Honestly I always don’t know how to feel about this type of question. I love my mother and I believe that she has good intuition with people, but her views are also tainted by prejudice. She is against my relationship with my boyfriend, she has never met him, she has never spoken to him before and she doesn’t intend to do so, solely because of the color of his skin. That is something I cannot accept and it wouldn’t hinder me from marrying him someday.
I too a'm in a relationship (leading to marriage) with a man who is colored. Like you, I so love my parents, but because of different ways they were brought up, they ARE a bit prejudice when it comes to Marrying into blacks culture. I'm torn! I know if marry a black, I lose my family. Although they are friends with blacks they oppose marrying black. Hiw did you handle your situation?
My parents are both controlling and narcissist. I lived with my parents until I was 35. I’ve always worked but they didn’t give me the self confidence to know I could make it on my own. Anytime I went against there opinion they yelled and shut me down. I started dating a man whose 27 years older, and he makes me so happy and treats me so good. My parents started screaming and told me if I get married to just elope because they’ll never come to the wedding. My dad told me to delete his phone number and never talk to him again. That is what pushed me out and 2 weeks later I got my own place, I couldn’t live under that control anymore. I’ll have my 3 year dating anniversary with my boyfriend in February. My parents never bring the subject up like it doesn’t exist. My sister is dating a guy 11 years younger and he’s invited to our family holidays but my boyfriend isn’t. It’s just sad. They only care about their happiness not mine.
Wow that is crazy. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m also happy that you’re able to get in your own place. I’m working on the same thing. I will say I’m 32 and I’m talking to a 50 year old. Honestly I never thought I’d date a 50 year old but I see why some women do. My mom already told me she would disapprove if I did date someone 20+ years older. I understand her concern but it would be wrong not to get to know the individual base off of their age, been married before etc. I mean he’s 50, obviously he’s going to already have a past of being married with kids.
I'm not religious, but if you're religious then I think it is a big deal. Imagine being a Christian, and you date a Muslim. First of all, if his parents are hardcore Muslims, your marriage won't be valid to them because you're not a Muslim. And also, if you want to raise a child, forget about baptizing your baby, your partner may want your child to honor Muhammad only.
Christy Louis actually in Islam, a man is allowed to marry a Christian :). But yes, unfortunately there are parents who don’t want to accept their marriage no matter what.
@@christylouis2611 oh honey that's sad but in reality in alot of communities race and religion matters cos they don't want their kids to be born into confusing world..btw in Islam Muslim men marry Christians/Jews (according to the Koran they are people of the book) and Muslims don't honor Muhammad nor Moses or Jesus (peace be upon them) they were prophets sent by God but there's only one God that's honoured and worshipped ,we all just have different names for him and worship him in different holy houses n call him different names...I think personally it comes down to Who you love and who loves you back regardless of race n religion.. mankind have used those two for nothing but suffering and Pain. Towards each other..😒
"If you're just dating though..." they keep repeating that. I was in an abusive relationship where we were "just dating", I ended up in a mental hospital because of a man my mum didn't approve of from the beginning. He made me leave my family, my school and tried to take my life away. All I had to do was listen to my sister, my mum, my friend OR my step dad for one second. These person around us love us and want us to be nothing but happy while we love somebody more than we love ourselves. My opinion is: If she's a decent person, your mamma knows better.
That's unfortunate but if someone hurts you on purpose they know what they doing your family is there forever. U should never let someone take you away from your family period. Everyone has a probation period when u start dating them. Jobs gives us probation periods whether they want to keep us or not lol so yea you should've dissappeared on him life is to short for that. But I know you learned your lesson. Respect...
Before Kris Jenner became a woman he would throw temper tantrums anytime someone asked any one of his daughters out for a date. He even threatened to have a teenager expelled from high school all because he asked his youngest daughter to prom. He has had that "my way or the highway" attitude even before he was the face of wheaties cereal.
You have to live your life for yourself!! Everyone is going to have an opinion about someone including your parents but at the end of the day you are the adult and decision is your and yours alone
Yep! Unless there is a severe issue at hand, allow the person to grow and learn to trust their own judgement. Some parents have a savior complex and mainly use their “I’m older and wiser” tactics on their child, and likely possess the same behavioral pattern when their children were little ones and/or teens, which explains why a good amount of adults still unknowingly chasing for their moms or dads approval.
it depends on the parents.... there were parents that are so " stubborn" and say: "i wont approve to the marriag.."..just because they wanted to be asked.... and they wanted to feel important.
My mom doesn’t approve of my boyfriend because he has vitiligo and she’s “scared” to look/see him, she said if it came to where me and him were to get married she wouldn’t come to the wedding. She met him for 5 minutes and she’s acting like this, I’m still with him on the low🤷🏾♀️
If you want your folks to not dislike your lover stop running to them whenever there's a problem and giving them one sided stories where dude(girl) looks bad. My mom loves my guy now and I've always spoken positively of him. Also parents aren't always right. My mom tried to get me and my guy to break up mind you she didn't even know him. Today my mom loves him, that's her third child she says. She wanted my life to go the direction SHE wanted and he came in the picture too early lol. She said he ruined my life when I took a break from college to figure out if nursing was my calling before i was way too deep in the program.
I will listen to their opinion but as what people say, it is ultimately my choice. I'm responsible for my own happiness. I know that my family will support and understand me whatever decisions I make in my life as long as I'm happy with it.
My husband's family hates me. I don't care for them for reasons I won't go into. At the end of the day I married him not them. Sixteen years later we're still married and, the ones they approved for his siblings? All the siblings are single or miserable.
I married my husband and my mother didnt like him. We've been together 13 years n have 4 kids. She eventually had to learn to live with it, because he wasnt going anywhere n he fathered her 4 grandkids.
I'd listen to their opinions. But, like a lot of people have said, it is ultimately my choice and my happiness. And I know my family would support a relationship so long as I am happy and feeling safe.
Yes you should listen to your family when they disapprove of who you're dating, but it depends on who they are, it depends on the situation, etc. If they have the same beliefs as you and they are good people, listen to them. They may see a red flag that you can't see. On the other hand, if they don't have the same views as you, or they're racist or crazy, maybe don't listen to them so much.
I kept that part of my life separate from my family life for the most part. My parents were older and very conservative. No one would have ever been good enough for me in their eyes. Why put everyone in a difficult situation?
I love this comment and I agree. I told my partner that he would never meet my mother and he was okay with that. I know how she can be and I would never put him in a hostile (for lack of a better word) situation.
@@aneshaelizabeth For me it was more that I didn`t want to upset my parents. They loved me so much. Really, they don`t care about my boyfriends or husband they just want to see me and my son. Why ruin my precious time with them.
My family's job is to support me speak your peace and leave me alone. 1 time i heard you that's it. If i decide to move forward and it falls apart be there for me to help me figure out the next step
If you’re close with your parents, and they’re honest and caring with you. LISTEN TO THEM! They’ve been thru things. They get the vibes from those who are good for and bad for you 😊
I have a hard time with this. My ex husband was a narcissist and when I walked away from him after being continuously lied to, my mom was upset with me because I didnt stay with him for financial reasons. He had no finances! He was heir and wanted me to sign a prenup. Needless to say, I have a backbone and unfortunately my mother wanted me to be a pushover. I cant say that listening to your family is a good thing in all situations.
Nah. Some parents don't like in-laws due to race, money, looks, class and other superficial bs. It depends on the parent and if he/she has a solid argument.
What if you don't wanna be treated the way your dad treated your mom for clear reasons ?? People need to understand that not all parents are the same, and so many people are plain selfish and hypocrits.
A common saying everyone knows is this: 'Blood is thicker than water'. What you may not know is that the full saying is this: 'The blood of a covenant is thicker than water of the womb'. One way to interpret this is to put the family you choose (friends and loved ones) is more important than the family you were born into. I can't choose who my family is but I can choose who I want to start a family with.
Ain't nobody picking and choosing my damn relationship. No mama, daddy, kids, grandmas, grandpas, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunties, or cousins. I'll value and respect whatever opinions they may have, but one thing I'm not going to do is stop dating or marrying someone because they don't approve. They can sit they ass down with that.
EpiphanyBlue As long as there's no sexual or physical abuse going on, then my kids or nobody for that matter doesn't have any say so in my relationship life.
Lametrius Butler like lets say they think he doesn’t treat you right. And yea I feel what you saying but I believe sometimes we don’t give kids the opportunity to voice their opinion. Not a kid that’s 8 but like old enough to understand. What I was always told was your kid has to be around them too and if they aren’t comfortable then what’s the point 🤷🏽♀️
My family picks out men for me. I don’t know any of them and from what they tell me about them, we have nothing in common. I’ve been dating a guy for 3 years long distance and I’ve never felt like I had such a healthy relationship with anyone else in my life. They don’t respect it because they haven’t given him a chance, he isn’t rich, and he’s not white. They won’t accept anybody that I date because I’m the baby and they’re overprotective. It’s hard to not listen to what they say because they’re important to you, but you have to break free from it when you know something is going to be good for you.
First it is your life, not there's. So if your parents don't like or don't want to meet your men. It is there problem not yours. You have someone in your life now and you make the choice in your life.
Girl I went to the same thing to I was dating a guy who was 12 years younger then me. And his family didn’t like me thinking I was going to take all his money from him so his mom told him the same thing to delete her number and never speak to her again. But the problem was he was so controlled by his parents he never defended me and would always send money to them because they lived in Mexico till a week ago. He left me because I couldn’t be a priority to him. His family would come first. It still breaks my heart till this day. even though I feel like there is more to the story than what he’s telling me, but I do feel your pain and I’m really sorry that you are going through that.
In my honest opinion your family's opinion about who you date should only matter if you're under the age of 21 and you're still depending on them to provide your basic needs but if you're financially independent and can afford all of your own basic needs yourself then they can't say a damn thing about who you're dating
If you have great parents and relatives who have been invested in your wellbeing long before this relationship I believe it's a good idea to take a step back, do an assessment and take things slow. Ultimately the decision is yours
I feel like it's how you disapprove. Some people harp on it, and stew about it, get mad, take it personally, issue ultimatums. "Oh you better leave him or you can't come around here. After everything we've done for you. You don't know..." I feel like the right way to disapprove is just tell someone "Look, I love you , I wanna look out for you. Here are my concerns..... Now you don't have to defend any of them to me, and I won't mention it again, but I think you need to think about those things. Whatever you choose I'm here for YOU and I support YOU 100%." The obvious exception being if the other person is physically/verbally/emotionally abusive. Then you do whatever it takes to end it.
"you ain't ever that in love" true facts. Love may make you blind for some moments but you cant blame stupidity on love. Take some heed to why your parents have an opinion then take things from there.
Many years ago I lost my oldest Niece to a tragedy because she didn't LISTEN....I told her about the guy she was dating was not right MENTALLY....I kept saying this for 3 months continuously...Finally, on LABOR DAY that year, which was also my birthday, she was murdered by him....They only had dated less than a year....
Parents don't get a say. Their opinion doesn't matter. They dated and married who they wanted to and so shall I. I would totally date and marry a guy that my parents didn't like. However, I would not date or marry a man if his mother didn't like me. Especially if he had a very close relationship with her and cared about her feelings and opinion. She would become the "mother-in-law from hell" and he would allow it. So, no thanks. Having said that, if I met a man and we fell madly in love, his mother made it clear that she didn't like me, but the guy told me he was willing to sever ties with his mother in order to have me in his life and keep me from being abused. Yes. Bring it on.
As much as I believe we are all entitled to happiness, I firmly believe it is very important for me to have my parent's blessing. I've seen too many failed marriages because their marriage was not blessed. There is a reason they say with age comes wisdom and your parents will always have your best interest at heart.
When ur dating i think it does matter what your parents think but usually we dont like to listen to our parents when we are in "love" but as soon as you get married their opinion DOES NOT matter.. if they still continue talking bad about your spouse that can and will hurt your marriage badly
I'm just gonna throw it out there. There are plenty of people that end up with a baby while they are "JUST DATING". Saying not to listen while you are dating. That temporary dating phase ends up being a lifetime of hell if you don't pay attention.
I think it depends on the reason why they don't like the person you're dating. Like, if they didn't like him because the S.O. isn't their cup of tea, then I think its ok to take their opinion with a grain of salt. But if they're telling you to RUN, then you might wanna consider why then GTFO.
She looks really pretty. Her hair looks real. When black hair is straightened it has that stiff sort of look so I doubt its fake. You sound mad jealous though. You probably praise Kyle jenner who has fake everything LOL. Your opinions are not credible after that!
I don't know about all of this honestly. I've had people that my parents liked and then everything fell apart with that person, and I've dated guys that my momma didn't like...and one of them ended up being a dang good man. So, really it does depend upon your parent's and their type of people and choices in people. Because, the type of people my momma likes, honestly I just don't jive with. I don't care good of a guy he may be, if my momma likes him, it just isn't going to work out because they usually have no personality. Now, my daddy's taste in people I get along better with. But that didn't mean that I could date them and it work out. I may not have always like what my daddy said, but I can look back and say that he usually nailed it when he told me how things would end up. He told me before, "Ya know, I like this guy...but it ain't gonna work out." Well, daddy was right. Just because they like them, doesn't mean they can pick someone that you like. My daddy tried twice to pick me a boy friend, and my older brother tried once...none of those were even remotely a good idea 😂
My mom is narcissistic sooo what should I do about that? Bc my boyfriend helps me and stands by me through everything and I’ve been in some very toxic relationships he would never do anything to hurt me but if he did I’ll let him know and he’ll pay attention and change that for me bc he knows im worth everything. And yet my mom still doesn’t like him.
see Steve have true real daddy qualities I'm not putting my dad down but I wish I had been fathered like this we need dads like him in the world and I wish my 25year old son would have gotten the opportunity to go to his boot camp mentoring place his dad did what he knew but it take so much to raise a son into being a man although, while I was a single mom sometimes, even when I was in a relationship with a, man it takes a village to raise children now a days
if they diapprove because of who they are rather than what they are then we cool..if they suggest i cant date them because they are this race or that religion.. sorry family but i am going ahead wi th the date
My mom doesn't want me to suffer like she did cuz his mom is lil.. Yk.. Strict(?) We're in college and are serious about our relationship. My mom doesn't approve of him cus we're the same age and our thoughts don't really match that much! It's really difficult for me to even meet him or go out at night, even if not with him, I have to hear a lot! Sarcasm, mockery, scoffing and all.. At times it just suffocates me.
I've NEVER dated anyone my family liked! One of them I was with for over 7 years! Can't say that I am any richer for the relationships other than I am stronger!
😂NO WAY. NO DATING/SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS=NOBODY INTRUDING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP & NO DRAMA. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. ITS NOT WORTH GETTING HURT BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE HUMAN. YOU'RE THE BEST STEVE FOR SAVING DAUGHTERS FROM GETTING PLAYED OR USED BY MEN.🎉
My family are pretty much racist .. they didn't approve of my relationship from the start. I eventually got married to him, and I've never been happier. I've got my own new family now, with our own little one on the way. My sister has completely written me off. My mom speaks to me for the sake of still being able to speak to my first son .. I really don't care
If you have non toxic parents who respect your boundaries then you can have a healthy conversation about the person you are bringing home to potentially be your life partner. They'll be able to calmly articulate why they feel that that person isn't a suitable life mate. Seeing as how I don't know a single damn oul who has non-toxic parents, I don't know how you're supposed to work it out. I would recommend going to premarital counseling with a licensed therapist, not a pastor. Explore your childhood trauma and how it causes you to act and behave in relationships and see if you are truly compatible with that person. Most often, the parent does not like the partner because the parent is a narcissist. If your parent is a narcissist, you are likely attracting other narcissists as partners, so they have conflict. Having your daughter's partner followed is completely out of bounds. 1000% toxic and should not be considered emotionally healthy.
You should stop for a second and ask yourself if you would give that same advice to your best friend. I.e. If you are in an abusive relationship, would you tell your best friend to stay or run? If the only reason your family doesn't approve is because your partner's job is not glamorous enough or because of their ethnicity, would you tell your best friend to stay or run? Basically, whatever advice you would give your best friend, is the one you should follow. If that matches your family's advice, great. If it doesn't, your family will just have to suck it up.
If going to get married to the person it's important that people you cared and loved you like your family need to be involve and get along. Hope God gave me a Man can Respect my Family and me as to his.🙏🙏🙏
My family doesn’t approve of my current relationship. Unknown to them my partner has a schizophrenia diagnosis and unfortunately doesn’t always take his meds. But since they don’t know that they think he’s on drugs lol. Because of his condition he’s burned some bridges with his family and they are intolerant to his symptoms. Admittedly I’m also overwhelmed by being the only person he has right now. It’s exhausting and this is not what I signed up for. But despite the pressures and criticisms from my friends and family I know that I have information that they don’t. He’s not an addict. He’s ill. And something just doesn’t feel right about abandoning a human being in desperate need of care. 💜
I wouldn't care if my family didn't like my dating partner. I'm dating that person so they can like him, I'm dating that person, because I like him. If she/he don't like that person that their problem and I don't and won't care.
I would not care. It’s not their life. Point. Blank. Period. If they want nothing to do with me because of who I’m screwing…. I’m Better off without them
My parents were married for 27 years before my mom passed away from cancer in 2016 at just 49. And my dad recently turned 68 so i'm not sure i would want to ask his advice because it might be dated. So if anything i might have to go to my brothers for dating advice when i'm ready cause my oldest brother has been married to his wife for almost 2 years
See my comment. Your dad may be older, but it doesn't stop him from having good intuition and wisdom. I think you should definitely take your dad's advice into consideration.
Adam Granger, I advise you listen to your father more than your brother. I've been married for 7 years and if anyone asked me for advice at 2 years, I would have given a wrong answer. Now at 7 my opinion over things have changed. 27 years over 2 is a no brainer.
Advice from my parents yes. Advice from my siblings - if I don’t approve of your relationship I’m not taking any advice from you. That being said if any of them disapproved of my spouse before marriage I would have to take a step back & remove them blinders.
I feel like if your friends and family in general don't like the person you're dating, you should really pay attention to that... Figure out why, because chances are there's actually a red flag that they're seeing that you're not because you have on your rose-colored glasses. That being said, if you have just one friend or parent or sibling that's hating, it's probably rooted in some kind of jealousy or something. But I can tell you from experience, that if you're with the right person, they should be able to fit in with your circle of people fairly comfortably. If you can't take them to Thanksgiving, they probably aren't for you. The exception to this, though, would be if you're family is racist or something more extreme like that.
mom's be knowing and dads hold back on knowing too because all they want is for there child to be Happy that's what say but people need to stop holding back the truth and be real because these are real lives and things happen
For me, never again will I date someone without my family liking him. I was young, in love and missed the red flags that my family saw. They respected my choice to date him, but told me that they had some concerns. They let me figure it out for myself, but I'm older and wiser now. Ain't nobody got time to waste and I trust their judgement.
I think this is bad advice, follow your instinct. If I felt like a guy was not right for me, I would break up with him. Looking back I was right every time. I was in a vulnerable place and listened to my mother about continuing to date a guy I didn’t want to date anymore. She said she would be mad at me if I broke up with him, because she liked him. I thought ok she knows best, I’ll trust what she says. It was the biggest mistake of my life, the biggest!!! I took her approval and married him at 28, the day after I married Jekyll, Hyde came out. I divorced him at 45, he was cheating with everybody and I found out he was cheating before we were married. I should’ve listened to my instinct about him. I’m 59 and have not remarried. It’s very sad. Wish I had a Steve Harvey detective back then.
Just because you caught up in infatuation with a person, don’t try to force that person on your family and friends if your family and friends don’t like that person! It will just cause you to alienate yourself from your family and friends and cause you to be miserable!
I’m telling you right now I am very old-school classic girl you walk away from your mother your father your sister your brother I will walk away from anybody in my family if I love somebody nobody is going to tell me that I can’t love that person and if they go along with their family and they don’t stand up with for me they don’t stand up for me and they’re not willing to walk away to spend their life with me and not going to stand up for me to their family and say I love this woman and I don’t care what you think than I love myself enough to say I’m gonna walk away and I’ll find a man that has no problem being for me and only me
If I'm happy, don't intervene with my happiness.
I think if your parents are confident about the way they raised you, they will trust who you choose to marry.
KIM GRAVEL NEEDS HER OWN TALK SHOW STEVE PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN I LOVE HERRRRRRRRR
Built on Self Success yes!! I like her, too. She's so cool and funny.
She reminds me of the woman version of Todd Chrisley lol!
TOTALLY LOL
Honestly I always don’t know how to feel about this type of question. I love my mother and I believe that she has good intuition with people, but her views are also tainted by prejudice. She is against my relationship with my boyfriend, she has never met him, she has never spoken to him before and she doesn’t intend to do so, solely because of the color of his skin. That is something I cannot accept and it wouldn’t hinder me from marrying him someday.
Never listen to the opinion of racist people. I know it's your mom but I commend you for being a better person.
I too a'm in a relationship (leading to marriage) with a man who is colored. Like you, I so love my parents, but because of different ways they were brought up, they ARE a bit prejudice when it comes to Marrying into blacks culture.
I'm torn! I know if marry a black, I lose my family. Although they are friends with blacks they oppose marrying black. Hiw did you handle your situation?
How you handle your situation
@@janjoy9759 I’m in the exact same situation.
@@ashtonlambeth7620 do you love him deeply? Is he IT! ?
I had him followed 😂😂😂,
#dadgoals
Lol
I want others around me to see what I don't see....saves a lot of heart ache and possible situations!
My parents are both controlling and narcissist. I lived with my parents until I was 35. I’ve always worked but they didn’t give me the self confidence to know I could make it on my own. Anytime I went against there opinion they yelled and shut me down. I started dating a man whose 27 years older, and he makes me so happy and treats me so good. My parents started screaming and told me if I get married to just elope because they’ll never come to the wedding. My dad told me to delete his phone number and never talk to him again. That is what pushed me out and 2 weeks later I got my own place, I couldn’t live under that control anymore. I’ll have my 3 year dating anniversary with my boyfriend in February. My parents never bring the subject up like it doesn’t exist. My sister is dating a guy 11 years younger and he’s invited to our family holidays but my boyfriend isn’t. It’s just sad. They only care about their happiness not mine.
Wow youre parents suck sorry to say that . Youre pretty and happy . But i do hope things get better.
Wow that is crazy. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m also happy that you’re able to get in your own place. I’m working on the same thing. I will say I’m 32 and I’m talking to a 50 year old. Honestly I never thought I’d date a 50 year old but I see why some women do. My mom already told me she would disapprove if I did date someone 20+ years older. I understand her concern but it would be wrong not to get to know the individual base off of their age, been married before etc. I mean he’s 50, obviously he’s going to already have a past of being married with kids.
How is it holding up?
My parents care about race and religion :/ they don’t care if he’s a good guy that’s why I don’t take their advice 🤷🏻♀️
M_ Hx same girl ...
That's sad cause our parents suppose to tell us what's right
I'm not religious, but if you're religious then I think it is a big deal. Imagine being a Christian, and you date a Muslim. First of all, if his parents are hardcore Muslims, your marriage won't be valid to them because you're not a Muslim. And also, if you want to raise a child, forget about baptizing your baby, your partner may want your child to honor Muhammad only.
Christy Louis actually in Islam, a man is allowed to marry a Christian :). But yes, unfortunately there are parents who don’t want to accept their marriage no matter what.
@@christylouis2611 oh honey that's sad but in reality in alot of communities race and religion matters cos they don't want their kids to be born into confusing world..btw in Islam Muslim men marry Christians/Jews (according to the Koran they are people of the book) and Muslims don't honor Muhammad nor Moses or Jesus (peace be upon them) they were prophets sent by God but there's only one God that's honoured and worshipped ,we all just have different names for him and worship him in different holy houses n call him different names...I think personally it comes down to Who you love and who loves you back regardless of race n religion.. mankind have used those two for nothing but suffering and Pain. Towards each other..😒
"If you're just dating though..." they keep repeating that. I was in an abusive relationship where we were "just dating", I ended up in a mental hospital because of a man my mum didn't approve of from the beginning. He made me leave my family, my school and tried to take my life away. All I had to do was listen to my sister, my mum, my friend OR my step dad for one second. These person around us love us and want us to be nothing but happy while we love somebody more than we love ourselves.
My opinion is: If she's a decent person, your mamma knows better.
That's unfortunate but if someone hurts you on purpose they know what they doing your family is there forever. U should never let someone take you away from your family period. Everyone has a probation period when u start dating them. Jobs gives us probation periods whether they want to keep us or not lol so yea you should've dissappeared on him life is to short for that. But I know you learned your lesson. Respect...
It only one wrong person as you mentioned crosses your path during dating, it's quickly over
I swear, if Kim, Steve, and Todd Chrisley had a show together it would be PERFECT
Yooooo. That would be sooo cool😂 I love Kim
Throw in Dr Phill too
So true
Before Kris Jenner became a woman he would throw temper tantrums anytime someone asked any one of his daughters out for a date. He even threatened to have a teenager expelled from high school all because he asked his youngest daughter to prom. He has had that "my way or the highway" attitude even before he was the face of wheaties cereal.
Oh my goodness yes they should!
You have to live your life for yourself!! Everyone is going to have an opinion about someone including your parents but at the end of the day you are the adult and decision is your and yours alone
Natasha McGill daaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnn right
True
Exactly. And your parents aren't going to be the ones living with your partner, you are.
Yep! Unless there is a severe issue at hand, allow the person to grow and learn to trust their own judgement. Some parents have a savior complex and mainly use their “I’m older and wiser” tactics on their child, and likely possess the same behavioral pattern when their children were little ones and/or teens, which explains why a good amount of adults still unknowingly chasing for their moms or dads approval.
Kim Gravel is the only member that matters in my opinion on this panel, buuuuuut, usually parents know what they talking about.
F
Totally agree!! KIM is the wisest one in the panel!!!
it depends on the parents.... there were parents that are so " stubborn" and say: "i wont approve to the marriag.."..just because they wanted to be asked.... and they wanted to feel important.
My mom doesn’t approve of my boyfriend because he has vitiligo and she’s “scared” to look/see him, she said if it came to where me and him were to get married she wouldn’t come to the wedding. She met him for 5 minutes and she’s acting like this, I’m still with him on the low🤷🏾♀️
If you want your folks to not dislike your lover stop running to them whenever there's a problem and giving them one sided stories where dude(girl) looks bad. My mom loves my guy now and I've always spoken positively of him.
Also parents aren't always right. My mom tried to get me and my guy to break up mind you she didn't even know him. Today my mom loves him, that's her third child she says. She wanted my life to go the direction SHE wanted and he came in the picture too early lol. She said he ruined my life when I took a break from college to figure out if nursing was my calling before i was way too deep in the program.
My mom told me to dump my mans before meeting him too !!!!
Good point. I've stopped talking to my mom about my relationship. It's difficult but she's my mom and not my best friend, and I accept that.
Damn this sounds like me except my mom still seems to hate or has mixed feelings about my boyfriend
I will listen to their opinion but as what people say, it is ultimately my choice. I'm responsible for my own happiness. I know that my family will support and understand me whatever decisions I make in my life as long as I'm happy with it.
At the end of the day my happiness is the only thing that matters nobody has the right to interfere with that
joseph robinson EXACTLY!
Amen!
doesn't matter period if family approves of who you are dating or not, because it is none of their damn business
My husband's family hates me. I don't care for them for reasons I won't go into. At the end of the day I married him not them. Sixteen years later we're still married and, the ones they approved for his siblings? All the siblings are single or miserable.
Kim is a black lady in a white lady's body♡ 😂
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh agreed
She straight out of Compton
Nah she not...but she sure is southern yes indeed
I married my husband and my mother didnt like him. We've been together 13 years n have 4 kids. She eventually had to learn to live with it, because he wasnt going anywhere n he fathered her 4 grandkids.
pebbles 3j lol thats right..same with my mom....
😔
I'd listen to their opinions. But, like a lot of people have said, it is ultimately my choice and my happiness. And I know my family would support a relationship so long as I am happy and feeling safe.
My Dad told me. “Don’t bring anything in this house I have to throw out or go to jail for.” I still live by those words today.
The trouble with listening to others is they are not always right.The don't always know what's best for you.
Yes you should listen to your family when they disapprove of who you're dating, but it depends on who they are, it depends on the situation, etc. If they have the same beliefs as you and they are good people, listen to them. They may see a red flag that you can't see. On the other hand, if they don't have the same views as you, or they're racist or crazy, maybe don't listen to them so much.
When u are an adult, family has no say in who u choose to date. If your partner treats u well & w/ respect. Go for it!
Yes girl you said it 🙏🙏🙏
I kept that part of my life separate from my family life for the most part. My parents were older and very conservative. No one would have ever been good enough for me in their eyes. Why put everyone in a difficult situation?
I love this comment and I agree. I told my partner that he would never meet my mother and he was okay with that. I know how she can be and I would never put him in a hostile (for lack of a better word) situation.
@@aneshaelizabeth For me it was more that I didn`t want to upset my parents. They loved me so much. Really, they don`t care about my boyfriends or husband they just want to see me and my son. Why ruin my precious time with them.
If you love the person no ones opinion should matter. You are your own person and ultimately it’s your life so just be happy
My family's job is to support me speak your peace and leave me alone. 1 time i heard you that's it. If i decide to move forward and it falls apart be there for me to help me figure out the next step
Exactly
Seek a wise counsel .. not necessarily family but wise counsel is a must -
Family need to mind their business..its your personal life. But i appreciate the input.let that person learn on their own.
Nope I will never let my family influence my love life ask them to but out
my mom has been right on the money with everyone...by the way...TaRhonda looks so good with that long hair....no Porscha faux hawk like on Empire
“You were never that in love “ 👏 this is the truth
If you’re close with your parents, and they’re honest and caring with you. LISTEN TO THEM! They’ve been thru things. They get the vibes from those who are good for and bad for you 😊
They aren’t always right
joueyboo it’s your decision not theirs
I have a hard time with this. My ex husband was a narcissist and when I walked away from him after being continuously lied to, my mom was upset with me because I didnt stay with him for financial reasons. He had no finances! He was heir and wanted me to sign a prenup. Needless to say, I have a backbone and unfortunately my mother wanted me to be a pushover. I cant say that listening to your family is a good thing in all situations.
Tracey Edmonds looks really good!
Nah. Some parents don't like in-laws due to race, money, looks, class and other superficial bs. It depends on the parent and if he/she has a solid argument.
What if you don't wanna be treated the way your dad treated your mom for clear reasons ??
People need to understand that not all parents are the same, and so many people are plain selfish and hypocrits.
A common saying everyone knows is this: 'Blood is thicker than water'.
What you may not know is that the full saying is this: 'The blood of a covenant is thicker than water of the womb'.
One way to interpret this is to put the family you choose (friends and loved ones) is more important than the family you were born into. I can't choose who my family is but I can choose who I want to start a family with.
Ain't nobody picking and choosing my damn relationship. No mama, daddy, kids, grandmas, grandpas, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunties, or cousins. I'll value and respect whatever opinions they may have, but one thing I'm not going to do is stop dating or marrying someone because they don't approve. They can sit they ass down with that.
Gene CJ 😄😄😄
What if your kids don’t approve for a reason 🧐
EpiphanyBlue A reason like?
EpiphanyBlue As long as there's no sexual or physical abuse going on, then my kids or nobody for that matter doesn't have any say so in my relationship life.
Lametrius Butler like lets say they think he doesn’t treat you right. And yea I feel what you saying but I believe sometimes we don’t give kids the opportunity to voice their opinion. Not a kid that’s 8 but like old enough to understand. What I was always told was your kid has to be around them too and if they aren’t comfortable then what’s the point 🤷🏽♀️
I love each of these beautiful ladies. I hope they keep making appearances on the show!!!
My family picks out men for me. I don’t know any of them and from what they tell me about them, we have nothing in common. I’ve been dating a guy for 3 years long distance and I’ve never felt like I had such a healthy relationship with anyone else in my life. They don’t respect it because they haven’t given him a chance, he isn’t rich, and he’s not white. They won’t accept anybody that I date because I’m the baby and they’re overprotective. It’s hard to not listen to what they say because they’re important to you, but you have to break free from it when you know something is going to be good for you.
First it is your life, not there's. So if your parents don't like or don't want to meet your men. It is there problem not yours. You have someone in your life now and you make the choice in your life.
Girl I went to the same thing to I was dating a guy who was 12 years younger then me. And his family didn’t like me thinking I was going to take all his money from him so his mom told him the same thing to delete her number and never speak to her again. But the problem was he was so controlled by his parents he never defended me and would always send money to them because they lived in Mexico till a week ago. He left me because I couldn’t be a priority to him. His family would come first. It still breaks my heart till this day. even though I feel like there is more to the story than what he’s telling me, but I do feel your pain and I’m really sorry that you are going through that.
I love the Sassy Blonde Woman!
I would like my family to love and respect my choice but it won't influence my opinion on my choice..my life my love
"You ain't never that in love though..." ha! So true!
In my honest opinion your family's opinion about who you date should only matter if you're under the age of 21 and you're still depending on them to provide your basic needs but if you're financially independent and can afford all of your own basic needs yourself then they can't say a damn thing about who you're dating
If you have great parents and relatives who have been invested in your wellbeing long before this relationship I believe it's a good idea to take a step back, do an assessment and take things slow. Ultimately the decision is yours
I feel like it's how you disapprove. Some people harp on it, and stew about it, get mad, take it personally, issue ultimatums. "Oh you better leave him or you can't come around here. After everything we've done for you. You don't know..." I feel like the right way to disapprove is just tell someone "Look, I love you , I wanna look out for you. Here are my concerns..... Now you don't have to defend any of them to me, and I won't mention it again, but I think you need to think about those things. Whatever you choose I'm here for YOU and I support YOU 100%." The obvious exception being if the other person is physically/verbally/emotionally abusive. Then you do whatever it takes to end it.
I like that white woman lol, she says it like it is. Us girls just like that fuzzy feeling, and that't not love, that't just a small percentage of it.
She is the best fit for the "REAL DAY TIME SHOW "
"you ain't ever that in love" true facts. Love may make you blind for some moments but you cant blame stupidity on love. Take some heed to why your parents have an opinion then take things from there.
Many years ago I lost my oldest Niece to a tragedy because she didn't LISTEN....I told her about the guy she was dating was not right MENTALLY....I kept saying this for 3 months continuously...Finally, on LABOR DAY that year, which was also my birthday, she was murdered by him....They only had dated less than a year....
CARLETTA HARRINGTON 😮 I am so sorry for the loss of your niece.
Nakikke Wallace Johnson
Thank you for your compassionate SPIRIT.....Blessings ALWAYS!!!....
So sad. Sorry for your loss.
idomagirl abahi
Thank you for your compassionate SPIRIT....Blessings ALWAYS....
My condolences, you did your part. I know you still think you could have done more, but at the end it came down to her choosing. :/
I didn't even realize that was TaRhonda 😨😨
LADIES/GENTLE MEN DO YOU FOLLOW YOUR HEART💕
Parents don't get a say. Their opinion doesn't matter. They dated and married who they wanted to and so shall I. I would totally date and marry a guy that my parents didn't like. However, I would not date or marry a man if his mother didn't like me. Especially if he had a very close relationship with her and cared about her feelings and opinion. She would become the "mother-in-law from hell" and he would allow it. So, no thanks. Having said that, if I met a man and we fell madly in love, his mother made it clear that she didn't like me, but the guy told me he was willing to sever ties with his mother in order to have me in his life and keep me from being abused. Yes. Bring it on.
As much as I believe we are all entitled to happiness, I firmly believe it is very important for me to have my parent's blessing. I've seen too many failed marriages because their marriage was not blessed. There is a reason they say with age comes wisdom and your parents will always have your best interest at heart.
Charlene Boezak unless you have toxic parents
So true Aaliya Griffin
"blessing"...is is like "permission" I don´t need permission.... sorry...
Why can’t these ladies just wait for one person to finish talking instead of interrupting everyone and making the whole thing a ladies thing!!
I love kim
When ur dating i think it does matter what your parents think but usually we dont like to listen to our parents when we are in "love" but as soon as you get married their opinion DOES NOT matter.. if they still continue talking bad about your spouse that can and will hurt your marriage badly
That’s why you cut them off
I'm just gonna throw it out there. There are plenty of people that end up with a baby while they are "JUST DATING". Saying not to listen while you are dating. That temporary dating phase ends up being a lifetime of hell if you don't pay attention.
I think it depends on the reason why they don't like the person you're dating. Like, if they didn't like him because the S.O. isn't their cup of tea, then I think its ok to take their opinion with a grain of salt. But if they're telling you to RUN, then you might wanna consider why then GTFO.
Garcell with that stiff Bobbi boss Yara wig
She looks really pretty. Her hair looks real. When black hair is straightened it has that stiff sort of look so I doubt its fake. You sound mad jealous though. You probably praise Kyle jenner who has fake everything LOL. Your opinions are not credible after that!
I don't know about all of this honestly. I've had people that my parents liked and then everything fell apart with that person, and I've dated guys that my momma didn't like...and one of them ended up being a dang good man. So, really it does depend upon your parent's and their type of people and choices in people. Because, the type of people my momma likes, honestly I just don't jive with. I don't care good of a guy he may be, if my momma likes him, it just isn't going to work out because they usually have no personality. Now, my daddy's taste in people I get along better with. But that didn't mean that I could date them and it work out.
I may not have always like what my daddy said, but I can look back and say that he usually nailed it when he told me how things would end up. He told me before, "Ya know, I like this guy...but it ain't gonna work out." Well, daddy was right. Just because they like them, doesn't mean they can pick someone that you like. My daddy tried twice to pick me a boy friend, and my older brother tried once...none of those were even remotely a good idea 😂
My mom is narcissistic sooo what should I do about that? Bc my boyfriend helps me and stands by me through everything and I’ve been in some very toxic relationships he would never do anything to hurt me but if he did I’ll let him know and he’ll pay attention and change that for me bc he knows im worth everything. And yet my mom still doesn’t like him.
I want my mom to approve of my guy. :)
see Steve have true real daddy qualities I'm not putting my dad down but I wish I had been fathered like this we need dads like him in the world and I wish my 25year old son would have gotten the opportunity to go to his boot camp mentoring place his dad did what he knew but it take so much to raise a son into being a man although, while I was a single mom sometimes, even when I was in a relationship with a, man it takes a village to raise children now a days
if they diapprove because of who they are rather than what they are then we cool..if they suggest i cant date them because they are this race or that religion.. sorry family but i am going ahead wi
th the date
Better to be with someone who has a respect to your parents who will rather to have your parents Blessings than your parents Permission.😊
I agree with Kim 100%. My mom has always been right about the guys I dated.
My mom doesn't want me to suffer like she did cuz his mom is lil.. Yk.. Strict(?) We're in college and are serious about our relationship. My mom doesn't approve of him cus we're the same age and our thoughts don't really match that much! It's really difficult for me to even meet him or go out at night, even if not with him, I have to hear a lot! Sarcasm, mockery, scoffing and all.. At times it just suffocates me.
I've NEVER dated anyone my family liked! One of them I was with for over 7 years! Can't say that I am any richer for the relationships other than I am stronger!
Wisdom comes/improves with age, so it depends when a person decides to commit to another person.
😂NO WAY. NO DATING/SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS=NOBODY INTRUDING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP & NO DRAMA.
BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. ITS NOT WORTH GETTING HURT BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE HUMAN. YOU'RE THE BEST STEVE FOR SAVING DAUGHTERS FROM GETTING PLAYED OR USED BY MEN.🎉
The kind of person you date is the kind you'll marry.
You’re in love, until reality hit.
My family are pretty much racist .. they didn't approve of my relationship from the start. I eventually got married to him, and I've never been happier. I've got my own new family now, with our own little one on the way. My sister has completely written me off. My mom speaks to me for the sake of still being able to speak to my first son .. I really don't care
If you have non toxic parents who respect your boundaries then you can have a healthy conversation about the person you are bringing home to potentially be your life partner. They'll be able to calmly articulate why they feel that that person isn't a suitable life mate.
Seeing as how I don't know a single damn oul who has non-toxic parents, I don't know how you're supposed to work it out. I would recommend going to premarital counseling with a licensed therapist, not a pastor. Explore your childhood trauma and how it causes you to act and behave in relationships and see if you are truly compatible with that person. Most often, the parent does not like the partner because the parent is a narcissist. If your parent is a narcissist, you are likely attracting other narcissists as partners, so they have conflict.
Having your daughter's partner followed is completely out of bounds. 1000% toxic and should not be considered emotionally healthy.
You should stop for a second and ask yourself if you would give that same advice to your best friend. I.e. If you are in an abusive relationship, would you tell your best friend to stay or run? If the only reason your family doesn't approve is because your partner's job is not glamorous enough or because of their ethnicity, would you tell your best friend to stay or run? Basically, whatever advice you would give your best friend, is the one you should follow. If that matches your family's advice, great. If it doesn't, your family will just have to suck it up.
Dating is the precursor to marriage so if you agree that your family's opinion matters if you getting married, it should matter when you dating!
Kim gives great relationship advice.
If going to get married to the person it's important that people you cared and loved you like your family need to be involve and get along. Hope God gave me a Man can Respect my Family and me as to his.🙏🙏🙏
My family doesn’t approve of my current relationship. Unknown to them my partner has a schizophrenia diagnosis and unfortunately doesn’t always take his meds. But since they don’t know that they think he’s on drugs lol. Because of his condition he’s burned some bridges with his family and they are intolerant to his symptoms. Admittedly I’m also overwhelmed by being the only person he has right now. It’s exhausting and this is not what I signed up for. But despite the pressures and criticisms from my friends and family I know that I have information that they don’t. He’s not an addict. He’s ill. And something just doesn’t feel right about abandoning a human being in desperate need of care. 💜
None because it is ultimately up to you. No say they gets no say.
I wouldn't care if my family didn't like my dating partner. I'm dating that person so they can like him, I'm dating that person, because I like him. If she/he don't like that person that their problem and I don't and won't care.
I would not care. It’s not their life. Point. Blank. Period. If they want nothing to do with me because of who I’m screwing…. I’m
Better off without them
Kim shoots while the gun is still IN its holster 🤣. She never seems to miss the target.
Ta'Ronda is so beautiful especially with long hair. Gorgeous black woman.
IS MORE HAPPINESSWHEN WE ,THE PARENTS BOTH SIDE, ARE IN AGREEMENT AND WILLBE HAPPY CHILDREN
I like this panel ♥️
My parents were married for 27 years before my mom passed away from cancer in 2016 at just 49. And my dad recently turned 68 so i'm not sure i would want to ask his advice because it might be dated. So if anything i might have to go to my brothers for dating advice when i'm ready cause my oldest brother has been married to his wife for almost 2 years
See my comment. Your dad may be older, but it doesn't stop him from having good intuition and wisdom. I think you should definitely take your dad's advice into consideration.
Well what i'll take from him i that i won't have a 16 year age difference between myself and my future significant other
Adam Granger If anything that age difference makes his advice more valuable.
Adam Granger, I advise you listen to your father more than your brother. I've been married for 7 years and if anyone asked me for advice at 2 years, I would have given a wrong answer. Now at 7 my opinion over things have changed. 27 years over 2 is a no brainer.
Advice from my parents yes. Advice from my siblings - if I don’t approve of your relationship I’m not taking any advice from you. That being said if any of them disapproved of my spouse before marriage I would have to take a step back & remove them blinders.
I feel like if your friends and family in general don't like the person you're dating, you should really pay attention to that... Figure out why, because chances are there's actually a red flag that they're seeing that you're not because you have on your rose-colored glasses. That being said, if you have just one friend or parent or sibling that's hating, it's probably rooted in some kind of jealousy or something. But I can tell you from experience, that if you're with the right person, they should be able to fit in with your circle of people fairly comfortably. If you can't take them to Thanksgiving, they probably aren't for you. The exception to this, though, would be if you're family is racist or something more extreme like that.
You ain't never that in love!
Love her!
Parents always know. If your close fam doesn't like your spouse it's usually for a good reason.
mom's be knowing and dads hold back on knowing too because all they want is for there child to be Happy that's what say but people need to stop holding back the truth and be real because these are real lives and things happen
For me, never again will I date someone without my family liking him. I was young, in love and missed the red flags that my family saw. They respected my choice to date him, but told me that they had some concerns. They let me figure it out for myself, but I'm older and wiser now. Ain't nobody got time to waste and I trust their judgement.
I think this is bad advice, follow your instinct. If I felt like a guy was not right for me, I would break up with him. Looking back I was right every time. I was in a vulnerable place and listened to my mother about continuing to date a guy I didn’t want to date anymore. She said she would be mad at me if I broke up with him, because she liked him. I thought ok she knows best, I’ll trust what she says. It was the biggest mistake of my life, the biggest!!! I took her approval and married him at 28, the day after I married Jekyll, Hyde came out. I divorced him at 45, he was cheating with everybody and I found out he was cheating before we were married. I should’ve listened to my instinct about him. I’m 59 and have not remarried. It’s very sad. Wish I had a Steve Harvey detective back then.
You ain’t never thaaat in love 😂💯
Just because you caught up in infatuation with a person, don’t try to force that person on your family and friends if your family and friends don’t like that person! It will just cause you to alienate yourself from your family and friends and cause you to be miserable!
I’m telling you right now I am very old-school classic girl you walk away from your mother your father your sister your brother I will walk away from anybody in my family if I love somebody nobody is going to tell me that I can’t love that person and if they go along with their family and they don’t stand up with for me they don’t stand up for me and they’re not willing to walk away to spend their life with me and not going to stand up for me to their family and say I love this woman and I don’t care what you think than I love myself enough to say I’m gonna walk away and I’ll find a man that has no problem being for me and only me