I love that you're taking action to address something your child has alerted you to! Nicely done! It sounds like you're doing some wonderful analyzation, which is a step in the right direction.
For me. It doesn't matter how calm my voice is. I have one particularly defiant child that screams this high pitch scream because he knows it hurts my ears. An if I stop talking and walk away they follow me. I continue to try to talk calm and the cycle continues.
What great memories of your father! I love that he used a calm voice. It really is so helpful! And it's something that lots of people struggle with right now. If you or anyone else you know might benefit from a really awesome, free resource, I have a Calm Parenting Toolkit for people to use. teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/ Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I'm so sorry to hear that! If you'd like a free resource to help with calmness, feel free to look into my Calm Parenting Toolkit. teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/ I hope that helps!
Blessings! I am a single mom of 4 and struggling. This house is crazy and I find myself yelling A LOT! My 6y/o now yells when he’s upset. I really need guidance but funds are low right now. I don’t know what to do at this point. Any advice would help.
Wow I only have two and I'm always in panic You are amazing to have 4 and researching what to do your going to do well following her advice this is golden .. I wish you the very best your goi g to make it
Hello 🙂 I'm just curious how you're doing now? I have one grandson I watch while his momma works, and he's a handful lol I'm grateful to have found these videos.
When I started trying to be calm... when I would take a step back from one of my screaming children or go outside take a breath or pray. They follow me. Screaming, throwing themselves down, crying. I can't get away. When that happens I usually loose it. If I'm not naturally a calm person how do I avoid essentially acting like a toddler and having a freak out moment? 😢
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
Sorry for the late response! That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
Great question! When I say "take it personally," I mean that a lot of people think selfishly and see disobedient behavior as infringing on personal activities or time. If you're analyzing disobedient behavior and seeing that it's coming from a lack of parenting in a certain area, that's great! That means you're thinking outside of yourself instead of about yourself, which is a step in the right direction. It's important to analyze oneself and make necessary adjustments.
I have a 15 year old that hits me and it's the walls and tries to run away he has autism they put him on medication and put him in facilities and he came out even worse I don't know what to do do you have any advice before he comes home he is going to be saying there for 3 months he could not accept consequences I have your book and I've been with your courses but it's not working I need to learn how to save more calm but it's hard when he's not calm and he is saying bad words to me and hitting me what do I do
If you can't learn to stay calm he never will. I've found with my autistic daughter that the calmer I am sometimes the worse she gets but I have to remind myself she's testing me. She wants to see if I really meant it when I said I want to change and do better and stick to going to my calming spot and not lose it on her. It takes a lot of practice and patience but I knew if I kept failing at keeping my word that I was going to work on staying calm that my daughter would not only never trust me but never learn to be calm herself. (She curses too just to try to ruin a good moment or try to trigger me to loose control and start screaming just like I said I wouldn't be doing anymore) I pray you and your son's relationship can heal. I'm still on the long road of recovery with my daughter. Good luck to you 💜
Yupp, supposed to be learned in childhood but most of us don’t learn this till later in life! This new generation of parents are taking notice and starting to teach our children actual life skills!
I was with you until you started regurgitating that coersive and abusive line of teaching that emotions don’t lead to truth but to bondage. There’s a lot of science that explains how and why this is false and harmful. Brene Brown has a lot of helpful insight as to how and why that’s the case. Check out Atlas of the Heart. Bye.
Sorry for the late response! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Contrary to your statement, I do believe that there is truth that comes from our emotions, but that it isn't smart to analyze a situation through the emotional lens. It's very important to acknowledge them and see that they are valid, but the most help and resolution to problems come when we look at troubling situations through an analytical lens, which engages our prefrontal cortex ("front brain", which is responsible for our problem solving). If we analyze through our emotions, we are choosing to stay in "back brain", which muddies the logical processing. I hope that cleared things up.
What I Learned as a Foster Parent: ruclips.net/video/7J3_GTSa1DA/видео.html What Does It Take To Be A Foster Parent?
You deserve to win an award for your advice all of this works I used it and wow 👌
Thank you mam. I watched this coz my 6 year old told me . I dont like it when you are loud.
I love that you're taking action to address something your child has alerted you to! Nicely done! It sounds like you're doing some wonderful analyzation, which is a step in the right direction.
I believe that calm talking really does work because when I think of each time my father spoke to me it didn’t take much and I did listen every time
For me. It doesn't matter how calm my voice is. I have one particularly defiant child that screams this high pitch scream because he knows it hurts my ears. An if I stop talking and walk away they follow me. I continue to try to talk calm and the cycle continues.
What great memories of your father! I love that he used a calm voice. It really is so helpful! And it's something that lots of people struggle with right now. If you or anyone else you know might benefit from a really awesome, free resource, I have a Calm Parenting Toolkit for people to use.
teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I'm so sorry to hear that! If you'd like a free resource to help with calmness, feel free to look into my Calm Parenting Toolkit.
teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/
I hope that helps!
4 Basic skills
1. Following Instructions
2. Accepting no answers and criticism
3. Accepting consequences
4. Disagreeing appropriately
You're 100% correct! Great notes!
Nickly I love you, I wish I found you earlier to have those skills, my 6 years son start to progress. Than you
EXCELLENT DROP THE SUBJECT YES YES YES LET IT GO LET IT GO...💕💜🙏🙏🙏
Thank you
You're welcome!
Blessings! I am a single mom of 4 and struggling. This house is crazy and I find myself yelling A LOT! My 6y/o now yells when he’s upset. I really need guidance but funds are low right now. I don’t know what to do at this point. Any advice would help.
I think you'd like to try the free Calm Parenting Toolkit. It isn't the whole program, but it's a start and it's free. teachingselfgovernment.com/
Wow I only have two and I'm always in panic
You are amazing to have 4 and researching what to do your going to do well following her advice this is golden .. I wish you the very best your goi g to make it
Hello 🙂
I'm just curious how you're doing now? I have one grandson I watch while his momma works, and he's a handful lol I'm grateful to have found these videos.
Thank you so much! So much valuable information!
You are so welcome!
When I started trying to be calm... when I would take a step back from one of my screaming children or go outside take a breath or pray.
They follow me. Screaming, throwing themselves down, crying. I can't get away. When that happens I usually loose it. If I'm not naturally a calm person how do I avoid essentially acting like a toddler and having a freak out moment? 😢
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too!
If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope this helps!
This is great
Great 👍 video.
Glad you enjoyed it!
What happens when I didn’t do all this Pre work? When things are bad and I need corrective measures in place?
Sorry for the late response! That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too!
If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope this helps!
How can you not take it personally when you realize the way they are acting is because you have been lacking in a parenting area? (Asking seriously)
Great question! When I say "take it personally," I mean that a lot of people think selfishly and see disobedient behavior as infringing on personal activities or time. If you're analyzing disobedient behavior and seeing that it's coming from a lack of parenting in a certain area, that's great! That means you're thinking outside of yourself instead of about yourself, which is a step in the right direction. It's important to analyze oneself and make necessary adjustments.
Can you tell me where you put that free tool for parents to learn to be calm in the moment
Its in the description under the video
Sure!
teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/
I have a 15 year old that hits me and it's the walls and tries to run away he has autism they put him on medication and put him in facilities and he came out even worse I don't know what to do do you have any advice before he comes home he is going to be saying there for 3 months he could not accept consequences I have your book and I've been with your courses but it's not working I need to learn how to save more calm but it's hard when he's not calm and he is saying bad words to me and hitting me what do I do
Oh man hope things are going better for you
If you can't learn to stay calm he never will. I've found with my autistic daughter that the calmer I am sometimes the worse she gets but I have to remind myself she's testing me. She wants to see if I really meant it when I said I want to change and do better and stick to going to my calming spot and not lose it on her. It takes a lot of practice and patience but I knew if I kept failing at keeping my word that I was going to work on staying calm that my daughter would not only never trust me but never learn to be calm herself. (She curses too just to try to ruin a good moment or try to trigger me to loose control and start screaming just like I said I wouldn't be doing anymore) I pray you and your son's relationship can heal. I'm still on the long road of recovery with my daughter. Good luck to you 💜
adult skills
Yupp, supposed to be learned in childhood but most of us don’t learn this till later in life! This new generation of parents are taking notice and starting to teach our children actual life skills!
Kid named belt:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I was with you until you started regurgitating that coersive and abusive line of teaching that emotions don’t lead to truth but to bondage. There’s a lot of science that explains how and why this is false and harmful. Brene Brown has a lot of helpful insight as to how and why that’s the case. Check out Atlas of the Heart.
Bye.
Sorry for the late response! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Contrary to your statement, I do believe that there is truth that comes from our emotions, but that it isn't smart to analyze a situation through the emotional lens. It's very important to acknowledge them and see that they are valid, but the most help and resolution to problems come when we look at troubling situations through an analytical lens, which engages our prefrontal cortex ("front brain", which is responsible for our problem solving). If we analyze through our emotions, we are choosing to stay in "back brain", which muddies the logical processing.
I hope that cleared things up.
Omg! Too much info, she gave me headache.
I'm sorry to hear that! Maybe just take it one section at a time. :)