On the spot! As a Swedish filmmaker I had a lunch-meeting with a Finnish producer, hoping to land a job. I was talking pretty much the entire meeting, and when I stopped it was quiet, and the Finn looked stern. After the meeting I felt like a total failure, a babbling clown, I would never get this job. The next week the Finnish producer called me and said" What a great meeting we had last week, lets do this film together" 🤣🤣🤣
Hello from Finland! Was a couple of year ago at Uppsala and we had international dinner at university. We had table with eight people all around the world. At the table was one Swedish guy and he started facilitating an conversation to reach an agreement which wine we would take. I just said to waitress "could I get bottle of that white wine".. Didn't understand at all that need to get consensus about the wine..
@@kallekonttinen1738 Hello Kalle! Unfortunately the majority of Swedes are consensus addicts. Everyone has to agree on every little detail to an absurd extent. Just like your wine experience. I don't know where this comes from, and I find it extremely stupid. Personally I try my best to avoid this ridiculous behavior.
This video is so validating. My mom was a Finnish immigrant to the US, so she and her parents (obviously also Finnish) helped raise me over in the US. Other than my immediate family, I never really had any other Finnish friends or community, so I had no way of knowing how much of my behavior was cultural vs. my individual personality. I'm realizing that many of my behaviors that I thought were from some kind of neurodivergence are actually cultural differences that are considered "weird" in the US. I'm not saying neurodivergence is bad, it's just helpful having an opportunity now to more fully understand and appreciate the culture I was raised in at home. Thank you for the video!
No, we don’t do role playing in Finland. When I started dating, I said at the first date, I was aiming at marriage, just so she knows. She was totally fine with it. I asked the question two months later and got a ”Yes”. Less than a year since we started dating, we were already married. Now we have been married for 36 years and I have never loved her as much as I do today. Yes, happily married!
So schön!!! Beautiful story! Greetings from Germany. I think, we are very similar in various topics. Definetely need to visit Finland, it is my very first destination.
You approached her because you wanted to marry her and was straight forward about it in order to initiate dating. And I like that ❤ I'm glad you two are happy and still together.
I am Estonian. I would like to say that things like avoiding eye-contact with strangers and not saying Hi to random people has nothing to do with being afraid of people. It is just considered polite to leave other people their space, both literally and methaphorically. We are the same in Estonia. And in a public place, like a bus., which was half empty, someone sat in a seat near me and sai Hi, would be considered superweird, even rude. It is about respecting people"s privacy.
Yeah, it's an interesting cultural difference. It reminds me of Japanese culture and habits. We Americans are generally more direct, outspoken and don't view strangers as "strangers", especially in the South.
Politeness is certainly not the motivation in Finland, or any Nordic country for that matter, for avoiding eye contact on the street. I dare say it cannot be deemed so in Estonia either, albeit my understanding of human behavior rather than direct acquaintance with Estonian customs. The primary motivation lies in evading the hollow sensation ensuing from superficial exchanges. This inclination appears to hold true for humanity at large. A pronounced emphasis on social interaction is the exception rather than the norm. The Nordic societies exhibit a notable absence of such indoctrination. It is not a matter of what the Nordic countries have more but less. We have less disingenuous behavior. A conversation owes to mean something for it to take place.
@@TechnoAssassin-vx6zfIn a workplace, at school, institute, university, in a bar maybe, and possibly neighbors, but it's uncommon to just start talking to random people in the street
In Poland, we also avoid an eye contact in a public space. I have to admit for Polish people it's because we are rather quiet, modest and... even suspicious in general. This behaviour of Poles has it's roots in our history and culture, but even this mode is changing - especially with new generations coming. If you want to reach out Pole, it's not that hard: we love foreigner (especially when they try to speak Polish😉). Just ask something, be kind and respectful and then you would find we are very talkative and easygoing. Paljon onnea, girls!
Awesome questions form the interviewer. Not too probing , thoughtful questions about cultural differences. The interviewee was so generous to really be open enough to give honest answer to all questions asked.
About communicating, there's this joke in Estonia. 2 men are working in the forest for couple of days and eventually one guy asks the other that how is he doing. Next day the other man says that he will quit, because the other one talks too much.
Theres a finnish version of the same! Two men are in the sauna (of course), the other says should we have a beer? The other guy is silent for 39 minutes and says, did we come here to talk bs or to be in the sauna? 😂
That is Finland not Estonia. I spend a lot of time in Estonia since Finland closed the border and Estonians are friendly and helpful and cities like Tallinn are fun, especially Old Town, the perfectly preserved 13th century old city. And everything is half the cost of Finland and English Russian and Estonian are spoken. I am an American living in St Petersburg Russia and like the Finns, the people get along with Russia but they have radical governments that hate Russians
@stanspb763 As Russian US citizen living in the US and being friends with several Finns, I do not think the government of Finland is radical at all. Do you remember what the USSR did to Finland during WW2? Russia has a long shameful record of attacking the neighboring countries and the Finns are being wise to distrust the Russian governments over the years.
@@stanspb763, I am friends with many Finns and Estonians have a visceral hatred of the Russiangovt. One-on-one, people get along. For examples, there are many Iranians, Chinese, and Russians here in the US and we get along fine. We have problems with the dictatorships there. Right now, Russia has the radical govt and they have a history of genocide for more than 100 years.
19:35 As a Finn, I love that we don't have small talk. I like to talk a lot about meaningful things only but small talk literally means talking about stuff that doesn't matter for real (as opposed to meaningful communcation, even if the meaning is joking). As a Finn living in Finland, I feel that I can always skip small talk and start with the real content immediately. And if you don't have any real content to provide, it's perfectly okay to stay silent. Some other cultures consider being silent similar to being rude. Here in Finland, filling the air with non-meaninful noise is considered rude.
We do small talk, but usually when we are meeting someone new that we have interest in like a girl. Also when meeting friends friends we do small talk because our friend means something for us so we try to be nice to their friend. When we know people we go straight for real things to talk about but even with them we do start with "small talk". Of course its a personal thing but the belief that we dont small talk is pure BS because I have way too often heard it in public transport and parks/cafeterias. Its probably people shielding themselves from the other person still but you have to talk about something to show the person you have an interest in getting to know them. I do know people from both sides of the scale but after the small talk that has shown our interest we can be silent. So I would say that the difference is that we don't force the conversation(like the crazy people from USA that really forces you to talk), we throw out "feelers" to see if someone takes the bait and then we stop to sit silent instead until we figure out something better to talk about. My point is that its wrong to say that we dont small talk, just that we dont do it with strangers or with people outside our "zone of interest". Old people like to small talk on public transports because thats their way to get social interaction so then you are in their "zone of interest".
Finns are just socially awkward... I like the fact I can have conversation with any random person abroad. In Finland you get stared and treated as if that was weird. Its no wonder why Finns consume a lot of anti-depressants and are in general very depressed country, despite the faked study on being "the happiest country in the world". Alcohol related deaths near Russia's levels, anti-depressant usage per population one of the highest in the world... Yeah Finland sure is "the happiest country in the world" 🤣🤣 And then as an added bonus people are socially awkward & jealous freaks 🤣🤣
So two person that don't know each other in social settings like a party how they interact each other? "Hello what is the meaning of life according to you" is the first sentence? Really I would like to understand in practical term how two unknown people in new socially acceptable environment (house of friends, dinner, bar etc) interact each other. Do you have same attitude even when alcohol is involved?
If you want to know what makes Finland “happy” you need to look at those societal factors that are present in the comparison. It boils down to a project called Finland as a nation, identity, and borders. This frees people to appreciate things in life because the nation project takes a lot of negatives off the table. You get to level up in the game of life for simple reasons because you will always have a home, food, and basic life guarantees. Your stress level is lower.
@@dharmachile999 So true. I have been lucky to have been financially very successful in business (despite having struggled financially for many years). I've come to realize that the "peace" I've found from having wealth comes mostly from not having to worry about being homeless, hungry or without healthcare...a very sad commentary on the wealthiest country on the planet.
Much like Japan---the country is 86% pure Finish stock with the remaining 14% mostly from bordering countries. In the USA our diversity of cultures brings division. In Chicago today there is a huge event celebrating Mexican Independence Day---why woudl such a thing be celebrated in the US? More importantly those participating why are they not in Mexico?
This was so eye-opening. I attnded collge with fellow student who was from Finland and we were good friends. This made me appreciate so much about the culture and I look forward to visitng Finland and experiencing the culture in person.
Varpu gave an excellent description of finnish way of life. We have a old fashioned sauna by the lake at our commune. You warm it up with wood and carry the water from the nearby lake. That itself is very relaxing, preparing the sauna. And when I was cooling down by the lake at 11pm by myself, all I could hear is some distant birds and the gentle sound of the waves. Very relaxing and peaceful.
Yes, I think their happiness might come from having their basic needs met systematically?. Unlike the U.S, where you have to work hard just to have your basic needs met
Thank you for this great conversation, Marina. I work in infrastructure building remotely in Finland. This conversation has given me a lot of valuable information on social norms in that country. Also, it looks like we are Lakeshore neighbors. Keep up the great work!
Amazing interview! Especially about people not doing "small talk" in public. It is quite similar in my country in cities. But in countryside it is quite normal to speak with people. But not so forced like in US, but only if you have something to say. Or simple have a need to share. I also have no idea what "walk of shame" means. But google helped. It exists in CZ language, but only in true meaning. (for example returning to your chair from blackboard when your teacher catches you totally unprepared for exam) But this weird transferred meaning probably exists only in N.Am. And the reason is nicely described in teen movie Eurotrip: "America was discovered by puritans." 🤣
I have been working in Finland for over 6 years and living mostly in Olkiluoto, Rauma, Pori, Turku, Helsinki (with short breaks) and I must confirm that, in general, Finns are closest to "nature" and very nature-oriented (the other nation similar to them is Iceland). We Europeans don't understand their deep connection with nature until we see it up close. I grew up in the countryside, basically I was raised by my grandparents. The father was on foreign contracts, the mother was at work. Together with my grandparents, who ran the farm, so I was also very close to nature every day and can see that. Finns are extremely humble, peaceful and kind. They are quiet and subtle. Women are beautiful (well an example right here), and girls are like from fairytale, and nice and so kind : ) They made much greater impression on me than overrated women from Sweden :P
Estonians are the same when it comes to nature. It is deeply rooted in our upbringing to respect and not harm anything in nature. the local Russians here do not have it and it just makes me so angry to watch Russian little kids chase birds and kick them with their legs, and their parents watching and saying nothing.... Already in our folklore, all birds and animals were clever creatures and you ill do well to respect them and be their friend. Also snakes and wolves and foxes.... Our werewolf stories are completely different from the regular werewolf stories. In Estonia, the werewolf is a creature who has turned into that (usually by free will) because in nature he would be happier and more free. And maybe thir loved ones already turned into wolves, so they do the same to be loyal to them. Werewolves sometimes hang around the people they left behind and everyone tolerates each other. Human society was too cruel to them, so they become wolves and just try to be happy. Sometimes they come to houses that have new-borns and the mother has no milk. So they feed the newborns Snakes can be guardian angels. Estonians do not kill snakes, even vipers, It would be considered to bring very bad luck, should you do that. Just a few examples. Nature is our friend, something definitely smarter than us, humans. And if we respect nature, it might help us with what they know and we as narrowminded humans do not know. I am really proud of our perception of nature and I hope it will never change. 75% of our territory is forest. Most of it public property. By law, all coasts and shores have to be public property. And when we go to nature, we tend to be quiet. And not leave our trash lieing there. Most of the warm seasons (from April to October) we spend in nature as much as possible. So when you come to Tallinn in summer, you will hear no Estonian spoken anywhere. Because we are in our summer houses. By law, at least half of our payed one month vacation has to be given to employees in summer because nature-time is not to be wasted. And we have our forest animals in our passports. And declared as Estonian citizens by our former president (in her speech about what is the state. What does it mean when we talk about the state having to do this or that. Her point was that the state is not the parliament on Toompea hill, but everyone, including a mouse in her tree in the forest. We are all the same. It is also illegal in Estonia to make noise during nesting seasons. For us, we do that anyway, we do not need those laws. But sometimes it is good to have them so we can refer to them when tourists or non- Estonian residents think it is ok to bully a duck family by making them think you have food so as to get a nice photo of them all. And when you call animal welfare services to an animal in trouble they usually arrive to the spot faster than a human ambulance to an injured person. I waited for the ambulance to my granny for 20 minutes. And a week ago I called environmental service about a bleeding bird and they came in 7 minutes and took it to a vet. I think this 20-7 minutes difference shows it really well what our priorities are.
@@nicklanfear4303 Yes, it is wonderful to know that things still are like that. But with less and less people and even already generations who have less and less contact with the nature (no more grannies livibg in the wilderness where to spend your summer vacations etc, this may start to change. There may just be too many people one day who have no real connection with nature. I hope it never happens though
The secret of the Nordics is that they love Winter. When winter is 2/3 of the year, you learn to appreciate its simple raw honest quality. Warm weather natives have a hard time with the cold. Not so with Northerners. They have dealt with it from childhood and all have great memories of snowy fun days.
I don't mind cold and snow, but to break the winter darkness I love to take a short break in a sunny climate, like so many here in the north. The Nordics like to escape the winter especially to the Spanish Canary Islands or Thailand. In Andalusia there is a small town called Fuengirola, where Finns have a "winter colony". Both old and young, there's a Finnish school as well. Maybe I'll find myself there one day, warming my old bones :)
Incredibly thoughtful guest. She’s able to verbalize the hidden thoughts of Finnish peeps! Sounds like Finns appreciate authenticity, nature, and being real.
I moved to Sweden two years ago and for me it's the same with early spring. With low energy levels after a long winter, I'm longing for warm weather, but it's still cold in March/April and the sunlight is harsh. But when the first warm days arrive, it's an incredible feeling of pure joy and everybody is just happy. :)
So much to comment about but here's few things. For me as a Finnish man, equality's everything. Relationship isn't games but about respecting each other, being open and truly yourself. I don't mind going out for a dinner on first dates but why should the one who pays only be me? It's not about the money but in fairness both should pay their own meals. Relationship's a different story. And if the dates lead to next dates...good. If they lead to sex...good...but no pressure. The whole situation and chemistry between two people will tell where it leads. Sex isn't a taboo in Finland and there must always be two willing parties before anything happens. On a relationship sharing the home chores belong to both of us. Helping each other makes life go much smoother. Respect, share, show affection and empathy, love and enjoy the life together. And when you go to sauna just rip that towel off. Nobody cares if your t/t or b@ll hang lower than the other. We're individuals and that is great. Relax and enjoy of the big and little things.
"I don't mind going out for a dinner on first dates but why should the one who pays only be me?" Rule is, if you invite someone to dinner, then you pay. That is logical and that is fair. You invite someone out to spend their time with you, so you pay for that time. But if you ask someone out, it is you who choose where and when to go and what to do as well. The other who accepted your invitation follow your wishes, and their task is to be as pleasant and respectful for the occasion. Once the first date is done, and both has mutual interest to meet again, that is then when it is negotiated where to meet, as it is no longer question of asking someone out, it is about going out. At that point the rules of dating are clear, both pay equally and both have their say what to do. It is same thing in the nature, male try to attract females and some even bring gifts etc. But once the female accepts the other, it is not anymore competition for one's time.
I won't believe Finnish women would get nude in public saunas with nude men even in the past or now. In Ukraine, I experienced sauna( banya) several times with men at a church I attended. All of us were nude, of course. It was a new experience for me.
@@steadylearner1 Not all does it. The family goes nude in sauna commonly. Then there are that friends can go to sauna nude together, usually it is on same sex, but a good friends can go together regardless sex. And then there is the public places where some goes, but not all if not same sex. But example if you go to swimming in school, you don't go naked mixed, you are divided to girls and boys and each have their own saunas and showers etc. But people don't want nudists in the public beaches etc.
@@paristo that "rule" is on you, buddy. If i invite someone on a 1st date, , that person must be AT LEAST, interested in spending time with me, cause if shes not, id rather she say no, instead of going just for a free meal.
Finland has one of the world's and of Europe's lowest fertility rates. In 1950 it was around 3, now is 1.4. For comparison, France is 1.8. All that talk is very nice, but it seems that in practice is not fulfiling the main objective of a relationship... to raise a family. And Finns don't have the low per capita income "excuse" of the southern Europe countries (Finnish have one of the highest per capita incomes in the world). You are walking very very fast towards a near future without children (well, at least without finnish children), like the rest of Europe, of course, we all suffer from the same auto-inflicted mental blockage.
We are not happy, sometimes we are, not perpetually, we are content of what we have, we are not trying to catch the moon, we work and save money for our hobbies and interests. We are not trying to be rich in a materialistic way, we try to be rich in life and living.
I'm curious, a few years ago, one of the "interests" of any man or woman was to, eventually, raise a family. Is that a "normal" aspiration of today's Finns? I suspect not (fertility rate is 1.4), but I'd like to understand why, in one of the richest countries in the world.
You will be surprised, many good women in the Midwest would be glad to marry a kind man, some don’t mind earning more, most prefer to more of the chores and child care. Obviously every woman loves a kind husband who plays with the kids too.
@@jsbrads1 Actually I wouldn't be surprised by that, people in the Midwest seems to have quite a different mentality compared to the rest of the US, more family oriented.
I moved to Finland from Seattle WA 2 years ago and have a hard time thinking about going back to the USA now. I never planned to stay here more than a year but here I am
I would say about the nudity, that it's different in the way that you don't go to the sauna *to be naked*. Sauna is a normal part of bathing, and just like you don't wear a swimming suit in the shower, you don't wear them in the sauna. But that's it. I think that might be why Varpu felt weird at the Swiss spa. Sounded like there the point was to go be naked, specifically.
That lady is unusually smiley for a Finn. She seems very lovely. My experience is of them only smiling after a beer or two :-). Their humour is so dry that I'm inclined to not realise when they are joking. In general I met people who were lovely and people who were not as much - like you get all over the world. I think they are less stressed than people in huge cities.
I’m a retired American, who’s now living in Ireland. Over the last 40 years, I’ve been in 40 countries and done business in 25 of them, plus been an expat in the Middle East and here the last 8 years. There are pros and cons to every culture. I’ve chosen to live here, so you can probably guess I like Europe. However, I think North American ‘small talk’ gets a bad rap. I’d chose America’s friendliness every day over the stoic culture in much of Europe (we don’t have that as much here in Ireland). The reality is that when you move somewhere that you need to be able to make friends. It’s a HUGE big deal, otherwise you’ll be the loneliest person alive. But you can’t make friends if you are not able to INITIATE a conversation. Sure, many of those conversations wouldn’t lead to deep friendships. That’s OK. However, you have to start somewhere and friendly ‘small talk’ is a great place to start. Plus, I’d rather have a pleasant short conversation with someone than just sit in the corner. It's been shown that this has a positive psychological effect on a person. One thing I like about Ireland is that I can walk many places in town and I know people's names and they know mine. It helps to create a sense of community that would not exist is you didn't have that 'small talk'.
I get your point. Here in Finland though we feel uncomfortable talking to strangers, we are quite self-sufficient and just having small talk with random people would feel fake (you don’t really know that person and care about them) and unpolite (they might not want to be interrupted from their thoughts). But I do see your point about the sense of community.
I'm from the UK and fairly introverted (as well as autistic). I don't find small talk easy, but it IS necessary to oil the wheels of social interaction. People who dismiss it then, ironically, state how unfriendly society is nowadays. Go figure.
This is not exactly accurate. You don't need to make the initiative in Finland, but you can't expect Finnish people to do it first time they meet you. We do not have the superficial american smalltalk culture, but if you for example frequent a gym, swimming hall, jogging route, work, bar etc. People will start to recognize you, and then they will often initiate conversations.
What Varpu describes about Hard spring, can be avoided by strong D - vitamin though out the year. That is D vitamin defiency. This is Very much needed In Finland a Basic thing.
Well you’d think so hey, but it’s not like that everywhere. Here in Canada, especially on the prairies I’d say, the winter creates community. People help each other more, nobody’s an enemy. Generalizing of course, but you get the idea.
Hello everybody, I’m Rochester New York. I want to say that this was the most best podcast documentary and I learned a lot. I learned a lot of Finland culture. And I kind of laughed and pleasing seeing you two talk. 😊
@datingbeyondborderscast 44:14 The practice of rating people numerically came out of American hyper-commercial pop culture and popularized by a romantic comedy starring Bo Derek titled "10" (1979). I saw the film as a kid and watched the (admittedly appalling) practice of reducing human people to a number gain in popularity in my culture. It's REALLY immature.
I like that Varpu is so excited and smiley when she talks about her kids! Varpu wears a ring. Of course she's married to her soul mate. Congrats! I'm glad that Varpu has kids with her current husband but not her ex. Life would be so much easier!
You can't throw water on an electric sauna stove? Of course you can. I live in Finland and many of our stoves are electric and we do throw water on them. Stove rocks are so hot that water evaporates in seconds. But of course, if you know that your sauna stove isn't fit for wet places (like sauna!)..well actually, you shouldn't buy such a sauna stove. They need to be waterproof. All finnish electric sauna stoves are. It would be illegal to have it other way because it would be dangerous to throw water otherwise. If you are certain that your sauna stove can't stand water, please replace it. Infra red-stoves are another thing, on them you shouldn't throw water.
We have this thing called "sää on pukeutumiskysymys" = weather is a question of clothing, if youre cold or or hot, first check what you are wearing. Winters are great, so are the summers, and falls and springs, i wouldnt change the weather of 4 seasons to anything else.
How can you dress for 36 degrees. Take off your skin? As for winter, that is true. Still, if there is already about -15 or -20, it does not matter what you are wearing anymore.
You can pour water on your sauna, dear. Anyone who manufactured a sauna stove will have made it to throw water on the rocks. It is just a strange American thought from the uninitiated that you can't throw water.
She is beautiful a beautiful personality to match. And she’s a country girl. She’s a keeper. I would walk all the way to the end of the world if I knew I could win her heart.
Sounds to me like any new business who is on a budget would just have an impossible time accommodating staffing. Five weeks of vacation, short hours, in addition to paid sick time? So either the prices for everything in Finland are extravagantly high to cover these costs or. It’s almost impossible for someone to start and ramp up a new business.
i love finns..straight to the point and no smalltalk...conversation must have internal deep meaning or have good informatical educational purpose...would love to move there..
Came here to help you reach 1000 subs asap so you can monetise! Love your work, such a rich source of information. I am trying to study in finland next year and i love learning these things about european countries. Thank you for doing what you do.🙏
The "games" of "giving" and "getting" sex come from the times women were economically dependant of men and had to secure a husband. Luckily we don´t need that anymore. We both give and get and want equally.
Not true - the West in particular has tons of self-entitled women who expect a guy to pay for everything in the traditional sense yet want to do nothing or little in return for the guy. Lots of people are fed up with dating as a result and lots of men are wary of ever getting into a long term relationship or marriage due to the divorce laws and other fall-out.
Happiness is the very essence of human being, happiness, peace etc. Its not something that comes from outside, it is already inside. Just many ways it expresses itself. The question really is how far are you from your own heart? Are you looking the happiness from this world, outside of yourself?
I'm finn and for me the hardest month is november. It's so dark and vet and cold - it feels colder that when it's real winter because of rain and smog.
I think in Northern America you might ask someone to go out on a coffee/drink to see if you'd like that person. It might be that you end up having just a friendly drink. In Finland, if you ask someone out, there is already the feeling that I like this person. So asking someone out is already telling them that you're interested in them romanticly. That puts a lot of pressure on the asking someone out part. That's why Finns don't date that much. Tinder has had an effect on it though. But even in Tinder people tend to talk untill they're sure that this could be a romantic match, untill meeting.
I remember during the height of the Hippy era in the tourist town of Jasper Alberta in the Rocky Mountains, there was a summer long free camp that I lived in one summer. There was an adjacent small lake or pond that many hippies "skinny-dipped" in and on the hill above this camp you could see tourists with binoculars trying to "get a peak". I have to say that we were challenging all norms and it was pretty comfortable at the time
Varpu is exceptionally good in putting Finnish culture into words. Looks-wise she actually fits quite well the archetype of a traditional Finnish young woman, or as we say here "Elovena-tyttö" (young woman with a beautiful smile and long blondish hair). Just to let you know, gents, before booking the flight to Helsinki: not all women here are that intelligent, beautiful, open and down-to-earth.
My only experiance says she is a rare beauty and even more rare having such a bright sparkling personality. In many years of meeting women in Finland she stands out over all others. A lot of younger females have adopted extreme tattoos and piercings as if being embarrassed being born with feminine features. The hardest rock music scene is there and large holes in ears and safety pin though lips or cheeks. I was in the music industry in California for over 20 years and my studio created a 197 gold and platinum albums from 1970 to 1994. and never say the extreme rock scene like in Finland There are a lot of girls acting out. Overall, compared to surrounding countries Finn females are not highly sought for mates by anyone. I live in Russia so I guess I am a bit spoiled by beauty of people architecture music dance voice literature, etc. One thing Finland did produce was a number of champion race drivers and one highly rated composer.
40 year old American man here. A 5-week vacation sounds like the best kind of dream. I've never had a vacation longer than a week and only once did I not cash it in and keep working.
It looks like we have a kind of "private public nudity" in Finland. In a public sauna, strangers are naked in front of each other, but even a public sauna is in a sense a private space, a restricted area. I think it is a very different experience being naked in the protective darkness and warmth of a sauna than being naked on a nude beach or something, where you are totally exposed in front of strangers in bright daylight. A sauna is a dark, warm, safe place, kind of like a mother's womb, from where you emerge "reborn". For ancient Finns, sauna was in fact a holy place, where you were supposed to behave with quiet dignity. It was a place of healing and magic, and also babies were born there. People believed, that a sauna was ruled by a "saunatonttu", a guardian spirit, like an elf or gnome, that would get angry if you misbehaved ithere. Some people still believe in them. A sauna is a timeless space, so the German habit of timing your stay in a sauna with a clock would be outright "blasphemy" from a Finnish point of view.
As a Finnish man, im not a fan of women being too fast to have sex in dating. It just makes them feel cheap, and also im not looking for casual hookups myself, so i dont want that sort of attitude from a woman either. Im not saying that there needs to be some strict rules like 3 date rule, but it should be natural. I mean its nice to get to know the person first, and if its just sex straight away, it makes them seem like they will sleep with anyone any time. It could be that first date goes really long and you do see that there is a real connection, then it could be natural to have sex. But in general i think its not nice to have sex with someone, while still dating others. Unfortunately it seems that the standard for Finnish women nowadays is to date many guys, have sex with them and also having casual hookups on the side before committing. For me having sex means that i want to be with that person and focus only on them, at least until it fails. If i were to meet someone i like a lot and had sex with them, and they still wanted to date others, i would just drop the person immediately, no matter how well we clicked.
I love the interest you have regarding Finnish people, I have prepared a list of the things that I think is what makes us Finnish as a Finnish man. Check it out and see if you agree or disagree! A quest for you if you will! 1. You dont talk to strangers and avoid eye contact (there is literally no point, only talk to srangers if there is a purpose behind to it, like asking for directions) 2. Finnish people are very honest, you ask how was our day and we tell you excatly how shitty our day was. :D And the older we get, the more negative the response. 3. TAKE YOUR EFFING SHOES OFF. They bring in mostly the germs (think about how much people, spit, cough, piss and shit on the streets for the love of god people) 4. We love simplicity of life, meaning our apartments are small that fit exactly to what a person needs in their life. Also to what we consume. 5. We love nature, manual labour and we love our country to extreme. Our vacation is 4 weeks at our cottages by the lake side, listening to nothing but nature and our kids playing. We also work during our vacations, but that work is liberating kind of work. Meaning woodwork, renovations, cutting grass, chopping wood, fishing etch. And we will defend this lifestyle to the very last man or woman. 6. DARKNESS. We live with it most of our lives so that means coping with it too. And that means drinking alcohol, we drink. A LOT. Or by consuming us with work like, shedding snow or stuff like that. 7. We are rude, tough and aggressive people by nature. My view is that we are closest thing you come to a real viking. Most of us has been in a fight at least once in their life. And all the men and women have scars of that in some form. 8. For some reason, we love CARS. In the mechanical way, there is not many that does not know how to fix a car. 9. Finnish music, as in finnish METAL or ROCK. Our way to express our emotions, if you are in finland during the summer, you want to be at a festival. Preferably at TUSKA festival. 10. Food, our food is still based on our winter war with Russia. It is very simplistic, but refined over the years to be delicious. It might look apalling at first, but it's good!
I used to think I wanted to move somewhere with an actual winter and cold and snow. But the more I walk around today where the sun is shining and my garden is already on its second crop and it's April, I'm not so sure anymore. I'm sure I'll re-read this post in the summer when it's scorching hot outside and wonder what the hell I was thinking.
You have love the winter more than the summer on the coldest most miserable day or it is just transitory. When I was a kid, I voiced that opinion, but after living in Los Angeles for 15 yrs, I definitely prefer the summer, tho if it is a hot humid place I am unsure 😂
The hardest month for seasonal depression is the current one. Like right now I know last year we had the month of June just like we did this year but we all know what's coming. Winter.
As a Finna I musta say that some parts of this otherwise enjoyable conversation felt a bit exaggerated. But perhaps that's how it always iends up when you try to encapsulate big and highly diversified things into an hour.
Wow I love Finnish culture compared to even Swedes it is that they have a work life balanace but they are open to foreigners and will talk with them. No personally, I can't just have sex with someone I can't do that. It makes me very uncomfortable to even sleep with a stranger. I find intimacy is very personal and emotional. Also on a note as an American I do not make conversation with strangers in elevators, that is just a no for me. I am open about sex and also not afraid to talk about it too. I think kids need to be comfortable with their bodies and their body functions and to know about the changes they go through and just sex. I don't believe children need to be ignorant about that and I am down for them learning young. Fantastic conversation.
I felt from this conversation that Finnish people are very honest and simple people......I feel that there is more innocence in their culture......I like their culture..
I just moved to Lahti from Australia and to me where I am staying here it feels like the countryside. In the country side in Australia when you are walking you usually say hello or smile at anyone who walks past - if you are in your neighbourhood in that town you'll usually even stop for a short chat! I quickly learnt this is not the case here hehe whenever I smile as someone that I walk past they look at me so angrily (probably just their normal face though hehe). It's a bit of a culture shock but I'll keep trying to connect with people :)
Why would you try to connect if they clearly do not want you to? My advice (I am Estonian, but I think this advice is still valid in Finland: if you want to connect, find some common activity. A hobby, or walking a dog or whatever. Even finding a common thing you hate is good. Have something to talk about FIRST, do not attack people with small talk. The more you persist here, the more annoying it will become. Do not push it. And give people time. If they do not want to talk to you today, or this year, accept it. Try again next year, maybe it will work. Pushing people in this part of the world will push you further away.
@@HelenGolovina-y9h it’s just a cultural differences. no right or wrong 🙂 I’ve been managing well building a community here in Finland and even managed to find people who like small talk hahaha! but thanks for the tips
@@paular5380 It is one thing to do small talk to people you already know. And a very different thing to try to use small talk TO GET to know someone. Doing the latter is perceived almost as harassment here
It has everything to do with people's feelings: Countries are ranked according to self-assessed life evaluations and answers to the Cantril ladder question which asks respondents to think of a ladder with the best possible life for them being a 10 and the worst being a zero and then rate their current lives on that scale.
Seems that you don't know the methodology they use. They use surveys where people give their answers based on their own feelings. The use of subjective measurements of wellbeing is meant to be a bottom-up approach which emancipates respondents to evaluate their own wellbeing. This means the results are very much based on people's feelings.
I think Sisu can be explained in a clear way. This will get a bit personal, but I will try. It´s basically tapping in to those emotions you know exist but you don´t allow yourself to have in daily life. The reason being that as humans we´re social creatures and tend to consider which parts of ourselves we show. Sisu is totally different from group morality. It´s more internal and personal, definitely a solo skill typically associated with pushing things through on your own. Sisu is not a group thing at least in my experince, as I experience sisu as a mixture of anger, determination and control. I literally get things done at the last minute with Black / Death metal and heavy weight training because it gets me going. It´s easier for me to focus with a good amount of adrenaline. So for me sisu wouldn´t work without the anger and it definitely shows to the outside, which I hear can be intimidating. I´m kind of interested if other people tap in to other emotions. I´ve never had this discussion with anyone but I´m interested in other people´s views on this. I have a hard time understanding Love Sisu but maybe it´s there...For me it´s definitely a mixture of anger, rage and fury but in a very controlled and cold kind of way. I´ve had several experiences of walking about 30km with a heavy backpack or cycling for 90km inside this "bubble of no-emotion" and it also really helps in the gym. Emphasis on the control, otherwise it´s just a mess and you burn out really fast. And of course you get a major drop after some time because it IS pushing your engine on overdrive.
People wonder the statistics of happiness regarding Finland but so many reasons and examples are mentioned every time people talk about Finland. It's pretty much 1+1=2. Less stress, more satisfaction of what we already have. Closeness of nature and feeling of ease, calmness. Then people wonder how their hectic life is less happy. Slow down and find the calmness.
lots of business meetings in finland are done in the sauna naked. That is definitely part of the culture,you go in there and you have nothing to hide. so no, it's not really a sexual experience at all....too damn hot in there for a start!
I assumed it was and I am sure Fins would not react the way I, as an american, would react. It kind of sounds like an Eskimo name to me but again, nno insult intended@@johannalehtonen9590
33:00 "American's get 2 weeks". Of everything/anything. We can be on sick leave for weeks and still get our holiday's. And the government subsidies it.
One key in winter in Finland is definitely getting outside every day. People will be out walking no matter how cold it is... when I've been there? Once for 3 weeks around Christmas...we walked or ski or snowshoe every day. I was fine.. then a year later I was there again and stayed inside for a week. I nearly lost my mind. And I was up in Lapland. Extremely cold and forest as far as u can see
She gives out such Eloveena girl vibes 😊 ps. Sorry in advance for this wall of text comment, but the interview/conversation was just so interesting, I couldn't help but to chime in my own 2 cents here and there. 7:00 This greatly depends on the people. Some people much prefer the Winter, cold and dark (like myself) while others are the polar opposite (pun not intended). Ofc the Summer loving people are in the majority, but not by as much as very extroverted Finns like her might think. Also, especially children love the winter, since you can ice skate (for free), go snowboarding/downhill skiing or cross-country skiing (for free), ice fishing or riding a snowmobile, all of which are immensely popular activities with younger Finns. Also, even though you also have to go to school in the Winter, for most kids, they get to hang out with 90% of their friends there, and do all sorts of fun activities, projects and events in addition to the lessons. (edit: She eventually did cover some of these things a bit later in the video) Also, unlike in the Southern Finland, the Winters are extremely bright in most of the Finland as well. The reason is the white snow, which will reflect even the tiniest light from buildings, streetlights, starlight, the Moon or even the Northern Lights. Since most Finns live in the South, and they usually don't have proper white Winter snow covering everything for most of the Winter, they have a LOT darker Winters than the rest of Finland, even though they technically have much more Sunlight hours. In the Southern Finland, the snow either doesn't stay long, is very wet and uneven and very dark from all the mud, sand and rubble from the roads, it it doesn't reflect and illuminate the same way as snow does in Lapland for example. What is also often forgotten, is that Winter weather, darkness or coldness (as long as it isn't below -40°C) doesn't limit the lives and activities of Finns all that much, since we have adapted to it. You can still go to a tropical spa world, play football (soccer) in halls, our clothes keep us warm in the outdoors so you can still go for runs and walks just like during the Summer. Apart from the JR trains, all transportation and businesses run uninterrupted (actually, way more so than during the Summer, when everyone is off work on their Summer holiday) 21:15 Harsh, but absolutely 100% accurate 😂 25:00 This is more true with adults who have children and demanding jobs (or new relationships). However, for anyone younger or whose kids have are grown up, this might be the opposite. The more spontaneous and earlier meetings and hookups will work better, and if you are reaching for a calendar to find an available timeslot with these people... you already lost their interest at that point 28:00 In Finland, if you have someone who regularly talks over others, there is a pretty high change they have un- or undermedicated ADHD 30:35 Also, when a Finn is nodding to you during a conversation, it means they are understanding and more or less agreeing with you, but not disagreeing. Especially in some Asian cultures, like in Japan, they nod just to show they are listening, but they might not actually understand or agree with anything you say 39:30 Maybe she was expressing something from the point of view of single mothers, but not meaning she was one herself. I think that might be a very likely source for such an misunderstanding 40:05 Every man's lifegoal right here, to find a significant other, that would look so incredibly happy when talking about you and your children even after years of marriage 🥰that is one lucky guy 1:05:50 This is absolutely not true. There is quite a lot of nudity, and has always been, in the Finnish TV and media, but it isn't sexualized nudity, but more often than not comedic. We've had naked weather news, nudity in many commercials, comedy shows like Kummeli and especially in Finnish domestic movies, a bit of nudity was always bound to happen in one form or another. We also don't blur or sensor X-rated contents or language from movies, or have any curse words that you couldn't say in a Finnish tv, as long as you aren't intentionally trying to use them to attack or hurt some group or minority. You can even hear the N-word quite often in Finnish movies and TV-shows, but it is always either in a joke (like in Blazing Saddles) ridiculing the one using it as a bigot, or to highlight some nasty historical context, and not trying to pretend like people weren't using them, if they were. White-washing history is not good for anyone 1:07:50 I guess it might have felt more of a nudist event than a relaxing, semi-spiritual safe moment that sauna is to Finns. Even as a man I've certainly felt this in Japan, where everyone is constantly staring at you, even though everyone else is naked as well in onsens and sauna there. Finnish University students quite often actual have mixed sauna events completely in the nude during student parties, but even then, they aren't really sexual (even though some, especially women, might be using it as an opportunity to check out "the equipment" of someone's they've had their eyes on for a one night stand)
What a delightful sparkling personality! I would love to meet up when in Finland but the border is closed by Finland. I am an American who lives in St Petersburg Russia and have spent a lot of time in Southern Finland and Karelia where I had a lake side cabin on a lake to myself. Varpu is not a typical Finn.She is far more open and engaging with a bright glowing persona I could listen to for hours. I used to have a Business partner who is a Finn and Russian, and a Muslim so a rare combination. We had a incoming destination management company that provided contract 2-3 tours for cruise ship passengers who came every summer with St Petersburg as their key destination. Ships stayed in Helsinky Finland for 6 hours and 2-3 days in St Petersburg. He settled in St Petersburg married to a local woman and have a 16yo daughter who is internationally know for her winning piano competition. He was a VP of Finnair for a long time and ran operations in the US for decades and is also an American citizen So he still moves back and forth between the 3 countries, which is not easy now that Finland blocked the border. I have not been to Finland since there closed the border. Even though my lake side cabin was owned by an American Finland confiscated my property along with hundreds of homes built by Russians so I have a lot of anger towards the crazy government. It took me 10 years to save the money to buy the property and 3 bedroom cabin. I had a girlfriend in Finland, a nice girl, certainly less attractive then Varpu but in all my years in and out of Finland I never met a woman as attractive and vivacious as your guest. Unfortunately the new aggressive Finland government as guaranteed war with Russia by giving the US free run of the southern border and in the north where the US is building 15 new military bases on the border with Russia which is a serious threat from a 2 minute flight time for US missiles to reach the beautiful highly cultured city of St Petersburg. Russia has responded with a northern border army of 250,000 soldiers. The 5.5 million resident of Finland were not given warning that the aggressive US bases will require eliminating the serious threat to the 7million people of St Petersburg. One unique trait in smaller cities I noticed, if you see a man or a woman, and not there appearance, clothing and hair cut, you can always spot their mate, wearing the same style and color clothes, same hair cut, In larger cities like Helsinki there is more of a gender fashion sense. I have had some strange experiences in Helsinki that is really a cute small capital city, I had been staying a week in one of the top hotels and checked out and found my bus back to Russia was delayed due to mechanical problems with the bus. It was late at night, -25c and snowing hard. Everything closes up early so I went back to the hotel and waited in the lobby. The bus station said repairs would be finished in about 2-3 hours. I sat in the empty lobby for 20 minutes and hotel security kicked me out and arguing and showing that my $600 hotel bills had only been paid an hour before but I was threatened with arrest so I had to walk with my luggage in driving snow and -25C with hard wind all over for 3 hours, my hair and beard were solid ice and when the bus was finally ready I never never so happy to leave a city. Helsinki is not a friendly city to tourists. There are some nice boutiques with attractive local designers. Twice while walking to keep from freezing to death police stopped to warn me I would be arrested if I did not leave. One interesting activity is crazy racing. Finns are into road racing or dirt track racing with home made cars. They take pride in a few top Grand Prix champs were from Finland. Overall Russia is a much more open friendly and cultured society and so much to offer visitors and low prices. Moscow is surely the cleanest most enjoyable large cities in the world, really nice, while St Petersburg is the most laid back walkable cultured, friendly city I have ever been in. It has 427 museums. Both St Petersburg and Moscow are safer than any European or Nordic city
Although Lahti is not even the most difficult place to make contact and friends because there are a lot of descendants of Karelian immigrants and in the older population Karrelians. They are significantly more open than the West Finns. Experience is there :)
Lahti is more dull and rude than Kouvola. Like night and day. But if you really want to meet annoying people, go to Turku or anyways to west coast. It is easy to even notice this in basic customer service and show it to outsiders. It is like the common things that if you go to ask something from someone living in Savo, that you don't get answer to your question, just more doubts and questions. Tapahtui Kuopiolaisessa hampurilaisravintolassa… - Ja mitäs teille? - Mitteepä tässä, kiitos vuan kysymästä. - Tarkoitan siis, mitä te syötte? - Purkkoo, tästä on kyllä jo maku männy. - Mutta mitä te tilaatte nyt? - Savon Sanomii ja Aku Ankkoo, mutta nyt ottasin hampurilaesen. - Selvä. Ja minkähän hampurilaisen? - No eikös se ou se systteemi, jossa on pihivi ja kaks kuorta. Pitäishän se teijän tiällä tiettee. - Syötkö täällä? - Sillon tällön harvakseltaan. - Öh… siis syötkö täällä nyt tällä hetkellä? - Purkkoo vuan eilleen, mutta maku, se on kyllä jo männy. - Puhun tilaamastasi hampurilaisesta. Tuleeko se mukaan? - Kah, jos se vuan tahtoo. - Siis otatko mukaan? - Tule vuan jos halluut. - Selkeä kysymys: syötkö tilaamasi ruoan täällä? - Onko siellä tilloo? Uattelin kyllä että tuolla pöyvässä… - Hyvä on. Saako laittaa kaikki mausteet? - Jos ne vuan mahtuu, vähä kyllä eppäilen. - Eli: kaikkia mausteita vai ei kaikkia mausteita? - Joo… mutta kanelin suap jättee poikkeen. - Eipä sitä kyllä yleensä… no, kaikkia muita saa siis panna? - No sehä olj muute aeka suora ja hävytön kysymys, hävetkkee nyt vähäsen. - Voi helv**** teidän kanssa!! - Vai niin, jotta tällasta palvelluu. Taijanpa sitte jättee tilloomata ja hakkee torilta muikkukukon……..
As a Swede I must say we like Finland probably most of all (other) countries. At least in Stockholm it seems a bit like.. "the real Sweden" sometimes. Finland is still a bit deeper and spiritual, in that sense maybe more Eastern european? The image of Finland in Sweden has improved so much during my lifetime (I am 51 years old). It was never negative but now I whould say, in my circles in Stockholm then, it is extremly positive.
November in Finnish is called Marraskuu, which literally means "death moon" (as pretty much nothing in nature that you can e.g. eat, survives). So yeah, it's harsh except nowadays you can just booze your way out
I'm Danish. If sex was just for procreation it wouldn't be so much fun. Sex is an absolute must before marriage (if you believe in such an old-fashioned institution). Mutually consensual sex can be a game, and it's certainly nothing to frown at.
How do you tell someone is from the Nordic without saying it: "I meet my soulmate 7 years ago. We had a child 5 years ago. We married 3 years ago." And that is the normal order to do it.
Yes, that's true. We are not religious, so we can live togheter and have children without marriage and its very common. Marriage is seen as a beautiful love ritual which you can to if you choose to, anytime you want, but its not seen as necessary.
I can read it from someone's body language or if they grunt or cough as a response, that what they think or might say about the place. I'm somewhat shy, but if I get pass over that I might just monologue about random things. My friend basically didn't respond to me much, but we trained to use English by him checking out some of my typos. So our chat was sometimes like my diary. Still I wouldn't necessarily say that opening chat with me or anyone is rude or weird, so you may check it with some simple moves, or just chat to see if your monologue is worthy of someone's time who doesn't want to talk themself.
Finnish word: "Naida" does mean "to marry" and "to F" The way it works here is that you F until you are married. If you have divorce, it's only because you didn't F enough. To all the passportgirls: Finnish men do not want to do it anyway. Try Norway.
On the spot! As a Swedish filmmaker I had a lunch-meeting with a Finnish producer, hoping to land a job.
I was talking pretty much the entire meeting, and when I stopped it was quiet, and the Finn looked stern.
After the meeting I felt like a total failure, a babbling clown, I would never get this job.
The next week the Finnish producer called me and said" What a great meeting we had last week, lets do this film together" 🤣🤣🤣
Thats amazing! Would love to connec with you as I would love to work more in Finland and Sweden as film producer :)!
Hello from Finland! Was a couple of year ago at Uppsala and we had international dinner at university. We had table with eight people all around the world. At the table was one Swedish guy and he started facilitating an conversation to reach an agreement which wine we would take. I just said to waitress "could I get bottle of that white wine".. Didn't understand at all that need to get consensus about the wine..
@@kallekonttinen1738 Hello Kalle! Unfortunately the majority of Swedes are consensus addicts. Everyone has to agree on every little detail to an absurd extent. Just like your wine experience. I don't know where this comes from, and I find it extremely stupid. Personally I try my best to avoid this ridiculous behavior.
What!😅
Finns have more "hienovarainen" subtle way of working and seeing things.
This video is so validating. My mom was a Finnish immigrant to the US, so she and her parents (obviously also Finnish) helped raise me over in the US. Other than my immediate family, I never really had any other Finnish friends or community, so I had no way of knowing how much of my behavior was cultural vs. my individual personality. I'm realizing that many of my behaviors that I thought were from some kind of neurodivergence are actually cultural differences that are considered "weird" in the US. I'm not saying neurodivergence is bad, it's just helpful having an opportunity now to more fully understand and appreciate the culture I was raised in at home. Thank you for the video!
No, we don’t do role playing in Finland. When I started dating, I said at the first date, I was aiming at marriage, just so she knows. She was totally fine with it. I asked the question two months later and got a ”Yes”. Less than a year since we started dating, we were already married. Now we have been married for 36 years and I have never loved her as much as I do today. Yes, happily married!
So schön!!! Beautiful story! Greetings from Germany. I think, we are very similar in various topics. Definetely need to visit Finland, it is my very first destination.
That is a fantastic story my dude.
Beautiful. It would be a dream if that happens to me 😢 I’ll keep hoping
I have a different story that didn’t end that way
You approached her because you wanted to marry her and was straight forward about it in order to initiate dating. And I like that ❤ I'm glad you two are happy and still together.
I am Estonian. I would like to say that things like avoiding eye-contact with strangers and not saying Hi to random people has nothing to do with being afraid of people. It is just considered polite to leave other people their space, both literally and methaphorically. We are the same in Estonia. And in a public place, like a bus., which was half empty, someone sat in a seat near me and sai Hi, would be considered superweird, even rude. It is about respecting people"s privacy.
Yeah, it's an interesting cultural difference. It reminds me of Japanese culture and habits. We Americans are generally more direct, outspoken and don't view strangers as "strangers", especially in the South.
Politeness is certainly not the motivation in Finland, or any Nordic country for that matter, for avoiding eye contact on the street. I dare say it cannot be deemed so in Estonia either, albeit my understanding of human behavior rather than direct acquaintance with Estonian customs. The primary motivation lies in evading the hollow sensation ensuing from superficial exchanges. This inclination appears to hold true for humanity at large. A pronounced emphasis on social interaction is the exception rather than the norm. The Nordic societies exhibit a notable absence of such indoctrination. It is not a matter of what the Nordic countries have more but less. We have less disingenuous behavior. A conversation owes to mean something for it to take place.
how do you meet people then…?????
@@TechnoAssassin-vx6zfIn a workplace, at school, institute, university, in a bar maybe, and possibly neighbors, but it's uncommon to just start talking to random people in the street
In Poland, we also avoid an eye contact in a public space. I have to admit for Polish people it's because we are rather quiet, modest and... even suspicious in general. This behaviour of Poles has it's roots in our history and culture, but even this mode is changing - especially with new generations coming.
If you want to reach out Pole, it's not that hard: we love foreigner (especially when they try to speak Polish😉). Just ask something, be kind and respectful and then you would find we are very talkative and easygoing.
Paljon onnea, girls!
Awesome questions form the interviewer. Not too probing , thoughtful questions about cultural differences. The interviewee was so generous to really be open enough to give honest answer to all questions asked.
Agree❤
About communicating, there's this joke in Estonia. 2 men are working in the forest for couple of days and eventually one guy asks the other that how is he doing. Next day the other man says that he will quit, because the other one talks too much.
Haha so identifiable in Finland
Theres a finnish version of the same! Two men are in the sauna (of course), the other says should we have a beer? The other guy is silent for 39 minutes and says, did we come here to talk bs or to be in the sauna? 😂
That is Finland not Estonia. I spend a lot of time in Estonia since Finland closed the border and Estonians are friendly and helpful and cities like Tallinn are fun, especially Old Town, the perfectly preserved 13th century old city. And everything is half the cost of Finland and English Russian and Estonian are spoken. I am an American living in St Petersburg Russia and like the Finns, the people get along with Russia but they have radical governments that hate Russians
@stanspb763 As Russian US citizen living in the US and being friends with several Finns, I do not think the government of Finland is radical at all. Do you remember what the USSR did to Finland during WW2? Russia has a long shameful record of attacking the neighboring countries and the Finns are being wise to distrust the Russian governments over the years.
@@stanspb763, I am friends with many Finns and Estonians have a visceral hatred of the Russiangovt.
One-on-one, people get along. For examples, there are many Iranians, Chinese, and Russians here in the US and we get along fine. We have problems with the dictatorships there.
Right now, Russia has the radical govt and they have a history of genocide for more than 100 years.
19:35 As a Finn, I love that we don't have small talk. I like to talk a lot about meaningful things only but small talk literally means talking about stuff that doesn't matter for real (as opposed to meaningful communcation, even if the meaning is joking). As a Finn living in Finland, I feel that I can always skip small talk and start with the real content immediately. And if you don't have any real content to provide, it's perfectly okay to stay silent. Some other cultures consider being silent similar to being rude. Here in Finland, filling the air with non-meaninful noise is considered rude.
The same in Estonia. It is a waste of the person"s time and intrusion of privacy. And sometimes you might even be suspected of dishonest intentions.
We do small talk, but usually when we are meeting someone new that we have interest in like a girl. Also when meeting friends friends we do small talk because our friend means something for us so we try to be nice to their friend.
When we know people we go straight for real things to talk about but even with them we do start with "small talk".
Of course its a personal thing but the belief that we dont small talk is pure BS because I have way too often heard it in public transport and parks/cafeterias. Its probably people shielding themselves from the other person still but you have to talk about something to show the person you have an interest in getting to know them. I do know people from both sides of the scale but after the small talk that has shown our interest we can be silent.
So I would say that the difference is that we don't force the conversation(like the crazy people from USA that really forces you to talk), we throw out "feelers" to see if someone takes the bait and then we stop to sit silent instead until we figure out something better to talk about.
My point is that its wrong to say that we dont small talk, just that we dont do it with strangers or with people outside our "zone of interest". Old people like to small talk on public transports because thats their way to get social interaction so then you are in their "zone of interest".
Finns are just socially awkward... I like the fact I can have conversation with any random person abroad. In Finland you get stared and treated as if that was weird. Its no wonder why Finns consume a lot of anti-depressants and are in general very depressed country, despite the faked study on being "the happiest country in the world". Alcohol related deaths near Russia's levels, anti-depressant usage per population one of the highest in the world... Yeah Finland sure is "the happiest country in the world" 🤣🤣 And then as an added bonus people are socially awkward & jealous freaks 🤣🤣
Same in Germany
So two person that don't know each other in social settings like a party how they interact each other? "Hello what is the meaning of life according to you" is the first sentence? Really I would like to understand in practical term how two unknown people in new socially acceptable environment (house of friends, dinner, bar etc) interact each other. Do you have same attitude even when alcohol is involved?
Oh I love that calmness at Helsinki airport after arriving from other countries.
If you want to know what makes Finland “happy” you need to look at those societal factors that are present in the comparison. It boils down to a project called Finland as a nation, identity, and borders. This frees people to appreciate things in life because the nation project takes a lot of negatives off the table. You get to level up in the game of life for simple reasons because you will always have a home, food, and basic life guarantees. Your stress level is lower.
Oh, what Americans call Communism! (I'm American.)
@@dharmachile999 So true. I have been lucky to have been financially very successful in business (despite having struggled financially for many years). I've come to realize that the "peace" I've found from having wealth comes mostly from not having to worry about being homeless, hungry or without healthcare...a very sad commentary on the wealthiest country on the planet.
Much like Japan---the country is 86% pure Finish stock with the remaining 14% mostly from bordering countries. In the USA our diversity of cultures brings division. In Chicago today there is a huge event celebrating Mexican Independence Day---why woudl such a thing be celebrated in the US? More importantly those participating why are they not in Mexico?
Bloodandsoil is required for socialism. People don't want to be taxed to support outgroups. Close kinship relations are required.
Wonderful conversation. I’d love to check out Finland someday.
Happy you liked it!
This was so eye-opening. I attnded collge with fellow student who was from Finland and we were good friends. This made me appreciate so much about the culture and I look forward to visitng Finland and experiencing the culture in person.
Ive just been to Finland for the first time & fell in love with everything about it. I would love to move there from the UK some day.
We'd be happy to have you and you are always welcome here. :)
Varpu gave an excellent description of finnish way of life. We have a old fashioned sauna by the lake at our commune. You warm it up with wood and carry the water from the nearby lake. That itself is very relaxing, preparing the sauna. And when I was cooling down by the lake at 11pm by myself, all I could hear is some distant birds and the gentle sound of the waves. Very relaxing and peaceful.
Wow, I'd like to experience that when I visit Finland.
Happiness is really a state of mind! I think everyone has a different idea of what happiness is!
Yes, I think their happiness might come from having their basic needs met systematically?. Unlike the U.S, where you have to work hard just to have your basic needs met
Depends on your job! I don't work hard and I'm very happy!!! @@purplelove3666
Thank you for this great conversation, Marina. I work in infrastructure building remotely in Finland. This conversation has given me a lot of valuable information on social norms in that country. Also, it looks like we are Lakeshore neighbors. Keep up the great work!
Happy to hear it has helped! And how small the world is 😀
Amazing interview! Especially about people not doing "small talk" in public. It is quite similar in my country in cities. But in countryside it is quite normal to speak with people. But not so forced like in US, but only if you have something to say. Or simple have a need to share. I also have no idea what "walk of shame" means. But google helped. It exists in CZ language, but only in true meaning. (for example returning to your chair from blackboard when your teacher catches you totally unprepared for exam) But this weird transferred meaning probably exists only in N.Am. And the reason is nicely described in teen movie Eurotrip: "America was discovered by puritans." 🤣
I have been working in Finland for over 6 years and living mostly in Olkiluoto, Rauma, Pori, Turku, Helsinki (with short breaks) and I must confirm that, in general, Finns are closest to "nature" and very nature-oriented (the other nation similar to them is Iceland). We Europeans don't understand their deep connection with nature until we see it up close. I grew up in the countryside, basically I was raised by my grandparents. The father was on foreign contracts, the mother was at work. Together with my grandparents, who ran the farm, so I was also very close to nature every day and can see that. Finns are extremely humble, peaceful and kind. They are quiet and subtle. Women are beautiful (well an example right here), and girls are like from fairytale, and nice and so kind : ) They made much greater impression on me than overrated women from Sweden :P
Estonians are the same when it comes to nature. It is deeply rooted in our upbringing to respect and not harm anything in nature. the local Russians here do not have it and it just makes me so angry to watch Russian little kids chase birds and kick them with their legs, and their parents watching and saying nothing.... Already in our folklore, all birds and animals were clever creatures and you ill do well to respect them and be their friend. Also snakes and wolves and foxes.... Our werewolf stories are completely different from the regular werewolf stories. In Estonia, the werewolf is a creature who has turned into that (usually by free will) because in nature he would be happier and more free. And maybe thir loved ones already turned into wolves, so they do the same to be loyal to them. Werewolves sometimes hang around the people they left behind and everyone tolerates each other. Human society was too cruel to them, so they become wolves and just try to be happy. Sometimes they come to houses that have new-borns and the mother has no milk. So they feed the newborns
Snakes can be guardian angels. Estonians do not kill snakes, even vipers, It would be considered to bring very bad luck, should you do that.
Just a few examples. Nature is our friend, something definitely smarter than us, humans. And if we respect nature, it might help us with what they know and we as narrowminded humans do not know.
I am really proud of our perception of nature and I hope it will never change. 75% of our territory is forest. Most of it public property. By law, all coasts and shores have to be public property. And when we go to nature, we tend to be quiet. And not leave our trash lieing there. Most of the warm seasons (from April to October) we spend in nature as much as possible. So when you come to Tallinn in summer, you will hear no Estonian spoken anywhere. Because we are in our summer houses. By law, at least half of our payed one month vacation has to be given to employees in summer because nature-time is not to be wasted. And we have our forest animals in our passports. And declared as Estonian citizens by our former president (in her speech about what is the state. What does it mean when we talk about the state having to do this or that. Her point was that the state is not the parliament on Toompea hill, but everyone, including a mouse in her tree in the forest. We are all the same. It is also illegal in Estonia to make noise during nesting seasons. For us, we do that anyway, we do not need those laws. But sometimes it is good to have them so we can refer to them when tourists or non- Estonian residents think it is ok to bully a duck family by making them think you have food so as to get a nice photo of them all.
And when you call animal welfare services to an animal in trouble they usually arrive to the spot faster than a human ambulance to an injured person. I waited for the ambulance to my granny for 20 minutes. And a week ago I called environmental service about a bleeding bird and they came in 7 minutes and took it to a vet. I think this 20-7 minutes difference shows it really well what our priorities are.
@@HelenGolovina-y9h wonderful to hear
@@nicklanfear4303 Yes, it is wonderful to know that things still are like that. But with less and less people and even already generations who have less and less contact with the nature (no more grannies livibg in the wilderness where to spend your summer vacations etc, this may start to change. There may just be too many people one day who have no real connection with nature. I hope it never happens though
@@HelenGolovina-y9h yes, 100%
The secret of the Nordics is that they love Winter. When winter is 2/3 of the year, you learn to appreciate its simple raw honest quality. Warm weather natives have a hard time with the cold. Not so with Northerners. They have dealt with it from childhood and all have great memories of snowy fun days.
I don't mind cold and snow, but to break the winter darkness I love to take a short break in a sunny climate, like so many here in the north. The Nordics like to escape the winter especially to the Spanish Canary Islands or Thailand. In Andalusia there is a small town called Fuengirola, where Finns have a "winter colony". Both old and young, there's a Finnish school as well. Maybe I'll find myself there one day, warming my old bones :)
"The secret of the Nordics is that they love Winter. " - ummm .... perhaps a bit over the top? ;)
No tourists, just an honest grey frost on the land day with a fresh breeze in your face and a warm fire in the evening. Yes, we love that indeed.
We don't love winter. We have it, but we don't love it.
@@satuhanna-wi4eq But, you live in Finland?
Incredibly thoughtful guest. She’s able to verbalize the hidden thoughts of Finnish peeps!
Sounds like Finns appreciate authenticity, nature, and being real.
Great conversation. Truly appreciate the candid replies and sharing of information! Thank you both.
I moved to Sweden two years ago and for me it's the same with early spring. With low energy levels after a long winter, I'm longing for warm weather, but it's still cold in March/April and the sunlight is harsh. But when the first warm days arrive, it's an incredible feeling of pure joy and everybody is just happy. :)
This is interesting to know
So much to comment about but here's few things. For me as a Finnish man, equality's everything. Relationship isn't games but about respecting each other, being open and truly yourself. I don't mind going out for a dinner on first dates but why should the one who pays only be me? It's not about the money but in fairness both should pay their own meals. Relationship's a different story. And if the dates lead to next dates...good. If they lead to sex...good...but no pressure. The whole situation and chemistry between two people will tell where it leads. Sex isn't a taboo in Finland and there must always be two willing parties before anything happens. On a relationship sharing the home chores belong to both of us. Helping each other makes life go much smoother. Respect, share, show affection and empathy, love and enjoy the life together. And when you go to sauna just rip that towel off. Nobody cares if your t/t or b@ll hang lower than the other. We're individuals and that is great. Relax and enjoy of the big and little things.
"I don't mind going out for a dinner on first dates but why should the one who pays only be me?"
Rule is, if you invite someone to dinner, then you pay.
That is logical and that is fair.
You invite someone out to spend their time with you, so you pay for that time.
But if you ask someone out, it is you who choose where and when to go and what to do as well.
The other who accepted your invitation follow your wishes, and their task is to be as pleasant and respectful for the occasion.
Once the first date is done, and both has mutual interest to meet again, that is then when it is negotiated where to meet, as it is no longer question of asking someone out, it is about going out. At that point the rules of dating are clear, both pay equally and both have their say what to do.
It is same thing in the nature, male try to attract females and some even bring gifts etc. But once the female accepts the other, it is not anymore competition for one's time.
I won't believe Finnish women would get nude in public saunas with nude men even in the past or now. In Ukraine, I experienced sauna( banya) several times with men at a church I attended. All of us were nude, of course. It was a new experience for me.
@@steadylearner1 Not all does it.
The family goes nude in sauna commonly.
Then there are that friends can go to sauna nude together, usually it is on same sex, but a good friends can go together regardless sex. And then there is the public places where some goes, but not all if not same sex.
But example if you go to swimming in school, you don't go naked mixed, you are divided to girls and boys and each have their own saunas and showers etc.
But people don't want nudists in the public beaches etc.
@@paristo that "rule" is on you, buddy. If i invite someone on a 1st date, , that person must be AT LEAST, interested in spending time with me, cause if shes not, id rather she say no, instead of going just for a free meal.
Finland has one of the world's and of Europe's lowest fertility rates. In 1950 it was around 3, now is 1.4. For comparison, France is 1.8.
All that talk is very nice, but it seems that in practice is not fulfiling the main objective of a relationship... to raise a family. And Finns don't have the low per capita income "excuse" of the southern Europe countries (Finnish have one of the highest per capita incomes in the world). You are walking very very fast towards a near future without children (well, at least without finnish children), like the rest of Europe, of course, we all suffer from the same auto-inflicted mental blockage.
We are not happy, sometimes we are, not perpetually, we are content of what we have, we are not trying to catch the moon, we work and save money for our hobbies and interests.
We are not trying to be rich in a materialistic way, we try to be rich in life and living.
I'm curious, a few years ago, one of the "interests" of any man or woman was to, eventually, raise a family. Is that a "normal" aspiration of today's Finns? I suspect not (fertility rate is 1.4), but I'd like to understand why, in one of the richest countries in the world.
If you have a lake house and your own sauna you are rich compared to most Americans.
Two highly intelligent women talking openly about subjects that should be discussed in this way. Very well presented and well worth watching.
Thanks!
Dating mentality in a nutshell, North America = what can you do for me. Nordic countries = what can we do for each other. That's pretty much it.
Western Europe is somewhere in between the two
Sweden and Norway are as bad as USA lmao
@@paulcolin9071 No. They aren't..
Dont confuse Americano influence from - *Modern Dating*
You will be surprised, many good women in the Midwest would be glad to marry a kind man, some don’t mind earning more, most prefer to more of the chores and child care. Obviously every woman loves a kind husband who plays with the kids too.
@@jsbrads1 Actually I wouldn't be surprised by that, people in the Midwest seems to have quite a different mentality compared to the rest of the US, more family oriented.
I moved to Finland from Seattle WA 2 years ago and have a hard time thinking about going back to the USA now. I never planned to stay here more than a year but here I am
I would say about the nudity, that it's different in the way that you don't go to the sauna *to be naked*.
Sauna is a normal part of bathing, and just like you don't wear a swimming suit in the shower, you don't wear them in the sauna.
But that's it.
I think that might be why Varpu felt weird at the Swiss spa. Sounded like there the point was to go be naked, specifically.
That lady is unusually smiley for a Finn. She seems very lovely. My experience is of them only smiling after a beer or two :-). Their humour is so dry that I'm inclined to not realise when they are joking. In general I met people who were lovely and people who were not as much - like you get all over the world. I think they are less stressed than people in huge cities.
I’m a retired American, who’s now living in Ireland. Over the last 40 years, I’ve been in 40 countries and done business in 25 of them, plus been an expat in the Middle East and here the last 8 years. There are pros and cons to every culture. I’ve chosen to live here, so you can probably guess I like Europe. However, I think North American ‘small talk’ gets a bad rap. I’d chose America’s friendliness every day over the stoic culture in much of Europe (we don’t have that as much here in Ireland). The reality is that when you move somewhere that you need to be able to make friends. It’s a HUGE big deal, otherwise you’ll be the loneliest person alive. But you can’t make friends if you are not able to INITIATE a conversation. Sure, many of those conversations wouldn’t lead to deep friendships. That’s OK. However, you have to start somewhere and friendly ‘small talk’ is a great place to start. Plus, I’d rather have a pleasant short conversation with someone than just sit in the corner. It's been shown that this has a positive psychological effect on a person. One thing I like about Ireland is that I can walk many places in town and I know people's names and they know mine. It helps to create a sense of community that would not exist is you didn't have that 'small talk'.
I get your point. Here in Finland though we feel uncomfortable talking to strangers, we are quite self-sufficient and just having small talk with random people would feel fake (you don’t really know that person and care about them) and unpolite (they might not want to be interrupted from their thoughts). But I do see your point about the sense of community.
I'm from the UK and fairly introverted (as well as autistic).
I don't find small talk easy, but it IS necessary to oil the wheels of social interaction.
People who dismiss it then, ironically, state how unfriendly society is nowadays.
Go figure.
This is not exactly accurate. You don't need to make the initiative in Finland, but you can't expect Finnish people to do it first time they meet you. We do not have the superficial american smalltalk culture, but if you for example frequent a gym, swimming hall, jogging route, work, bar etc. People will start to recognize you, and then they will often initiate conversations.
I enjoy small talk, but I am not interested in friendship. I have enough obligations :D
Happy to chat a little though.
What Varpu describes about Hard spring, can be avoided by strong D - vitamin though out the year. That is D vitamin defiency. This is Very much needed In Finland a Basic thing.
Nordic countries sound like an introvert's paradise.
cold weather makes ppl introverted
Well you’d think so hey, but it’s not like that everywhere. Here in Canada, especially on the prairies I’d say, the winter creates community. People help each other more, nobody’s an enemy. Generalizing of course, but you get the idea.
@@jsigur157 I'd argue it's the darkness. You can always escape the cold by going indoors, but you can't replace seeing the sun.
Nah.... too much Socialism
I am introverted and I would prefer Ireland, Scotland or Switzerland
they are different, disposition of the Danes is very different from the Swedes
The brightest smile I've ever seen😮
mixed with the longest teeth! By the way, I think that is a nordic trait
I’m just getting happier watching her😄
Hello everybody, I’m Rochester New York. I want to say that this was the most best podcast documentary and I learned a lot. I learned a lot of Finland culture. And I kind of laughed and pleasing seeing you two talk. 😊
@datingbeyondborderscast 44:14
The practice of rating people numerically came out of American hyper-commercial pop culture and popularized by a romantic comedy starring Bo Derek titled "10" (1979).
I saw the film as a kid and watched the (admittedly appalling) practice of reducing human people to a number gain in popularity in my culture. It's REALLY immature.
I hate rating my pain at the doctor's office
I like that Varpu is so excited and smiley when she talks about her kids!
Varpu wears a ring. Of course she's married to her soul mate. Congrats!
I'm glad that Varpu has kids with her current husband but not her ex. Life would be so much easier!
It's just too bad she has the name "Varpu" but maybe that is just my English self talkin
@@jsigur157Varpu is a small bird❤️
@@Veruska75 Good to know! Thankyou!
@@Veruska75 It's more shrub or twig. Varpunen is a bird.
@@HannuPulkkinen49 Varpu is another name for varpunen.
You can't throw water on an electric sauna stove? Of course you can. I live in Finland and many of our stoves are electric and we do throw water on them.
Stove rocks are so hot that water evaporates in seconds. But of course, if you know that your sauna stove isn't fit for wet places (like sauna!)..well actually, you shouldn't buy such a sauna stove. They need to be waterproof. All finnish electric sauna stoves are. It would be illegal to have it other way because it would be dangerous to throw water otherwise.
If you are certain that your sauna stove can't stand water, please replace it. Infra red-stoves are another thing, on them you shouldn't throw water.
I got goosebumps hearing Varpu talking about happiness and how it's something different from material success
We have this thing called "sää on pukeutumiskysymys" = weather is a question of clothing, if youre cold or or hot, first check what you are wearing.
Winters are great, so are the summers, and falls and springs, i wouldnt change the weather of 4 seasons to anything else.
How can you dress for 36 degrees. Take off your skin?
As for winter, that is true. Still, if there is already about -15 or -20, it does not matter what you are wearing anymore.
You can pour water on your sauna, dear. Anyone who manufactured a sauna stove will have made it to throw water on the rocks. It is just a strange American thought from the uninitiated that you can't throw water.
Or maybe Americans make shitty sauna stoves.
Its because outside of Finland the stoves are often electrical and not always made to handel water.
She is beautiful a beautiful personality to match. And she’s a country girl. She’s a keeper. I would walk all the way to the end of the world if I knew I could win her heart.
😂😂😂
This Finish lady sounds like the Hungarian Zsa Zsa Gabor in her looks, facial movements,
and great smiles.
Varpu lives in Lahti, wow, I'd hope to meet you on the streets of Lahti someday.
Kippis!!!
Sounds to me like any new business who is on a budget would just have an impossible time accommodating staffing. Five weeks of vacation, short hours, in addition to paid sick time? So either the prices for everything in Finland are extravagantly high to cover these costs or. It’s almost impossible for someone to start and ramp up a new business.
i love finns..straight to the point and no smalltalk...conversation must have internal deep meaning or have good informatical educational purpose...would love to move there..
You both are amazing!! love the podcast!! S2
Thank you!
Came here to help you reach 1000 subs asap so you can monetise! Love your work, such a rich source of information. I am trying to study in finland next year and i love learning these things about european countries. Thank you for doing what you do.🙏
Thank you for your lovely comment!
Only a Fin would do that.@@datingbeyondborderscast
Go to a local bar and just sit by yourself and look cool. No words. You might get someone say to you; I love your atospher
Whats an Atospher?
He's gotta mean atmosphere @@ThePhantom712
The "games" of "giving" and "getting" sex come from the times women were economically dependant of men and had to secure a husband. Luckily we don´t need that anymore. We both give and get and want equally.
Not true - the West in particular has tons of self-entitled women who expect a guy to pay for everything in the traditional sense yet want to do nothing or little in return for the guy. Lots of people are fed up with dating as a result and lots of men are wary of ever getting into a long term relationship or marriage due to the divorce laws and other fall-out.
If you want kids you do
Happiness is the very essence of human being, happiness, peace etc. Its not something that comes from outside, it is already inside. Just many ways it expresses itself. The question really is how far are you from your own heart? Are you looking the happiness from this world, outside of yourself?
I'm finn and for me the hardest month is november. It's so dark and vet and cold - it feels colder that when it's real winter because of rain and smog.
I think in Northern America you might ask someone to go out on a coffee/drink to see if you'd like that person. It might be that you end up having just a friendly drink. In Finland, if you ask someone out, there is already the feeling that I like this person. So asking someone out is already telling them that you're interested in them romanticly. That puts a lot of pressure on the asking someone out part. That's why Finns don't date that much. Tinder has had an effect on it though. But even in Tinder people tend to talk untill they're sure that this could be a romantic match, untill meeting.
Tinder is more or less just a hook up app and not a dating app.
Varpu sounds a such woman i could ask to go to activity date. :3 Good video. I'm from Finland also.
what an advanced society
Their school system is amazing. They also have a controversial way of handling poor parents though maybe that is Norway
I have always enjoyed watching dating beyond borders and now I love this podcast channel ❤
Sauna every day has Very scientific background about multiple health benefits
I remember during the height of the Hippy era in the tourist town of Jasper Alberta in the Rocky Mountains, there was a summer long free camp that I lived in one summer. There was an adjacent small lake or pond that many hippies "skinny-dipped" in and on the hill above this camp you could see tourists with binoculars trying to "get a peak". I have to say that we were challenging all norms and it was pretty comfortable at the time
Varpu is exceptionally good in putting Finnish culture into words. Looks-wise she actually fits quite well the archetype of a traditional Finnish young woman, or as we say here "Elovena-tyttö" (young woman with a beautiful smile and long blondish hair). Just to let you know, gents, before booking the flight to Helsinki: not all women here are that intelligent, beautiful, open and down-to-earth.
My only experiance says she is a rare beauty and even more rare having such a bright sparkling personality. In many years of meeting women in Finland she stands out over all others. A lot of younger females have adopted extreme tattoos and piercings as if being embarrassed being born with feminine features. The hardest rock music scene is there and large holes in ears and safety pin though lips or cheeks. I was in the music industry in California for over 20 years and my studio created a 197 gold and platinum albums from 1970 to 1994. and never say the extreme rock scene like in Finland There are a lot of girls acting out. Overall, compared to surrounding countries Finn females are not highly sought for mates by anyone. I live in Russia so I guess I am a bit spoiled by beauty of people architecture music dance voice literature, etc. One thing Finland did produce was a number of champion race drivers and one highly rated composer.
40 year old American man here. A 5-week vacation sounds like the best kind of dream. I've never had a vacation longer than a week and only once did I not cash it in and keep working.
I love Finnish culture open minded and can adjust
Loved my visits to Helsinki, even in the winter. The thing that surprised me is that Finns LOVE to sing karoke ...especially heavy metal!
God damn that accent... ❤️🔥
Marina should be our PR person for the rest of the world forever. You go, girl!
Marina, kiitos, kova veto!
Haha you mean representing Finland?
@@datingbeyondborderscast Yeah
@@datingbeyondborderscast English is only my third language, you know?
He is absolutely gorgeous and her personality and happiness is infectious
It looks like we have a kind of "private public nudity" in Finland. In a public sauna, strangers are naked in front of each other, but even a public sauna is in a sense a private space, a restricted area. I think it is a very different experience being naked in the protective darkness and warmth of a sauna than being naked on a nude beach or something, where you are totally exposed in front of strangers in bright daylight. A sauna is a dark, warm, safe place, kind of like a mother's womb, from where you emerge "reborn". For ancient Finns, sauna was in fact a holy place, where you were supposed to behave with quiet dignity. It was a place of healing and magic, and also babies were born there. People believed, that a sauna was ruled by a "saunatonttu", a guardian spirit, like an elf or gnome, that would get angry if you misbehaved ithere. Some people still believe in them. A sauna is a timeless space, so the German habit of timing your stay in a sauna with a clock would be outright "blasphemy" from a Finnish point of view.
In Vancouver people rarely talk to each other in elevators , I notice in Toronto they are much more gregarious or less uptight in this way.
@@decollector95 Maybe it’s to not be annoying to strangers who might prefer quiet.
@@decollector95 😂here it kinda does
As a Finnish man, im not a fan of women being too fast to have sex in dating. It just makes them feel cheap, and also im not looking for casual hookups myself, so i dont want that sort of attitude from a woman either. Im not saying that there needs to be some strict rules like 3 date rule, but it should be natural. I mean its nice to get to know the person first, and if its just sex straight away, it makes them seem like they will sleep with anyone any time. It could be that first date goes really long and you do see that there is a real connection, then it could be natural to have sex. But in general i think its not nice to have sex with someone, while still dating others. Unfortunately it seems that the standard for Finnish women nowadays is to date many guys, have sex with them and also having casual hookups on the side before committing. For me having sex means that i want to be with that person and focus only on them, at least until it fails. If i were to meet someone i like a lot and had sex with them, and they still wanted to date others, i would just drop the person immediately, no matter how well we clicked.
Varpu is lovely
35:51 actual dating discussion
I love the interest you have regarding Finnish people, I have prepared a list of the things that I think is what makes us Finnish as a Finnish man. Check it out and see if you agree or disagree! A quest for you if you will!
1. You dont talk to strangers and avoid eye contact (there is literally no point, only talk to srangers if there is a purpose behind to it, like asking for directions)
2. Finnish people are very honest, you ask how was our day and we tell you excatly how shitty our day was. :D And the older we get, the more negative the response.
3. TAKE YOUR EFFING SHOES OFF. They bring in mostly the germs (think about how much people, spit, cough, piss and shit on the streets for the love of god people)
4. We love simplicity of life, meaning our apartments are small that fit exactly to what a person needs in their life. Also to what we consume.
5. We love nature, manual labour and we love our country to extreme. Our vacation is 4 weeks at our cottages by the lake side, listening to nothing but nature and our kids playing. We also work during our vacations, but that work is liberating kind of work. Meaning woodwork, renovations, cutting grass, chopping wood, fishing etch. And we will defend this lifestyle to the very last man or woman.
6. DARKNESS. We live with it most of our lives so that means coping with it too. And that means drinking alcohol, we drink. A LOT. Or by consuming us with work like, shedding snow or stuff like that.
7. We are rude, tough and aggressive people by nature. My view is that we are closest thing you come to a real viking. Most of us has been in a fight at least once in their life. And all the men and women have scars of that in some form.
8. For some reason, we love CARS. In the mechanical way, there is not many that does not know how to fix a car.
9. Finnish music, as in finnish METAL or ROCK. Our way to express our emotions, if you are in finland during the summer, you want to be at a festival. Preferably at TUSKA festival.
10. Food, our food is still based on our winter war with Russia. It is very simplistic, but refined over the years to be delicious. It might look apalling at first, but it's good!
I used to think I wanted to move somewhere with an actual winter and cold and snow. But the more I walk around today where the sun is shining and my garden is already on its second crop and it's April, I'm not so sure anymore. I'm sure I'll re-read this post in the summer when it's scorching hot outside and wonder what the hell I was thinking.
You have love the winter more than the summer on the coldest most miserable day or it is just transitory.
When I was a kid, I voiced that opinion, but after living in Los Angeles for 15 yrs, I definitely prefer the summer, tho if it is a hot humid place I am unsure 😂
The hardest month for seasonal depression is the current one. Like right now I know last year we had the month of June just like we did this year but we all know what's coming. Winter.
As a Finna I musta say that some parts of this otherwise enjoyable conversation felt a bit exaggerated. But perhaps that's how it always iends up when you try to encapsulate big and highly diversified things into an hour.
Wow I love Finnish culture compared to even Swedes it is that they have a work life balanace but they are open to foreigners and will talk with them. No personally, I can't just have sex with someone I can't do that. It makes me very uncomfortable to even sleep with a stranger. I find intimacy is very personal and emotional. Also on a note as an American I do not make conversation with strangers in elevators, that is just a no for me. I am open about sex and also not afraid to talk about it too. I think kids need to be comfortable with their bodies and their body functions and to know about the changes they go through and just sex. I don't believe children need to be ignorant about that and I am down for them learning young. Fantastic conversation.
i explained the birds and bees to my daughter at about 6. Not sure that it got thru though
I felt from this conversation that Finnish people are very honest and simple people......I feel that there is more innocence in their culture......I like their culture..
I just moved to Lahti from Australia and to me where I am staying here it feels like the countryside. In the country side in Australia when you are walking you usually say hello or smile at anyone who walks past - if you are in your neighbourhood in that town you'll usually even stop for a short chat! I quickly learnt this is not the case here hehe whenever I smile as someone that I walk past they look at me so angrily (probably just their normal face though hehe). It's a bit of a culture shock but I'll keep trying to connect with people :)
Why would you try to connect if they clearly do not want you to?
My advice (I am Estonian, but I think this advice is still valid in Finland: if you want to connect, find some common activity. A hobby, or walking a dog or whatever. Even finding a common thing you hate is good. Have something to talk about FIRST, do not attack people with small talk. The more you persist here, the more annoying it will become. Do not push it. And give people time. If they do not want to talk to you today, or this year, accept it. Try again next year, maybe it will work. Pushing people in this part of the world will push you further away.
@@HelenGolovina-y9h it’s just a cultural differences. no right or wrong 🙂 I’ve been managing well building a community here in Finland and even managed to find people who like small talk hahaha! but thanks for the tips
@@paular5380 It is one thing to do small talk to people you already know. And a very different thing to try to use small talk TO GET to know someone. Doing the latter is perceived almost as harassment here
@@HelenGolovina-y9h okay 🙂
@@HelenGolovina-y9h okay 🙂
People don't seem to understand, that this "happiness" index has nothing to do with peoples feelings. 🤡🤡🤡
Exactly
It absolutely does. Read the report and what it actually measures.
It has everything to do with people's feelings: Countries are ranked according to self-assessed life evaluations and answers to the Cantril ladder question which asks respondents to think of a ladder with the best possible life for them being a 10 and the worst being a zero and then rate their current lives on that scale.
Contentment
Seems that you don't know the methodology they use. They use surveys where people give their answers based on their own feelings.
The use of subjective measurements of wellbeing is meant to be a bottom-up approach which emancipates respondents to evaluate their own wellbeing.
This means the results are very much based on people's feelings.
I love her eyes. So unique-shaped
There are so many foreigners wondering about our life. Never accurred in your mind it could be you who are weird or just different.
I think Sisu can be explained in a clear way. This will get a bit personal, but I will try. It´s basically tapping in to those emotions you know exist but you don´t allow yourself to have in daily life. The reason being that as humans we´re social creatures and tend to consider which parts of ourselves we show. Sisu is totally different from group morality. It´s more internal and personal, definitely a solo skill typically associated with pushing things through on your own. Sisu is not a group thing at least in my experince, as I experience sisu as a mixture of anger, determination and control. I literally get things done at the last minute with Black / Death metal and heavy weight training because it gets me going. It´s easier for me to focus with a good amount of adrenaline.
So for me sisu wouldn´t work without the anger and it definitely shows to the outside, which I hear can be intimidating. I´m kind of interested if other people tap in to other emotions. I´ve never had this discussion with anyone but I´m interested in other people´s views on this. I have a hard time understanding Love Sisu but maybe it´s there...For me it´s definitely a mixture of anger, rage and fury but in a very controlled and cold kind of way. I´ve had several experiences of walking about 30km with a heavy backpack or cycling for 90km inside this "bubble of no-emotion" and it also really helps in the gym. Emphasis on the control, otherwise it´s just a mess and you burn out really fast. And of course you get a major drop after some time because it IS pushing your engine on overdrive.
People wonder the statistics of happiness regarding Finland but so many reasons and examples are mentioned every time people talk about Finland. It's pretty much 1+1=2. Less stress, more satisfaction of what we already have. Closeness of nature and feeling of ease, calmness.
Then people wonder how their hectic life is less happy. Slow down and find the calmness.
I think Varpu is a 10.
lots of business meetings in finland are done in the sauna naked.
That is definitely part of the culture,you go in there and you have nothing to hide.
so no, it's not really a sexual experience at all....too damn hot in there for a start!
Thank you Marina for talking to Varpu!
I always wanted to find a woman like Varpu to be my wife and the mother of my future kids!
"Varpu". Sounds like a fish.
@@jsigur157 It's a Finnish word but not anything fishy about it... In English it would be 'withe'.
I assumed it was and I am sure Fins would not react the way I, as an american, would react. It kind of sounds like an Eskimo name to me but again, nno insult intended@@johannalehtonen9590
33:00 "American's get 2 weeks". Of everything/anything. We can be on sick leave for weeks and still get our holiday's. And the government subsidies it.
One key in winter in Finland is definitely getting outside every day. People will be out walking no matter how cold it is... when I've been there? Once for 3 weeks around Christmas...we walked or ski or snowshoe every day. I was fine.. then a year later I was there again and stayed inside for a week. I nearly lost my mind. And I was up in Lapland. Extremely cold and forest as far as u can see
Lesson learned? Don't cross the arctic circle away from the ocean
She gives out such Eloveena girl vibes 😊
ps. Sorry in advance for this wall of text comment, but the interview/conversation was just so interesting, I couldn't help but to chime in my own 2 cents here and there.
7:00 This greatly depends on the people. Some people much prefer the Winter, cold and dark (like myself) while others are the polar opposite (pun not intended). Ofc the Summer loving people are in the majority, but not by as much as very extroverted Finns like her might think. Also, especially children love the winter, since you can ice skate (for free), go snowboarding/downhill skiing or cross-country skiing (for free), ice fishing or riding a snowmobile, all of which are immensely popular activities with younger Finns. Also, even though you also have to go to school in the Winter, for most kids, they get to hang out with 90% of their friends there, and do all sorts of fun activities, projects and events in addition to the lessons.
(edit: She eventually did cover some of these things a bit later in the video)
Also, unlike in the Southern Finland, the Winters are extremely bright in most of the Finland as well. The reason is the white snow, which will reflect even the tiniest light from buildings, streetlights, starlight, the Moon or even the Northern Lights. Since most Finns live in the South, and they usually don't have proper white Winter snow covering everything for most of the Winter, they have a LOT darker Winters than the rest of Finland, even though they technically have much more Sunlight hours. In the Southern Finland, the snow either doesn't stay long, is very wet and uneven and very dark from all the mud, sand and rubble from the roads, it it doesn't reflect and illuminate the same way as snow does in Lapland for example.
What is also often forgotten, is that Winter weather, darkness or coldness (as long as it isn't below -40°C) doesn't limit the lives and activities of Finns all that much, since we have adapted to it. You can still go to a tropical spa world, play football (soccer) in halls, our clothes keep us warm in the outdoors so you can still go for runs and walks just like during the Summer. Apart from the JR trains, all transportation and businesses run uninterrupted (actually, way more so than during the Summer, when everyone is off work on their Summer holiday)
21:15 Harsh, but absolutely 100% accurate 😂
25:00 This is more true with adults who have children and demanding jobs (or new relationships). However, for anyone younger or whose kids have are grown up, this might be the opposite. The more spontaneous and earlier meetings and hookups will work better, and if you are reaching for a calendar to find an available timeslot with these people... you already lost their interest at that point
28:00 In Finland, if you have someone who regularly talks over others, there is a pretty high change they have un- or undermedicated ADHD
30:35 Also, when a Finn is nodding to you during a conversation, it means they are understanding and more or less agreeing with you, but not disagreeing. Especially in some Asian cultures, like in Japan, they nod just to show they are listening, but they might not actually understand or agree with anything you say
39:30 Maybe she was expressing something from the point of view of single mothers, but not meaning she was one herself. I think that might be a very likely source for such an misunderstanding
40:05 Every man's lifegoal right here, to find a significant other, that would look so incredibly happy when talking about you and your children even after years of marriage 🥰that is one lucky guy
1:05:50 This is absolutely not true. There is quite a lot of nudity, and has always been, in the Finnish TV and media, but it isn't sexualized nudity, but more often than not comedic. We've had naked weather news, nudity in many commercials, comedy shows like Kummeli and especially in Finnish domestic movies, a bit of nudity was always bound to happen in one form or another. We also don't blur or sensor X-rated contents or language from movies, or have any curse words that you couldn't say in a Finnish tv, as long as you aren't intentionally trying to use them to attack or hurt some group or minority. You can even hear the N-word quite often in Finnish movies and TV-shows, but it is always either in a joke (like in Blazing Saddles) ridiculing the one using it as a bigot, or to highlight some nasty historical context, and not trying to pretend like people weren't using them, if they were. White-washing history is not good for anyone
1:07:50 I guess it might have felt more of a nudist event than a relaxing, semi-spiritual safe moment that sauna is to Finns. Even as a man I've certainly felt this in Japan, where everyone is constantly staring at you, even though everyone else is naked as well in onsens and sauna there. Finnish University students quite often actual have mixed sauna events completely in the nude during student parties, but even then, they aren't really sexual (even though some, especially women, might be using it as an opportunity to check out "the equipment" of someone's they've had their eyes on for a one night stand)
What a delightful sparkling personality! I would love to meet up when in Finland but the border is closed by Finland. I am an American who lives in St Petersburg Russia and have spent a lot of time in Southern Finland and Karelia where I had a lake side cabin on a lake to myself.
Varpu is not a typical Finn.She is far more open and engaging with a bright glowing persona I could listen to for hours.
I used to have a Business partner who is a Finn and Russian, and a Muslim so a rare combination. We had a incoming destination management company that provided contract 2-3 tours for cruise ship passengers who came every summer with St Petersburg as their key destination. Ships stayed in Helsinky Finland for 6 hours and 2-3 days in St Petersburg. He settled in St Petersburg married to a local woman and have a 16yo daughter who is internationally know for her winning piano competition. He was a VP of Finnair for a long time and ran operations in the US for decades and is also an American citizen
So he still moves back and forth between the 3 countries, which is not easy now that Finland blocked the border. I have not been to Finland since there closed the border. Even though my lake side cabin was owned by an American Finland confiscated my property along with hundreds of homes built by Russians so I have a lot of anger towards the crazy government. It took me 10 years to save the money to buy the property and 3 bedroom cabin.
I had a girlfriend in Finland, a nice girl, certainly less attractive then Varpu but in all my years in and out of Finland I never met a woman as attractive and vivacious as your guest.
Unfortunately the new aggressive Finland government as guaranteed war with Russia by giving the US free run of the southern border and in the north where the US is building 15 new military bases on the border with Russia which is a serious threat from a 2 minute flight time for US missiles to reach the beautiful highly cultured city of St Petersburg. Russia has responded with a northern border army of 250,000 soldiers. The 5.5 million resident of Finland were not given warning that the aggressive US bases will require eliminating the serious threat to the 7million people of St Petersburg.
One unique trait in smaller cities I noticed, if you see a man or a woman, and not there appearance, clothing and hair cut, you can always spot their mate, wearing the same style and color clothes, same hair cut, In larger cities like Helsinki there is more of a gender fashion sense. I have had some strange experiences in Helsinki that is really a cute small capital city, I had been staying a week in one of the top hotels and checked out and found my bus back to Russia was delayed due to mechanical problems with the bus. It was late at night, -25c and snowing hard. Everything closes up early so I went back to the hotel and waited in the lobby. The bus station said repairs would be finished in about 2-3 hours. I sat in the empty lobby for 20 minutes and hotel security kicked me out and arguing and showing that my $600 hotel bills had only been paid an hour before but I was threatened with arrest so I had to walk with my luggage in driving snow and -25C with hard wind all over for 3 hours, my hair and beard were solid ice and when the bus was finally ready I never never so happy to leave a city. Helsinki is not a friendly city to tourists. There are some nice boutiques with attractive local designers. Twice while walking to keep from freezing to death police stopped to warn me I would be arrested if I did not leave.
One interesting activity is crazy racing. Finns are into road racing or dirt track racing with home made cars. They take pride in a few top Grand Prix champs were from Finland. Overall Russia is a much more open friendly and cultured society and so much to offer visitors and low prices. Moscow is surely the cleanest most enjoyable large cities in the world, really nice, while St Petersburg is the most laid back walkable cultured, friendly city I have ever been in. It has 427 museums. Both St Petersburg and Moscow are safer than any European or Nordic city
Although Lahti is not even the most difficult place to make contact and friends because there are a lot of descendants of Karelian immigrants and in the older population Karrelians. They are significantly more open than the West Finns. Experience is there :)
Lahti is more dull and rude than Kouvola. Like night and day. But if you really want to meet annoying people, go to Turku or anyways to west coast.
It is easy to even notice this in basic customer service and show it to outsiders. It is like the common things that if you go to ask something from someone living in Savo, that you don't get answer to your question, just more doubts and questions.
Tapahtui Kuopiolaisessa hampurilaisravintolassa…
- Ja mitäs teille?
- Mitteepä tässä, kiitos vuan kysymästä.
- Tarkoitan siis, mitä te syötte?
- Purkkoo, tästä on kyllä jo maku männy.
- Mutta mitä te tilaatte nyt?
- Savon Sanomii ja Aku Ankkoo, mutta nyt ottasin hampurilaesen.
- Selvä. Ja minkähän hampurilaisen?
- No eikös se ou se systteemi, jossa on pihivi ja kaks kuorta.
Pitäishän se teijän tiällä tiettee.
- Syötkö täällä?
- Sillon tällön harvakseltaan.
- Öh… siis syötkö täällä nyt tällä hetkellä?
- Purkkoo vuan eilleen, mutta maku, se on kyllä jo männy.
- Puhun tilaamastasi hampurilaisesta. Tuleeko se mukaan?
- Kah, jos se vuan tahtoo.
- Siis otatko mukaan?
- Tule vuan jos halluut.
- Selkeä kysymys: syötkö tilaamasi ruoan täällä?
- Onko siellä tilloo? Uattelin kyllä että tuolla pöyvässä…
- Hyvä on. Saako laittaa kaikki mausteet?
- Jos ne vuan mahtuu, vähä kyllä eppäilen.
- Eli: kaikkia mausteita vai ei kaikkia mausteita?
- Joo… mutta kanelin suap jättee poikkeen.
- Eipä sitä kyllä yleensä… no, kaikkia muita saa siis panna?
- No sehä olj muute aeka suora ja hävytön kysymys, hävetkkee nyt vähäsen.
- Voi helv**** teidän kanssa!!
- Vai niin, jotta tällasta palvelluu. Taijanpa sitte jättee tilloomata ja hakkee torilta muikkukukon……..
As a Swede I must say we like Finland probably most of all (other) countries. At least in Stockholm it seems a bit like.. "the real Sweden" sometimes.
Finland is still a bit deeper and spiritual, in that sense maybe more Eastern european? The image of Finland in Sweden has improved so much during my lifetime (I am 51 years old). It was never negative but now I whould say, in my circles in Stockholm then, it is extremly positive.
November in Finnish is called Marraskuu, which literally means "death moon" (as pretty much nothing in nature that you can e.g. eat, survives). So yeah, it's harsh except nowadays you can just booze your way out
I'm Danish. If sex was just for procreation it wouldn't be so much fun. Sex is an absolute must before marriage (if you believe in such an old-fashioned institution). Mutually consensual sex can be a game, and it's certainly nothing to frown at.
I think I need to move to Finland
i find this vlog helpful when it comes to dating finn😊
How do you tell someone is from the Nordic without saying it:
"I meet my soulmate 7 years ago.
We had a child 5 years ago.
We married 3 years ago."
And that is the normal order to do it.
That's funny
Yes, that's true. We are not religious, so we can live togheter and have children without marriage and its very common. Marriage is seen as a beautiful love ritual which you can to if you choose to, anytime you want, but its not seen as necessary.
As long as you don't buy a house together renting is ok
Socially, St Petersburg competes with Helsinki and the difference is like day and night.
You won't get fire from pouring water 😂
I can read it from someone's body language or if they grunt or cough as a response, that what they think or might say about the place. I'm somewhat shy, but if I get pass over that I might just monologue about random things.
My friend basically didn't respond to me much, but we trained to use English by him checking out some of my typos. So our chat was sometimes like my diary.
Still I wouldn't necessarily say that opening chat with me or anyone is rude or weird, so you may check it with some simple moves, or just chat to see if your monologue is worthy of someone's time who doesn't want to talk themself.
Finnish word: "Naida" does mean "to marry" and "to F"
The way it works here is that you F until you are married. If you have divorce, it's only because you didn't F enough.
To all the passportgirls:
Finnish men do not want to do it anyway. Try Norway.
thanks for all your finland related content. i will visit in summer to find a lover at the wife carrying contest.
Sounds like many people bring their own. I suppose if you go early, you can find someone to go with you to the competition.
@@jsbrads1 that's the plan
@@conanobrian8580 gl
About every relationship i've had in Finland: sex now, dating later. Most initiated by the woman.