Black Women Over 40….Still Single (But Why?)
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- I am still asking the question about the value of beauty. Why is it that women who have been said to "have it all," can't seem to get what they really want.
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@DoctorThunder - I mentioned you toward the end of the video. 🙏🏾🙌🏾
My biggest advice to black women - start looking in college. Like the other women.
So true indeed. I missed my opportunity with that!
Start looking in the mirror
Many want a man that has Trump's money and model looks while walking on water and turning prune juice into aged cognac. Good luck with that.
@@Footprintsinthesand6436 you should try that too! Lol…. Trying to shade people.
Went to Howard. Thr ration of women to men was 8:1. Most colleges have more women
Not prioritizing family, then blame God on the outcome.
Once again, classic denial, refusal to self-reflect, and lack of accountability. Except for the few remarkably genuine and honest women, too few ALWAYS explain the problem(s) as being outside themselves. They NEVER are responsible or share any of the blame. Truly unbelievable. 😐
It was his plan...lol.
But children aren't for everyone.
blame god and the man and society but never themselves.
They’re single bc of their personalities and character.
And attitude, demeanor and aura...
Or… shy and introverted. Not all women are the same.
@@learningearning8385 Agreed, I was talking about the type highlighted here.
@@learningearning8385 Of course, but we are talking about populations.
just Yuk....i accept that in my aunties and female cousins but i rather date in Europe than these women and I am 50 with no kids and handsome.. I practice celibacy on bw for the last 15 years.
Boss chicks don't equal wives...🤨
How much are you making ?🤔
@@sasha69Xurgelash Noneya'...
Speaking as a black woman, I think there’s a few factors that contribute to beautiful unwed black women:
1. Not wanting to admit that they need and want a man. Black women are taught to be independent and to not rely on a man so they view men as merely an accessory to their life instead of a companion to share their life with.
2. Lack of fathers in the home growing up. Other cultures get to see how a home operates and functions with a man present. Therefore women have an idea of what traits to look for when selecting a partner. What happens when you didn’t grow up in a home with your father or your mother had a string of failed relationships. You don’t really know what you need, so you end up dating the wrong guys. Now this isn’t foolproof by any means , but typically speaking.
3. Having too high standards, placing yourself on a pedestal and thinking that every man is beneath you bc he hasn’t achieved the Same wealth or career/education level.
I agree you have made some good points. The me too feminist and modern independent ( I don't need a man) womens movements have left many women ,confused sad anxious and lonely. One thing for sure, if possible a family should have a father and a mother . Good luck.
There are many reasons why this happens to so many bw.
These are just 2 reasons that i see:
1) Having & holding on to 'a list' / criteria of things they want from a man. Most times more than half of the things on that list dont add any value to a long lasting union.
2) to put it plainly, they are not willing to be their types' type!😂
Some of the men that they want do exist, but are they willing to meet those men's criteria in terms of weight/appearance, age, behaviour, mindset etc
One thing that I've noticed is that not only is the list extremely long, but it is often filled with standards that are inconsequential. It's almost as if the goal is to drive things to the point of failure.
There is no such thing as a 100% fail-proof marriage. Perhaps the women in question have abandonment issues.
RIP Kevin Samuels
She's echoing his exact sentiments whilst tip toeing on egg shells. 😐
🤔 Western society is insane, very rarely does the person you need, want, or lust after actually feel the same about you. [most of us avoid the low 🍎 hanging fruit on our tree in search of the ones far above our heads] most of us starve to de@+h in the process
Capitalism destroyed patriarchy, which destroyed feminine virtue.
A consequence of the "never settle" philosophy. Go for the gusto, but remember that life is short and often there _will_ be a need to make certain concessions. Not possible to "have it all".
Western eurocentric idealogy.....doing damage from Norway to Japan
@@hananokuni2580 The avg black womans ideal man is 6'6, has done hard time, has a mouth full slugs, a head full of dreads, has a doctorate, is an entrepreneur, makes 150K a year,has a 6 bedroom house, and is home by 8:00 to help her kids with their homework......Because this is like 5/6 different dudes most of these women end up floating around from 1 man to another like that feather from Forestt Gump, because "settling" is never an option.
@@DeeDaKaang1 Could be that the phrase _Never settle_ is misunderstood. It should mean _Get the best man for you_ , but it is often interpreted as _Get the best man that society says is good for you._
Why would women that wanted children, but never had any, be shamed? Who is shaming them? What is the point in shaming them?
What's the point of shaming men who don't want to get married nor provide for women who aren't their submissive wives?
Your answer lies deep in the mirror
@@KtotheG I don't think women on average are shaming men for not getting married. I think the argument is more centered around the fact that a man (traditionally) leads the relationship conversation (ie asking for marriage etc). The rationale is if there is a man that is not getting married that will directly correlate to the # of women remaining single. This issue is complex and I think that overall women are more guarded and this has a lot to do with how we were raised. To be married means to become vulnerable and both men and women are not willing to roll the dice and trust God with their life.
@@monalisaf3457 Women control that, though. Most men would love to have women in their lives, but they aren't willing to be taken advantage of. The problem today is that more and more men are realizing that women don't love and respect them, so they are not willing to risk their lives for them. Once modern women let go of their virtue, it was over for them. We don't want partners or users.. We want women we can trust to have our backs and not take our kids away from us.. and most men don't see those kinds of women in this country.
@@KtotheG- Exactly! 🎯-- *_"The problem today is that more and more men are realizing that women don't love and respect them.."_*
Self esteem movement has given us an over inflated sense of self regard. We overshot with calling women Queens. So an ordinary good man is seen as a plebeian.
Good point!
Black women spend too much time educating each other badly as well as telling each other about what men want and what men think. I've listened to women quietly and say to myself, I can't believe they say and believe what is coming out of their mouths. I don't dare interrupt or advise them of anything. Further, why don't women ask men what they like and what they think and would they do about a particular situation? And why are others are getting married much quicker than western women black and white? 1 reason is this western court system will destroy men in favor of incentivising women. Clock is ticking ladies. Humble yourself ladies, and act right. Us men are simple. You are still the most beautiful. It's the attitudes. Correct all that and then we will.
Most women are gonna watch how wishes don't always come true 😂😂😂
One thing that hurts modern women is that you modern give away sex unlike any other group of women before you. So men don’t see the need to be in a relationship with you. Also character is lacking in a lot of American women which makes it harder for women to get married.
Hi @nnekaonyilofor I just want to say that a lot of none famous black women who want to get married and are not are in church. I go to a Pentecostal holiness church and we are very strict with dating. I am turning 36 in a couple of weeks and I have only ever dated once in my life when I was 26 turning 27. There are almost no men in church my denomination, and we believe in only marrying within our faith. There are a lot of women who are much older than me who are still single and childless, a lot of them were raised in the church. We are not failures, the circumstances that we are in is what caused our singleness. We chose our path to wait for God to send us a man who will be our husband. As always, keep up the good work.
Look outside the church. The only thing dating within does is keep membership up and money contributed.
Thank you for your comment and perspective! Are there a lot of women in your church who never marry/have kids?
At least visit different churches…
@@nnekaonyilofor
In my church most of those women are or were married. In my family, however, many of my aunts never married or had children. Come e to find out both my grandfathers were really mean to them and totally turned them off from men altogether. 🤷🏾♀
@@nnekaonyilofor oh absolutely! Many of my friends are in their 40s. They are professionals too, one of them a doctor. She has never been married and doesn’t have children. She is still “waiting on God” for her husband. I would say that most of the single women in the congregations that I am associated with who are still in church, did not go ahead a have kids. They have been faithful to their faith.
Thanks for the shout out
There is a large percentage of men who bring nothing to the table, that's why a lot of women are single. I'm 43 and I have met bums my whole life and so I don't date anymore, it's exhausting at his point, and I feel silly dating at this age. The last guy I dated wanted to date me so badly, and we got together, and this man never took me anywhere so eventually I left him because he is playing games. People ask me why I'm not married, and I tell them I'm not married because I don't want a bum for a husband.
@@leelee185 I am really sorry to hear this. You should check out this content creator named Oh Stephco. She just made a video about this the other day.
Beautifully well said Sister.
Having high standards means knowing what you are worth and not settling for some one that cannot and will not appreciate you. There are many examples of women that settle and end up miserable and or divorced (alone). It is worth making yourself available for the right one. Prayer and effort helps.
I DONT EAT PORK SINCE 1971 WIDOWER AGE 72 LOOK 50 !! YES I AM HERE !!!
Women like Chilli you have to leave them alone in a corner so they can decay by themselves. Their a nuisance it’s best just to ignore them….
Great summation 😎 time for change people 😏👍
Well Chilli from TLC isn't single anymore y'all. Her and Matthew Lawrence. I'm so happy for him and her ❤
They're a cute couple. 💗
Chilli is happily in a relationship now with Matthew Lawrence.
She isn’t married!
And? Ya'll keep unaliving women as a whole. Men are NOT the prize!@@darnellrhodes6174
@@darnellrhodes6174so
So no acknowledgment of a lot of men being trashtastic? Ok.👍🏾
Oh that's been done since the 80's. In fact, some of the women in the comments blame black men. That never stopped. I know that it's uncomfortable for women to hold each other accountable , but your future sons and grandsons will benefit from it 💯
Hey Chile Rozanda I met you before TLC days when you were working at Greenbriar mall you gave me your number. I attended Morehouse College at the time. I thought you had a fantastic smile. We met at the basketball game our first date was incredible. You met my friends girlfriends and you were telling me you were singing at baby face studio. I was trying to focus on getting into my fraternity and we lost touch. Those guys ragged me for dating a high school senior while I was a freshman, then later those same guys ran up to me with your album in hand. I have watched your dating from Usher to this present wm. I wrote this letter to encourage you. When you were that senior girl working at Greenbriar mall you were so cute, humble, and adorable full of hope and positive. Become that girl again and I am confident you will find your husband. I had a blast with you on that first date. My bros still rag me about it.
Nneka you are beautiful 😍
Thank you!
@@nnekaonyilofor your welcome
Why is Chili in the thumbnail? She’s been in a relationship for a year now.
CHILLI was born - (FEB - 27 - 1971) , Which means she just turned (53 YEARS OLD)
.
I didnt have to do the math on that, because i know she's the same age as me.
I was born on (SEPT - 16 - 1971), and i'm 52 going on 53 YEARS OF AGE this year myself
Married women who did not become mothers were looked upon by society as left out of the future blessings of GOD earth.
For a woman to willfully RemoVe herself & her name from being part of future generations
would be unfathomable to those women of those TIMES. Something powerful must have happened to cause such a change in Women.
Women started voting, working, gained independence then realized they had a choice in how they could live their lives. The rest is history.
venus williams look what you started
But just like the brown and black collation, the femenist movement was a shame. How other groups of western women choose to deal with their men is not our problem, because when it was black women under fire, when it comes to the red hill community, all the other races of women were bystanders, or they collaborated.
I greatly agree with your😢 assessment. To sum it up, you can travel the Earth trying to fulfill Unrealistic Expectations. I think the reason why women go on these "quest" so undaunted soo long is because of Independant (read Feminist) propaganda. Respect for men or a culture that germinated to have wisdom and balance over time would tend to correct erroneus thinking.
There's single white women too. Smh.
All you older black women need to save the younger generation
The wall is undefeated
One ward MOUTH 😂
hello
do you want intro outro banner poster flyer
Easy to pick on women that you’ve written off. Seems to be a current trend on RUclips right now, especially by male content creators, but women too obviously, to 💩 on women who’ve already realized their mistakes and are hurting and as you all point out, nothing they can do about it now.
A good man may come around when we are already in a relationship but I don't want to take the risk of leaving a person for someone else. Men and women put on their best representative when they like a person and then when you date them may realize they are not a good person. So I feel sometimes it's taking a risk for a person who says they may be a good man but may not be
These pickme videos are a joke.
Todays women are just too damn picky and think they got forever, so until they reach the mindset that they are not 10s they will continue to price themselves out of the market!
In my opinion taking accountability for ourselves is key.
As a Black Man I can’t let the Sista’s take all the blame because WE AS MEN gotta take accountability too!
I don’t do the gender war B.S because it’s just another tool that was used to keep us divided on the plantation and has carried over into this day.
I love you Sis and all the Sista’s reading my comment who have elevated their consciousness above the insanity that’s meant to keep us divided and I know I speak for all the Black Men who have elevated their consciousness as well.💪🏾
Feminism has infected our black churches, causing men to leave and women to not take accountability. Feminism has caused women to place themselves first instead of the nuclear family. 80% of black children are born out of wedlock to less than 20% of black men, yet, women are not held accountable for that. 💯
golden! girl you understand! .Sadly most dont and we going over seas .Few like yourself will probably win but most wont . Stay bright girl :)
@@X-Factor-22 lol but who fell for the con? .It wasnt us. Come on we all know about willam lynch . To fuc k ne race you get to the women 1st.
@@X-Factor-22personal accountability FIRST is extremely important. You can't control who's interested in you but you control who you choose to entertain and why. Then the consequences of those choices should teach you things.
Sometimes people waste too much time on one person. Five ten fifteen years then it's over.
Thank you! I just said it in another comment. It is mostly black men though, they will have a woman wait for over 5 years before marrying her. What for? If you can be with someone for 5 years, then you could have married her 3 years prior to the 5 year mark. Not to mention those 10 or 15 year wait on one person. I personally will not wait more than 2 years. After too years I am ending the relationship and I will not change my mind. To me dating is like a job interview and probationary period, if you don't like what you got, then move on.
@@shaunacoleman3306 I was married to a BM and we were engaged about 3 years after dating. We we married 1.5 years later. I will say that black men see their dads not married to their mothers and see this as acceptable. After so many years they are just comfortable with the person but if a woman comes along, they fall in love quick and may marry her. It's really hard. I realize now most black men are broken and too emotional. Their family dynamic is probably to blame
@@karenlai8320 I agree that the family dynamic is partially to be blamed. However, as we move through life it is up to us to change the bad things we saw our parents do.
@@shaunacoleman3306 so true.
Everything is situation dependent. Everyone has to take responsibility for their own situation. It’s your choice to stay in a relationship or get out. Don’t blame the other person for not committing to you. Blame yourself for not spelling out to your partner what your boundaries are and get out as soon as the boundary has passed. 1 year, 2 years whatever it is. Itt takes 2 to make a crap relationship especially if you stay in it too long.
I got married at 33. I wish and prayed and hoped it was sooner. My parents were at fault. They raised us as perfect kids and we were but they made associations with men bad and as a lack of focus. We are African immigrants and it was all about education and no boyfriends. Suddenly, we were pushing 30 then they started to cry and ask us where our men were. I didn’t know how to relate to men at all or use my femininity to attract guys. I was an awkward church going virgin who thought when the time was right, God would send him. Grateful I found my hubby. I will not do this to my daughter.
I'm an awkward church girl as well. I have only ever dated one man at my age. I know that I do not have a bad attitude because I always get complimented about my temperament wherever I go. Even at work men and women think that I am married because of the way I carry myself. I have never been married. I just hope that I can meet a man who understands me. Hopefully someone who has also been in church for a long time and is like me😂
@@shaunacoleman3306 , people always complimented me on my behavior and it was the highest honor for our parents but when it came to finding partners, we had no way to relate to them. No one taught us how. It’s a double edged sword. Letting your girls know when they become of age that if this is important to them,they should know how it works, will get them far. Hope you get your heart’s desire.
Super common. All of them then want grandchildren when their kids are single and have been forever. Then they end up baby mamas. Every single bloody time.
Women are strong and independent from men during the good times and the best of times. So, women, be strong and independent from men during the bad times and the worst of times. Problem solved.
Chili is 53
Because it is for man to find wife! Women just have to position themselves to be found. The idea of creating idol you claim you want is far from having standards. It is chasing shadows...
Thank you! What we're witnessing in real time is people cutting TMHG out of the equation. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but there will be zero excuses on that great & fearful day!
These strong black women don't need no man. 😅. Man better off just being content with the Lord and walking peacefully
@@Shaolin91z
That's what women are doing by decentering men in their lives. We're talking about the nonexistent unicorn some of these women are holding out for - for whatever reason.
You don’t see that happy smiling black anymore now you get the width washy
@@Shaolin91z that's right! We do not NEED a man. The only man I need is Christ. I WANT a man. There is a difference. God did not put me on this earth with a functioning brain and body for me to not be able to live without a man. It's a nice to have, not a must have.
DATING OUTSIDE YOUR RACE AS WELL.
I MARRIED A WHITE MAN
Can we STOP shaming and generalizing women who are older, unmarried and don’t have kids? Everyone’s story is different. Sometimes it’s just as simple as not meeting a man worthy of the lifelong commitment.
Additionally:
Look at how high the divorce rate is! That is proof alone that it’s good and necessary to enter into marriage with some intention and understanding. SO MANY women have kids for one man, married and divorced one and are back outside dating. That is CHAOTIC. Better to marry later once than have multiple spouses due to divorce 🤷🏾♀️
No that's the problem they should have been shamed a long time ago they would have had different results
That's simply not going to happen. Doesn't matter what their story is, men will not want them. Men will always question why a woman is 40 and single. That's just the way it is. Most Black kids, 75%, are born to single mothers, so when dealing with kids, they are undesirable women. As long as Black people, particularly BW, avoid the facts, people will judge their actions.
It’s different for women who don’t want marriage or children but the women who wanted that and have not achieved that after 40, the question is WHY? It is important for woman to know what not to do if they want marriage so this discussion is essential for them. Most of the time it really is because the woman has not taken true accountability in her life and instead makes up excuses as to why she is still single rather than looking inward and realizing that it was her all along.
Modern women live from the ego! They say things like,” I haven’t found a man worthy of my time.”
When a woman can put her ego to the side and live from her heart , it is easier to find and truly connect with the masculine and keep him.
@@Liyahw2326 Maybe for some women, sure, but what you describe is not always the case. Relationships break up for a myriad of reasons and time waits for no one. Sometimes the man a woman likes doesn’t like her as much and vice versa. Again, how many women who married young are 40 years old and divorced? I see never married at 40 as better than divorced at 40. Marriage requires maturity, compatibility and commitment. It’s not an easy thing to find. Everyone has a different path in this life. God bless all🙏🏾
@@LadyK007 I agree it is not always the case but it is a large enough percentage that it should be discussed amongst the community not swept under the rug. I used to hate the modern woman bashing but when I truly opened my eyes and took accountability for myself and actions , I saw how much I was hindering myself. I am one of the women who truly turned my life around after taking accountability and been in a loving marriage for 7 years. I would have never been able to get out of my old ways had I not stopped blaming outside influences.
Most men want a family
The problem is that modern women are not listening to what men want. BW want to be happy but can't stand another BW being happy. BW call Simone Biles a pick me and bash her, but celebrate Ciara for getting a Russell Wilson now it's #couplesgoals. For all the Boss Babe, Pretty Privilege, Sprinkle Sprinkle and I'm not settling all while sabotaging yourself to save face for a sisterhood that don't want you to be happy. The saddest sight to see is 40 - 50+ aged women on social media thirst trapping on IG and OF in competition with these young girls in Sexy Reds generation.
What's the problem with Ciara?
@@cjojay Nothing. Just like nothing is wrong with Simone but everyone calls her a pick me? They are both BW that found happiness but in the eyes of the sisterhood Simone is viewed lesser than Ciara for some unapparant reason. Any BW that calls another BW a pick me is a loser.
@@martez5455 It's because Simone's husband called himself "the prize," which he is, because he's a man. The Sisterhood has a problem with BM confidence... We're supposed to feel inferior like they do... which is why they have continued to launch this 60 year campaign of misandry and propaganda against us.. They are intent on making us feel as bad and as low as they do, so that we won't realize our privilege and reclaim our dominance in the world. It's a diabolical and sinister plot that recall the biblical story of the fallen angel from heaven who made it his mission to turn God's children against him.
@@cjojay she's trash.
@@martez5455You are also not listening to what BW want too. How about you stop gossiping with women or better still stop interfering in women affairs and go talk to those men that actually are builders?
Ladies, 🤓 find a man that truly loves and cares about you 😮 for better or worse 😏
Easier said than done. These women want superhero billionaires.
Are we not making this seem like an issue only black women face? Western women are generally marrying later in life. You want to marry a good man, the right man, not just a man.
BW are way less married than women of other races. 20-25% of BW between the ages of 18 and sixty five are married. It’s an epidemic that has negative ripple effects that create death and destruction when BW have children out of wedlock and remain unmarried.
Exactly! Some of these men who are complaining that women are picking are the ones every woman should be running from. They are hurt that women don’t want them, but they don’t know how to treat a woman good. Why should we settle for them?
BW statistically have the lowest marriage rates of any demographic. So while the case can be made dating and longterm relationships are under the microscope right now in Western society, that doesn’t move the goalpost away from the painful reality BW maintain the lowest marriage prospects; what is it, something like only 1 in 4 projected to marry in their lifetime? Sounds more like rather than face an uncomfortable truth directly, you’re trying to deflect the problem to all women to lighten the directness of the blow? But is that productive if the point is helping BW address a problem specific to their demographic
Finally someone with sense! Some comments here think we should take a man and do what he wants...that's not how it works. I think "lower your standards" is another word for "just give toxic guys a chance" . Nah, everyone deserves the best and shouldn't settle for anything less
@@shaunacoleman3306you don't have to. But give the average man that has a stable career and morals a chance. These are the guys you women look over to get your supposedly dream man.
BW have to stop looking for a perfect man, period. Find a suitable partner that meets the IMPORTANT traits. Height, how he dresses, etc. and other unimportant things should be workable
They are not going to stop and this will not change. They don’t feel that they need a man, so they have these standards. If they needed a man, they would have different standards.
None of this is complex...you women have the unique ability to consider all sides of and issue and yet are unable to come to any decision....you refuse to accept the truth that all decisions have a downside....you have a fairytale belief that there is a decision that has no consequences of obligation.....something that's all to your benefit without any obligation on your part...something for nothing....you need a decision maker for you....a husband...
Here's the thing.
Why are women looking for a man?
No woman should be looking for a husband, that is not a woman's role.
People can say what they'd like on this, but nothing has changed. People are pushing things that should not be, that is the problem!
There is an old saying - Women control access to sex but men control access to commitment and relationships. Not 100% true but true more often than not. A man must convince a woman for sexual access. But the woman must convince that man that it's in his best interests to marry her. And it's very apparent that fewer and fewer young men nowadays have an interest in marriage.
Thanks Lord for your salvation
Thanks Lord for your peace
Psalm 95
TY. Always tell some of my female friends and family, it's not you're job to look for a man. The man is suppose to find you. And I totally agree that that is the problem. When YOU look for a man, YOU are looking for trouble.
So if the man that the woman wants doesn't find her, what does she do?
@@antoinewarren8869 HE who finds a Wife, finds a good thing, Proverbs 18:22. This is the order of things. It did not say She, it said He. She does nothing.
I once was present at a teacher seminar and was placed at a table with all white women and one hispanic woman. All of them were in their 20s and a few in their early 30s married to men of varying professions, from carpenters to plumbers. When asked why isn't their experience similar for Black women, the collective response was Black women often don't make marriage during their early or mid twenties a priority. They commented of knowing many excellent available Black men, but Black women just weren't interested. Black women they commented prioritized career and money 💰 or lasting relationships.
I think what helps to is if both the men and women of that culture values marriage and understands the benefit of building together. Knowing a few bm that are ready certainly does not speak for the whole group. Growing up and seeing marriage as the norm helps. This whole argument can be made for bm as well.
The numbers show something else: 90% of Black women are overweight and 60% are obese. 34% have children outside of marriage. THIS is why they can't get good men, because the vast majority of desirable men don't want overweight, obese or baby mamas. Hispanic women are close to Black women, but the ones who aren't overweight/obese and baby mamas deem themselves 'Spanish' and thus are 'White'.
We have to face the facts and be honest. Don't get overweight, and then if you are, lose it in your 20s; don't be a baby mama...you then are as good as older generations of Black women who were able to marry good men.
i think the reason why they concentrate more on career and money is that a large population of them were raised by single mothers so they have never had the privilege of being taken care of by a man they dont know what that is so they only know that they have to make things happen for themselves and unfortunately this eats up their productive years in terms of settling down and child bearing so the difrrence with black women and other races is that they have a struggle that is diffrent from women in other races
They have lowered expectations and being married does not mean you are happy, fulfilled, or content....Also, how did they look, basic Becky's get married earlier becasue they age harder and they have to lock down a man before they are golden girls at 33... This is why they get married earlier... Black, however does not crack....
@@r.walker7986 Black cracks quite often, and even if it never did, why don't non-Black men want uncracked BW? Maybe because 90% are overweight and 60% are obese, or 34% have children outside of marriage.
The "Basic White Chick" is still more desired than the 'Basic Black Woman". They don't have 'lowered expectations', they're just realistic in what they can get. The 'best' women of any race can afford to have high bars for men because they are at the high bar at women. Typical women of any race don't get fantastic men.
WW don't just 'get married earlier, they get married more often. Nobody argued that 'marriage equals happiness', but if that's the case, why do unmarried BW seem so angry and sad?
Your videos are so insightful, realistic and necessary. As a 26 year old black woman, it’s so important to hear this and keep it in mind when I’m dating/doing life. Ive never really cared about a man’s height and superficial things as long as he’s a man of God but still, soooo insightful.
Thank you so much! 💜
If I were you I would care. You don’t want to end up with a man that will make you the breadwinner and a mule. Why would you want to settle for any man that you are not physically attracted to just to have a man?
Omg!! Married or Single don't let this world & society define you or your happiness. Over 40?? never married, no children, no problem!! Live life to the fullest because life is short!!
no kids no husband...get a cat.....move to china with those left over women.....be happy for not submitting....lol
Hellloooo - I don't feel I missed a dang thing but misery, BS, etc! I don't want to be stitched to anyone anymore!!! I just wanted normal, kind, caring. That was too hard to find back in my day. I made it to 69 without going thru the disappoint of divorce and watching a husband chase younger women, cheating etc. I wish we wouldn't push this narrative of having missed our. During my 20/30's, I wasn't capable of marriage bcz I'd seen too much. I made it out and I am living my best life. I do love to be alone. I have friends. I'm a creative. I do consulting work, read, and rest. I'm living my best life and realize I'm very lucky
Whatever makes you sleep at night
@@certifiedg7927 It's not about what makes me sleep, it's about feeling gratitude and understanding the meaning of peace and of serving God who wakes me up each day, who loves me, and who has protected and provided for me.
Until women conquer and control resources you will always get defined
My dad said you can be happy or be married cant have both.
Damn.
That's unfortunate. I'd choose happiness every time, and I'm married.
And those are the type of men that should stay single.
I have both.
If you are a mega actress or singer, you sacrifice time for your career. Time to invest in a relationship and raising kids. When you want something bad enough, you put focus and effort into it. Most people can’t balance a career with family life. That’s why the top billionaires are divorced. That’s why many powerful men have been married multiple times.
I agree. You have to prioritize what you truly want.
The same women who have these high standards and long laundry list of what they expect of a man are the same women that give Pookie a baby.
they care nothing about any of those things they claim they want when any jerk dangles what they see as a "good" penis before them, they only sing the so-called standards saying it's for who they wanna be with long term. Maximum pleasure even with some pain is their only standard for those they sleep and make those babies with..., make babies with jerks, then look for Jack for your so-called something long-term, Smarties!
A lot of those women have no kids now, and still single. What’s up?
@@dazzlingdae A man's value is his income. A woman's value is her beauty. More than likely she don't look good, that is why she is single. I don't like big girls. That is what's up!
@@dazzlingdaeThey are past their physical prime!!
It’s obvious to men, why can’t women see it?
Because their feelings over power their logical and reasonable thinking when it comes to relationships.
Very good point made regarding older black women thinking they still have time just because they look good for their age. I know quite a few women like this. They’re smart, successful, and they look good (for their age), but even though they’re pushing 40, they still have the dating standards of their 20s. It seems beauty can be a gift AND a curse, a gift because of the obvious social benefits, but, a curse if a woman believes her beauty alone guarantees positive outcomes in dating. Pride comes before the fall, and sadly there’s a lot of women who will one day wake up and realize “they’re beautiful, but they blew it”.
A very high proportion of black women are single mothers.
Looking good for your age doesn't change the aging that goes on in your body... it doesn't change your fertility decline nor does it extend "the benefit of doubt" that is the hallmark of leverage for younger women. What are we doubting or want to doubt? The possibility that she can be a heartless 304.
You can always tell their age after 40. Hands, feet, eyes show. Also personality. Women should not be deceived. Looking good for your age is a nice compliment to a woman. It doesn't mean she's young, it means she's attractive.
@@idomalion6167 But why on earth is it bad if an observer can tell that these women are over 40. What's wrong with being able to tell, everybody could tell they were young when they were in their youth but it didn't work for them did it? (reasons not withstanding) so maybe the other side of life will be good, there's still life after 40. The unfortunate thing is we peddle this myth that youth is a woman's currency but let me ask you this:
How many well behaved, grounded practical women walk out of their youth with something of value and without regrets.?
There are not enough of the men women actually want to go around and most women would rather be alone, have an alternate lifestyle or just keep option open then to tether themselves to a man beneath what they want. That is misery. Women are not like men and most will not be content or satisfied with just having someone to say they have someone. That's what men cant grasp becasue men can't build the kind of community or create the same intimacy with others the way women can so when me are alone, they are way more alone then women.
I dont know how women are losing value as they age yet demanding more from the dating market. Seems counterintuitive. 😊
They've gotta find a way to justify their L's
Modern women have made lists 📃 of impossible rules & demands that are impossible for anyone to reach simply, so that when they end up buying a 🐶 and dying alone 🪦..........They can blame men for not living up to their standards
Right!!!
It’s because they always see themselves as the prize
A lot of never married women, Black and otherwise, live their lives in denial and cope. So as they age, they tell themselves certain things and ignore others. They tell themselves that they've waited so long, they just can't settle now. And to settle would force them to face a very inconvenient unpleasant truth - that they are nowhere near as desirable or entitled as they thought they were and they spent the past forty plus years living a lie. I think psychologically few people can just face up and accept that. It's much easier to ignore it and tell yourself comfortable lies that you are a real catch, you have standards, and you know your "worth".
No men want 40+ year old women long term
Ridiculous. I got married at 51.
@@natashadickson4819 you got lucky
Thats a hude lie, maybe black men but my aunty remarried at 43 and were African. The new husband spoils her soo much.
Speak for yourself😂
@@KyraLynch-v6r that's male nature.
Singleness is also a gift from God. Not everyone is going to be paired up. It just means that their minds and hearts aren't on worldly/carnal matters, and they've chosen to dedicate their lives to Godly servitude. Let us be mindful of how we speak about others who live alternative lifestyles, especially when it's of obedience & sacrifice to God. Thank You for posting this Sis.🙏🏾💝
God's standard is singleness and celibate, so I hear you but let's be honest how many of these women are doing that?, God never said singleness was a gift from him, why would he Institute marriage as soon as Adam was made.
@@ndidindekwu4574
I cannot speak for anyone else, only for myself, but God is the standard of how we should live and conduct ourselves. What we're seeing now are people who have chosen to use their freewill and live life on their own terms. Times are changing as always and more and more women are decentering men and choosing celibacy and a singlehood lifestyle. Like I've said not everyone is going to be married for whatever reason, regardless of Adam & Eve or Isaac & Rebekah and that's fine. Let's also remember Psalm 1:1-6. Blessed are them who do not walk in the council of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers, but delights in the law of the Lord. 🙏🏾
@@Tigerlily_FreshBeautiful well said!!!
@@ndidindekwu4574 Did you noticed that she avoided your question? Did you also notice that she said that she can only speak on her behalf, yet, hasn't done that at all?🤣😂
@@milanC4659 How does she know that people who are single have dedicated their lives to Godly servitude? What percentage of single people have done this? I have questions from previous comments that she hasn't answered
Love black ladies !!!!
Women stop listening to the entertainment industry and wanna be celebrities. Read the book
Great Video!!
You have a one percent chance of having a child at 50.
Women spend a lot of time making bad decisions, not mistakes. Think wrong , you do wrong
Well drop pride and respect whatever God has granted you stop competing with men they are the heads ✌️🇰🇪
40’s means the train has left the station, marriage is a gathering of assets, building a family, lineage and offspring for a more successful future generation. The later aged single BW and BM are not looking to divide their wealth, success, or peace of mind in a fairytale not yet obtained.
This situation is nothing new, and it was predicted...very predictable.
When I was living in the dorms on campus, the fellas talked about how most of y'all were going to stay out in the Game have your fun getting yourselves d**ked out (young boys call it ran through now), that most would seek a different type of dude to settle you down.
Back during the 80s, we said women would look to settle down in their 30s (young boys call it 35 and ready to settle down).
We used to say it's when your Fine was on the Decline, and after you gotten yourselves knocked up, used and played, then you would start looking to settle down.
Like clockwork, that's exactly what women tried doing, and we didn't marry them, just like the younger generation of capable men aren't looking to marry most of you women when your Fine is on the Decline.
This situation is just repeating itself now like it did the older generation of women way before social media.
Don't take offense, but that is what we said back then.
Accountability doesn't exist to most of these women just say the easy answer and blame it on the men smh
It's because she's unwilling to make the changes necessary to accommodate what she wants. They're gonna die old maids because they've got money & don't see the value of having a man play a serious role in their lives. Unrealistic expectations yield unfulfilled dreams.
Men I’ve attracted: 1. A physical abuser that I knew in high school. 2. A non-committal college educated 3. A recently released felon who’s a drunk driver.
I’m shy and introverted. Sometimes it’s just not in the cards for some women.
Why do you think you attract such types?
At least your safe now and don't have to put up with any of that. Every cloud has a silver lining. 🌥🌈
Have you searched for and acquired effective social skills? Have you searched for and acquired long term relationship skills? Do you know exactly what type of man you really want and how to position yourself to get him? Are you taking any accountability for your behavior within all of your relationships? Honestly, you are NOT the victim you present yourself to be 💯
At no time in history old women/modern women were desired for marriage/motherhood in the eyes of virtually ALL marriage minded family oriented men!!
BW keep making suitable BM compete with an unrealistic list of standards. Can we discuss the root of where these standards for husbands come from?
BW think they are all 10’s, overvalue themselves in the sexual marketplace and think they deserve the men at the top
It is my hope to discuss the root cause as well.
we still relationship shaming in 2024
The "Prince Charming" fairy tale is just that, a Fairy Tale
Disney messed up peoples Minds.
Thanks Lord for your salvation
Thanks Lord for your peace
Psalm 91. Psalm 95. Didn't watch the video
Amongst other unpleasant deterents (excessively disputatious, uncooperative etc..), modern black women see marriage as a "Tour of Duty." I say, "Leave them to their fate, and let them be instructive examples for our future generations.
Overweight too. Over 50 60 is crazy and they think that heavily pre Loved box has value😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
You can't get to a goal when you don't know the facts and what that means
If more black women dated out, they would have way better chances of being married. Good topic!
We have to be honest right now. Black women are the least desired women in the world, according to what men consider desirable. Black women would have to compete against other races of women to get the men .
They can layup next to they birkin bag
Just like there are many single black women, there are many single black men out here as well. I'm one of them. And just like chilli, our standards and being selfish are a few reasons why we remain single. Do I get lonely sometimes? Absolutely. However Taking care of myself is more important than settling on someone who ill probably flake on down the line. If the one is out there, then she will come around. If not, I can't be upset with anyone else but myself.
I might get canceled for this comment, but in my opinion anyone who reaches their 40th birthday and has never been married has failed on 1 plateau or another.
Can you elaborate.
Because alot of men don't want marriage
Failed? If that person had a good career and a good life, I don't see failure...it's hard to meet someone who is worth your time and its better to stay single than in a toxic relationship
@@pazumii Anyone who's ever been married knows 1 thing, marriage is all about settling......When a man loves a woman, he gets down on 1 knee looks her in her eyes and asks will you settle for me for the rest of your life, in reply she says of course I'll settle for you....People who for some reason/ another can't settle down with 1 person end up like that feather from Forrest Gump constantly floating from 1 person to another.
@@DeeDaKaang1 When that man gets down on one knee what he is really saying is this - I'm willing to settle for you. Are you willing to settle for me?
@@moleahy6880😏 Isn't that what I just said???
The clock is ticking.
This is just my opinion as a BLACK MAN most BLACK WOMEN will choose to be a baby mama 1st then desire a marriage later in life. Black women have to be realistic black women some don’t desire marriage because some black women just to shack & dip & unfortunately black women of quality have to pay because some black women that have self esteem dignity & standards has to suffer🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾👑
It’s really not that hard.
By the time the guys become economically attractive to certain women, those men now find the women age inappropriate for a relationship.
If our black women will stay and build with the man in his early years, he will be with them when they are age appropriate for a relationship.
My two cents.
Can we agree that most of us got married because it was the cultural expectation.
Many could've done really well on our own especially without kids. thinking it's time we notice the damage this kind of thinking does to us.
She probably wanted to be married, thats cool but would she have stayed married.
I wanted to be...is okay in every facet partly because we want to meet goals and get influenced by peer pressure expectations
I don't eat pork
Unlikable.
I agree but let’s say you did marry a good guy in your 20’s and you guys spent 20years together. He decided to up and leave , now you’re 40. The woman got married early and made the right choice . Now she’s 40 and took time to heal for like 4years. So where do she stand ? Hopefully they want says she’s damaged goods because she’s older now. I’ll just say this, nothing is guaranteed. You just have to really have God on your side . You have some men will take all your years.
I'd take a woman married 20 years and the relationship ended over a 40+ year old chic who's been in the streets jumping from bed to bed with more bodies than the predator
I support this message ❤🎉
I've been married for almost nineteen years and I can tell you that a successful long term marriage is based primarily on three things - shared values, shared goals, and mutual respect. My wife introduced me to this channel and we couldn't be more different. We are both in our late 40's now but I am a European WM and she is an American BW. So not only a racial difference but a vast cultural difference. But our marriage has worked because we have those three values. The first woman in this video who is demanding a "husband" who is gorgeous, a non smoker and drinker, and who doesn't eat pork is not looking for a husband at all. What she is looking for is an idea. Her idea of what would be the perfect man. Highly unlikely she has even considered the shared values, goals, and respect. So even if she managed to find this man and he was willing to marry her, it's highly unlikely this would be a successful union. Until and unless she changes her thinking, it's a toss up as to what would be better for her - to never marry OR to marry older and end up divorced. I'd say to never marry.
Very well said...thank you sharing those 3 things and your experience. My husband and I will celebrate our first year of marriage in May and this 3 things you mentioned are key. My prayer is to have a successful, healthy, long and fruitful marriage. 🥰🥰🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@patrese25 Congratulations and best wishes!
@@patrese25 Interesting how his post and the one that just said "Great video" are the only posts that the content creator "smiled" at. That Brad validation is the Holy Grail.
@@KtotheG oh, I didn't realize that
@@moleahy6880 Thank you! 😊