I’m would love having a part 2 to accommodate the first one. As fun as it was to hear you read other peoples paragraph stories, I am really curious to when you get to read my paragraph!
That was literally so interesting, everyone had such good stories! Thanks for the feedback on mine as well and I’d definitely watch a part two. Maybe you could do a video about balancing time spent on hobbies and schoolwork?
Madi writes WW2 fiction, this was by far my favorite one. I could tell just by reading they had a southern accent. And was back in the early 1900s. And the fact that she is only 11 years old makes it that much more impressive. I hope that she turns it into a full novel for many to read. I normally don't read anything about war, but I was taken back back by the dialogue between the mother and daughter. I hope to see the book in the future.
I loved this video! Would totally watch a part 2! Also, here is another slightly longer paragraph and although it's not my second paragraph, it answers a few of the questions you asked about my submission! “Queen Rora of Kamorite!” The crowd cheered, rising to their feet as they clapped. I stood awkwardly, uncertain of what to do. I sent a tiny wave to my little sister, who’s blue eyes mirrored mine. I was suddenly rushed off the platform with a gentle hand on my back, ushering me to move.
Wow, thank you so much for the feedback! And don’t worry about Jared, he’s very much alive lol! Everyone else’s stories are really interesting as well :D Edit: also, thank you for being a place for writers to feel safe sharing their WIPs and getting feedback!
i seriously almost cried reading this!! ahhhh!! your comment seriously has made my day, and ahh, what the hec your so so sweeet!!!! thank you so much for everything, your the reason i like to make videos like this. the reason i stay up late editing until i get everything right and perfect for you guys. i just wish I could hug you!!!! thank you so much, just THANK UUU!!❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’d love a part two!! 😊 Here’s mine, I already put in on the community tab but if this is more convenient 🙂 here’s the opening of the massive rewrite/edit of my fantasy novel: The edge of the paper crumpled under Karina’s fingertips. She loosened her grip, then smoothed out the crinkles in the invitation. It wouldn’t be long. She wouldn’t have to stay there long. Right?
I love how hyped you get for the stories! I never see that in writing critiques, and I think it's extremely important as you can make or break someone's spirit. I subscribed for that alone!
i am so grateful to you, i wrote 2 books and then got super overwhelemd cause i was using only 1 tool, wattpad. it was NOT great but now i've gotten back into writting using docs and campfire, still need to learn lattics but im looking forward to writting this book ive been thinking of writting for over 2 years now
This was really cool to see how different everyone's work is :) Thank you for the feedback, totally agree with comments, the story does continue a little more about the fathers death as its a memorial service. But agree it's quite early to just hit a reader like that. Also thank you for saying you like my name, I may reconsider using my real name (kirie-lea) as my pen name rather than an alias
4:00 I disagree, it’s not shocking, and it is relevant immediately - his death is why she has more duties now. I think it all reads very nicely: we read about father’s death - it’s ordinary and relatable, then we read about “increasing duties” and worry if girl is cinderella-style abused or something, and then-bam!-she is a princess; it’s cool twist and explains what kind of duties she might have. It’s original introduction of common concept and character is immediately understandable and relatable.
This was so interesting seeing everyone’s first chapters! I did comment a random piece of my book there but I might have been too late but I would really appreciate if you could read it! But it’s ok! I would loveee a part 2! Love uuu❤️❤️❤️
I wish you made a part two but here's mine lol😂 When the automatic doors open, a cold gust of air blows through them and leaves me with a freezing chill. I tightly clench the white bags in my hands before turning in the direction of my car and walking down the poorly lit street. This city is always crowded in the daytime. However, at night there's almost no sign of life besides the drunks at the local alcohol store and the cars driving down the streets to god knows where. I let a deep breath of smoke-filled air into my lungs as I made my way to the parking lot where my car was being held hostage; just as I was close to it I heard the loud sound of crashing. I flinched at the obnoxiously loud sound, almost dropping the two bags in my hands; as my fingers tensed up the rest of my body followed. There was so much darkness tonight that I could barely see 5 feet ahead of me. After enough looking, I finally realized that the sound had come from one of the dark alleyways right in front of me. The street was already terribly lit so the alleys looked so dark that if you went through one you would probably never find your way out again. It was probably just a raccoon.
Ok let’s just shout out the authors of these stories because they were all so amazing 👏 Ana your channel is growing so much!! I’m so happy for you! Congrats!
OH MY GOSH I SAW MYSELF AT THE LAST SCREEN 😭😭 I definitely need a part2 because I was really hoping to be included lmao my luck is terrible My prologue doesn’t really make much sense, keep in mind it’s not one of my most prioritized WIPs at the moment so that may be why it’s a bit lazy lol. If you make another submissions post on your community tab I will be sure to comment a new one or atleast an improved version of my other one.
here’s the first paragraph of my WIP :D It’s not the same as before. It truly never will be. Sunlit summer mornings, grass rubbing against our dirt stained legs as the whistling wind challenged us to a race, never would we have imagined having to race against death.-Never would we have imagined losing. Never would I have imagined laying there in that bloodstained ditch. Cold, exhausted, and ready.-Ready for them to take away the single ounce of life I hung onto.-Never would I have imagined surviving. But honestly… Although I’ve continued to survive… Have I continued to live? It’s a HF about a man making a sacrifice to protect someone from an incoming bullet during the Lebanese civil war. :)
aaaaah! everyone is so good idk if it's just me, but reading the baby versions of other people's works is so exciting. I totally missed the post but maybe next time!!
Here is what I have gotten Credits to your for the name! this is my first book btw officers fingers rubbing against the gun. It sounded like a cat screeching. Amu opened the door to her car. When Amu took a step in, she could feel sweat. It got super sweaty after 20 seconds. Amu passed out. Awaking inside a maze, with yellow walls and floors. The floors looked soggy and the walls looked like they were from a 1980’s hotel. Amu’s eyes were blurry the first minute after she woke up. Amu stood up seeing a black creture not to far away from her. The black creture teleported closer. Until Amu heard a scary noise. Amu passed out again. Waking inside the car. Everyone was worried. “Amu!!” one of the girls said, noticing she was awake.Amu moved one of her arms, it looked like she was yawning.
@@chocokiki-sai here’s the paragraph of my WIP (fr tho) It’s not the same as before. It truly never will be. Sunlit summer mornings, grass rubbing against our dirt stained legs as the whistling wind challenged us to a race, never would we have imagined having to race against death.-Never would we have imagined losing. Never would I have imagined laying there in that bloodstained ditch. Cold, exhausted, and ready.-Ready for them to take away the single ounce of life I hung onto.-Never would I have imagined surviving. But honestly… Although I’ve continued to survive… Have I continued to live?
(First couple of sentences in my volleyball novel) “A towering titanium wall rises, unbreakable and ferocious; nevertheless, even the tiniest shrimp can shatter it. The shrimp flies, shooting an orbed bullet, whistling through the air as it zooms behind me, piercing my titanium wall like a stab through the front. I collapse, helpless, falling to the floor, my titanium wall broken to pieces. In the bleachers, students and spectators watch in slight fanfare, their faces aghast. For the first time, the net and the shrimp loom above me. Their gaze and shadows engulfed my remnant strength, calling my loss. I can hear the echoes of my teammates exhorting me, my eyes blurry, my vision nauseous, my uniform sweaty, giving me a fever, my temperature 102.38 Fahrenheit. I lay on the floor, breathing heavily, trying to keep my breath balanced. I can hear the echoes of our coach’s voice. A distressed voice is what echoed to me. My teammates’ echoes sound concerned. I get up. I stand, but right as I do, my eyes go vertical and close; I stumble to the flooring, falling laterally, fainting.”
Youre so wholesome im 26 and just started writing about 6 months ago i have so much to learn. Its great to see other peoples work!! please keep doing these. Maybe do a critique version like what could be improved. 😮
This is a first draft and I am 9. Moonlight shines through the tall mushrooms making them look like a color between purple and blue. I feel the soft moss under my feet and the mushrooms covering the ground. Owls fly over the mushrooms, some landing in trees and some going beyond the forest of tall trees. I could fear the crunching of leaves as a fox walks over them. The wind blew my hair into my face, but I didn’t get it out of my face. A black figure runs through the forest of trees. The crunching of leaves told me the person was there. A tall person, with a black cloak on approaches, walking slowly. I knew what I had to do. I started running as fast as I could. Not paying attention to anything, just running, running to get back to the village where no one would believe me. The person started running behind me, so I ran faster. The person ran faster, so did I. I finally got back to the village, and that's where the person stopped. The person that chased me back here, had stopped when I got here. This wasn’t normal. I knew I had to tell someone, and the only person who would believe me was Kate, my best friend was the only one who would believe me, and that I was sure of.
This is really good for a 9 year old! I’m no expert, (I’m only 11), but in some places the sentence structure could be improved for smoother reading, and you repetitively used the same words often, like: crunching, running, etc. But either way your writing is probably more detailed then most 9 year olds.
Just a small detail but you have really used pauses in your reading to dramatise and add a sense of suspension. It's good when a writer is good at reading their pieces and others as well. And I'm going to try writing a little intro to my current novel (i am 10-13 and i love fantasy and reading Tamora Pierce) Imogen brushed her trembling fingers over Mocha's back, and the soft caramel-coloured bunny stopped pushing at her knee for attention. "I need to think. Go play with Frappe." She murmured. Mocha hopped off, apparently understanding. Another thing that she forgot about this...this curse over her. Her laptop suddenly chimed and she swiftly answered, turning down the volume and brightness as she did. "What is it, Artemis? It's two in the morning!" She hissed quietly, the dim glow still lighting up her pale face and hair. "Listen, Im. I know you want to know what's down there. I do too. But the 'terrors within' doesn't seem like something to unleash, especially when you hold the key in your own self. Magic is a dangerous thing. Every future in the stars down your overly curious path leads to too much death. How would the Aboriginal elders feel if their land was soaked in blood? How would your elders feel? This is not an answer you need, Im." Her muttered speech was not able to be processed by Imogen's tired, weary mind. She drew some power from the moon to understand. "Stop that. You need to sleep as well. Don't just rely on Celestial Magic to ignore your body's needs." "No." Imogen said. No turning back from this point... "I have to do this, Artie. I need to know every answer..." This is just a potential scene i could use in the climax of my novel, it's unedited so sorry for any odd bits-)
I’m bored so I’m just gonna tell you a sentence in the first chapter of my story. It’s not the first sentence of the whole book, and it doesn’t really have much to do with the plot because it’s just a bit of description of the setting. But I’m bored, so yeah Angie wandered alone in the park, watching the children play and the sun sink deep into the warm, flaming sky. The seamless wind whipped across the air, making her feel as though it were flying through her instead of around her. It’s just smth I wanted to put for ppl to read 🙃 so um bye
I’m writing a book called ‘Fall in Demonville’ it’s about these demons who are basically like the demons from demon slayer and they live in a town abandoned by humans that sunk underground overtime due to the constant rain making the ground soft and muddy. (Yes, I took the ‘underground city’ part as inspiration from ‘fall in London’ lol) and that’s the base, idk the plot yet🙂
I just found you and subscribed. I follow you and two other RUclips authors. Have you made a part 2? I would love to have you read some of my starting paragraphs. I was so proud of writing.
Fantastic job to everyone who submitted, you all have such elegant storys and your vocabulary is so fluid, I hope to start on a book soon but I've never wrote other than assigned projects. I probably wont release due to it being my first attempt but all of you are all supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and no matter what you are working on you are lovely. (人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+
I love writing but I get unmotivated because I can never think of a plot that gets me hooked on the story, or intrigued by the characters. if *anyone* has even the slightest plot idea, general advice or character ideas I'd appreciate it so so much! If I'm given an idea I will make sure to twist it and add things and I would never copy anything directly if you didn't want me to. thanks again!
HI! i started following you few days ago. I have watched your other videos about writing a book and the tips you gave but i need help in one thing. I myself am going to start writing a book. I have created all the characters and the storyline but i need help in world building. I know what kind of fictional world i am going to create. The video where you explained you r books character's i saw that you were also writing a world building. How do i write about the world building. I find it very hard to write it down ? It would be very helpful if you could help me with this.
Love your content. Also there were so many talented writers like WOW! The wording and hard work of all these writers in really inspiring! P.s I was thinking of ideas for my story whilst listening to this video, and even though it literally is completely different from the chapters featured in this video, I managed to imagine an entire scene. I am extremely excited to write now!
ik im kinda late but this is the good part from my first chapter Thomas gently ran his fingers along the polished wood, but when he reached the back, his fingers felt grooves, like something had been carved into the bracelet. He swiveled it around, and what he saw was not what he was expecting.. His name had been carved into the bracelet, in capital letters. Thomas blinked and squinted his golden-yellow eyes, just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. “It must be a different Thomas,” he thought. “There’s no way this could be mine. But I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me trying it on..” A mischievous grin grew across Thomas’ face as he slowly slipped the bracelet on his wrist. The zircon glowed a warm brown, and Thomas ran two gentle fingers in the middle of the gem. Then the world began to spin. Brown and green and blue swirled around Thomas and he swore he started to float. He could feel his senses heighten-he began to hear every little movement that blanketed the forest, from a mouse skittering along the floor to leaves gently brushing against each other. He felt himself changing with every second. Thomas’ eyes closed and his breath hitched as the cacophony of sounds overwhelmed his head. It all felt like too much.. And then his feet hit the grass. “Thomas? Thomas!” “Oh. Oh no.”
This is a story I call Dead awaken this is my first chapter hope you guys like it Chapter 1 welcome to Stone City My name is Anna Wood I was born on April 15, 2006, and I am a half witch half-human and I am also a witch hunter and I don’t miss me and my friend Emily I’m getting ready to ahead of myself let’s start From the beginning about 16 years I was born and it wasn’t a normal birth because for some reason I was a very special child some time went to my grandparents they used to tell me we were born in a great lineage of Half which’s but these were not normal which’s so back when I was born there was a very tragic accident and my parents died in the process because they were trying to get me to a safe place and when they tried to help they died to a witch and I know what you guys are thinking they died to a witch how ever I will explain that you see when they try to get me to save a which she put a tracker on me to follow us in the cabin and burned my parents at the stake Nothing is known about my parents are just the people who are burned at the stake
lemme know if you want a part two?! - i kinda wanna read some more...hehe
I can’t believe I missed this! Please do a part 2!! If I submit soon would there still be a chance for me getting in the part 2?
I’m would love having a part 2 to accommodate the first one. As fun as it was to hear you read other peoples paragraph stories, I am really curious to when you get to read my paragraph!
I’d love a part 2!!
Pleasee do part 2 ❤️
yes part 2!!
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, This channel is so underrated!
Yes!
@@cheylovesgod I still have no idea what underrated means lol
AGREED
@@ieatsanddunderrated means like
She’s not popular but she needs to be technically if that makes sense…
I’m just rewatching her vids that I missed
Agreeddd
That was literally so interesting, everyone had such good stories! Thanks for the feedback on mine as well and I’d definitely watch a part two. Maybe you could do a video about balancing time spent on hobbies and schoolwork?
ooo!! omg I LOVE that idea!! tysm for your beautiful support! love uuu queen of chickens xx
Madi writes WW2 fiction, this was by far my favorite one. I could tell just by reading they had a southern accent. And was back in the early 1900s. And the fact that she is only 11 years old makes it that much more impressive. I hope that she turns it into a full novel for many to read. I normally don't read anything about war, but I was taken back back by the dialogue between the mother and daughter. I hope to see the book in the future.
Thanks for reading❤️! V is a bodyguard in this scene so when she talk about her charge its the person who hired her to protect him! 😊
ohh! of course! im so sorrry - haha I’m a bit dumb sometimes. your writing was so good, keep going love xx
woooaaaa the 11 yr old 😮 girl whoever you are just keep on writing 😭👏💛
I loved this video! Would totally watch a part 2! Also, here is another slightly longer paragraph and although it's not my second paragraph, it answers a few of the questions you asked about my submission!
“Queen Rora of Kamorite!” The crowd cheered, rising to their feet as they clapped. I stood awkwardly, uncertain of what to do. I sent a tiny wave to my little sister, who’s blue eyes mirrored mine. I was suddenly rushed off the platform with a gentle hand on my back, ushering me to move.
Wow thats good!
The first one was so good! I really loved the descriptions and the writing style in general 💗
Wow, thank you so much for the feedback! And don’t worry about Jared, he’s very much alive lol! Everyone else’s stories are really interesting as well :D
Edit: also, thank you for being a place for writers to feel safe sharing their WIPs and getting feedback!
hehe im glad he is alive. i have no idea where my brain went hahah. im so blessed to have you here, thank you so much for your support. im so glad xx
Funny thing I clicked on this comment at the same time your story went on the video !!
btw i'm not sure if i ever told you, but i love your vibe so much
i seriously almost cried reading this!! ahhhh!! your comment seriously has made my day, and ahh, what the hec your so so sweeet!!!! thank you so much for everything, your the reason i like to make videos like this. the reason i stay up late editing until i get everything right and perfect for you guys. i just wish I could hug you!!!! thank you so much, just THANK UUU!!❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’d love a part two!! 😊 Here’s mine, I already put in on the community tab but if this is more convenient 🙂 here’s the opening of the massive rewrite/edit of my fantasy novel:
The edge of the paper crumpled under Karina’s fingertips. She loosened her grip, then smoothed out the crinkles in the invitation. It wouldn’t be long. She wouldn’t have to stay there long. Right?
omg i couldn’t help but already read it - this is AMAZING! ill be sure to read it again so others can see too!! tysm!! xx
@ananeu thank you so much!!! 😊
I love how hyped you get for the stories! I never see that in writing critiques, and I think it's extremely important as you can make or break someone's spirit. I subscribed for that alone!
i am so grateful to you, i wrote 2 books and then got super overwhelemd cause i was using only 1 tool, wattpad. it was NOT great but now i've gotten back into writting using docs and campfire, still need to learn lattics but im looking forward to writting this book ive been thinking of writting for over 2 years now
I loved seeing you react to other writer's stories! The critique and compliments were just stellar ✨
I might consider submitting my own story
plzzz do! id love to read it!! ❤️
i want a part two! this was a very good video!
This was really cool to see how different everyone's work is :)
Thank you for the feedback, totally agree with comments, the story does continue a little more about the fathers death as its a memorial service. But agree it's quite early to just hit a reader like that.
Also thank you for saying you like my name, I may reconsider using my real name (kirie-lea) as my pen name rather than an alias
4:00 I disagree, it’s not shocking, and it is relevant immediately - his death is why she has more duties now. I think it all reads very nicely: we read about father’s death - it’s ordinary and relatable, then we read about “increasing duties” and worry if girl is cinderella-style abused or something, and then-bam!-she is a princess; it’s cool twist and explains what kind of duties she might have. It’s original introduction of common concept and character is immediately understandable and relatable.
This was so interesting seeing everyone’s first chapters!
I did comment a random piece of my book there but I might have been too late but I would really appreciate if you could read it! But it’s ok!
I would loveee a part 2!
Love uuu❤️❤️❤️
id love tooo!! make sure you have it submitted!! ❤️glad you enjoyed bestie xx
@@ananeu yup I submitted it 2 or 3 days ago!
Love uuu❤️❤️❤️
I wish you made a part two but here's mine lol😂
When the automatic doors open, a cold gust of air blows through them and leaves me with a freezing chill. I tightly clench the white bags in my hands before turning in the direction of my car and walking down the poorly lit street. This city is always crowded in the daytime. However, at night there's almost no sign of life besides the drunks at the local alcohol store and the cars driving down the streets to god knows where.
I let a deep breath of smoke-filled air into my lungs as I made my way to the parking lot where my car was being held hostage; just as I was close to it I heard the loud sound of crashing. I flinched at the obnoxiously loud sound, almost dropping the two bags in my hands; as my fingers tensed up the rest of my body followed. There was so much darkness tonight that I could barely see 5 feet ahead of me. After enough looking, I finally realized that the sound had come from one of the dark alleyways right in front of me.
The street was already terribly lit so the alleys looked so dark that if you went through one you would probably never find your way out again. It was probably just a raccoon.
Ok let’s just shout out the authors of these stories because they were all so amazing 👏
Ana your channel is growing so much!! I’m so happy for you! Congrats!
period!! i am so happy too! thank you so much xx
OH MY GOSH I SAW MYSELF AT THE LAST SCREEN 😭😭
I definitely need a part2 because I was really hoping to be included lmao my luck is terrible
My prologue doesn’t really make much sense, keep in mind it’s not one of my most prioritized
WIPs at the moment so that may be why it’s a bit lazy lol. If you make another submissions post
on your community tab I will be sure to comment a new one or atleast an improved version of my other one.
awww ill be sure to read it!!
@@ananeu thank you
This was so fun! I stan you supporting your fans bestie!! Your amazing! Can't wait for part 2 !
awww tyyy bestieee xx
here’s the first paragraph of my WIP :D
It’s not the same as before. It truly never will be. Sunlit summer mornings, grass rubbing against our dirt stained legs as the whistling wind challenged us to a race, never would we have imagined having to race against death.-Never would we have imagined losing. Never would I have imagined laying there in that bloodstained ditch. Cold, exhausted, and ready.-Ready for them to take away the single ounce of life I hung onto.-Never would I have imagined surviving. But honestly… Although I’ve continued to survive… Have I continued to live?
It’s a HF about a man making a sacrifice to protect someone from an incoming bullet during the Lebanese civil war. :)
Definitely do a part 2!
Also your writing vlog videos are enjoyable so I’d love to see more of those 😊
aaaaah! everyone is so good idk if it's just me, but reading the baby versions of other people's works is so exciting. I totally missed the post but maybe next time!!
omg thank you so so so much! and yes, it is charles sending the letter but cassandra's mother won't let her read it. thank you again!!
This channel is so underrated omg!! You are such a (relatable) inspiration to me as a writer. I use your vids to help me write my own book シ
Here is what I have gotten
Credits to your for the name!
this is my first book btw
officers fingers rubbing against the gun. It sounded like a cat screeching. Amu opened the door to her car. When Amu took a step in, she could feel sweat. It got super sweaty after 20 seconds. Amu passed out. Awaking inside a maze, with yellow walls and floors. The floors looked soggy and the walls looked like they were from a 1980’s hotel. Amu’s eyes were blurry
the first minute after she woke up. Amu stood up seeing a black creture not to far away from her. The black creture teleported closer. Until Amu heard a scary noise. Amu passed out again. Waking inside the car. Everyone was worried. “Amu!!” one of the girls said, noticing she was awake.Amu moved one of her arms, it looked like she was yawning.
omg pleeease do this again i love seeing others writing styles!
Please do a part 2, I want to learn from you if I make mistakes since I’m still a beginner! I write to relieve stress since high school is no joke! ❤
"Shrek and Peppa have been enemies since they were little"
That's the first line of my wip.
Woah… that’s so… deep
Oh my god that is so inspirational 🤯
@@chocokiki-sai here’s the paragraph of my WIP (fr tho)
It’s not the same as before. It truly never will be. Sunlit summer mornings, grass rubbing against our dirt stained legs as the whistling wind challenged us to a race, never would we have imagined having to race against death.-Never would we have imagined losing. Never would I have imagined laying there in that bloodstained ditch. Cold, exhausted, and ready.-Ready for them to take away the single ounce of life I hung onto.-Never would I have imagined surviving. But honestly… Although I’ve continued to survive… Have I continued to live?
Can you please do a part two of this? I’m here TOO late and I would love to see more of this type of videos
It would be so fun if you did this again! I hadn’t discovered your channel yet in April but I would love to share some of my first paragraphs!!
(First couple of sentences in my volleyball novel)
“A towering titanium wall rises, unbreakable and ferocious; nevertheless, even the tiniest shrimp can shatter it. The shrimp flies, shooting an orbed bullet, whistling through the air as it zooms behind me, piercing my titanium wall like a stab through the front. I collapse, helpless, falling to the floor, my titanium wall broken to pieces. In the bleachers, students and spectators watch in slight fanfare, their faces aghast. For the first time, the net and the shrimp loom above me. Their gaze and shadows engulfed my remnant strength, calling my loss. I can hear the echoes of my teammates exhorting me, my eyes blurry, my vision nauseous, my uniform sweaty, giving me a fever, my temperature 102.38 Fahrenheit. I lay on the floor, breathing heavily, trying to keep my breath balanced. I can hear the echoes of our coach’s voice. A distressed voice is what echoed to me. My teammates’ echoes sound concerned. I get up. I stand, but right as I do, my eyes go vertical and close; I stumble to the flooring, falling laterally, fainting.”
PLEASE MAKE A PART 2😝😝
Youre so wholesome im 26 and just started writing about 6 months ago i have so much to learn. Its great to see other peoples work!! please keep doing these. Maybe do a critique version like what could be improved. 😮
I’m in the exact same place and I don’t know where to start, it’s so overwhelming 🥺
hi ana! when will you do another book reading for subscribers?
This is a first draft and I am 9.
Moonlight shines through the tall mushrooms making them look like a color between purple and blue. I feel the soft moss under my feet and the mushrooms covering the ground. Owls fly over the mushrooms, some landing in trees and some going beyond the forest of tall trees. I could fear the crunching of leaves as a fox walks over them. The wind blew my hair into my face, but I didn’t get it out of my face.
A black figure runs through the forest of trees. The crunching of leaves told me the person was there. A tall person, with a black cloak on approaches, walking slowly. I knew what I had to do.
I started running as fast as I could. Not paying attention to anything, just running, running to get back to the village where no one would believe me.
The person started running behind me, so I ran faster. The person ran faster, so did I. I finally got back to the village, and that's where the person stopped. The person that chased me back here, had stopped when I got here.
This wasn’t normal. I knew I had to tell someone, and the only person who would believe me was Kate, my best friend was the only one who would believe me, and that I was sure of.
cool :)
This is really good for a 9 year old! I’m no expert, (I’m only 11), but in some places the sentence structure could be improved for smoother reading, and you repetitively used the same words often, like: crunching, running, etc. But either way your writing is probably more detailed then most 9 year olds.
Just a small detail but you have really used pauses in your reading to dramatise and add a sense of suspension. It's good when a writer is good at reading their pieces and others as well.
And I'm going to try writing a little intro to my current novel (i am 10-13 and i love fantasy and reading Tamora Pierce)
Imogen brushed her trembling fingers over Mocha's back, and the soft caramel-coloured bunny stopped pushing at her knee for attention. "I need to think. Go play with Frappe." She murmured. Mocha hopped off, apparently understanding. Another thing that she forgot about this...this curse over her. Her laptop suddenly chimed and she swiftly answered, turning down the volume and brightness as she did. "What is it, Artemis? It's two in the morning!" She hissed quietly, the dim glow still lighting up her pale face and hair. "Listen, Im. I know you want to know what's down there. I do too. But the 'terrors within' doesn't seem like something to unleash, especially when you hold the key in your own self. Magic is a dangerous thing. Every future in the stars down your overly curious path leads to too much death. How would the Aboriginal elders feel if their land was soaked in blood? How would your elders feel? This is not an answer you need, Im." Her muttered speech was not able to be processed by Imogen's tired, weary mind. She drew some power from the moon to understand. "Stop that. You need to sleep as well. Don't just rely on Celestial Magic to ignore your body's needs." "No." Imogen said. No turning back from this point... "I have to do this, Artie. I need to know every answer..."
This is just a potential scene i could use in the climax of my novel, it's unedited so sorry for any odd bits-)
These are all so great!!!
Could you a part 3 it was so fun! I wish i could show mine but it is terrible :-(
9:31 “her charge” means some one she’s looking after
I’m bored so I’m just gonna tell you a sentence in the first chapter of my story. It’s not the first sentence of the whole book, and it doesn’t really have much to do with the plot because it’s just a bit of description of the setting. But I’m bored, so yeah
Angie wandered alone in the park, watching the children play and the sun sink deep into the warm, flaming sky. The seamless wind whipped across the air, making her feel as though it were flying through her instead of around her.
It’s just smth I wanted to put for ppl to read 🙃 so um bye
Whoever wrote the first one, you should make the child a chosen one lol RAND AL THoooor!
yesss do it!!
I love your writing videos. They help a lot especially because I am 9. I want to follow my dreams and become a author.
that’s amazing!! I hope we can both help eachother!!❤️keep going bestie!!
I’m writing a book called ‘Fall in Demonville’ it’s about these demons who are basically like the demons from demon slayer and they live in a town abandoned by humans that sunk underground overtime due to the constant rain making the ground soft and muddy. (Yes, I took the ‘underground city’ part as inspiration from ‘fall in London’ lol) and that’s the base, idk the plot yet🙂
I just found you and subscribed. I follow you and two other RUclips authors.
Have you made a part 2?
I would love to have you read some of my starting paragraphs. I was so proud of writing.
hehe aww! mm I did do a part two! but I might be doing a part three soon!!❤️
Mayby ill be in the next one (If I get more finished) 🤔🤔
I think it's "charge-walk" like charging and walking at the same time
Hey just asking have you read the alchemist yet? It’s SOOOOO good!
yes! i read it this year! its one of my favs now ;)
id loveeee to see another one of these! ive started writing a book recently and would love some feedback from another writer :)
Fantastic job to everyone who submitted, you all have such elegant storys and your vocabulary is so fluid, I hope to start on a book soon but I've never wrote other than assigned projects. I probably wont release due to it being my first attempt but all of you are all supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and no matter what you are working on you are lovely. (人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+
You low-key sound like young Hermione Granger while ur reading. aaaaaa
Hope I can comment my latest WIP and hopefully you can read itttttt.
haha aww!! loki sometimes i swear i can’t read ahaha
Please please please do a part 2
If you do another part could you let me know cause I kinda want to have some fresh eyes and ears on what I have to offer even if it's not much
2 years late but i love the genshin poster in the video🩷
Will you put up another community tab when you do pt. 2??
I love writing but I get unmotivated because I can never think of a plot that gets me hooked on the story, or intrigued by the characters. if *anyone* has even the slightest plot idea, general advice or character ideas I'd appreciate it so so much! If I'm given an idea I will make sure to twist it and add things and I would never copy anything directly if you didn't want me to. thanks again!
You can find lots of writing prompts online! Pinterest has fun ones
HI! i started following you few days ago. I have watched your other videos about writing a book and the tips you gave but i need help in one thing. I myself am going to start writing a book. I have created all the characters and the storyline but i need help in world building. I know what kind of fictional world i am going to create. The video where you explained you r books character's i saw that you were also writing a world building. How do i write about the world building. I find it very hard to write it down ? It would be very helpful if you could help me with this.
i'll be uploading a video soon about world building soon! but for now: just try get some inspiration from books, movies and songs that you like
Can you please do this again. Would you be willing to read some of my book that I am working on publishing.
Pls do a part two I have something I want to share :)
Love your content. Also there were so many talented writers like WOW! The wording and hard work of all these writers in really inspiring!
P.s I was thinking of ideas for my story whilst listening to this video, and even though it literally is completely different from the chapters featured in this video, I managed to imagine an entire scene. I am extremely excited to write now!
Would you do a part two ?
Part 2222 u never got to mine
i would love to be in the next vid
and i would love for you to say my paragraph
Dang sorry I missed this...
Aaaah thank you for reading mine! I’m super glad you liked it and the feedback is very helpful! ✨✨
I ADORED IT. keep writing beautifullyyyy bestie xx
@@ananeu AW thank you!! I will 😭✨
Sorry but I posted mine late sadly it didn’t make it :(
Hey! Is it too late for me to send you my first chapter??
ik im kinda late but this is the good part from my first chapter
Thomas gently ran his fingers along the polished wood, but when he reached the back, his fingers felt grooves, like something had been carved into the bracelet. He swiveled it around, and what he saw was not what he was expecting..
His name had been carved into the bracelet, in capital letters.
Thomas blinked and squinted his golden-yellow eyes, just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.
“It must be a different Thomas,” he thought. “There’s no way this could be mine. But I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me trying it on..”
A mischievous grin grew across Thomas’ face as he slowly slipped the bracelet on his wrist. The zircon glowed a warm brown, and Thomas ran two gentle fingers in the middle of the gem.
Then the world began to spin.
Brown and green and blue swirled around Thomas and he swore he started to float. He could feel his senses heighten-he began to hear every little movement that blanketed the forest, from a mouse skittering along the floor to leaves gently brushing against each other. He felt himself changing with every second.
Thomas’ eyes closed and his breath hitched as the cacophony of sounds overwhelmed his head. It all felt like too much..
And then his feet hit the grass.
“Thomas? Thomas!”
“Oh. Oh no.”
Sorry you didn't get the shoes part! Charlotte was indeed changing shoes
hahah thought soo! im sorry - ima little bit dumb sometimes ahh
This is a story I call Dead awaken this is my first chapter hope you guys like it
Chapter 1 welcome to Stone
City
My name is Anna Wood I was born on April 15, 2006, and I am a half witch half-human and I am also a witch hunter and I don’t miss me and my friend Emily I’m getting ready to ahead of myself let’s start From the beginning about 16 years I was born and it wasn’t a normal birth because for some reason I was a very special child some time went to my grandparents they used to tell me we were born in a great lineage of Half which’s but these were not normal which’s so back when I was born there was a very tragic accident and my parents died in the process because they were trying to get me to a safe place and when they tried to help they died to a witch and I know what you guys are thinking they died to a witch how ever I will explain that you see when they try to get me to save a which she put a tracker on me to follow us in the cabin and burned my parents at the stake Nothing is known about my parents are just the people who are burned at the stake
Dang it so sad I joined this community late 😭