I looked after my mum who had dementia, for fifteen years , luckily I was able to get enough support to keep her in her own home. This video was very moving and sad . The fact that many people with dementia get ill treated is terrible because they become like children again and deserve to be well cared for , not slapped or shouted at
Hi Richard, I looked after my Mum who had Alzheimer's for a number of years but like you found we reached a point where it became impossible to look after her anymore... - we had to make the heartbreaking decision to put her into a care home as Dad had vascular dementia and then of course dealing with the guilt once she was in there. Again like you found my Mum sat there all day watching daytime TV and before you know it she was unable to walk anymore...😢 The worse thing for me was that my Mum no longer recognised me in the last six months of her life😔 In good health before Alzheimer's claimed her and her personality she had a fantastic sense of humour and apart from being my Mum was my best friend... So it was all v difficult and so sad to see her deterioration. I try to remember her before she was ill that was what got me through after she passed.
This is Richard's personal remembrance of his late father so why can't people allow him to do this without giving him a thumbs down. Your still engaging with the video and RUclips. It doesn't bother Richard to much but it does me especially this video. Your probably the same people all the time that does it so why don't you just do one. Well done Richard and thanks for sharing this personal journey and look round your fathers house
Thumbs down nun too see what do you mean I follow your sentiments though odd as for what reason any way nothing to thumb down as Richard such a lovely man as bless his father
Hi Richard what an open and honest touching video.I have worked in mental health and my wife ,as a nurse ,spent some years working in a nursing home. What I felt I wanted to say to you ,is, in both our experiences that yes the mind fades , however the feelings remain.Your dad would of known he was loved. Your caring for him is love made manifest . We both send you our love . Thank you for your videos they are a real gift to us all out here.
Richard, your a credit to your Dad. This sad period in life along with all the troubles and worries it must have brought is now past. I wish you happier times ahead. 😉 👍
My wife and I lived with and looked after my mother for the final 6 years of her life, during which time she had dementia. She finally passed away in May 2020. Like your father she forgot how to swallow at the end and we would be attempting to feed and water her with a pipette. The end lasted a similar time, about 5 days. It was very traumatic. You are changed from the experience and you're right to say that it does make you grow up a notch. We don't live in denial but it is hard to think of her in depth as it nearly always brings on a tear or two. Good luck with coping with the loss.
I can identify with so much of of what Richard says. I looked after my parents, my father with dementia (though amazingly physically fit until 91yrs) and my mother with disability and completely dependent. The weight of responsibility was hard. Then the emotional process of sorting through their lifetime’s belongings. I sometimes wonder how I coped.
That was a lovely little house & garden your dad lived in. I would be so happy to live out my life in a house like that, so much potential for the next owners! Thank you for sharing with us all Richard.
Thanks for sharing this Richard. Bless you sir. The first time I saw your father in a video and learned of the situation I felt an instant connection, a sad unfortunate one, but a connection nonetheless. My grandfather was like a dad to me, and my best friend too. We went everywhere together, I never had a day away from him the last 7 years of his life, we spent every minute of every day together. I lived with him 14 years, and had to give up even part time work in 2013 as he couldn't be left on his own. His character was still there most of the time, we explored England, much like yourself. Getting out seemed to help grandads dementia a bit. Sadly the exploring stayed closer and closer to home as the dementia took a hold. We'd go miles every day, me pushing his wheelchair. Thanks for bringing up topics many won't speak of, like wiping bums. Grandad was also a boxer in his day, he never forgot how to throw a good punch, as I learned the hard way haha. I'd take a hundred punches off the heavyweight champion of the world, if I could just have him back though. Infact I often felt proud of the strength he'd find. I wish we had got to show you around the Romney marshes. I spent years of my life exploring them with him. Well done for the job you did with your dad, thank you for sharing and mentioning topics many shy away from. My upmost respect and condolences.
What a wonderful man you are, Ed. Thank you watching my nonsense. I am thrilled to have a connection with you, sir. You Granddad was a champ in every way!
Thank you for sharing your deeply personal video Richard. I understand what you have been through with your Dad. My Dad died 10 years ago with vascular dementia, it’s heart breaking. Plus his second wife was difficult too .
So many of us can relate to what you have been going through Richard. My parents both lived into their 90's. Mum had dementia for the last couple of years of her life, and thankfully Dad only suffered from it in his final couple of weeks. Clearing out their bungalow in Norfolk was a rotten thing to have to do, throwing away all of the things they had collected over the years. My sister wanted to spend money on the place before selling, but the estate agent said to sell it as it was. As the new buyers will want things done their way. We had a buyer even before it went on the market, who paid the full asking price.
@@misscoutts6193 It doesn't always work like that. The estate agent said we could have put in a new kitchen and bathroom, then as soon as the new owners move in, they'll rip it all out again. He was the one with experience in these matters.
Gosh just came across this video, it was a heartfelt tribute to your dad, my brother is in a similar state and it is heartbreaking to see my niece struggling not only with the nuts and bolts of dementia but perhaps most distressingly the emotional toll it’s taking on her.
When my dad died in 2017 he left me an electric razor. His death was also quite troubling, about 2 weeks with no food laying in bed due to cancer. My grandmother is still alive and suffering dementia, much like your dads story we had to move her into a home. It's heartbreaking to see and when she asks about my dad we have to tell her he's at work. The rest of the family don't feel it's a good idea to tell her he died.
Sad story Richard I can see how difficult the last year of your fathers life was for you and those around him. My dear Mum died in 2015 from cancer and my brothers and I also went through the mill doing things similar to what you had to do for your father. Her death was a release for her and was inevitable as indeed it is for all of us eventually. I would support you financially via patreon as I realise this is your income but currently I am the only one in my household earning and also caring for my wife who has health problems so am not able to at the moment. But I do very much appreciate the talent that you have and bring to your very watchable and entertaining videos. Thankyou. Sandy
Hello Sandy! We bump into each other in all sorts of places! I didn't know you followed one of my local youtubers here in our county of West Sussex!! I also lost my mother to cancer 21 years ago when I was 20 years old. ...
Your father would be please to think that the bungalow will make some family a lovely home near to sea, eventually . As an older property Richard , you have presented it very well . Tidy and clean . Well done . I know that it is hard work ! You and your sister will always have your memories to treasure , and those are worth all the ‘ tea in China ‘ , so to speak ! “ Life goes on “ , as they say 💐
My sisters and brother sold our family home 4 years ago, very traumatic, lots of happy memories and sad ones too, me an my twin sister were born there,way back in 1960, as they used to say "double trouble ". Your dad had a very nice home, sad to hear that his last few years he suffered with Dementia. Thankyou for sharing.
I lived something like this in 2017. I felt myself to be "The Man Who Sold The World." I was very despondent about it. People who couldn't tolerate the depressed unFriended me over it. That was tremendously helpful of course.
Thankfully you can put this sad time behind you now. The loss of our parents makes us feel like orphans, no matter how old we are. Having a sister helps.
Only just watched this video as I work my way through your videos. Such a sad story, like many of us, dementia is an issue close to my heart as I looked after my mother for 10 years. I'm sorry to say that it sounds a lot like your dad's friend was taking advantage of him while he was in a very vulnerable state, something that I also have exerience of with my mother. Someone masquerading as a carer when their real interest is in property or assets. It's quite shocking and unbelievable to decent people that there are other people who behave like this but unfortunately a fact of life. What's also surprising is how ineffectual social services and the office of the public gaurdian are at protecting vulnerable people, quite simply they aren't fit for purpose.
Thank you Richard for sharing, and sorry for the loss of your father. It's a lovely bungalow, I'd love it at my time of life. I have a 3 bed house which is too big for me now, and recently I've started to de-clutter things I don't need, it's hard work when you've lived there 31 years. Going on to your tree, I bought a small conifer many years ago in a little pot and eventually went into the garden, when it was about 6ft I transferred it to the bottom of the garden and is now about 28ft, the same thing happened with another variety of conifer, but like you bramble seem to be all at the base and growing up through branches, it has to go. I hope your sale goes through without any problems. God bless and much 💖 .
Very poignant, Richard. Keep those good memories of your dad with you. His house (which is quite a tardis) will make a wonderful home for a new family.
Thank you Richard, for this personal and poignant peek into your Dad's home. It is the type of home and garden that I enjoy. Different. It must have been rather frustrating and awful for you and your sister to try and care for him while his partner was there. I love your videos! Greetings from South Africa!
You are very forgiving! What a nightmare scenario with your dad. Also to say that both my father, my father in law and now my mother in law have dementia. We, his immediate family, had very little support either in practical terms or in terms of empathy. I totally agree with your views on dementia.
It was a painful and empathetic exercise to go with you as you walked through your father's house just before your purchaser takes possession. My mother in law died from old age and Alzheimer's nearly 3 years ago and especially for my father in law it was a hellish nightmare. Any form of dementia is just about the cruelist joke played on a person I can think of and a truly massive test of love and resolve on those who love them. And forever after, one views life in terms of "before so and so began his or her descent and when they finally succumbed and afterwards". I guess that's what makes people of a certain age look so bemused all the time when in a large social situation. You are now and always will be a stronger person, Richard.
You have earned my respect Richard with your humanity shining through with your empathy for the elderly lady living with your dad, when you could have easily have slipped down that path of hatred towards her. yeah i know im a bit late catching on to your videos. But as they say better late than never.. keep speaking "YOUR TRUTH" my friend.
Sending hugs and sympathy. I understand fully as My Dad passed in January from stage 4 Cancer in a home and it was tough to see him ebb away. His house has now sold but feels odd walking around it with the smells and memories of him still there.You never get over it.. but time does help!
A very candid an brave thing to do that Richard sharing a very private thing , hats off to you , I’m sure your true friends an followers on the channel appreciate that , onwards an upwards keep up the good work 👏👏
I found this by chance, and I fully understand what you are saying about dementia, and you're dear late father last few years. I have just looked after my mum for 3 years who had dementia she died last April in a similar sad way. So I can really relate and agree with how you talk about your late father. Many people don't know about dementia and the gradual and very debilitating decline that this horrid illness brings. And how hard it can be for a child to have to give a parent 24-hour care as you talk about. Myself having been in the same position and all the difficult things this can throw up. And how you have to grow up and get on and deal with this. I also had the added difficulty of my aged father not understanding how dementia works so at times being quite aggressive and nasty to mum his wife and a sister who did not want to know or help like you say I'm sure people just don't understand how dementia affects people. Thanks for posting your thoughts and experiences we need people to be more open and talk about these horrid illnesses more so as all people get a better understanding of them. So thanks for sharing what must have been a very tough time as I now it was for me and a very hard time for yourself. Thanks, K.
Thank you Richard, I only just spotted your video today. I hope time has begun to heal the grief. When my mum died and I was selling the house, I was quite emotional. It took a while to clear the house, each time I cried for hours, the unexpected things tucked away in drawers and the huge empty feeling, it was one of the saddest days of my life. Bless you.
a very poignant and open memory of dealing with one of life's difficult situations. I really feel for you here, I too had to deal with the challenges of elderly parents in their later years. The dignity that you would wish for the parents that you loved is seldom present. Focus on the good memories and you will come out the other end of this experience well.
Thanks for keeping it real Richard; it's very brave of you to share your story. My folks are long gone too, my dad fortunately passed from basically "old age" at 90 and pretty much had his wits about him to the end. My mother, on the other hand, had dementia for over a decade and passed at 92. If not for the stress of taking care of "mum" my dad might have made 100. God bless.
Both My parents had Dementia, I can fully understand how hard it was for you & your Sister to cope with things during & after his demise, it does get easier with time, but certain events may bring a tear to your eyes in the future.
Partners can be very difficult to get rid of and have to be paid off. They have huge rights as we found out to our cost when my sons father died. She took him to the cleaners, cost a fortune in legal fees.
A situation everyone hopes they will never be in or have to deal with . I'm sure your video will resonate with those who are going through a similar experience , or have done in the past .
Such a lovely tribute to your Dad and, a sweet home and "grounds". Thank you for sharing your memories and for opening your heart. I have watched so many of your journeys; and this one was very poignant. My corgi is a licensed therapy dog and we visit a local memory support home where she brings smiles. All the best to you...
i have contemplated about what makes a person a person. how much is the soul/spirit/being, and how much is the collection of experiences? when there isn't access to the experiences, does that mean the person is no longer there? or is the person someone else? how much is the soul involved? how much does the soul remember? is there a soul? as you know, Richard, my mother passed away recently (6 weeks ago yesterday). she had suffered a thalamic stroke last November, which not only affected her balance but also her memory and, finally, speech. (dad had died 28 years ago from a heart attack.) we were blessed because she had decided to move out of the house of close to 50 years, so there wasn't that to deal with. however, watching her decline was heart-breaking. she was moved out of her independent living apartment and into the health unit. we were told in August that she was approaching the close of her life, and that was such a shock. in mid-September, she had developed pneumonia, and we had to make the difficult decision about her medical care. she had signed a living will, which we felt we had to respect; she would get treatment, but no hospitalization. i would visit, but she wasn't too aware of me. i tried talking to her, but she didn't respond much. i did get a couple of "i love you, too"s but, other than that, there wasn't real interactions. at the end of September, she stopped eating, which i think was her way of telling us she was ready to go. my brother and i were there when she passed.... (and then my adult son, who lives with me, had an abscess in his groin that ruptured, creating a gash in the crease of his leg. so it's not be a good time.)
Thanks Richard for sharing this video. Your strength in doing this video was quite amazing. Talking about the the real facts of a terrible illness was important. You and your sister can be very proud of the care you gave. All the very best over the Christmas period..
Hi Richard,a very personal blog this morning.we are living much longer nowadays and as a society we have to figure out a way of looking after ourselves.we are failing badly at the moment.Remember the good times. Thanks
I agree we all need to think ahead and have a plan ie downsize, declutter etc but still for Richard's Dad's generation there was an expectation for care from the state and they have been let down as they contributed right from the start of the NHS. Our generation has been told quite clearly that there isn't anything in the coffers for us when we get there!
Thank-you for your poignant and thoughtful video. Sometimes it takes a while to remember who the real person was after dementia cruelly robs them of everything they were before the disease. Well done by a kind and respectful son. Thank-you.
I think you are a hero mate, I had the same hard time with my mum and with the amount of Morphine punped into her her dignity as a woman quickly went, so sad to see such a strong woman degenerate so quickly......c'est la vie?
Sorry to hear you both went through this with the lady, your dad is in your DNA so he will always be apart of you. It will get easier time is a good healer.
Richardvobes I came across this video and thought what a very brave video to do especially when it's a very private affair when parents do pass away very private time your dad must of been very proud of his garden and lovely to see how honest and proud you are of your dad
Having nursed both parents and husband (not dementia) I can empathise. The lady in question was “A Rooster” - someone happy to enjoy the benefits but not prepared for the other side of the coin. Enough said. Your tribute to your father is moving, and demonstrates that thing lacking today: a backbone! Well done on honouring your responsibilities.
I wanted to give you a big hug my nan has it and it’s so sad to watch my mum is wearing her self out trying to keep a job and be with her to we are grieving for her but she’s still here if you get what I mean 😞 xx
That is quite sad, I know exactly what you mean, my grandad had a stroak then caught septis 9 months later. towards the end he was the same as you're dad, and now we have all of his stuff to sort out. Life can be sad sometimes. Thanks for sharing the video Richard.
Looked after my mum for 3 years with Dementia,like you say it`s not easy physically or mentally,thanks for sharing your story & thanks for all your great videos
This must have been so difficult … to remember, talk, explain without your voice breaking and taking some deep deep breaths to keep it together … at the same time informative and realistic as to what we are required to do as we all get older … thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you, Richard, for sharing the history of the house and your dad. My father also had dementia and starved himself in the end. I cared for him throughout the time. I know exactly what you went through. Very difficult to witness.
I found your channel after seraching for videos about Horsham and have now subscribed. This video especially resonated with me as my late Father also had dementia at the end of his life so I certainly understand all the family went through. I love your video style and wish you all the best for 2020.
Blessings and condolences Richard💜💜✌️🙏😊 I have a stepmonster, its worrying when loved ones age and live with others who have designs and not all together honourable motives
Looked after my mother in law with dementia 24/7 for 5 years. Hardest thing I had to do ever! I feel your pain and thanks for the video because I now understand I wasn’t the only one to suffer. The guilt I felt for feeling relief when she passed for her, myself and the family had scared me for life!
A very moving history of your father. I am going through the same with my mother who is at early stages of Dementia, it's the daily change in their character which I find the most difficult. A bit like saying goodbye to so many memories for you on your final visit. Many thanks for sharing this, I am sure your father would have been proud of what you did to help him.
I have come to this video rather late in the day but oh my, did it pack a punch. My mother didn't die of dementia but an aneurysm which was very quick. She wasn't found until a few days after her death. Very long story so cannot go into it here. But what was so poignant for me was that your father's home was so like my mother's home albeit she lived in a flat with no garden but a balcony. After her death I had to go through all the usual, selling the property, sorting through personal paraphernalia etc and having to dispose of a lot of accumulated "stuff", But not the added personal trauma you had to endure. I felt so much that I was on an emotional journey with you but in different circumstances . Much love to you
Thank you for sharing Richard…it was lovely to be a part of your memories albeit some very sad and hard ones. You have become somewhat of a dear friend through these troubled times and your videos…and it’s nice to feel that we may be friends to you as well and to listen and understand how extremely difficult all of this has been for you. Not knowing you or your dad I still feel I can say I’m certain he would be very proud of you.
Thanks a lot for sharing this personal story with us, Richard. Very moving. My mother-in-law suffered from dementia near the end, so I have some idea of what you went through. Agree with other viewers' comments: best to just remember all the good times.
Bless you, what an awful situation... I am glad it is all over now. I had to sort my Mums bungalow, which took weeks, it was such a draining time in my life, so have an idea of what you and your sister went through. I wish you happier times ahead.
Only just found this video Richard hopefully time has healed this terrible phase of your life. There is truly something lovely in someone who shows there vulnerable side, and that is why I follow you. My mum has dementia so I understand. God bless.
Thank you for sharing this very personal insight into your life, Richard. Much respect to you and your loved ones both living and those that have moved on. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this video. I too was a carer for elderly parents and was particularly close to mum (who had vascular dementia, but who I shared many happy memories throughout, as well as a few challenging ones throughout the last few years). And as someone else below has said, you have been a credit to your dad.
Thank you for sharing Richard. After being out of the country for two weeks I had umpteem uploads to catch up with. I chose this poignant upload to watch first and was glad I did. Best wishes to you and your sister - snack.
I looked after my mum who had dementia, for fifteen years , luckily I was able to get enough support to keep her in her own home. This video was very moving and sad . The fact that many people with dementia get ill treated is terrible because they become like children again and deserve to be well cared for , not slapped or shouted at
I know it is very sad.
Hi Richard, I looked after my Mum who had Alzheimer's for a number of years but like you found we reached a point where it became impossible to look after her anymore... - we had to make the heartbreaking decision to put her into a care home as Dad had vascular dementia and then of course dealing with the guilt once she was in there. Again like you found my Mum sat there all day watching daytime TV and before you know it she was unable to walk anymore...😢 The worse thing for me was that my Mum no longer recognised me in the last six months of her life😔 In good health before Alzheimer's claimed her and her personality she had a fantastic sense of humour and apart from being my Mum was my best friend... So it was all v difficult and so sad to see her deterioration. I try to remember her before she was ill that was what got me through after she passed.
This is Richard's personal remembrance of his late father so why can't people allow him to do this without giving him a thumbs down. Your still engaging with the video and RUclips.
It doesn't bother Richard to much but it does me especially this video.
Your probably the same people all the time that does it so why don't you just do one.
Well done Richard and thanks for sharing this personal journey and look round your fathers house
Well said, Kevin.
Well said, Kevin.
Thumbs down nun too see what do you mean I follow your sentiments though odd as for what reason any way nothing to thumb down as Richard such a lovely man as bless his father
@@squared.thought6650 The Thumbs down must have been removed if they can be?
@@KevinsRambles no worries
Hi Richard what an open and honest touching video.I have worked in mental health and my wife ,as a nurse ,spent some years working in a nursing home.
What I felt I wanted to say to you ,is, in both our experiences that yes the mind fades , however the feelings remain.Your dad would of known he was loved.
Your caring for him is love made manifest .
We both send you our love .
Thank you for your videos they are a real gift to us all out here.
Thanks so much, David. Very much appreciate your kind words.
My late Auntie sadly died of dementia in hospital, she was 93 years old. Its a horrible thing to happen to any relative.
Richard, your a credit to your Dad. This sad period in life along with all the troubles and worries it must have brought is now past. I wish you happier times ahead. 😉 👍
Thanks so much Damian.
My wife and I lived with and looked after my mother for the final 6 years of her life, during which time she had dementia. She finally passed away in May 2020. Like your father she forgot how to swallow at the end and we would be attempting to feed and water her with a pipette. The end lasted a similar time, about 5 days. It was very traumatic. You are changed from the experience and you're right to say that it does make you grow up a notch. We don't live in denial but it is hard to think of her in depth as it nearly always brings on a tear or two. Good luck with coping with the loss.
I can identify with so much of of what Richard says. I looked after my parents, my father with dementia (though amazingly physically fit until 91yrs) and my mother with disability and completely dependent. The weight of responsibility was hard. Then the emotional process of sorting through their lifetime’s belongings. I sometimes wonder how I coped.
God Bless Richard to you and your sister. 🙌
To loose your mind is more traumatic than loosing your limbs. Take Care and All The Best 👍🏽
Your dad was an amazing man who produced an amazing son.
A salutory tale for people moving in together later in life. When one dies, the other will be thrown out.
That was a lovely little house & garden your dad lived in.
I would be so happy to live out my life in a house like that, so much potential for the next owners!
Thank you for sharing with us all Richard.
Thanks for sharing this Richard. Bless you sir. The first time I saw your father in a video and learned of the situation I felt an instant connection, a sad unfortunate one, but a connection nonetheless. My grandfather was like a dad to me, and my best friend too. We went everywhere together, I never had a day away from him the last 7 years of his life, we spent every minute of every day together. I lived with him 14 years, and had to give up even part time work in 2013 as he couldn't be left on his own.
His character was still there most of the time, we explored England, much like yourself. Getting out seemed to help grandads dementia a bit. Sadly the exploring stayed closer and closer to home as the dementia took a hold. We'd go miles every day, me pushing his wheelchair. Thanks for bringing up topics many won't speak of, like wiping bums. Grandad was also a boxer in his day, he never forgot how to throw a good punch, as I learned the hard way haha. I'd take a hundred punches off the heavyweight champion of the world, if I could just have him back though. Infact I often felt proud of the strength he'd find. I wish we had got to show you around the Romney marshes. I spent years of my life exploring them with him. Well done for the job you did with your dad, thank you for sharing and mentioning topics many shy away from. My upmost respect and condolences.
What a wonderful man you are, Ed. Thank you watching my nonsense. I am thrilled to have a connection with you, sir. You Granddad was a champ in every way!
Thank you for sharing your deeply personal video Richard. I understand what you have been through with your Dad. My Dad died 10 years ago with vascular dementia, it’s heart breaking. Plus his second wife was difficult too .
So many of us can relate to what you have been going through Richard. My parents both lived into
their 90's. Mum had dementia for the last couple of years of her life, and thankfully Dad only
suffered from it in his final couple of weeks. Clearing out their bungalow in Norfolk was a rotten
thing to have to do, throwing away all of the things they had collected over the years.
My sister wanted to spend money on the place before selling, but the estate agent said to sell it
as it was. As the new buyers will want things done their way. We had a buyer even before it went
on the market, who paid the full asking price.
Yes my sister was keen to do it up but we had the same advice. New buyers will do there thing.
Do it up to get more money 🤔
@@misscoutts6193 It doesn't always work like that. The estate agent said we could have put in a new kitchen and bathroom, then as soon as the new owners move in, they'll rip it all out again. He was the one with experience in these matters.
Gosh just came across this video, it was a heartfelt tribute to your dad, my brother is in a similar state and it is heartbreaking to see my niece struggling not only with the nuts and bolts of dementia but perhaps most distressingly the emotional toll it’s taking on her.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Really heart felt. Looking forward to watching your videos
When my dad died in 2017 he left me an electric razor. His death was also quite troubling, about 2 weeks with no food laying in bed due to cancer. My grandmother is still alive and suffering dementia, much like your dads story we had to move her into a home. It's heartbreaking to see and when she asks about my dad we have to tell her he's at work. The rest of the family don't feel it's a good idea to tell her he died.
Oh it is such a terrible thing! Thanks for sharing!
Candid, brave, and quite moving, Richard. Thank you.
Many thanks!
Sad story Richard I can see how difficult the last year of your fathers life was for you and those around him.
My dear Mum died in 2015 from cancer and my brothers and I also went through the mill doing things similar to what you had to do for your father. Her death was a release for her and was inevitable as indeed it is for all of us eventually.
I would support you financially via patreon as I realise this is your income but currently I am the only one in my household earning and also caring for my wife who has health problems so am not able to at the moment. But I do very much appreciate the talent that you have and bring to your very watchable and entertaining videos.
Thankyou.
Sandy
Hello Sandy! We bump into each other in all sorts of places! I didn't know you followed one of my local youtubers here in our county of West Sussex!! I also lost my mother to cancer 21 years ago when I was 20 years old. ...
Please don't worry about supporting me if you cannot afford it. Happy for you to enjoy the videos. Thanks for the kind words.
Your father would be please to think that the bungalow
will make some family a lovely home near to sea, eventually .
As an older property Richard , you have presented it very well .
Tidy and clean . Well done . I know that it is hard work !
You and your sister will always have your memories to treasure ,
and those are worth all the ‘ tea in China ‘ , so to speak !
“ Life goes on “ , as they say 💐
My sisters and brother sold our family home 4 years ago, very traumatic, lots of happy memories and sad ones too, me an my twin sister were born there,way back in 1960, as they used to say "double trouble ".
Your dad had a very nice home, sad to hear that his last few years he suffered with Dementia.
Thankyou for sharing.
I lived something like this in 2017. I felt myself to be "The Man Who Sold The World." I was very despondent about it. People who couldn't tolerate the depressed unFriended me over it. That was tremendously helpful of course.
Thankfully you can put this sad time behind you now. The loss of our parents makes us feel like orphans, no matter how old we are. Having a sister helps.
Only just watched this video as I work my way through your videos. Such a sad story, like many of us, dementia is an issue close to my heart as I looked after my mother for 10 years. I'm sorry to say that it sounds a lot like your dad's friend was taking advantage of him while he was in a very vulnerable state, something that I also have exerience of with my mother. Someone masquerading as a carer when their real interest is in property or assets. It's quite shocking and unbelievable to decent people that there are other people who behave like this but unfortunately a fact of life. What's also surprising is how ineffectual social services and the office of the public gaurdian are at protecting vulnerable people, quite simply they aren't fit for purpose.
Thanks, Rob, for the kind words.
Thank you Richard for sharing, and sorry for the loss of your father. It's a lovely bungalow, I'd love it at my time of life. I have a 3 bed house which is too big for me now, and recently I've started to de-clutter things I don't need, it's hard work when you've lived there 31 years. Going on to your tree, I bought a small conifer many years ago in a little pot and eventually went into the garden, when it was about 6ft I transferred it to the bottom of the garden and is now about 28ft, the same thing happened with another variety of conifer, but like you bramble seem to be all at the base and growing up through branches, it has to go. I hope your sale goes through without any problems. God bless and much 💖 .
What a difficult time you have been through. Best wishes.
Thanks David
I'm so sorry Richard.
For those in this circumstance at end of life, hospice care can be so helpful in easing the final suffering.
The memories is what hurts the most there is nothing more important than your Mother and Father ever.
A sad time in some ways yet we will celebrate his life with you and your sister!
Thanks so much Michael.
Very poignant, Richard. Keep those good memories of your dad with you. His house (which is quite a tardis) will make a wonderful home for a new family.
MrGreatplum, you took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you.
Very touching, compassionate account of the few last years of your fathers life. Thank you for sharing such hard times in a kind, loving way with us.
Thank you Richard, for this personal and poignant peek into your Dad's home. It is the type of home and garden that I enjoy. Different. It must have been rather frustrating and awful for you and your sister to try and care for him while his partner was there. I love your videos! Greetings from South Africa!
You are very forgiving! What a nightmare scenario with your dad. Also to say that both my father, my father in law and now my mother in law have dementia. We, his immediate family, had very little support either in practical terms or in terms of empathy. I totally agree with your views on dementia.
It was a painful and empathetic exercise to go with you as you walked through your father's house just before your purchaser takes possession. My mother in law died from old age and Alzheimer's nearly 3 years ago and especially for my father in law it was a hellish nightmare. Any form of dementia is just about the cruelist joke played on a person I can think of and a truly massive test of love and resolve on those who love them. And forever after, one views life in terms of "before so and so began his or her descent and when they finally succumbed and afterwards". I guess that's what makes people of a certain age look so bemused all the time when in a large social situation. You are now and always will be a stronger person, Richard.
Thanks so much
Your dad had a lovely home with so much potential! So sorry he had a hard time in the end. Thanks for sharing with us.
Yes, thank you
I'm sure your father would be proud of you and would enjoy watching your ramblings. Ignore the downward thumbs.
Bless you Richard. Thank you for sharing this very touching video. You’re a credit to your Dad.
Thanks Andy.
All the very best Richard, good luck for the future & please carry on your great work👍.
You have earned my respect Richard with your humanity shining through with your empathy for the elderly lady living with your dad, when you could have easily have slipped down that path of hatred towards her. yeah i know im a bit late catching on to your videos. But as they say better late than never.. keep speaking "YOUR TRUTH" my friend.
Why hate the woman who shared his Autumn years 🤔
I didn't see any empathy. 🤔
Thank you for sharing your family with us.
Sending hugs and sympathy. I understand fully as My Dad passed in January from stage 4 Cancer in a home and it was tough to see him ebb away. His house has now sold but feels odd walking around it with the smells and memories of him still there.You never get over it.. but time does help!
Thank you so much.
What a sad story Richard, Bless you and your sister.
Thanks so much.
A very candid an brave thing to do that Richard sharing a very private thing , hats off to you , I’m sure your true friends an followers on the channel appreciate that , onwards an upwards keep up the good work 👏👏
Thanks so much Oliver.
I found this by chance, and I fully understand what you are saying about dementia, and you're dear late father last few years. I have just looked after my mum for 3 years who had dementia she died last April in a similar sad way. So I can really relate and agree with how you talk about your late father. Many people don't know about dementia and the gradual and very debilitating decline that this horrid illness brings. And how hard it can be for a child to have to give a parent 24-hour care as you talk about. Myself having been in the same position and all the difficult things this can throw up. And how you have to grow up and get on and deal with this. I also had the added difficulty of my aged father not understanding how dementia works so at times being quite aggressive and nasty to mum his wife and a sister who did not want to know or help like you say I'm sure people just don't understand how dementia affects people. Thanks for posting your thoughts and experiences we need people to be more open and talk about these horrid illnesses more so as all people get a better understanding of them. So thanks for sharing what must have been a very tough time as I now it was for me and a very hard time for yourself. Thanks, K.
Thank you for sharing this Richard....very emotive .
Thank you Richard, I only just spotted your video today. I hope time has begun to heal the grief. When my mum died and I was selling the house, I was quite emotional. It took a while to clear the house, each time I cried for hours, the unexpected things tucked away in drawers and the huge empty feeling, it was one of the saddest days of my life. Bless you.
a very poignant and open memory of dealing with one of life's difficult situations. I really feel for you here, I too had to deal with the challenges of elderly parents in their later years. The dignity that you would wish for the parents that you loved is seldom present. Focus on the good memories and you will come out the other end of this experience well.
Thanks for the kind words.
Such a sad story, people can be misunderstood but that’s life.
Totally understand where you are coming from Richard, been there myself. Thank you for sharing this very personal story with us.
Its a hard road - thanks for watching.
Thanks for keeping it real Richard; it's very brave of you to share your story. My folks are long gone too, my dad fortunately passed from basically "old age" at 90 and pretty much had his wits about him to the end. My mother, on the other hand, had dementia for over a decade and passed at 92. If not for the stress of taking care of "mum" my dad might have made 100. God bless.
Bless them. Thanks for watching.
Very touching story, thank you for sharing x
Thanks for watching
The hardest thing l ever done was sort my dad's stuff..l cried all day x
It is hard work.
Both My parents had Dementia, I can fully understand how hard it was for you & your Sister to cope with things during & after his demise, it does get easier with time, but certain events may bring a tear to your eyes in the future.
It is hard but somehow we got through it.
That was so moving, good on you Richard!
Partners can be very difficult to get rid of and have to be paid off. They have huge rights as we found out to our cost when my sons father died. She took him to the cleaners, cost a fortune in legal fees.
A situation everyone hopes they will never be in or have to deal with . I'm sure your video will resonate with those who are going through a similar experience , or have done in the past .
I hope you have found peace in all this Richard.
Cheers Barry - it all helps.
Thank you Richard, life is hard at times for everyone. Look after yourself .
Richard yet again thank you for your openess,i'm sure your Dad would be full of pride for your care of him,all the best mate. You did good
Certainly a personal story, thank you for sharing. Remember and cherish all the fond memories. 🌻🌺🌷
Yes indeed. Thank you.
Such a lovely tribute to your Dad and, a sweet home and "grounds". Thank you for sharing your memories and for opening your heart. I have watched so many of your journeys; and this one was very poignant. My corgi is a licensed therapy dog and we visit a local memory support home where she brings smiles. All the best to you...
i have contemplated about what makes a person a person. how much is the soul/spirit/being, and how much is the collection of experiences? when there isn't access to the experiences, does that mean the person is no longer there? or is the person someone else? how much is the soul involved? how much does the soul remember? is there a soul?
as you know, Richard, my mother passed away recently (6 weeks ago yesterday). she had suffered a thalamic stroke last November, which not only affected her balance but also her memory and, finally, speech. (dad had died 28 years ago from a heart attack.) we were blessed because she had decided to move out of the house of close to 50 years, so there wasn't that to deal with. however, watching her decline was heart-breaking. she was moved out of her independent living apartment and into the health unit. we were told in August that she was approaching the close of her life, and that was such a shock. in mid-September, she had developed pneumonia, and we had to make the difficult decision about her medical care. she had signed a living will, which we felt we had to respect; she would get treatment, but no hospitalization. i would visit, but she wasn't too aware of me. i tried talking to her, but she didn't respond much. i did get a couple of "i love you, too"s but, other than that, there wasn't real interactions. at the end of September, she stopped eating, which i think was her way of telling us she was ready to go. my brother and i were there when she passed.... (and then my adult son, who lives with me, had an abscess in his groin that ruptured, creating a gash in the crease of his leg. so it's not be a good time.)
It is a very difficult time when loved ones go and we all struggle with it in our own way. Thanks for sharing your experience. And for your comments.
Thanks Richard for sharing this video. Your strength in doing this video was quite amazing. Talking about the the real facts of a terrible illness was important. You and your sister can be very proud of the care you gave.
All the very best over the Christmas period..
Thank you Richard. Very brave of you to share this.
Thanks so much for watching.
Hi Richard,a very personal blog this morning.we are living much longer nowadays and as a society we have to figure out a way of looking after ourselves.we are failing badly at the moment.Remember the good times. Thanks
I agree we all need to think ahead and have a plan ie downsize, declutter etc but still for Richard's Dad's generation there was an expectation for care from the state and they have been let down as they contributed right from the start of the NHS. Our generation has been told quite clearly that there isn't anything in the coffers for us when we get there!
Denise Scally on the plus side we have two fantastic aircraft carriers two look at!!
Thanks David.
We aren't living longer.
Thank-you for your poignant and thoughtful video. Sometimes it takes a while to remember who the real person was after dementia cruelly robs them of everything they were before the disease. Well done by a kind and respectful son. Thank-you.
Thank very much.
Sorry for your loss. I lost my mother about 2 years ago and it is very hard !
Thanks so much
I think you are a hero mate, I had the same hard time with my mum and with the amount of Morphine punped into her her dignity as a woman quickly went, so sad to see such a strong woman degenerate so quickly......c'est la vie?
Sorry no words. All the best.
Thanks Steve
Sorry to hear you both went through this with the lady, your dad is in your DNA so he will always be apart of you. It will get easier time is a good healer.
Thanks very much for the kind words
I am looking after someone with dementia,it’s a hard job,but you just plod on .Your parents had a lovely little home ,bless them.
Richardvobes I came across this video and thought what a very brave video to do especially when it's a very private affair when parents do pass away very private time your dad must of been very proud of his garden and lovely to see how honest and proud you are of your dad
Having nursed both parents and husband (not dementia) I can empathise. The lady in question was “A Rooster” - someone happy to enjoy the benefits but not prepared for the other side of the coin. Enough said.
Your tribute to your father is moving, and demonstrates that thing lacking today: a backbone! Well done on honouring your responsibilities.
I wanted to give you a big hug my nan has it and it’s so sad to watch my mum is wearing her self out trying to keep a job and be with her to we are grieving for her but she’s still here if you get what I mean 😞 xx
Thanks Laura - it is a hard slog and so sad.
What a role model....
That is quite sad, I know exactly what you mean, my grandad had a stroak then caught septis 9 months later. towards the end he was the same as you're dad, and now we have all of his stuff to sort out. Life can be sad sometimes. Thanks for sharing the video Richard.
Looked after my mum for 3 years with Dementia,like you say it`s not easy physically or mentally,thanks for sharing your story & thanks for all your great videos
This must have been so difficult … to remember, talk, explain without your voice breaking and taking some deep deep breaths to keep it together … at the same time informative and realistic as to what we are required to do as we all get older … thank you 🙏🏽
Lovely video reliving memories, thank you for sharing, all the best to your family x
Thank you so much
Thank you, Richard, for sharing the history of the house and your dad. My father also had dementia and starved himself in the end. I cared for him throughout the time. I know exactly what you went through. Very difficult to witness.
Bless you Richard. Went through something very similar. Its rough. I love your honesty. Take care
Thanks so much
I found your channel after seraching for videos about Horsham and have now subscribed. This video especially resonated with me as my late Father also had dementia at the end of his life so I certainly understand all the family went through. I love your video style and wish you all the best for 2020.
Thank you so much. It is a hard disease to deal with and it still haunts me.
A very brave and positive thing to do to make this video, which I am sure many will relate to and draw comfort from. All the best.
Thank you
Blessings and condolences Richard💜💜✌️🙏😊
I have a stepmonster, its worrying when loved ones age and live with others who have designs and not all together honourable motives
I know that Laboured breathing sounds you mentioning that got me brought back memories of my mother passing in hospital.. 🇬🇧👍❤️
Looked after my mother in law with dementia 24/7 for 5 years. Hardest thing I had to do ever! I feel your pain and thanks for the video because I now understand I wasn’t the only one to suffer. The guilt I felt for feeling relief when she passed for her, myself and the family had scared me for life!
A very moving history of your father. I am going through the same with my mother who is at early stages of Dementia, it's the daily change in their character which I find the most difficult. A bit like saying goodbye to so many memories for you on your final visit. Many thanks for sharing this, I am sure your father would have been proud of what you did to help him.
Thanks Tony.
What an emotional story. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for watching.
I have come to this video rather late in the day but oh my, did it pack a punch. My mother didn't die of dementia but an aneurysm which was very quick. She wasn't found until a few days after her death. Very long story so cannot go into it here. But what was so poignant for me was that your father's home was so like my mother's home albeit she lived in a flat with no garden but a balcony. After her death I had to go through all the usual, selling the property, sorting through personal paraphernalia etc and having to dispose of a lot of accumulated "stuff",
But not the added personal trauma you had to endure. I felt so much that I was on an emotional journey with you but in different circumstances . Much love to you
Thank you for your kind words.
Thank you for sharing Richard…it was lovely to be a part of your memories albeit some very sad and hard ones. You have become somewhat of a dear friend through these troubled times and your videos…and it’s nice to feel that we may be friends to you as well and to listen and understand how extremely difficult all of this has been for you. Not knowing you or your dad I still feel I can say I’m certain he would be very proud of you.
Thanks a lot for sharing this personal story with us, Richard. Very moving. My mother-in-law suffered from dementia near the end, so I have some idea of what you went through. Agree with other viewers' comments: best to just remember all the good times.
Thanks so much
Bless you, what an awful situation... I am glad it is all over now. I had to sort my Mums bungalow, which took weeks, it was such a draining time in my life, so have an idea of what you and your sister went through. I wish you happier times ahead.
Thank you Bry
A very brave beautiful and personal account of ones life well done that must of been quite hard your a good man
Only just found this video Richard hopefully time has healed this terrible phase of your life.
There is truly something lovely in someone who shows there vulnerable side, and that is why I follow you. My mum has dementia so I understand. God bless.
Thanks for sharing. A very moving insight.
Thank you for sharing this very personal insight into your life, Richard. Much respect to you and your loved ones both living and those that have moved on. ❤️
Very kind. Thank you
Thank you for sharing this video. I too was a carer for elderly parents and was particularly close to mum (who had vascular dementia, but who I shared many happy memories throughout, as well as a few challenging ones throughout the last few years).
And as someone else below has said, you have been a credit to your dad.
Emotional time for you Richard. Lots of memories both good and bad, happy and sad. Hope the sale goes through ok and you can all move on. Bless you.
Thank you for sharing Richard. After being out of the country for two weeks I had umpteem uploads to catch up with. I chose this poignant upload to watch first and was glad I did. Best wishes to you and your sister - snack.
Thanks so much - welcome back and happy catch up!
Bless you Richard ❤