I did watch all the way to the end, and I just wanted to give you a big virtual hug. I've been watching your channel for a while and have been amazed by your output playing the games in the contests. I do some playtesting in the solo design contests, but I just comment in the threads, and I only playtest a fraction of the games you do. I just stumbled across this video two years late, so I don't know how relevant my comments will be now, but here goes anyway. I hope you're at peace with being in your thirties now. I remember how painful it was for me to turn 30 and 40, but oddly, turning 50 and 60 were great. So for me, at least, that did get better, and I hope it will for you too. But mostly I wanted to say how impressed I am with how your generation is normalizing mental illness. I admire it in my own children, who are about ten years older than you. Both my husband and I have family histories of mental illness going back generations, and we were taught that it was shameful and a deep dark secret. But our kids are determined to break that cycle. It's so much healthier to shine a light than have deep dark secrets. This video is such a gift. It must have hard to make, but the truth really can set you free. I've found that when I've been up front about my own struggles (mostly brain damage from a stroke that makes it hard for me to read and understand the rulebooks of the games I'm playtesting) people have been really kind and understanding. The solo boardgaming community is one of the best. ❤
What a brave, honest, and relatable video. As someone who has struggled with anxiety all of my life and only recently sought out help, I appreciate your openness. I realize this post is 2 years old but just wanted to give you my support. I hope things are going well for you Livi.
Just discovered you yesterday by your 4AD videos and I just saw this and had to watch. A lot of what you say resonates so much with me. Thank you for sharing and I hope you feel better. Love your content and I hope you will be releasing more soon, but above all, that you take care of yourself. It takes a lot of strength to open up like this, and I hope you feel better soon. I'm rooting for you. 🌹
Hi - I just wanted to echo the sentiments below. I've only just discovered your channel after purchasing 4AD (I'm late to the party again!) This video resonates with me on every level. Please take care of yourself and thank you.
I just turned 50, I will probably need to live until I'm 200 years old before I figure out what I want to be when I grow up, so for what it's worth...30 is a pretty good age to be.
Hi Livi! You're the BEST! Thank you so much for introducing me to 4AD and solo TT gaming - and thank you for your courage and honesty in this video! I've felt at my worst at the end of January and all throughout February, too. And I think that I have some childhood PTSD, too. Have your seen "The Crappy Childhood Fairy" here on RUclips? She's helped me a whole lot! ... Anyway, this video is two years old - so I'm going to go look on your channel for an update! Hope it's ALL GOOD NEWS! ... OH! And your BIRTHDAY is smack dab in the MIDDLE of the duldrums - on February 15th!? Well! We all need to celebrate your HALF BIRTHDAY... but that would have made it AUGUST 15th - two weeks ago! Dang. HOPE YOU HAD A VERY HAPPY HALF BIRTHDAY!!! ; D
Thank you so much for sharing that. You make awesome videos and you are so likeable! Do whatever makes you happy and feel good. To quote Baz Luhrmann in the song "Sunscreen": "... Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life The most interesting people I know Didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't Get plenty of calcium Be kind to your knees You'll miss them when they're gone.."
Thank you for your service, to strangers you barely know - it takes a special kind of bravery to talk about real mental health issues because they are so often ostracized as someone just being "flaky" or whatever which just leads to alienation, so, thank you
im right there with camus. the world is not just insane, its absurd! give meaning and joy to whatever you wish, and be true to yourself. in a crazy world, only we whacky few are truly rational. we share two things- great intelligence, and the issues which come with it. and remember, as napoleon said: courage is not having the strength to go on, courage is going on even when you have no strength. very best wishes!!!
Not only do I have anxiety and depression, but I also have OCD, PTSD, autistic spectrum disorder, and coordination and balance issues, and I also suspect a birth defect or two as well, so I know how this works. Still, with that being said, it is good to have a support system that is around you because I honestly need one in my life.
Thank you for sharing with us… I just found your channel and i understand the strength it took to make this video. My mental health issues are currently in remission, and i hope you have, or will, find the help you need. Best wishes to you!
Thanks for posting this Livi. This video illustrates that one could live a life worth living despite mental health challenges, while also acknowledging that sometimes that we must "lose the battle" to "win the war". Thanks also for all that you do. I am new to this channel but have found it to be both informative, soothing, and because of this video, a reminder of what is possible despite mental health challenges.
As the spouse of someone with similar problems you are on the right track. Those of us in a support role understand you where others may not and are puzzled. There is no cure only coping mechanisms. The chemical nature of such problems cause cyclical reoccurrence of symptoms which is something others might not understand thinking a “cure” has occurred. Hang in there… In my experience I know there are medications exist that help it take time discovering what works. We understand your plight and wish you well…
I play solo games for very similar reasons. I was 30sh when I put down the drink and drugs but I do not find solo gaming for another 20sh years. Congrats on having a path forward.
Thank you for being real with us Livi. You're not alone. You helped me and no doubt many many more. You're stronger than you imagine. And you'll make a good leader. Hopefully you'll have more fun or whatever you want in your 30s than all the decades before! :)
This just came across my feed now. I hope you found a place to check into that will/did help. I spent a month in a hospital for my mental health and discovered solo rpgs during that. You are not lazy. You are strong for surviving and having the self awareness to know that this, too, shall pass. You take whatever breaks you need as often as you need. We'll be here. 💚
This was genuine and beautiful in its own way. I would love to have you in my relaxing 4AD gaming group. I like your calmness and caring voice. Although I had a pretty fun childhood with sports, education and such, I had a geeky side that doesn’t always fit in to the classic blockheads crowd 😊. I had a mean stepdad that at times traumatized me even to today even though he now passed on. Anyway, Im with you. I like to challenge my brain best i can. Your voice is like a latenight DJ, I DJ’d weddings for 25 years. Im 51 now. I love people like you because you are the kindest type of people in the world. If there were more people like you in the world, the world would be a better place. I am from Pittsburgh and Mr. Rogers is from Pittsburgh and you remind me of him a bit sharing your feelings with your personality and that is a good thing. In closing, I really enjoy your videos so keep making them and share your intelligence, it is appreciated.
I am recently divirced and living alone for 4 months. I started to search for solo games so I can pass sometime when Im in home. Just found your channel and I want you to know that you are helping me a lot with your videos. Thank you. Be strong.
A very open, neat and honest declaration. Aside from your (not uncommon) condition, this makes your reviews even more human, and your videos more profound and your "solo adventures" more healing
Please accept my support and encouragement. This was probably quite difficult for you. I am a therapist, don't know what you're going through, but imagine outpatient work hasn't helped you enough. In-patient work is a pretty severe choice (as EMDR is usually done outpatient, for example), but I certainly want the best for you. And for what it's worth, I neither find your words "stupid" (you're very smart and articulate), nor do you look "ugly" (seem attractive to my eyes). I wish you the best.
Just stumbled over this channel. Very interesting. I hope you are doing better today. I have also been struggling life-long with mental health. I am getting into solo board gaming right now because I hope it's going keep my brain healthy. Really looking into more like narrative role-playing type stuff as play-acting is apparently really useful for healthy neuro-plasticity. If you are still struggling with existential issues and wondering what you are doing with your life you could maybe look at ACT or logotherapy. I have no experience with logotherapy but ACT is really quite good. It reframes the whole context of meaning in life to be value- instead of goal-based and has lots of useful guidelines and exercise on how to achieve this. It's also heavily incorporating mindfulness and that has helped me quite a bit to establish better mindful routines for myself. For me it also has been a form of feedback loop once I figured out that prioritizing my own health as a value in my life I want to live for is quite useful. I am not sure if mindfulness helps with your dissociative symptoms but mine have improved, I can be much more present now in stressful situation without dissociating heavily. But I was mostly dissolving in thoughts and identity into nothingness and infinite paradoxes not really away from my body.
Thanks for helping to normalize mental health awareness and the bravery for putting your own struggle out there. Folks who haven't struggled with it often don't understand that it's not an easy or quick fix. You have all the patience you need to get better. You've got this, and we'll be here.
Well said. As a lifelong sufferer of depression and anxiety, I just want to add my voice to others in saying you're not alone. Gaming has been a solace, and for me gamebooks in particular have been keeping me sane through the pandemic.
You should be very proud of what you’ve done here, of who you are. Simple words cannot convey how important this message and the example of your bravery is to others out there who may feel that they are suffering alone.
This actually made me feel hopeful that despite your struggles you've already achieved so much, and in the realm of a truly amazing community, your a true inspiration ❤
Livi, I appreciate what you do for the board game community and especially how you do it. Your calmness and professionalism make your videos special and fresh. Thanks a lot, don‘t push yourself too hard. All we want for you is to feel well and enjoy this hobby like the rest of your many, many fans.
Thank you for sharing your symptoms. You are the only other person that I’ve heard say January and February are the worst times as far as anxiety and overall mental health. Everything you are saying I relate too. Social anxiety and depression are horrible. I also have those running on both sides of the family. You are not rambling, you are making complete sense. I hope you keep making videos, don’t be embarrassed, you are super helpful!!
I realy want to say ignore the negative voice I realise this is a nine month video.. do it for you. Creating a video takes organizational. Planning time editing, money management so many positive skills. Your not on a time scale. It feels like it some times watching other channels getting prerelase stuff or Others have reviewed this before you.. but people watch for your experience. ..and only you have your experience or way to play. Be you always always be you now. You had great fun positive comment in this video , I'm not a metal health expert to say focus on those , or ignore the bad thoughts but reading the comments you've made an impact you don't need to continue, you upload privately if it helps., but be yourself under no commitment to any one ... now I'm terrible typing so sorry for that I wanted to post something .. hope your well, I never around to posting my 4ad stuff .. but loved watching your
I think everybody was glued to the end. You're very brave, and I wish I could help.. Livi, nobody's going to hold you to filming commitments. Life, work, family always should come before that. I don't know if it's any consolation, but you're not alone in finding this particular winter also more depressing than others. You explained dissociation particularly well, I've seen it in others and myself sometimes also. Vitamin d in large daily doses does help - temporarily. Plus the anticipation of two board games you sold me on (the Brambles and Dungeon Flee).. ♪
I just started watching your channel and it really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing! I hope you are doing well and I look forward to seeing new posts from you when you’re feeling up to it!❤
A SAD light for 20 min in the morning helps me a lot. Also, a therapist recommended fish oil tablets every day and that helps with my anxiety/ depression too. Fighting it takes a whole bag of tricks ❤❤❤
Hi Livi, very nice to make your acquaintance, thanks for opening up like this. I have my own issues which can be described nowadays with terms like Aspergers or ADD, and unlike you I actually had a very happy childhood with close friends playing lots of games like AD&D and board game. I am a little older, now approaching 40 and life has been getting steadily worse for me, my friends from back then all have jobs, families, children and I feel left behind, lost in nostalgia for what it used to be like for me. I find myself playing more and more solo games because the very few friends I still find time to play games with prefer (for me dry soulless) eurogames. I very much recoginize playing solo games as this way of dealing with issues, but for me also lately I find it is harder and harder to find the energy and inspiration to even set up a game, and after setting it up I am sometimes already so burned out that I will pack it up or leave in on the table for days without any urge to play on my own. For years I have been planning to open a local game store, just to provide what I mostly missed in my town, a place to meet people with the same interests as me, and people who may have a harder time socializing on their own. For me the board games really help socializing because there will be a shared activity, some topic to talk about, but otherwise I am also very socially awkward and anxious, like I would love to do what you do, or stream playing the games and socialize with chat, but there is just so much fear and I never get around to it. So good job, you did what I cannot even start and I think you are doing a great job with the channel. I wish you a lot of strength in the coming months, lets hope this winter will be different (but how can it be?).
I rarely comment on RUclips. This is the first time I see one of your videos and your words gave me shivers. I can't really begin to imagine what you're going through. I can only hope you are OK and wish you good luck! :-)
A beautifully expressed message to the world. Thanks for it and take care of yourself on your long journey ahead. Keep on solo gaming as part of your healthy routine.
Corona lockdown has been an excellent opportunity for everyone to dive into solo gaming. In my case, I’ve played 100+ hours of solo marvel champions with all its expansions. I had never thought about whether the tactile nature of shuffling cards and dealing tokens is helping me relax and disconnect more. I believe that my fascination with this game is more connected to the fact that it presents the player with a new puzzle each round that you have to solve and it can be quite involved and interesting. Anyway, it’s also interesting to learn that other people can achieve bliss by interacting with the tactile components of boardgames. I have to say I achieved bliss by listening to your eloquent voice and by seeing your beautiful face for 20 minutes :)
It took a lot of guts to make this video and I hope the other comments have given a clear sense for how profoundly grateful your audience is for who you are and what you do for the gaming community. All I would ask of you Livi is to make sure you extend yourself the same patience and grace we are all more than happy to offer. I doubt any of your audience wants to see your content come at the expense of your mental health. For anyone else reading this, I am honored to be one of the Patreon backers for Livi and Solo Adventures. I want to go on record and make it clear that my continued meager financial support is in no way tied to an expectation of a certain amount or kind of content generated, rather a simple endorsement of Livi as a person and a valued member of the board gaming community. I hope this kind of honesty and vulnerability will convince others to join me as a Solo Adventures patron who expects nothing more from it than her continued success and well-being.
Yes solo boardgaming is meditating with meeples. An instrument would also be perfect for you, it´s something that will sing with you through the worst of times. A piece of wood and string that you can struggle with, when fear closes the door on the world.
Don't sweat the small mistakes. Are you enjoying yourself? That's what is important. I enjoy your videos because whether you make mistakes or not your demonstration of how you play the game is still helpful and interesting to me. Regarding your mental health, I appreciate your honesty and you are brave to share it so openly. I hope you continue to improve and find ways to live with and overcome those obstacles.
By reading the comments of others, it seems we all had similar reactions. I appreciate your transparency, honesty and the manner in which you shared all that you experience. Though you may have feared it would turn some people away, I personally feel it will draw many closer. It is endearing when someone is able to open up as you have done. I have always loved your videos, and will look forward to seeing many more in the future--when you are ready. I have not experienced what you are feeling, but in any difficult time in my life, I am thankful for a relationship with Jesus. He is there for me 24/7 and promises to never leave or forsake me. So please don't think it cliche' when I say I will be praying for you to find peace day by day, because I truly will pray. Great job on a difficult video!!
The more people talk about their struggles with their own minds, the greater the chance of reaching another sufferers hand. This is important stuff and I hope you feel better for getting it out there. You HAVE helped someone.
Livi...do what makes you feel good and take care of yourself. If something right now makes you anxious, don't do it. Right now I'm also struggling, but I know this comes and goes. Everything will be better, you'll see.
Just watched through this on my lunch. Thank you, this couldn't have been easy for you but I hope it helped. You have a very natural was of speaking to the camera as though we are right with you, it felt very personal and beautifully honest. I hope you're doing okay.
Thank you so much for sharing! 💚 I can relate to so much of it, as I suffer from mental illness as well! I am so thankfull that this is a topic which is talked about quite open, at least in the English Board game community (can't remember someone talk about it in the German yet). Thanks for doing it! And please, take your time! I wish you all the best, may tomorrow be a better day! 🐛 🤗
Massive respect!!! You just got new subscriber. Mental health issues are becoming more than common in this mad times and at same time more people are becoming more open about this serious problem. It is important to be able to talk about it and reach out to others. Unfortunately I know something about it... Gaming it is something which definitely helps. Good luck with finding rays of sunshine in everyday situation and NEVER think about yourself badly!
I'm like 7 or 8 years in and still haven't soloed a physical board game (outside of playtesting.) I almost set up scythe 1x & have Proving Grounds sitting here unwrapped. I also kickstarted the Skytear solo tcg...gotta get that 1 to the table, if nothing else. Yeah, boardgames probably saved my life. I can't advocate for them enough. You're super-d-duper all around... serotonin be damned! Let's keep on (Galaxy) Truckin!
What a strong message to give to your community. You are awesome! I have no experience myself with what you have, but know a few that has been through a lot, and hit rock bottom. Winter depression is a real thing, and people usually do not understand. Hell, even I was questioning it at first, winter is my favorite time of the year! But then again, I grew up with skiing, bobsleding, snowboarding, builing castles in the snow, snow caves and swimming in ice water... Not everyone is so privelaged. I assosiate winter with fun times with the family, boardgaming and reading is also a part of this. Also, my birthday is in 2 days... Febuary is just the best month! (It is also the shortest!) Being over 30 doesn't matter at all, it is just a number! Bordgames are for everyone, so keep at it, and stay strong! Now I need to plow away some snow in front of the house... Cheers from Denmark/Norway
Thanks for sharing. It takes tremendous courage to share. I have the January and February issue real bad. Last year I almost was non functioning for a month. It’s awful :(
Happened to see this featured on BGG and after listening for a couple minutes I liked and subscribed. Thank you so much for your bravery and willingness to talk about this stuff. As someone who has dealt with depression and anxiety my whole life I know how hard it can be but also how helpful it is to be open about mental illness. I'm also a big solo gamer and look forward to watching the rest of your content. I'm also in my early 30's... so much to relate to! Thanks again!
@@soloadventureswithlivi1108 Hi Livi, it's actually just on the main page when I open boardgamegeek.com and scroll down. It says: Creator Spotlight and shows your channel with links to some of your videos. I'm surprised they would put that there without letting you know or getting permission.
No judgement or pressure here. 😍 A big reason I also play boardgames, especially solo, is to help with my mental health challenges. Take care of yourself FIRST - I'm sending good vibes your way!
You are so brave to do this video. You show great strength and do not think on any embarrassment. We should all talk about our mental heath including me! Love your gaming pnp. Yes I listened to the very end xxxxx
I was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts before I got into board games. While I’m also moderately introverted, the small group social interaction of board gaming helped literally saved my life. COVID has really made this rough. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep pushing forward and hope that tomorrow will be better than today.
I also what to say...so much. Thank you for all you do. You owe us nothing. We are blessed by your hard work. Thank YOU. I wish I could communicate with you more directly because I relate. And I am all alone where I am.
@@prufrock1977 Being alone about it is the hardest part! 😥 Do you have tried to find a online community to take part in? To play board games or to share other things? I hope you will find some people that can help somehow! 💚
@@Luca-kd2lx With work, studies, pandemic, and trying to find time to relax, it's just so difficult. I moved to a new town 3 years ago. Not many are into gaming, and the town is very unfriendly to outsiders...so it has been hard to adjust.
@@prufrock1977 I totaly understand! I am a stranger as. That's why I am happy that the internet gives us the possibility to meet people all over the world all the time! :) I hope it will get better for you!
I have mental illness and had also "came out of the closet" about it in my own way. Board Gaming has also been a way of coping even though its hard to teach others my games even when they're open to playing. Very anxious-ridden personally, but when I'm able get that out of the way and actually play, that's the best part. I tried to go solo play several times but it never got off the ground until COVID happened. Because of this a whole new world of board gaming opened up for me. Led me to RUclips channels like yours which I feel blessed to find :) Please do what you need to do so we can see more of your better days on here doing the hobby that you love. And like how some others have said on here, you don't owe us anything, we just want you to be your best even if you have to stop so to cope. So as the saying goes, "Sometimes we need to go back two spaces in order to go ahead three squares" (*Whatup boardgame reference 😜) You are such an inspiration, Livi 🙂
Thanks for sharing! Don’t be ashamed of telling your truth. It can help others to know they are not alone. I’m pretty much right there with you on basically all of this stuff. Trauma, drama, depression, anxiety, trying to deal with all this in unhealthy ways, now attempting more healthy coping methods, on and on and on… Also dissociation, yes, I’ve had it forever. Many times feeling like I’m watching myself from like some weird third-person perspective, distant, detached, and disconnected as I say and do stupid and strange things, and I’m just like, “Why just why…? What the hell are you doing?!” It’s great you’re trying to turn what you enjoy doing (solo gaming) into a creative/productive thing like this RUclips channel. Turn negatives into positives. It can help out and be healing in a way to create and share. Hope you're doing okay. Keep your head up, stay strong, good luck, and take care!
Great video. I have anxiety and know what it's like to hate myself for making mistakes or saying the wrong thing. You are not alone. Many of us are on our own journey to feel better. I came to solo gaming through miniature games (Blood Bowl, Malifaux, 40K) - I find that I love the models and rules interactions but hate competitive gaming. I agree these games are like puzzles with a built-in story for context and I love that. Working through the problems is engaging and fun, even if I lose the game. Crafting the cards & boards for PNP games is another awesome hobby unto itself. My wife and I are in our mid-30's and from my perspective it has been really good to us. By this age we're finally settling into hobbies which really fit us, for instance :) I hope you find the work you put into this channel and the community your are building around it to be fun. I hope you find a good balance so you continue to enjoy it and it doesn't feel like work or obligation.
You are awesome. Knowing your struggle makes everything you have done so far even more amazing. Solo gaming has been one of the few things that has made the last year of isolation more bearable. Your honesty about this came at a time that I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
Thank you so much for being willing to share with us your mental health struggles. I also struggle with anxiety and depression. Medication has been a huge help for me. Like you, I also find the tactile aspect of solo board gaming helpful. Just know you are not alone, and I believe many of your viewers appreciate and respect your honesty. Now...in to the next solo game!
I had to deal with somewhat crippling social anxiety as well all throughout high school and into university so I completely related to what you've gone through. Board games were the main driver that helped me get over this (you could say that my passion for the hobby overcame my fear of social situations) in that they broke the ice, provided a set framework for interaction and created a bridge to slowly knowing the early members of my board game group. Thanks for opening up about this. I among many others in the comments find it refreshing and brave that you're opening up about this on a social platform.
Don't know if you'll see this (as I've only just found your channel) but just wanted to say that a) you don't come across as dumb in any way and b) being this honest on the internet is really brave - but may well have helped many other people so well done. And gaming (whether solo or in groups) is a great therapy/outlet/coping mechanism so well done you for getting into it. No apologies necessary. And please don't get anxious about the channel - gamers (of any kind) are almost always nice people (it's in their genes) and we're happy to wait for good gaming content. Do it when it feels right for you and we'll be here to watch. Good luck.
Thanks for sharing. This last year has been a very tough one, and even more so for those dealing with anxiety and depression (most definitely including myself). Things are normally good, with help, but especially with everything going on in the world, we all need to take breaks and reach out for help. I'm happy you're here making videos and sharing with us, but do it on your own schedule. We'll still be here! :)
I very much hope that in the two+ weeks since this video was cut you are indeed feeling better. The days are getting longer, and brighter. Solo gaming is my primary way of playing as well- though I love playing with family and friends. But I find that after a day working online, I don't even want to watch TV or movies much- but I love taking out and handling pieces, thinking through different strategies, playin something new and different, or something I haven't taken out in a while, or maybe a game that's an old friend. I appreciate you sharing this- I think it's an important and very well stated message. Happy gaming, soon.
Thanks for sharing. I'm new to your channel, but I'd never judge anyone for having a mental illness. Congratulations on taking a giant step and opening up to your audience.
i super appreciate how honest you are, please be safe, take care of yourself, take your time, i love this channel and all the content you put out but i also can relat to some of the things you have to deal with, keep figthing the good figth, dont feel like you owe us anything and honestly i thought you were 22, dont feel old yet, wait till you're 70 ish
I just came across this video and I know that it is dated now but so many of the mental health issues you raised are similar to what I live with myself. In the last year, I have found such peace and mindfulness from solo board gaming. The tactile interaction with the game, the mental challenge of solving puzzles, so much of it has helped me to be present and that I am mentally improving from a time when I was not so good. I wish you well in your journey and want you to know that you do not travel that path alone. Peace to you.
Livi. Thank you for making this video. While I am lucky to have no (known to me :-) ) issues, I know people which does. I think it is very important to talk about mental health as I believe it can really make difference for others struggling with similar issues. Next, I completely understand you filling stupid while looking at your own videos, while I do not make youtube content (with few exceptions ;-) ), I had this feeling many times creating content for others. But from your first video (I had accidentally found you searching for something on youtube) I knew: you are nice, honest. This is something you can not fake or pretend. Later watching your reviews I also realized, that you have great insight, care about what you are doing and I agree with 95% of your conclusions. Your reviews are always interesting, great to watch. I really can not imagine I would think (what ever you would do in video), that this is stupid. So again, thank you for creating this video. And please do not care too much about schedules of video uploads, we (I am sure many would agree with me) love your videos and looking forward to watch another, but while you care about us, we also care about you and if not making video right now is what you need right now, then do take your time.
Thank you for sharing what are you strategy plans for grounding, self care and self validation. Is routine and mindfulness with exercise part of your daily activities.
It takes courage to reveal your flaws to the world. I also suffer from mental illness (my issues are more of a slow burn... I crash every few years) and I have found much comfort in board gaming for the same tactile / art / physical reasons. I tend to hoard my games... parting with them is difficult... like saying goodbye to a family member. I wish you much success with your channel and hope that you find balance in your own unique way. And, no worries, if you are honest with yourself at 30 you are way ahead of most people lol. :)
you are doing great with the videos. we appreciate all the time and effort you put in. it's important to take care of yourself also. i recognize a lot of myself and my past in your story. i hope you feel better soon.
This was very helpful for me. Thank you. I'm 61 and never thought I'd live this long since my dad died at 44. That year was very hard on me. I was raised at a time when mental illness was taboo and at times it's hard to deal with even to this day. With more people being open to mental health that stigma is lessened but I want you to know that your videos help me to deal with my issues. So keep up the good work and thanks for trusting enough to share.
You are amazing and brave for bringing your personal voice to this important topic, thank you! Please don't be ashamed for struggling, your having a normal response for not normal life situations. You are dealing with your illness, you are fighting back, you got better-- and you made it happen. I found board games in the middle of my breakdown and it helped so much in connecting and socializing with people again, which is hard for me in general (cptsd with anxiety here). I found joy, a hobby I like and then my other hobbies came back. I love going into the world of the game ( hi Everdell), I wonder if it is linked to dissociation as it's a healthier coping mechanism that is quite similar in it's base. It's also great to send my brain to think about board games which is not triggery to me, helps to calm down.
Thank you for this. Your way of talking about mental illness and the benefits of analog / solo gaming is well said and helpful to so many people. Just stumbled on your channel, so sorry for being late to the discussion!
Just found your channel and I wish you the best. As you know, there are negative people out there (Who are the two who gave thumbs down, for instance, after you were clear at the outset?!). I am going to check your backlog now, and I feel like I know you now!
do what you must do, take the time you have to, do not think that we are judging you. We appreciate your efforts when and if they happen. be yourself, accept yourself, we appreciate you
Thanks for sharing this, it all makes perfect sense to me. I also have C-PTSD and resultant depression, anxiety and dissociation. I can relate to having a time of year that's difficult for me it's the 6 months October through March and it's related to various anniversaries of traumas plus probably some seasonal affective disorder as well. The pandemic and lockdown doesn't help, of course! I admire your video work and I don't think I could do it myself. My own social lifeline is mostly boardgames online with webcam chat to try and give my brain that "face to face" boost it seems to need since losing my weekly game group session to lockdown. Hopefully 2021 will be better for all of us.
Dear Livi, what a brave video and what an important confession too! I totally understand you as I also find peace and relaxation in boardgames as well; as much as I love to play with other people, sometimes, in order to get rid of some stress, I just set everything up and play just with myself a 3-4 player game (which is super weird I believe). We all need our own island, a safe place, where we can collect our thoughts. I am not saying this is a permanent solution, as I believe in case of depression everyone should contact a specialst to talk to (as I did in the past), but if that brings us joy and peace - well, it's as good as sport, jogging, watching a game on TV and way better than alcohol or drugs. Livi, I'm all with you, happy birthday, don't be scared of being 30 as it's a new episode in your life (and you will feel pretty cool with it until you will reach 40 as I did :D ), you are a very nice, beautiful girl with a great hobby, just take care of yourself and look at all these thumbs ups that were left here. That should be a reason for you to be proud of, you made yourself an amazing birthday gift!
You are very brave, I watch your videos but usually dont comment much. This touched in a personal subject for me because I go through the same thing, usually in the middle of the year. You will be fine, you will get through this. Solo play helped me a lot. Thanks for the honesty and take it easy on yourself. We will be here.
I found your channel few days ago and I am enjoying your videos a lot so please keep in mind that some people like your approach, your content or just you :)
Creating adventures for my wife as I GM and she plays the role of the adventurer has helped me take my mind off of what is happening in the world. It takes me away from all the endless negative news and stresses at work. Focusing my thoughts on creating content for our fantasy world is fun, creative & relaxing for me, and has helped to keep me sane this last year. So I get that playing solo games helps you reduce your anxiety and stress. Keep on gaming Livi! :)
![Twenty One Pilots - “The Line” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/E2Rj2gQAyPA/mqdefault.jpg)
Talking about mental health, helps normalize the discussion. Thank you for sharing.
I did watch all the way to the end, and I just wanted to give you a big virtual hug. I've been watching your channel for a while and have been amazed by your output playing the games in the contests. I do some playtesting in the solo design contests, but I just comment in the threads, and I only playtest a fraction of the games you do.
I just stumbled across this video two years late, so I don't know how relevant my comments will be now, but here goes anyway.
I hope you're at peace with being in your thirties now. I remember how painful it was for me to turn 30 and 40, but oddly, turning 50 and 60 were great. So for me, at least, that did get better, and I hope it will for you too.
But mostly I wanted to say how impressed I am with how your generation is normalizing mental illness. I admire it in my own children, who are about ten years older than you. Both my husband and I have family histories of mental illness going back generations, and we were taught that it was shameful and a deep dark secret. But our kids are determined to break that cycle. It's so much healthier to shine a light than have deep dark secrets. This video is such a gift. It must have hard to make, but the truth really can set you free. I've found that when I've been up front about my own struggles (mostly brain damage from a stroke that makes it hard for me to read and understand the rulebooks of the games I'm playtesting) people have been really kind and understanding. The solo boardgaming community is one of the best. ❤
What a brave, honest, and relatable video. As someone who has struggled with anxiety all of my life and only recently sought out help, I appreciate your openness. I realize this post is 2 years old but just wanted to give you my support. I hope things are going well for you Livi.
Just discovered you yesterday by your 4AD videos and I just saw this and had to watch. A lot of what you say resonates so much with me. Thank you for sharing and I hope you feel better. Love your content and I hope you will be releasing more soon, but above all, that you take care of yourself.
It takes a lot of strength to open up like this, and I hope you feel better soon. I'm rooting for you. 🌹
Hi - I just wanted to echo the sentiments below. I've only just discovered your channel after purchasing 4AD (I'm late to the party again!) This video resonates with me on every level. Please take care of yourself and thank you.
I just turned 50, I will probably need to live until I'm 200 years old before I figure out what I want to be when I grow up, so for what it's worth...30 is a pretty good age to be.
Hi Livi! You're the BEST! Thank you so much for introducing me to 4AD and solo TT gaming - and thank you for your courage and honesty in this video! I've felt at my worst at the end of January and all throughout February, too. And I think that I have some childhood PTSD, too. Have your seen "The Crappy Childhood Fairy" here on RUclips? She's helped me a whole lot! ... Anyway, this video is two years old - so I'm going to go look on your channel for an update! Hope it's ALL GOOD NEWS! ... OH! And your BIRTHDAY is smack dab in the MIDDLE of the duldrums - on February 15th!? Well! We all need to celebrate your HALF BIRTHDAY... but that would have made it AUGUST 15th - two weeks ago! Dang. HOPE YOU HAD A VERY HAPPY HALF BIRTHDAY!!! ; D
Thank you so much for sharing that. You make awesome videos and you are so likeable! Do whatever makes you happy and feel good. To quote Baz Luhrmann in the song "Sunscreen": "... Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life
The most interesting people I know
Didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees
You'll miss them when they're gone.."
Thank you for your service, to strangers you barely know - it takes a special kind of bravery to talk about real mental health issues because they are so often ostracized as someone just being "flaky" or whatever which just leads to alienation, so, thank you
Thank you so much for sharing, it is greatly appreciated.
A year late, but thanks for the precise articulation of mental condition characteristics. Your explanation of dissociation is very valuable.
im right there with camus. the world is not just insane, its absurd! give meaning and joy to whatever you wish, and be true to yourself. in a crazy world, only we whacky few are truly rational. we share two things- great intelligence, and the issues which come with it. and remember, as napoleon said: courage is not having the strength to go on, courage is going on even when you have no strength. very best wishes!!!
Not only do I have anxiety and depression, but I also have OCD, PTSD, autistic spectrum disorder, and coordination and balance issues, and I also suspect a birth defect or two as well, so I know how this works. Still, with that being said, it is good to have a support system that is around you because I honestly need one in my life.
“Call me crazy” but there was a lot of sense in your talk. Keep up the great work!
Thank you for sharing with us… I just found your channel and i understand the strength it took to make this video. My mental health issues are currently in remission, and i hope you have, or will, find the help you need. Best wishes to you!
I watched until the end! 😊
As someone who struggles with depression and anxiety, thank you for sharing this video.
Thanks for posting this Livi. This video illustrates that one could live a life worth living despite mental health challenges, while also acknowledging that sometimes that we must "lose the battle" to "win the war". Thanks also for all that you do. I am new to this channel but have found it to be both informative, soothing, and because of this video, a reminder of what is possible despite mental health challenges.
Thanks for sharing something so personal.
At least you've got the guts to talk about it.
As the spouse of someone with similar problems you are on the right track. Those of us in a support role understand you where others may not and are puzzled. There is no cure only coping mechanisms. The chemical nature of such problems cause cyclical reoccurrence of symptoms which is something others might not understand thinking a “cure” has occurred. Hang in there… In my experience I know there are medications exist that help it take time discovering what works. We understand your plight and wish you well…
I play solo games for very similar reasons. I was 30sh when I put down the drink and drugs but I do not find solo gaming for another 20sh years. Congrats on having a path forward.
Thank you for being real with us Livi. You're not alone. You helped me and no doubt many many more. You're stronger than you imagine. And you'll make a good leader. Hopefully you'll have more fun or whatever you want in your 30s than all the decades before! :)
Thank you for sharing this. You owe us nothing and we will enjoy whatever you put out whenever you can, if you can.
This just came across my feed now. I hope you found a place to check into that will/did help. I spent a month in a hospital for my mental health and discovered solo rpgs during that. You are not lazy. You are strong for surviving and having the self awareness to know that this, too, shall pass. You take whatever breaks you need as often as you need. We'll be here. 💚
This was genuine and beautiful in its own way. I would love to have you in my relaxing 4AD gaming group. I like your calmness and caring voice. Although I had a pretty fun childhood with sports, education and such, I had a geeky side that doesn’t always fit in to the classic blockheads crowd 😊. I had a mean stepdad that at times traumatized me even to today even though he now passed on. Anyway, Im with you. I like to challenge my brain best i can. Your voice is like a latenight DJ, I DJ’d weddings for 25 years. Im 51 now. I love people like you because you are the kindest type of people in the world. If there were more people like you in the world, the world would be a better place. I am from Pittsburgh and Mr. Rogers is from Pittsburgh and you remind me of him a bit sharing your feelings with your personality and that is a good thing. In closing, I really enjoy your videos so keep making them and share your intelligence, it is appreciated.
Dear Liv, this is a great and important video. Thank you for this, and all your work here on youtube.
I am recently divirced and living alone for 4 months. I started to search for solo games so I can pass sometime when Im in home. Just found your channel and I want you to know that you are helping me a lot with your videos. Thank you. Be strong.
A very open, neat and honest declaration. Aside from your (not uncommon) condition, this makes your reviews even more human, and your videos more profound and your "solo adventures" more healing
Please accept my support and encouragement. This was probably quite difficult for you. I am a therapist, don't know what you're going through, but imagine outpatient work hasn't helped you enough. In-patient work is a pretty severe choice (as EMDR is usually done outpatient, for example), but I certainly want the best for you. And for what it's worth, I neither find your words "stupid" (you're very smart and articulate), nor do you look "ugly" (seem attractive to my eyes). I wish you the best.
Just stumbled over this channel. Very interesting. I hope you are doing better today. I have also been struggling life-long with mental health. I am getting into solo board gaming right now because I hope it's going keep my brain healthy. Really looking into more like narrative role-playing type stuff as play-acting is apparently really useful for healthy neuro-plasticity.
If you are still struggling with existential issues and wondering what you are doing with your life you could maybe look at ACT or logotherapy. I have no experience with logotherapy but ACT is really quite good. It reframes the whole context of meaning in life to be value- instead of goal-based and has lots of useful guidelines and exercise on how to achieve this. It's also heavily incorporating mindfulness and that has helped me quite a bit to establish better mindful routines for myself. For me it also has been a form of feedback loop once I figured out that prioritizing my own health as a value in my life I want to live for is quite useful. I am not sure if mindfulness helps with your dissociative symptoms but mine have improved, I can be much more present now in stressful situation without dissociating heavily. But I was mostly dissolving in thoughts and identity into nothingness and infinite paradoxes not really away from my body.
Thanks for helping to normalize mental health awareness and the bravery for putting your own struggle out there. Folks who haven't struggled with it often don't understand that it's not an easy or quick fix. You have all the patience you need to get better. You've got this, and we'll be here.
Well said. As a lifelong sufferer of depression and anxiety, I just want to add my voice to others in saying you're not alone. Gaming has been a solace, and for me gamebooks in particular have been keeping me sane through the pandemic.
You should be very proud of what you’ve done here, of who you are. Simple words cannot convey how important this message and the example of your bravery is to others out there who may feel that they are suffering alone.
This actually made me feel hopeful that despite your struggles you've already achieved so much, and in the realm of a truly amazing community, your a true inspiration ❤
Livi, I appreciate what you do for the board game community and especially how you do it. Your calmness and professionalism make your videos special and fresh. Thanks a lot, don‘t push yourself too hard. All we want for you is to feel well and enjoy this hobby like the rest of your many, many fans.
Great that you can open up like this , and you will help others who watch this too . And keep doing what makes you happy , games are great therapy
Thanks for sharing. I too have suffered from depression at times over the last few years. I wish you the best.
Thank you for sharing your symptoms. You are the only other person that I’ve heard say January and February are the worst times as far as anxiety and overall mental health. Everything you are saying I relate too. Social anxiety and depression are horrible. I also have those running on both sides of the family. You are not rambling, you are making complete sense. I hope you keep making videos, don’t be embarrassed, you are super helpful!!
I realy want to say ignore the negative voice I realise this is a nine month video.. do it for you. Creating a video takes organizational. Planning time editing, money management so many positive skills. Your not on a time scale. It feels like it some times watching other channels getting prerelase stuff or Others have reviewed this before you.. but people watch for your experience. ..and only you have your experience or way to play. Be you always always be you now. You had great fun positive comment in this video , I'm not a metal health expert to say focus on those , or ignore the bad thoughts but reading the comments you've made an impact you don't need to continue, you upload privately if it helps., but be yourself under no commitment to any one ... now I'm terrible typing so sorry for that I wanted to post something .. hope your well, I never around to posting my 4ad stuff .. but loved watching your
I think everybody was glued to the end.
You're very brave, and I wish I could help..
Livi, nobody's going to hold you to filming commitments. Life, work, family always should come before that. I don't know if it's any consolation, but you're not alone in finding this particular winter also more depressing than others.
You explained dissociation particularly well, I've seen it in others and myself sometimes also.
Vitamin d in large daily doses does help - temporarily.
Plus the anticipation of two board games you sold me on (the Brambles and Dungeon Flee)..
♪
I just started watching your channel and it really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing! I hope you are doing well and I look forward to seeing new posts from you when you’re feeling up to it!❤
A SAD light for 20 min in the morning helps me a lot. Also, a therapist recommended fish oil tablets every day and that helps with my anxiety/ depression too. Fighting it takes a whole bag of tricks ❤❤❤
Hi Livi, very nice to make your acquaintance, thanks for opening up like this. I have my own issues which can be described nowadays with terms like Aspergers or ADD, and unlike you I actually had a very happy childhood with close friends playing lots of games like AD&D and board game. I am a little older, now approaching 40 and life has been getting steadily worse for me, my friends from back then all have jobs, families, children and I feel left behind, lost in nostalgia for what it used to be like for me. I find myself playing more and more solo games because the very few friends I still find time to play games with prefer (for me dry soulless) eurogames.
I very much recoginize playing solo games as this way of dealing with issues, but for me also lately I find it is harder and harder to find the energy and inspiration to even set up a game, and after setting it up I am sometimes already so burned out that I will pack it up or leave in on the table for days without any urge to play on my own.
For years I have been planning to open a local game store, just to provide what I mostly missed in my town, a place to meet people with the same interests as me, and people who may have a harder time socializing on their own. For me the board games really help socializing because there will be a shared activity, some topic to talk about, but otherwise I am also very socially awkward and anxious, like I would love to do what you do, or stream playing the games and socialize with chat, but there is just so much fear and I never get around to it. So good job, you did what I cannot even start and I think you are doing a great job with the channel. I wish you a lot of strength in the coming months, lets hope this winter will be different (but how can it be?).
I rarely comment on RUclips.
This is the first time I see one of your videos and your words gave me shivers.
I can't really begin to imagine what you're going through. I can only hope you are OK and wish you good luck!
:-)
I never thought about how playing a board game helps a person deal with mental illness. Thank you for letting us know that.
Thank you.
A beautifully expressed message to the world. Thanks for it and take care of yourself on your long journey ahead. Keep on solo gaming as part of your healthy routine.
Corona lockdown has been an excellent opportunity for everyone to dive into solo gaming. In my case, I’ve played 100+ hours of solo marvel champions with all its expansions. I had never thought about whether the tactile nature of shuffling cards and dealing tokens is helping me relax and disconnect more. I believe that my fascination with this game is more connected to the fact that it presents the player with a new puzzle each round that you have to solve and it can be quite involved and interesting.
Anyway, it’s also interesting to learn that other people can achieve bliss by interacting with the tactile components of boardgames. I have to say I achieved bliss by listening to your eloquent voice and by seeing your beautiful face for 20 minutes :)
It took a lot of guts to make this video and I hope the other comments have given a clear sense for how profoundly grateful your audience is for who you are and what you do for the gaming community. All I would ask of you Livi is to make sure you extend yourself the same patience and grace we are all more than happy to offer. I doubt any of your audience wants to see your content come at the expense of your mental health.
For anyone else reading this, I am honored to be one of the Patreon backers for Livi and Solo Adventures. I want to go on record and make it clear that my continued meager financial support is in no way tied to an expectation of a certain amount or kind of content generated, rather a simple endorsement of Livi as a person and a valued member of the board gaming community. I hope this kind of honesty and vulnerability will convince others to join me as a Solo Adventures patron who expects nothing more from it than her continued success and well-being.
Me too, a proude Patreon 🙋♀️ Now even prouder! 😊
Yes solo boardgaming is meditating with meeples. An instrument would also be perfect for you, it´s something that will sing with you through the worst of times. A piece of wood and string that you can struggle with, when fear closes the door on the world.
I actually dabble with playing the harp. I'm terrible at it, but it is therapeutic.
@@soloadventureswithlivi1108 To dabble is to try a thing, to try is to love a thing, to love a thing is to live a life, of love.
Your honesty is amazing ❤️
Don't sweat the small mistakes. Are you enjoying yourself? That's what is important. I enjoy your videos because whether you make mistakes or not your demonstration of how you play the game is still helpful and interesting to me. Regarding your mental health, I appreciate your honesty and you are brave to share it so openly. I hope you continue to improve and find ways to live with and overcome those obstacles.
Gosh I think you are so brave to talk about your mental health, more people should, including me.
By reading the comments of others, it seems we all had similar reactions. I appreciate your transparency, honesty and the manner in which you shared all that you experience. Though you may have feared it would turn some people away, I personally feel it will draw many closer. It is endearing when someone is able to open up as you have done. I have always loved your videos, and will look forward to seeing many more in the future--when you are ready. I have not experienced what you are feeling, but in any difficult time in my life, I am thankful for a relationship with Jesus. He is there for me 24/7 and promises to never leave or forsake me. So please don't think it cliche' when I say I will be praying for you to find peace day by day, because I truly will pray. Great job on a difficult video!!
The more people talk about their struggles with their own minds, the greater the chance of reaching another sufferers hand. This is important stuff and I hope you feel better for getting it out there. You HAVE helped someone.
Livi...do what makes you feel good and take care of yourself. If something right now makes you anxious, don't do it.
Right now I'm also struggling, but I know this comes and goes.
Everything will be better, you'll see.
Just watched through this on my lunch. Thank you, this couldn't have been easy for you but I hope it helped. You have a very natural was of speaking to the camera as though we are right with you, it felt very personal and beautifully honest. I hope you're doing okay.
Thank you for opening up about your struggles! Hope you can get the help you need.
Thank you so much for sharing! 💚
I can relate to so much of it, as I suffer from mental illness as well! I am so thankfull that this is a topic which is talked about quite open, at least in the English Board game community (can't remember someone talk about it in the German yet). Thanks for doing it! And please, take your time! I wish you all the best, may tomorrow be a better day! 🐛
🤗
Do not give up! We really like your channel.
Massive respect!!! You just got new subscriber. Mental health issues are becoming more than common in this mad times and at same time more people are becoming more open about this serious problem. It is important to be able to talk about it and reach out to others. Unfortunately I know something about it... Gaming it is something which definitely helps. Good luck with finding rays of sunshine in everyday situation and NEVER think about yourself badly!
I'm like 7 or 8 years in and still haven't soloed a physical board game (outside of playtesting.) I almost set up scythe 1x & have Proving Grounds sitting here unwrapped. I also kickstarted the Skytear solo tcg...gotta get that 1 to the table, if nothing else. Yeah, boardgames probably saved my life. I can't advocate for them enough. You're super-d-duper all around... serotonin be damned! Let's keep on (Galaxy) Truckin!
What a strong message to give to your community. You are awesome!
I have no experience myself with what you have, but know a few that has been through a lot, and hit rock bottom. Winter depression is a real thing, and people usually do not understand. Hell, even I was questioning it at first, winter is my favorite time of the year! But then again, I grew up with skiing, bobsleding, snowboarding, builing castles in the snow, snow caves and swimming in ice water... Not everyone is so privelaged. I assosiate winter with fun times with the family, boardgaming and reading is also a part of this.
Also, my birthday is in 2 days... Febuary is just the best month! (It is also the shortest!) Being over 30 doesn't matter at all, it is just a number! Bordgames are for everyone, so keep at it, and stay strong! Now I need to plow away some snow in front of the house...
Cheers from Denmark/Norway
Beautiful. Thank you for your courage, transparency, self-care and service to the community.
Thanks for sharing. It takes tremendous courage to share. I have the January and February issue real bad. Last year I almost was non functioning for a month. It’s awful :(
Happened to see this featured on BGG and after listening for a couple minutes I liked and subscribed. Thank you so much for your bravery and willingness to talk about this stuff. As someone who has dealt with depression and anxiety my whole life I know how hard it can be but also how helpful it is to be open about mental illness. I'm also a big solo gamer and look forward to watching the rest of your content. I'm also in my early 30's... so much to relate to! Thanks again!
Woah, I had no idea this was on BGG. Could you please send me the link?
@@soloadventureswithlivi1108 Hi Livi, it's actually just on the main page when I open boardgamegeek.com and scroll down. It says: Creator Spotlight and shows your channel with links to some of your videos. I'm surprised they would put that there without letting you know or getting permission.
Thank you for sharing =) I wish more people would it! And solo boardgaming is I agree a good way to calm down =)
No judgement or pressure here. 😍 A big reason I also play boardgames, especially solo, is to help with my mental health challenges. Take care of yourself FIRST - I'm sending good vibes your way!
You are so brave to do this video. You show great strength and do not think on any embarrassment. We should all talk about our mental heath including me! Love your gaming pnp. Yes I listened to the very end xxxxx
I was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts before I got into board games. While I’m also moderately introverted, the small group social interaction of board gaming helped literally saved my life. COVID has really made this rough. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep pushing forward and hope that tomorrow will be better than today.
I also what to say...so much. Thank you for all you do. You owe us nothing. We are blessed by your hard work. Thank YOU. I wish I could communicate with you more directly because I relate. And I am all alone where I am.
@@prufrock1977 Being alone about it is the hardest part! 😥 Do you have tried to find a online community to take part in? To play board games or to share other things? I hope you will find some people that can help somehow! 💚
@@Luca-kd2lx With work, studies, pandemic, and trying to find time to relax, it's just so difficult. I moved to a new town 3 years ago. Not many are into gaming, and the town is very unfriendly to outsiders...so it has been hard to adjust.
@@prufrock1977 I totaly understand! I am a stranger as. That's why I am happy that the internet gives us the possibility to meet people all over the world all the time! :) I hope it will get better for you!
I have mental illness and had also "came out of the closet" about it in my own way. Board Gaming has also been a way of coping even though its hard to teach others my games even when they're open to playing. Very anxious-ridden personally, but when I'm able get that out of the way and actually play, that's the best part. I tried to go solo play several times but it never got off the ground until COVID happened. Because of this a whole new world of board gaming opened up for me. Led me to RUclips channels like yours which I feel blessed to find :)
Please do what you need to do so we can see more of your better days on here doing the hobby that you love. And like how some others have said on here, you don't owe us anything, we just want you to be your best even if you have to stop so to cope. So as the saying goes, "Sometimes we need to go back two spaces in order to go ahead three squares" (*Whatup boardgame reference 😜)
You are such an inspiration, Livi 🙂
Thanks for sharing! Don’t be ashamed of telling your truth. It can help others to know they are not alone. I’m pretty much right there with you on basically all of this stuff. Trauma, drama, depression, anxiety, trying to deal with all this in unhealthy ways, now attempting more healthy coping methods, on and on and on… Also dissociation, yes, I’ve had it forever. Many times feeling like I’m watching myself from like some weird third-person perspective, distant, detached, and disconnected as I say and do stupid and strange things, and I’m just like, “Why just why…? What the hell are you doing?!” It’s great you’re trying to turn what you enjoy doing (solo gaming) into a creative/productive thing like this RUclips channel. Turn negatives into positives. It can help out and be healing in a way to create and share. Hope you're doing okay. Keep your head up, stay strong, good luck, and take care!
Great video. I have anxiety and know what it's like to hate myself for making mistakes or saying the wrong thing. You are not alone. Many of us are on our own journey to feel better.
I came to solo gaming through miniature games (Blood Bowl, Malifaux, 40K) - I find that I love the models and rules interactions but hate competitive gaming. I agree these games are like puzzles with a built-in story for context and I love that. Working through the problems is engaging and fun, even if I lose the game. Crafting the cards & boards for PNP games is another awesome hobby unto itself.
My wife and I are in our mid-30's and from my perspective it has been really good to us. By this age we're finally settling into hobbies which really fit us, for instance :) I hope you find the work you put into this channel and the community your are building around it to be fun. I hope you find a good balance so you continue to enjoy it and it doesn't feel like work or obligation.
You are awesome. Knowing your struggle makes everything you have done so far even more amazing. Solo gaming has been one of the few things that has made the last year of isolation more bearable. Your honesty about this came at a time that I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
Thank you so much for being willing to share with us your mental health struggles. I also struggle with anxiety and depression. Medication has been a huge help for me. Like you, I also find the tactile aspect of solo board gaming helpful. Just know you are not alone, and I believe many of your viewers appreciate and respect your honesty. Now...in to the next solo game!
I had to deal with somewhat crippling social anxiety as well all throughout high school and into university so I completely related to what you've gone through. Board games were the main driver that helped me get over this (you could say that my passion for the hobby overcame my fear of social situations) in that they broke the ice, provided a set framework for interaction and created a bridge to slowly knowing the early members of my board game group. Thanks for opening up about this. I among many others in the comments find it refreshing and brave that you're opening up about this on a social platform.
Don't know if you'll see this (as I've only just found your channel) but just wanted to say that a) you don't come across as dumb in any way and b) being this honest on the internet is really brave - but may well have helped many other people so well done. And gaming (whether solo or in groups) is a great therapy/outlet/coping mechanism so well done you for getting into it. No apologies necessary. And please don't get anxious about the channel - gamers (of any kind) are almost always nice people (it's in their genes) and we're happy to wait for good gaming content. Do it when it feels right for you and we'll be here to watch. Good luck.
Thanks for sharing. This last year has been a very tough one, and even more so for those dealing with anxiety and depression (most definitely including myself). Things are normally good, with help, but especially with everything going on in the world, we all need to take breaks and reach out for help. I'm happy you're here making videos and sharing with us, but do it on your own schedule. We'll still be here! :)
I very much hope that in the two+ weeks since this video was cut you are indeed feeling better. The days are getting longer, and brighter. Solo gaming is my primary way of playing as well- though I love playing with family and friends. But I find that after a day working online, I don't even want to watch TV or movies much- but I love taking out and handling pieces, thinking through different strategies, playin something new and different, or something I haven't taken out in a while, or maybe a game that's an old friend. I appreciate you sharing this- I think it's an important and very well stated message. Happy gaming, soon.
I understand this video, and your heartfelt sharing of your mental health, in a deeply personal way. Thank you for taking the energy to share!!!
I appreciate the courage and vulnerability (aka personal strength) you showed by sharing this.
Thanks for sharing. I'm new to your channel, but I'd never judge anyone for having a mental illness. Congratulations on taking a giant step and opening up to your audience.
i super appreciate how honest you are, please be safe, take care of yourself, take your time, i love this channel and all the content you put out but i also can relat to some of the things you have to deal with, keep figthing the good figth, dont feel like you owe us anything
and honestly i thought you were 22, dont feel old yet, wait till you're 70 ish
I just came across this video and I know that it is dated now but so many of the mental health issues you raised are similar to what I live with myself. In the last year, I have found such peace and mindfulness from solo board gaming. The tactile interaction with the game, the mental challenge of solving puzzles, so much of it has helped me to be present and that I am mentally improving from a time when I was not so good. I wish you well in your journey and want you to know that you do not travel that path alone. Peace to you.
Livi. Thank you for making this video.
While I am lucky to have no (known to me :-) ) issues, I know people which does. I think it is very important to talk about mental health as I believe it can really make difference for others struggling with similar issues.
Next, I completely understand you filling stupid while looking at your own videos, while I do not make youtube content (with few exceptions ;-) ), I had this feeling many times creating content for others.
But from your first video (I had accidentally found you searching for something on youtube) I knew: you are nice, honest. This is something you can not fake or pretend. Later watching your reviews I also realized, that you have great insight, care about what you are doing and I agree with 95% of your conclusions. Your reviews are always interesting, great to watch. I really can not imagine I would think (what ever you would do in video), that this is stupid.
So again, thank you for creating this video. And please do not care too much about schedules of video uploads, we (I am sure many would agree with me) love your videos and looking forward to watch another, but while you care about us, we also care about you and if not making video right now is what you need right now, then do take your time.
Thank you for sharing what are you strategy plans for grounding, self care and self validation. Is routine and mindfulness with exercise part of your daily activities.
It takes courage to reveal your flaws to the world. I also suffer from mental illness (my issues are more of a slow burn... I crash every few years) and I have found much comfort in board gaming for the same tactile / art / physical reasons. I tend to hoard my games... parting with them is difficult... like saying goodbye to a family member. I wish you much success with your channel and hope that you find balance in your own unique way. And, no worries, if you are honest with yourself at 30 you are way ahead of most people lol. :)
you are doing great with the videos. we appreciate all the time and effort you put in. it's important to take care of yourself also. i recognize a lot of myself and my past in your story. i hope you feel better soon.
This was very helpful for me. Thank you. I'm 61 and never thought I'd live this long since my dad died at 44. That year was very hard on me. I was raised at a time when mental illness was taboo and at times it's hard to deal with even to this day. With more people being open to mental health that stigma is lessened but I want you to know that your videos help me to deal with my issues. So keep up the good work and thanks for trusting enough to share.
You are amazing and brave for bringing your personal voice to this important topic, thank you! Please don't be ashamed for struggling, your having a normal response for not normal life situations. You are dealing with your illness, you are fighting back, you got better-- and you made it happen.
I found board games in the middle of my breakdown and it helped so much in connecting and socializing with people again, which is hard for me in general (cptsd with anxiety here). I found joy, a hobby I like and then my other hobbies came back. I love going into the world of the game ( hi Everdell), I wonder if it is linked to dissociation as it's a healthier coping mechanism that is quite similar in it's base. It's also great to send my brain to think about board games which is not triggery to me, helps to calm down.
Thank you for this. Your way of talking about mental illness and the benefits of analog / solo gaming is well said and helpful to so many people. Just stumbled on your channel, so sorry for being late to the discussion!
Related to many parts of your video. Surprised by some insights I gained. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences
That means a lot to me!
Just found your channel and I wish you the best. As you know, there are negative people out there (Who are the two who gave thumbs down, for instance, after you were clear at the outset?!). I am going to check your backlog now, and I feel like I know you now!
do what you must do, take the time you have to, do not think that we are judging you. We appreciate your efforts when and if they happen. be yourself, accept yourself, we appreciate you
Thanks for sharing this, it all makes perfect sense to me. I also have C-PTSD and resultant depression, anxiety and dissociation. I can relate to having a time of year that's difficult for me it's the 6 months October through March and it's related to various anniversaries of traumas plus probably some seasonal affective disorder as well. The pandemic and lockdown doesn't help, of course!
I admire your video work and I don't think I could do it myself. My own social lifeline is mostly boardgames online with webcam chat to try and give my brain that "face to face" boost it seems to need since losing my weekly game group session to lockdown. Hopefully 2021 will be better for all of us.
Dear Livi, what a brave video and what an important confession too! I totally understand you as I also find peace and relaxation in boardgames as well; as much as I love to play with other people, sometimes, in order to get rid of some stress, I just set everything up and play just with myself a 3-4 player game (which is super weird I believe). We all need our own island, a safe place, where we can collect our thoughts. I am not saying this is a permanent solution, as I believe in case of depression everyone should contact a specialst to talk to (as I did in the past), but if that brings us joy and peace - well, it's as good as sport, jogging, watching a game on TV and way better than alcohol or drugs. Livi, I'm all with you, happy birthday, don't be scared of being 30 as it's a new episode in your life (and you will feel pretty cool with it until you will reach 40 as I did :D ), you are a very nice, beautiful girl with a great hobby, just take care of yourself and look at all these thumbs ups that were left here. That should be a reason for you to be proud of, you made yourself an amazing birthday gift!
This is so brave for you to share with us. At least you have try to face it. You are never walk alone. Take care Livi !
You are very brave, I watch your videos but usually dont comment much. This touched in a personal subject for me because I go through the same thing, usually in the middle of the year.
You will be fine, you will get through this. Solo play helped me a lot. Thanks for the honesty and take it easy on yourself. We will be here.
I found your channel few days ago and I am enjoying your videos a lot so please keep in mind that some people like your approach, your content or just you :)
Creating adventures for my wife as I GM and she plays the role of the adventurer has helped me take my mind off of what is happening in the world. It takes me away from all the endless negative news and stresses at work. Focusing my thoughts on creating content for our fantasy world is fun, creative & relaxing for me, and has helped to keep me sane this last year. So I get that playing solo games helps you reduce your anxiety and stress. Keep on gaming Livi! :)