How I made it as a Video Essayist
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- Опубликовано: 31 май 2024
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In this video I'll explain everything...
00:00 Ad read
02:20 Disclaimer on how I escaped small channel purgatory
10:01 Advice from the Heart (my views on the video essay genre)
31:50 Advice from the HEAD (my views on working the system)
54:43 Advice Lighting Round
01:02:02 Advice from other successful RUclipsrs (maybe a special bonus at the end...?
about video essays and making it on RUclips.
Check out @3rdWorldMiss new joint on South African media - • a review of Shaka Zulu...
Edited by @NeedlessNick
Feat-
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@cjthex
When FD said he has been watching YT for 15 years and more than regular TV and had never heard of or watched a Mr. Beast video until a few years ago- I felt that.
Same here lol
Same here but I think a large part of that is because his audience is largely kids and I would guess primarily white kids
Me too he does not get suggested on my feed.. no idea, what’s his deal..
Only found out he existed from the blindness thing, and i still dont really know what he does.
That's kinda how I am with the "manosphere guys" like Tate. If I hadn't read the story about his arrest on Reddit, I'd have probably gone my whole life without ever hearing about him.
My video essayist galaxy brain has expanded tenfold upon completing this video. Bravo!
p.s. the spectre of Othellius Maximus haunts us all
the man
As a data scientist I have to point how important FMIFL's insight at 01:10:00 is. All algorithms which are designed to mimic or predict human behavior are easiest and maybe best understood by trying to understand the humans the machine is pretending to be, rather than the machine itself.
Beautifully stated!
It's kind of sad this needed to be said lol all "the algorithm" and even SEO is based on what are humans actually interested in, will engage with, and actually like. Make stuff that other people will actually like. Look at it this way here is a test - if you don't say, like share, and subscribe will people do this? The CTA is marketing, the fact that did what you say was because you produced something people actually want to do it and you made something valuable. So just create something people want and find valuable. Then sprinkle the marketing on top 😅
Here’s a funny story about the algorithm:
So I have a small skincare channel, and I am an LGBT+ person in Florida. I posted a skincare routine in which I chatted about the difficulties we currently face here. That video did surprisingly well (a 1 of 10, as you say), thus I checked the search terms that were sending people to my channel. The top search term? “Desantis.” A name I never once said at any point in the video. Was it a relevant name to the issues in our state? YUP.
I never realized the algorithm fills in the gaps in your video to match search terms until that moment.
You’re not going through anything here in Florida. The iguanas have it harder than you here. Relax
@@bonesbrigade2o2owhat a load of 🐮💩
I feel like people get a little too personally offended by clickbaity thumbnails, especially for relatively smaller creators and in general like I get that it can be annoying BUT ALSO the hilarity of all the different thumbnails for anime video was actually hilarious and I loved it. It made me MORE curious.
I mean, I've kind of always felt that about video-essay thumbnails. If they were clickbaity, it was part of the joke we're all in on!
@@zoushaomenohu yeah it feels kind of ironic when most video essayists do it, and I'm fine with that.
WolfeyVGC is a competitive pokemon player who makes really insightful videos about what makes a pokemon or Pokemon team work, and the meta about which Pokemon are used the most competitively. His videos are so clickbaity looking at times that I would never have taken an interest in his channel if not for someone else showing it to me. Idk, I guess I've been burned too many times by watching a bunch of videos that I didn't actually value and spent a lot of time on it. When I first started watching RUclips, I was binging hours of 5 Minute Crafts. So uhhhh....yeah. the cynicism got me
A little clickbait-in-cheek now and then is fine--worry is more about success from clickbait proliferating to the standard, where being intentionally vague/misleading is the point
This is, after all, the biggest gripe we have with faux "news" sources that greatly prioritize viewer retention and mobilization over good faith education and accurate information
When I see a clickbait title, my first thought is "why wasn't your video good enough to stand on its own premise? why did you have to resort to cheap tabloid tricks?"
Spend any amount of time cruising right-wing and reactionary headlines if you ever need a reminder as to the sinister threat presented by clickbait and audience manipulation in general
We are supposed to be better than that
@@cass6020 I feel like people like WolfeyVGC do clickbait right because the title is always accurate to what he is talking about or showing no matter how clickbait it appears to be.
If more clickbait actually did provide the accurate information the title and thumbnail project would be appreciated but from my own travels through the Internet it is rare that it lines up. So the natural reaction to seeing clickbait is to avoid it unless you hear otherwise. Only reason I ended up on this channel is because RUclips Auto played one of his videos when I was away from my computer cooking and I enjoyed his content so I liked and subbed. I never would have actively clicked the video and I still heavily struggle to go through the effort to genuinely click these videos. They always end up being Auto played at some point.
Also I want to add that while I think there is a certain personal charm to video essayists that show their face/ include "performative art" in their videos, as someone who mostly listens to videos (while I'm doing chores because I'm a busy mom), having just a voiceover is completely fine. I bet there are a lot of people put there like me that use these 1-2 hour long video essays basically as podcasts/audiobooks.
im in high school and have been watching video essays for a while now, and have only been a leftist for a a couple months. i go to a baptist school in a very conservative area so it is very hard for me to connect with people in my area because of how different the culture is and how much im disconnected from it. so i just want to say thank you for making the type of content you make and inspiring me to think of life through a different lens because i don’t think i would consider myself a leftist if i hadn’t found your content. will always look forward to watching your videos
thank you for trying
You go baby! ❤
Love seeing the babies in these conversations!
(Forgive me if I sound condescending. I'm sincerely happy and supportive of young people deprogramming themselves at a young age)
That's inspirational tbh 💪💪 keep on it
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
🎉
Fun fact: this is my new favorite "how the RUclips sausage is made" video.
Very happy to see CJ get so much time on the topic. I think I've watched their video on subjectivity in art 5+ times. Just incredible
I think tha hardest part for me as someone who's wanted to get started in this lane for literal years now is that I've already done it once. I did tha internet rapper thing for close to a decade (and did decently well/aite, I had a niche audience, one of my songs hit a milli on spotify, etc) and still do to some small degree.
I ended up burnt out on my passion becoming work, and now I just have an anxiety around creating anything.
It's definitely something I gotta deal with, but it burns out my inspiration so quick.
I was a musician once. What killed the passion for me was I was always measuring myself against prior successes which made any current success feel small no matter how good it was. I still need to kind of turn a blind eye to how good I did and just play for the hell of it.
yo I know EXACTLY what you mean. The moment that I put something out in a specific medium, suddenly I feel like I have all these obligations and it steadily sucks the passion out. I _think_ the secret is to just put shit out without agonizing over the details that come with good taste / being a perfectionist, but I'm still struggling to do that with my brand new channel.
I wish I could tell you that I definitely know how to keep that passion alive while steadily pushing creative art, but I can't. I CAN tell you that you're not alone, because that's what your comment did for me. I hope you figure it out.
Bro same, but I would say this. As creators we’re never at peace until we create and I found working on projects, while I might not post them, still gives me a fulfilling feeling. We’ll miss the process and that’s in our nature. Creators create and I’ve finally gotten past the need for “results” we all have bills of course but it’s the process that will heal you, or the lack there of will, eat at your soul.
I experienced this, too. I had a creative business that owned my life for a few years. It has made me hesitant to make my passions my work again but the pull is so strong.
Man turning anything you love into a job/career can be great but it can also suck the love away because now there's expectations. That extra layer really complicates things but I hope you can figure out how to balance things and make a future out of your passion.
CJ’s video essay on Bo Burnham’s last piece of work reverberated on me in a way I can’t explain. I’ve had to rewatch it a few times. It was sublime. I was in absolute awe I’d never seen anything like it.
Yeah same. I've rewatched/relistened that video about 6 times atp. I learn something new every time
i recommend it as much as i can (if its subject matter naturally arises in conversation)
CJ comin' in like a final boss toward the end made this video that much more enjoyable for me. Also, "spoilers be damned, I need something on while I'm doing the dishes" got a huge laugh outta me, as I was actually doing the dishes while watching.
I was about to do the dishes. I had my sleeves rolled up already😂
@@Muhluri They come in clutch when it’s dishes time!
I am an English MA student right now and I've been flirting with the idea of RUclips video essays for a long time. Thank you for this video!
Do it! Start today before human nature starts to set in. Avoid the doubt and anxiety and the overthinking. Start right now!!!
The important thing is to make content you like. Set a deadline for yourself and get cracking. Your first video will not be everything you want it to be but it’s worth the effort. You can only improve in the beginning
With that level of academic attainment, u should definitely do it!
Ive said it before as someome who chucks these up on watch later and gets to them in like a week or so i realyl enjoy watching the thumbnails change its like seeing a little bit of your thought process from this end
"When the timer hits that five digit mark, you know that's the good stuff." This is so true lol, remember when every video essay over 45 minutes had the respective creator apologizing for the length.
Also, can we please see more of your cat
And now some people are regularly doing 2 hours plus.
They aren't public right now, but I'm keeping a weekly video journal through my PhD, and I plan on making them public a few months after I graduate. I'm treating it as groundworks for my future as a professor and online teacher.
This sounds like such a cool idea
I watch a ton of video essays and have a backlog I will never finish. Yours I always click on as soon as I i see them.
As much as I like the idea of video essays having concrete visions and static titles/thumbnails, I can't help but acknowledge that The Algorithm© cares too much about aesthetics and will deprioritize videos because its programming thinks those elements aren't appealing. It's a little annoying but completely understandable, so don't feel bad about that FD. ( *EDIT:* FOLLOW-UP AFTER "READ MORE")
*EDIT:* To give some context, this comment was made before FD's video went live. So yes, FD's comments about The Algorithm© being primarily focused on keeping users watching videos in the hopes of squeezing out a few more ad dollars is not represented. At the same time, if Google really cared about ad revenue then they would have a team of engineers solely dedicated to circumventing ad blockers. If The Algorithm© has no foundation for ensuring that what it's doing actually accomplishes its goals, then I don't see why it should be referred to as anything but temperamental.
Really it’s just a matter of good clickable ideas that deliver on the promise of the title and thumbnail. Although there is the nuance of will my established audience click on this topic. But the aforementioned statements is applicable through and through. It’s the nature of the competitive market that fucks intelligent and truly interesting people. Most consumers lack depth and originality.
I just want to say that it isn't just that the algorithm thinks that those elements aren't appealing; they actually just aren't appealing, and the proof comes from the fact that the viewers themselves respond differently. My point is that these aren't just something that the algorithm values for no reason; it values them because they genuinely affect whether or not people click and watch.
yeah like, as much as I love video essays with a strong hook as the title and a thematic quote as the description, I like video essays I actually can find to watch in the first place more. if someone has to cheese it up to get their content circulating, you know, whatevs, I respect that sometimes you have to do what you have to do to get people to show up long enough to see you have something worth offering, there will always be a difference between someone trying to entice you into hearing them out and someone trying to sell you something of no substance in a flashy wrapper
The algorithm only "cares" about views, ad times and other stuff that indirectly boost those. If it prioritises some aesthethics it probably isn't because of an innate preference but because of the public response. Your point still stands, but giving agency to the algorithm is a bit too much.
wait what? What are you concluding? Or you just saying shallow, rhetorical, nonsense?
Kids these days.
18:47 - I am not a video essayist but I resonate with this description. Pre-pandemic I got an adult ADHD diagnosis. I'm not saying that all video essayists are neuro-divergent... Just that one of my favourite things I miss about being at university was being able to follow research rabbit-holes on topics other people would firmly put in the "Why do you want to know that and why would it ever be useful?" category. I would still hit weird paywalls but it was a lot less than it is now. I dropped out of my masters in Biochemistry.
I have a suspicion video essays have at least an allure to neurodivergent people that is disproportionate. Creators in this space also seem disproportionately neurodivergent. I'm autistic and I've always felt really seen by video essays/essayists, from other autists I spoken with I understand this is not abnormal. Similarly I've meshed well with academia. Giving me effectively a playground to learn whatever I want, however I want, and I'm *rewarded* for wanting depth in my knowledge=gold. I think coursework discourages depth, but academics generally encourages it, which has always been my conflict with school. It also is no wonder why so many researchers gravitate here sometimes instead of schooling. I'm graduated with my BS in neuroscience (lol) now and clicked with labwork, which I'm still doing even after graduating. Hoping to find a niche in life that weirdly in-depth knowledge is rewarded (onwards to medicine!).
All that to say, I agree with you. I think a very certain kind of person who is attracted to people passionate about special interests gravitates towards video essays. It seems pretty well aligned with researchers/tech folk, communities which are also disproportionately neurodivergent. Chicken or the egg? Idk. But I'd love to see if any concrete evidence comes about on who occupies this space. Always been a lot of solidarity from video essayists, speedrunners, challenge runners, the FGC, etc who also tend to represent safe spaces for the neurodivergent.
I came over from Nebula to see if anybody else commented about this because I'm AuDHD and was sitting there listening and going "Video Essay Brain just sounds like autism and/or ADHD to me". Glad I'm not the only one!
I feel exactly the same and I also have adult adhd
It's also the case with most big RUclipsrs in general, funnily enough almost every single youtuber I follow, wether they're let's players or essayists or skit actors they always come out with an adhd diagnosis
I think a good model for trying to understand the video essayist brain is perhaps not by only neurodivergency, but also worldviews or psychological development (i.e. Spiral Dynamics), my guess is that a lot of video essayists are either Orange, Green, or Yellow.
28:22 Cat playing with FD's feet is hilarious
HOW DARE YOU CHANGE THE TITLE OF YOUR VIDEO !!!
??? It's not even up yet. 😭😭😭 You good, bro. DAAANG.
@@ryanmichael7007 Right? The thumb nail owned me dangit!
😂🤣 Theeeeee AUDACITY!!!!!
In this case you’re better off for being clickbaited
It's dastardly
i'll say it again: this video has come at an interesting time in my life, and as someone who believes in signs (thanks mom and dad, thanks elegua)...thank you FD. im not even trying to be a huge youtuber, i just want to work on my art and share it with people who love music and art.
Same here homie, I just need an outlet for a creative process and I've been thinking about youtube for years
CJ's coda here was absolutely impeccable. Great video in general but what a capstone.
This is great advice. I did 12 issues of a punk zine (and a few one shot side projects) back in the 90's and the best advice I got is to just keep creating and eventually it'll evolve into a pretty unique voice as you evolve with it. I was a sad, angry teenager and not a normally outgoing person and got really comfortable interviewing bands and just talking to them like they're people. Although I was doing niche DIY print media I was militantly opposed to making money off of (if that were even possible) I think this applies to youtube channels I've been consistently following for years.
Did your zine ever go anywhere? I hope you don't mind me asking I'm interested!
CJ is just absolutely the best! Thank you for having him close out the video!
Small request: can you have the channel name under the artist for the whole time they talk? I often find myself getting a little distracted, then looking up because I love something about them, and missed who they are, and it's not always easy to find them in the video description afterwards. :D
I've been wanting to make youtube essays for YEARS for the exact things you've said about the "youtube essayist brain". Good lord the way you described that borderline/actual neurodivergent fascination with things, and how that molds you as a person...I panicked, you were describing me to a tee. It's just hard to make the leap I guess - I want an outlet to ramble my thoughts, but also don't wanna waste people's time. I've tried writing videos before but it's hard when I don't have a point. I swear my own ADHD & autism are my greatest asset and liability. XD
I have held the "autism is my superpower" (or "greatest asset") belief before, but from what I understand many people find that insensitive due to how vast the spectrum is. I "lucked out" in terms of savant skills and special interests, but in this case it's like "specifically my autism is specially my greatest asset", but NT people just think any autist who can feed themselves is rainman and may purposefully or accidentally use this as a bludgeon against other autists. I'm throwing it out there just because as a fellow autist I have been told to cut it out/I was being disrespectful/hurting the home team, and want to prevent the same from happening to you.
I feel like you made a video just for me. Came exactly at the right time. Much love to you!
CJ bursting out of the Mario pipe to finish off the video was the best little gift you could've possibly closed us out with. What an awesome surprise.
Gotta appreciate that their advice was basically "fuck the algorithm and half of what you just learned, find what you love and make ART."
This was amazing timing. The algorithm read my brain. I’m the producer for three large channels and we had to take a long unexpected hiatus. Video production is back up and we’re coming back with a new host and look. I’ve been worried that we’re going to flop and that there’s nothing I can do about it. Your video had really great insight and suggestions, from yourself and the other creators (proof that I watched til the end!) Keep up the good work!
Its true, it's only great essayists that make me go and rewatch a video, such as yourself, CJ, Contrapoints, etc...
CJ the X’s videos contain the perfect amount of analysis and jump cuts, for us short-attention-spanned Zillenials 😇 Well deserved shoutout
I wonder if video essays resonate with learners that were unsatisfied with their experience in conventional school. School is really geared towards 1 or 2 learning styles, and since I've allowed myself to consider Video Essays and Audiobooks as legitimate learning tools, I have increased my knowledge and understanding of the world in ways I never was able to before. I'm an audio/visual learner and to have any information spoken to me just sticks more than any conventional reading does.
The school system fails so many folks. As an educator, I have to say that "learning styles" aren't real and have been thoroughly debunked by scholars. Brains take in information in a variety of ways. I'm an teacher with ADHD and audiobooks are a lifesaver. Listening is just as legitimate as traditional reading and anyone who tells you different can f- off!
Watching CJ while high is pure entertainment.
I'm not a RUclipsr, I'm a podcaster that's working actively on making content somewhat similar to video essays (Khadija inspired style?). These advice, I'm gonna use what I can.
Thank you Uncle Fiq 😂
The point about video essays having rewatch potential is something I haven't thought about but it's so right. I rewatch a couple of my fav video essay channels over and over again from start to finish 'cause I get so much from them every time and it's so engaging.
Oh can I ask which ones you go back to? 😁
@@Cainly I'm doing a philosophy and creative writing major, so the main ones I end up watching a ton are Philosophy Tube, Big Joel, münecat, and Contrapoints. I also rewatch quite a bit from he Canvas (who does generally shorter art history essays), hbomberguy, Tara Mooknee, and a bunch more. I watch a lot 😅
@@tangimeme ah nice! There are some contrapoints and hbomberguy videos I watch over and over just to vibe ☺️
Thank you for helping me have a chance to reflect. I've actually had a really weird start. My first video essay I made (and currently only one) had 138k views. It really put pressure on me to make something amazing as the followup but after months of reedits I'm still not close to done. I also started a full time job so it's been hard to find the time to work on more videos. It makes it hard for me to improve since I'm just not putting out as much.
Oh no, not an FD apology video!
Oh wait, this is a meta thumbnail.
FD really needs an award for upping the thumbnail game.
I just fell for it. MANNN!! lololol it's early and I got a ton of work to do. How dare you trick me in this state!
As someone who does not have english as his first language, I think having a clear speech and well place pace is great for the international views
One thing that I liked about this essay is that it had the opposite effect on me than it probably had with others. It inspired me to create, that’s a given, but it really helped me to kill my RUclips itch. I really don’t have the time and energy to make video essays, as curious as the idea is.
I really fit your description of a video essayist too. Seeing how much is involved and the work ethic that is needed convinced me that my calling is that of a good old fashioned essayist without the video bit. I just want to lose myself in my writing, post it on my Substack, and then get on with all my other daily obligations.
I normally record a voiceover too but, a good hard look at the work involved and the time and energy required and I’ve decided to jack that in too. So yeah, thanks for this video! You entertained me as you always do and convinced me that RUclips isn’t really my thing as a creator.
when you spoke about feeling like loads of video essayists have a different kinda brain, absolutely no shade, but I heard what I used to feel before I was diagnosed as Autistic and ADHD, like yeah big same, I'm a "good but small doses" kinda person, video essays often feel like theatrical infodumps, and just that section popped out enough it me I wanted to comment? I absolutely cannot and will not diagnose people I don't know personally but yeah, my fav video essayists have strong neurodiverse energy yknow what I mean? Anyways absolutely lit and stimulating vid as always :3
I appreciate that sometimes a change in the thumbnail/title will make the video a bit more engaging, and something I was putting off watching now feels like I have to watch. What's great is FD is always making great videos, so I never regret watching.
I really needed this. I've been discouraged lately on the RUclips front for a number of reasons, but it's time to get back in the saddle.
I gotta say, that whole "you might go months and still hit big" is so evident with someone like Noah Caldwell Gervais. For a long time his long form essays of Video Game Franchise restrospectives were maybe 2-4 times a year. But each is so well written and insightful that honestly the only weakness in the backlog tends be rougher audio and edits.
But he would get SO many views early, because we would be eagerly awaiting the next one.
I be seeing stuff so late LOL but truly what you said about knowing you had good videos but just didn’t know how to get the algorithm to see it???!!!! Yes. It’s been great seeing your style evolve. Happy to be a small part of the journey 🖤🖤🖤
Video essayists and their audiences tend to be neurodivergent, specifically ADHD or autism. I thought we all quietly acknowledged that by now haha.
Yeah no we're not going to do well at loud parties. Quiet get-togethers with friends, boardgames or deep conversations is what we're here for. Those are neurodivergent traits. Getting so fixated on a single topic that you can make a video essay about it for a month, that's a neurodivergent trait.
Sure sure, it's not universal. There are probably exceptions.
UNITE
Reporting this comment as "I'm in this picture and I don't like it" lol
This might be your experience, I know plenty of people with both that are the life of the party
@@roberthansen221 Okay look you aren't wrong that those people exist, but there's so much more to it than just that. It's not a toss-up between aut!stics (censoring to avoid auto-delete) who like to party and aut!stics who don't.
Have you experienced those same aut!stic people after the party ends? I bet that they were slumped in a chair somewhere, possibly with a headache, with closed blinds and noise-cancelling headphones, not being able to get their brain to do anything more intensive than watching cat videos or just sleeping for twelve hours straight.
A loud party can be fun for me too once in a while (I think?), but recovery will take days, and the first day afterwards I basically can't do anything because it feels like my brain got steamrolled over by a truck.
For about a year, I used to be the person who was the life of the party. They'd say I was the most bubbly, confident, talkative, extraverted person they'd ever met and they'd laugh in my face when I told them I was an introvert. I was just masking. It took a toll. I didn't take enough rest because I didn't want to accept that I needed it, because I wanted to be normal, so instead my brain decided to just have me dissociate my way through life for a while, and then gave me a years-long aut!stic burnout (and you probably know that those are no joke and can come with permanent loss of basic skills, such as speech).
I wasn't trying to say that aut!stic people universally can't cope with loud parties ever, but given the way we're wired, there is a significant disincentive to participate in them with any sort of frequency. And yeah at first you can sort of push through that and you'll only feel the brunt of the consequences months to years later.
Given that aut!stic people often have interoception issues (e.g. I cannot feel that I'm tired until I am about to collapse), it's harder for us to know that our body's limit has been reached or surpassed, and we might not stop when we really should.
And then there's alexithymia, a difficulty in recognizing one's own emotions, which is also very common among aut!stic people, and which I also have. I thought I enjoyed those loud parties, but the reason I thought that was because I knew I was *supposed* to enjoy those parties. Normal people enjoyed them, and I was trying to convince myself I could be like them if I tried hard enough. I'd been masking for so long that looking inside myself to see if I actually enjoyed them never even occurred to me. Not enjoying them would be a failure on my part. It would mean I was boring, and I would not be a person worth talking to. (I was mute and almost universally ignored during the full 6 years of my middle and high school experience, which was still fairly recent back then, so it cut deep.) My actual feelings about anything were totally irrelevant. And I don't think I could've accessed or understood my feelings if I'd tried. I'm still working on learning how to access and decipher my feelings.
The aut!stic people you know could well be very different from me. Maybe they're hyposensitive to light, sound, touch and smell whereas I'm hypersensitive (all of those senses are affronted in clubs). Maybe they're using alcohol to quiet their social anxiety, or using it as an excuse as to why they're not able to conform to social etiquette, or using it to cope with CPTSD symptoms, whereas I largely stayed away from alcohol. All of those things are common among aut!stic people. They're not generally sustainable or healthy, but they are common. But there probably is a small percentage of aut!stic people for whom loud parties are genuinely sustainable and healthy. Even for them my point still stands.
I'm sure you know of the Double Empathy Problem and how it means that aut!stic people easily get along with other aut!stic people (and anecdotally with ADHD people, though we don't yet have science backing that up), but not with allistic people. It's like there's a language barrier. Given that it's easier for an aut!stic person to be friends with fellow aut!stic people, and given that the majority of aut!stic people favor quieter environments, aut!stics who really do enjoy loud parties are probably still going to be spending more time doing quiet get-togethers with their aut!stic friends who do not enjoy them, than spending time at loud parties.
At loud parties I always felt like an alien trying to blend in to the human population. I was so scared they'd see through me and find out I wasn't really like them. I thought of myself as a balloon full of air, an easy to pierce façade that hid the nothing inside, and maybe the real me was in there somewhere, buried deep underground, but I sure couldn't find me. I didn't think I was a real person, and I was deeply ashamed of that.
I felt floaty and detached and completely boundary-less (because the places where I would've put boundaries if I'd bothered to had been long surpassed, and I was the one who ignored them, so clearly they didn't matter), and god was I vulnerable like that. I would've gone along with literally anything. In a normal state of mind, if you get shoved, you tense up to try and stay on your feet. But in my floaty dissociative state I'd lost even that. I had no resistance in me at all. 100% of the brain power I had left went into masking. There was nothing left for detecting and responding to threats.
I wasn't able to distinguish people I should trust from people I shouldn't, because I didn't understand people's motivations. All I knew was that I always f*cked up social rules, and everyone else knew what to do, so I should just go along with what other people thought was normal and pretend to know what was going on.
Now that I get to do quiet get-togethers and boardgames with fellow aut!stics instead, and am learning to recognize and express my likes and dislikes, and now that I don't have to modify everything about myself in order to connect/communicate with the people I spend time with, I absolutely never ever want to go back. And I don't think I could if I wanted to. I don't have the ability to push through anymore. My brain executes swift punishment now.
But on the surface I was the life of the party, and I thought I enjoyed it, and that's what I would've told you if you'd asked me back then, and that's all you would have seen. I was good at fooling everyone, including myself.
?what
Video essays give me a solid, long form thing to put on while I work at my computer. They introduce me to concepts I'm unfamiliar with, or analyze something I'm interested in. Your videos in particular scratch some itch in my brain that a lot of other content doesn't.
Been a video essay, let’s say consumer, for many years. Contrapoints, Lindsay Ellis, CK philosophy, renegade cut, pop culture detective etc. I’m shocked it took so long for the algorithm to recommend me your videos.
The wild shyt about the thumbnail algorithm convos is that canibus video is what I discovered you through and it blew my mind that I hadn't heard of you before and regularly watch plus binge on all the content.
Love this video. I always like when people with success on RUclips show how the sausage is made because as a non-RUclipsr, I have no idea. It’s like pulling back the curtain on pro wrestling or magic tricks. The process is endlessly fascinating to me.
I honestly feel like any success in the art world is either bought with connections or money OR partially luck. There are always people amazing at what they do who never get noticed and the fact that you recognize that the shoutout and Bo Burnham video coming at the perfect time makes your credibility for advice very strong. Here is hoping that now that you're in the algorithm, you can do the work you're looking to do. Cheers.
When you said your brain is different, and this is why you gravitate towards video essays I felt seen. ❤
When I watch CJ I imagine I'm a 20th century student travelling to some German city where this one famous intellectual is giving a lecture on the cutting edge of the field
Didn't where I was going when I clicked on your video but I'm glad I did! I'm not a youtubers nor aspire to be but love to know how things work. Thank you so much for all the work you put into it! Quite maddening and also fascinating ✨
i think that Pat finnerty has done a fantastic job of making weirdo art project/video essays. usually a lot more self aware and narrative based than other similar types of content. huge reccomendation for music lovers
I watched that folding ideas video on nfts basically on repeat for a month when it came out.
Honestly id rather just make the things i want to make and never get monetized because that sounds like way too much work for me. I got 3 toddlers and a wife aint no way im going through all this just to create art or talk about interesting stuff. But i admire people like FD who do this for a living.
Honestly, I often put off watching Philosophy Tube videos. Because most of my RUclipsry is videos I can listen to while doing something else, and maybe check in from time to time or watch out of the corner of my eye while I cook or something. Philosophy Tube has to be actually *watched*.
i think a month ago i wouldn’t have needed this video but i think i’m realizing now that having conversations about issues that i care about (i.e climate and labor issues) is important and necessary! Like potentially with video essays!
Such a great video! Hearing the tips and tricks from the creators (a lot of familiar faces by the way) makes it more helpful. LMAOOOOOOO I’m at the part when CJ pops up🤣😭🤣!
And don’t forget…even Philosophy Tube didn’t start out as the current PT. It was just Abigail (pre-transition) sitting their….living room(?) explaining what X is. Like what is Liberalism, etc. It’s like a mini-classroom lecture.
1) I CANNOT believe I've been watching you since the Bo Burnham days
2) CJ the X is one of my favorite RUclipsrs!
Very pleased to see them get the shout-out they deserve here!
How did I just watch that Bo video this morning and this one pops up a couple hours later? Conspiracy
Nope lol that's the algorithm doing it's job
@@FDSignifireResponding to me on the video about parasocial interactions. Literally while I'm watching it. Notlikethis
extremely insightful. thanks for sharing!! this felt very genuine and real. also i consume a LOT of long form content so the idea that i could click away doesnt really cross my mind. i find that listening to you talk is very comforting, you dont use a ton of huge words, you're relaxed and able to deliver your points concisely. thank you!!
I have no interest in creating a RUclips channel, and don't believe I have it in me to create video essays, but I'm watching this whole thing and enjoying it. Proof of concept.
This video was incredible for video essayists. I appreciate you for being transparent about your process! Some of your videos end up sticking in my algorithm for MONTHS like you were talking about so it was interesting to learn how that ends up happening.
as a viewer, I do appreciate when someone doesn't make too much content and focuses on quality. I have only so much time to watch youtube and twitch and I want to watch a variety of my favorite people, and if someone is uploading several hour long videos several times a month, I'm going to miss some of them, and if the quality drops because they are spamming out content, I may not watch them much at all.
I can't listen to this in a damn Library, when you suddenly and firmly say: "I want this robot to like me!"
EDIT: this whole thing was fire, and fucking nailed what you were talking about around 23:07; I'm no video essayist but I love watching a good one so much I'll watch anything you put out because I know it'll be worth it regardless. I feel seen, heard, validated, attacked, called out and embarrassed all at once. Kept pausing to subscribe to everyone on here (that I wasn't already). Thank you for this, and thanks to the algorithm, which ironically suggested it to me 😅
Obsessed with CJ is literally a mood
i grew up alongside my mom getting her english phd and the only way she could get me to let her work done a lot of days was to explain what she was learning to me. she jokes my sister and i got a master's level education from our childhood.
my friends hate consuming media with me and i've been told "make a youtube channel" but they don't understand the amount of effort that would go into that. for me, if i can find a few consenting adults to rant at about the thing until my brain loop closes i'm good.
Love your content and parasocially feel a warmth towards you personally. Keep on doing what you doing brother. I am working on a bunch of content, so this is really helpful, peeking behind the algorithm curtain
EDUCATION IS ELEVATION
This video was incredibly timely for me and I couldn't help but feel validated by it.
Thank you, FD.
You do inspire a new wave of leftist creators.
Now it's time to make some more thumbnails, I guess. Let's do this.
I’ve been told by friends and coworkers that I “would do well on RUclips” because I love fashion, beauty, and so on.
But…. I wouldn’t want to do it. It’s a lot of thought, planning and production to make great videos. Plus, they need to stand out….. why would people watch you vs someone else? I’m also not super competitive and I don’t want to open myself up to online “prying eyes”.
I give y’all a ton of credit.
It was so fun seeing all the other people on YT that you featured in this.
I also owe Khadija for introducing you to me. On the other hand, I have never watched your Bo Burnham video. Apart from that, I watch everything you put out, and am excited whenever I see you in other channels (like in the More Perfect Union channel).
I've been trying to nail a topic for a stupid grad school essay and THANK GOD you helped me figure out what's been swimming around in my brain--parasocial relationships and modern musicians! yay thank youuuuuu I was freaking out!
I've watched quite a few of your videos multiple times. You've always made good content to me, and I appreciate your knowledge and contributions to this platform
RUclips has its quirks, but as the most average whitest dude from the smallest, midwesternest town ever, it's been a huge resource to gather different perspectives and takes that would be impossible to come by otherwise. Thanks for putting in the work sir.
In December of last year I started writing and filming a video and got probably 60% of the way through editing before I dropped it. My work situation changed and my time management fluctuated, I’ve been feeling very conflicted about finishing the video since then, now there are parts I would write and record differently but I also don’t have the energy to restart the project, I think now I’m just gonna try to tackle it and finish it. It won’t be the standard I’d like but it’s the “first” in a sense and it never would be; I can’t let it keep me from writing and exploring other things on my mind. Toon, Nando and Jessie back to back at the end was pretty wild, 3 creators I love and 2 which I definitely didn’t expect to see you collab with but I’m so glad you did. This video was very resonant with me personally, and I appreciate the motivation.
I LOVE that you talkes about CJ, they made me care about rick and morty for and hour and 41 minutes 😂 I rewatch that video every time I'm in an artistic slump
its insane to see how far you've came, I remember first watching a video from you way back in jul 2021 and time flies. Regardless of whatever changes or small disagreements/views the creator may have going in, this channel has always been educational/engaging.
Also, my experience making music in a way kind of parallels what you're doing, I'll make something I think sounds good, and put it out there just for the sake of putting it out there, because I believed in its success rather than hoping the algorithm would notice. I've had videos posthumously gain more views months and even years after I upload. There are frequent cases where if you make something that genuinely is good to most people first and foremost, then it to an extent doesnt matter what algorithm you're at mercy to, people will eventually notice the quality if it is good. But at the end of the day to put yourself on the map I've learned a lot of it is consistency as well
Aw! I love that Khadija shouted you out, that’s so sweet. Such a badass creator-both of you!
Speaking of Philosophy Tube, I was watching her channel AGES ago, when all she was doing was sitting in front of a bookcase in the corner of her apartment. She really did start with next to nothing - just her brains and her knowledge and her personality. It wasn't HD and there were no costumes, none of that. Just discussing philosophy in an essay format, and I loved it. Unless you're very lucky, you will have to start with what you have, and that's fine.
I really appreciate this advice. Just launched a video and I wasn’t sure whether changing the thumbnail was a good or bad idea.
I use GroundNews, and I'm glad to see them sponsoring folks! Also, sometimes in order to get conversations started, you need to trick people into hearing about them. This is a harmless trick in this case, and thank you for bringing that awareness of media literacy websites that teach folks HOW to spot manipulative reporting tactics. It's too bad RUclips reinforces the same content on a cycle that forces RUclipsrs to play the game. Your advice is really helpful for those trying to become RUclips content creators.
I found your channel through Khadija, and I'm so happy I did. I've been loving your content for the past couple years. Keep doing what you do!
Fd the narratives you build in your videos, the analogies, research, humour and insight is all spectacular. I've rewatched almost every one of your videos at least 5 times lol and I only discovered your channel in April. Incredible video and need to get over to patreon
19:00 Yup, a very specific type of brain, and I'd guess a good representation of AuDHD viewers (ASD / ADHD). Like, CJ's vids? My in-person discussions with my trusted inner circle can have both (or all) of us pontificating simultaneously. 😆🥰 We're not at a loud party, we ARE a loud party, even without music.
I had a lot of fun watching the thumbnail/title for the Eren vs. Guts video change repeatedly. I laughed so hard at the third set that I had to show my friends, even though I had already linked them the video on the first thumbnail/title, lol
In the middle of working on a new video and I definitely needed to hear some of this. I've tried various formats to no success and feel like I'm finally in a comfortable space to create. I really appreciate the insight and reminder of this all. I tend to forget everything is a process and I'm trying to find what my particular space is. I think there's too much focus on how you want things to be vs what you can actually do in the moment and natural growth is important
Thanks, Unc (and your contributors) 🙏🏾 I made my first few essays a while ago but stopped when work/life got too busy. This video was such an eye opener, though, and the insights/encouragement I needed to give it another try!
I love Fiq. This video is great. All the contributing essayists are dope.
F all that, though. CJ cooks with a different fuel. Y'all out here making points about propane burning clean and CJ is like: but charcoal tastes goodn
I thought the "clickbaiting" was hilarious. You tricked me into thinking deeply about an important topic instead of anime! How dare you sir!
This is a great resource for us small video essayists! Thank you so much, this really makes me feel better about the approach I've been taking. Love your videos, you were my inspiration to start just a few weeks ago!
57:09 no for real tho, when your bo video came out, I legit binged most of your catalog. If the rest of your videos weren't not just as good, but *better* than your viral, I probably would have bounced. But here I am, two years later, still watching new videos on day 1 after 16 hour shifts. And I know I'm not alone. Let that say what it says.
As an avid RUclips fan (and maybe someday future youtuber) I really appreciate this breakdown. I've always wondered - does saving a video to Watch Later do anything for creators? I usually try to make sure I save a video asap if I can't watch it immediately and then binge them later. It would be great if creators got some sort of boost/acknowledgement from that
I think I remember seeing that it helps put the video back in your suggested vids more than it might have been otherwise. Don't have a source for that though, just something I've heard creators say over the years
Oh my gosh, thank you so much for explaining those analytics. I have been trying to figure out what impressions are for months and none of the articles I found actually said what they were, just that they exist.
I know I'm a total anomaly, but I hardly look at thumbnails at all. The only way I "look" at a thumbnail is I know what generally the RUclipsrs I follow do, and so I look for their style. I see a mostly purple/green thumbnail and it's not Thoughtslime? I'm sad. I see F.D Signifier's face? Better be one of his videos or at least have him in it. I do, very much, look at titles though. I'm probably one of ten people who if RUclipsrs titled their videos like scientific papers would be quite pleased. Yes, tell me the whole thesis of your video in the thumbnail so I know what topic I'm in for. But I'm an informational magpie.....
*taking notes* 👀
Thank you for making this!
Bro, 34:33- I’m so glad you mentioned the algorithms because my hatred of them has been growing more and more lately.
Imma spare your comment section right and just say that I noticed a pattern on my socials that sent me into a fever that’s lasted almost 6 months of information gluttony.
I could probably make my own 2hr long video essay just in that alone but im tryna get this masters in EE 🤞🏾😩
Imma keep it real I watch anything you put out man lmao, you deserve to succeed and as long as you aren't being malicious do what you need to do.
Also I was one of those first 2k lol
As someone who has been contemplating making videos since 2006, and contemplating making video essays very seriously since kaptain Kristian, I think this video helped a lot. I think I'm going to stop contemplating now and start doing it. thanks unc.