@@kevinkagombe542 sure she is very happy 😂😂😂 was that a smile I saw😂😂😂 no she was struggling to get up. But I guess women are like animals to you so you will never have empathy towards them.
@@kevinkagombe542Would treating his wife like a person kill him? She is literally growing his child. But I guess the way she had to put her hand back to support her back while getting back up doesn't at all indicate any difficulty to you.
@@kevinkagombe542 Kevin whatever you say, a pregnant woman must rest she must rest, this, what we just saw is a servant serving a King It is not a King and her Queen African men tend to treat their sidechicks like Queens and their wives mere slaves to attend to their every little need and want whilst his pocket doesn't even agree with such service I only date rich man, and I am truly pampered only poor men want this
Excatly ! What I see everyday is crazy, rather be single and happy all my life ! My neighbors, a little nice lady you can see the pain in her eyes, literally, her husband is a*sholes, I know he beat her. He play the good father infront of everyone. But I know is not because her wife talk to us, he telling her she can't do nothing against him because "he know all the laws etc". She ask us food even when she were pregnant, because he don't give her anything ! I want to help her but I don't know how to help, 😢 I don't want to czuse problem and "being on her bussiness"etc
help her in the best way possible you can help her in secret like helping her to look fo4 ways to gain finances without him knowing then you should help her to start planning a way out of that marriage. it is best you try your best to help her escape that marriage cus if the man leads her to her death IT WOULD BE SOMETHING THAT COULD BOTHER YOU PROBABLY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE all because you are too scared to help her@JaneDoane
1:02 and while she’s doing all that he’s not even looking at her because he’s too busy texting his side chicks and liking the posts of Instagram models.
My mom chose to dedicate & submit herself to her husband...an abusive cheater, who had kids outside the marriage, never cared to shower her w/ affection or even took her on a date & abadoned her by running off back to Africa after inflation hit the USA. She didn't tell me not to be like her, I KNEW I would NEVER do it. To this day she will complain about him but sticks by him. I prioritize MYSELF before any damn body. Nobody is exempt. Works just fine for me.
I just realized they didn't bother to say it bc they didn't thing anything else was possible. They believed the way it was was the ONLY way bc THAT is what they were told. They never knew what they were told lies.
@@ShielaM-p1w also many mothers, grandmothers were not educated or traveled. The smart aunties left and never came back ....there was NO internet then.
My sister dated her prince charming for 5 years, he was the modern african man. Everything you could want in a man today, they got married and he turned into a typical traditional african man, their marriage lasted a year, he really wanted to humble her, when she was pregnant with their twins and facing complications, he would tell her to get on with whatever chores she was expected to do as she was not the first woman to ever get pregnant. She left him only after a year and some months into the marriage. 12years later and my nephews don't have a relationship with him because he is of the view that my sister should not have left the matrimonial home if she wanted the children to grow up with a father.
As a fellow African, granted it may not be all of them, but I REFUSE to ever deal w/ one ever again. Even the ones born here still carry those traits. Nope. Can't do it.
I am so sorry to hear that they don't have their father in their lives because of his stupid choices. However, having had a USA-version of this happen to me, now that our sons are grown men, both married, I have learned that my *sons are honorable, thriving, decent men of God **_Because their dad wasn't part of their lives_** to contaminate them.* We know that all things work together for the good of those who love The Lord and are the called according to His purpose, but we don't always realize that part of that "good" is God removing from our lives, and sometimes our children's lives, those who would make them terrible human beings. I am grateful that your sister had the strength to walk away and have a better life for herself and her sons. God bless you all!!!
I was raised by a single mother who was a diva!! She never relied on a man and did her own thing. I have always wanted to be just like her. I miss her dearly 🥹❤️💯
Me too,i find it hard relying on ppl since from a very young age the situation home taught me to be A strong independent woman.long live my swt mama and may the lord bless and protect u accordingly
As an african, i would never ,will never be my mother.she is a beautiful strong gorgeous woman and am a witness of her pain and suffering and it took her years to regain control of her self and she told me that she is proud that am a first born who isnt the submissive type.there is somethimg peaple forget when u grow up in abusive households daughters would never see there fathers in the eyes of a daughter but in the eyes of a woman in the prospective of an abusive guy. thats the difference.
I believe in the 85% to 15% rule. I'm at peace, growing and happy with my life 85 percent of the time. I will NOT sacrifice my 85% looking for the 15 percent missing. Might be 15% chaos 😂😅 Y'all be safe out here.
The lady at 5:47 sums everything up; they do not see Mothers/ women as human that is why some boys or men do not ""allow"" their mums to date (if the dad is no longer around) or marry someone else. That has always bothered me. Like she is just a thing that gives and gives and requires no replenishing. I can't stand it.
You said nothing but the damn TRUTH!! But the son's usually have no issue with their Dads remarrying, though! I've seen it so many times! The selective outrage, accountability, or double standards are insane! Smdh
@leveticus1461 then you need to have a heart. Have you ever met bullies and their victims, nobody wants to be bullied, it's obviously the man who is forcing her. Everybody loves comfort and love, when you see someone being treated that way have the heart of empathy for them. They don't want to be there their oppressors did it to them.
Priscilla everything you said is 🎯💯💯💯. Unfortunately I married an westernized but old school cultured African man, I’m AA and he turnout to be just like his father a highly educated cheater. Keep in mind the mom is also super educated but she put up with so much BS ie infidelity, outside kids which she helped raised etc🤦🏾♀️. Whenever I would speak to his mother about problems in the marriage it was always directed at something I should do to fix it. Her words: it’s the women that makes a marriage work, wtf 😳. You’re right she wanted me to suffer like she did with her triffling ass man baby son she raised. I’ve already checked out of the marriage mentality, emotionally and have filed for DV. I have intentionally cut off him, all the in-laws and anyone who deal with him. He is a covert narcissist and doesn’t deserve to be with any human. I am more than happy to deal with his absence over everything🤷🏾♀️😂.
@Priscilla_Boye I’m sure it is and probably been going on for some time. I realized the fake sisters follow their narcissistic brother and what he says goes. I blocked all of them including the mother. They know I’m not one for intimidation so no one is going to get in my face for anything. They really fooled me because I thought his family were good people but turned out to be the opposite. I found out he is living a double life when visiting Ghana all with his sisters help. Everyone of them have or had terrible relationships too, no surprised there. I truly believe he doesn’t like women, just tolerate them because of what women do for him. He is not my problem anymore and I hope my African sister figures him out sooner than later and kick him back to the curb where he belongs 😂🙌🏾🙌🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
I’m so sorry you had to go through that I am also married to A African man but his parents are deceased so I truly only had to deal with his sister but I thank God that he is open minded I had. A little trouble with his sister but I put her in check fast and told him look I’m not from Africa I don’t tolerate that we are a partnership and I told him either me or his sister and cut his sister off and she doesn’t call or communicate with us. At all and I am very grateful But I am glad some African women are waking up and breaking out of this mindset because all of that cultural mindset made selfish narcissistic men or little man boys 😂❤
I am not pregnant and I am not even doing this. Lord have mercy! On her knees, and he's not even looking at her. Not even a thank you. On top of that she is very very much pregnant. This is slavery
Exactly. It cant work both ways. When they get a flu they act like they were hit by bus and they are in a coma😂. Overdramatic babies. Then us we can handle monthly cramps, sickness, and childbirth.
I guess because they had seen their mothers and grandmothers tired, betrayed and used enough. And the latter had a reason to go around telling them: You have to study and be financially independent from your husband! Over and over again. That's my experience as a Polish woman raised in Poland. I think my African friends have experienced something similar. Am I wrong, my dears?
My mom had good husband but still when he died she suffered and saw how hard it's to survive without education so she banned to even talk about marriage if we don't have degrees 😂
My mother told me not to even think about marriage before I turned 30 first and have Mt first degree! I followed her advice and am safe, secure, and happy single now. I realized I would have regretted marriage if I didn't have a way out as I do now. If I marry, it will be on my terms and with a way out in case his mask falls off❤
1000% as a woman raised by a strong African woman. I don’t want to be like my mother and I know my mum wants better for me and my sisters too. She also taught my brothers to contribute to the household, although some lessons didn’t quite stick 😂 God forbid I end up with a man like my father. May that day never come. I refuse to struggle with 5 kids. Let me try my best to thrive with my two cats.
I'm Arab and my Mom told me from a young age dont fall into the trap she did. I keep this with me every day of my life. I went and got my education and stand on my own two feet and treat and spoil myself. I stopped dating 2 years ago after I got my heartbroken by the man I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I have made it a daily task to de center men. I am even considering getting my fallopian tubes removed because I do not want children.
I understand sis but think about the tube thing there is nothing wrong whit you having a kid by yourself there is sperm you can go and buy and you get to read about the guy and so on so dont think having a kids is a negative becuse marrige is a negative most of the time its like i told my sister we may not want to get married but that dosent mean we wont have kids you can have kids and you can control how they grow up but you might change youre mind in the future and there are options.
I understand sis but think about the tube thing there is nothing wrong whit you having a kid by yourself there is sperm you can go and buy and you get to read about the guy and so on so dont think having a kids is a negative becuse marrige is a negative most of the time its like i told my sister we may not want to get married but that dosent mean we wont have kids you can have kids and you can control how they grow up you might change youre mind in the future and there are options but its youre body youre choice.
This reminds me of this time I complained to my mother about my father and all she had to say to me was :"you must submit to your father", needless to say I refused. I told her to stop acting and thinking that she is in a polygamous marriage, she is the only one married to him. I resent both of them, I feel like they ruined my childhood.
Right on point!!! I truly believe the family that raises such men and encouraging such behaviours should ALSO be shamed. It is especially sad that it's the mothers that are primarily responsible for this. Treating their sons like they are some god is very irritating. It continues to breed such terrible behaviours. Unfortunately, I'm already seeing such behaviours in my brother😢 And it's all my Mumm's fault
Yup. And, I don’t want to minimize how hard it can be to go against culture and possibly your spouse and other family and raise sons differently. But, someone is going to have to eventually.
@ if she doesn’t like you enough she can marry her son. I can’t stand mothers who extend their shallow mindsets to other people’s children. If you don’t think I will treat your son right , please marry him .
Hearing these young women express themselves gives me hope for the future. If men are not going to approach women as equals, if men are just looking for cooks, maids, and childbearers than partners with whom they can build a life, they can look elsewhere. Brava, ladies! Thes same goes for the young men, too. Fantastic.
I thought that was a very powerful statement she made. It is quite pathetic and weak of men to target and break women to satisfy his ego. Go tussle with other men!
Men have a false sense of power. The fact that they cry about submission all day everyday shows that their position is inorganic. If you have to force and coerce and punish someone to respect you, that means you are the weaker person.The true power is and has always been the woman. As the veil becomes thinner and the eyes of women becomes clear from the brainwashing and social conditioning of society, all these rubbish would come to an end.
One of the many reasons that I will NEVER EVER be like a traditional African mum is because of the glorification of suffering that takes place in most African households. Our mothers will go through hell but are expected to take pride in it. There’s nothing good about suffering. I understand the sentiment behind it but I would much rather not live my life like that.
It's just like song-Paris Paloma - labour "All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid Nymph then virgin, nurse and a servant Just an appendage, live to attend him So that he never lifts a finger 24∕7, baby machine So he can live out his picket fence dreams It's not an act of love if you make her You make me do too much labour"
Lol in my country if a man is sweet and kind to his wife, he is said to be under charms because men are not supposed to love their wives😂 glad things are changing somehow
Sister, I am Zambian, and a man was dragged for buying his wife a car. His sisters and mother were the biggest haters, saying he is under a "petticoat government." Whenever a man is a good husband, it's mostly women who claime that the wife used black magic instead of being happy for her.
Even women back then, fought back. That is the silent part that people over look. There was so much bitterness back then, to the point, that men didnt live as long. When my cheating father had a terminal illness, my mom became the worst caretaker, and let the guy die. And she is happily living off his pension. So be careful what you wish for. Dominating another human being, NEVER WORKS. People fight back, they just do not talk about it.
I remember getting loud with my ex fiancé once saying “I am not your mother!” And both him and his dad think his mistreatment of me is ok, and it’s crazy of me to leave.
Same here in the states. The women were here raising kids, taking care of home, doing everything alone while the dad's were not around..either running the streets, having other with that they had kids with, not working but the women would be working more than 1 job just to stay afloat. The girls were watching this type of thing and did not want lives like this . Because of this now the men say all blk women are masculine and use it against us. That is right, they need to do better than their father's did. We women do not have the energy to raise these manchildren. Both here and back at home in Africa the men are conditioned to act as if these types of attitudes are the norm. It is not. It is abuse. 😢
For me it wasn’t an argument but a bit of back and forth disagreement. She kept pushing me to accept less and less, especially if I wanted to “be with ‘our’ 🤢 men” I was like, “have you seen the stats” (for blk women, not even African women but black American women!) settling is a loosing game. We need to learn how tf to vet and position ourselves to get what we want
I don't feel sorry for her at all. She is foolish for serving him. I wouldn't give two fks what a man expected. He could starve for all I care. He should be serving her or kick rocks.
The Mothers did not have a choice decades ago...we do. I am West-Indian American. My Father has 7 kids and I am the only one he raised bc he married my Mom. He has hurt so many women, he has openly said he feared for who I would marry, and fears my spouse might change if I become pregnant. I married a great Asian man, I dumped my Nigerian BF in med school (whose papers I was helping write)...
I don’t know why men are still tone deaf to this concept. The same way he wouldn’t have the same engagement, activities and expectations with his best friend vs his boss. Two completely different roles and they act accordingly. Don’t know why they expect us to do the role of their mothers and partners. That role of your mother was and a one and done and I am NOT the one!
They just want what their dads and grandpas had .... Is now their turn, and they think if My dad found a woman like My mom, and My grandpa found a woman like grandma PF COURSE incan find a woman that Center me, baby me, do everything at Home and give me sex, i deserve it .. Thats their dreams, not the modern woman dream tho 😂😂😂 ... The issue is that men also are very much delusional, cuz they want a trad wife but want their wife to be 50-50 , thats delusional, the only reason women were trad wifes was cuz men paid everything!!!! Now they want to ignore that beautiful part , cuz is convinient for them ... Modern women paid 50 ... Imaging that, being that ridículous, thinking a modern woman would want that
Idk why a lot of African American men (eather online or real life)deny the colorism, sexism, futurism, texturism, Adultification ect. is in Africa as well.
Priscilla! I love your content! I just had to say that! Thank you for consistently keeping us abreast of these important conversations happening weighing our community! 💕
Speaking for myself: my father was mentally, psychologically, physically, verbally & financially abusive towards my mom & me to a certain extent. So i decided i would never be in a marriage like hers. I have healed, but im soo scared of men i run at the sight of conflict . Im not confrontational by nature so there's that. I hope i won't be alone for the rest of my lfe.
I’m blaming the mothers. New paradigm should be to educate new parents against raising such kids, and loving our daughters and sons equally. Challenging them equally, praising them equally, celebrating them equally, training them equally. Anything less, as a society, should respectfully remind said parents.. but everyone is scared of everyone, and being uncomfortable.. so we will never truly grow…
Don’t think it’s so simple. I read that independently of how a mother treated her son, the son looks to male role models and sees how men in general treat women, and as masculinity is basically based on making himself feel bigger by making women feel smaller, a man raised by a feminist woman might still get into the idea that women should serve him. Better chances if the father actually treats the mother like an equal
Once upon a time she thought she'd left her abusive arranged marriage, only to end up with another man that depended on her to provide for us. I love him, but he was distant and unambitious. She was mocked for selling in the streets when she was married in a tribe where it's people are suppose to be rich(stereotypes🙄). She pretended it was all okay until she laid down all her pain when I was old enough to understand. It hurts, because once upon a time I looked around at all the toxic men around me and thought my own father had been different. Now, I can't trust any of them.
Eh, American relationships are no walk in the park but a woman kneeling to serve her husband dinner is not mainstream here at all. It's not socially acceptable.
I think it’s an insult to insult the woman that lived like that so you could live like this. Most mother’s actively want their child to be better than them that’s why they made the sacrifices. In those days men provided and woman nurtured.. that’s why mums tended to stay most of the time but now there’s different type of men who don’t protect and provide and women are providing for themselves so they not hanging around.
(Who benefits from the marriage?) In those days n still today men in relationships are still procreating outside their relationship/marriage Through a daughter's eyes she see her mother sacrificing, compromising, selfless devotion and basically putting her life on the backburner......I don't think the daughters are insulting their mothers.....they're expressing there is more to life than being a wife to an unworthy man....Risking your life through childbirth to do 95% of the child-raising Sons on the other hand, will benefit from having a woman like their mother bcuz this is what they expect from all women/relationships
1) Y.W. used to choose a pattern n then build up a set of china over many years. Y.W. don't want to do that any more. 2) Making clothing from scratch is labor intensive; w/o it, we die in winter outside e tropics. Now that labor falls onto machines; we hav CHOICES. We r no longer living in a society where there was only 1 choice, n if u didn't want 2 do it, u often died. 3) We can talk 2 each other n r no longer isolated. What works in 1 area may not work in another, but it can spark ideas; we not only hav choices, but we hav meta-choices as well: we hav choices ab e choices available 2 us bc we communicate w/ each other. Many women hav embraced this change; many men hav not n r now fighting against it. But it is a futile fight: choice is far better than no choice. We just don't want what they want, n we hav e freedom to do sth different, so we will.
11:58 What he said at this point is an eye opener, basically everything he said. I am not going to be your merry maid and cook, especially to somebody who is not ambitious in life.
The pregnant woman could go into early labour....so dangerous to treat her this way. Abuse...straight up. In other countries the husband would go to jail for child endangerment. Men want a free pass to abusing women and children.
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I don't know why men don't realize that feminist movement was started by our grandmothers who realized they got the short end of the deal. We grew up watching our mothers, aunties, cousins in struggle love relationships and we learned from that. Whether the elderly women came right out and said don't do it or they pushed you to be educated and independent, the lesson was there if you chose to see it. I will always, unapologetically, set the standards in my relationships and always make sure my needs are recognized and met or else i leave. I chose to not abide by that misogynistic nonsense anymore.
Some of us who grew up with both parents know that we would’ve actually been better off with just the single mother. The type of relationship the modelled for us is so so toxic
My mom was FBA so was my dad they been married till death did them part. But one thing my moms told me dont let no man give you money or shop for you because the min they get tired or mad they will stop. So she always said God bless the child that has its own. I dont mind being traditional but it’s gotta be a respect.
My mother doesn’t even want me to marry someone like my father My friends mothers too 😂 the same mothers they brag about I remember watching a video from a woman she’s educated and has everything don’t know if she divorced her husband but she always tells her son to not be like his own “father”
Things have changed, this is 2024 not 1800’s . Those days are gone. Them mothers who are babying them sons; good luck. Somebody else daughter is not your mother.
The first part had the man saying "whoring around" before the other guy checked him 🤦🏽♀️. Its like any woman not slaving away should be tagged a whore smh
@1:00 Imagine doing all that and he doesn’t even look up from his phone at her. No acknowledgement whatsoever. Is THAT what I’m shop to aspire to. Because there doesn’t seem to be any benefit there for her at all. 😬 😬😬Yikes
Heavily agree with everything stated here. Videos like this usually blame the mothers for staying or enabling and put the responsibility on women saying they need to raise their future sons better… I always wonder, what are the father’s role in this? How about they need to be better men, better people and set better examples for their children? For some reason that’s never mentioned. And it fails to address all the generations of men all over the world who behave this way already. Women refusing to put up with this kind of crap is why you’re seeing push back like “the loneliness epidemic.” If nothing changes for the people that are adults now you’re gonna have a lot more unhappy, abusive marriages and certainly not sons being raised any better. I also wish they were as straightforward as you described at the end of the video. Would save a lot of grief. A lot of these men won’t come out and say they want someone like their mom or hate their mom but you have to pick it up from their language and behavior. Especially the “modern” types who know what you want to hear and are happy to play someone else until they hook you. Gotta keep your eyes and ears open these days.
“Stop looking for mothers , in other people’s daughters “
I need a T-Shirt!!!!!!
Yes, please!! Smdh 🤦♀️ 💯
Oh man, I felt so bad for the pregnant woman.. This is the time she should be pampered and enjoying her pregnancy. 🤦🏾♀️
Yeah and he didn’t even look at her
@@kevinkagombe542 sure she is very happy 😂😂😂 was that a smile I saw😂😂😂 no she was struggling to get up. But I guess women are like animals to you so you will never have empathy towards them.
@@kevinkagombe542Would treating his wife like a person kill him?
She is literally growing his child. But I guess the way she had to put her hand back to support her back while getting back up doesn't at all indicate any difficulty to you.
@@kevinkagombe542 Kevin whatever you say, a pregnant woman must rest she must rest, this, what we just saw is a servant serving a King
It is not a King and her Queen
African men tend to treat their sidechicks like Queens and their wives mere slaves to attend to their every little need and want whilst his pocket doesn't even agree with such service
I only date rich man, and I am truly pampered only poor men want this
I don't feel sorry for her. She's bending down to serve a man who she knows his trash. I blame her for serving him. He would starve if it were me.
They know their mothers suffered and they don’t care. They think it’s their turn for the free labor that their mothers provided.
Excatly ! What I see everyday is crazy, rather be single and happy all my life ! My neighbors, a little nice lady you can see the pain in her eyes, literally, her husband is a*sholes, I know he beat her. He play the good father infront of everyone. But I know is not because her wife talk to us, he telling her she can't do nothing against him because "he know all the laws etc". She ask us food even when she were pregnant, because he don't give her anything !
I want to help her but I don't know how to help, 😢 I don't want to czuse problem and "being on her bussiness"etc
help her in the best way possible you can help her in secret like helping her to look fo4 ways to gain finances without him knowing then you should help her to start planning a way out of that marriage. it is best you try your best to help her escape that marriage cus if the man leads her to her death IT WOULD BE SOMETHING THAT COULD BOTHER YOU PROBABLY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE all because you are too scared to help her@JaneDoane
1:02 and while she’s doing all that he’s not even looking at her because he’s too busy texting his side chicks and liking the posts of Instagram models.
Exactly not even a thank you
Rel so pathetic and humiliating...
He would probably treat a waitress with more respect.
My mom chose to dedicate & submit herself to her husband...an abusive cheater, who had kids outside the marriage, never cared to shower her w/ affection or even took her on a date & abadoned her by running off back to Africa after inflation hit the USA. She didn't tell me not to be like her, I KNEW I would NEVER do it. To this day she will complain about him but sticks by him. I prioritize MYSELF before any damn body. Nobody is exempt. Works just fine for me.
Exactly 💯 Always put yourself before a man.
+1
+2 east side stand up!
I just realized they didn't bother to say it bc they didn't thing anything else was possible. They believed the way it was was the ONLY way bc THAT is what they were told. They never knew what they were told lies.
@@ShielaM-p1w also many mothers, grandmothers were not educated or traveled. The smart aunties left and never came back ....there was NO internet then.
Ah ah! That is my mother's type, NOT my type!😂 I know that's right.
It's the ahha for me lawd
🤣😂 Chi…
I ain't mothering no one but the baby I pushed out my womb ❤
Said everything ❤❤❤❤😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This all of this
Say it again 🗣️
That's ditto for me.
How do you think the cycle starts? 🤨
I am so happy my African sisters are opening their eyes. Patriarchy runs so deep in Africa and they are overcoming!! 🥰💜
My sister dated her prince charming for 5 years, he was the modern african man. Everything you could want in a man today, they got married and he turned into a typical traditional african man, their marriage lasted a year, he really wanted to humble her, when she was pregnant with their twins and facing complications, he would tell her to get on with whatever chores she was expected to do as she was not the first woman to ever get pregnant. She left him only after a year and some months into the marriage. 12years later and my nephews don't have a relationship with him because he is of the view that my sister should not have left the matrimonial home if she wanted the children to grow up with a father.
Am happy atleast he is not in and out of their lives bc that complicates things more
As a fellow African, granted it may not be all of them, but I REFUSE to ever deal w/ one ever again. Even the ones born here still carry those traits. Nope. Can't do it.
He tried to play the long game and still ended up short. What a disgrace of a human. Deceived her until they were wed, and then the mask came off.
I am so sorry to hear that they don't have their father in their lives because of his stupid choices. However, having had a USA-version of this happen to me, now that our sons are grown men, both married, I have learned that my *sons are honorable, thriving, decent men of God **_Because their dad wasn't part of their lives_** to contaminate them.* We know that all things work together for the good of those who love The Lord and are the called according to His purpose, but we don't always realize that part of that "good" is God removing from our lives, and sometimes our children's lives, those who would make them terrible human beings. I am grateful that your sister had the strength to walk away and have a better life for herself and her sons. God bless you all!!!
Don't be sorry. They are clearly better off without him@@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460
I was raised by a single mother who was a diva!! She never relied on a man and did her own thing. I have always wanted to be just like her. I miss her dearly 🥹❤️💯
All love❤
Mine too, miss her SO much. But grateful for the lessons in independence she taught me! I bet your Mom is proud of you and who you're becoming Queen!
Me too,i find it hard relying on ppl since from a very young age the situation home taught me to be A strong independent woman.long live my swt mama and may the lord bless and protect u accordingly
Funny this is growing up I’ve always wished my mother was a single mother.
As an african, i would never ,will never be my mother.she is a beautiful strong gorgeous woman and am a witness of her pain and suffering and it took her years to regain control of her self and she told me that she is proud that am a first born who isnt the submissive type.there is somethimg peaple forget when u grow up in abusive households daughters would never see there fathers in the eyes of a daughter but in the eyes of a woman in the prospective of an abusive guy. thats the difference.
I believe in the 85% to 15% rule. I'm at peace, growing and happy with my life 85 percent of the time. I will NOT sacrifice my 85% looking for the 15 percent missing. Might be 15% chaos 😂😅 Y'all be safe out here.
The lady at 5:47 sums everything up; they do not see Mothers/ women as human that is why some boys or men do not ""allow"" their mums to date (if the dad is no longer around) or marry someone else. That has always bothered me. Like she is just a thing that gives and gives and requires no replenishing. I can't stand it.
You said nothing but the damn TRUTH!! But the son's usually have no issue with their Dads remarrying, though! I've seen it so many times! The selective outrage, accountability, or double standards are insane! Smdh
OMG This!!!! My ex was the same way growing up, so his mum didn't bring anyone around him!
If I did this 0:42 in front of my husband he would not eat or drink anything off that tray. Lol. He would know that I lost my mind 😂
😂
😆❤
🤣😂💯
Mine would have me tasting that , calling 999, taking samples for the hospital and getting me in a strait jacket 😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I feel sorry for the pregnant woman.
Right lol if she doing all this pregnant imagine how much more she has to do when she isn't
@Shay-rx4xu so sad. Women are getting married to kids.
He didnt even look at her and say "thank you" smh zero acknowledgement
I don't feel bad because she accepted to be treated like that.
@leveticus1461 then you need to have a heart. Have you ever met bullies and their victims, nobody wants to be bullied, it's obviously the man who is forcing her. Everybody loves comfort and love, when you see someone being treated that way have the heart of empathy for them. They don't want to be there their oppressors did it to them.
Priscilla everything you said is 🎯💯💯💯. Unfortunately I married an westernized but old school cultured African man, I’m AA and he turnout to be just like his father a highly educated cheater. Keep in mind the mom is also super educated but she put up with so much BS ie infidelity, outside kids which she helped raised etc🤦🏾♀️. Whenever I would speak to his mother about problems in the marriage it was always directed at something I should do to fix it. Her words: it’s the women that makes a marriage work, wtf 😳. You’re right she wanted me to suffer like she did with her triffling ass man baby son she raised. I’ve already checked out of the marriage mentality, emotionally and have filed for DV. I have intentionally cut off him, all the in-laws and anyone who deal with him. He is a covert narcissist and doesn’t deserve to be with any human. I am more than happy to deal with his absence over everything🤷🏾♀️😂.
So happy for you ❤️ have they started the smear campaign yet? 🤣🤣🤣
@Priscilla_Boye I’m sure it is and probably been going on for some time. I realized the fake sisters follow their narcissistic brother and what he says goes. I blocked all of them including the mother. They know I’m not one for intimidation so no one is going to get in my face for anything. They really fooled me because I thought his family were good people but turned out to be the opposite. I found out he is living a double life when visiting Ghana all with his sisters help. Everyone of them have or had terrible relationships too, no surprised there. I truly believe he doesn’t like women, just tolerate them because of what women do for him. He is not my problem anymore and I hope my African sister figures him out sooner than later and kick him back to the curb where he belongs 😂🙌🏾🙌🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
I’m so sorry you had to go through that I am also married to A African man but his parents are deceased so I truly only had to deal with his sister but I thank God that he is open minded I had. A little trouble with his sister but I put her in check fast and told him look I’m not from Africa I don’t tolerate that we are a partnership and I told him either me or his sister and cut his sister off and she doesn’t call or communicate with us. At all and I am very grateful But I am glad some African women are waking up and breaking out of this mindset because all of that cultural mindset made selfish narcissistic men or little man boys 😂❤
@@tonirowe1975And very abusive as well smh
Well done as it should.
I am not pregnant and I am not even doing this. Lord have mercy!
On her knees, and he's not even looking at her. Not even a thank you. On top of that she is very very much pregnant. This is slavery
Yes. That`s not even how servants are expected to act, it`s how slaves are expected to act.
“I am not a baby” 😂😂😂😂 a lot of men want to be babied yet they want to be respected.
They are man babies. They just don't want to admit it. 😂
I'm a witness to this.......If they hurt 1 finger, their whole body is in pain
Exactly. It cant work both ways. When they get a flu they act like they were hit by bus and they are in a coma😂. Overdramatic babies. Then us we can handle monthly cramps, sickness, and childbirth.
@Passionately😂😂😂😂fruits
😂😂😂😂😂
I guess because they had seen their mothers and grandmothers tired, betrayed and used enough. And the latter had a reason to go around telling them: You have to study and be financially independent from your husband! Over and over again. That's my experience as a Polish woman raised in Poland. I think my African friends have experienced something similar. Am I wrong, my dears?
No your absolutely right.
My mom had good husband but still when he died she suffered and saw how hard it's to survive without education so she banned to even talk about marriage if we don't have degrees 😂
Wow what 😮
So without a degree she doesn’t get to move on in life wow
@@tonirowe1975 am genuinely what do you mean am confused
@@tonirowe1975obviously she meant that her mum struggled financially because of the lack of education
My mother told me not to even think about marriage before I turned 30 first and have Mt first degree! I followed her advice and am safe, secure, and happy single now. I realized I would have regretted marriage if I didn't have a way out as I do now.
If I marry, it will be on my terms and with a way out in case his mask falls off❤
I met a Kenyan whose mother died from working so hard but he still thinks she had a good life.
Everything but acknowledgment and accountability smh 🤦🏾♀️
I do not recommend Kenyan men
Olodoooh
1000% as a woman raised by a strong African woman. I don’t want to be like my mother and I know my mum wants better for me and my sisters too. She also taught my brothers to contribute to the household, although some lessons didn’t quite stick 😂 God forbid I end up with a man like my father. May that day never come. I refuse to struggle with 5 kids. Let me try my best to thrive with my two cats.
My question is if boys and girls grow up in the same household HOW do the boys NEVER see their mothers pain.
because they are not raised to care
They are being told is normal, most times the women themselves say it example, this is women task.
I will answer that. How many hours are they at home without going to the game center for games
We're always in the kitchen with them
At a point our brothers start screaming at us like our dads do our moms
I'm Arab and my Mom told me from a young age dont fall into the trap she did. I keep this with me every day of my life. I went and got my education and stand on my own two feet and treat and spoil myself. I stopped dating 2 years ago after I got my heartbroken by the man I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I have made it a daily task to de center men. I am even considering getting my fallopian tubes removed because I do not want children.
I understand sis but think about the tube thing there is nothing wrong whit you having a kid by yourself there is sperm you can go and buy and you get to read about the guy and so on so dont think having a kids is a negative becuse marrige is a negative most of the time its like i told my sister we may not want to get married but that dosent mean we wont have kids you can have kids and you can control how they grow up but you might change youre mind in the future and there are options.
I understand sis but think about the tube thing there is nothing wrong whit you having a kid by yourself there is sperm you can go and buy and you get to read about the guy and so on so dont think having a kids is a negative becuse marrige is a negative most of the time its like i told my sister we may not want to get married but that dosent mean we wont have kids you can have kids and you can control how they grow up you might change youre mind in the future and there are options but its youre body youre choice.
You don't need to remove your tubes girl. It's okay as it is ❤
@Fabiziiii i don't want kids at all.
@Violet-fg9db no it isn't. I'm not risking pregnancy.
I know this is off topic but can we talk about how beautiful and articulate these women are. I am so proud of this generation. 😍😍😍😍😍
This reminds me of this time I complained to my mother about my father and all she had to say to me was :"you must submit to your father", needless to say I refused. I told her to stop acting and thinking that she is in a polygamous marriage, she is the only one married to him. I resent both of them, I feel like they ruined my childhood.
I can relate to this
Right on point!!! I truly believe the family that raises such men and encouraging such behaviours should ALSO be shamed. It is especially sad that it's the mothers that are primarily responsible for this. Treating their sons like they are some god is very irritating. It continues to breed such terrible behaviours. Unfortunately, I'm already seeing such behaviours in my brother😢 And it's all my Mumm's fault
Omg!!! I'm the only girl, middle child of 5 children! My mother absolutely does this! It gets on my LAST NERVES!!! SMDH
Yup. And, I don’t want to minimize how hard it can be to go against culture and possibly your spouse and other family and raise sons differently. But, someone is going to have to eventually.
Me all I know is I will be an African mother in law’s worse nightmares.
I also don't think I can handle a relationship like that. I'd just end up in prison if she try me..
As an African woman , I would have been but my Mother-in-Law was amazing.
I am one already. She cant handle it. Very narcissistic woman!
@ if she doesn’t like you enough she can marry her son. I can’t stand mothers who extend their shallow mindsets to other people’s children. If you don’t think I will treat your son right , please marry him .
Gbam
Hearing these young women express themselves gives me hope for the future. If men are not going to approach women as equals, if men are just looking for cooks, maids, and childbearers than partners with whom they can build a life, they can look elsewhere. Brava, ladies! Thes same goes for the young men, too. Fantastic.
No lol. I don't want to. THE END.
😂
As they say on Kdrama’s Silo
Me too, I’m always like. I ain’t doing it, and I just don’t.
She said y r men fighting for the power that wasn't taken from them n 6:18 i think it's to stroke his ego when they get someone to submit
I thought that was a very powerful statement she made. It is quite pathetic and weak of men to target and break women to satisfy his ego. Go tussle with other men!
Men have a false sense of power. The fact that they cry about submission all day everyday shows that their position is inorganic. If you have to force and coerce and punish someone to respect you, that means you are the weaker person.The true power is and has always been the woman. As the veil becomes thinner and the eyes of women becomes clear from the brainwashing and social conditioning of society, all these rubbish would come to an end.
Get well soon, Queen!
I’m glad that women are willing to tread their own path in life.
Thank you ☺️
Praise the ancestors African women globally have woken up
The ancestors are dead, nothing to thank them for
One of the many reasons that I will NEVER EVER be like a traditional African mum is because of the glorification of suffering that takes place in most African households. Our mothers will go through hell but are expected to take pride in it. There’s nothing good about suffering. I understand the sentiment behind it but I would much rather not live my life like that.
It's just like song-Paris Paloma - labour
"All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid
Nymph then virgin, nurse and a servant
Just an appendage, live to attend him
So that he never lifts a finger
24∕7, baby machine
So he can live out his picket fence dreams
It's not an act of love if you make her
You make me do too much labour"
You said it!
Prefilled ooo "go and marry your mother" "go and marry your sister" diabolical I right deh with you oo👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿🤣🤣😆😆
My grandfather and my dad thought me to be independent and make my own money! They knew men were not a plan.
Aht aht 🛑✋🏾 that is my mothers type, not MY type!!
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I refuse to be with a man who says “I want a woman like my mom” ok good luck. See you later
Never see you again ❤
Lol in my country if a man is sweet and kind to his wife, he is said to be under charms because men are not supposed to love their wives😂 glad things are changing somehow
Yoh! What country is this so I can avoid?! ✍️
Sister, I am Zambian, and a man was dragged for buying his wife a car. His sisters and mother were the biggest haters, saying he is under a "petticoat government." Whenever a man is a good husband, it's mostly women who claime that the wife used black magic instead of being happy for her.
In Nigeria. he is called "woman wrapper".
@@msylvinisouth africa sisi😂 haven’t you heard “udlisiwe ke lo”
Even in my country Malawi😢
Even women back then, fought back. That is the silent part that people over look. There was so much bitterness back then, to the point, that men didnt live as long. When my cheating father had a terminal illness, my mom became the worst caretaker, and let the guy die. And she is happily living off his pension. So be careful what you wish for. Dominating another human being, NEVER WORKS. People fight back, they just do not talk about it.
@@CoderCoder-px4bd I read about husbands who would disappear or die mysteriously.....during those times. The wives were aware and had their own plans.
Im hapi to c my Afrikan sistas Also awakenings 👏 👏 . Caribbean lady watching.
“That is my mother’s type” on God lol she liked that sh!t. I don’t. So act accordingly.
I remember getting loud with my ex fiancé once saying “I am not your mother!” And both him and his dad think his mistreatment of me is ok, and it’s crazy of me to leave.
9:26 This man is speaking so much sense. Our male counterparts need to hear this. Respect!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Im so proud of you guys!
I had a massive argument with my mum about this and why I am no longer interested in dating African men 1:26
Same here in the states. The women were here raising kids, taking care of home, doing everything alone while the dad's were not around..either running the streets, having other with that they had kids with, not working but the women would be working more than 1 job just to stay afloat. The girls were watching this type of thing and did not want lives like this . Because of this now the men say all blk women are masculine and use it against us. That is right, they need to do better than their father's did. We women do not have the energy to raise these manchildren. Both here and back at home in Africa the men are conditioned to act as if these types of attitudes are the norm. It is not. It is abuse. 😢
!!!!!!
For me it wasn’t an argument but a bit of back and forth disagreement. She kept pushing me to accept less and less, especially if I wanted to “be with ‘our’ 🤢 men” I was like, “have you seen the stats” (for blk women, not even African women but black American women!) settling is a loosing game. We need to learn how tf to vet and position ourselves to get what we want
The only time my dad ever cooked for us was because my mum left the home after he hit her. Yes, it happened more than once. God forbid.
0:46 no way, no. never! I feel bad for her but I’m grateful for the reminder not to settle for crazy shi like that
I don't feel sorry for her at all. She is foolish for serving him. I wouldn't give two fks what a man expected. He could starve for all I care. He should be serving her or kick rocks.
12:20 a man with sense😂😂❤
Yes telling them to grow up lol we all can't stay forever young lol
Basically a unicorn in this era
Dear men. It's my life and I'll do what I want. K, bye.
The Mothers did not have a choice decades ago...we do. I am West-Indian American. My Father has 7 kids and I am the only one he raised bc he married my Mom. He has hurt so many women, he has openly said he feared for who I would marry, and fears my spouse might change if I become pregnant. I married a great Asian man, I dumped my Nigerian BF in med school (whose papers I was helping write)...
AMEN!! "I'm not from my mom's generation 😒 So I don't have to settle"
Ironically, “My Mother In-Law” (Nollywood) was just posted on YT a few days ago. 🤣 It was good.
I don’t know why men are still tone deaf to this concept.
The same way he wouldn’t have the same engagement, activities and expectations with his best friend vs his boss. Two completely different roles and they act accordingly.
Don’t know why they expect us to do the role of their mothers and partners. That role of your mother was and a one and done and I am NOT the one!
I don't think they understand what a woman actually is.
They just want what their dads and grandpas had .... Is now their turn, and they think if My dad found a woman like My mom, and My grandpa found a woman like grandma PF COURSE incan find a woman that Center me, baby me, do everything at Home and give me sex, i deserve it ..
Thats their dreams, not the modern woman dream tho 😂😂😂 ... The issue is that men also are very much delusional, cuz they want a trad wife but want their wife to be 50-50 , thats delusional, the only reason women were trad wifes was cuz men paid everything!!!! Now they want to ignore that beautiful part , cuz is convinient for them ... Modern women paid 50 ... Imaging that, being that ridículous, thinking a modern woman would want that
I enjoy seeing content about women in other countries. Good job.
Idk why a lot of African American men (eather online or real life)deny the colorism, sexism, futurism, texturism, Adultification ect. is in Africa as well.
Another great video! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Thank you
Priscilla, hope you keep feeling better. 💖
Priscilla! I love your content! I just had to say that! Thank you for consistently keeping us abreast of these important conversations happening weighing our community! 💕
Speaking for myself: my father was mentally, psychologically, physically, verbally & financially abusive towards my mom & me to a certain extent. So i decided i would never be in a marriage like hers. I have healed, but im soo scared of men i run at the sight of conflict . Im not confrontational by nature so there's that. I hope i won't be alone for the rest of my lfe.
I’m blaming the mothers. New paradigm should be to educate new parents against raising such kids, and loving our daughters and sons equally. Challenging them equally, praising them equally, celebrating them equally, training them equally. Anything less, as a society, should respectfully remind said parents..
but everyone is scared of everyone, and being uncomfortable.. so we will never truly grow…
Exactly what am doing her, both boy and girl beside me in the kitchen sharing task together.
Don’t think it’s so simple. I read that independently of how a mother treated her son, the son looks to male role models and sees how men in general treat women, and as masculinity is basically based on making himself feel bigger by making women feel smaller, a man raised by a feminist woman might still get into the idea that women should serve him. Better chances if the father actually treats the mother like an equal
And thank you for the video.
Once upon a time she thought she'd left her abusive arranged marriage, only to end up with another man that depended on her to provide for us. I love him, but he was distant and unambitious. She was mocked for selling in the streets when she was married in a tribe where it's people are suppose to be rich(stereotypes🙄). She pretended it was all okay until she laid down all her pain when I was old enough to understand.
It hurts, because once upon a time I looked around at all the toxic men around me and thought my own father had been different. Now, I can't trust any of them.
I love this video ❤. Very true as an African girl in some aspects
This is women overall that feels like this not just African women.
I think it's a traditional thing in Africa and worse!
nobody said otherwise... this video just focus on a specific area ...
Eh, American relationships are no walk in the park but a woman kneeling to serve her husband dinner is not mainstream here at all. It's not socially acceptable.
While that is true, we're not focused on other women here.
Read problems in African history precolonial times… this is a more specific issue. So please don’t defect from its focus!
5:34 She is hilarious 😂😅
I love her 😂
5:30 lmao I'm in love with this video. I need to follow this creator
12:10 oh so a grown man that actually thinks like his age exists??? Im flabbergasted 😮
I'm so proud of the woke African women out there....viva my generation ❤
My mom told me to not repeat her mistakes 😂
I think it’s an insult to insult the woman that lived like that so you could live like this. Most mother’s actively want their child to be better than them that’s why they made the sacrifices. In those days men provided and woman nurtured.. that’s why mums tended to stay most of the time but now there’s different type of men who don’t protect and provide and women are providing for themselves so they not hanging around.
(Who benefits from the marriage?)
In those days n still today men in relationships are still procreating outside their relationship/marriage
Through a daughter's eyes she see her mother sacrificing, compromising, selfless devotion and basically putting her life on the backburner......I don't think the daughters are insulting their mothers.....they're expressing there is more to life than being a wife to an unworthy man....Risking your life through childbirth to do 95% of the child-raising
Sons on the other hand, will benefit from having a woman like their mother bcuz this is what they expect from all women/relationships
I'm a man but damn i love ur content no lies detected love from southern Africa ❤
1) Y.W. used to choose a pattern n then build up a set of china over many years. Y.W. don't want to do that any more.
2) Making clothing from scratch is labor intensive; w/o it, we die in winter outside e tropics. Now that labor falls onto machines; we hav CHOICES. We r no longer living in a society where there was only 1 choice, n if u didn't want 2 do it, u often died.
3) We can talk 2 each other n r no longer isolated. What works in 1 area may not work in another, but it can spark ideas; we not only hav choices, but we hav meta-choices as well: we hav choices ab e choices available 2 us bc we communicate w/ each other.
Many women hav embraced this change; many men hav not n r now fighting against it. But it is a futile fight: choice is far better than no choice. We just don't want what they want, n we hav e freedom to do sth different, so we will.
1:08 yes understood 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
Fr fr
11:58 What he said at this point is an eye opener, basically everything he said. I am not going to be your merry maid and cook, especially to somebody who is not ambitious in life.
The elder brothers wife may want to.. no issue.Its really their Mother's fault.
The pregnant woman could go into early labour....so dangerous to treat her this way. Abuse...straight up. In other countries the husband would go to jail for child endangerment. Men want a free pass to abusing women and children.
I love this.
0:54 smdh how sad. Poor woman
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I don't know why men don't realize that feminist movement was started by our grandmothers who realized they got the short end of the deal. We grew up watching our mothers, aunties, cousins in struggle love relationships and we learned from that. Whether the elderly women came right out and said don't do it or they pushed you to be educated and independent, the lesson was there if you chose to see it. I will always, unapologetically, set the standards in my relationships and always make sure my needs are recognized and met or else i leave. I chose to not abide by that misogynistic nonsense anymore.
Do majority of men just lack comprehension? When they rant about women and their moms, ask them if their mom was happy. It shuts them up fast
Some of us who grew up with both parents know that we would’ve actually been better off with just the single mother. The type of relationship the modelled for us is so so toxic
Where is your hair from? Absolutely stunnnnnning!
Find the one that works for you and not for what society thinks you should have❣️
1:05 Yes, hire a maid a chef and sw. You can have it all. Gosh they don’t see how weird it is to expect that from another human being.
Excellent video!
My mom was FBA so was my dad they been married till death did them part. But one thing my moms told me dont let no man give you money or shop for you because the min they get tired or mad they will stop. So she always said God bless the child that has its own. I dont mind being traditional but it’s gotta be a respect.
The lady at 5:04 is always funny to me.
Congrats my African sisters
Get em ladies 💪!
My mother doesn’t even want me to marry someone like my father
My friends mothers too 😂 the same mothers they brag about
I remember watching a video from a woman she’s educated and has everything don’t know if she divorced her husband but she always tells her son to not be like his own “father”
Things have changed, this is 2024 not 1800’s . Those days are gone. Them mothers who are babying them sons; good luck. Somebody else daughter is not your mother.
I reject this reality in the name of Jesus, my husband will worship the ground I walk on.
Jesus (As) can't help you,only God can
The first part had the man saying "whoring around" before the other guy checked him 🤦🏽♀️.
Its like any woman not slaving away should be tagged a whore smh
Mother and Daughter, trauma is real. Although there is communication and forgiveness on both sides ❤ Much Love people
NEVAAA, rather be single all my life, God is my whitness !!! What I see everyday is crazy ! God forbit !
@1:00 Imagine doing all that and he doesn’t even look up from his phone at her. No acknowledgement whatsoever. Is THAT what I’m shop to aspire to. Because there doesn’t seem to be any benefit there for her at all. 😬 😬😬Yikes
Heavily agree with everything stated here. Videos like this usually blame the mothers for staying or enabling and put the responsibility on women saying they need to raise their future sons better… I always wonder, what are the father’s role in this? How about they need to be better men, better people and set better examples for their children? For some reason that’s never mentioned. And it fails to address all the generations of men all over the world who behave this way already. Women refusing to put up with this kind of crap is why you’re seeing push back like “the loneliness epidemic.” If nothing changes for the people that are adults now you’re gonna have a lot more unhappy, abusive marriages and certainly not sons being raised any better.
I also wish they were as straightforward as you described at the end of the video. Would save a lot of grief. A lot of these men won’t come out and say they want someone like their mom or hate their mom but you have to pick it up from their language and behavior. Especially the “modern” types who know what you want to hear and are happy to play someone else until they hook you. Gotta keep your eyes and ears open these days.
I totally agree with the title of the video thats why am here. I also don't want it , i love my mom but i never want all that . 😏