“Throw out the ideal, and build something real” is the takeaway from this. Good advice that unfortunately may take a few broken hearts and a divorce to learn.
Sometimes it taking the road most travels won’t lead to anything. Sometimes you got to take the dirt road to get the waterfall. It’s rocky and rough but the journey is worth the reward.
No, RUclips said it's possible that love can happen if you seek it. But, consciously while working on yourself. And, that's not a promise that you'll absolutely find love. But, you wouldn't regret it if you didn't.
I used to think that finding “the one” would be the solution to all my problems, but I’ve learned that love isn’t perfect or easy, as it takes a lot of effort, and it’s not going to fix everything. Just gotta work on myself first instead of hoping someone else will make me feel complete.
No one can "make you feel complete" other than you. You're setting yourself up for disappointment and failure if you think someone else is supposed to complete you. And, what a burden to lay on someone else who is also carrying their own strengths and doubts.
@k2sworld exactly. True love is pretty much like a coop mode in a video game. The game itself is already fun and fulfilling when played solo, but playing coop with a partner just gives a different experience of the same game. It can make the game easier or hard in certain aspects, but it doesn't necessarily make the experience "better" or "worse."
Some years ago I was hopelessly entranced by so many different things I could learn, but now anything that isn't some scientific innovation or related to technology or hard sciences feels like "yeah, I've seen/thought that before"
I've taken myself out of the dating pool, no hardships, no break ups, no fights, sure there are things that require a partner, but peace of mind is hard to achieve and hard to give up. Haven't met a single person in years worth the trouble of a second date, so yeah...I'm better off alone
I think it’s tied to the act of attempting to treat it as if you’re finding someone. It’s because you are deep down are still hoping this is the one. It means you haven’t truly committed to being single. You won’t find “the one” or of someone of worth until you do gain a willingness to be single. Time moves faster. And someone looking will find you. Don’t be someone looking be someone that can be found.
@alephink Ppl can't connect with others who are not connected with themselves...that's pretty much everyone at this point due to the unnatural way of living & unhealthy lifestyle Connect with yourself first, get to know who you are....the rest may follow...or not....we don't know.
Its better to want a relationship and not have it than to have it and not want it. Everyone needs to learn this on their own tho, “the grass is always greener on the other side” so doesn’t really matter which side you’re on, you’ll still wonder if you’re missing something.
One who is able to be happy and content while being alone is one who would make a good partner because they already know how to handle being with the most difficult partner.
You have to love yourself first before trying to find someone to love. Your self esteem will get crushed otherwise, they will twist your words or use your weaknesses to gain ground when a relationship is supposed to be equal footing. That’s why some men stop trying, give up relationships and settle for 1 night stands or stay single
Next year I will celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary. We are ok, thing change with age, sometimes a bit up, sometimes a bit down. I wouldn't change anything.
While I understand why many men nowadays choose to remain single, what I however do fear is that this topic about remaining single just helps men to stay where they are and not take any more chances, because it's mostly the negatives and risks that get promoted. It's a rampant topic on the web, and honestly, I'm concerned.
I think "chance" is a very misleading and potentially dangerous concept. In my experience, it's far easier to believe that relationships are flat-out impossible because you're going to fail A LOT. Like you're going to fail way more than you succeed. It's not a matter of "trying until you succeed", because you also have limited energy and you're going to get mentally and emotionally exhausted VERY quickly, and that's a pain that almost never heals. You need to carefully manage your "resources" and perform cost-benefit analysis. You can't throw yourself at every single person you like and expect it to work even 90% of the time -- that's like playing every single lottery and expecting to win in the first few attempts. Pain from rejection and exhaustion build up. We're not infinite wells of energy, we're constrained by our minds, bodies, and emotions. I believe that choosing to take chances is just as dangerous and unhealthy as choosing not to. Choosing not to take those chances is better because you conserve resources that otherwise would be highly likely to be wasted otherwise. Self-help advice usually revolves around the idea of "don't think, just ask them out" but that makes the very unsound, illogical, and unsafe assumption that it will always bring progress. Rejection isn't what wears people down, it's the loss of energy that does. The information/experience you gain from rejection almost always tends to be insufficient to make up for the what you lost.
@@samueleborn9909 I've taken a lot of chances in my life. I've been in love in several serious relationships, traveled to 23 countries, lived off grid alone, worked two of my dream jobs, plus multiple other achievements all before 35 years old. After experiencing all those things and their ups and down, I currently strive for the least amount of up and down and just steady peace. I'm content with not taking major chances anymore.
It seems to me the modern world often presents an unrealistic ideal of what love is, a fantasy version of it. It sets our expectations much too high and inevitably most of us will be disappointed. Instead, we should strive toward realistic expectations, forgiveness, and patience. Nothing is perfect and never will be.
Choosing to remain single is a persons way of saying they just want peace in their life without the need of validation from another person. Self Love is the key!
The truth is, you are alone. Born that way and will go out that way. You are useless to anyone if you are not, first, happy being alone and in your aloneness. But, once you love being alone, you soon realize that adding someone else takes time away from the most important person in your life; YOU. Love is a drug and has all the same affects drugs do. If you chose to do the drug of love, know that one day, you will exhibit all the behaviors of a drug addict, especially when the drug dealer stops giving you the drug. At some point, at some age or after enough pain and loss, you realize that you just don't want to be dependent on the drug or be controlled and manipulated by it anymore and move on. I know I did and I am MUCH happier now.
Romance and love are completely different animals. To be "in love" (romance) is different from love proper. The first is just infatuation, whereas the latter is deeply rooted in care and respect. I think part of the issue is that most people can't distinguish these since we misuse the same word for it ("love"). Also, there's the problem where everyone wants to be loved, but no one knows truly what that means, let alone how to love back in turn. Because love is not merely a noun, but a verb also. To love is a choice, an action, not a feeling. Lastly, I agree that the "One" is a very destructive concept if meant to represent another person. The closest thing to the "one" we can ever hope to achieve is within ourselves.
Find someone who can try to work with you through whatever come up … that is love . Because you have no idea what’s coming towards you in life 😌 Life will continue to surprise and shock us … so someone who will continue holding hands through it all is the perfect companion.
Funny this is recommended to me the same day that a real messy divorce went viral in my country that led to the man taking his own life. I dreaded being alone in love and intimacy, now I realise that loving yourself should be the primary goal.
This video goes deeper than just breaking the illusion of perfect relationships, it's applicable to expectations as a whole, the pitfall into deep sadness is believing that happiness and success are guaranteed and that those things also have clear aesthetic. I really felt something deeply with this video, thank you.
I've been married for 14 years and, like any other couple, we have had our ups and downs. Lately we've been struggling, but we have stayed together. The reality is that life apart would be far more difficult than life together.
Your perspectives are always intriguing to me and I think they are worth listening to. I love how you phrase your words and the video content synchronises and completes what you try to complete. You even talk about your sponsors in a unique way and how you blend it in your videos.
I used to be the type who coped and said that I don’t need a relationship because it’s just gonna drain my time, happiness and emotions. However, I’ve been in a relationship for the past 6 months and even though it has its ups and downs, i don’t regret my choice at all. Right now, we’re going thru a bit of a rough patch but even then ik that this is just how it works. It’s hard to find the right person for you and there’s bound to be mistakes made along the way. But i believe that im on the right track and Im gonna give my all to continue down it.
The irony is every time I start feeling at peace, and even happy being single: some one wants to start talking to me, and eventually be in a relationship with me😂
That’s just the way it plays out. Just got to sort through the bad apples until one catches your eye. Being able tie step back and excepting being single is the best way to get a partner. People need to stop looking and just step back and let themselves get found.
I found that each time I had my heart broken, the time to recover was longer than the recovery from the previous heartbreak. I have had so many that I no longer am willing to try again. I am cool with that and my life is very peaceful.
My soulmate is a beautiful Native American woman who has a lot of issues that come with her but we literally need each other everyday and we are practically in love. I always tell her that I hope we can stay in love after this life and into the next because there's no world or universe where I can be happy without her.
I'm glad this video exists. I have always felt this way about life, i never felt like i needed to have love after living alone for a couple years. Then i met someone, and as much as i love them, i know im okay without them. But they do make things more enjoyable, so why not try. I see a lot of comments about people choosing to be single because they were hurt. I've had people walk away as fast as they came and changed my world for those moments. But I always knew that people come and go, and their exits never made me feel like i needed to only be alone for peace. Both give me the same amount of comfort to an extent. I always felt like i was wrong for not being too hurt about break-ups even when i gave my all. This video just helps put it in words for me. Realizing life is a guaranteed up and down battle in many ways which can hurt a person, its comforting that it means im not unlucky. If this partner doesnt work out, thats okay, it happens to all of us, so ill just accept the terms if ill be here for a while. Great video man!
Same. Got my self-retirement plan all set up so no one has to take care of me in "old age" or if I become unable to take care of myself in some capacity.
Believe me guyz....find someone who loves you back and is compatible with you in the longrun.... don't rush into immediate decisions. It is beautiful when you have someone to share your life with. Loneliness sucks !
Exactly, I just met the love of my life not so long ago and she gives me peace and makes me happy as I do the same to her. I do admit it is difficult to find that rare perfect woman who doesn't give you much trouble if none at all. I was single my whole life and had only dated once, rejected 2 girls, been rejected twice and was friendzoned for most of my life until I stopped trying/caring and worked on myself. Think that's what people need to do more than anything, work on themselves and let the right person find them. Damn I feel corny now But more than anything I got tired of being alone, I was bored as I was already satisfied with myself and started feeling lonely again right before I ran into my now girlfriend
Love is the same as friendship in the sense that you gotta stick by your friends and if they truly care for you they'll do the same. The one is the person who chooses to stick with you and grow, not the person who makes you feel validated
This might be my favorite video in the world. I am grateful to have found it at this time. It is too late to change the choices I've made about love before, but now I am equipped to choose differently. I don't know what it means to me yet. But thank you for this video, all the same.
Really great and inspirational video. Thank you for posting today. I have been ruminating on this for sometime as I am 31 today and peers and colleagues are tying the knot and getting married. I often question my role in this life. And wonder if I am fit for the demands of social norms or if I am meant to be different in my own way. Find content with the lot I have been assigned.
ive had to learn the hard way that love is an additional thing shared with that person. I learned to do my best to love myself. To not bring down the person you want to be with. Support and being there is what counts. Timing can rip it apart. Do what you love and love can follow. Dont chase it is all.
I loved this episode. There is a fantasy as to what we portray love/relationship to be. This Disney, Hallmark perfect romance movie, when in reality love takes work and effort. It's accepting who we pick isn't going to be this perfect, that they can't read your mind. To an extent I am a romantic, but at the same time like in life, we need those down moments to make the up moments just as meaningful and impactful. Bailing out of a relationship because of something trivial or because after a few years, ya aren't in love anymore, to me is a lack of effort to make things work.
Having a "meaningful" i.e. happy life is something you can do with or without a relationship. Happiness never originates in an externality you do not control -- it's the result of having inspiring long term goals, making choices progressing you in the direction of those goals, and experiencing increasing satisfaction with that progress in the present. A romantic relationship is simply one of many vehicles in which you can do that. Any such vehicle may leave you stranded on the roadside at which point you accept it's time consider what other vehicle may be more appropriate to your purpose. The meaning is the behavior of the driver, not the vehicle.
So the video I clicked on was called "Simple signs you should stay single". The video I'm watching is apparently titled "How love changes your brain - the dark side of relationships". I'm so fed up of algorithms and creators changing their titles and thumbnails for them. It's all just empty clickbait content.
To those who are watching this video: May you and your loved ones be blessed with inner peace, enlightenment, boundless compassion, and the wisdom to navigate life's journey with grace and tranquility. May your hearts be light, your spirits strong, and your days filled with serenity and joy.
I see many people around me, friends and strangers alike, in happy and stable relationships. They have no idea we exist. Thus, I get this feeling that I am but a part of a community, a community of people struggling with love. We watch videos like this one, consume similar content of the same nature across other mediums, and look for reasons to confirm our already developed biases on the reality of love. I think it’s important to understand that this generation isn’t doomed, that the men, women of today aren’t screwed up and incapable of love. We’re just getting through something. I believe that losing hope, permanently altering behaviors, and giving up are all terrible ideas. After all… I see many people around me, friends and strangers alike, in happy and stable relationships. They have no idea we exist.
Hey the kicker is you are fighting yourself. Let desperation eat away at you. Give yourself a break. Focus on yourself. Stop looking for someone. If you’re able to not keep looking for someone you leave yourself open to be found. Just expect what life is and take yourself out to a restaurant. Treat yourself and work on yourself. Don’t worry about what is happening around you. One you have excepted being single time goes by faster. You won’t be lost and in pain. And someone lost looking might just find you. Like how you treat yourself. Ask to come with you to a restaurant you like. Play a game with you. Then before you know it you will have it. Without even expecting it. This is the way to a healthy relationship. Give up on looking and just look at yourself. Take care of yourself.
This is a bit off-topic but I just wanted to share since everybody is writing their stories. I'm 26 years old and never been in a relationship. Years go by and I don't even get a hug. I'm a girl and have been dealing with an eating disorder for a long time which isolated me even more. For some reason though, day by day I feel less worried. I love reading books and if I manage to starve for a long time, classical music starts to sound painfully majestic. I try to think that so long as I have access to books, life shall be tolerable. My father is an orthodox priest and when I was younger he said: I named you after Saint Macrine, she was a Christian nun, but the name itself means distressed, futile and abandoned. Somewhere along the lines, I realised that I'm living up to my name.
😌 Already mastered The Art of Detachment 🤣 people in the comment section want their fantasies to be real 😌 I ain't never falling for no genjutsu 😏 Philosophy is enlightening
Just seeing the names of videos like this always make me sad. I have two wonderful adult children. They are the light of my life. That kind of love just can't be found by staying single. Well, I guess if you have children out of wedlock, but I don't recommend that. Anyway, I'll move along now as I see I'm probably in the minority here.
I agree. That is a very different relationship but it is exclusively tied to individual willingness to go through the struggle to get it. It’s worth it. I think the video is touching on the loneliness epidemic more. The ability to accept being single is the most crucial way to find a partner. Once you can accept being single and stop looking you let yourself be found.
Wtf the simple act of exploring the world and meeting souls is a wonder in itself. Just date, not to grab something, to gain sex, to own a body in your arms, but to offer your love, your care, your attention, like you would do to a flower or an animal.
I'm a bipolar (/and) borderliner and the last thing I need is romantic love. It just hurts. I need a partner who is there for me and on the other side, I can care for him. But the important thing is, we don't own our partners. He maybe can't understand my inner world, but he is there, because he wants it. And so I do for him. This would be nice. Idk if I ever found someone like this again. And if not, maybe in next life or in heaven, whatever.
The fact that the title went from *how to know if someone truly loves you" to why you should stay single" we know Pursuit of Wonder is just trying to mess with our emotions LMAO
You love her But she loves him And he loves somebody else You just can't win And so it goes Til the day you die This thing they call love It's gonna make you cry I've had the blues The reds and the pinks One thing for sure Love stinks
Build your values, and find those who align with them, make every little choice in your life count, because everything builds and adds to who you end up being, and continue to evolve into.
I haven't watched the video yet, but I love the title. I've recently ended a long term relationship, and this seems so fitting to my situation! I should probably remain single!
Just give is a year. Don’t think about it. Don’t look for someone because everyone else is. Let yourself be found. To many people are fighting to find something that isn’t there. Once you accept being single time will move so quickly that before you know it someone will fall into your lap. Give is a year. Focus on yourself and take yourself out to a restaurant here or there.
Our necessities has 4 sub forces that pull us, food/hydration, shelter, interaction and procreation. Are going to be the 4 subtle forces that pull them in order to feel their necessities are satisfied. You can choose to alter these forces, which seems to make humans pretty unique. But, the point of a relationship should help your assistance in maintaining these 4 necessities, and will support you to achieve all of these 4 basis that seem to be the human law we abide by. So as much as there is nothing wrong with searching for a person who meets these basis, and then also brings the opportunity for excess. Which brings a chemistry that is better suited for these subtle urges that once aligned, usually makes pretty happy when they get it. But we have so many things pulling us in different directions and out of alignment, that we get trauma instead. So really, yes you don't know which person will fulfill that, but at least you should know, when someone makes you feel aligned, probably not a good idea to think there is something better then that. Which for vanity reasons, seems holding us back.
I learned as a child from Pokémon’s red / blue/ yellow that’s you don’t get what you want. You get what you need and you keep it moving, or else you’ll die a hungry wanting ghost.
Survival in this current world and economy is like treading water. So why tie a ball and chain around your neck lol? Just date and do short term relationships.
havent seen the video yet, but you shouldnt be alone (i mean romantically*). if you think about it, its not just good for you as a person, but also for the society as a whole
This channel should be called the pursuit of melancholy and the infinite sadness.
Either you didn't watch the entire video or you didn't understand it.
Smashing Pumpkins...
exactly what i was thibking but i guess it’s technically Mellon Collie?
How can you know happiness without sadness?
great album
“Throw out the ideal, and build something real” is the takeaway from this. Good advice that unfortunately may take a few broken hearts and a divorce to learn.
Sometimes it taking the road most travels won’t lead to anything. Sometimes you got to take the dirt road to get the waterfall. It’s rocky and rough but the journey is worth the reward.
Did you really learn something new, honestly? I bet all of us were aware of this 'wisdom'.
@@Vladimyrfulobjectively, we all know this on some level...
Even RUclips now is telling me just to give up
Life sucks
ikr
Not youtube. But the creator.
Love yourself.
No, RUclips said it's possible that love can happen if you seek it. But, consciously while working on yourself. And, that's not a promise that you'll absolutely find love. But, you wouldn't regret it if you didn't.
I used to think that finding “the one” would be the solution to all my problems, but I’ve learned that love isn’t perfect or easy, as it takes a lot of effort, and it’s not going to fix everything. Just gotta work on myself first instead of hoping someone else will make me feel complete.
Finally, somebody who uses common sense congratulations. You’re one of the few people who understand this meaning and yes, it’s a lot of work.
No one can "make you feel complete" other than you. You're setting yourself up for disappointment and failure if you think someone else is supposed to complete you. And, what a burden to lay on someone else who is also carrying their own strengths and doubts.
@k2sworld exactly. True love is pretty much like a coop mode in a video game. The game itself is already fun and fulfilling when played solo, but playing coop with a partner just gives a different experience of the same game. It can make the game easier or hard in certain aspects, but it doesn't necessarily make the experience "better" or "worse."
The true meaning of "the one" is actually what you have said
What the hell? dude it is a COMMON SENSE. LITERALLY EVERY PEOPLE NOW THIS.
i like how i open these up hoping to learn profound life lessons, but just end up realizing that i already knew everything presented in the video
Some years ago I was hopelessly entranced by so many different things I could learn, but now anything that isn't some scientific innovation or related to technology or hard sciences feels like "yeah, I've seen/thought that before"
you are a wise man, we all have so much to learn from you
@@matyasnovak9539 i assure you i'm not... i'm not even a grown man...
@@SenhorAlien maybe try focusing on creating things instead!!
@@matyasnovak9539 i assure you i am not 😅
I've taken myself out of the dating pool, no hardships, no break ups, no fights, sure there are things that require a partner, but peace of mind is hard to achieve and hard to give up. Haven't met a single person in years worth the trouble of a second date, so yeah...I'm better off alone
I think it’s tied to the act of attempting to treat it as if you’re finding someone. It’s because you are deep down are still hoping this is the one. It means you haven’t truly committed to being single. You won’t find “the one” or of someone of worth until you do gain a willingness to be single. Time moves faster. And someone looking will find you. Don’t be someone looking be someone that can be found.
@@coffeejunkie4193 so the other person needs to be the one looking? Why should that person suffer and go through that?
@alephink
Ppl can't connect with others who are not connected with themselves...that's pretty much everyone at this point due to the unnatural way of living & unhealthy lifestyle
Connect with yourself first, get to know who you are....the rest may follow...or not....we don't know.
Most men I know value their peace more than anything dating has to offer. So they choose to remain single
most men you know aren't miserable, i imagine
sadly most men you DON'T know are...
Most men are single, because they have no options compared to the average woman.
It took me 5 serious relationships to realize nobody is better company than myself. I don't add stress to my life, I remove it.
Its better to want a relationship and not have it than to have it and not want it.
Everyone needs to learn this on their own tho, “the grass is always greener on the other side” so doesn’t really matter which side you’re on, you’ll still wonder if you’re missing something.
That’s called making a virtue out of necessity 😂
It was when I learned to fully accept being alone that I finally stopped feeling lonely.
Agreed, well said
This is literally it. How can you expect people to love being with you, when you can’t love being with yourself.
One who is able to be happy and content while being alone is one who would make a good partner because they already know how to handle being with the most difficult partner.
Me to mate i think its the thought process thats make the whole difference in my 23 years of life i have never been loved by a girl
You have to love yourself first before trying to find someone to love. Your self esteem will get crushed otherwise, they will twist your words or use your weaknesses to gain ground when a relationship is supposed to be equal footing. That’s why some men stop trying, give up relationships and settle for 1 night stands or stay single
Next year I will celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary. We are ok, thing change with age, sometimes a bit up, sometimes a bit down. I wouldn't change anything.
💜
My Ma would say, “Make sure you ‘like’ the person you’re going to marry more than you ‘love’ them; with time love fades.”
While I understand why many men nowadays choose to remain single, what I however do fear is that this topic about remaining single just helps men to stay where they are and not take any more chances, because it's mostly the negatives and risks that get promoted. It's a rampant topic on the web, and honestly, I'm concerned.
I agree. This really seems to be used as an excuse to not take chances anymore. It does not bode well for social wellbeing
I think "chance" is a very misleading and potentially dangerous concept. In my experience, it's far easier to believe that relationships are flat-out impossible because you're going to fail A LOT. Like you're going to fail way more than you succeed. It's not a matter of "trying until you succeed", because you also have limited energy and you're going to get mentally and emotionally exhausted VERY quickly, and that's a pain that almost never heals. You need to carefully manage your "resources" and perform cost-benefit analysis. You can't throw yourself at every single person you like and expect it to work even 90% of the time -- that's like playing every single lottery and expecting to win in the first few attempts. Pain from rejection and exhaustion build up. We're not infinite wells of energy, we're constrained by our minds, bodies, and emotions.
I believe that choosing to take chances is just as dangerous and unhealthy as choosing not to. Choosing not to take those chances is better because you conserve resources that otherwise would be highly likely to be wasted otherwise. Self-help advice usually revolves around the idea of "don't think, just ask them out" but that makes the very unsound, illogical, and unsafe assumption that it will always bring progress. Rejection isn't what wears people down, it's the loss of energy that does. The information/experience you gain from rejection almost always tends to be insufficient to make up for the what you lost.
@@samueleborn9909 I've taken a lot of chances in my life. I've been in love in several serious relationships, traveled to 23 countries, lived off grid alone, worked two of my dream jobs, plus multiple other achievements all before 35 years old. After experiencing all those things and their ups and down, I currently strive for the least amount of up and down and just steady peace. I'm content with not taking major chances anymore.
It seems to me the modern world often presents an unrealistic ideal of what love is, a fantasy version of it. It sets our expectations much too high and inevitably most of us will be disappointed. Instead, we should strive toward realistic expectations, forgiveness, and patience. Nothing is perfect and never will be.
@anachronistofer I agree ☝🏾💯. Our modern conception of love is unrealistic.
Choosing to remain single is a persons way of saying they just want peace in their life without the need of validation from another person. Self Love is the key!
This is exactly where I’m at right now. I haven’t put any effort in dating at all
The truth is, you are alone. Born that way and will go out that way. You are useless to anyone if you are not, first, happy being alone and in your aloneness. But, once you love being alone, you soon realize that adding someone else takes time away from the most important person in your life; YOU. Love is a drug and has all the same affects drugs do. If you chose to do the drug of love, know that one day, you will exhibit all the behaviors of a drug addict, especially when the drug dealer stops giving you the drug. At some point, at some age or after enough pain and loss, you realize that you just don't want to be dependent on the drug or be controlled and manipulated by it anymore and move on. I know I did and I am MUCH happier now.
Wish I could be an emotionless being of logic. But I am not. To pursue love is how a human was born to be.
The encouragment I need in this hour, havin been single my whole life
U r not alone fr
man, your voice cadence is just perfect for the subject matter
I actually thought this was beautiful. Ultimately love is a decision we make everyday.
Soo true ❤
Romance and love are completely different animals. To be "in love" (romance) is different from love proper. The first is just infatuation, whereas the latter is deeply rooted in care and respect. I think part of the issue is that most people can't distinguish these since we misuse the same word for it ("love"). Also, there's the problem where everyone wants to be loved, but no one knows truly what that means, let alone how to love back in turn. Because love is not merely a noun, but a verb also. To love is a choice, an action, not a feeling.
Lastly, I agree that the "One" is a very destructive concept if meant to represent another person. The closest thing to the "one" we can ever hope to achieve is within ourselves.
Find someone who can try to work with you through whatever come up … that is love .
Because you have no idea what’s coming towards you in life 😌 Life will continue to surprise and shock us … so someone who will continue holding hands through it all is the perfect companion.
Funny this is recommended to me the same day that a real messy divorce went viral in my country that led to the man taking his own life. I dreaded being alone in love and intimacy, now I realise that loving yourself should be the primary goal.
Atul case?
@ yeah, just so unfortunate and depressing
@@Gyatttmunch It is. Well you are right about loving yourself always should be the primary goal.
Peace of mind is far, far, far more important than love.
This video goes deeper than just breaking the illusion of perfect relationships, it's applicable to expectations as a whole, the pitfall into deep sadness is believing that happiness and success are guaranteed and that those things also have clear aesthetic. I really felt something deeply with this video, thank you.
This might be my favorite video of yours and I’ve watched all of them. So touching
I appreciate the emphasis on realistic expectations, effort, and growth in relationships instead of chasing unattainable ideals.
I watched almost every video and none of them had failed to make me think. So for that i thank you with all my heart. ❤
I've been married for 14 years and, like any other couple, we have had our ups and downs. Lately we've been struggling, but we have stayed together. The reality is that life apart would be far more difficult than life together.
So... Do nothing?
Yup… that’s what I’ve been doing. Not going very well I gotta admit it.
@@MrTchupamyou'll get there, dw
keep your spirits up
@LifeShouldNotExist1 "nothing" in this case obviously means "nothing in terms of getting a relationship"
Either you didn't watch the entire video or you didn't understand it.
@LifeShouldNotExist1 okay but i want you to at least acknowledge that the context is different
Your perspectives are always intriguing to me and I think they are worth listening to. I love how you phrase your words and the video content synchronises and completes what you try to complete. You even talk about your sponsors in a unique way and how you blend it in your videos.
Identify the right person to play with, to be a partner is extremly important. Thanks for your sharing!
I used to be the type who coped and said that I don’t need a relationship because it’s just gonna drain my time, happiness and emotions.
However, I’ve been in a relationship for the past 6 months and even though it has its ups and downs, i don’t regret my choice at all. Right now, we’re going thru a bit of a rough patch but even then ik that this is just how it works. It’s hard to find the right person for you and there’s bound to be mistakes made along the way. But i believe that im on the right track and Im gonna give my all to continue down it.
Love is more of an example of sacrifices made for the betterment of others . willingly caring for someone or thing.
Change the name of the channel to The Pursuit of Sadness.
100%
totaly agree
ikr dude look at all these depressed people in the comments D:
The irony is every time I start feeling at peace, and even happy being single: some one wants to start talking to me, and eventually be in a relationship with me😂
That’s just the way it plays out. Just got to sort through the bad apples until one catches your eye. Being able tie step back and excepting being single is the best way to get a partner. People need to stop looking and just step back and let themselves get found.
@@coffeejunkie4193 absolutely
I found that each time I had my heart broken, the time to recover was longer than the recovery from the previous heartbreak. I have had so many that I no longer am willing to try again. I am cool with that and my life is very peaceful.
My soulmate is a beautiful Native American woman who has a lot of issues that come with her but we literally need each other everyday and we are practically in love. I always tell her that I hope we can stay in love after this life and into the next because there's no world or universe where I can be happy without her.
Not going to work
@@διαβόητο23φάντασμα ok Einstein
Not going to work
@@liam78587ok diddy
May your love transcend time
I'm glad this video exists. I have always felt this way about life, i never felt like i needed to have love after living alone for a couple years. Then i met someone, and as much as i love them, i know im okay without them. But they do make things more enjoyable, so why not try. I see a lot of comments about people choosing to be single because they were hurt. I've had people walk away as fast as they came and changed my world for those moments. But I always knew that people come and go, and their exits never made me feel like i needed to only be alone for peace. Both give me the same amount of comfort to an extent. I always felt like i was wrong for not being too hurt about break-ups even when i gave my all. This video just helps put it in words for me. Realizing life is a guaranteed up and down battle in many ways which can hurt a person, its comforting that it means im not unlucky. If this partner doesnt work out, thats okay, it happens to all of us, so ill just accept the terms if ill be here for a while. Great video man!
Kind of just waiting till I die at this point.
Same. Got my self-retirement plan all set up so no one has to take care of me in "old age" or if I become unable to take care of myself in some capacity.
Believe me guyz....find someone who loves you back and is compatible with you in the longrun.... don't rush into immediate decisions. It is beautiful when you have someone to share your life with. Loneliness sucks !
Exactly, I just met the love of my life not so long ago and she gives me peace and makes me happy as I do the same to her. I do admit it is difficult to find that rare perfect woman who doesn't give you much trouble if none at all. I was single my whole life and had only dated once, rejected 2 girls, been rejected twice and was friendzoned for most of my life until I stopped trying/caring and worked on myself. Think that's what people need to do more than anything, work on themselves and let the right person find them. Damn I feel corny now
But more than anything I got tired of being alone, I was bored as I was already satisfied with myself and started feeling lonely again right before I ran into my now girlfriend
"Love won't be perfect but it would be real "
Love is the same as friendship in the sense that you gotta stick by your friends and if they truly care for you they'll do the same. The one is the person who chooses to stick with you and grow, not the person who makes you feel validated
Love is to recognize yourself in the other person. To get home when you are with the person.
This might be my favorite video in the world. I am grateful to have found it at this time. It is too late to change the choices I've made about love before, but now I am equipped to choose differently. I don't know what it means to me yet. But thank you for this video, all the same.
I believe in love for some, but not for me.
Liked just for the self affirming title. It actually brings comfort ❤
2:06
Really needed to hear this right now, utterly grateful!
10/10 for Zizek quotes. I also like...
When I really love someone, I can only show it by making aggressive and bad-taste remarks.
Slavoj Zizek
This video 5 mins ago was called "why you should (probably) stay single" what a revamp lol
Great video, thank you! I particularly the aspect where you compare pyschologist's points of view and theories. Please continue this format
Really great and inspirational video.
Thank you for posting today.
I have been ruminating on this for sometime as I am 31 today and peers and colleagues are tying the knot and getting married.
I often question my role in this life. And wonder if I am fit for the demands of social norms or if I am meant to be different in my own way. Find content with the lot I have been assigned.
Ah yes. My daily dose of copium
Lol😅
Today is my birthday 🎂
Happy birthday 🎉
Happy birthday
Happy birthday!!
Happy born day
happy birthday!
Legally separated with two kids. They chose something greener on the other side… I still have hope.
ive had to learn the hard way that love is an additional thing shared with that person. I learned to do my best to love myself. To not bring down the person you want to be with. Support and being there is what counts. Timing can rip it apart. Do what you love and love can follow. Dont chase it is all.
Love is life. Life is love.
I loved this episode. There is a fantasy as to what we portray love/relationship to be. This Disney, Hallmark perfect romance movie, when in reality love takes work and effort. It's accepting who we pick isn't going to be this perfect, that they can't read your mind. To an extent I am a romantic, but at the same time like in life, we need those down moments to make the up moments just as meaningful and impactful. Bailing out of a relationship because of something trivial or because after a few years, ya aren't in love anymore, to me is a lack of effort to make things work.
God damnit pursuit, why is this right on time?
Lol
Having a "meaningful" i.e. happy life is something you can do with or without a relationship. Happiness never originates in an externality you do not control -- it's the result of having inspiring long term goals, making choices progressing you in the direction of those goals, and experiencing increasing satisfaction with that progress in the present. A romantic relationship is simply one of many vehicles in which you can do that. Any such vehicle may leave you stranded on the roadside at which point you accept it's time consider what other vehicle may be more appropriate to your purpose. The meaning is the behavior of the driver, not the vehicle.
So the video I clicked on was called "Simple signs you should stay single". The video I'm watching is apparently titled "How love changes your brain - the dark side of relationships". I'm so fed up of algorithms and creators changing their titles and thumbnails for them. It's all just empty clickbait content.
“Beauty will save the world” - I used to believe that
Me too.
Love, like everything else, is not perfect. But there's beauty in imperfection.
To those who are watching this video: May you and your loved ones be blessed with inner peace, enlightenment, boundless compassion, and the wisdom to navigate life's journey with grace and tranquility. May your hearts be light, your spirits strong, and your days filled with serenity and joy.
I see many people around me, friends and strangers alike, in happy and stable relationships. They have no idea we exist.
Thus, I get this feeling that I am but a part of a community, a community of people struggling with love. We watch videos like this one, consume similar content of the same nature across other mediums, and look for reasons to confirm our already developed biases on the reality of love.
I think it’s important to understand that this generation isn’t doomed, that the men, women of today aren’t screwed up and incapable of love. We’re just getting through something. I believe that losing hope, permanently altering behaviors, and giving up are all terrible ideas. After all…
I see many people around me, friends and strangers alike, in happy and stable relationships. They have no idea we exist.
Hey the kicker is you are fighting yourself. Let desperation eat away at you. Give yourself a break. Focus on yourself. Stop looking for someone. If you’re able to not keep looking for someone you leave yourself open to be found. Just expect what life is and take yourself out to a restaurant. Treat yourself and work on yourself. Don’t worry about what is happening around you. One you have excepted being single time goes by faster. You won’t be lost and in pain. And someone lost looking might just find you. Like how you treat yourself. Ask to come with you to a restaurant you like. Play a game with you. Then before you know it you will have it. Without even expecting it. This is the way to a healthy relationship. Give up on looking and just look at yourself. Take care of yourself.
This is a bit off-topic but I just wanted to share since everybody is writing their stories.
I'm 26 years old and never been in a relationship. Years go by and I don't even get a hug. I'm a girl and have been dealing with an eating disorder for a long time which isolated me even more. For some reason though, day by day I feel less worried. I love reading books and if I manage to starve for a long time, classical music starts to sound painfully majestic. I try to think that so long as I have access to books, life shall be tolerable.
My father is an orthodox priest and when I was younger he said: I named you after Saint Macrine, she was a Christian nun, but the name itself means distressed, futile and abandoned.
Somewhere along the lines, I realised that I'm living up to my name.
Love was always a tool to extract resources. It’s ok. Accept it or quit.
😌 Already mastered The Art of Detachment 🤣 people in the comment section want their fantasies to be real 😌 I ain't never falling for no genjutsu 😏 Philosophy is enlightening
NO WIFE. = HAPPY LIFE !
Just seeing the names of videos like this always make me sad. I have two wonderful adult children. They are the light of my life. That kind of love just can't be found by staying single. Well, I guess if you have children out of wedlock, but I don't recommend that. Anyway, I'll move along now as I see I'm probably in the minority here.
I share the same thought as you sir/mam .
I agree. That is a very different relationship but it is exclusively tied to individual willingness to go through the struggle to get it. It’s worth it. I think the video is touching on the loneliness epidemic more. The ability to accept being single is the most crucial way to find a partner. Once you can accept being single and stop looking you let yourself be found.
I agree with you, I wouldn't mind more positivity in these videos lol
Lucky me, I'm too ugly to get a first date.
(This made more sense under the video's original title "Why you should remain single")
I love myself, every one else is missing out🌒🌕🌘
If you're looking for love to be a remedy or a solution you better keep working on yourself
What a beautiful video! Thank you!
Wtf the simple act of exploring the world and meeting souls is a wonder in itself. Just date, not to grab something, to gain sex, to own a body in your arms, but to offer your love, your care, your attention, like you would do to a flower or an animal.
I'm a bipolar (/and) borderliner and the last thing I need is romantic love. It just hurts. I need a partner who is there for me and on the other side, I can care for him. But the important thing is, we don't own our partners.
He maybe can't understand my inner world, but he is there, because he wants it.
And so I do for him.
This would be nice. Idk if I ever found someone like this again. And if not, maybe in next life or in heaven, whatever.
The fact that the title went from *how to know if someone truly loves you" to why you should stay single" we know Pursuit of Wonder is just trying to mess with our emotions LMAO
You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win
And so it goes
Til the day you die
This thing they call love
It's gonna make you cry
I've had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing for sure
Love stinks
Pursuit of wonder got a psychic connection to my brain
A relationship is the price you pay for the anticipation of it.
I needed this
Funny...I just downloaded an article i found online about romantic love called "Nothing higher to live for" similar conclusion.🤙🏽
Build your values, and find those who align with them, make every little choice in your life count, because everything builds and adds to who you end up being, and continue to evolve into.
I haven't watched the video yet, but I love the title. I've recently ended a long term relationship, and this seems so fitting to my situation! I should probably remain single!
Just give is a year. Don’t think about it. Don’t look for someone because everyone else is. Let yourself be found. To many people are fighting to find something that isn’t there. Once you accept being single time will move so quickly that before you know it someone will fall into your lap. Give is a year. Focus on yourself and take yourself out to a restaurant here or there.
Our necessities has 4 sub forces that pull us, food/hydration, shelter, interaction and procreation. Are going to be the 4 subtle forces that pull them in order to feel their necessities are satisfied. You can choose to alter these forces, which seems to make humans pretty unique. But, the point of a relationship should help your assistance in maintaining these 4 necessities, and will support you to achieve all of these 4 basis that seem to be the human law we abide by.
So as much as there is nothing wrong with searching for a person who meets these basis, and then also brings the opportunity for excess. Which brings a chemistry that is better suited for these subtle urges that once aligned, usually makes pretty happy when they get it. But we have so many things pulling us in different directions and out of alignment, that we get trauma instead. So really, yes you don't know which person will fulfill that, but at least you should know, when someone makes you feel aligned, probably not a good idea to think there is something better then that. Which for vanity reasons, seems holding us back.
thank you brother for everything till now
A realistic can still see, understand, and value love. Even in its bad and good states.
This channel should be called The pursuit of changing name and cover art of video 😂😂
Perfect.
Trying to find my love or dying trying.
I learned as a child from Pokémon’s red / blue/ yellow that’s you don’t get what you want. You get what you need and you keep it moving, or else you’ll die a hungry wanting ghost.
Nah I just cheat in the Pokemon I want. Can't cheat in life
Nice choice on the toccata :)
Love and faith
Elusive divisive illogical
Yummy feelings elusive
It's all bio chemistry aka hormones
Just experienced a small heartbreak, I not sure if I need to watch this video
Love like any other emotion, is temporary, it may last a bit longer.
hah title chsnged to a little more appropriate one. btw so so good vid
another title once again!!
Survival in this current world and economy is like treading water. So why tie a ball and chain around your neck lol? Just date and do short term relationships.
Live in relationships over marriage anyday
Great video.
this came out right after a break up for me, that’s crazy.
Sex is everything okay
Making love complicated ruins it
havent seen the video yet, but you shouldnt be alone (i mean romantically*). if you think about it, its not just good for you as a person, but also for the society as a whole
I gave up a long time ago. Almost exclusively into noncommittal relationships these days.
Very beautiful content