So true, l suffer with a Back complaint l live alone had one adult child. l cauld not move l had collapsed with the back problem . I told her this, l did not ask her to come, but before l even cauld she said, well l can't come my partner has a cold!!!!!! 2 friends helped me.
I had to "cut ties" with my middle daughter. She tells people I "arranged" for her to be raped and that I died in 2003. I had to cut ties with my mother, when I was 17. She put me on a grey hound bus and told me not to worry about where to get off, the driver knew. It sucks not having "blood family" in your life, but I am surviving better without them.
@@Chester90909 ...For real...keep it a secret. The more you tell, the more they will throw salt your way and make you feel sour. So it is best to keep a low profile and move in silence.
You are so right believe me everyone has a clue when they did something wrong to someone. Action speaks louder than words. I have toxic people in my family and I treat them with silence.
Very true. Toxic person can have a very negative impact on your physical and mental..Sometimes, its important to think about yourself first and just move out.
Unfortuantely when it comes to family that u are obliged to see every single day and hear their fucking fights u will never get over it it is hard especially if u really care about you
I feel like such an idiot... I’ve wasted much of my life on fruitlessly seeking love and approval from certain toxic family members. Nothing has changed, and I need to accept this and walk away.
You're not strange-it's good to be able to be alone happily. And studies show that people who are happy by themselves have happier relationships (if/when they get in one) because they don't put pressure on the other person to make them happy.
@Karen field read the 12 special traits of people like you and iı8. One is they like to be alone. They are not bored. The smartest people are those who have few friends. I didn't trust a lot of people when in an abusive relationship, but not good to mistrust all people. I had 1 or 2 very close friends all my life, others need tons of so called friends. I had a few so called friends who had a lot of friends and the reason for that was so if one person couldn't do something to occupy her time, she went to the next on down the line until she found someone. I had to cut off 2 friends because they were starting to use me. Much better off by myself. You are not alone. I like being myself. Also, people who like to be alone are highly intelligent and don't want to get into the gossip and slander and mind games. Be encouraged, you are not alone. When I do go out, I meet the most interesting people and the most interesting conversations.
Cut off people who try to devalue your worth. Name calling, slanderous gossip, stealing, cheating, and emotional abuse. I pray that anybody who is being mistreated out there finds peace and joy and financial prosperity.😇😇😇
Glad you listed the financial aspect. The lack of money comes with so much embarrasment. It is cool when you don't have to rely on others for anything. It often avoids you being mistreated. God help us all.
I’m slowly cutting my mom, sisters and step dad out of my life. All they do is complain and are always negative towards me and my girlfriends. They are just horrible judgmental people
Lara se....You Tube 5 pieces of advice to deal with toxic people in your life. It has Dr. Phil with OWN in the picture. It was the best 5 minutes of wisdom that worked for me. I wish you peace and to be free to be who you were meant to be to shine light in the world!
disowned my toxic "Ego Tistical - Narcissistic Bully" older brother to the curb 14 years ago....and its the best decision i have ever made......if not.....i would be in jail.
Well...we all need to be careful & think before saying something since we probably may not fully know others story. Just being careful or considerate with everyone is not necessarily walking on eggshells. Keeping in mind we ALL have our own cross to carry.
@@refilwesteffen9903 That has nothing to do with what they said, they specifically said if you have to walk on egg shells meaning at no point do they feel comfortable to be themselves. And telling people they need to watch what they say? If you live there no one should make you feel uncomfortable in your space. Personal issues don't excuse making others feel less free in their own environment as well
While reading the comments I was surprised to see that there are so many people who view their family members as toxic.. This kind of gives me the reassurance that I‘m not the one who’s crazy. All I want is a peaceful life, I mean we all have other problems to worry about and family should support you instead of abusing you emotionally.
Lara se .. some people just don't want to see you happy .. after my divorce 9 years ago my aunty said "oh well!!! at least you have your cats and kids" it was like she was speaking death over any future possible relationships. She didn't wish to see me re-marry or re-partner .. I am still single as we speak..
@@christinelawrence4315 You're definetely right! I think your aunty is very miserable and lives an unfulfilled life. Some people don't want to see others happy because they aren't satisfied with their life. Unfortunately it does affect us although we know that these people are trying to hurt us.. For instance, I never attended any of my graduations. Looking back, I now understand that even though I knew what my family was doing, I still let it affect me and never celebrated any of my accomplishments. I hope you don't let any negativity of other people affect you and keep you from creating happiness in your life. We only get one life so we should live it to the fullest!
I would like to throw my mom and my fat sister out the front living room window. Scratch that I will pay NASA to drop them off on the furthest planet. 30 years of pain. Thanks Mom ur awesome. Funny how bc they give birth to u they feel they know everything and want u to abide by them. The day she said I was dumb and her and my sister laughed. Was the day my anger turned close to hatred until now. Goodbye mom. Goodbye.
@@jevonjackson4236 like a learning curve...for me it is a learning experience a curve and everything else. Luckily i learn things the first time around. I dont make the same mistakes over and over. It means its your fault then. And i hate taking the blame for things. 😊
You can't pick your genetic family. But, you can sure find a new one. End communication, forget about teaching lessons and never look back. Life is too short to waste time.
Very true. Happened today in fact. I'm starting a small business, and they come over, smoke in my shop, "accedentilly" destroy my board games, and I can tell they Judge me behind my back. They must just fuck off and leave me alone. I just want to tell them out right.
I’m cutting ties with everyone except my dad and my younger sister as soon as I can move out of home. I’m 16 now and literally can’t wait for that to happen. My mum and older brother are freaking psychos.
63 and im sooo done. Youngest of 7, 4 dead, parents dead. Have narcissistic and sociopath sister, and brother alive,.,.distanced myself from them....very toxic. I have two married growm children doing well, but issues at times with my daughter over one of my twin granddaughters....now distanting myself from her. LIFE IS SO SHORT AND PRECIOUS....I HAVE A GREAT AND BLESSED LIFE.,..NO MORE NONSENSE!
There is nothing like peace....especially peace of mind and a great relationship with GOD and other positive people. You can only do so much after trying soooo long...im done.
seni Be cool, stay in school. Just focus on that right now and get the best grades you can. I was like you once and I placed getting out above an education and its been a struggle. Get a degree and ENJOY your independence for the rest of your life. You’ll get there if your learning about narcissism now.
This is funny as I read comments. I have cut both my siblings from my life and feel ashamed because I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t get along with family members. But reading the comments make me realize I’m not so different after all.
I have been trying to put together my family but it's just like a black hole and I'm like a star that gets all energy drained to it. Plus I am the bad one despite trying to put in so much positiveness. If they are so determined in their stupidity I will leave them with it. They can mingle in this black hole of negativity.
Omg i feel the same way. Need to cut a negative miserable sister out of my life starting today. Some people who live in their misery will only drag others down
This is the case with my family. Whenever I come around home I just feel so drained of energy. They are so negative all the time. My parents never believe in me. I think it's time.
@recall Yes especially if you have narcissists parents :( for some reason l panic when around them or i feel so dead depressed and tired. It's mentally tiring and so exhausting
Unfortunately we all dont have families that mean us any good cut them out of your life,the feeling of guilt will go away as you heal and feel better about yourself 😊
That peacefulness when you can relate with everybody in the comments and nobody's claiming you're a bad person and that you should deal with it because "they're your family!". Positive vibes to all!
Always speak less then what you know... and that includes your goals, knowledge, and ambitions. You dont owe it to any one to explain yourself. Just have respect for yourself, dont do any harm to others, mind your own business, stay focused, and keep on going in your journey.
Ileana Hope sadly I have to do the same thing to my family all of them my mom doesn’t understand that I have kids and she needs to listen w my husband and I about what to give them to eat but my kids should not have to deal with being in pain cuz my parents don’t listen
If there is no BOND, they are just RELATIVES; people you are related to by blood and DNA. FAMILY is a BOND and the thing about FAMILY is that "it DO NOT need to be blood based". People think the two terms are interchangeable and it is not; there is a distinct difference between the two. For example, your parents do not need to be your "FAMILY MEMBER", but just RELATIVES. On the other hand your bestfriend can be a "FAMILY MEMBER" because of the "BOND" you share with them. I hope I made it clear for everybody who may be confused about it.
My oldest sister stabbed me in the back and I was devastated to find out how much she hated me despite me loving and treating her well - I knew I had evil hateful backstabbing family members and sisters but I thought we were close now l know who she is and I’m I done my heart can’t deal - I’ll just love on my daughter my dad and my loyal dog.
let me ask what should I do if my brother-in-law just passed away & I haven't spoken to my sister in over 15 yrs. She has never made an attempt to call me at all. I was emotionally & verbally abused by everybody. Am I obligated to go his wake and funeral.
@@user-uo4hl4dc4b The choice is always yours, that "obligation" is only what you've created inside your head. Search your feelings. What is that singular emotion that arise when you think of this situation. Do what is right for yourself, that which ultimately serves you. If you attend the funeral only to be met with more suffering be it from backbiting, gossip and arguments, it's better to let it go and just carry on with your life. Bottom line is... Do not regret the choice you've made, learn to honor and accept once it's been decided. The possibilities are there. You might attend to perhaps slowly mend your relationship with your sister eventually or not attend at all because deep down in your heart you know you hate her no matter what. You know yourself and you can't lie to yourself.. Do what feels right because its for your own well-being, nothing else...
@@VerdantJedi I feel like I'll die. I'm 65 and house has to be sold. I'm terrified. I've become codependent. my life is 3 quaters over. I need a miracle.
Also: Slanderous gossip. They manage to convince your other relatives that they should shun you & embrace them. The reason for my anonymous account is solely due to the toxic & abusive family members that continuously try to destroy what I love. Thus...an anonymous account where I'm free to express my thoughts. & perhaps even help others. :)
I moved out when I werent ready. To tell you the truth, it sucks and hurts me a lot. Im forced to leave and now, i become better and feeling peace. Its just normal sometimes life knock you down, so just be patient and do the hard work for your future.
This is so true. Get out while you can. You can love them cuz their family but you dont have to like them or associate with them. Its sad, but so real. They might treat you nice sometimes, but they have motive. Think twice before you except there kindness. I lived it.
They are nice sometimes but they will always go back to treating you the same way. Best to just stay away and don't engage. It will never change. You just have to leave.
My family is very toxic especially my mum who stalks my online activities, touch my things n journal, invade my privacy n always spreading negativity. She can't zip her mouth. I want to move out rather leave alone than with her, given her so many chance but never change. I never trust her anymore.
It's very sad to have to cut someone out of your life, yet, sometimes it's necessary. The love for them is still with me, yet, it's better to have less drama, more peace, be able to sleep better at night.
I think individuals that can let go in peace are individuals that don’t carry any weight of pain or negativity. In the end we all end up alone in our final days on this earth, it doesn’t mean we carry every individual with us to the very end.
I had to cut 3 of these types of toxic relationships from my own family my so called siblings are all extremely toxic and manipulating...I feel great now.
Sad and true but sometimes your own family can be your worst enemies, I know I have cut off several family members and now I am much happier , my give a damn busted long ago and I am now 50
I'm in my 50's and cut ties with my parents and I wish I've done it sooner, We are brainwash in thinking that we never go against our parents and respect fully. But what are parents! just other Human Beings on this planet.They should not be view like gods and you have to respect them at all cost. I 'm so happy that they are not in my life any more. I wish that society would start making parents accountable for their bad parenting.
Going through family battles now and the family that does wrong does not see it as a battle they think they can have their disrespect of the past without apology which I said they must present and move on but I told family members that I have principles and you cannot be flowing with me as if everything is okay and my spouse is not respected they do not believe they need to apologize and they think that she is wrong because she addressed them on a church matter.. they think you are not supposed to communicate every subject to a spouse but I disagree they blame her for telling me things that they were doing to her and blame her for separating me from my family but I told them I agree she is right and a spouse is supposed to share everything with a spouse first... kids come second and parents third and siblings fourth that is the order they do not want to accept this but I said I have principles and they must accept it and unfortunately the member is the father and a sister the father is in his mid-70s but unfortunately we are resisting communicating with each other and he thinks he's right but I know that I am right and my sister we have battles once every two years but still no flow because they are mad because my spouse talk to him in the first place of this church matter ...for those out there who I'm cutting out family make sure you are right not by your own mind but in judgement of righteousness and principles of marriage that come first when the marriage is healthy
@@soniafunabazamamunguia9956 cut them off, I'm sure slowly but surely they are poisoning your children. My place was similar. Once it started spilling onto my kids, that really had me boiling
When your own mother pits you against other family members and they oblige by that evilness, that's when you really have to cut ties. The funny thing about that is, when you do move away from them and live life without them, here they come using poor excuses as to why they need to see you or ask for something.
Ssookawai After she did it multiple times, I told her why. She didn't apologize yet didn't argue about it or try to change my mind. Leaving me wondering if she understands what she did. Still, if she doesn't get it, even more reason to distance.
I didn't know family can be so evil I thought it can be others, I was rowng but I do understand and learn my lesson in the hard way. thank you my lord.
You need to cut someone out from your life when there are many communication breakdowns. Either you run out of topics to discuss or they never like the topics you bring up. They always talk about the same thing over and over and play victim when you try to stand your ground because finally what they say is the one that is always right. They are always right and they never apologize for hurting your feelings at all.
When my husband died I cut myself off from my mother in law after the funeral. Best thing I ever did. She was so domineering. It was like being reborn.
“I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” ― Henry David Thoreau, Walden
Both of my parents passed on by the time I was 23. I'm 47 now. I have cut off my 3 sisters because I got tired of being looked down upon. Everyone, you must be as happy as possible and if that means severing ties, then do it. I don't regret my decision at all.....
@AlbShadoW like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I got tired of dealing with their alcoholism and mental illness. It was the right thing to do. I don't know if you've ever had to deal with anyone who has an addiction, but when you point out their problem to them, somehow they make it seem you are the one with the problem and make you question your sanity. I had enough of that and moved on with my life.
Sounds a little extreme in most cases...how about just a nice 5 yr vacation from those toxic ones...they might come around n be cool later. Family is still a bond.
I disowned my toxic "Ego Tistical - Narcissistic Bully" older brother to the curb 14 years ago....and its the best decision i have ever made......if not.....i would be in jail.
If you are blamed for things that you did not do, even as an adult; if you are threatened or made to feel like you need to be afraid. If you are being belittled, gaslighted. Often being told that you can't rely on your own mind/judgement. If you are being the family scapegoat. These are all bad signs. It's scary to feel like you are not able to feel safe around your own family, but, life really does get brighter and better when you put your safety first. D
Omg! This is my mother all my life i have not been good enough. I distant myself from her with the help of my husband. He died in 2017 in front of my daughter and i a masssive heart attack no systoms. My whole life fell apart in a blur of a moment and so did my Finances. My parent are almost 80 years old. Now i must deal with them on my own and its crazy they are so... so negative. My mother is definitely narcissistic and my father is an enabler. She has rages with me about little things puts me down every chance she gets. She never been supportive or affectionate and anyway. My husband was everything to me we meet at 16 years of age and were together for 38 years. Now i have no one to have my back the way he did. I don't want to abandoned them but my anxiety level is high. My mother is so toxic with me. I'm in grief and she is so.. Cold she doesn't give a shit about her husband all she care about is his pension. Am all alone in this shit i feel stuck.
U didn't mention the heightened abuse, belittling, minimization, humiliation, abuse, rejection & gaslighting that accompanies separation. Perhaps you weren't beat bloody like the rest of us. Safety? Only When folks DIE!!!
I love my space, and being alone I raised two children alone with constant financial stress .. Now I can be peaceful and worship God .. cut out all toxic family members,they will destroy your peace.of mind
U made the right decision. It's best to focus on ur kids. Then get caught up in all the drama and chaos with other family. Best 2 put that energy in2 ur kids future extracurricular activities and education learning. Kids wud be much more successful if they had more attention from their parents rather them wasting it on nasty greedy relatives.
I left my home town and moved thousands of miles away to be away from toxic siblings, basically starting over from scratch to build a life for myself without a biological family. I have an older brother who wants back (?) into my life now, 30 years later. He was never a decent person when we were younger, and since I have no good reason to believe he's any different now--along with there never having been any healthy relationship with him--I am saying no to his offers to get involved with each other. No trust, nothing healthy, no need to have this person in my life.
I was estranged for 15 years, went back for two years and everything was way worse than I could have imagined. My mother has narcissistic personality disorder and has ruined the whole family. A counselor told me "these people don't get better--they get worse". I've read that in various writings many times and personally find it to be true.
recall Not really. My brother and I used to be like best friends between the ages of 18 and 24 then his first marriage broke up and he became an entirely different individual. I’m better off with out him in my life though, sad to say. He’s a real douchebag now.
My exact situation ! Only thing different is I haven't got my own place but everything else I can relate to.. A person that never showed any signs of changing as long as you been knowing them will never change this facts💯
I’m from a very large family and I’ve had to cut off a large number of them, including my immediate family. On my own now, but it’s better then living with the abuse and toxicity
@@fml5910 same! Sometimes I do feel too independent, I do find it quite challenging to meet partners and develop those relationships I think that may be linked to being too independent in some respects
Yup, I know this very well, I will make the right decisions starting tomorrow, Moves will be made & finally, I will free myself from those toxic people that slowed down my progress as an entrepreneur, I hope you are currently doing the same! :)
greg sexton I think more people need to be made aware of this subtle form of guilting. “You’re my bro/sis and I love you (so forget about my lying, devaluing of you, drinking, stealing, etc).” Drop em, don’t look back
I sold my Home in N.Carolina, loaded up the largest U.Haul Truck I could rent & towed a car behind it on an Auto Transporter clear across the United States to the West Coast to get away from my toxic family & I did this all by myself with my pets. I left my past (my toxic family) 4000 miles away from where I am now & I don't ever want to see them ever again!
Sounds selfish. Has your family ever done any good for you?????? None at all? We’re not all perfect like you😂 I can imagine the pain you’re causing. If you would try to work things out, instead, then when you have kids they won’t do the same to you.What goes around comes around.
@Blindmatee: Geez you sound like that family she's trying to get away from. LOL. For someone to go to the great lengths she's doing just to get away from certain people I'd be willing to bet that they are as toxic as you appear to be.
When my wife was having seemingly irreconcilable familial differences I said to her one day 'if the person was not a family member, are they someone you'd have as a friend' ? Another time as a kid I asked a counsler 'how do I know if I should keep a re- lationship, regardless' ? He answered 'So long as the relationship is nurturing'. If you remember that there is no such thing as an ob- ligatory relationship, you might be a lot happier. And you might also avoid the Thanksgiving Night- mare.
I cut off ties with my family when I was my early 20s. I move cross country and was never in touch with them again. Today I am 57 living healthy and happy. No regrets whatsoever.
Family truly is someone who truly loves you and had your best interest, but when all you hear is negative and hateful evil talks of others from famiky, CUT THEM OUT! It's so awesome and such a beautiful world away from negative hateful relatives!!!
Good video!! Cutting them off does not necessarily mean you are holding grudges against them or have not forgiven them. It only means you are reducing toxicity or stress in your life as much as you can.
I got out of a toxic marriage when she moved out of state without telling me while I was out of town and demanded I obey and go there too. I stayed and told her to have a nice life. Probably added 20 years to my life expectancy.
Yeah" It's always the ones we love, the ones closest to us, that hurt us the most. Family will be family but they can also be pushed to the side until they learn to respect our decisions.
@@jasoncentore1830 mine too! After mom died dad got help, years in therapy. I met the new version of dad almost 2 years ago now. He is an amazing man & I love him with all my heart. He suffered as well from a lifetime of narc abuse. We both have come a long way & are free to live & thrive in our lives now. My siblings are still trying to play that destructive game. Lol. My happiness wins every time.. Do the work from within so the world around us can so reflect it back. So within, so without. It truly works. You have the right to your happiness, take it!! Love & light. ❤️
@The MGTOW Monk Yes they are & it's hearbreaking to see her narc ways still is alive & well. Right down to my children. Discusting BITCH!! Never let them into you life, they will destroy everything that's beautiful in your life.
Had to cut my brother and sisters out of my life, it seems like every time they called. They were either digging for information on one another or always asking for favors. Not once have they called and said hey how are you doing, can I take you out etc. It was always about gossip or Drama. 😡
Yes,,,I had to cut off all my siblings and even my mother,,,took years of trying for me to finally realize I'm much better off without contact with them,,and I have no guilt or regret, I know I did everything I could.
Yes, George. ...THAT is when we come to have true peace about it - knowing that we did everything that we could to heal the relationship. Peace, Love and MANY Blessings to you! ❤️💙🕊💙❤️ ✨🙏🏽✨
I disowned my toxic "Ego Tistical - Narcissistic Bully" older brother to the curb 14 years ago....and its the best decision i have ever made......if not.....i would be in jail.
When someone is toxic and suffocate you, lies and make up stories, make you look like you’re the devil. When strangers judge you based on someone’s story of you and don’t even know you. They always play the victim , reasonable, sweet and kind... done and over.
Since my post about my mom many things have happen i will return and tell u. Karma has also played a role immediately. But i can honestly tell u this. I am not mad and angry anymore. I smile again. I have my passenger seat back in my car. I feel free. A feeling i havent felt in a long time.
Alisha Draine *I just wanted to let you know I cut my mom out of my life from the age of 15 To 49 ,when I had my children i would go and take them see her but we only stayed for 15+20 min mybe once a month. And I would never let her watch them over the years her health went down the hill so I felt bad and went in to check up on her well 2years ago my mom fell and was in the hospital and then she would stay there up till the day she passed away 2and a half months later I would spend and drive 45min one way to be buy her side because of all the strokes and mini strokes she was not able to communicate with me or anyone and to this day I have a heavy heart and I live with watching her die slowly, I guess what I'm trying to say is we don't know how long we have before life is taken away from us and what i went through I would never wish that on my worse friend. Try to talk to her and explain how your feeling and things should change before its to late to forgive. I sat by my moms side praying for God to help but he had other plans. The night she passed i opened the hospital window or family believes a window should be opened so the soul can go out so after I done that i stayed there for an hour or so and I left i still had to drive home by myself and it was 45mins away well about 10min away from my house i had to slow down because I seen eyes coming on to the road and started to cross i stopped and it was a beautiful deer she walked up to the front of my car looked at me turned around and went back the way she came I believe that was my mom telling me she's ok and thanked me for being there. I hope this helps you out. 🙏👼
@@Anna-mv4ly hi. I understand what you are saying. Maybe i fail to tell everyone that the feeling on me towards my mom was something not easy. Anna it wasnt easy for me to write that. It wasnt easy for me to let go. Still she isnt gone. She knows how i feel. Not once but twice i had to give her blood. Me. She has 3 other kids. But it was me. Im not saying im a saint and Jannah is where im headed. Im saying. Im here. I poured my heart out here because im hurt. I said the list goes on and on, read the rest of the things here. She said call me Mrs.B. not mama Mrs.B. So she been Mrs.B for about 19 years now off my tongue like she requested. Let me tell u this to clarify some things. Its just the way she treated me. She is good to other people she is. This is just my experience my pain. Anna i ran away at 14 years old. She would whip me with 7 belts. Me. Lay me across my bed. I had bruises bad bruises and never showed my back or my legs. That last time my grandma came for me and said get your things u coming with me awhile. I cant forget any of it. Bc it hurt so bad. She put me on a birth control bc i was attractive and just bc i was pretty she assumed i was having sex. I was 15. I was not Anna. I saw other moms. And wanted what my friends had. I never lashed out till when i made my posts here. Im not happy with what i said no. Im not happy with what i did. No. Its bothers me. Because thats the only mama i know. And i know that God is mad bc i suppose to obey my parents and do right by them. So imagine having this on me and i am religious. Its not easy just because i came here. I have spoke to her tho. And i will still do right by her. But Anna the pain is so big. Just think of the things i havent said here thats too embarrassing for me. I understand and if she call me and said i am in the hospital Mook i need blood u are the only my match again. I will go. No hesitation. I heard once u can love a person but u dont have to like them. I think thats where i am. I respect her yes. I love her bc like i said she is good i have seen her do good by many people. But im a different story. So we are better friends. Bc mom and daughter has never worked for us. Mookey is my nickname hehe she gave it to me. I dont even know what a mookey is and if anyone knows let me know.😊 take care Anna
Well honey don't be hard on yourself if you're not completely out of the woods yet. Sometimes these things move in Cycles. You'll be better, then you'll be angry again, then you'll be better... Just don't judge yourself, go with the flow and love yourself. And If You're vulnerable and feeling like reaching out, just wait until you're not feeling upset anymore and see if that's what you really want.
@@mumar8522 I will Pray For you it is hard to break with family. But if they are abusive it is for the best. Have Friends to talk to and realize you are not Alone.
My family has bullied, lied, & mistreated me for years. I feel so much better not being around them. They have always blamed me for everything. I had to realize they weren't for me. I'm 33 & tried so many years. Huge users & liars. I should have set healthy boundaries and loved myself more.
This is a sad reality when you can no longer be around a sibling because one or both of you have changed and can't see eye to eye on anything. And everything about the relationship causes you to question where things went sour. And there is no relief in sight of the anxiety of a confrontation. Time to part company. Painful but liberating.
Same situation w my greedy and lying sister. Had to get rid of her, I feel way better. My father is pissed, he even tries at times and mails a big check and tells me I mailed it to ur sister, just go over and visit. The check was for $3000 and I still haven't picked it up, good try Dad.
If you are always the one who reaches out to keep in touch its a clear signal they don't want you in their life ,just move away and be happy being alone
This video is all true for me. Best day of my life is when I finally woke up and ditched my toxic brothers. The stress and pressure was literally killing me with dozens of health issues arising. My only regret is I didn’t do it 20 years ago to save myself so much pain and suffering. My own self worth and confidence has increased a 1,000 percent. Care for yourself cause no one else will do it for you. Stop waiting for their approval and support that never comes make it happen for yourself...
Once I stop talking it's a rap 4 you. I will tell people I love how I feel, but once I ignore you it's a wrap when I stop talking. Either you heard me and come correct and address the problem or lose me.
I'm so done with being so nice to people and they're not giving back in return. I know my value. My attitude now is your wrong is your fault and you need to handle it.
Toxic people are the really bossy, uppity, narcassist's, who act very condascending toward you. They try to embarrasse you in public. They are full of themselves and dont value any valid opinion or brilliant idea you may have but later on they would impliment it and then take the credit for it. This is a toxic person. The self centered The Bully spirit in them. This video gets 2 thumbs up.
This was insightful as hell because it also gives you a perspective to notice when you may be the toxic family member. Most people here are only focused on what is done toward them, but I feel as if you should also take an optimistic approach where as, you walk the line of not being involved with many of the characteristics yourself. Just know that sometimes “fuck em” is the healthiest medicine, no matter if it is a mom, grandmother, dad, girlfriend, and so on. Free yourself and be well people, I’m rooting for us 🙏🏾.
I had to cut ties with my sister. It' wasn't easy, but it was something I had to do. She screwed out of money. She is very manipulative and conniving. Once I let her out of my life, my life was less stressful.
This is the best video I've ever seen. Ive been taken advantage of for years and because its your family you feel obligated Ive become sick of them all and had to distance myself from them. This video is better than any book id ever read. Thanks for posting it. I'm saving it
Ssme here done that four days ago trying to get myself back not easy but God's in control all I dod was love but they abuse that for 23 years. Thank you trying not to feel guilty
What other warning signs are there that you should cut someone out from your life? Let us know by commenting below!
They nag you for money.
i had to do this .if its endangering your welfare its is nesscary you can forgive love and pray for them without any contact .
Until you need them in emergency 😜
So true, l suffer with a Back complaint l live alone had one adult child. l cauld not move l had collapsed with the back problem . I told her this, l did not ask her to come, but before l even cauld she said, well l can't come my partner has a cold!!!!!! 2 friends helped me.
I had to "cut ties" with my middle daughter. She tells people I "arranged" for her to be raped and that I died in 2003. I had to cut ties with my mother, when I was 17. She put me on a grey hound bus and told me not to worry about where to get off, the driver knew. It sucks not having "blood family" in your life, but I am surviving better without them.
Silence is the best answer...Never tell anyone your plans. Just do it and distance yourself. Never giving too much info!
This is true asf and I've learned it way too late in life.
@@Chester90909 ...For real...keep it a secret. The more you tell, the more they will throw salt your way and make you feel sour. So it is best to keep a low profile and move in silence.
Me too, should of made that move a long time ago
Intuition is everything
You are so right believe me everyone has a clue when they did something wrong to someone. Action speaks louder than words. I have toxic people in my family and I treat them with silence.
Very true. Toxic person can have a very negative impact on your physical and mental..Sometimes, its important to think about yourself first and just move out.
Blood isn't family, blood makes you related to someone. A family is people who love you, support you, is loyal and has your back.
I think if you grew up in foster homes and saw the blood family treated better than you, you might value blood family more.
@@starrlara2599 @Starr Lara there's 8 billion people. 8 billion stories. So your foster home analogy doesn't matter. ❤
Truth!
@@TheRandomINFJ I think it does because there are millions of foster children in the world who feel that way.
@@starrlara2599 It still doesn’t matter
Once you disconnect from someone who is toxic, you will feel excited, elated and alive again!
🙏🏾
Unfortuantely when it comes to family that u are obliged to see every single day and hear their fucking fights u will never get over it it is hard especially if u really care about you
@Lactose Tolerant i have no choice unfortunately. This is killing me in the inside
@Lactose Tolerant i will be trying and thank you
@Lactose Tolerant i wish but m too young to leave home
I feel like such an idiot... I’ve wasted much of my life on fruitlessly seeking love and approval from certain toxic family members. Nothing has changed, and I need to accept this and walk away.
no one can give you that approval. everyone is lost and gone. life is a pigsty
True
RustySpoons Me too. It's hard but necessary
I did the same. I am now estranged from my family.
so did you?
I don't trust anybody, I enjoy being alone! I never felt bored alone. Maybe I'm strange but I can't help it.
You're not strange-it's good to be able to be alone happily. And studies show that people who are happy by themselves have happier relationships (if/when they get in one) because they don't put pressure on the other person to make them happy.
Thank you for this it is a eye opener for am going to get some toxic people out of my life right now
Lol
Karan Field me too!!! Love being with ME.
@Karen field read the 12 special traits of people like you and iı8. One is they like to be alone. They are not bored. The smartest people are those who have few friends. I didn't trust a lot of people when in an abusive relationship, but not good to mistrust all people. I had 1 or 2 very close friends all my life, others need tons of so called friends. I had a few so called friends who had a lot of friends and the reason for that was so if one person couldn't do something to occupy her time, she went to the next on down the line until she found someone. I had to cut off 2 friends because they were starting to use me. Much better off by myself. You are not alone. I like being myself. Also, people who like to be alone are highly intelligent and don't want to get into the gossip and slander and mind games. Be encouraged, you are not alone. When I do go out, I meet the most interesting people and the most interesting conversations.
I had to cut off a lot of family members. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for valuing your peace of mind and emotional health!
Same my cousin family doesn't involve with it so I'll be cutting ties with all of my whole family who abuse me in my childhood lives.
@@heavenlysadist I feel you bruh
My cousins had the nerve to ambush me with questions about what im doing. I do not explain myself. I felt disrespected I had to cut them off.
You did a great thing Octavia! Cut those garbage out. They are a heavy burden
couldn't agree more
Cut off people who try to devalue your worth. Name calling, slanderous gossip, stealing, cheating, and emotional abuse. I pray that anybody who is being mistreated out there finds peace and joy and financial prosperity.😇😇😇
Glad you listed the financial aspect. The lack of money comes with so much embarrasment. It is cool when you don't have to rely on others for anything. It often avoids you being mistreated. God help us all.
Thanks family members who don't see your worth it's time that cut them off even though they had been supportive of you until that support is now gone
Thank you. 💯
My Elder brother 😈💀☠️. Hey! Thanks man wish you the same. Best wishes cheers
Bha Ratha me too bro elder brothers are the jokes in life
I've never understood why family get a free pass to be arseholes. If anyone else treated you like that, you'd kick them out without a second thought.
Never understood that either. It's not okay. It doesn't matter who it is.
Exactly !!!! My older brother is literally soooo toxic ! It helps that he lives in a separate country but i feel i need to cut him off
I’m slowly cutting my mom, sisters and step dad out of my life. All they do is complain and are always negative towards me and my girlfriends. They are just horrible judgmental people
Good point actually.
Its so true
Screw the "we're family" excuse
Family or not they should be a good influence or be kind and loving to you !
Amen
Lara se....You Tube 5 pieces of advice to deal with toxic people in your life. It has Dr. Phil with OWN in the picture. It was the best 5 minutes of wisdom that worked for me. I wish you peace and to be free to be who you were meant to be to shine light in the world!
It's also a real joke when your work pulls that "we're family" crap.
@@rebeccabruton9359 For me personally, my friends ARE my family
@@rebeccabruton9359 But yeah I'm with you about your brother. "We're family" is no excuse when they hurt you.
Another warning sign ... when your always the blame.
WORD!
Peace, Love and MANY Blessings to you, Deahra!
❤️💙🕊💙❤️
✨🙏🏽✨
XOX!
Lucy Renée tushae
BKA..The Scapegoat. Who eventually leaves the family for a better life and succeeds.
Deahra Shelton well said.
Amen!
Yes, when thinking about them depresses you, it is time to move on.
O my yikes !! #truth #spoken
I cry almost everyday
disowned my toxic "Ego Tistical - Narcissistic Bully" older brother to the curb 14 years ago....and its the best decision i have ever made......if not.....i would be in jail.
Yeah I think it’s that time for me.
@@Crimson_626 I hear ya. Same thing here.
When you have to walk on eggshells around them, it's time to cut them off
Well...we all need to be careful & think before saying something since we probably may not fully know others story. Just being careful or considerate with everyone is not necessarily walking on eggshells. Keeping in mind we ALL have our own cross to carry.
@@refilwesteffen9903 That has nothing to do with what they said, they specifically said if you have to walk on egg shells meaning at no point do they feel comfortable to be themselves. And telling people they need to watch what they say? If you live there no one should make you feel uncomfortable in your space. Personal issues don't excuse making others feel less free in their own environment as well
Omg my aunt. She’s awful and I’ve cried 4 hours too long about her. Cutting her out!
@@ginnyrust6874 we going through the same thing rn. My aunty told me never to come back because I called her son a pussy boy in a private feud.
Yesssss
While reading the comments I was surprised to see that there are so many people who view their family members as toxic..
This kind of gives me the reassurance that I‘m not the one who’s crazy. All I want is a peaceful life, I mean we all have other problems to worry about and family should support you instead of abusing you emotionally.
Lara se .. some people just don't want to see you happy .. after my divorce 9 years ago my aunty said "oh well!!! at least you have your cats and kids" it was like she was speaking death over any future possible relationships. She didn't wish to see me re-marry or re-partner .. I am still single as we speak..
@@christinelawrence4315 yess good job
No Doubt 😷🤙
@@christinelawrence4315 You're definetely right! I think your aunty is very miserable and lives an unfulfilled life. Some people don't want to see others happy because they aren't satisfied with their life.
Unfortunately it does affect us although we know that these people are trying to hurt us.. For instance, I never attended any of my graduations. Looking back, I now understand that even though I knew what my family was doing, I still let it affect me and never celebrated any of my accomplishments.
I hope you don't let any negativity of other people affect you and keep you from creating happiness in your life. We only get one life so we should live it to the fullest!
@@larase6119 Amen Lara .. I'm a work in progress as they say .. wishing you every happiness in this world also x
you cant choose who you are related too but u can choose which window to throw them out.
Funny!
I would like to throw my mom and my fat sister out the front living room window. Scratch that I will pay NASA to drop them off on the furthest planet. 30 years of pain. Thanks Mom ur awesome. Funny how bc they give birth to u they feel they know everything and want u to abide by them. The day she said I was dumb and her and my sister laughed. Was the day my anger turned close to hatred until now. Goodbye mom. Goodbye.
Life is like a learning curve you never know what to expect just my opinion.
@@jevonjackson4236 like a learning curve...for me it is a learning experience a curve and everything else. Luckily i learn things the first time around. I dont make the same mistakes over and over. It means its your fault then. And i hate taking the blame for things. 😊
Old joke but still good 🤣🤣🤣🤣
When they constantly try to discourage & demotivate you is another sign
Yes! That's a sign too!
My aunt gets happy at my lowest, I can just hear it in her voice.
@@jessicaperez1473 Te entiendo me pasa con mi mama. Y estoy con un narcisista
@@BestieHealth but how can I live without my family ? Where can I go ? 😔
@@jessicaperez1473 omg! Same!!!
family doesn't necessarily mean blood, family is anyone that loves and truly cares for u and shows it.
Very true.
Which is definitely not me
It is difficult for me to trust new people 😞
Bcz of my damn family I am taking wrong decisions one by one n am so confused in life. Something these people hv given me.
That is so true
If they never own up their mistakes or apologise, and are constantly justifying their negative behavior.
Say that !
@@tamarag9981 I like that I'm going to start saying that
My sister and my mother got this bad
@@cesareborgia7689 😃
And rather expect you to apologize for cutting them off
You can't pick your genetic family. But, you can sure find a new one. End communication, forget about teaching lessons and never look back. Life is too short to waste time.
100%
The second im old enough to leave: Here you can have the 18 years of my life that was wasted happy holidays byyye foreverrrrrrrrr
Yes, life is short. I rather enjoy it with great relationships.
💯
That hurt but is the best ting to do
It’s difficult when you live with them
Mini Mixers Find a way to leave. You can do it.
They can also hurt u from far away. Even if their not in the same room the past is and u have to try so hard to not repeat what was done to you.
Mini Mixers , move
Mini Mixers no really then y will starting winning reaching your full potential in this life
try to come up with a plan, save money and deadline to leave! you can do it
The last laugh is when you show the abusers how successful and happy you are, in spite of their bullying of you! They cannot take it!
Monica Nath that makes u no better than them
Sunflower Shine??????? D.E.A. NARCS??????
Sunflower Shine oh shit my bad
I hope everyone is taking their medication on time.
Yes! My life lesson, "never ever cry in front of your hater, just bounce back and laugh even when there is no reason to " 😂
When they become jealous of your health,wealth,sucess, looks and social life .
True 🙂.
Very true. Happened today in fact. I'm starting a small business, and they come over, smoke in my shop, "accedentilly" destroy my board games, and I can tell they Judge me behind my back. They must just fuck off and leave me alone. I just want to tell them out right.
At 52 I'm finally severing family ties I wish I did it thirty years ago, my life would have been much easier.
Got rid of my asshole brother and backstabbing sister 6 years ago. I'm 58. Never better
I’m cutting ties with everyone except my dad and my younger sister as soon as I can move out of home. I’m 16 now and literally can’t wait for that to happen. My mum and older brother are freaking psychos.
63 and im sooo done. Youngest of 7, 4 dead, parents dead. Have narcissistic and sociopath sister, and brother alive,.,.distanced myself from them....very toxic. I have two married growm children doing well, but issues at times with my daughter over one of my twin granddaughters....now distanting myself from her. LIFE IS SO SHORT AND PRECIOUS....I HAVE A GREAT AND BLESSED LIFE.,..NO MORE NONSENSE!
There is nothing like peace....especially peace of mind and a great relationship with GOD and other positive people. You can only do so much after trying soooo long...im done.
seni Be cool, stay in school. Just focus on that right now and get the best grades you can. I was like you once and I placed getting out above an education and its been a struggle. Get a degree and ENJOY your independence for the rest of your life. You’ll get there if your learning about narcissism now.
This is funny as I read comments.
I have cut both my siblings from my life and feel ashamed because I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t get along with family members. But reading the comments make me realize I’m not so different after all.
I have been trying to put together my family but it's just like a black hole and I'm like a star that gets all energy drained to it. Plus I am the bad one despite trying to put in so much positiveness. If they are so determined in their stupidity I will leave them with it. They can mingle in this black hole of negativity.
So true. You are not alone.
My big sis couldn't stop abusing me. She is fucking toxic and manipulative. Just look at her damn face i feel sick
Omg i feel the same way. Need to cut a negative miserable sister out of my life starting today. Some people who live in their misery will only drag others down
@@cuonghaviet8329 Get her out of your life,you WILL gradually feel better and stronger 😊👍
This is the case with my family. Whenever I come around home I just feel so drained of energy. They are so negative all the time. My parents never believe in me. I think it's time.
@recall Yes especially if you have narcissists parents :( for some reason l panic when around them or i feel so dead depressed and tired. It's mentally tiring and so exhausting
I feel u
Same here.. being an asian and standing up for yourself is disrespectful for elders here...
May God Bless you
How are you now?
You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family
But you can disown them,,
Amen!!
Disown family and friends at your peril.
@@Jackgritty28 No, the only peril is keeping toxic people in your life.
And also disposes of them
Well done!
Family is over rated.
Humanity is overrated
My animals are treated with more respect from me than I treat my family. My family constantly complain about it too 😆
@@JimmyFranny best comment yet
@@animallover4101 lol thats why im getting an African grey after free myself
Unfortunately we all dont have families that mean us any good cut them out of your life,the feeling of guilt will go away as you heal and feel better about yourself 😊
That peacefulness when you can relate with everybody in the comments and nobody's claiming you're a bad person and that you should deal with it because "they're your family!". Positive vibes to all!
WORD!
Love & Blessings to you, too!
❤️💙🕊💙❤️
✨🙏🏽✨
I know right!!!!
Thank you! Great response. 💚💜💙👏👏👏👏👏🙏🙏I think we all needed to hear that!
Right! I'm loving it everyone here has me so pumped
It's good to see some many similar cases
We all deserve happiness
I stopped talking to all my relatives I am actually much happier now, less drama and less people to ask me for favors or money.
Always speak less then what you know... and that includes your goals, knowledge, and ambitions. You dont owe it to any one to explain yourself. Just have respect for yourself, dont do any harm to others, mind your own business, stay focused, and keep on going in your journey.
💯💯 amen !! .
YES THANK YOU!!!
This the best advice I have ever heard in my life
When I spoke about my dreams and goals around my siblings they’d always say that I wouldn’t do it especially when I’m trying to lose weight 😔
That's pretty much what i have been doing
I am blessed with the gift of “GOOD BYE” no shame....bye! Still love you, just can’t AND won’t deal with you on ANY level.
That's one way to go! 🤟🏼
My family are very toxic I choose to cut them all off!
Same here. You are not alone!
@claire bigelow true .same here.
I dıd the same..and it felt SO GOOD..family are the persons you want to be with; nothing to do with blood.
You are never alone... God is with you. You are your own best friend. God is our father and mother.
Ileana Hope sadly I have to do the same thing to my family all of them my mom doesn’t understand that I have kids and she needs to listen w my husband and I about what to give them to eat but my kids should not have to deal with being in pain cuz my parents don’t listen
If there is no BOND, they are just RELATIVES; people you are related to by blood and DNA. FAMILY is a BOND and the thing about FAMILY is that "it DO NOT need to be blood based". People think the two terms are interchangeable and it is not; there is a distinct difference between the two. For example, your parents do not need to be your "FAMILY MEMBER", but just RELATIVES. On the other hand your bestfriend can be a "FAMILY MEMBER" because of the "BOND" you share with them. I hope I made it clear for everybody who may be confused about it.
Great point!
This is what religion teaches. A true brother is one who loves for you what he loves for himself.
Amen
With people being the way they are, it is highly unlikely that one will form a bond with non-blood relatives.
@@786swe That can be the case with some individuals, but I still see your point.
My oldest sister stabbed me in the back and I was devastated to find out how much she hated me despite me loving and treating her well - I knew I had evil hateful backstabbing family members and sisters but I thought we were close now l know who she is and I’m I done my heart can’t deal - I’ll just love on my daughter my dad and my loyal dog.
❤️❤️
Same😓that’s how I got to this vid
Sounds that she was always jealous to you or just been mean for some reason.
I cut toxic family members out of my life in my early teens and pretty much raised myself.
Rhonda Koski ,lucky u, I didn't +regret it, so much time wasted being nice to mean jealous bastards
@@gocoyle5560 Jealous is sooo right..
Also dangerous..
I myself has raised myself from 12 or 13 on up. I had both my parents but they didn't care that I was doing grown shit at that age. I raised myself.
I sadly had to this with my siblings. I never imagined my own blood would turn against me.
let me ask what should I do if my brother-in-law just passed away & I haven't spoken to my sister in over 15 yrs. She has never made an attempt to call me at all. I was emotionally & verbally abused by everybody. Am I obligated to go his wake and funeral.
@@user-uo4hl4dc4b The choice is always yours, that "obligation" is only what you've created inside your head. Search your feelings. What is that singular emotion that arise when you think of this situation. Do what is right for yourself, that which ultimately serves you. If you attend the funeral only to be met with more suffering be it from backbiting, gossip and arguments, it's better to let it go and just carry on with your life. Bottom line is... Do not regret the choice you've made, learn to honor and accept once it's been decided. The possibilities are there. You might attend to perhaps slowly mend your relationship with your sister eventually or not attend at all because deep down in your heart you know you hate her no matter what. You know yourself and you can't lie to yourself.. Do what feels right because its for your own well-being, nothing else...
@@VerdantJedi
I feel like I'll die. I'm 65 and house has to be sold. I'm terrified. I've become codependent. my life is 3 quaters over. I need a miracle.
@@VerdantJedi oops. I also have other problems which has nothing to do with the funeral. sorry bout that. I'm a mess I need a lot of prayers.😡
It hurts. we use to b close but that changed real fast. I don't trust anyone. animals don't judge.
Also: Slanderous gossip. They manage to convince your other relatives that they should shun you & embrace them. The reason for my anonymous account is solely due to the toxic & abusive family members that continuously try to destroy what I love. Thus...an anonymous account where I'm free to express my thoughts. & perhaps even help others. :)
Yeah it's crazy when they stalk your pages to have shit to talk about or to be nosey.
Your the man dude, your the shit! That's a good thing. You roll Wollypollywakadoodle! ✊
Trying to find a job now so I can save up and move. I'm ready to leave this house.
Me too
Sounds like you’re doing the right thing.
Same
I used to feel like u
I moved out when I werent ready. To tell you the truth, it sucks and hurts me a lot. Im forced to leave and now, i become better and feeling peace. Its just normal sometimes life knock you down, so just be patient and do the hard work for your future.
This is so true. Get out while you can. You can love them cuz their family but you dont have to like them or associate with them. Its sad, but so real. They might treat you nice sometimes, but they have motive. Think twice before you except there kindness. I lived it.
Exactly. And they use gifts as guilt trips and manipulative motives.
Some people in my family are sometimey nice too. I wander why they do this.
@@EugeneAxe been there...
They are nice sometimes but they will always go back to treating you the same way. Best to just stay away and don't engage. It will never change. You just have to leave.
True!!
My family is very toxic especially my mum who stalks my online activities, touch my things n journal, invade my privacy n always spreading negativity. She can't zip her mouth. I want to move out rather leave alone than with her, given her so many chance but never change. I never trust her anymore.
😞😣
Yes my mother is also same she is worst I think but we are same.
It's very sad to have to cut someone out of your life, yet, sometimes it's necessary. The love for them is still with me, yet, it's better to have less drama, more peace, be able to sleep better at night.
Exactly correct.
Totally
If not they will kill you
Peace and drama could be linked to 😴 sleep!
I think individuals that can let go in peace are individuals that don’t carry any weight of pain or negativity. In the end we all end up alone in our final days on this earth, it doesn’t mean we carry every individual with us to the very end.
I had to cut 3 of these types of toxic relationships from my own family my so called siblings are all extremely toxic and manipulating...I feel great now.
Show me the toxicology report! 😢 ✔️
Family doesn’t have to be blood related, it should be the people who make you feel good and respected.
Sad and true but sometimes your own family can be your worst enemies, I know I have cut off several family members and now I am much happier , my give a damn busted long ago and I am now 50
I'm in my 50's and cut ties with my parents and I wish I've done it sooner, We are brainwash in thinking that we never go against our parents and respect fully. But what are parents! just other Human Beings on this planet.They should not be view like gods and you have to respect them at all cost. I 'm so happy that they are not in my life any more. I wish that society would start making parents accountable for their bad parenting.
Going through family battles now and the family that does wrong does not see it as a battle they think they can have their disrespect of the past without apology which I said they must present and move on but I told family members that I have principles and you cannot be flowing with me as if everything is okay and my spouse is not respected they do not believe they need to apologize and they think that she is wrong because she addressed them on a church matter.. they think you are not supposed to communicate every subject to a spouse but I disagree they blame her for telling me things that they were doing to her and blame her for separating me from my family but I told them I agree she is right and a spouse is supposed to share everything with a spouse first... kids come second and parents third and siblings fourth that is the order they do not want to accept this but I said I have principles and they must accept it and unfortunately the member is the father and a sister the father is in his mid-70s but unfortunately we are resisting communicating with each other and he thinks he's right but I know that I am right and my sister we have battles once every two years but still no flow because they are mad because my spouse talk to him in the first place of this church matter ...for those out there who I'm cutting out family make sure you are right not by your own mind but in judgement of righteousness and principles of marriage that come first when the marriage is healthy
My "family"its hurting my kids sharing time with them causes bad things to me pain and shame it feels like if them wanna crahs me made me graund meet😨
@@soniafunabazamamunguia9956 cut them off, I'm sure slowly but surely they are poisoning your children. My place was similar. Once it started spilling onto my kids, that really had me boiling
@@sugarbum99 i just cut them off it did work now i'm a lot more happy and tranquil!thanks for care
And when sibling tries to diminish you to other family members, it's time to cut the cord
Try to have a serious and CALM conversation before cutting ties...
Ssookawai yeah that doesn’t work with a narcissist or borderline
When your own mother pits you against other family members and they oblige by that evilness, that's when you really have to cut ties.
The funny thing about that is, when you do move away from them and live life without them, here they come using poor excuses as to why they need to see you or ask for something.
Yep..The exact same thing happen 2 me w/1 sibling..I'm sooo damn done w/her..Goodbye 2 her..
Ssookawai After she did it multiple times, I told her why. She didn't apologize yet didn't argue about it or try to change my mind. Leaving me wondering if she understands what she did. Still, if she doesn't get it, even more reason to distance.
I m sorry to anyone who ever being broke by family... I sure you gonna survive and u gonna have beautiful life
Amen xxxxx thanks for your words xxxx
I didn't know family can be so evil I thought it can be others, I was rowng but I do understand and learn my lesson in the hard way. thank you my lord.
Thanks Kyle I didn't know one day I will cry for my family to love me, that was a horrible lesson, I won't forget. 😭
You need to cut someone out from your life when there are many communication breakdowns. Either you run out of topics to discuss or they never like the topics you bring up. They always talk about the same thing over and over and play victim when you try to stand your ground because finally what they say is the one that is always right. They are always right and they never apologize for hurting your feelings at all.
Nara Dachi that was my lot to a tee ditched 12 years ago best thing I’ve ever done.
So true!
Nara Dachi my husband t a tee...currently trying to get him out of my life (and my house)...he won't go. HELP!!!
Yeah, that's not good. That's very undermining to a person's sense of worth.
@@triciadkieper3536 Divorce?
When my husband died I cut myself off from my mother in law after the funeral. Best thing I ever did. She was so domineering. It was like being reborn.
“I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden
Both of my parents passed on by the time I was 23. I'm 47 now. I have cut off my 3 sisters because I got tired of being looked down upon. Everyone, you must be as happy as possible and if that means severing ties, then do it. I don't regret my decision at all.....
@AlbShadoW like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I got tired of dealing with their alcoholism and mental illness. It was the right thing to do. I don't know if you've ever had to deal with anyone who has an addiction, but when you point out their problem to them, somehow they make it seem you are the one with the problem and make you question your sanity. I had enough of that and moved on with my life.
Which part of your sisters did you cut, not the abs I hope! 😢 ✔️ 🇯🇲
when you are abused for years, its time to walk away and love only at a distance. Sad!
I have just cut my relationship with my father and mother. I feel so released.
Good because they wasted a lot yers
A sibling can turn out to have a completely different character, your family are those who are like-minded.
OMW!!! SOOO TRUE..
Sounds a little extreme in most cases...how about just a nice 5 yr vacation from those toxic ones...they might come around n be cool later. Family is still a bond.
The character of the sibling ain't like minded.
I disowned my toxic "Ego Tistical - Narcissistic Bully" older brother to the curb 14 years ago....and its the best decision i have ever made......if not.....i would be in jail.
If you are blamed for things that you did not do, even as an adult; if you are threatened or made to feel like you need to be afraid. If you are being belittled, gaslighted. Often being told that you can't rely on your own mind/judgement. If you are being the family scapegoat. These are all bad signs. It's scary to feel like you are not able to feel safe around your own family, but, life really does get brighter and better when you put your safety first.
D
This sounds like me. I am better off.
My, other people have gone through this, too.
Omg! This is my mother all my life i have not been good enough. I distant myself from her with the help of my husband. He died in 2017 in front of my daughter and i a masssive heart attack no systoms. My whole life fell apart in a blur of a moment and so did my Finances. My parent are almost 80 years old. Now i must deal with them on my own and its crazy they are so... so negative. My mother is definitely narcissistic and my father is an enabler. She has rages with me about little things puts me down every chance she gets. She never been supportive or affectionate and anyway. My husband was everything to me we meet at 16 years of age and were together for 38 years. Now i have no one to have my back the way he did. I don't want to abandoned them but my anxiety level is high. My mother is so toxic with me. I'm in grief and she is so.. Cold she doesn't give a shit about her husband all she care about is his pension. Am all alone in this shit i feel stuck.
U didn't mention the heightened abuse, belittling, minimization, humiliation, abuse, rejection & gaslighting that accompanies separation. Perhaps you weren't beat bloody like the rest of us. Safety? Only When folks DIE!!!
This sounds like what my family and everybody else does to me.
I love my space, and being alone I raised two children alone with constant financial stress .. Now I can be peaceful and worship God .. cut out all toxic family members,they will destroy your peace.of mind
U made the right decision. It's best to focus on ur kids. Then get caught up in all the drama and chaos with other family. Best 2 put that energy in2 ur kids future extracurricular activities and education learning. Kids wud be much more successful if they had more attention from their parents rather them wasting it on nasty greedy relatives.
I left my home town and moved thousands of miles away to be away from toxic siblings, basically starting over from scratch to build a life for myself without a biological family. I have an older brother who wants back (?) into my life now, 30 years later.
He was never a decent person when we were younger, and since I have no good reason to believe he's any different now--along with there never having been any healthy relationship with him--I am saying no to his offers to get involved with each other.
No trust, nothing healthy, no need to have this person in my life.
I was estranged for 15 years, went back for two years and everything was way worse than I could have imagined. My mother has narcissistic personality disorder and has ruined the whole family. A counselor told me "these people don't get better--they get worse". I've read that in various writings many times and personally find it to be true.
I’m happy to know that a fresh start helped you. I am contemplating the same myself. I hope you stay happy the rest of your days
recall Not really. My brother and I used to be like best friends between the ages of 18 and 24 then his first marriage broke up and he became an entirely different individual. I’m better off with out him in my life though, sad to say. He’s a real douchebag now.
My exact situation ! Only thing different is I haven't got my own place but everything else I can relate to.. A person that never showed any signs of changing as long as you been knowing them will never change this facts💯
I’m from a very large family and I’ve had to cut off a large number of them, including my immediate family. On my own now, but it’s better then living with the abuse and toxicity
@@fml5910 same! Sometimes I do feel too independent, I do find it quite challenging to meet partners and develop those relationships I think that may be linked to being too independent in some respects
Or when they complain alot. They just call u and complain about everything smh.
Yup, I know this very well, I will make the right decisions starting tomorrow, Moves will be made & finally, I will free myself from those toxic people that slowed down my progress as an entrepreneur, I hope you are currently doing the same! :)
OMG YAAASSSS MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!
Yes same here my sister and mother and some of my relatives !!
Emotional vampires
@@anonhgj1422 hey I can feel you so much. I've a toxic family too. I just wanted to know, did you cut them off? It's been a year, any progress yet?
People who tell u they love u as a way of making up 4 having hurt u over and over. Abusing the idea of love.
greg sexton I think more people need to be made aware of this subtle form of guilting. “You’re my bro/sis and I love you (so forget about my lying, devaluing of you, drinking, stealing, etc).” Drop em, don’t look back
I sold my Home in N.Carolina, loaded up the largest U.Haul Truck I could rent & towed a car behind it on an Auto Transporter clear across the United States to the West Coast to get away from my toxic family & I did this all by myself with my pets. I left my past (my toxic family) 4000 miles away from where I am now & I don't ever want to see them ever again!
Sounds selfish. Has your family ever done any good for you?????? None at all? We’re not all perfect like you😂 I can imagine the pain you’re causing. If you would try to work things out, instead, then when you have kids they won’t do the same to you.What goes around comes around.
Wow. Impressed!
@Blindmatee: Geez you sound like that family she's trying to get away from. LOL. For someone to go to the great lengths she's doing just to get away from certain people I'd be willing to bet that they are as toxic as you appear to be.
Good for you! That is what I feel like doing, But my mom counts on me too much.
That's how I feel
When my wife was having seemingly irreconcilable
familial differences I said to her one day 'if the person was not a family member,
are they someone you'd
have as a friend' ?
Another time as a kid I asked a counsler 'how do I know if I should keep a re-
lationship, regardless' ?
He answered 'So long as the relationship is nurturing'.
If you remember that there is no such thing as an ob-
ligatory relationship, you
might be a lot happier.
And you might also avoid
the Thanksgiving Night-
mare.
I cut off ties with my family when I was my early 20s. I move cross country and was never in touch with them again. Today I am 57 living healthy and happy. No regrets whatsoever.
I am so proud of you 🎉😊
Family truly is someone who truly loves you and had your best interest, but when all you hear is negative and hateful evil talks of others from famiky, CUT THEM OUT!
It's so awesome and such a beautiful world away from negative hateful relatives!!!
A huge warning is when they disrespect you, and think it’s okay because YOU will get over it because that’s what you’re SUPPOSED to do.
Good video!! Cutting them off does not necessarily mean you are holding grudges against them or have not forgiven them. It only means you are reducing toxicity or stress in your life as much as you can.
True!
Thank you. I thought I was holding grudges. This comment is a direct talk to me.
Very well put - thanks Dylan
Agree, so true.
Only few understand it
Warning: You might experience happiness! Proceed w caution
Andreas Landgren caution this topic is not for you
Andreas Landgren 😃
Ditched my sister 2 years ago, once I cut ties things were great, that told me I made the right decision
nenehurt2596 evan you have a point thx
😂 oh i love this !
I cut out everyone almost. I have my husband, his mom, our children, my step dad and that’s it. Life has been amazing without them!
Honestly how I envision my future, I hope my SOs family is worth all this pain I'm forcing myself through
I got out of a toxic marriage when she moved out of state without telling me while I was out of town and demanded I obey and go there too. I stayed and told her to have a nice life. Probably added 20 years to my life expectancy.
Except your life to be toxic! 😢 ✔️ 🇯🇲
@@gocoyle5560 be Jealous and don't be honest! 😢 ✔️ 🇯🇲
@@gocoyle5560 check the wording of your previous comment! 😢 ✔️
@@gocoyle5560 relieve your stress by getting to the 👉 point! 😢 ✔️
Wow...Freedom
Yeah" It's always the ones we love, the ones closest to us, that hurt us the most. Family will be family but they can also be pushed to the side until they learn to respect our decisions.
Whenever my dad calls, my heart beats so fast, I feel stressed, and scared. I knew if I answer the phone we'll be confronting each other
Family is something we are born into, we don't get to choose! Anyone can have a baby, doesn't mean they are deserving of one. Luck of the draw!
Both my parents!!!
@@jasoncentore1830 mine too! After mom died dad got help, years in therapy. I met the new version of dad almost 2 years ago now. He is an amazing man & I love him with all my heart. He suffered as well from a lifetime of narc abuse. We both have come a long way & are free to live & thrive in our lives now. My siblings are still trying to play that destructive game. Lol. My happiness wins every time..
Do the work from within so the world around us can so reflect it back. So within, so without. It truly works. You have the right to your happiness, take it!! Love & light. ❤️
@The MGTOW Monk Yes they are & it's hearbreaking to see her narc ways still is alive & well. Right down to my children. Discusting BITCH!! Never let them into you life, they will destroy everything that's beautiful in your life.
I cut all of mine off in 2008. It was a huge burden lifted.
I will soon for good after graduating. I'm ready for a simple honest life...
Should keep any dreads you had, if any! 😢 ✔️ 🇯🇲
Mr Gee sweeeet
I've no love for my family. They suck and that's all I have to say about that. They are beyond negative, and I will never allow that to bring me down.
Had to cut my brother and sisters out of my life, it seems like every time they called. They were either digging for information on one another or always asking for favors.
Not once have they called and said hey how are you doing, can I take you out etc. It was always about gossip or Drama. 😡
Esotherwise Otherwise
Life is Drama
It’s just choosing the Good Drama over the Bad Drama
Lifes about knowing what bridges to burn and what bridges to save !
The golden gate should be burned, not the harbour bridge, because the harbour bridge is being used for suicides! 😢 ✔️ 🇯🇲
Jackie Caldwell NUTTIN TO SAY BUT AMEN!!!!!
Well said, Jackie!
" toxic" ones stick together LOL
😂
So true lol
100% true
So true! They stuck together and I am not toxic I walk away!
Yes,,,I had to cut off all my siblings and even my mother,,,took years of trying for me to finally realize I'm much better off without contact with them,,and I have no guilt or regret, I know I did everything I could.
Yes, George. ...THAT is when we come to have true peace about it - knowing that we did everything that we could to heal the relationship.
Peace, Love and MANY Blessings to you!
❤️💙🕊💙❤️
✨🙏🏽✨
I disowned my toxic "Ego Tistical - Narcissistic Bully" older brother to the curb 14 years ago....and its the best decision i have ever made......if not.....i would be in jail.
Those exact thoughts give me peace.
When your far distant family is toxic, they're selfish, rude and mean-spirited.
When someone is toxic and suffocate you, lies and make up stories, make you look like you’re the devil. When strangers judge you based on someone’s story of you and don’t even know you. They always play the victim , reasonable, sweet and kind... done and over.
Since my post about my mom many things have happen i will return and tell u. Karma has also played a role immediately. But i can honestly tell u this. I am not mad and angry anymore. I smile again. I have my passenger seat back in my car. I feel free. A feeling i havent felt in a long time.
Alisha Draine *I just wanted to let you know I cut my mom out of my life from the age of 15 To 49 ,when I had my children i would go and take them see her but we only stayed for 15+20 min mybe once a month. And I would never let her watch them over the years her health went down the hill so I felt bad and went in to check up on her well 2years ago my mom fell and was in the hospital and then she would stay there up till the day she passed away 2and a half months later I would spend and drive 45min one way to be buy her side because of all the strokes and mini strokes she was not able to communicate with me or anyone and to this day I have a heavy heart and I live with watching her die slowly, I guess what I'm trying to say is we don't know how long we have before life is taken away from us and what i went through I would never wish that on my worse friend. Try to talk to her and explain how your feeling and things should change before its to late to forgive. I sat by my moms side praying for God to help but he had other plans. The night she passed i opened the hospital window or family believes a window should be opened so the soul can go out so after I done that i stayed there for an hour or so and I left i still had to drive home by myself and it was 45mins away well about 10min away from my house i had to slow down because I seen eyes coming on to the road and started to cross i stopped and it was a beautiful deer she walked up to the front of my car looked at me turned around and went back the way she came I believe that was my mom telling me she's ok and thanked me for being there. I hope this helps you out. 🙏👼
@@Anna-mv4ly hi. I understand what you are saying. Maybe i fail to tell everyone that the feeling on me towards my mom was something not easy. Anna it wasnt easy for me to write that. It wasnt easy for me to let go. Still she isnt gone. She knows how i feel. Not once but twice i had to give her blood. Me. She has 3 other kids. But it was me. Im not saying im a saint and Jannah is where im headed. Im saying. Im here. I poured my heart out here because im hurt. I said the list goes on and on, read the rest of the things here. She said call me Mrs.B. not mama Mrs.B. So she been Mrs.B for about 19 years now off my tongue like she requested. Let me tell u this to clarify some things. Its just the way she treated me. She is good to other people she is. This is just my experience my pain. Anna i ran away at 14 years old. She would whip me with 7 belts. Me. Lay me across my bed. I had bruises bad bruises and never showed my back or my legs. That last time my grandma came for me and said get your things u coming with me awhile. I cant forget any of it. Bc it hurt so bad. She put me on a birth control bc i was attractive and just bc i was pretty she assumed i was having sex. I was 15. I was not Anna. I saw other moms. And wanted what my friends had. I never lashed out till when i made my posts here. Im not happy with what i said no. Im not happy with what i did. No. Its bothers me. Because thats the only mama i know. And i know that God is mad bc i suppose to obey my parents and do right by them. So imagine having this on me and i am religious. Its not easy just because i came here. I have spoke to her tho. And i will still do right by her. But Anna the pain is so big. Just think of the things i havent said here thats too embarrassing for me. I understand and if she call me and said i am in the hospital Mook i need blood u are the only my match again. I will go. No hesitation. I heard once u can love a person but u dont have to like them. I think thats where i am. I respect her yes. I love her bc like i said she is good i have seen her do good by many people. But im a different story. So we are better friends. Bc mom and daughter has never worked for us. Mookey is my nickname hehe she gave it to me. I dont even know what a mookey is and if anyone knows let me know.😊 take care Anna
@@Anna-mv4ly O sorry i wrote so much.
Well honey don't be hard on yourself if you're not completely out of the woods yet. Sometimes these things move in Cycles. You'll be better, then you'll be angry again, then you'll be better... Just don't judge yourself, go with the flow and love yourself. And If You're vulnerable and feeling like reaching out, just wait until you're not feeling upset anymore and see if that's what you really want.
Happy for you 🙂
I had to cut Ties with my Family they were very destructive to me. Always trying to destroy my happiness.
Same here.. i have a stupid former sister. Everytine im around her i feel sick
@@JtXwb it is hard when family is hurtful. They know our secrets some times you just must cut them out take care.
@@dunning234 yess cut them right outtt
@Khaleeq awww man. I cant wait to leave out of this house
@@mumar8522 I will Pray For you it is hard to break with family. But if they are abusive it is for the best. Have Friends to talk to and realize you are not Alone.
I really needed this. I've been struggling for YEARS. Now I know what I must do. Positivity vibes for everyone
You MUST leave when your family abuses you.
My whole immediate family is like this.
Yes sister my too I wish why I didn't got good family.
Mine too. Dont know where I came from?
My family has bullied, lied, & mistreated me for years. I feel so much better not being around them. They have always blamed me for everything. I had to realize they weren't for me. I'm 33 & tried so many years. Huge users & liars. I should have set healthy boundaries and loved myself more.
This is a sad reality when you can no longer be around a sibling because one or both of you have changed and can't see eye to eye on anything. And everything about the relationship causes you to question where things went sour. And there is no relief in sight of the anxiety of a confrontation. Time to part company. Painful but liberating.
Anxiety is sour! 😢 ✔️ 🇯🇲
Same situation w my greedy and lying sister. Had to get rid of her, I feel way better. My father is pissed, he even tries at times and mails a big check and tells me I mailed it to ur sister, just go over and visit. The check was for $3000 and I still haven't picked it up, good try Dad.
@@jasoncentore1830 Wow, what a manipulator he is! Why didn't he insist that your sister stop lying instead? Glad you're standing up for yourself!
How sad, there are so many of us, ..... doesn’t speak well for our culture. Toxic family. Hummm. No wonder there are so many Angry individuals.
You make a very valid point. Thank you.
keep your light in your heart, then your kids surely will be in good hands
Angry because I'm a target and I will be treated worse my whole life while others won't.
If you are always the one who reaches out to keep in touch its a clear signal they don't want you in their life ,just move away and be happy being alone
This video is all true for me. Best day of my life is when I finally woke up and ditched my toxic brothers. The stress and pressure was literally killing me with dozens of health issues arising. My only regret is I didn’t do it 20 years ago to save myself so much pain and suffering. My own self worth and confidence has increased a 1,000 percent. Care for yourself cause no one else will do it for you. Stop waiting for their approval and support that never comes make it happen for yourself...
You should wait for their approval, if any! 😢 ✔️
Jack Gritty
I think you mean shouldn’t...wait for their approval.
@@kgourlay6717 either way! 😢 ✔️
As a brother, i hope u get gout.
Dave Jones NPC #7388299
Just what a toxic person would say.
Once I stop talking it's a rap 4 you. I will tell people I love how I feel, but once I ignore you it's a wrap when I stop talking. Either you heard me and come correct and address the problem or lose me.
I'm so done with being so nice to people and they're not giving back in return. I know my value. My attitude now is your wrong is your fault and you need to handle it.
Bye bye Family time to leave im having Health problems!!
Hope your ok
Toxic people are the really bossy, uppity, narcassist's, who act very condascending toward you. They try to embarrasse you in public. They are full of themselves and dont value any valid opinion or brilliant idea you may have but later on they would impliment it and then take the credit for it. This is a toxic person. The self centered The Bully spirit in them.
This video gets 2 thumbs up.
My brother who throws insults, and says he's joking he loves me.. It's annoying A.F.
So true give me you're whatsApp number lys talk I'm having a Hard time with toxic family 👪😭😖🤧🥺
This was insightful as hell because it also gives you a perspective to notice when you may be the toxic family member. Most people here are only focused on what is done toward them, but I feel as if you should also take an optimistic approach where as, you walk the line of not being involved with many of the characteristics yourself. Just know that sometimes “fuck em” is the healthiest medicine, no matter if it is a mom, grandmother, dad, girlfriend, and so on. Free yourself and be well people, I’m rooting for us 🙏🏾.
I had to cut ties with my sister. It' wasn't easy, but it was something I had to do. She screwed out of money. She is very manipulative and conniving. Once I let her out of my life, my life was less stressful.
I agree I need to do it she doesn't make me happy
Same expirienced
Just because they're family, doesn't mean they'll be your friend!
👍👍👍👍👍👍
I am standing up for myself and I am proud of myself for how far I come, these 13 years without either group's of people.
I had to cut a lot of people out of my life not just my family
Thing is, people think in some countries that you absolutely HAVE TO keep working shit out with family.
@@mr.wright9867 that's my country but I'm really gonna move far away from my parents :))
This is the best video I've ever seen. Ive been taken advantage of for years and because its your family you feel obligated Ive become sick of them all and had to distance myself from them. This video is better than any book id ever read. Thanks for posting it. I'm saving it
I've been taken advantage of for years too. I want to distance myself from them but there's nowhere to distance myself to. I'm sick of all of them.
Ssme here done that four days ago trying to get myself back not easy but God's in control all I dod was love but they abuse that for 23 years.
Thank you trying not to feel guilty
And also the comment section haha.
I feel u
People that tell you your feelings aren't valid or down play your pain and make it about them.