Story 3 OP's husband isn't a red flag for abuse. He's an abuser, period. He ignores her boundaries, sexually assaults her in front of her kids HABITUALLY, and the one time she fights back he immediately escalates the physical violence to punching her. She needs to run so fast.
26:02 this whole convo on reactive abuse was great to hear. thank you for saying "dont judge people on their reaction to abuse" i really needed to hear this. been to harsh on myself.
I really appreciated that quote! Someone commented on instagram about this but I just want to share here because it's new to me-- but the term reactive abuse is a bit outdated and "self-defense" or just "defense" is preferred. I did a bit more research and makes total sense as reactive abuse puts it back on the victim a bit. Learn something new every day
I've never heard of reactive abuse. Thank you so much for sharing. I had an abusive ex and definitely was the one who was bullied for my reaction to the abuse I endured... many, many times. If anyone is reading this and can relate, please. PLEASE. Get out. That is NOT love.
Story 3- this is the start of physical abuse! Her husband is testing the waters to see how far he can push her and abuse/hit her until it starts being punches, pushes and throwing things! She needs to run and take the kids!! Otherwise the kids will grow up thinking it’s okay to hurt your partner!
I ALWAYS say you cannot be upset with someone’s reaction to your negative behavior. He cannot be mad at her reaction to his negative behavior!! I’m a female and if I ever was continuously hitting my partner in the balls over and over again after he told me to stop. I would not be surprised if he then hit me in the face. That’s self defense against literal SA. You can’t be hurting other ppl without expecting to be hurt back. Not encouraging to abuse the abuser. Best thing is to leave. But if your reaction is to defend yourself then good on you. You have every right to.
Veterinary technician here. Horses have the IQ of a four year old human child, and are capable of recognizing human facial features, body language, emotions, and they have the capability of “remembering” who you are the next time they see you if they ever see you again. So, yes. Equines are incredibly, scarily smart lol.
They are also incredibly, scarily dumb. 🤣 My OTTB has the emotional maturity to stay calm when a car crashed into the horse runs because I was freaking out and one of us needed to be calm. He also has the idiocy to jump five feet to the left because he forgot I was still brushing him one time.
Story 3: I hope they divorce this is domestic violence he has no issue hurting her but the minute she gives him a taste of his own medicine he can't handle it. This relationship sounds incredibly unhealthy for her and the kids seeing it.
It was almost as if he was waiting for a reason to punch her. Hannah talked about the cycle of abuse in the last story but it’s so applicable to this one. He says sorry, suggested therapy, will probably weaponize the language so the next time he physically abuses her again he can convince her to stay…. And round and round they go. I’m trying to get a loved one to snap out of this cycle before she ends up in the hospital, strapped down with a kid or 💀. Trying to convince the abused to let go is so difficult. I often blame myself for not encouraging her to let go the very 1st time
Honestly she was also in the wrong for hitting him though. She could have left, called the police, made a report, asked him to leave, asked for separation, a divorce, counseling, a thousand other options before resorting to physical violence against your partner. I get that she was pushed to her limits but she didn’t slap him immediately in the moment in the shower, she waited, finished showering, then got out and slapped him across the face. It’s no longer self defense at that point and they were both acting incorrect
This was my relationship with my ex-husband too. He was always slapping my butt and grabbing my breasts. Harassing me, hurting me. When I told him to stop, he did it harder and said it wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t struggle against it. He started teaching our two-year-old to “slap mommy” and laughing when she did. … he abused me in every way and much most serious incidents happened. Now I have a restraining order and we are in the process of getting divorced.
@@stargirl91291he hit her 10 times a day and she's in the wrong for hitting back one single time after weeks of abuse? Sorry she isn't a perfect victim. I'm sure in her place you would have reacted perfectly.
The way my jaw literally dropped when I heard you read the part where he was upset that she used his money without permission. Oh my god. I mean the rest is awful, but that was just next level. If this woman wants help out of this marriage, I'm there. Let's go.
Exactly!! If she is the one staying home in this partnership, I presume she is the one taking care of the home re. a large majority or all of the cleaning/cooking/groceries/appointments etc. So going by his logic, why is he using the clean toilet? Why is he eating the meal she cooked? And why on gods green earth did he turn up at the doctors appointment that SHE booked in and reminded him about?
Story three gave me full body chills and reminds me of my ex husband who would constantly cross my very basic boundaries and then get mad at my reactions. He was abusive, and at a bonfire one time for our anniversary he tipped my chair back and it scared me and I accidentally hit him in the face, not hard, but I still did and I immediately apologized. His reaction was to then shove the chair forward so hard I fell out onto the ground and laugh at me, and then ignored me the rest of the night. RUN GIRL and never ever look back.
I got ovarian cancer at 23. I've had so many surgeries and illnesses and complications. My husband has been with me every single step of the way without fail. My first surgery (a very long surgery) was on his 25th birthday and he stayed even though he couldnt see me after. When you find a good one it really shows.
Damn.. I had a flare from my disease over the weekend started on a Saturday night and I had been puking for 18 Sunday night, my husband was driving my half conscious body to the e.r screaming at me and demanding to know why I didn’t go into my infusion center on Friday and get treatment I was feeling great on Friday and he refuses after all this time to learn that I can’t decided when, where, what time or know when I’m gonna have a flare they come outta nowhere
Story 6, she is abusing him. Making him so scared and now getting him threatened by her brothers is horrible. He needs to get a lawyer and gather evidence to prove his innocence in case she takes it to the point getting the law involved.
Yes he needs to leave her and protect himself because she sounds truly crazy. He should also show this post and evidence to her family so they leave him alone and get her help.
It was awfully gross how these women started to suggest that he "must have done something" to garner this reaction. The guest has a pretty big anti-male bias that came out multiple times throughout the podcast. This suggestion was based on nothing other than his gender. There was no evidence in the story to suggest he had done anything negative to his gf.
She has made herself paranoid, and it hurts to see her spiralling without realising it. I used to binge listen true crime podcasts. It's not good to consume that much. I was constantly hearing about serial killers and rapists and it made me mistrust anyone not close to me, without any real cause on their side. Totally believe the boyfriend did nothing wrong, it's her media consumption that makes her way more anxious. They can do that! For me once I realised how paranoid it made me I stopped listening for a while and a lot of the fears lessened. This girl needs to chill with the podcasts, but it looks like she'd rather wreck her own relationship before fixing the problem.
@@Karamarika I think you have to have the understanding that when people post to AITAH they’re looking to not be called the AH. I think after reading/listening to a certain amount of stories you start to become desensitized and question the legitimacy of the contents of the post. I heard them questioning whether something was being left out because it makes no sense for the partner to be acting like that. I also heard them commend him for his reaction and say they could understand if he did have a bigger reaction why that would be.
Halfway through my pregnancy, I bought a bunch of workout clothes in a size bigger so that I would be comfortable after I had the baby. It’s totally normal to buy some larger sized postpartum clothes.
Plus a hormone called relaxin released during pregnancy to help expand the pelvis to accommodate the fetus, expands all joints. Not every woman experiences this, but some people's shoe sizes literally grows by half size. It doesn't go back either, swelling or not. The space between the metacarpals literally expands. Also it takes 2 years for hormones to fully regulate back to a pre-pregnancy state. Wait isn't put on overnight and this woman is literally just 2 weeks postpartum... Throw the whole damn husband away!!! He is a weird ass, narcissistic mamas boy. Girl, it's wednesday and the trash is due out on the street!
yes same. im buying a size up so i dont have to feel bad or worry about my size after the baby comes. i know im going to be bigger, its a GIVEN after you grow and birth a whole 7-10lb human for 9 months. You’re supposed to put on weight during that time!!! We are providing nutrients for ourselves and a little person!
Currently 31 weeks and my husband went with me to get some larger clothes for us to go out with friends the next day since none of my clothes fit and I wanted to cancel.
First story pissed me off. I had a stillborn 7 weeks ago and sadly i not only lost weight during my pregnancy, I have lost weight since the loss. My husband has been nothing short of heartbroken for our boy and us, we would give up anything to have our child alive, I would rather my partner was heavier with swollen feet. Be thankful that you have a healthy child and wife. Some people....😮
Story 5- I feel like he’s seeing someone else. Especially because he’s cared for her properly before. I have a similar story. My husband was attentive when needed and actually made me go to the hospital with our second baby because he was convinced I was having the baby and I was not. We got to the hospital and I was 8cm. lol so yea he paid attention and cared. There was this season in end of 2018 that this nasty head cold was going around in my area, he had it and was hospitalized for a day, my sister had it and ended up at hospital and then I got it. He took me to the hospital because the pain was so bad in my head. They gave me some pain meds and said they would start the process of releasing me. My husband wanted to leave me so he could get to work. I told him we were leaving soon and to please wait. He called my sister (it was like 5 in the morning) to come and get me, she didn’t answer. He was texting his boss and his boss even said, don’t worry about it, take your time and take care of your wife. He was literally pacing the room because he wanted to leave. A few moments later they released me and he dropped me off at home and rushed off to work. Meanwhile I had two children under 2 at home to take care of. My mom was there while we were at the hospital so she stayed a bit until the pain meds didn’t make me so loopy. 2019 was when he told me he didn’t love me anymore and wanted a divorce. He’s married now to someone that worked with him. So it all makes sense now.
I was thinking the same thing! It explains why he wasn’t answering his phone, why he was so defensive, and why he was blaming her because he ‘had to get gas’. I’m sorry that happened to you
Story 6- As someone with OCD,it's clear to see that this girl is going through delusions and paranoia and i feel so so bad for her but i fear it's only going to get worse if she doesn't get professional help.The boyfriend reassuring her that he won't do that is honestly worthless in these situations because reasurance doesn't help with a paranoia type mental disorder,at least not in the long run,no matter how many times you say "no that isn't true",the person's brain keeps repeating "but what if,what if,what if"
I was immediately thinking there might be a mental health issue manifesting. Or something happened to her recently that she's not telling anyone about causing this odd behavior. Or, more cynical, she's being manipulative but that's just not sounding right here.
Story 5 pissed me off so much. When I had appendicitis my husband (then boyfriend) was at my side the entire time. From calling nurses, helping me walk into the hospital, staying up all night at the hospital and then sleeping on a armchair, reassuring me, waiting at the hospital the entire time I was having surgery, going out and buying me after surgery food, helping me get things i needed, helping me get dressed, driving slowly and carefully as to avoid putting me in pain on the way home, etc. I literally cannot wrap my mind around why OP’s partner would act like that. It’s like he completely blew her off.
The guy freaking out about his wife's feet is insane! Her feet might go back to how they were before, they also might not, it's fucked up that he doesn't want her to be comfortable in the time that her body is going through all these changes. But also my mum's feet got permanently bigger after she got pregnant with me, she went up a whole shoe size, it can happen. He has no right to return her shoes!
Story 5. I got the same feeling as Morgan , the husband was not at the gas station/ getting food Alone. Even if he thought the calls were “spam” he can check voicemail box… the hospital most certainly left a voicemail!!!! Regardless any loving and caring spouse would call back immediately…no scratch that any loving and caring spouse would find something at hospital cafeteria!!!!
I wouldn’t find food at the hospital. It’s not that serious for him to go get food. That’s wild. Also phones can be on silent. He obviously didn’t know she would almost die.
@@richardstiffler709 nobody is saying anything about him being there would save her life, but since he’s her husband he’s her next of kin and in urgent medical situations like that he needs to be there in case he needs to make any emergency medical decisions for her since she can’t.
This first story, 2 lines in and I'm fuming! I am almost 2.5 years post partum and my feet are still longer than they used to be. Its entirely normal to go up several sizes after pregnancy. Then he goes on to call it his money?!?!? What the actual 😮 I am flabbergasted
Story 5: I was extremely sick to the point of not being able to put my own pants on, and had to BEG my boyfriend (now ex) to take me to the hospital. He only took me after I got my mom to agree to pick me up. Essentially he agreed cause he felt guilty that she was going out of her way. I was in the hospital by myself for 5 hours (covid times) and later found out he was texting his side piece the entire time 🥰 Needless to say, mind went straight to cheating on this story.
Story 3 = Case in point for "never ever joke about or have jokes that involve hitting people" - because no matter the intentions it's just on the table now.
I was doing this at my desk yesterday. I always have tweezers in my car, in my drawer, at home… but my dumbass took the ones in me desk home so I had to try and get it with my fake nails.
As soon as she said it I literally grabbed my chin to see if mine had grown back yet 😂 i swear it’s never there and then all of a sudden it’s like an inch long
I recently quit my job and this podcast has been all I’ve been listening to while I get ready in the mornings, do my house chores, cooking cleaning and running errands. Thank you guys for keeping me sane. Some days it’s really hard to just get out of bed but looking forward to listening to all the crazy stories makes me feel less lonely and some of the stories make me feel a lot more “normal”
Story 5 is wild to me. Why would the hospital even let her husband leave?Both times my fiance had to take me to an appointment where I was put under (endoscopy and wisdom teeth). They made it a point that he was not allowed to leave even though he had to stay in the parking lot anyway because of covid. They made him sign a paper before taking me back both times stating he would be on site the entire time. Maybe just a PA thing??
They can't force him to stay. I'm not sure what they expect to accomplish by having someone sign a document saying they won't leave. How would they even enforce or punish that? He was not being legally detained, so of course he was free to leave. Morally and ethically, he should definitely stay. He has an obligation to his partner. But the medical facility can't do anything other than maybe refuse service for noncompliance.
hannah talking about how her husband waited in the parking lot when she was in the hospital just makes me think of how my boyfriend (of ~7 months at the time) stayed with me from 10:30 pm until his class when i was in the ER for my gallbladder. 😭😭 and then he came back after and spent the two days with me.
Stay at home Mum here, my husband would NEVER! He actually encourages me to spend more money on myself and gets weirded out when I ask permission to buy expensive things 😂 I got a good one, I'm aware!
How it works with us is if it's cheap, don't bother him about it. If it's expensive I tell him I want it and he'll do the math and tell me when I can buy it. Like 'Okay, I need 2 paychecks to make room for that.'
@katrinascarlet5637 that's an awesome way to work the finances. My husband is very aware that he's a little impulsive with money and purchases so he much prefers me to be in charge lol Glad ypu got a good one too 😉
As someone who has a hard time apologizing and seeing it as a sign of weakness, this gave me a hard reality check. Idk why I always see it as a blow to my ego
It's only a blow to your ego if someone forces you to apologize. If you decide to apologize on your own, because you know what you did was wrong, it's more of a power move. Now your conscious is clear & the other person has nothing to hold over you because you admitted it AND took responsibility
Orrrr it's just about showing the other person you care about their feelings and don't want to hurt them. Doesn't have to be about power or ego, it's not about you.
The last story made me think of munchausen. The girl watching all the true crime may have developed a need to be the victim and receive support and sympathy by making someone else the villain aka a form of munchausen.
I was arrested due to reactive abuse (being a POC with a white passing partner in WV is a nightmare 0/10 do not recommend) and I suffered the consequences. If you are patient and kind until you aren't, RUN! It ruined a period of time in my life.
same thing happened to a friend. police paid zero mind to the drugs all over his house and arrested her because she hit him after he shoved her into a wall multiple times.
When something happens to you while you have dark(ish?) skin does not mean it is happening to you *because* of the color of your skin. You are projecting your own feelings about race onto other people.
@@Karamarika I'm not projecting, just stating my experience. It did have to do with the color of my skin and my physical features. That cop in particular had previously targeted me when I was committing no crimes. Unless getting snacks at the gas station in the middle of the day is a crime I guess.
@RoboticComplexity what did the cop say that made it about the color of your skin? I got accused of jaywalking when I hadn't as a kid. Was that because of the color of my skin?
Bro story 6 I would’ve left her immediately if she tried hiding cameras in my or our place. Absolutely wild that she is spreading rumors now. She needs professional help. Having a partner who can’t trust you at all or is in some paranoid manic episode is DANGEROUS. Either for you or both of you in several different ways. The cameras in the house is also ILLEGAL in itself. SHE WAS THE ABUSER. The constant smearing, the constant gaslighting, the constant paranoia
Relating to what Hannah said on story 3: Reddit absolutely is a safe place for people in abusive situations. A few months ago I posted my situation on Reddit and the people that commented and reached out to me…. When I say they changed my life, I mean every word of it. Having the perspective from people outside of my situation absolutely changed everything for me. I’m 6 months out of a 10 year abusive relationship and I’ve never been better or happier. And if it weren’t for my obsession with THT, I truly don’t think I would’ve ever been able to post on Reddit and see the opinions that changed everything for me. Thank you guys for all that you do, you have no idea the difference that you have made. ❤️
Story 5: I'm glad you got there. What WAS he really doing? Why wasn't he answering his phone? Why was he actually annoyed at it all taking longer than he expected? Was he really that hungry, or was he... thirsty? Why was he not only defensive afterward, but SO defensive? Maybe it's because he knows he didn't just f*** up a big thing, but f'd it up because was doing wrong... 🤷♀️
I think it’s bc she was over reacting. He could’ve gotten food. I’m not the best person when I’m hungry. He probably just ate and didn’t look at the phone. I do that all the time and miss calls bc it’s in my purse on silent. It’s innocent. And someone shaming them bc they were hungry is wild. He could’ve said sorry but he can also feel annoyed not having his needs met.
@@user-qm3cw5zf8m I don't even know what to say to any of that. If shaming someone for hunger is your takeaway, I guess I just hope that you're never someone's support person in a serious and scary situation.
@@balancingthedark also it wasn’t a “serious and scary situation” it was routine to go get something removed that didn’t even need to be removed. It wasn’t cancerous. Her body failed her and he couldn’t have predicted that. And she shouldn’t have given him an ultimatum not to get some food. When he already waited hours with her not eating.
@@user-qm3cw5zf8m I understand that a large portion of the male population may as well be big babies, but what reasonable person expects a hospital visit to be a timely thing, even with an appointment? I have no sympathy for a grown man who didn't plan ahead like an adult and eat something before leaving. He probably relies on her to feed him, but she couldn't be the one to take care of him that day. If she only needed a ride, she didn't need him for that. She needed his support and the reassurance that was supposed to come with knowing he was with her. He already took the day off work, meaning he should literally have no other plans. All he had to do was be there for her, and he couldn't even do that. Boohoo, hunger. He'd freaking survive. She almost didn't. There was literally no reason to have his phone on silent or do not disturb. But pretending that was accidentally the case, there was even less reason not to check his phone. At. Least. Once. And that's after he led her to believe that he stay. That's how many f****s he gives. And she could see that. Expressing her feelings is not overreacting. Getting defensive, refusing to apologize, making her sound like a burden, and taking off, all because she has feelings that got hurt by his actions, might just be the reaction of a big baby, though.
Story #4 the friend should no longer be my friend . Trying to gaslight you into ruining your relationship with your partner so she can “ borrow” him . Like what the heck????
This podcast has made my life so much better and easier it opened my eyes to my ex husband and I’m happily divorced. And it helps me to notice so many red flags in guys that want to date me. I will forever be grateful for this podcast.
Story 3 is classic DARVO. He hurts her over and over then the second she responds he jumps on the opportunity to frame himself as the victim. So many abusers do this.
Yup. And then falls back on the "Oh It's just fun and games" when he gets called out. He clearly doesn't like her, let alone love. And this story makes me extra mad because my partner and I literally play the same game. If she's in panties or booty shorts- I'll try to sneak in with a swipe or tap. If I'm in boxers or loose gym shorts, she gets me with a honk or juggle. And of course, you always need to add sound effects. A good *SCHWOOP* from me or a solid *H0-HONK* from her. The difference is that it's a mutual game we both giggle about and we DEFINITELY don't hurt each other. I hate when these abusive assholes try to take what could be *couples fun* you do with your best friend and instead they weaponize it to another way to assert power. I really hope OP opened her eyes and realized what is going on.
Story 3: Thank you for talking about reactive abuse! It’s a part of domestic violence that is often not talked about. And for those in relationships where you do not feel safe and you are considering leaving… First, do NOT tell the person you are planning on leaving and make sure to do it in a safe and private way. The leaving period is the most dangerous time for victims. Do not make the same mistake I made by telling the person about your plans. Secondly, it does get better and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I PROMISE! I was 18 when I made the decision to leave my abusive marriage (yes, it all happened very quickly) and it was utterly terrifying at first. However, three years later, I am so unbelievably grateful that I got myself out of that situation because things are so much better than I could’ve ever imagined. You can do this!!! Lastly, a lot of people don’t know this but you can text 911 in most areas in the U.S. If you need help but cannot talk in front of your abuser, please text 911! Stay safe!💛
Story #5 is borderline unforgiveable to me. As someone who has had to sit in the waiting room for hours three times this year while my partner has had a few different procedures, I can't even FATHOM considering leaving the hospital the way he did. I went for a short walk around the neighborhood during the one procedure, but was CONSTANTLY checking my phone for updates, and cut the walk shorter than I needed to out of sheer anxiety of not being there if I was needed. For every procedure, I brought a protein shake mixed with my coffee so I wouldn't be super hungry. For the longest one, I brought another snack too. OP's husband knew what time the procedure was. He could have brought snacks. He could have gotten food at the hospital (which in my experience is actually very inexpensive!). He could have sucked it up and waited for an hour like OP suggested. I get it: sitting in a waiting room sucks. And afterwards, having to care for your recovering partner while also taking over all the housework and other responsibilities sucks. Sometimes they'll get grumpy from the pain and fatigue, and that sucks. It's all stressful, it's tiring, and a lot of it SUCKS. But the potential for situations like this is part of what you sign up for when you choose someone you want to share life with. And you do it. If I were OP, I'd be strongly considering divorce, and I do not take that lightly.
I just lost my husband of 10 years, 2 weeks ago. I’m a widow at 31! I had 4 babies with this man! He was my best friend and I miss him so much! He would send me the episodes the moment they dropped. We listened to every episode together while I was at home being a mom and he was working. This is the first episode I’ve listened to without him. I miss him. ❤️
For the ballerina farm story, it came out that the writer was heavily gearing the article towards their biases. The wife (can’t remember her name) came out and said that she loves her life and wouldn’t give it up or change things. I think she was actually really upset by the article because it made her seem unhappy in her life for having given up the ballerina life when she’s actually really happy
Came to say this! And the author actually released something else that admitted to her biased and how she was gearing the article towards the "darkness of trad wives", which, the ballerina farms lady hates being referred to as a trad wife.
@rebeccasmekki708 first, this is going to be long, so sorry in advance! And it wasn't the best gift, but it was something she had mentioned wanting before. My husband got me a vacuum for Christmas because I had mentioned I wanted one like it. Was it the best gift? No, but he put thought into it. It also wasn't mentioned that she has traveled like three times to other countries just this year, so she isn't isolated like the article makes it seem. Their relationship isn't perfect, no relationship is. But the author literally made the article to specifically make ballerina farms (and therefore "trad wives") look bad. The woman from ballerina farms (also can't remember her name) has said several times in the past and present that she does not like to be called a trad wife and the author calls her "the queen of trad wives". Does that sound like someone who is trying to relay the unbiased truth? We don't know the whole story, who knows if we ever will, but I don't trust the article.
Whether the author was biased doesn’t change the facts about their relationship. She was on track to be a successful ballerina and he proposed to her very quickly and then started living they started living this trad wife lifestyle. It’s concerning.
story 6- as someone who has experienced being out of touch with reality, i can totally see the Girlfriend being in the first stages of delusional paranoia. she sounds obsessive and spiraling :( i feel bad for both of them if that’s the case.
Something I learned a few years ago - the trick with singing Happy Birthday is to start the first note as low as you can, so that high note isn't unreachable. 🎉
bf and I agree in our relationship “Don’t say sorry just don’t do it” obviously an apology is a great way to acknowledge, but more importantly the learning. Also I’m compelled to say sorry when I breath sometimes, so that kind of acknowledgement brings it to understanding and communication instead of a compulsion
My son’s father left me alone at the hospital after a c-section. I woke up in a dark room with a nurse telling me I lost a lot of blood, was taking too long to wake up, and my baby had complications and needed to go to NICU. And instead of staying with us his father decided to go home and go to sleep. Ending our romantic relationship was the easiest decision I’ve ever made.
You should definitely pick a shelter each month and have a different animal from those shelters each week posted somewhere in the video. That would be such a good way to get attention for animals.
On story 5 thank you so much for putting it that way when it comes to sorry. Most of my life I had believed that sorry was an admission of malicious intent.
Same! Unfortunately I grew up with a parent who could never say sorry, but always wanted you to. They also would say you were “mean” for setting boundaries. If you did apologize (that their feelings were hurt), it would be used against you later as admission of guilt. It is so difficult for me to say it now😭
Second story reminded me of another story where op's mum and sister wanted to announce her engagement and mum basically forced op coz she paid for everything. However op's sister got shunned, there were no cheers or applause. The guests treated the sister like she was very tacky and the mum blamed op, like she masterminded the guests treatment of the sister who's usually the golden child but op said it was her own doing. It was a very satisfying outcome.
Listening to this while recovering from having my baby mid July. I was pumped with so many iv’s that the shoes I walked in didn’t not fit me to leave the hospital. I had bought wide ones too. The first story would have set me off. My feet are still swollen two months later but I would also ride at dawn for her. I don’t like to ask for things so I had everything set so I would not have to ask my husband to look for shoes for me. I don’t think op would go look for shoes for her if she didn’t get them before hand.
I remember the “happy happy birthday from all of us to you, we wish it was our birthday so we can party too, HEY!” From Emperors New Groove 😂 I sing it for my son’s birthday every year.
I’m going through so much right now and my favorite thing is to turn this podcast on and just either clean the house, organize and it really helps get me through. I’m a silent viewer but i hope you continue this for a long time!! Y’all always bring on hilarious guests too
Honestly if someone did that at my wedding and my husband’s family started booing them, I would feel like so accepted by them in that moment. The story gave me like that warm feeling. I honestly hope they did it without being asked cause I bet the bride felt so loved by her new family in the moment
A whole day early MORGAN 😮😆 Edit: where do I even START EITH STORY ONE, this man is DISGUSTING, her feet are swollen, she needs bigger shoes, just because they might shrink down or she might lose weight doesn’t mean she doesn’t need shoes that fit her NOW as she is, I can’t even with this man
Story 5: When i had appendicitis I had to stay overnight at the hospital bc the surgeon wouldn’t be there until the morning. My bf slept in the room even though I told him he could go home and sleep in our bed. He refused bc he wanted to make sure he saw me and comforted me before I went into surgery. If he wanted to, he would!
Story 1 - I’ve had 2 babies. My feet went from a 9 to a 9.5 to a 10. I gained weight after my last pregnancy, and now I’ve currently lost more than I’ve ever lost and I’m now back at my pre pregnancy weight. MY FEET ARE STILL A SIZE 10. It’s not water retention, it’s not weight gain.. sometimes this is just what happens when you have babies. To be so rude about such a small thing is WILD.
Story6: something like that happened to me, but in a good way, I listen to a lot of true crime so every time I leave someone or step out of the room I say I love them just so they know
Same, ever since COVID I say that to everyone and haven't stopped. I've had random people tell me that haven't heard concern for themselves in years and really appreciate it so I'll never stop now lol
STAAHHHPPPP I literally just randomly decided to check your channel even knowing today was Wednesday, so my jaw dropped when I saw that a new video was posted 20mins ago 😱😱😱
36:13 I really needed to hear what you guys were saying about how important it is to find the right person for you. I just recently ended my relationship with my boyfriend of 5 years (we’re both 20) and I’ve been struggling. Ur podcast truly makes a difference 🥰
There's a good chance you're going to become a completely different person in the next 5 years anyways. I suggest reading Loud by Drew Afualo because there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single & you'll probably meet the right one for you when you least expect it. Focus on getting to know yourself & platonic relationships. As a 36 year old...you have SO MUCH time for romance still.
My horse doesn’t cuddle me when I’m upset. He slaps me with his tail and basically tells me to buck up. Which I need. Sometimes my mare will cuddle. But if I don’t have food she walks away
Story 3: I don’t trust that he’ll do couples therapy! I’m so scared for her believing that. He’s going to tell a therapist that he continues to touch her inappropriately after repeatedly being told “it hurts”, “I’m not comfortable”, “not in front of the kids” ???? He’s going to explain that? Admit to sexually abusing her and then punching her in the stomach?! He’s probably one of those men that when he slapped her in the front he thought “this is mine.” Same with the butt stuff. He doesn’t want any other man to be able to touch her like that so of course he’s not leaving her! I hope she doesn’t let him talk his way out of couples therapy! She NEEDS to have him admit what he’s been doing to an outside person, especially a professional. The update made me feel sick 😔
So funny to hear Hannah mention reactive abuse and then, one story later, Morgan asks "Have you heard about reactive abuse"? x) Not criticizing, just honestly finding it funny, since I'm just like that too sometimes xD
Absolutely LOVE whenever Hannah is on! And holy hell I’ve never screamed out loud at a story before the way I did at story 3. So pissed, we most definitely ride at Dawn!!
Story 3 OP's husband isn't a red flag for abuse. He's an abuser, period. He ignores her boundaries, sexually assaults her in front of her kids HABITUALLY, and the one time she fights back he immediately escalates the physical violence to punching her. She needs to run so fast.
On top of all that, she was naked in the shower, the most vulnerable anyone can be while awake & she's questioning HER reaction 💔
Also showers are slippery she can pop her head open there if she falls. @@candiedolives5340
Counseling is honestly the worst possible course of action with abusers, I really hope she nopes it out of there instead it investing time in that.
Was gonna say, this is not about the slapping. That marriage is gone.
The swiftness that he punched her in the stomach with just shows he was WAITING for an excuse to lay hands on her
Oh my god😢 that’s so true
26:02 this whole convo on reactive abuse was great to hear. thank you for saying "dont judge people on their reaction to abuse" i really needed to hear this. been to harsh on myself.
I really appreciated that quote! Someone commented on instagram about this but I just want to share here because it's new to me-- but the term reactive abuse is a bit outdated and "self-defense" or just "defense" is preferred. I did a bit more research and makes total sense as reactive abuse puts it back on the victim a bit. Learn something new every day
@@TwoHotTakesthank you for sharing!
@@TwoHotTakes great to know! self defense def makes more sense, thanks for the info :D
I've never heard of reactive abuse. Thank you so much for sharing. I had an abusive ex and definitely was the one who was bullied for my reaction to the abuse I endured... many, many times. If anyone is reading this and can relate, please. PLEASE. Get out. That is NOT love.
Story 3- this is the start of physical abuse! Her husband is testing the waters to see how far he can push her and abuse/hit her until it starts being punches, pushes and throwing things! She needs to run and take the kids!! Otherwise the kids will grow up thinking it’s okay to hurt your partner!
TWO PUNCHES. OP said he punched her not once, but twice in the stomache. It’s bruised now. I can’t believe she’s thinking about counseling
YES! 😪
Yes exactly he’s testing her
Not to mention that him slapping her in the first place was sexual assault
I ALWAYS say you cannot be upset with someone’s reaction to your negative behavior. He cannot be mad at her reaction to his negative behavior!!
I’m a female and if I ever was continuously hitting my partner in the balls over and over again after he told me to stop. I would not be surprised if he then hit me in the face. That’s self defense against literal SA. You can’t be hurting other ppl without expecting to be hurt back.
Not encouraging to abuse the abuser. Best thing is to leave. But if your reaction is to defend yourself then good on you. You have every right to.
Veterinary technician here. Horses have the IQ of a four year old human child, and are capable of recognizing human facial features, body language, emotions, and they have the capability of “remembering” who you are the next time they see you if they ever see you again. So, yes. Equines are incredibly, scarily smart lol.
They definitely know who feeds them 😂 lol
They are also incredibly, scarily dumb. 🤣 My OTTB has the emotional maturity to stay calm when a car crashed into the horse runs because I was freaking out and one of us needed to be calm. He also has the idiocy to jump five feet to the left because he forgot I was still brushing him one time.
@@AniaSchutzengel They act like they pay their own vet bills 🤣
@@TwoHotTakes 1000% 😂
Ok, but can they be milked? I’m not out buying horse cheese or horse butter any time soon, but the public has a right to know.
Story 3: I hope they divorce this is domestic violence he has no issue hurting her but the minute she gives him a taste of his own medicine he can't handle it. This relationship sounds incredibly unhealthy for her and the kids seeing it.
Yeah I was like wtf
It was almost as if he was waiting for a reason to punch her.
Hannah talked about the cycle of abuse in the last story but it’s so applicable to this one. He says sorry, suggested therapy, will probably weaponize the language so the next time he physically abuses her again he can convince her to stay…. And round and round they go.
I’m trying to get a loved one to snap out of this cycle before she ends up in the hospital, strapped down with a kid or 💀. Trying to convince the abused to let go is so difficult. I often blame myself for not encouraging her to let go the very 1st time
Honestly she was also in the wrong for hitting him though. She could have left, called the police, made a report, asked him to leave, asked for separation, a divorce, counseling, a thousand other options before resorting to physical violence against your partner. I get that she was pushed to her limits but she didn’t slap him immediately in the moment in the shower, she waited, finished showering, then got out and slapped him across the face. It’s no longer self defense at that point and they were both acting incorrect
This was my relationship with my ex-husband too. He was always slapping my butt and grabbing my breasts. Harassing me, hurting me. When I told him to stop, he did it harder and said it wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t struggle against it. He started teaching our two-year-old to “slap mommy” and laughing when she did. … he abused me in every way and much most serious incidents happened. Now I have a restraining order and we are in the process of getting divorced.
@@stargirl91291he hit her 10 times a day and she's in the wrong for hitting back one single time after weeks of abuse? Sorry she isn't a perfect victim. I'm sure in her place you would have reacted perfectly.
The way my jaw literally dropped when I heard you read the part where he was upset that she used his money without permission. Oh my god. I mean the rest is awful, but that was just next level. If this woman wants help out of this marriage, I'm there. Let's go.
As a Sally I feel attacked 😂
Long ago, people were glad the woman survived the birth, now men are complaining about feet two weeks after
Exactly!! If she is the one staying home in this partnership, I presume she is the one taking care of the home re. a large majority or all of the cleaning/cooking/groceries/appointments etc. So going by his logic, why is he using the clean toilet? Why is he eating the meal she cooked? And why on gods green earth did he turn up at the doctors appointment that SHE booked in and reminded him about?
made me IRATE
I about lost my shit hearing that one.
Story three gave me full body chills and reminds me of my ex husband who would constantly cross my very basic boundaries and then get mad at my reactions. He was abusive, and at a bonfire one time for our anniversary he tipped my chair back and it scared me and I accidentally hit him in the face, not hard, but I still did and I immediately apologized. His reaction was to then shove the chair forward so hard I fell out onto the ground and laugh at me, and then ignored me the rest of the night. RUN GIRL and never ever look back.
Sheesh, that man! 😡 I'm sorry you went through all that.
I'm happy to hear you've become more aware how manipulative your ex was. Everyone deserves to feel safe in their own lives.
I got ovarian cancer at 23. I've had so many surgeries and illnesses and complications. My husband has been with me every single step of the way without fail. My first surgery (a very long surgery) was on his 25th birthday and he stayed even though he couldnt see me after. When you find a good one it really shows.
Damn.. I had a flare from my disease over the weekend started on a Saturday night and I had been puking for 18 Sunday night, my husband was driving my half conscious body to the e.r screaming at me and demanding to know why I didn’t go into my infusion center on Friday and get treatment I was feeling great on Friday and he refuses after all this time to learn that I can’t decided when, where, what time or know when I’m gonna have a flare they come outta nowhere
I literally just walked into the house after the worst longest day to see this posted a minute ago 😭 y’all just made me so happy thank you 🥲
Hopefully ur day gets better friend 🫶
i just got off work eating in my car. watching
Hope your day gets better!!
Awhh hang in there
I felt this too close to home
Story 6, she is abusing him. Making him so scared and now getting him threatened by her brothers is horrible. He needs to get a lawyer and gather evidence to prove his innocence in case she takes it to the point getting the law involved.
This! 100%!!
Yes he needs to leave her and protect himself because she sounds truly crazy. He should also show this post and evidence to her family so they leave him alone and get her help.
It was awfully gross how these women started to suggest that he "must have done something" to garner this reaction. The guest has a pretty big anti-male bias that came out multiple times throughout the podcast. This suggestion was based on nothing other than his gender. There was no evidence in the story to suggest he had done anything negative to his gf.
She has made herself paranoid, and it hurts to see her spiralling without realising it. I used to binge listen true crime podcasts. It's not good to consume that much. I was constantly hearing about serial killers and rapists and it made me mistrust anyone not close to me, without any real cause on their side.
Totally believe the boyfriend did nothing wrong, it's her media consumption that makes her way more anxious. They can do that! For me once I realised how paranoid it made me I stopped listening for a while and a lot of the fears lessened. This girl needs to chill with the podcasts, but it looks like she'd rather wreck her own relationship before fixing the problem.
@@Karamarika I think you have to have the understanding that when people post to AITAH they’re looking to not be called the AH. I think after reading/listening to a certain amount of stories you start to become desensitized and question the legitimacy of the contents of the post. I heard them questioning whether something was being left out because it makes no sense for the partner to be acting like that. I also heard them commend him for his reaction and say they could understand if he did have a bigger reaction why that would be.
Halfway through my pregnancy, I bought a bunch of workout clothes in a size bigger so that I would be comfortable after I had the baby. It’s totally normal to buy some larger sized postpartum clothes.
Plus a hormone called relaxin released during pregnancy to help expand the pelvis to accommodate the fetus, expands all joints. Not every woman experiences this, but some people's shoe sizes literally grows by half size. It doesn't go back either, swelling or not. The space between the metacarpals literally expands.
Also it takes 2 years for hormones to fully regulate back to a pre-pregnancy state. Wait isn't put on overnight and this woman is literally just 2 weeks postpartum... Throw the whole damn husband away!!! He is a weird ass, narcissistic mamas boy. Girl, it's wednesday and the trash is due out on the street!
yes same. im buying a size up so i dont have to feel bad or worry about my size after the baby comes. i know im going to be bigger, its a GIVEN after you grow and birth a whole 7-10lb human for 9 months. You’re supposed to put on weight during that time!!! We are providing nutrients for ourselves and a little person!
I still had my pregnancy pants for years after having my kids... Great for PMS bloating!
Currently 31 weeks and my husband went with me to get some larger clothes for us to go out with friends the next day since none of my clothes fit and I wanted to cancel.
Did a doubletake. Thought YT was showing me the old Hanna episode. Checked the date and was 🤯 new release a day early!!! What a nice surprise.
First story pissed me off. I had a stillborn 7 weeks ago and sadly i not only lost weight during my pregnancy, I have lost weight since the loss.
My husband has been nothing short of heartbroken for our boy and us, we would give up anything to have our child alive, I would rather my partner was heavier with swollen feet.
Be thankful that you have a healthy child and wife.
Some people....😮
I'm so sorry for your loss 🥺
I’m so sorry for your loss
Story 5- I feel like he’s seeing someone else. Especially because he’s cared for her properly before. I have a similar story. My husband was attentive when needed and actually made me go to the hospital with our second baby because he was convinced I was having the baby and I was not. We got to the hospital and I was 8cm. lol so yea he paid attention and cared. There was this season in end of 2018 that this nasty head cold was going around in my area, he had it and was hospitalized for a day, my sister had it and ended up at hospital and then I got it. He took me to the hospital because the pain was so bad in my head. They gave me some pain meds and said they would start the process of releasing me. My husband wanted to leave me so he could get to work. I told him we were leaving soon and to please wait. He called my sister (it was like 5 in the morning) to come and get me, she didn’t answer. He was texting his boss and his boss even said, don’t worry about it, take your time and take care of your wife. He was literally pacing the room because he wanted to leave. A few moments later they released me and he dropped me off at home and rushed off to work. Meanwhile I had two children under 2 at home to take care of. My mom was there while we were at the hospital so she stayed a bit until the pain meds didn’t make me so loopy. 2019 was when he told me he didn’t love me anymore and wanted a divorce. He’s married now to someone that worked with him. So it all makes sense now.
I was thinking the same thing! It explains why he wasn’t answering his phone, why he was so defensive, and why he was blaming her because he ‘had to get gas’. I’m sorry that happened to you
@@lexareimer3341 I agree, sounds like cheating
The way I immediately smiled when I saw who the guest was!
ME TOO 😭
@@zminkx It's always a blast when she's the guest 😆
Me too I hope she is on here more
Yes I love Hannah! I’m a giggler
@@FluteGirl410 Yes please!
Story 6- As someone with OCD,it's clear to see that this girl is going through delusions and paranoia and i feel so so bad for her but i fear it's only going to get worse if she doesn't get professional help.The boyfriend reassuring her that he won't do that is honestly worthless in these situations because reasurance doesn't help with a paranoia type mental disorder,at least not in the long run,no matter how many times you say "no that isn't true",the person's brain keeps repeating "but what if,what if,what if"
Yes she needs therapy and a break from true crime content!!
I was immediately thinking there might be a mental health issue manifesting. Or something happened to her recently that she's not telling anyone about causing this odd behavior. Or, more cynical, she's being manipulative but that's just not sounding right here.
Hopefully her family gets her help if that's the case.
Story 5 pissed me off so much. When I had appendicitis my husband (then boyfriend) was at my side the entire time. From calling nurses, helping me walk into the hospital, staying up all night at the hospital and then sleeping on a armchair, reassuring me, waiting at the hospital the entire time I was having surgery, going out and buying me after surgery food, helping me get things i needed, helping me get dressed, driving slowly and carefully as to avoid putting me in pain on the way home, etc. I literally cannot wrap my mind around why OP’s partner would act like that. It’s like he completely blew her off.
The guy freaking out about his wife's feet is insane! Her feet might go back to how they were before, they also might not, it's fucked up that he doesn't want her to be comfortable in the time that her body is going through all these changes. But also my mum's feet got permanently bigger after she got pregnant with me, she went up a whole shoe size, it can happen. He has no right to return her shoes!
Yeah that guy for sure has a foot fetish and mommy issues and prioritizes his sex drive to her comfort. I hope she gets away from him ❤️
Hope they stay big so she can kick him
Mine have gone up almost a size per child
Right! as soon as he says 'it effects me' and 'my mum said ...' man child!
Story 5. I got the same feeling as Morgan , the husband was not at the gas station/ getting food Alone. Even if he thought the calls were “spam” he can check voicemail box… the hospital most certainly left a voicemail!!!! Regardless any loving and caring spouse would call back immediately…no scratch that any loving and caring spouse would find something at hospital cafeteria!!!!
I wouldn’t find food at the hospital. It’s not that serious for him to go get food. That’s wild. Also phones can be on silent. He obviously didn’t know she would almost die.
How would him being there save her life she’s around the people that can protect her best
@@richardstiffler709 nobody is saying anything about him being there would save her life, but since he’s her husband he’s her next of kin and in urgent medical situations like that he needs to be there in case he needs to make any emergency medical decisions for her since she can’t.
This first story, 2 lines in and I'm fuming! I am almost 2.5 years post partum and my feet are still longer than they used to be. Its entirely normal to go up several sizes after pregnancy. Then he goes on to call it his money?!?!? What the actual 😮 I am flabbergasted
Story 5: I was extremely sick to the point of not being able to put my own pants on, and had to BEG my boyfriend (now ex) to take me to the hospital. He only took me after I got my mom to agree to pick me up. Essentially he agreed cause he felt guilty that she was going out of her way. I was in the hospital by myself for 5 hours (covid times) and later found out he was texting his side piece the entire time 🥰
Needless to say, mind went straight to cheating on this story.
Same.
Story 3 = Case in point for "never ever joke about or have jokes that involve hitting people" - because no matter the intentions it's just on the table now.
MORGAN NOT ME LITERALLY DRIVING AND PLUCKING OUT MY CHIN HAIR LMFAO
Some people listen to music while they drive I pull out chin hairs 😂
@@TwoHotTakesonce you find it, you can't leave it alone!! I keep tweezers in the car for this reason.
I was doing this at my desk yesterday. I always have tweezers in my car, in my drawer, at home… but my dumbass took the ones in me desk home so I had to try and get it with my fake nails.
As soon as she said it I literally grabbed my chin to see if mine had grown back yet 😂 i swear it’s never there and then all of a sudden it’s like an inch long
@YoYo_Ma same on keeping a pair of tweezers in the car hahaha it's like the hair waits until I'm driving to appear.
I recently quit my job and this podcast has been all I’ve been listening to while I get ready in the mornings, do my house chores, cooking cleaning and running errands. Thank you guys for keeping me sane. Some days it’s really hard to just get out of bed but looking forward to listening to all the crazy stories makes me feel less lonely and some of the stories make me feel a lot more “normal”
Day made 😭 and just realized I've been officially listening for 3 -4ish years and this is still my comfort podcast
Me tooooo 💜🫶🏻
Right?!? I can't believe I discovered this during covid 😭 it's been soooo longggg
Story 5 is wild to me. Why would the hospital even let her husband leave?Both times my fiance had to take me to an appointment where I was put under (endoscopy and wisdom teeth). They made it a point that he was not allowed to leave even though he had to stay in the parking lot anyway because of covid. They made him sign a paper before taking me back both times stating he would be on site the entire time. Maybe just a PA thing??
They can't force him to stay. I'm not sure what they expect to accomplish by having someone sign a document saying they won't leave. How would they even enforce or punish that? He was not being legally detained, so of course he was free to leave.
Morally and ethically, he should definitely stay. He has an obligation to his partner. But the medical facility can't do anything other than maybe refuse service for noncompliance.
hannah talking about how her husband waited in the parking lot when she was in the hospital just makes me think of how my boyfriend (of ~7 months at the time) stayed with me from 10:30 pm until his class when i was in the ER for my gallbladder. 😭😭 and then he came back after and spent the two days with me.
24:54 punching ur wife in the stomach is crazyyy 😐😐😐
My jaw dropped when she said that. Wtf.
Stay at home Mum here, my husband would NEVER! He actually encourages me to spend more money on myself and gets weirded out when I ask permission to buy expensive things 😂 I got a good one, I'm aware!
How it works with us is if it's cheap, don't bother him about it. If it's expensive I tell him I want it and he'll do the math and tell me when I can buy it. Like 'Okay, I need 2 paychecks to make room for that.'
@katrinascarlet5637 that's an awesome way to work the finances. My husband is very aware that he's a little impulsive with money and purchases so he much prefers me to be in charge lol Glad ypu got a good one too 😉
As someone who has a hard time apologizing and seeing it as a sign of weakness, this gave me a hard reality check. Idk why I always see it as a blow to my ego
It's only a blow to your ego if someone forces you to apologize. If you decide to apologize on your own, because you know what you did was wrong, it's more of a power move. Now your conscious is clear & the other person has nothing to hold over you because you admitted it AND took responsibility
Orrrr it's just about showing the other person you care about their feelings and don't want to hurt them. Doesn't have to be about power or ego, it's not about you.
Story 1- Someone hold my cell phone & beer. RAGE
“Thank you, Morgan” we all say in unison
Usually I just gasp at one story on every episode, but this episode I gasped every single time. THE AUDACITY!
The last story made me think of munchausen. The girl watching all the true crime may have developed a need to be the victim and receive support and sympathy by making someone else the villain aka a form of munchausen.
Story 4: Say it with me 👏all👏 surgery👏 has👏 risks 👏
That kept going through my head. Like, of course you dont expect complications, but you need to always be prepared and aware of the possibility.
I was arrested due to reactive abuse (being a POC with a white passing partner in WV is a nightmare 0/10 do not recommend) and I suffered the consequences. If you are patient and kind until you aren't, RUN! It ruined a period of time in my life.
same thing happened to a friend. police paid zero mind to the drugs all over his house and arrested her because she hit him after he shoved her into a wall multiple times.
When something happens to you while you have dark(ish?) skin does not mean it is happening to you *because* of the color of your skin. You are projecting your own feelings about race onto other people.
@@Karamarika I'm not projecting, just stating my experience. It did have to do with the color of my skin and my physical features. That cop in particular had previously targeted me when I was committing no crimes. Unless getting snacks at the gas station in the middle of the day is a crime I guess.
@@Karamarikait absolutely can mean that. It can also be a factor while not being the entire picture. It is very nuanced
@RoboticComplexity what did the cop say that made it about the color of your skin? I got accused of jaywalking when I hadn't as a kid. Was that because of the color of my skin?
Bro story 6 I would’ve left her immediately if she tried hiding cameras in my or our place. Absolutely wild that she is spreading rumors now. She needs professional help. Having a partner who can’t trust you at all or is in some paranoid manic episode is DANGEROUS. Either for you or both of you in several different ways.
The cameras in the house is also ILLEGAL in itself. SHE WAS THE ABUSER. The constant smearing, the constant gaslighting, the constant paranoia
Relating to what Hannah said on story 3: Reddit absolutely is a safe place for people in abusive situations. A few months ago I posted my situation on Reddit and the people that commented and reached out to me…. When I say they changed my life, I mean every word of it. Having the perspective from people outside of my situation absolutely changed everything for me. I’m 6 months out of a 10 year abusive relationship and I’ve never been better or happier. And if it weren’t for my obsession with THT, I truly don’t think I would’ve ever been able to post on Reddit and see the opinions that changed everything for me. Thank you guys for all that you do, you have no idea the difference that you have made. ❤️
38:42 my friend got divorced at 28 and she’s GLOWING! I can write an email about the marriage… INSANE
Story 5: I'm glad you got there.
What WAS he really doing? Why wasn't he answering his phone? Why was he actually annoyed at it all taking longer than he expected? Was he really that hungry, or was he... thirsty? Why was he not only defensive afterward, but SO defensive? Maybe it's because he knows he didn't just f*** up a big thing, but f'd it up because was doing wrong... 🤷♀️
I think it’s bc she was over reacting. He could’ve gotten food. I’m not the best person when I’m hungry. He probably just ate and didn’t look at the phone. I do that all the time and miss calls bc it’s in my purse on silent. It’s innocent. And someone shaming them bc they were hungry is wild. He could’ve said sorry but he can also feel annoyed not having his needs met.
@@user-qm3cw5zf8m I don't even know what to say to any of that. If shaming someone for hunger is your takeaway, I guess I just hope that you're never someone's support person in a serious and scary situation.
@@balancingthedark it’s called being dramatic. That’s a real thing. Being there for someone doesn’t mean you have to coddle a grown adult.
@@balancingthedark also it wasn’t a “serious and scary situation” it was routine to go get something removed that didn’t even need to be removed. It wasn’t cancerous. Her body failed her and he couldn’t have predicted that. And she shouldn’t have given him an ultimatum not to get some food. When he already waited hours with her not eating.
@@user-qm3cw5zf8m I understand that a large portion of the male population may as well be big babies, but what reasonable person expects a hospital visit to be a timely thing, even with an appointment? I have no sympathy for a grown man who didn't plan ahead like an adult and eat something before leaving. He probably relies on her to feed him, but she couldn't be the one to take care of him that day. If she only needed a ride, she didn't need him for that. She needed his support and the reassurance that was supposed to come with knowing he was with her. He already took the day off work, meaning he should literally have no other plans. All he had to do was be there for her, and he couldn't even do that. Boohoo, hunger. He'd freaking survive. She almost didn't. There was literally no reason to have his phone on silent or do not disturb. But pretending that was accidentally the case, there was even less reason not to check his phone. At. Least. Once. And that's after he led her to believe that he stay. That's how many f****s he gives. And she could see that. Expressing her feelings is not overreacting. Getting defensive, refusing to apologize, making her sound like a burden, and taking off, all because she has feelings that got hurt by his actions, might just be the reaction of a big baby, though.
I feel like Morgan sensed we were all having bad days and decided to give us the video a day early
Story #4 the friend should no longer be my friend . Trying to gaslight you into ruining your relationship with your partner so she can “ borrow” him . Like what the heck????
This podcast has made my life so much better and easier it opened my eyes to my ex husband and I’m happily divorced. And it helps me to notice so many red flags in guys that want to date me. I will forever be grateful for this podcast.
Story 3 is classic DARVO. He hurts her over and over then the second she responds he jumps on the opportunity to frame himself as the victim. So many abusers do this.
THIS
Yup. And then falls back on the "Oh It's just fun and games" when he gets called out. He clearly doesn't like her, let alone love.
And this story makes me extra mad because my partner and I literally play the same game. If she's in panties or booty shorts- I'll try to sneak in with a swipe or tap. If I'm in boxers or loose gym shorts, she gets me with a honk or juggle. And of course, you always need to add sound effects. A good *SCHWOOP* from me or a solid *H0-HONK* from her.
The difference is that it's a mutual game we both giggle about and we DEFINITELY don't hurt each other.
I hate when these abusive assholes try to take what could be *couples fun* you do with your best friend and instead they weaponize it to another way to assert power. I really hope OP opened her eyes and realized what is going on.
Story 3: I feel like that was abuse before the husband punched her. If your told to stop you stop and he was actually hurting her infront off the kids
Hannah is definitely in my top 3 guests, i love her on the pod!!
Story ONE and I'm already SCREAMING
Ummm ... it's my birthday!!! And y'all posted a day early, what a gift! Also Hannah's special was so great, so good to see her again!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🥳🥳🥳
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! It was my dad's yesterday so you're almost birthday twins!!
@@TwoHotTakes omg no way! It's virgo season everyone ♍️ thanks for the reply!! 🎉🎉
I'm late to the party but Happy Birthday. Hope you had a great one! 🎉
Story 3: Thank you for talking about reactive abuse! It’s a part of domestic violence that is often not talked about. And for those in relationships where you do not feel safe and you are considering leaving… First, do NOT tell the person you are planning on leaving and make sure to do it in a safe and private way. The leaving period is the most dangerous time for victims. Do not make the same mistake I made by telling the person about your plans. Secondly, it does get better and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I PROMISE! I was 18 when I made the decision to leave my abusive marriage (yes, it all happened very quickly) and it was utterly terrifying at first. However, three years later, I am so unbelievably grateful that I got myself out of that situation because things are so much better than I could’ve ever imagined. You can do this!!! Lastly, a lot of people don’t know this but you can text 911 in most areas in the U.S. If you need help but cannot talk in front of your abuser, please text 911! Stay safe!💛
Story #5 is borderline unforgiveable to me.
As someone who has had to sit in the waiting room for hours three times this year while my partner has had a few different procedures, I can't even FATHOM considering leaving the hospital the way he did. I went for a short walk around the neighborhood during the one procedure, but was CONSTANTLY checking my phone for updates, and cut the walk shorter than I needed to out of sheer anxiety of not being there if I was needed.
For every procedure, I brought a protein shake mixed with my coffee so I wouldn't be super hungry. For the longest one, I brought another snack too. OP's husband knew what time the procedure was. He could have brought snacks. He could have gotten food at the hospital (which in my experience is actually very inexpensive!). He could have sucked it up and waited for an hour like OP suggested.
I get it: sitting in a waiting room sucks. And afterwards, having to care for your recovering partner while also taking over all the housework and other responsibilities sucks. Sometimes they'll get grumpy from the pain and fatigue, and that sucks. It's all stressful, it's tiring, and a lot of it SUCKS. But the potential for situations like this is part of what you sign up for when you choose someone you want to share life with. And you do it.
If I were OP, I'd be strongly considering divorce, and I do not take that lightly.
My gosh, as someone who struggled with pregnancy feet with my pregnancy last year, that first story has me FUMING
Right?! What an ASSHOLE!
I just lost my husband of 10 years, 2 weeks ago. I’m a widow at 31! I had 4 babies with this man! He was my best friend and I miss him so much! He would send me the episodes the moment they dropped. We listened to every episode together while I was at home being a mom and he was working. This is the first episode I’ve listened to without him. I miss him. ❤️
For the ballerina farm story, it came out that the writer was heavily gearing the article towards their biases. The wife (can’t remember her name) came out and said that she loves her life and wouldn’t give it up or change things. I think she was actually really upset by the article because it made her seem unhappy in her life for having given up the ballerina life when she’s actually really happy
Came to say this! And the author actually released something else that admitted to her biased and how she was gearing the article towards the "darkness of trad wives", which, the ballerina farms lady hates being referred to as a trad wife.
Thankyou!!!!!!! Came to say this .
he gave her an egg apron for her birthday and she literally looked like she was dissociating from discomfort
@rebeccasmekki708 first, this is going to be long, so sorry in advance! And it wasn't the best gift, but it was something she had mentioned wanting before. My husband got me a vacuum for Christmas because I had mentioned I wanted one like it. Was it the best gift? No, but he put thought into it. It also wasn't mentioned that she has traveled like three times to other countries just this year, so she isn't isolated like the article makes it seem.
Their relationship isn't perfect, no relationship is. But the author literally made the article to specifically make ballerina farms (and therefore "trad wives") look bad. The woman from ballerina farms (also can't remember her name) has said several times in the past and present that she does not like to be called a trad wife and the author calls her "the queen of trad wives". Does that sound like someone who is trying to relay the unbiased truth?
We don't know the whole story, who knows if we ever will, but I don't trust the article.
Whether the author was biased doesn’t change the facts about their relationship. She was on track to be a successful ballerina and he proposed to her very quickly and then started living they started living this trad wife lifestyle. It’s concerning.
story 6- as someone who has experienced being out of touch with reality, i can totally see the Girlfriend being in the first stages of delusional paranoia. she sounds obsessive and spiraling :( i feel bad for both of them if that’s the case.
Something I learned a few years ago - the trick with singing Happy Birthday is to start the first note as low as you can, so that high note isn't unreachable. 🎉
morgan u should have mia maples on as a guest !!!!! y’all would click sooooo well
bf and I agree in our relationship “Don’t say sorry just don’t do it” obviously an apology is a great way to acknowledge, but more importantly the learning. Also I’m compelled to say sorry when I breath sometimes, so that kind of acknowledgement brings it to understanding and communication instead of a compulsion
Pregnancy relaxes the tendons in the feet, making them flatter and bigger. Sometimes they go back, sometimes they don't.
My son’s father left me alone at the hospital after a c-section. I woke up in a dark room with a nurse telling me I lost a lot of blood, was taking too long to wake up, and my baby had complications and needed to go to NICU. And instead of staying with us his father decided to go home and go to sleep. Ending our romantic relationship was the easiest decision I’ve ever made.
Morgan singing "Cumpleaños Feliz" is everything I needed today!😌❤
WE RIDE AT DAWN! We need more Hannah! Even with heavy stories I was laughing so hard for most of it ❤
You should definitely pick a shelter each month and have a different animal from those shelters each week posted somewhere in the video. That would be such a good way to get attention for animals.
THIS!!!
Or domestic abuse shelters since a lot of these stories are about abuse
On story 5 thank you so much for putting it that way when it comes to sorry. Most of my life I had believed that sorry was an admission of malicious intent.
I’m glad you’ve learned otherwise. & I’m sorry you were led to believe that for so long because that is absolutely NOT what an apology represents
story 5 is sad asf . She almost died and his pride is really high. She needs to leave .
Same! Unfortunately I grew up with a parent who could never say sorry, but always wanted you to. They also would say you were “mean” for setting boundaries. If you did apologize (that their feelings were hurt), it would be used against you later as admission of guilt. It is so difficult for me to say it now😭
Second story reminded me of another story where op's mum and sister wanted to announce her engagement and mum basically forced op coz she paid for everything. However op's sister got shunned, there were no cheers or applause. The guests treated the sister like she was very tacky and the mum blamed op, like she masterminded the guests treatment of the sister who's usually the golden child but op said it was her own doing. It was a very satisfying outcome.
The QUEEN has posted!
Omg!!!! Day made!!! Also - every time you mention the tour I get so freaking excited all over again! Can’t wait to see you in FL ❤
This just made my day!
Morgan saying tatanka 🥺 LOVE LOVE LOVE the Dakota language appreciation 🫶🏼
Hanna is one of my favourite guest you have! She’s just so real 😂😂
6 minutes in and Hannah is saying “Louis Vuitton” but as a giggler is KNOW she means Louboutins 😂😂
“You’re neck in neck” was a missed opportunity to say you’re “toe to toe” 🤣
Listening to this while recovering from having my baby mid July. I was pumped with so many iv’s that the shoes I walked in didn’t not fit me to leave the hospital. I had bought wide ones too. The first story would have set me off. My feet are still swollen two months later but I would also ride at dawn for her. I don’t like to ask for things so I had everything set so I would not have to ask my husband to look for shoes for me. I don’t think op would go look for shoes for her if she didn’t get them before hand.
One of my absolute favourite guests you've had so far, such good chemistry with you two!
I remember the “happy happy birthday from all of us to you, we wish it was our birthday so we can party too, HEY!” From Emperors New Groove 😂 I sing it for my son’s birthday every year.
I’m going through so much right now and my favorite thing is to turn this podcast on and just either clean the house, organize and it really helps get me through. I’m a silent viewer but i hope you continue this for a long time!! Y’all always bring on hilarious guests too
Story 1. Weight loss tip for the wife!
Dump your absolute waster of a husband. And viola! 200+lb instantly lost. Chefs kiss!
Honestly if someone did that at my wedding and my husband’s family started booing them, I would feel like so accepted by them in that moment. The story gave me like that warm feeling. I honestly hope they did it without being asked cause I bet the bride felt so loved by her new family in the moment
A whole day early MORGAN 😮😆
Edit: where do I even START EITH STORY ONE, this man is DISGUSTING, her feet are swollen, she needs bigger shoes, just because they might shrink down or she might lose weight doesn’t mean she doesn’t need shoes that fit her NOW as she is, I can’t even with this man
Story 5: When i had appendicitis I had to stay overnight at the hospital bc the surgeon wouldn’t be there until the morning. My bf slept in the room even though I told him he could go home and sleep in our bed. He refused bc he wanted to make sure he saw me and comforted me before I went into surgery. If he wanted to, he would!
Story 1 - I’ve had 2 babies. My feet went from a 9 to a 9.5 to a 10. I gained weight after my last pregnancy, and now I’ve currently lost more than I’ve ever lost and I’m now back at my pre pregnancy weight. MY FEET ARE STILL A SIZE 10. It’s not water retention, it’s not weight gain.. sometimes this is just what happens when you have babies. To be so rude about such a small thing is WILD.
Every time Morgan cries on an episode I also immediately start crying. Why are Hannah and her Husband the cutest?!?!
Story6: something like that happened to me, but in a good way, I listen to a lot of true crime so every time I leave someone or step out of the room I say I love them just so they know
Same, I always try to wish people well too, like "stay safe" 😅
Same, ever since COVID I say that to everyone and haven't stopped. I've had random people tell me that haven't heard concern for themselves in years and really appreciate it so I'll never stop now lol
Hannah is one of my absolute favourite guests. Thank you for bringing her! ❤
She said “why’d they put such a high note in the most popular song in America?” 😭😂😂
Always love when Hannah is on here
STAAHHHPPPP I literally just randomly decided to check your channel even knowing today was Wednesday, so my jaw dropped when I saw that a new video was posted 20mins ago 😱😱😱
36:13 I really needed to hear what you guys were saying about how important it is to find the right person for you. I just recently ended my relationship with my boyfriend of 5 years (we’re both 20) and I’ve been struggling. Ur podcast truly makes a difference 🥰
There's a good chance you're going to become a completely different person in the next 5 years anyways. I suggest reading Loud by Drew Afualo because there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single & you'll probably meet the right one for you when you least expect it. Focus on getting to know yourself & platonic relationships. As a 36 year old...you have SO MUCH time for romance still.
My horse doesn’t cuddle me when I’m upset. He slaps me with his tail and basically tells me to buck up. Which I need. Sometimes my mare will cuddle. But if I don’t have food she walks away
I can tell you enjoy Hannah’s presence! Always an amazing video with her!
Oh. My. Fking. GOD. I had the absolute WORST DAY and this is making me cry I'm so grateful.
YAY! We love when Hannah is here!! Fav guest ❤
45:13 block all of them and move on with life. Wtf
Literally why are their “friends” taking sides ? For what?
Story 3: I don’t trust that he’ll do couples therapy! I’m so scared for her believing that. He’s going to tell a therapist that he continues to touch her inappropriately after repeatedly being told “it hurts”, “I’m not comfortable”, “not in front of the kids” ???? He’s going to explain that? Admit to sexually abusing her and then punching her in the stomach?! He’s probably one of those men that when he slapped her in the front he thought “this is mine.” Same with the butt stuff. He doesn’t want any other man to be able to touch her like that so of course he’s not leaving her! I hope she doesn’t let him talk his way out of couples therapy! She NEEDS to have him admit what he’s been doing to an outside person, especially a professional. The update made me feel sick 😔
So funny to hear Hannah mention reactive abuse and then, one story later, Morgan asks "Have you heard about reactive abuse"? x)
Not criticizing, just honestly finding it funny, since I'm just like that too sometimes xD
Absolutely LOVE whenever Hannah is on!
And holy hell I’ve never screamed out loud at a story before the way I did at story 3. So pissed, we most definitely ride at Dawn!!
The way you say "tour" is so cute 😂
I love Hannah!! This is getting me through my work day!
Feet swelling is normal after pregnancy. The swelling goes down but I literally went up a shoe size size forever.
'take the compliment' :D love this level of appreciation