our future but doesn’t define it. we learn from our successes and our failures. (i also learn from friends and family members experiences!) your doing just fine my friend! 🦩🏳️🌈🌻🇺🇦
I appreciated your honesty! The world is a brutal place! We all do have regrets of our past, however, we do learn from our mistakes and move onward much more wiser! Hope that you can find the right path in your life! May God guide you along the path! Greeting from Brisbane Australia!
Richie , ask yourself what it is that you really love. Make strides to achieve that end. If you love what you do , you will never work another day in your life. I had to learn that lesson on my own. Just be you. Were i 50 years younger , perhaps another place and time...just be you. Just know you are loved. 🙂
Hang in there man!! I hope that those who love you WILL support and be with you eventually. ✌🙂
i can totally understand what your saying. Family can be worst then your friends. you have a lot to offer and your no dummy. You have a done a great job in making your accomplishments. Keep fighting in what you believe in making you happy. you are No. 1 THE HELL WITH REST THAT SHOW YOU NEGATIVITY TOWARDS YOU
I would give a big hug as well... You encourage me deeply.
Enjoyed your video, I know exactly how you feel. It is hard sometimes to fit in with your family, I hated holidays, especially comments from family members. Like where is the little lady things like that, yah Me and my dad never seen eye to eye. Yes, I would love to see more videos like this one. I will say Me and my sister most of the time got along I miss my Mom, Dad, and sister a lot. I'm the last one left. Hope you are doing ok. Take care
Wow, that was profound. Thank you for having the courage to tell us in such personal terms, the dynamics of being gay, working in adult entertainment, and trying to find acceptance with your family. In so many ways, your situation is not unique. Millions of gays endure similar experiences. Old cultural values, some of them destructive and alienating, are passed from generation to generation. I hope you will continue to be respectful to your family, but I’m glad you realize their judgmental ways won’t change. Always remember, you’re not alone. And always know this...your words will be heard by some gay guy or kid today, and that they will be comforted by them.
Hi Richie, thank you for sharing your life & experiences. It's kinda hard being the black sheep in the family and I am "disgusted" (word of the day) that you have been treated this way by the people who are supposed to love, protect & support you. I have found as I've got older that what is really I portent is that you like you, that you can look yourself in the eye and know "he's decent, maybe he doesn't always get it right but he always tries". Wishing you all the best from Gold Coast Australia
Disgusted is something you should NEVER feel about yourself, you're so so cute and lovely, disgust doesnt suit you at all. And if people treat you bad in the wedding you're going, just keep in mind that they're never gonna be the wonderful sweet special person you are, and that we (followers) will be here for you, no matter what.
Dear Richie, I am so happy for you that you have reached such a better place in your life than you lived before. We all have regrets 😔 in our lives, but such feelings must not be allowed to defeat us and prevent us from rising to new heights. God loves ❤️ all of us including you, Richie. He wants you to succeed in your life now, in the future, and in the life to come. Knowing that should help you to overcome past mistakes and propel you to both professional and spiritual achievement. You have my prayers 🙏 and best wishes.
One of your more introspective videos - one day you will wake and realize that not only do you not feel like you have to justify yourself, you're no longer even doing it. And at that point what you're still expressing as a hope (while cloaking it as a declarative statement) will have become a reality. Not all of us are actually present when that moment arrives, but if you are, you might catch yourself ruefully smiling - "Hey, I made it"
You didn’t kill anyone. You didn’t hurt anyone. Hold your head up high. You did nothing wrong. Leave other people to wither with their prejudices and let your success be your revenge.
It's sad when family are judgemental when they should be loving. Stay strong brother you're a good person. Sounds like you realize that.
Difficult one. I think if I was a relative hearing your involvement in the industry I'd probably burst into tears. I'd want you to leave the industry (in time) and move into something else. In the meantime I'd have questions and want space to answer them. Does it hurt? Are you sleeping properly? Is it affecting your relationships?
I'm more likely to be successful in getting you to quit by making sure you get lots of hugs.
I think I'd want some space to ask questions as they occurred to me.
That's in an idealised world. In the real world people can't handle their emotions in such a reasonable way.
I'd want to tell you if you're struggling with something I will give you time and a listening ear, no matter what.
But that's a lot to ask of most people, I know that. I know it makes sense to do that, but sadly people aren't always in the space to do that.
People can though send you love and hugs in vibes through the ether of the universe.
what's one is done in life. regrets are bad and only wasted energy. you're very smart, i like your vids.
Another great video Richie! Unfortunately many of us can feel what you have felt, because we have been in similar situations. Biological family can be a real downer, we must move on past. I will be proud to be part of your new family. May I suggest that you make a lot more of the "educational" videos like this, that teach us things you have learned, particularly about the industry.
You're a wonderful young man. If I had a son i would be so proud of him if he were you. Im proud of you 😊
Hi Richie, Thank you for sharing your stories. I can relate in that I have cousins who like to gossip and say negative things about myself/others in the family. It's unfortunate, but all you can do is live your best life and do whatever makes you happy. Keep up the great work!
Richie, you are a great guy and have strong courage to share. You and I have similar stories, I knew I was attracted to guys since I was 11 or 12 or maybe younger. I am quite a bit older 64, and growing up in that era I had to hide it. I got married at age 37. Before that I lived a gay lifestyle, but never came out. I got married thinking this would change and make me straight. It did not, and actually made it worse. I would get online and sneak out to be with other men. My wife would ask me if I was having an affair with another woman, and I could honestly say no. She passed away almost 7 years ago and I have no desire to remarry, and just stay in limbo with my hidden lifestyle. I haven't tried to date men, but have been addicted to gay porn. At one point I was disowned from my family for over 20 years. My one sister of 5 sisters, her and I have been close, and the only one I would be able to talk to. Now all but one of my sisters we can talk to each other. I have an older brother he is 6 years older than me, so growing up we never had anything in common, and he never wanted to have anything to do with me until now that we are older. Thank you for sharing, it prompted me to share this with you. Also I never had a chance to reconcile things with my Dad before he passed away. My Mom is still alive and I have resolved things with her, she is 94. You are an amazing guy and I always like your stories, because I can relate to them. Thank you from Utah.
Thanks Richie..you openness about your private life is amazing and you are very brave to talk about it..your relationships with your family is also important and I understand how you feel..especially about your father. Do keep up these vlogs and take care and retain your happiness and dignity..lolzxxxxx
I'm 53, and I know what you are talking about. I feel bad for you, just like I cry for myself.
I was able to find this channel, and this video as the right time in my life, and cannot tell you how grateful I am. As someone who wants to make content, I also have that heavy feeling. Long story short about my life, I’m not able to be as, free as other people are. I guess you could say. And being who I really am is hard because I have to virtually hide that part of me. My coming out was a nightmare. But it’s the after effects that still hit me to this day. I’ve always been told by my friends that I need to get out of my families toxicness in order to me happy. But I’ve been so brainwashed into not being able to take care of myself, that I endure living with my toxic family. Seeing this does give me hope though, and I truly believe I found your channel for a reason. Stay awesome. ❤️
Glad my video helped 😊. Follow your dreams!
@@RichieWest hi how are you I am fine thank you I was watching your video you have such deep thoughts and feelings I can certainly understand that families can be really horrible and and very difficult I really hope that you’re dreams come true my name is chetan from England it’s very difficult to come out to your parents I am gay too when I came out to my parents they were very horrible and nasty 🤢 my coming out story is horrific I can certainly talk to about it if interested it can be very scary when we have no money you have a great sexy voice there is a saying never be afraid no matter what always be yourself be proud I am very proud of who I am well done for doing stuff for your self keep up the good work ℹ support you all the way through no parents should ever abandon their children for any reason what so ever yoir a very respectful person and very nice nice to meet
@@RichieWest I am so proud of you we can be friends
@@RichieWest we should all live freely and happily love you brother 👦
@@RichieWest big massive hug 🤗 for you brother 👦
Hey Ritchie… thanks for sharing the story of what it was like to “come out” to your family, or perhaps I should say be “outed” by someone connected to it. I guess I’m not surprised that your secret or the methods used to cover it up failed in the end, given how pervasive the Internet is.
I would only suggest that you don’t give up on your immediate family because you only have one and working toward getting them to accept you unconditionally is a goal to aim for, not a result you should expect right away. People can change even with religious dogma clouding their POV. As for that nasty aunt, she can get stuffed!! She’s clearly not worth an ounce of effort so cut her off. She doesn’t deserve your charming character.
There are plenty of young gay guys out there going down the path of familial rejection or considering that industry you’re not out of, so keep making more videos telling about the lessons you learned in life thus far. All the best!
When I came out, at 38, and their reaction was "Like Duh" we've always known. I was so afraid they'd find out and I'd be disowned.
You seem like a smart and together young man who discovered the secret to a good life is to make yourself happy and be proud of what you do, not to worry about what other people, like a disapproving family, may think. I am much older than you, Richie, but it sounds like things haven't changed that much since I was your age, and I am truly sorry for that. At lest these days you can connect online with like-minded people and find a supportive LGBTQ+ community where you live. Please take good care of yourself, stay strong and focused and do not bog yourself down with disrespectful people. That's why we have "chosen families."
I also hope that you will learn not regret your career in the adult film industry, in particular working for a certain studio. You made a name for yourself and I hope you can learn to appreciate what you have done while you are young, handsome and trying new things. I'm sure there is plenty I don't know about that biz, but sweating over the past is a waste of energy that can be better used planning for the future. I wish you all good things, happiness & success. Thanks for sharing with us.
I love you, Richie, so much. My heart breaks for you. I know you are trying to “keep a stiff upper lip” (as the British say) but I can feel the hurt come through. Your family is missing a real opportunity to love you. Even if they don’t like some choices you’ve made (I can understand that) but they should love you unconditionally. That’s true love.
Just love the story of your life, you have had a interest life so far. Wow!. Love and blessings.
You are an awesome man, and we love you!!!! Follow your heart young man!
Richie, family is not always blood related. You can (and already do) have a wonderful loving extended family, i.e., friends (I'm sure), and many "strangers" who watch and admire your videos, wanting to help you out any way we can and give you unconditional support!
Hi Richie, There is a prayer that says in part, Grant that we may not so much seek to be loved as to love. Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned. Realize that your family doesn't understand about that part of your life and they can not explain the route you took to their friends. Don't forget Mother's Day and Farther Day, and Birthdays. Have a good life, and save up enough that you may have to take of your Dad and Mother in later years. Just be ready. They may never respond, but will remember your thoughts when you send cards and flowers you send. Flowers come from the one you settle down with someday. My family usually do not respond to the cards and flowers I send until I visit. Drop some flowers on your sister's birthday , and do not expect anything back, after a few times, see what happens. Remember, we may no so much seek to be consoled as to console; and to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love, and be charitable by giving. I hope you take this in a positive way, you can be stubborn sometimes. Sorry this was so long.
Richie ,,,what did you expect,,,,,this is a difficult thing for any parent to fully understand.
Family is not just the genetic link ,,,that kind of family is something we all can acknowledge,,,,, but the real family are the people you surround yourself with by choice,,,if you can count your friends on the fingers of one hand then you’ve blessed….
You’re also still young and as a result still growing.
Build your platform strong on your own principles built it strong,,,that way you never need anyones validation.
Keep your chin up. Stay strong,,,,, and learn to love yourself.
❤❤💙💛💙💛👍👍✌✌🇮🇪🇬🇧
It sounds like working for that last studio you hated was blessing in disguise. It gave you the push you needed to find another line of work. Meanwhile, I hope you were able to make some investments along the way!
you are feeling life's pains and joys, because you are real, genuine and sweet as well. You inspire us and we love you for it. xoxo :)
sometime you gotta risk it for the biscuit.
You need to do what you need to do at the time. People should not judge what others do for work as long of course it’s not illegal and or harmful to one’s health. You’ll be fine! You are fine!
I live far away from all my family too, and am a student that also works and etc so fully understand how you feel, always feels like a conversation watching your videos
Congrats! You made it on your own. I couldn't say so about myself, so you have every right to be proud.