I wish I would have seen this video before......i almost sabotaged my relationship because I became demanding. I actually broke up with him because he wasn't giving me enough attention. Well, after three wks, he took me back. I knew I was wrong in the way I handled the situation & apologized to him. I'm glad that I am watching your videos and learning to stay in my feminine energy. I'm happy to say that he is stepping up to my needs & wants💕.....Thank you, Mat!
Thank you for your share Marilyn! Now that you have this mutual understanding with him it will help you create such a deeper dynamic in your relationship 🤗🤗❤️
You are a wonderful light in this world Matt. I have been participating in transformational work since my early 20's. I thoroughly enjoy all of your videos and love how you ease in transformation with gentleness, and ease and with so much passion and creativity!!
Diane Guevara 😭😭 your feedback just touched my heart so deeply, I’m literally on the verge of tears. Thank you so much my dear, it’s my honor and purpose to bring these principles into the world and hearing responses like this validates the choice I made to dedicate my life to this work 🤗🙏✨
OMG the Holy Spirit is really looking after me! I was praying for insight into why my amazing night went so wrong at the end ...This came up in my feed and it’s EXACTLY what I needed to hear THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH MAT!! I can’t believe that I have clarity and revelation and can now understand what happened and why my nan reacted the way he did. AMAZING when I can really grasp this I know it’s going to cause a major shift for the better!
Yes, this works, thanks Mat, and it's not easy to explain in words. I was a bit confused tho because some coaches say safety is not a mans love need, that men need a challenge to rise to and some uncertainty about whether or not they've got you. The kind of safety you're saying here is a man feels safe to take action if he knows what it is that would make you happy. The activation is about describing what is desired and then leaning back and creating a space for the man to take the action. Already feeling your own abundance, so its not really asking, more like describing how lovely it would feel so then its like if he gives then its a bonus. You did a vid on how we don't owe a guy anything, and it's important to remember a guy doesn't owe us anything either.
I’ve always wondered how some women inspire men to do for them while I couldn’t get my needs met steven the most minimal level. Thank you, very helpful:)
Great info Mat ..... Stayed at my guys house other weekend. As I was leaving he just said - Good to see you again??? Thought that not great..... really as a couple but maybe I didn't make him feel safe?? Been dating/couple for 10months ....His previous marriage he was mentally hurt so think I got a lot to work with. Sometimes he seems distant.
your biggest job is to stay open, allow him to feel safe to open up and be vulnerable with you, and invite him to do so :) Most men are carrying trauma with them and one of the most powerful ways to heal it is through the love and support of a caring partner!
WOW..JUST WOW!! I definitely just left a big thumbs up on this! I would love to hear more on how a woman can or should "lead the way" communicatively in a relationship? So many relationship coaches, now a days, would have us think it's leaning forward. But I agree, sometimes I get better results when I bring up important issues or things to talk about. :)
YES I couldnt agree with you more and I'm most definitely gonna unpack communicative leadership with men in future videos and courses I will be posting! It's so relevant
Definitely an eye-opener. Big time, at that. I love your content. These days, I've been finding myself very much willing to look past my own needs/wants more than ever simply because I really am looking forward to finally have a deeper level of relationship with him. To be able to honestly tell myself that if ever things don't work out in the end, that I've done everything on my end. No regrets and no reservations whatsoever. The topics you tackle are helping me in ways you can't imagine. So thank you. God bless you and yours.
😭😭 one of the most touching comments I’ve ever received!! Thank you so so much for your kind words, truly moved. Y them... it’s my honor and purpose to support you and I’m beyond grateful that I’ve inspired you to connect to your heart in a deeper way🙏🙏🙏❤✨ let me know what more you would like me to speak Into
Thanks Coach Mat for all these Reality Clarity Honesty Advices for Us Ladies Out there. Especially The ones What Women's want from A Man From Our Men's Our Companions Our Partner's Our Fiance's Our Husbands is A Huge Difference of How We Ladies Approach And Say Things to Our Love one's. Not Demanding Not Talking Down to Noone...Simply Listening and Taking with Vulnabilith Humbleness manner in A Mens Language...I see that Alot of Mens comes with Insecurities Inmature No Commonsense so W that being said we ladies show them the way to Step up Their Masculine Manly Hood so they can Feel Stay Be Safe in their own skin and produce like a Man would do for their womens.
Thank for sharing I listened to everything you said and I would love to have some one on one time to help me fix what I made wrong with Eric who pulled away,I know where I went wrong with and I hope it is fixable
I simply send him a little sad emoji. Immediately after he responds with Baby what’s wrong? How can I help? We are 2,000 miles apart. It’s challenging Matt. Thanks for your help!
Hey this may sound silly but I noticed something, you as well my myself have two different ears. Its super adorable. 😍 thank you for the videos. I'm single and just learning what I can before jumping out there and starting again .
Can you give some practical examples about how to do this? I’m dating someone right now. It’s the early stages and I wish he would communicate more with me by text during the week. How can I inspire him to do this without comings across as demanding?
Invite him in a warm loving way to engage more in that manner! :) I.e. - "Getting texts from you really brightens up my day... especially when I'm working! Does that sound like fun to you?" or something along those lines - combine a feeling statement with a friendly invitation to engage
telling a man that "i love if he does this more, and love to have his company more often, or love that he does something for me(specific), isn't it sounding needy by a woman..like making a man feel he doesn't fulfil her already..thoughts on this Matt?
nope those feelings statements and suggestions, if done with strong grounded energy, are powerful and not needy at all! Inviting a man to give you what you want and what makes you happy is actually tremendously empowering... you just wanna make sure that the request is coming from the right place when you make it. If your anxious or fearful when you make the statement it will land funny with him and not get you the result you want!
Hi mat , just getting a little rusty any help greatfully received ! Yes we have hit an issue my man is very loving but I need to reignite the flame ! But he’s having a health issue but I know it’s got to be gentle ! It’s if he wants a snuggle I am too tired ,but it’s the reverse when I desire a snuggle ! I am shattered ! But we need a tad of help ! We are talking being married for over 40 yrs but we are still committed but maybe he’s bored with me I really don’t know I have asked him but he says he really loves me and no one else even enters his mind ! I know old age ! Yes but desire is there the body is weak ! I know sad ! Just teasing ! Love to all liz x
@@Mat_Shaffer Hey.. I love content on inspiring a man and properly communicating with a man. Many female are ignorant as to how to effectively communicate with a man and both parties end up frustrated. I love stuff on that because we need to be taught how to do this in a HEALTHY and effectively way. Guys don't want to be demanded and neither do we so we both need to learn to communicate in the RIGHT way to each other. Thanks for what you do😊👍
This is magic 🤩 I do it automatically now and I receive more and more. I suggest, he executes, I praise him for my idea 😂 And I praise him for every little nugget he gives (that was a though one for me) I say: ow hun my back feels so sour, would feel good if you could rub my back with that soft lotion. While he rubs my back I wiggle and moan and tell him how great he is at it and I also tell him... wow hun, I feel so cherished by your soft hands. Guess what? I get a massage every single time we meet 🥰 The secret, I think, men feel good when they make their woman feel good. It inspires him to do more... I have a very sweet ‘puppy’ now 🥰 This works 1000 times better than demanding or nagging. And to be honest: this feels so much better to me too, I glow and smile all the time. Cause feeling unsatisfied and needing to demand doesn’t feel good to us either and it’s not attractive. So ladies, tell him how amazing he is and how he makes you feel loved, cherished and valued... you’ll have the man of your dreams. And if puppy is not reacting to positive reinforcement... he’s not your guy 🤷🏼♀️
If only there were more actual men in the world this would be much more sense. In my experience, waiting for a man to step up is just sitting and waiting for death...except death does eventually arrive.
Hi handsome you are really awesome I want you to talk if you can how about the to express jealousy in my men when I feel like is something exaggerated what he do
@@jenteschoof hmm very interesting! what is it about the sex that makes you want it less often? Most women in relationship have the opposite issue, they are concerned that they want sex MORE than their male partners!
@@Mat_Shaffer I think it has something to do with my past relationship, I have had sex without wanting too, so it feels really important to me that I can learn to reject it when I don't want too, if that makes sense. But I don't know how to bring this respectfully. I guess I have a lot of healing work to do as well around this matter
@@jenteschoof if there is ever a time you don't want to, then say that and stand firm with your decision. It's really okay not to. You can even explain why to him, and I'd add in that you do enjoy it with him and how it makes you feel closer to him, but that if he can understand and respect that, not take it personal, it would make you feel so much more supported and closer to him and trust him more, and maybe even make you want to have it more.
Thank you for your insight.
Masculine=assertion.
Feminine=activation.
Makes perfect sense now.
YES you GOT it!!! :)
I wish I would have seen this video before......i almost sabotaged my relationship because I became demanding. I actually broke up with him because he wasn't giving me enough attention. Well, after three wks, he took me back. I knew I was wrong in the way I handled the situation & apologized to him. I'm glad that I am watching your videos and learning to stay in my feminine energy. I'm happy to say that he is stepping up to my needs & wants💕.....Thank you, Mat!
Thank you for your share Marilyn! Now that you have this mutual understanding with him it will help you create such a deeper dynamic in your relationship 🤗🤗❤️
That makes me cry. Keep giving women lessons like this please. Just wow 😲
aww thanks my dear
You are a wonderful light in this world Matt. I have been participating in transformational work since my early 20's. I thoroughly enjoy all of your videos and love how you ease in transformation with gentleness, and ease and with so much passion and creativity!!
Diane Guevara 😭😭 your feedback just touched my heart so deeply, I’m literally on the verge of tears. Thank you so much my dear, it’s my honor and purpose to bring these principles into the world and hearing responses like this validates the choice I made to dedicate my life to this work 🤗🙏✨
OMG the Holy Spirit is really looking after me! I was praying for insight into why my amazing night went so wrong at the end ...This came up in my feed and it’s EXACTLY what I needed to hear THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH MAT!! I can’t believe that I have clarity and revelation and can now understand what happened and why my nan reacted the way he did. AMAZING when I can really grasp this I know it’s going to cause a major shift for the better!
WOW love this!! so beautiful!!! your words touch my heart
so glad i found your channel! 🤗❤️ can't wait to see you have 1mil subscribers!! 🤩💯
Karla Marie www thank you my dear!! This is one of my favorite comments EVER...I’m right there with you, can’t wait to see that either 🙌🙌🔥😍❤️❤️
Yes, this works, thanks Mat, and it's not easy to explain in words. I was a bit confused tho because some coaches say safety is not a mans love need, that men need a challenge to rise to and some uncertainty about whether or not they've got you. The kind of safety you're saying here is a man feels safe to take action if he knows what it is that would make you happy. The activation is about describing what is desired and then leaning back and creating a space for the man to take the action. Already feeling your own abundance, so its not really asking, more like describing how lovely it would feel so then its like if he gives then its a bonus. You did a vid on how we don't owe a guy anything, and it's important to remember a guy doesn't owe us anything either.
YES no one owes anyone anything, we are all in relationship to contribute willingly and voluntarily to each others' lives within obligation
I’ve always wondered how some women inspire men to do for them while I couldn’t get my needs met steven the most minimal level. Thank you, very helpful:)
WONDERFUL so so glad you liked it!!
Great info Mat ..... Stayed at my guys house other weekend. As I was leaving he just said - Good to see you again??? Thought that not great..... really as a couple but maybe I didn't make him feel safe??
Been dating/couple for 10months ....His previous marriage he was mentally hurt so think I got a lot to work with. Sometimes he seems distant.
your biggest job is to stay open, allow him to feel safe to open up and be vulnerable with you, and invite him to do so :) Most men are carrying trauma with them and one of the most powerful ways to heal it is through the love and support of a caring partner!
CLICK HERE TO JOIN MAT'S FREE LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP COURSE STARTING NOV 18th! masteryofconnection.com
its a great time!
Beautifully put Mat! Our men are so powerful. We need to raise them up. ✨♥️ Thank you for your share
Thanks so much Marie!! amen sister!
WOW..JUST WOW!! I definitely just left a big thumbs up on this! I would love to hear more on how a woman can or should "lead the way" communicatively in a relationship? So many relationship coaches, now a days, would have us think it's leaning forward. But I agree, sometimes I get better results when I bring up important issues or things to talk about. :)
YES I couldnt agree with you more and I'm most definitely gonna unpack communicative leadership with men in future videos and courses I will be posting! It's so relevant
stop pushing! ❤ I needed this. thank you!
YAY so glad!!
yes sir! understood! great video!! ♥️
Thanks so much Bre Bre! 🙏❤️
Definitely an eye-opener. Big time, at that. I love your content. These days, I've been finding myself very much willing to look past my own needs/wants more than ever simply because I really am looking forward to finally have a deeper level of relationship with him. To be able to honestly tell myself that if ever things don't work out in the end, that I've done everything on my end. No regrets and no reservations whatsoever. The topics you tackle are helping me in ways you can't imagine. So thank you. God bless you and yours.
😭😭 one of the most touching comments I’ve ever received!! Thank you so so much for your kind words, truly moved. Y them... it’s my honor and purpose to support you and I’m beyond grateful that I’ve inspired you to connect to your heart in a deeper way🙏🙏🙏❤✨ let me know what more you would like me to speak Into
Hello Mat. Great stuff as always. Can u make a video on how women can show respect to men or rather how do we disrespect them unconsciously
YEP love it, it's going on teh list!
Just find your insights very clever and assertives!Thanks a lot,is great get this tips from a handsome and nice man like you👏👏👏👌👍🖒
thanks so much my dear deeply appreciate the feedback
Thanks Coach Mat
for all these Reality Clarity Honesty Advices for Us Ladies Out there. Especially The ones What Women's want from A Man From Our Men's Our Companions Our Partner's Our Fiance's Our Husbands is A Huge Difference of How We Ladies Approach And Say Things to Our Love one's.
Not Demanding Not Talking Down to Noone...Simply Listening and Taking with Vulnabilith Humbleness manner in A Mens Language...I see that Alot of Mens comes with Insecurities Inmature No Commonsense so W that being said we ladies show them the way to Step up Their Masculine Manly Hood so they can Feel Stay Be Safe in their own skin and produce like a Man would do for their womens.
Thanks so much for your feedback!
Wow, love this. Makes it so clear!! I know now why nothing I have ever tried has not worked.
wonderful so glad you enjoyed it :)
What a paradigm shift. I'm going to need to role play this!
yess its a powerful skill!!
Thanks, I’m on the right path, you said it clearly and understood, i love the way you talked to your viewers, eye to eye contact, i love your eyes😊😍
Aw thanks you’re making me blush;)
Thank for sharing I listened to everything you said and I would love to have some one on one time to help me fix what I made wrong with Eric who pulled away,I know where I went wrong with and I hope it is fixable
Pauline Mcinuff i hope you joined our online course Mastery of Connection! I am live in there a lot :)
I simply send him a little sad emoji. Immediately after he responds with Baby what’s wrong? How can I help? We are 2,000 miles apart. It’s challenging Matt. Thanks for your help!
Thanks!
I loved this video’s title !
thanks so much!! :)
Hey this may sound silly but I noticed something, you as well my myself have two different ears. Its super adorable. 😍 thank you for the videos. I'm single and just learning what I can before jumping out there and starting again .
HA busted! Yes totally true :) You're so welcome my dear
This video made a difference for me and I get it now. Thank you so much for your guidance. 💕
Glad it was helpful!
Can you give some practical examples about how to do this? I’m dating someone right now. It’s the early stages and I wish he would communicate more with me by text during the week. How can I inspire him to do this without comings across as demanding?
Invite him in a warm loving way to engage more in that manner! :) I.e. - "Getting texts from you really brightens up my day... especially when I'm working! Does that sound like fun to you?" or something along those lines - combine a feeling statement with a friendly invitation to engage
How can I work with you as a coach? I could use a relationship coach right now. My track record is awful!
This is great advice, if used with the right man. If not it won't matter how much of this you do.
telling a man that "i love if he does this more, and love to have his company more often, or love that he does something for me(specific), isn't it sounding needy by a woman..like making a man feel he doesn't fulfil her already..thoughts on this Matt?
nope those feelings statements and suggestions, if done with strong grounded energy, are powerful and not needy at all! Inviting a man to give you what you want and what makes you happy is actually tremendously empowering... you just wanna make sure that the request is coming from the right place when you make it. If your anxious or fearful when you make the statement it will land funny with him and not get you the result you want!
i see..im realising imp.of male coaches over female ones nw :)
Hi mat , just getting a little rusty any help greatfully received ! Yes we have hit an issue my man is very loving but I need to reignite the flame ! But he’s having a health issue but I know it’s got to be gentle ! It’s if he wants a snuggle I am too tired ,but it’s the reverse when I desire a snuggle ! I am shattered ! But we need a tad of help ! We are talking being married for over 40 yrs but we are still committed but maybe he’s bored with me I really don’t know I have asked him but he says he really loves me and no one else even enters his mind ! I know old age ! Yes but desire is there the body is weak ! I know sad ! Just teasing ! Love to all liz x
gentleness is so important especially when you are "getting back into" things :) just take baby steps and see where they go
So true, being assertive is like. Mom saying clean your room, do your homework. No one wants to go to bed with their mother
I appreciate your opinion on this!
Really awesome content!! 👏👏
Thanks Andrea! What else would you like me to speak into? I would love to know what you're curious about when it comes to men and relationship :)
@@Mat_Shaffer Hey.. I love content on inspiring a man and properly communicating with a man. Many female are ignorant as to how to effectively communicate with a man and both parties end up frustrated. I love stuff on that because we need to be taught how to do this in a HEALTHY and effectively way. Guys don't want to be demanded and neither do we so we both need to learn to communicate in the RIGHT way to each other. Thanks for what you do😊👍
This is magic 🤩
I do it automatically now and I receive more and more.
I suggest, he executes, I praise him for my idea 😂
And I praise him for every little nugget he gives (that was a though one for me)
I say: ow hun my back feels so sour, would feel good if you could rub my back with that soft lotion.
While he rubs my back I wiggle and moan and tell him how great he is at it and I also tell him... wow hun, I feel so cherished by your soft hands.
Guess what? I get a massage every single time we meet 🥰
The secret, I think, men feel good when they make their woman feel good. It inspires him to do more...
I have a very sweet ‘puppy’ now 🥰
This works 1000 times better than demanding or nagging.
And to be honest: this feels so much better to me too, I glow and smile all the time.
Cause feeling unsatisfied and needing to demand doesn’t feel good to us either and it’s not attractive.
So ladies, tell him how amazing he is and how he makes you feel loved, cherished and valued... you’ll have the man of your dreams.
And if puppy is not reacting to positive reinforcement... he’s not your guy 🤷🏼♀️
Interesting perspective, thanks so much!
Thank you!! if I could’ve learned all this 20-30 yrs ago! oh well...I’ll have it for my next lover 💞
You got this!
If only there were more actual men in the world this would be much more sense. In my experience, waiting for a man to step up is just sitting and waiting for death...except death does eventually arrive.
Don’t give up on love sister! :)
Very caring guy I love you sweetheart
blue looks best on you :)
so sweet thank you!
Thanks for the female game. This information is priceless
Thank you so much! Happy to help!
Hi handsome you are really awesome I want you to talk if you can how about the to express jealousy in my men when I feel like is something exaggerated what he do
thanks my dear! so you want to know how to express feelings of jealousy towards a man when he does something you don't like?
Thank you women strong and all the time join us to guy special future my husband successful
amen sister! love it! 🙏
💜This is soooo true. It’s AMAZING ~ Try It
YES love it my dear!!
😊
:):):)
I don't get what I won't Iwiened up geve him what he wonts
might be time to move on!
What if you want your new man to do something your ex did 🤔 just say like, "I love when men....." ?????? "It feels good to me when......" ?????
Be careful with your beliefs! They create your reality.
@@Mat_Shaffer this was so long ago 🤣😂 I don't remember. I'm in a very serious relationship now and we have a little one together ❤️
Are you single?
haha I plead the fifth there ;)
God you are cute
aww thanks :)
You gave an excellent example of when you want more of something, but what if you want less of something? I always feel like I bring this negatively..
OH that's a great question... tell me a little more specifically what you are wanting less of? :)
@@Mat_Shaffer I would like to have sex less often, but because this is really personal I feel like I should really watch my words
@@jenteschoof hmm very interesting! what is it about the sex that makes you want it less often? Most women in relationship have the opposite issue, they are concerned that they want sex MORE than their male partners!
@@Mat_Shaffer I think it has something to do with my past relationship, I have had sex without wanting too, so it feels really important to me that I can learn to reject it when I don't want too, if that makes sense. But I don't know how to bring this respectfully. I guess I have a lot of healing work to do as well around this matter
@@jenteschoof if there is ever a time you don't want to, then say that and stand firm with your decision. It's really okay not to. You can even explain why to him, and I'd add in that you do enjoy it with him and how it makes you feel closer to him, but that if he can understand and respect that, not take it personal, it would make you feel so much more supported and closer to him and trust him more, and maybe even make you want to have it more.