Your Money Trauma Starts at Childhood

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  • Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
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    Part 3 of Tim's Healthy Tools series. Many people coming from addiction and Complex Trauma do not have a healthy relationship with money, and it causes them much stress and many problems. We want to understand what causes this unhealthy relationship and learn how to have a healthy relationship with money.
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Комментарии • 83

  • @kristenmerrill-nl2dh
    @kristenmerrill-nl2dh Год назад +105

    I can’t get enough of Tim and his wisdom ; he’s got such a talent in expressing things surrounding trauma. Better than years of therapy.

    • @Nick_Taylor.
      @Nick_Taylor. 6 месяцев назад +2

      Depends on the therapist. There are a brilliant few. Took me 10 years of searching before I found the one who could facilitate healing for my severe C-PTSD 50 minutes at a time for only a year. 😊

    • @Keepitsimplewithfireball
      @Keepitsimplewithfireball 3 месяца назад +1

      So true!!!

    • @gologanlarisa5871
      @gologanlarisa5871 Месяц назад

      I absolutely agree!❣️

    • @Clevelandsteamer324
      @Clevelandsteamer324 Месяц назад

      It’s called the Holy Spirit working through him.

  • @princonsuella_
    @princonsuella_ 6 месяцев назад +62

    This man is the first person to actually describe what happens to us properly. I've watched so many videos on CPTSD, but I have never felt so validated as I feel now. Thank you, Tim.

  • @HighVibe001
    @HighVibe001 6 месяцев назад +30

    Tim's explanation of complex trauma is so accurate and he delivers the message with compassion. Its nice to hear the Christian relevance at the end of each video. The Bible should be a reference for everyday life. I have never in my life heard any pastor, priest, church leader etc. relate stories in the Bible with trauma. Church always doubled down on my shame most of the time. This information is priceless. Thank you Tim Fletcher!!!!

  • @BluieBeth
    @BluieBeth 6 месяцев назад +29

    I have been binge watching Tim's videos.
    Not good for my sleep but it sure has been amazing to learn all of this.
    God bless you.

  • @t.roberts
    @t.roberts 5 месяцев назад +15

    Would love more videos on financial insecurity stemming from childhood trauma. My issue with spending is that I feel like I never should. I always move the goal post of the amount in savings and act like if it dips below said number, we will lose everything. Not healthy. Unsure how to heal from this.

    • @jolaola1987
      @jolaola1987 5 месяцев назад

      Financial insecurity due to the childhood complex trauma can show up as hoarding as well. Or inability to earn own money, not knowing or believing how to , not being able to plan and budget correctly. There's soome Indian guy in America who wrote a book and has his show on Netflix about how to live your rich life on whatever budget you have, spending money first on what you really care for. It's good but sometimes people with CT don't feel like they deserve anything they like so they don't even know what they like and deserve and as you said are often afraid to spend money at all and allow themselves to actually live the life, or the opposite they spend too much on things that numb them down like drugs or whatever the addiction is.

  • @msgoldym
    @msgoldym 7 месяцев назад +17

    I really like the way this guys separates church and state, thank you for giving me the opportunity to learn without having to compromise my own spiritual belief system. I wish all people took this approach.

  • @WanitaLund
    @WanitaLund 3 месяца назад +3

    I'm not that religious but.... This and a few of your videos are actually really helpful! I've listened to so many other people and it felt like they were trying to teach me advanced algebra and I can only do basic math

    • @WanitaLund
      @WanitaLund 3 месяца назад

      I'm struggling with spending money - I've been struggling to bring my spending under control. Thank you, I watched the Christian part and it felt like my grandmother was reaching out again

  • @leeboriack8054
    @leeboriack8054 3 месяца назад +2

    If I could only go back in time and share Tim’s wisdom with my younger self and siblings.

  • @JT0007
    @JT0007 Год назад +23

    I’ve got a unique experience here. I’m CPTSD but with money. Not a ton, but my net worth is >$1M and I’ve got enough rental homes to have retired this year at 37.
    I used to spend $ like crazy. Now my wife has is spending like college students. So glad I got control of my addiction spending $. 🇺🇸

  • @Usernameblahblahnblah
    @Usernameblahblahnblah 2 месяца назад +1

    Wow. All of this is eye opening but the Christian part truly resonates with me. Truly amazing. Thank you, Tim for trusting God so you can be an example for others.

  • @daridari755
    @daridari755 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you Tim for this. I'm currently going through some financial struggles. Hearing you speak about this opened up a sense of hope and clarity about where it's possible to be in terms of health. Although I'm not a Christian, I appreciated the lessons from hearing your stories from Christianity and the healing through a relationship with God and your self. Thanks very much.

  • @sbutle01
    @sbutle01 7 месяцев назад +8

    This is the most healing talk I’ve ever heard. I’m just realizing the source of my gambling addiction and alcohol problem was my dad’s attitude towards money; yelling at my mom about spending and being miserly. My parents made good money too. Now, I bond with my dad over retirement funds and economic news. Wow, this really helped.

  • @goose5551111
    @goose5551111 Год назад +16

    this guy is so good

  • @thewilltoms1
    @thewilltoms1 4 месяца назад +1

    Wow. This was incredible. What an eye opening and God-filled message. Gonna be leaning into more of Tim’s teachings for sure.

  • @iw9338
    @iw9338 4 года назад +11

    Oh my goodness. I did not realize that this anger inside me ,is actually bitterness toward the golden child. And the alcoholics in my life. God Bless you and yours. 😁😍😎

  • @slavenanikolova6260
    @slavenanikolova6260 2 года назад +14

    I so much can relate to that story. Used to live in a communist regime country. People wanted and fought hard about democracy and freedom, but as there were no laws or power to keep some order in the country, lots of people went wild with criminal activities, doing their best to grab whatever they could put their hands on... others had to face absolute poverty, hunger, suicide...so many people became nostalgic for the regime, just because they knew that they had the minimum at least of some food guaranteed, roof over their heads, and some perceived safety... that was when the phrase "Who needs freedom on empty stomach and no money to live of?" born...

    • @leahflower9924
      @leahflower9924 2 года назад +1

      Thats the one credit I give to communism and socialism is that shelter should be guaranteed a society that accepts homelessness is ridiculous

    • @phoenixaz8431
      @phoenixaz8431 Год назад +1

      @@leahflower9924 Not that simple. Many are homeless as a result of doing hard drugs. But for those who are clean, I agree, more could be done, even if it meant temporarily living in a shed with electricity, sanitation and water.

    • @sarahalderman3126
      @sarahalderman3126 11 месяцев назад +2

      @@leahflower9924other than the fact that both socialism and communism come with the guarantee of starvation and poverty.

  • @kathiwrightmahaffey3987
    @kathiwrightmahaffey3987 6 месяцев назад +4

    I praise God thank him for this man's wisdom an understanding he is blessed there have been so many chains broken off me an I'm sure for many more so many of us have spent yrs not knowing what was wrong with us thank you Lord for all these I binge watch them praise God thank you Father I keep him in my prayers his family all who have found these teachings an I pray many more find them I'm sharing every one I can Glory be to God

  • @Veracityseeker7
    @Veracityseeker7 5 месяцев назад +6

    My mother couldn't show me love and affection. All she did was spend on me, to make it look like she loved me. Set me up for a lot of issues down the line, on top of having 10 surgeries, and a bunch of other health issues. Its so difficult.

    • @carolinelala9818
      @carolinelala9818 5 месяцев назад +1

      That sounds better than the neglect and abuse I got. I know it's not but it's one less Shame situation or I at least hope so for your sake. Best of health and healing to you.

    • @MainHouse-kf3tb
      @MainHouse-kf3tb 3 месяца назад

      I was like your mother. I didn't know how to be there emotionally for my daughter only giving stuff instead of my attention. I thought that was how you showed love. My greatest mistake. She was 32 when she went " no contact"😭😞. I'm heartbroken... Devastated... knowing I caused her such tremendous emotional pain... And now I won't have that chance to repair it sadly . I loved/ love her with ALL my heart and soul. I just didn't know

  • @kingskid8121
    @kingskid8121 5 дней назад

    God is certainly using your videos to help me! I’m thankful!

  • @michellebechard3457
    @michellebechard3457 24 дня назад

    No contact boundaries with narcs- closing the doors!

  • @songcirclecopyhouse2640
    @songcirclecopyhouse2640 Месяц назад +1

    Thank you Tim! I am getting healthy-I realizing that I self medicated with booze hand need to completely quit drinking.

  • @starwaters4287
    @starwaters4287 6 месяцев назад +5

    Money its paper made everyday. It is not our land our water our way of life. It is not our children our home or our love . 🙏

    • @aaronmcpeakofficial6256
      @aaronmcpeakofficial6256 5 месяцев назад

      money behaves as if you are not supposed to accumulate it
      why....because money is a psyop and behaves as permission slips to be yourself

  • @terrikavanagh4635
    @terrikavanagh4635 4 года назад +15

    A wise man 🙂

  • @andybowkerhere
    @andybowkerhere 2 месяца назад

    I definitely have trauma issues but I have never understood hoarding. I find it easy to let go of things I don't need or have use for

  • @merriem24
    @merriem24 3 месяца назад

    Best teacher I’ve heard in quite some time, with both spiritual and non spiritual subjects

  • @cledosliop4175
    @cledosliop4175 5 месяцев назад +2

    valuable content. Thanks for sharing this. 🙏🏻

  • @Verukkk
    @Verukkk 6 месяцев назад +3

    omg im so happy i found your videos

  • @GodIsLove1John416
    @GodIsLove1John416 9 месяцев назад +1

    I'm thankful for all of Tims talks, it's put into words where there was none before. I noticed in the beginning of the foot notes, d & e are missing. I like taking screenshots for quick references & sharing with others.

  • @jenna_rem
    @jenna_rem 8 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you for sharing this enlightening and valuable information

  • @hxjdjdn6236
    @hxjdjdn6236 5 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you so much for this 😢

  • @bryanmccaffrey4385
    @bryanmccaffrey4385 6 месяцев назад +2

    Funny (not funny at all actually). I had to check myself into a Toronto hospital after the death by suicide of my little brother. The head psychiatrist there told me to "man up" and "take that job offer for a different view." I could barely think. I could not in fact work for another year due to the traumatic loss and grief. I numbed it further with alcohol. This is also what led to the dissolution of my relationship right around that time so didn't get that empathic witness or safe landing spot for the trauma part. Learned about that later and now school is covering it.
    Thanks for making this video. It explains the financial scenario I found myself in, along with addiction driving it. I see where it all comes from now. It's so clear to me. I wonder why mental health professionals could not ask the right questions. I was labeled with bipolar disorder (which was later dismissed by a forensic psychologist). This western medical model for mental health has to go. It doesn't work. Clearly.

    • @vchgs2872
      @vchgs2872 2 месяца назад

      So sorry. Hope you're healing.

  • @Coach-j1h
    @Coach-j1h 5 месяцев назад +1

    I'm taking this to the bank ! Thank you sir 🎉

  • @billygracia
    @billygracia 2 месяца назад +1

    What happen's when someone has Money issues overspending but is then always not held accountable of how they got there and is always bailed out by there Parents? they never learn about money or Value of Money right?

  • @patsyjudd2117
    @patsyjudd2117 4 года назад +10

    I've been watching these for months , its all.good its all right .i just don't know how to get it permanently .in my brain ..i wish i cold buy cds and watch them on my big tv .or on a cd and listen on my car radio .

    • @iw9338
      @iw9338 4 года назад +5

      It's a process .As God reveals He walks along with us to help us heal. All the best.

    • @azaleaslight3599
      @azaleaslight3599 Год назад +4

      Record it on your phones voice recorder, can listen to it anywhere then 😊

  • @Dustin-jg6ms
    @Dustin-jg6ms 3 месяца назад

    Love makes the world go around,but money greased the hub!

  • @ImTheNewFruit
    @ImTheNewFruit 2 года назад +5

    Shopping is therapy for me 😀

    • @ladyj5682
      @ladyj5682 Год назад +1

      Yes, I've realized this too. I received such bad counseling that I told myself I would do better using my co pays to do what I want versus the endless poor counseling that didn't help me but wasted my money

    • @Veracityseeker7
      @Veracityseeker7 5 месяцев назад

      Unfortunately me too. I hate it.

  • @michellebechard3457
    @michellebechard3457 24 дня назад

    I love that bitter or better!

  • @christyjones3590
    @christyjones3590 Год назад +5

    Christy was here

    • @phoenixaz8431
      @phoenixaz8431 Год назад +3

      Hi Christy! I'm glad you were. Hope things are good wherever you are.💚

  • @outoficecream2740
    @outoficecream2740 7 месяцев назад +2

    Could you elaborate pls on perhaps a different approach to shame... I can relate to many points here about money, but I think due to my some of mother's anger be so tied to money... when little my plan was to have money to gain her approval, but at same hand I was used for money and I feel like I self sabotage my potential ( fear of success) to no disappoint her. Or to be use by my family. ... as normally they only contact me for money.

    • @TimFletcher
      @TimFletcher  7 месяцев назад +1

      You might find my 6-Part series on Shame helpful. Part 1 is here: ruclips.net/video/IOQTfqUdypc/видео.html

  • @Tatianathegem13
    @Tatianathegem13 5 месяцев назад +1

    Payday SO TRUE

  • @phoenixaz8431
    @phoenixaz8431 Год назад +1

    Nothing comes remotely close to money as a means to go against God's decrees of lack, shame, adversity and despair for your destiny. Even he has to bow to the power of money.

    • @ladyj5682
      @ladyj5682 Год назад +4

      That was an interesting statement but God doesn't bow to anything or anyone. People do the bowing and He sits back and allows us to wallow in our consequences until we turn to Him and say......I am choosing to bow to You now versus Monday. I believe God understands the hurts and pains of living in this very broken world and Hi grace and mercy follows us when we are His and desire better

  • @mrshmanckles1463
    @mrshmanckles1463 6 месяцев назад +1

    I wish I could get a condensed 15 min version of his talks

    • @Veracityseeker7
      @Veracityseeker7 5 месяцев назад +1

      Nope. That's not how healing works. It takes effort. Challenge your attention span, or miss out. Your call.

  • @TrustInTheUniverse
    @TrustInTheUniverse 29 дней назад

    What about trouble earning money?

  • @jenniferdennis8052
    @jenniferdennis8052 6 месяцев назад +1

    Tim do you do online counselling .... I live in Australia I have a couple of questions

    • @Okeezy-v7g
      @Okeezy-v7g 6 месяцев назад +1

      Check out his website. There are programs.

  • @DaltonBlack-of5ld
    @DaltonBlack-of5ld 5 месяцев назад

    Love of money I disagree is the root of all evil I LOVE money and if I had the means I would make more of it. I feel unrestrained lust of money is what can be the danger when wine turns into poison.

  • @Cardio_gram
    @Cardio_gram 6 месяцев назад

    This is the problem ghis I need to escape phisically then how I need is to escape mentally😢

  • @elbowkickit
    @elbowkickit 8 месяцев назад

    can i translate this in my language and write this in blog, because people in my country didn't aware and doesn't understand english. thank you for share i really help me knowing root all of my problem

  • @prestons9305
    @prestons9305 3 года назад +4

    I just need about tree fiddy

  • @Cardio_gram
    @Cardio_gram 6 месяцев назад

    Money exactly finnaly someone telling me this

  • @johnwrickel
    @johnwrickel 5 месяцев назад

    🦄 Dolt by John Rickel 🦄

  • @Gypsymommarose347
    @Gypsymommarose347 9 месяцев назад +2

    🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️

  • @Cardio_gram
    @Cardio_gram 6 месяцев назад

    Noises all night can't work noises the day I have nightmares with them i m sick of their voices all day

  • @fairygurl9269
    @fairygurl9269 7 месяцев назад +1

    🐿

  • @maddykuehl8411
    @maddykuehl8411 2 года назад

    alive tree brought death, dead tree brought life

  • @ladybaby3
    @ladybaby3 6 месяцев назад +5

    "Money shows what you value."
    Me: *looks at bank statements and sees that groceries is where my money goes.* *Looks down at my overweight body.*
    Me: "Welp....🫤"