Every DMs worst nightmare

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  • Опубликовано: 5 янв 2025

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  • @generalseal6948
    @generalseal6948 4 месяца назад +6377

    I have no mouth and I must eat crack laced mayonnaise

  • @JuanzerZ
    @JuanzerZ 4 месяца назад +2667

    "you wake up and find the ptetrofolk dead... Overdose.."

    • @SilverFoxSpirit97
      @SilverFoxSpirit97 4 месяца назад +214

      "A mayonnaise overdose"

    • @yeastisabeast3547
      @yeastisabeast3547 4 месяца назад +63

      My question is, how much was laced? Like how much crack would you need to make the guy OD since they've been feeding him this for quite some time

    • @JuanzerZ
      @JuanzerZ 4 месяца назад +88

      @@yeastisabeast3547 it was a Mayonnaise overdose, not a crack overdose!

    • @PandaRizzArg
      @PandaRizzArg 4 месяца назад +85

      Everyone turn their heads to see the party necromancer, and he smiles 😂

    • @JuanzerZ
      @JuanzerZ 4 месяца назад +31

      @@PandaRizzArg oh god...

  • @NomiNexus
    @NomiNexus 4 месяца назад +8112

    The fact that it’s called an alchemy jar and that the DM described what happened as “Hannibal Lecture type shit”, I thought they were gonna forcefully convert the Petrofolk’s limbs into mayo and make him eat his mayonnaise-ized limbs

    • @branhan215124
      @branhan215124 4 месяца назад +592

      "Mayonnaise-ized" is the most cursed word I think I've heard in years, damn

    • @hernehaugen6878
      @hernehaugen6878 4 месяца назад +8

      ​@@branhan215124Mayo-nized

    • @feliciavale4279
      @feliciavale4279 4 месяца назад +156

      Okay that would have been worse.

    • @Jimmybrichie
      @Jimmybrichie 4 месяца назад +153

      “It puts the mayonnaise on its skin, or it gets the hose again.”

    • @catman9222
      @catman9222 4 месяца назад +80

      No one specified what type of egg was used for this mayonnaise...

  • @benjaminehren7965
    @benjaminehren7965 4 месяца назад +7514

    I mean it’s an easy enough thing to end, say that the petrafolk died of malnutrition

    • @aj_the_infamous1013
      @aj_the_infamous1013 4 месяца назад +1412

      cleric "i revive the petrafolk using one of the diamonds i bought"

    • @elivcdxv1852
      @elivcdxv1852 4 месяца назад +518

      ​@@aj_the_infamous1013 no respite for the dead

    • @somerandomjackal8135
      @somerandomjackal8135 4 месяца назад +943

      @@aj_the_infamous1013Soul has to be willing, I dont think a soul can have a physical crack addiction.

    • @Novamancer
      @Novamancer 4 месяца назад +484

      ​@@aj_the_infamous1013the soul is unwilling to return.

    • @argyldeathbrand6192
      @argyldeathbrand6192 4 месяца назад +371

      @@aj_the_infamous1013in addition to the willing thing others have mentioned, in ToA resurrection does not work at all. Thats one of the motivations for the plot, find and end (or steal depending on faction) whatever is both preventing new resurrections, and killing people who were previously resurrected.

  • @kimberlyramin
    @kimberlyramin 4 месяца назад +3239

    Well, there is the option of making Mayo Jar an "important" person to his people, and sending stronger, sneakier petrofolk to come rescue him, and they take the Alchemy Jug with them because he says he needs it.

    • @nickcarroll8565
      @nickcarroll8565 4 месяца назад +280

      Or the mayo jar breaks and he freaks out like a tweaker losing their stash.

    • @aaronimp4966
      @aaronimp4966 4 месяца назад +227

      If I were to choose that option, the Pteradons would swarm the party, capture the party, (yes, this part WILL be railroaded--Pteradons will just keep coming,) and the party will be muzzled, led around camp for entertainment at parties, and only fed with Crack-laced Mayo from their own Alchemy jar.
      Per Mayo Jar's request, of course.
      And, of course, the party will only be called by names that, in the Pteradon's native language, when the party finds out, have to do with Mayo production. But only the player who came up with this mayo idea will get the honor of being referred to as "Mayo Jar" in their native tongue.

    • @nmotschidontwannagivemyrea8932
      @nmotschidontwannagivemyrea8932 4 месяца назад +49

      Does the Alchemy Jug also produce the addictive substance? Or were the players buying or making that separately and mixing it in?

    • @olchum7605
      @olchum7605 4 месяца назад +57

      ​@@aaronimp4966I bet you love seeing dnd as DM vs Player

    • @aaronimp4966
      @aaronimp4966 4 месяца назад +13

      @@olchum7605 Try again.

  • @Valkmerr
    @Valkmerr 4 месяца назад +3151

    Born to like chocolate, force to eat mayo

    • @russellperry9902
      @russellperry9902 4 месяца назад +18

      Semper Fi!

    • @anonymouse2675
      @anonymouse2675 4 месяца назад +27

      And with Prestidigitation, You can make the Mayo taste like Chocolate...

    • @Carlos-ux7gv
      @Carlos-ux7gv 4 месяца назад +14

      ​@@anonymouse2675 my Wizard was a merchant, so I made him always carry a jar of a really spicy whisky. Later I procured a very ornate metal jar whose looks screamed "poison". With prestigitation I could make it taste as awful or good as my imagination wanted.

    • @kateshiningdeer3334
      @kateshiningdeer3334 4 месяца назад +7

      FWIW, eating mayo, lard, and butter are all decent survival strats in Project Zomboid. One of the players in the online group I watch bragged about eating Lard with Ketchup as "desperation food" in an emergency, LOL!

    • @anonymouse2675
      @anonymouse2675 4 месяца назад

      @@kateshiningdeer3334 One of my favorite negative traits to take in Project Zomboid is under weight, because you can fix it in only a couple days. Just eat a bag of dried beans, a stick of lard or butter, then chug a bottle of bourbon right before bed. Then just eat normally during the day. That's an extra 7000 to 10000 calories a day, on top of your normal food intake. Yeah, it fixes Underweight really quick... Then you`re just normal with no negative.

  • @Corvothing24
    @Corvothing24 4 месяца назад +4192

    There is like zero chance you can nutritionally survive of off mayo and crack 😭

    • @OfDaSouth
      @OfDaSouth 4 месяца назад +649

      i've got at least one uncle who would disagree with you there, pardner

    • @cannedsquasher5923
      @cannedsquasher5923 4 месяца назад +322

      You sure as shit wouldn't be healthy. But I'm fairly certain if you eat ENOUGH Mayo you could survive, a decent while.

    • @therickroller2358
      @therickroller2358 4 месяца назад +167

      As Ian Malcolm once said "no, I'm simply implying that uh, life finds a way" it won't be a good way or a long way but it is a way that can happen

    • @flakcannon722
      @flakcannon722 4 месяца назад +88

      The crack would off you before the malnutrition from only eating mayo would. It would be a slow and horrible decline.

    • @rhabeldibabeldi6812
      @rhabeldibabeldi6812 4 месяца назад +11

      Hate to say you are wrong but I've been doing that for nearly 7 years straight 😉

  • @otakuofmine
    @otakuofmine 4 месяца назад +2567

    idea how to solve this: GM sets up a long session. invite them to a meal. wait. til they are hungry. reveal, you only have mayo for them. (for extra fun lace it with MGM or coffeine)

    • @hangyoutubeworkersandceos
      @hangyoutubeworkersandceos 4 месяца назад

      >evil characters r forbidden
      But im chaotic good
      >U act evil
      So what? Not like there r rules about u changing my character and taking away my class features because of it.
      Zoomer dnd for children. We wouldn't want rules and limitations, now would we

    • @cephon6198
      @cephon6198 4 месяца назад +92

      They'll just order a pizza

    • @Dolritto
      @Dolritto 4 месяца назад +263

      ​@@cephon6198Och no, the doors are locked?! I don't remember doing that, where is the key?

    • @jacksin54
      @jacksin54 4 месяца назад +115

      Extra passive aggressive way of pointing out the problem

    • @otakuofmine
      @otakuofmine 4 месяца назад +18

      @@jacksin54 you realise this is a joke?

  • @rpghorrorstories
    @rpghorrorstories 4 месяца назад +2786

    Well, it was better than what I initially thought when I heard "mayonaise" and "Alchemy Jar" and "pterofolk." You see, I am not familiar with the item, so I thought it operated on Fullmetal Alchemist rules, and a pterofolk is a dinosaur, so I thought they were going to have the pterofolk lay eggs in order to make into mayonaise, and then forcefeed the pterofolk with the mayonaise made from her hopefully unfertilized eggs.
    Please note: I had not heard the full story when I started down that rabbithole.

    • @macabre_and_cheese
      @macabre_and_cheese 4 месяца назад +357

      you made it so much worse. thank you

    • @rpghorrorstories
      @rpghorrorstories 4 месяца назад +164

      @macabre_and_cheese It says something that giving them a demeaning name, starving them, feeding them only mayonaise, then getting them addicted to crack-infused mayonaise is a step up.

    • @arbikiuszelemelek3347
      @arbikiuszelemelek3347 4 месяца назад +38

      Yeah I was thinking along the same lines, and then it got worse instead

    • @lukelcs8934
      @lukelcs8934 4 месяца назад +22

      Same lol
      Dw, you’re not alone. Many others also have disturbed yet creative minds 🤣

    • @chitoo.250
      @chitoo.250 4 месяца назад +10

      Why . . would you assume that pterofolk eggs would come into this equation completely unprompted

  • @keithulhu
    @keithulhu 4 месяца назад +1390

    In my last group, I gave my players an Alchemy Jug. They subsequently used it to flummox a Giant Crocodile with a torrent of mayonnaise. It was epic!

    • @richardmartin6069
      @richardmartin6069 4 месяца назад +27

      Rule of cool, I get it. But I have to know, how does a 25+ foot croc get bewildered by a mere 2 gallons of mayo! Thats like a quart of a cubic foot at most! Must’ve nailed it in the eyes I guess haha!

    • @keithulhu
      @keithulhu 4 месяца назад +55

      @@richardmartin6069 Yes, and it was also a "rule of cool" thing where I allowed it to be a fire hose of mayo. Afterwards I told them not to count on that happening again.

    • @ryuaced
      @ryuaced 4 месяца назад +29

      Lol.. the "sweet release" of mayo from an alchemy jar, that has been building up for a long time as it wasn't used is a pretty hilarious scenario to me. One use unless you want to choose a liquid and wait 100 years to do it again.

    • @richardmartin6069
      @richardmartin6069 4 месяца назад +2

      @@ryuaced lmao

    • @kindlyevilbgm
      @kindlyevilbgm 4 месяца назад +12

      @@ryuacedThat jar was edging for 100 years…

  • @Pistonrager
    @Pistonrager 4 месяца назад +216

    Start by adjusting their alignments.

    • @sinclaire5479
      @sinclaire5479 3 месяца назад +28

      This is what I would do small adjustments over time just to get them to realize something is wrong as the world reacts to their actions

  • @Nealend86
    @Nealend86 4 месяца назад +197

    My brother absolutely despises mayo for some reason so when we picked up an alchemy jug in a game he was running he outright said that if we ever even thought about making mayo with it he would have the gods strike our characters down then and there.
    I found his over-reaction hilarious but I didn't dare attempt to call his bluff because I knew he wasn't bluffing.

    • @DishyLemon
      @DishyLemon 4 месяца назад +8

      Has he tried aoli or Japanese mayo?

    • @BHCloudIV
      @BHCloudIV 3 месяца назад +12

      Your brother is doing divine work

    • @leadandelion5127
      @leadandelion5127 2 месяца назад +5

      That is simple, mayo is gross. 😂

  • @grunglestink
    @grunglestink 4 месяца назад +329

    The funniest thing is that he can't take the alchemy jar away because one of the players is an artificer who can just make one as his infusion.

    • @mattk6719
      @mattk6719 4 месяца назад +2

      What a waste of an infusion tho. They're so limited it's infuriating. Artificer sucks.

    • @Awesomeflame16
      @Awesomeflame16 4 месяца назад +7

      ​@@mattk6719 can't artificer just be changed to be good?

    • @firekirby123
      @firekirby123 3 месяца назад +5

      ​@@mattk6719My Chef-based Artificer reading this comment: >:(

    • @Airin258
      @Airin258 3 месяца назад +1

      Are we sure it's an artificer? Could've been alchemist homebrew class, it was really popular some time ago

    • @sp1ky58
      @sp1ky58 2 месяца назад +1

      "Oh no a polar bear!" *dies*

  • @vituperation
    @vituperation 4 месяца назад +59

    Yeah, I guess that's messed up. At first, I thought that they were going to tie their victim up in a giant jar then slowly fill it with the mayonnaise. You know, like the petrofolk was some sort of pony figurine.

  • @anonymouse2675
    @anonymouse2675 4 месяца назад +937

    Mayonnaise is made from oil and egg. So, two gallons of mayo has something like 48,000 and some odd calories. While I have had entire parties survive on the mayo from an alchemy jug, that was entire groups and not a single individual.
    Short term, they will have to deal with the digestive effects of the Petrafolk chugging about a gallon of oil every day. It will not smell very good, and it will leave a trail everywhere...
    Middle term, that will be a very obese Petrafolk and will not be able to walk, so they will have to carry it everywhere.
    Long term, it will have a heart attack and die. 48 and some odd THOUSAND calories a day will do that to you...

    • @Thisious
      @Thisious 4 месяца назад +98

      they dont have to feed it ALL the mayo. 48000 calories means they only need to use the alchemy jugs daily charge once every 40 days or so!

    • @H240909
      @H240909 4 месяца назад +59

      @@Thisious Mayo spoils quickly. They’d either need to throw out gallons of mayo or just have the dino guy to eat it.

    • @XIIchiron78
      @XIIchiron78 4 месяца назад +6

      I'm reminded of that time LA beast chugged a liter of olive oil

    • @anonymouse2675
      @anonymouse2675 4 месяца назад +27

      @@Thisious They are trying to punish it, why would they hold back?

    • @anonymouse2675
      @anonymouse2675 4 месяца назад +4

      @@XIIchiron78 Now I have to look this up...

  • @deadlypandaghost
    @deadlypandaghost 4 месяца назад +78

    Paladin shows up. Gives them the dafuq look. Attempts to rescue him. IF they stop him a very upset group of inquisitors are going to show up asking very hard questions. 2 steps later they are the next campaign's villians.
    Genuinely though if you take issue with crimes against humanity, raise the issue when it starts or at least when your line is crossed. Communication is the key to a happy table.

    • @JJLom777
      @JJLom777 4 месяца назад +1

      Thank you! My point, exactly.

    • @ultimategabriel
      @ultimategabriel 4 месяца назад +11

      The surprising thing to me is that it seems like the mistreatment of a prisoner part isn’t the OP’s problem but rather having to roleplay a mayo-addicted “crackhead”.

    • @WildWhiteWolfy
      @WildWhiteWolfy 3 месяца назад +3

      Poor DM choice to unleash paladins most of the time

  • @SamBrockmann
    @SamBrockmann 4 месяца назад +109

    "I gave my players an alchemy jug [...]"
    There's where you done f***ed up, right there.

  • @CurlyJones
    @CurlyJones 4 месяца назад +220

    2:59 Oh no, they wouldn't be satisfied with just a replacement. They'll resurrect Mayo Jar and have a crack-mayo addicted undead Pterofolk under their personal command. That's when one of the players get the idea for an army, and well, they haven't realized it, but they've become the BBEGs of their own campaign

    • @ReinTenebres
      @ReinTenebres 3 месяца назад +25

      This is how I would like to see the story turn, whefe the party finds out the world sees them as the BBEG, and the original BBEG of the story actually becomes a good guy cause of how fucked up this party is.

    • @anthonysaenz5390
      @anthonysaenz5390 Месяц назад

      Lucky for the dm, in this campaign it specifically says nothing can be revived

  • @kristofladanyi3671
    @kristofladanyi3671 3 месяца назад +15

    DMs (and GMs): YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SAY NO.

  • @tamirsins
    @tamirsins 4 месяца назад +342

    The answer is simple, the petrofolk will die of sodium.
    Too much sodium.
    There is a mayonnaise limit, and even I, a mayo lover, am wary of it.
    Also I genuinely thought they were going to eat him with the mayonnaise

    • @nabra97
      @nabra97 4 месяца назад +23

      @@tamirsins the latter would probably be better; and when the thing party did is worse than cannibalism, it says something

    • @gelusvenn5063
      @gelusvenn5063 4 месяца назад +14

      You lightly coat the petrofolk in mayonnaise before you griddle them, it provides a crisp, golden crust to the exterior.

    • @hhjhj393
      @hhjhj393 4 месяца назад +8

      Mayo is so unhealthy when you think about it.
      High in cholesterol from eggs. High in fat from oil. High in sodium.
      It's just like the unholy trinity of heart health.

    • @crowgrabber_former_er5bb8yb2t
      @crowgrabber_former_er5bb8yb2t 4 месяца назад +4

      I thought they would waterboard the mayo jar with mayonnaise

    • @blkgravido
      @blkgravido 4 месяца назад +6

      Yeah they're prepping the pterafolk. I thought of foie gras, at least in my imagine the body of pterafolk can be used as basis for culinary expirements.

  • @williamlongshot972
    @williamlongshot972 4 месяца назад +23

    What’s funny is this is basically how Jurassic Park intended to contain their dinosaurs: by remaining the sole provider of a substance, without which the dinosaurs would die. The fact that it’s a pterodactyl person is just icing on the cake

    • @CloverBlast
      @CloverBlast 2 месяца назад +1

      Ah, the good old Lysine Contingency.

  • @philipmantos2544
    @philipmantos2544 4 месяца назад +97

    my players used mayonnaise to lubricate the strike pads of explosives as a way to disarm them.

  • @Cobb
    @Cobb 4 месяца назад +19

    This is great, my group is in Chult and our DM just gave us an alchemy jug. Sent our group this video as inspiration.

    • @anonymouse2675
      @anonymouse2675 4 месяца назад +6

      I have had multiple parties live on the mayo from an Alchemy Jug. Two gallons of mayo is roughly 48,000 and some odd calories. Or, if you have an empty container to put it in, then 4,000 calories a day for four people for three days... The Alchemy Jug also produces 8 gallons of fresh water every day. If you bring empty containers, then every few days just fill them all up. Prestidigitation can flavor the mayo to taste like almost anything... Including chocolate pudding, or raspberry mouse! It can also produce a gallon of honey, and four gallons of beer. Bring a bunch of biscuits! For dipping.

    • @JJLom777
      @JJLom777 4 месяца назад +3

      "Inspiration?". Really?

    • @FutureMan420Blazer
      @FutureMan420Blazer 26 дней назад

      And what happened? Lol

    • @Cobb
      @Cobb 26 дней назад

      @FutureMan420Blazer nothing, our friend who was DM'ing wasn't enjoying being a DM and so we ended the campaign before we got to do anything with it. Changed DMs and started a new campaign.

  • @jefthereaper
    @jefthereaper 4 месяца назад +18

    "Imagine what terrible things they could be doing with that magical item!"
    *The Way of the Drunken Fist Monk exclusively using it to create beer.*

    • @chrisflanagan7564
      @chrisflanagan7564 4 месяца назад +4

      We got one because we were going on a long voyage and were worried that the 4 tuns of wine might not be enough for the "Party Barge" that my Zealot Barbarian insisted on having built. "we have a ship, why would we need a second one?!" No no, this one is going to be like a big mobile stage, and party barge.
      Anyway, a tun of wine is a type of barrel. A 256 gallon barrel. We've got four of them... Which cost basically nothing compared to the price of that the GM made me pay for the Alchemy Jug... which I think another party member already had.
      Anyway it'll help provision the voyage, in case of a wine emergency

  • @gamingspacemonkey
    @gamingspacemonkey 4 месяца назад +21

    Mayo jar could, oh I don’t know, refuse to eat. Yes you’ll eat almost anything if you’re hungry enough, but counter point, violently depressed people tend to find the worst ways to… ease their suffering.

  • @GarryDumblowski
    @GarryDumblowski 4 месяца назад +127

    You know, i feel like this is a good time to point out that you can just leave. You can just tell the players thst you dont want to play Mayo Jar anymore and thst you are going to put him out of his misery by revoking his existence. Its allowed in the rules. 2:45

    • @moxiousch
      @moxiousch 4 месяца назад +37

      I was looking for this comment. It's a funny story, as a story. If it's an actual game and real people doing that, I'd just tell them we're not doing this anymore. Mayo guy dies of overdose and the players suffer vengeful spirits or something, this is super weird.

    • @JustinJossart
      @JustinJossart 4 месяца назад

      ​@@moxiouschA lot of modern DMs are afraid of exerting any authority and upsetting their players. They feel like any punishment for player douchebaggery is impeachment on player free will or something.
      I would give them a minus to all checks, start giving them psychic damage and actually start taking xp away after every rest. If they ask why? "You have no idea. Everything just feels harder."
      Let them flounder for a bit before giving the mayo maker a -10 Will Save to avoid gobbling the crack mayo himself.
      Turns out that they have enraged the Petro Goddess and she cursed them. To lift this divine curse, they either have to embark on some ridiculously long, difficult epic campaign to earn absolution. Or they can kill the goddess (if they try this, they'll all be killed.) All the while, THEY have to eat and drink nothing but crack mayo the entire campaign to dampen (but not remove) the effects of the curse. Even add dollops of it to their waterskins. Eating or drinking anything else, including potions, will result in 1d10 psychic damage.
      They want to be evil little shits? They can reap the consequences.... but in a fun memorable way. Five years from now, they'll talk about the Mayo Campaign where they had to liberate the Petro people from slavery and help them settle a new land where they would be safe and free.

  • @TogTeg
    @TogTeg 4 месяца назад +140

    That's some Redo-of-a-healer level bullshit

    • @mahbuddykeith1124
      @mahbuddykeith1124 4 месяца назад +42

      “Heal” (mayonnaise) “Heal” (mayonnaise) “Heal” (mayonnaise).

    • @Seagr4ss
      @Seagr4ss 4 месяца назад +11

      I was about to comment that. 😂

    • @AnonD38
      @AnonD38 4 месяца назад +13

      Nah, this is rather tame compared to redo of healer.
      The "Mayo Jar situation" is not (yet) at the level of revenge porn and Redo of Healer is far beyond of what revenge porn is.

    • @joserijalkasyasyaf9723
      @joserijalkasyasyaf9723 4 месяца назад +6

      ​@@AnonD38this hot rod, or my rod😂

    • @tio_john
      @tio_john 4 месяца назад +6

      ​@@AnonD38 the thing is that the people tortured the healer in a similar way, they gave him drugs and abused him.... At least the mayonnaise jar has his ass intact... For now.

  • @onyxgate1
    @onyxgate1 2 месяца назад +2

    The first thing that comes to my mind is
    MAYONASE ON AN ESCALATA GOIN UPSTAIRS SO SEE YA LATA, BYE BYE, TO THE SKY,NEVA SEN MAYONASE FLY SO HIGH, MAYOAYS,MAYONASE, MAYONASE.. ON AN ESCALATA.
    -thank you for sitting through this musical number.

  • @SilvanianPirateKing
    @SilvanianPirateKing 4 месяца назад +36

    One time my players were in Xilbalba. Specially the house of jaguars. Being the afterlife, if you die you just come back to the house you died in/most associated with. My fighter with a trident of fish command and speak with animals tried asking for directions from a fish. The fish was an asshole. So he used the staff to command him to jump out of the water where he fed 3 big birds. The fish would then spawn back in the same stream of water. Rinse and repeat. I still did the bit outloud, but my fighter was the only one who could understand the fish cursing.

    • @bluevines1303
      @bluevines1303 4 месяца назад

      Honestly deserved asshole fish

  • @thegeneraljohn2895
    @thegeneraljohn2895 4 месяца назад +3

    "In a rather upsetting turn of events, while lost in the haze of a nasty high, the Pterofolk bashed his brains out on the wall last night."

  • @YourNeighborNat
    @YourNeighborNat 4 месяца назад +90

    The thought that came to my mind was that this could be turned into a setup for that petrafolk becoming an antagonist...

    • @Draco_Alpha
      @Draco_Alpha 4 месяца назад +4

      oh that would be an interesting campaign.

    • @JJLom777
      @JJLom777 4 месяца назад +3

      Exactly! And, it sounds like they deserve it.

  • @awkwardbloom2728
    @awkwardbloom2728 4 месяца назад +41

    1:16 Oh boy, I misheard and thought THE First Mayo Jar

  • @TheMajesticSeaPancake
    @TheMajesticSeaPancake 4 месяца назад +134

    I abused this with a rogue, pointing out to the dm that it was invented relatively recently in history, after the assumed historical equivalent DND takes place in, and therefore my character "invented" mayonnaise, and was able to make a lot of money off of it. After becoming absurdly rich and continuing the adventure, she proceeded to stuff people's pockets full of mayonnaise and just generally use it as an annoying lubricant, it was beautiful.

  • @Domaik_
    @Domaik_ 4 месяца назад +46

    An evil patron presents itself to Mayo Jar and grants him powers enough to butcher the party and claim his vengeance

    • @atullis8007
      @atullis8007 4 месяца назад +19

      evil?

    • @DawnAfternoon
      @DawnAfternoon 4 месяца назад +6

      And we can even say that the evil patron gives his patronage to the most vengeance driven man he could find
      That would set him up to be an incredibly vicious antagonist

    • @antonzhdanov9653
      @antonzhdanov9653 4 месяца назад +2

      ​​@@DawnAfternoonNuh uh. Demons absolutely LOVE goblin warlocks bcs patronaging such dumb creatures always leads in the end to freaking inferno eruption and demonic incursion from demon overtaking tribe up to full scale fiend invasion.

  • @ArchGriff
    @ArchGriff 4 месяца назад +65

    This isn't even an issue if the DM truly didn't like what his players were doing. They could just say that an all-mayo diet killed it from malnutrition, ir the daily coke use killee it via heart attack. Or just have a powerful and not-deranged NPC take issue with the abuse and then either it stops or it's a jumping off point to new developments.
    If it is still happening, it's because the DM is enjoying it too(I know I would) or they've got no spine.
    The real, true "DM's worst nightmare" is actual drama and relationship stress between players at the table and that can't be solved by taking away a magic mayo jar.

  • @bluelfsuma
    @bluelfsuma 4 месяца назад +3

    When you realize your players are not the heroes. But the villains, motivated, if only by gold and convenience, to maintain the law.

  • @HistoricaHungarica
    @HistoricaHungarica 3 месяца назад +3

    Since it always produces a slushing sound, from the next encounter onward every enemy will have a sensitive hearing.
    They will abandon that jug asap.

  • @Kill3rballoon
    @Kill3rballoon 4 месяца назад +58

    The trick would be to threaten the players that if any of them die, they must play with Mayo Jar as their new character, hopefully that worry will cause them to start treating him in a less f-ed up way, and if not, at least it’ll be hilarious if one of them dies.

    • @gorgit
      @gorgit 3 месяца назад +16

      Theres no trick. Just tell them them that youre getting uncomfortable and that they should stop with that. Every single problem in dnd parties I ever heard, can be easily solved by: 'talk to them'

  • @picklegamin
    @picklegamin 4 месяца назад +31

    In our game, the dex build tried to seduce a jar to open, and captured a goblin, cried and pet him every time she interacted with him, but still had him carry all her gear and regularly used him as a ranged weapon. She threw him at a spider king! Thats right, a giant fucking spider monarch was damaged by a pudgy, three foot tall goblin thats been forcably cuddled and used as a projectile. When he died, i thought it would be over... i was wrong... they carried around his corpse for a few quests and whence apon finding an in need dwarf on the road to deliver milk and bread. They decided to foce him to join them and named him Gobby two. And yes, they very much used him as a thrown projectile aswell. I tried to make gobby more cheery than the original, but they just kept making his life worse, first they fed him scraps, then they shoved his head under water. By the end of the story, when they all died, i couldnt beore happy to stop voicing poor gobby.

    • @JD-wf2hu
      @JD-wf2hu 4 месяца назад +15

      This kind of nonsense is why I have a flat ban on torture at my table.

    • @Hearthfyre
      @Hearthfyre 4 месяца назад +13

      i did NOT know dnd players did this. its a game but fuckin hell

    • @MrMichiel1983
      @MrMichiel1983 4 месяца назад +5

      @@Hearthfyre Still depends on the player if its actually weird. If the player sees the DM responding they realize they have some power over the DM. To them the story is not real anyway, and perhaps they have been disinterested in the main arc... so who cares if they are "murder hobos".. to them it's more fun they can force the DM to adapt or react to stupid scenarios. If the group dynamics are healthy (ie. everybody in the group is having fun with going overboard and realizes that in real life they would have been Nazis) what's wrong with this? Also, murder hobos get murdered themselves pretty quickly. D&D worlds are strangely karmic and the DM can have a little fun too.

    • @Hearthfyre
      @Hearthfyre 4 месяца назад +1

      @MrMichiel1983 well yeah its a game ive heard worse on copypastas but im just used to dnd players taking the game to express themselves in another way or something lmao

    • @mikeesteves8427
      @mikeesteves8427 4 месяца назад +4

      what was their alignment? i dont think any non evil character could ever get over themselves to do something so cruel without a VERY good reason

  • @Reaperofsouls113
    @Reaperofsouls113 4 месяца назад +290

    Well if any are lawful good they're now lawful evil depending on cleric or paladin they either break their oath or lose connection with their God and if you wanna get extra with it. You can have paladin or clerics of good come across them see this and try to right the wrong peacefully if that doesn't work looks like they're about to die to some paladins and clerics

    • @ayoutubewatcher2849
      @ayoutubewatcher2849 4 месяца назад +34

      This just seems like "rocks fall, you all die" with extra steps.

    • @lorenzobuero7115
      @lorenzobuero7115 4 месяца назад +60

      ​@@ayoutubewatcher2849 i don't know much about d&d, but this idea sounds good to me, they are doing something really messed up and caracters that benefit from being good people could get afected negatively

    • @Reaperofsouls113
      @Reaperofsouls113 4 месяца назад +29

      @@ayoutubewatcher2849 it varies you can tilt fate against them as some gods attempt to smite what they see as a truly profane act (in my current campaign gods play alot more of role.) It doesn't have to go right away to true smiting but a lawful good paladin jailing and addicting a sentient creature and torturing it shouldn't be able to stay lawful good and depending on the oath it would mean breaking it which makes you an oath breaker and a cleric doing something their God would not stand for would take away their blessings.

    • @enriquejoseantequerasanche6180
      @enriquejoseantequerasanche6180 4 месяца назад +31

      ​@@ayoutubewatcher2849no, this is the normal amount of punishment for a "good" character enslaving a sentient creature and using it as a punching bag.
      "Rocks fall, everyone dies" means they die immediately without solution or fixing, this at least makes them realize "holy fπ©£, maybe we are thr baddies"

    • @enriquejoseantequerasanche6180
      @enriquejoseantequerasanche6180 4 месяца назад +19

      ​@@Reaperofsouls113they made paladins way too easy to play, they used to be a roleplay commitment, but now it's just "I turn to oathbreaker" and voila.

  • @berkaltuglu8140
    @berkaltuglu8140 4 месяца назад +7

    CIA D&D nights are wild

  • @LeafLotus17
    @LeafLotus17 4 месяца назад +7

    Unless your player is telling you they're increasing the drug dose in the mayo, have the petro get increasingly aggressive over time, asking, demanding and eventually attacking the party when they *can't* give it more mayo a day. IRL data will back why your NPC had such behavior from addictive substances. Use reptile to explain quicker progression.
    That, or give them a "Rick and Morty" dark matter recipe. Jar would destroy itself (maybe TPK) or the petro would see the source of its fix going nuclear and dive on the metaphorical grenade, problem solved

  • @danielrobinson7872
    @danielrobinson7872 4 месяца назад +14

    My fellow party member was an artificer and made a mayonnaise cannon. The alchemy jug was made out of a small pink leather bag we found in Curse of Strahd. It ended up like a spartan laser from Halo, except with mayonnaise.

  • @thebigoof5824
    @thebigoof5824 4 месяца назад +5

    An old DND group I was in received an alchemy jar.
    I had a half giant that willingly just flat out ate mayonnaise. Eventually I got kind of bored of this character so we agreed to kill him off via mayonnaise overdose.
    He was found in the back of a carriage stiff, dead and covered in the white stuff as well as mayonnaise.

  • @Rose-85
    @Rose-85 4 месяца назад +8

    If a monster eats the jug i am fully convinced one of them is gonna try to make the jug activate and fill the monster with mayo from the inside

  • @michaelcreech8957
    @michaelcreech8957 3 месяца назад +2

    “You awaken one morning to find your prisoner dead having succumbed to malnutrition and drug overdose… and your alignments all shift one step towards chaotic evil”

  • @O-bearer-mine
    @O-bearer-mine 4 месяца назад +5

    THIS IS JUST THE CONTEXT FOR REDO OF HEALER 😂😭

  • @jonskowitz
    @jonskowitz 4 месяца назад +9

    Remember, we're the good-guys!

  • @KiraAsakura14
    @KiraAsakura14 4 месяца назад +3

    "Worst thing to come out of an Alchemist Jar?"
    "Hmmm, that's probably the Philosopher's Sto-"
    "Mayo Jar."
    "Mayo Jar?"
    "It wasn't a Jar of Mayo."
    "Oh..."

  • @ethanrenckly
    @ethanrenckly 3 месяца назад +1

    I just joined a new chapter in an ongoing semi-homebrew D&D cinematic universe my new DM and his friends have crafted. Long story short, at least from what I've gathered, in some previous campaign in this cinematic universe, the party of the time broke the legs of a goblin, kidnapped him, named him Glorbo, stockholm syndrome kicked in eventually, the party formed the "goblin repatriation society" which eventually became what I can only describe as a war crime committing army of goblins (and I think some orcs), and Glorbo is now the leader of the goblin repatriation society. I'm sure I'm missing quite a few really dark but funny details, but I only just joined recently.

  • @pappanalab
    @pappanalab 3 месяца назад +3

    When they described this as “Hannibal Lecter shit” I really thought they were gonna make petrofolk egg mayo and make it eat that 😭

  • @OmnipotentNoodle
    @OmnipotentNoodle 3 месяца назад +2

    Solution is to have the players meet someone who sees them literally toruturing this man and just being like "wtf is wrong with yall im calling the wizard police"

  • @Frosty4427
    @Frosty4427 4 месяца назад +43

    This is when you introduce hero NPCs into the campaign to take down the party and free the hostage/slave. You do what you can to make your players feel reprehensible. Not in an unfun way, obviously, but an engaging way. Maybe they choose to do the right thing in the end, maybe not.

    • @JaceGameplay
      @JaceGameplay 4 месяца назад +11

      But if it's in a nonfun way is more fun bro.
      If my friends can make me roleplay an addicted dinossaur man for their fun they can take a single session of nonfun content for mine!

    • @AmbyrRavyn
      @AmbyrRavyn 4 месяца назад +2

      ​@@JaceGameplay well an unfun way likely means a tpk which if rail-roaded means days of progress lost just because

    • @AnonD38
      @AnonD38 4 месяца назад +1

      @@JaceGameplayThey literally can't do that tho, you did that to yourself.
      You are literally the DM.

    • @ЕрікПокідько
      @ЕрікПокідько 4 месяца назад

      ​@@JaceGameplaywhy not both? There is always solution that will be fun both for players and the dm

  • @ladyalicent705
    @ladyalicent705 4 месяца назад +2

    This has no business being as well voice acted as it is

  • @remember-amnesia
    @remember-amnesia 4 месяца назад +13

    moral of the story: don't give your players crack

    • @JaceGameplay
      @JaceGameplay 4 месяца назад +5

      Moral of the Story: find better friends

    • @remember-amnesia
      @remember-amnesia 4 месяца назад +4

      @@JaceGameplay this is just how d&d ends up working if crack is involved (i know from experience)

    • @AnonD38
      @AnonD38 4 месяца назад +2

      @@JaceGameplayOr just talk to your players when you are uncomfortable with something.
      That's literally your job as the DM.

  • @Beard_of_Thor
    @Beard_of_Thor 4 месяца назад +1

    I had a vampire barbarian in a campaign I was DMimg and he bought a big ol pig he named Guzzle. He used it to keep his blood cravings satisfied and due to his feeding it was his thrall. He would often call it by saying "Come! Guzzle"

  • @yujithelast7023
    @yujithelast7023 4 месяца назад +6

    that sounds like a pretty grim fate

    • @SirKnox
      @SirKnox  4 месяца назад +4

      Indeed it was

  • @Golden_Official100
    @Golden_Official100 2 месяца назад +1

    Blud got that Re:healer kind of treatment

  • @martinferrand4711
    @martinferrand4711 4 месяца назад +9

    Give it a cardiac issue and make it somehow break the alchemy jar

    • @anonymouse2675
      @anonymouse2675 4 месяца назад +5

      And the Artificer just makes a new one...

    • @JaceGameplay
      @JaceGameplay 4 месяца назад

      ​@@anonymouse2675they received the "Curse of the Obese Pterodon". All itens related to mayonnaise get broken when players touched it. The laugh of "Mayo Jar" is audible and causes 4d6 mental (psychic) damage in all the players.
      Fixed, God bless the Golden Rule.

  • @eleanorcarpenter37
    @eleanorcarpenter37 4 месяца назад +1

    My DM could only look on in horror as we used mayo as the solution for everything.

  • @jordanquast5
    @jordanquast5 4 месяца назад +5

    "the Scale-less one puts the mayo in the jar or it gets the hiss again" -an argonian to a nord in the 40th skyrim remaster 2025 rtx enabled.

  • @koibubbles3302
    @koibubbles3302 4 месяца назад +2

    That is actually the darkest most terrifying thing I have ever heard anyone do. Like it’s actually just so messed up I have a hard time laughing about it. There are some things that are just too weird to have your character do “as a joke” without starting to seem a little off yourself.

    • @reddytoplay9188
      @reddytoplay9188 3 месяца назад

      Don't look at the comment section if you find this too disturbing, the comments know of worse things that could have been done

  • @richardd3367
    @richardd3367 4 месяца назад +18

    War crimes? At least after his failed escape attempt they didn't use the jug to create *acid* and *burn his wings off*. (I've known some nightmare players...)

  • @clairdelune2400
    @clairdelune2400 4 месяца назад +3

    Because of this i too decided to give my players a alchemy jug :)

  • @justincancelosa5773
    @justincancelosa5773 4 месяца назад +2

    Paladin: “Hark! Young villager! My associates and I require all the eggs you can give us. We will pay handsomely.”
    Village boy: “w-why do you need so many eggs?”
    Paladin: “Mayonnaise dear boy 👿”

  • @snakerattleroll6678
    @snakerattleroll6678 4 месяца назад +31

    DM doesn't need to roll for Mayo Jar escaping. He can just say he escapes. And then, the rumors start to circulate, of bodies of strange chultish plant farmers going missing and turning up in odd places, seemingly having fallen from very high up, accompanied by bizarre screeching noises.
    You wanted a base head obese pterandon man? Here he is.

    • @mmfreshmeat2860
      @mmfreshmeat2860 4 месяца назад +8

      I dont think youd be attracted to the plant if all youve ever seen is the mayo. Just like smokers arent attracted to tobacco plants.

  • @Demonskunk
    @Demonskunk 4 месяца назад +1

    I played an annoying kenku named Dakka (he's named after his favorite sound, his machine gun turret) who had an alchemy jug. I almost exclusively used it to make Mayo, and used that mayo as the material component for my grease spell, which was just extremely oily mayonnaise. Nobody liked that. I managed to completely cover 2 guards in mayo and keep them slipping and falling on it for 2 turns, was magnificent.

  • @xaleypoo4779
    @xaleypoo4779 4 месяца назад +4

    Combine the consequences of eating two gallons of mayonnaise a day with an overdose.

  • @porakiyadraekojin3390
    @porakiyadraekojin3390 2 месяца назад +1

    Patrick Star: Is mayonnaise a war crime?

  • @AspirantVeeVee
    @AspirantVeeVee 4 месяца назад +80

    💖💖💖 WELCOME BACK SIR KNOX TELLER OF TALES 💖💖💖

  • @MegaLuigiXD
    @MegaLuigiXD 4 месяца назад

    One of the players I play with right now is using an alchemy jug to produce mass amounts of honey to make mead, but he's pivoted now to planning on using it to drown an NPC

  • @Novamancer
    @Novamancer 4 месяца назад +144

    Id start having people treat the party how they deserve based on their actions. Like monsters. Townsfolk and nobles not trusting them, shops may even close theur doors to them, maybe even have more petrofolk to fight the party, and if the petrofolk win, tell the players to create new characters, either to rescue their players, or to start anew with. Or, hell. Just as the DM tell them to stop. But then again I really dont fucks with evil campaigns or parties, just really not my thing.

    • @magicalfungi3206
      @magicalfungi3206 4 месяца назад +31

      even good campaigns with good players will have this kind of dark shit happen. The players in my current campaign are good people by most accounts, but have also enslaved orcs and slaughtered a family of owlbears to steal their egg... which was preserved using necromancy... so yeah... that baby aint gonna turn out right either. they may have also released an evil murderous doll locked away in the feywild... the pc that freed and held on to her died and now the doll roams free...
      even good parties commit warcrimes XD

    • @Brennsunn
      @Brennsunn 4 месяца назад +16

      ​@@magicalfungi3206 They're not good people anymore then 😆

    • @SaintJames14
      @SaintJames14 4 месяца назад

      Then you're a shit dm.

    • @hhjhj393
      @hhjhj393 4 месяца назад +4

      This all makes me laugh because of just how evil humans are, EVERY SINGLE TIME.
      Any time you think humans can just be good they always fail.
      You are like, "oh I will have a nice DnD group, we will all go on happy adventures, fight evil, etc.", then all the players do is murder, loot, pillage, enslave, torture, rape...
      We just can't ever have nice things.

    • @Novamancer
      @Novamancer 4 месяца назад +5

      @hhjhj393 I only have one player who ever used to qualify as that, but I have bent even him to a more neutral state. He may care only for his crew, but he is not actively evil. I will also always choose to have faith in people. There are good people out there but tragedy and negativity are more profitable so thats what the system wants to show you. If you want to see people being good and doing good all you have to do is go looking.

  • @HoggyMayhem
    @HoggyMayhem 4 месяца назад +1

    Nothing wrong with straight up refusing roleplaying torture. This is why lines and veils exist.

  • @jacopocarettoni6044
    @jacopocarettoni6044 4 месяца назад +7

    This is the moment you start to shift your player's alignment towards chaotic evil. Everything's funny until the paladin and cleric loses their spells.

  • @kurbisfurst5194
    @kurbisfurst5194 3 месяца назад

    The beauty of DnD, you will never encounter interesting stories like this in any normal videogame.

  • @eyllyssaunders5345
    @eyllyssaunders5345 4 месяца назад +18

    Jesus god that poor Dm. those players are simply too creative

    • @JJLom777
      @JJLom777 3 месяца назад +4

      @@eyllyssaunders5345 There's nothing "creative" about that. And, you've completely missed the point.

  • @ThatDMan87
    @ThatDMan87 4 месяца назад +2

    Full Mayo Alchemist

  • @joshelguapo5563
    @joshelguapo5563 4 месяца назад +16

    You could grow a pair and tell the party they can't torture a person in the game.

  • @Sketchcook81
    @Sketchcook81 4 месяца назад +2

    Now that is a creative group. Sound like a fun party to game with.

  • @Belladonna-x2c
    @Belladonna-x2c 4 месяца назад +4

    I'd say to look up Complex PTSD. Mistreated prisoners of war get a different type of PTSD, not from a single moment of terror but from an extended period of nonstop abuse.
    This petrofolk could start showing symptoms, and end up trying to "end the suffering". And of course, they are a ready ally of any enemies the players have who can contact them.

  • @emanuelacola726
    @emanuelacola726 4 месяца назад +1

    As a person said in the reddit post: "If you give your players an alchemy jar, let be sure that they are going to do some shenanigans with mayonnaise"

    • @mikeesteves8427
      @mikeesteves8427 4 месяца назад

      give enemies alchemy jars and let the mayo war commence

  • @samuels1123
    @samuels1123 4 месяца назад +3

    I don't think it's particularly healthy to consume 2 gallons of crack-mayo daily.

  • @MarylandFarmer.
    @MarylandFarmer. 4 месяца назад +1

    Makes me think it would be perfect for that salad recipe in how I met your mother when Marshall's mom say it needs 16 cups of mayo

  • @theofficerfactory2625
    @theofficerfactory2625 4 месяца назад +26

    Yay! A return of Sir Knox!

  • @HoffaFett
    @HoffaFett 4 месяца назад +1

    My brother in Christ, this is when you fudge a role...

  • @southanime
    @southanime 4 месяца назад +6

    r/dnd
    See that's your problem right there

  • @WildWhiteWolfy
    @WildWhiteWolfy 3 месяца назад +1

    As a DM I would roleplay the hell of this poor fella, making him look so utterly miserable and abused my players would have PTSD themselves. No poor ruling and falling rocks. Let them REALLY face their actions

    • @kotic79
      @kotic79 3 месяца назад

      Dude that's hardcore 😂

  • @thisaccountisntreal107
    @thisaccountisntreal107 4 месяца назад +19

    Dm once gave us a ship that could turn into a rowboat or a small wooden figurine of a ship depending on what words you said
    It was made for us to have a ship we could always carry for a pirate campaign
    We used it as a ship grenade

    • @JaceGameplay
      @JaceGameplay 4 месяца назад +5

      "Needs to be in contact with a large enough river/sea to work."
      Fixed. You guys try to use as a granade and lose your ship damaging the figurine.

    • @ЕрікПокідько
      @ЕрікПокідько 4 месяца назад +1

      This is exactly why i love dnd. The possibilities for creativity are endless!

  • @deadmanwalking5748
    @deadmanwalking5748 2 месяца назад

    This is why I love being a DM. Nothing beats the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by your party's "creativity "

  • @haydenTenno-
    @haydenTenno- 4 месяца назад +14

    The power a Bag of holding and an alchemy jug is much greater than most people realise.
    Especially when you turn it inside out.

    • @forthehonorforge4840
      @forthehonorforge4840 4 месяца назад

      Or all outside in?

    • @haydenTenno-
      @haydenTenno- 4 месяца назад

      @@forthehonorforge4840 that doesn’t work.

    • @forthehonorforge4840
      @forthehonorforge4840 4 месяца назад

      @@haydenTenno- it's only a matter of perspective. Unless it's not and the result is "Power word scrunch" on a universal scale. Or is that how bags of holding made in the first place?

  • @Cortanis001
    @Cortanis001 4 месяца назад +2

    Well... At least the DM has an out. Since they're not feeding the thing properly he can effectively "rocks fall" the poor thing via malnutrition as the kidneys and liver just shut down.

  • @p.fish_63
    @p.fish_63 4 месяца назад +5

    The way you do it by having some external party connected to ptetrofolk ambush the party

  • @jjurss7263
    @jjurss7263 4 месяца назад +1

    My Artificer made an alchemy jug, they also abuse it constantly

  • @athera5783
    @athera5783 4 месяца назад +9

    I remember mixing holy water and alchemy jar mayonnaise and force feeding it to a tied up PC using a funnel as a form of "exorcism". This beautiful story ended with a straight up mafia style execution using concrete shoes on the same PC. Of course, said PC was innocent. Details, details!

  • @CrowCrojoINTJ
    @CrowCrojoINTJ 2 месяца назад +1

    my D&D campaigns have the world destroyed by nukes and has demons overrun the world but I still think this could top some of the content in my campaigns

  • @rattvisa
    @rattvisa 4 месяца назад +4

    I once made a crew of prison escapees we were helping flee on boats eat nothing but mayo and the occational potato for two months in a campain when i played an artificer. If a person was doing a really good job that that day they may have recieved honey instead of mayo. This has been dubbed ”the mayo invident”. I have since been banded from picking achemy jug as a arteficer infusion and i’m not allowed to say the word mayo, when in close proximity to person who dm’d that game.

    • @anonymouse2675
      @anonymouse2675 4 месяца назад

      How about the words aoli and tartar sauce?

  • @EvilrobotAM
    @EvilrobotAM 27 дней назад +1

    Summon 150.000 kobolds on your party

  • @Corvus-Xoriat
    @Corvus-Xoriat 4 месяца назад +6

    I deadass thought the players were gonna somehow have the mayonnaise made out of petradon eggs.
    Now I can save this for later

  • @Noname-tm4ni
    @Noname-tm4ni 4 месяца назад

    This is why I love DND as long it within the rules people can do whatever they want

  • @jonasholm-mw5bn
    @jonasholm-mw5bn 4 месяца назад +3

    Maybe say a week goes by and then it dies of malnutrition. You just can’t live of mayonnaise.