WILL I REGRET CHOOSING NOT TO HAVE KIDS?! ❌️👶🏻 *muslim podcast - reacting to TikToks - Andrew Tate*
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- Опубликовано: 28 окт 2024
- #podcast #tiktok #reaction
Feminism gone too far? Less women are choosing to have kids, why and what does this mean?
Welcome to a brand new British muslim couple podcast, today is a new series where we react to tiktoks and discuss deep issues about not having children. We delve into changes within our society, gender roles, feminism and more.
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Liyana & Noah
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Why do they think women will be living with cats????.... I never wanted children ever...... however, was pregnant at 18 had her at 19... the midwife told be brilliant age to have a child, ...and it took me a lot of years to get my head around it..(glad I had her now looking at it) parents evening funny in a way , who taught me taught her... BUT, I never understand how someone/anyone has such a strong opinion on another person on wether they have a child or not... they need to focus on their own life and less concern on what others are doing...... good to see you cracking up laughing. Xx
I'm glad you can look back and feel glad you had your daughter 💗✨️ I know lol 😆 hate the stigma with old women and cats 🐈 even if it is true, so what lol, it's nice to have cats 😂
This is beautiful 👏you had a personal desire, but life somehow took you in the other direction, your child chose you as the vehicle to fulfill their mission in this world and you accepted the mission too and now understand why it all happened that way. It wasn't about you it was about her and you both as a team. Having children is not bad and not having them is not bad either, each human has their own process, some can decide, some don't but both experiences are equally valid, including, and especially, living with cats xD that's a great experience too!!
@@aimethlira how beautifully wriitten lovely xx
My daughter chose not to have kids. She helped raise her step daughter and they have a wonderful relationship. She turned 40 and had her tubes tied. She runs a successful catering company. They travel a lot and have a lot of fun together. It is her body and her decision. That guy needs to shut up 🤐
That's wonderful Jackie, and definitely something I'd love to do / open to do.
I think you 2 are very brave to talk about this topic. And you do it in such a sensible, thoughtful way. I think people (especially women) are shamed for not having kids regardless of their religion and background. I hate these conversations. There are a lot of couples who struggle with fertility. They are almost always excluded from these conversations and they are shamed regardless.
And there are loads of (good!) personal, medical and societal reasons not to have children. I personally am heavily undecided, of course, not knowing if I even can have children, because I have never given it a try up until now. And for me, career is not that important in the matter. If I do end up having kids, I‘d happily put my career aside. But I have a blood clotting disorder and suffered from an eating disorder as a teen and I am terrified of it returning with hormonal/bodily changes during/after pregnancy. And my relationship with my boyfriend is so important to me. I‘m not willing to risk our happiness over a child. And that‘s just a few of my reasons not to have children.
In the end, I do think I‘d miss out on some of the good stuff that comes with parenthood. But there is a saying here in Germany that there is one death you have to die when making a decision like that.
Thank you so much for this video, it's very refreshing. You two are so charming.
I've known since age 9 that being childfree is the best way for me. I'm almost 37 now. Additionally I've become increasingly interested in Islam and am considering reverting. It helps knowing I wouldn't be alone as a childfree woman if or when I revert.
I wish both of you the very best. ❤
Thank you for your kind words 🥰 yes you definitely won't be alone. Take it easy and one step at a time on your journey to Islam ❤️ your life will be complete ✨️ and I can't wait for you to taste the sweetness of the faith 🥲🥲🥲
Hi, Liyana. Yesterday I finally reverted. It was one of the happiest days of my life. After my first visit to the mosque and meeting the sisters, I knew that it was time. Alhamdulilla. 🌻 Thank you so much for your kind words and the content you have to offer.
Mabrook mashaAllah ❤️ Islam is the most precious gift. Its my life, my peace. It provides so many answers, clarity.. I'm sure your special day was beautiful 😍 my mother reverted at 16 mashaAllah ❤️ I can only magine how beautiful the feeling is and the journey 💛💛💛 may your path be filled with ease, peace, beauty and blessings ❤️
@@liyanalife Thank you so much dear sister. It's one of the best decisions I've made. The day I spoke my Shahada was a day filled with an ocean of positive emotions, including me shedding happy tears. Out of curiosity are you part of a network or group of cf Muslims? I think a type of self-advocacy group would be awesome.
Cf muslims?
Im 51 years old and the only relative i have left in my life is my 75 year old mother. I have endometriosis and i also never found the right man for me to start a family with. Everyone has their own reasons to why they dont want or cant have children and noone should have to defend their own choices. For me its a hugh loss and life is extremly lonely and im terrified everyday to lose my mother because then what then im all alone in this world. I respect your choice to not have children and i just find it so very sad that ppl can be so cruel and not respect other ppls choices. Im sorry for my english but im swedish so its not perfect. Thank you for this it was very intresting ❤️
You're welcome! And your English was perfect ❤️ I'm so sorry, I know how you feel..I have the same concerns as I also have health issues. It is hard with those thoughts and worries. I'm sure we will be OK and manage fine ✨️ I just hope and tell myself God will get me through and find a way if I need
I am a mother of 5, grandmother of 7 and one on the way,great grandmother of 1, and I spend most of my life housebound alone with my 2 cats I see my family every to every other day via Facebook messenger video 🤷🏽♀️
I’m loving this topic but oh my! The generalisation of some of these people. 45% unmarried and no kids, how many of that 45% are lesbian, can’t have children for medical reasons, or are actually in long term life long partnerships just don’t believe in marriage. Don’t get me started on Andrew Tate, up until a few days ago I had not heard of him, and wish I still hadn’t. His views are narcissistic misogynistic and need to return to the Middle Ages. There is such pressure on women over children and when to have them. Then the pressure to be the be something kind of Wonder Woman parent constantly in an ever changing world. Yet nothing is said except behind closed doors whispered or gossiped about with certain people and how “they should never have had any children”. I know some women who never had a maternal bone in their body but made great mothers, some that would have loved children but struggled to have just one, some that you would think would make an amazing mother but never had any but doted on nieces and nephews, and some that are just in a hellish situation and doing the best they can with the cards they were dealt. Every one is individual and as individuals has the right to chose
Oh and the amount of eggs thing, true yes but when you know the science behind it, there still a lot of eggs. www.evewell.com/fertility-advice/how-many-eggs-does-a-woman-have/
Thank you for the link and for your comment! Very true especially at women being pressured to have kids and then the expectations on a woman after she has kids!
@@liyanalife I always wanted to be a mother some day, and I had my oldest when I was 22. My sister always wanted kids too but she was 27, but for a good few years I’d hear people and she would tell me of people asking when she would start having a family. Unfortunately in this day and age not only do parents, especially young parents have people telling them the “right” way but you have the keyboard warriors on top of that. I also totally agree about the shift in dynamics and hopefully one day there will be more balance to it. But as a nation, as a world, we have had a millennia of male dominance and female subservience. It was not always that way
All power to tate🔥🔥🔥🔥
Victims of westernisation. Please don't overthink it, it's a beautiful thing. My daughter was born a few months ago and i'm 24 now. I really look forward to when I'm older and talk to my kids while having the strength to still do my own things. It's absolutely not a burden and it should be a priority, especially for a woman. Listen to your instincts and don't silence them
Everyone and everybody's life and conditions are different.
Hi, my dears.
I always wanted to be a Mommy….. from as far back as I remember.
I had friends in high school, and college who didn’t feel as passionate about motherhood as I.
That didn’t mean they didn’t want kids; it simply meant that other wants came first. And this was in the 70s.
I still wanted to party, go to concerts, the movies and everything else, as well.
I think that the 26 year old woman opting for tubal ligation right away is making a mistake.
26 years old is a baby. What you may want at 26 may be quite different than what you may want a few years down the road. And that goes for anything, not just having children.
Some people are blessed to know what they want to be when they grow up. It’s a definite aspiration shown as the years go by and that child grows up to get the education and the training to be that….doctor, or lawyer, or artist or dancer, for examples.
And maybe that goes for the want of having kids, as in my case.
It was something I was definite about at a young age.
It’s hard on women when it comes to “having it all.”
A woman is still expected to do most of the parental nurturing, along with her desired career or just a necessary job to make ends meet.
If she’s lucky, she will have a supportive husband/ partner to lessen the load, and/or some outside help.
Just like not wanting a child, but down the years, a woman may change to wanting children, there are those women who couldn’t wait to be a mom, then, for whatever the reasons…as time marched on, either regretted or just didn’t feel the desire for motherhood as strong as years gone by.
💕💕💕
I think some are resolute and know what they want and don't regret there decisions, but I agree with you, a lot changes and you can't always be sure. There's certain things that may not change ie someone's health, but other things like money, can always pick up.
Well, 26 may be considered young to choose to get your tubes tied..but in todays society CHILDREN are choosing what gender they think they should be 💀
Thank you for watching and providing us with your insight! Love you xox
never felt the desire of being a mum and i do not like kids and people made fun of me for expressin my opinion...mah
👋🏼This was very interesting & yes everyone is allowed their own opinion but what I found intriguing was that most people thought the young ladies to be too young to make such a decision. I come from a very loving & close family & I am the 3rd daughter of 4. I made my decision not to have children in my 20’s although if I’m honest I thought about it a lot earlier but was too afraid to bring it up then. My sisters all had children & I have loved watching them grow into young adults & being part of their lives but do I now regret my earlier choice….no & I am not afraid of going into my senior years without the thought of no child of my own to take care of me, we don’t bring children into this world for ourselves they are independent beings with lives of their own & if the parents have done their job well then they should have no fear either.
It's kinda nice to have other subs who have also chosen not to have children. People look at me like an alien 👽 and most people don't even know my choice, they just think we can't have children and quietly think "she's getting on"
I think most people are shocked and think it is a drastic step and decision to get tubes tied etc and that "you never know"
Yesss exactly..I always reply that when people say well who will take care of you. But I suppose they think it natural, you give birth and raise them, when you're older they'd make sure you're taken care of, and if they have children, there children will do the same. For arab and Asian families this is more so.. it would be unheard of, for example, if a parent was taken to a nursing home while they have a son / children. It is EXPECTED they'd be taken care of.
@@liyanalife I know how you feel, we used to get the same remarks whenever we met new people & my husband bless him who has never tried to change my mind gets jibes from his work colleagues all the time.
Hi! i do not wanna have kids, they are not for me. People often criticizied me, but why do i have to create them ifi do not like them? i won't love them well or be able to take care of them. So it has no sense forcing me. What s the point of forcing someone to make someone else doing something he/she doesn' t want?
23:01 that was brutal 🤣
btw you once mentioned your husband is a software engineer, if he's looking for a job I'm happy to help
tbh economics play a major role in this day and age. everything has been extremely expensive and surely society is degrading (morally and culturally) in concerning rate
Lol 😆 🤣 just wanted to add a bit of banter, dw I asked him if he wants it edited out. I think it's tough times on everyone 💀
But that's so kind! He was applying for jobs before, he is after SEO roles currently.
It is true, about economics..it rules a lot unfortunately
@@liyanalife yeah, it was a good one 🤣🤣
While I work as a software developer, I can still try to see if we have any interesting SEO related roles where I work, can I get his email (just to get his CV and more info)
Very interesting discussion, I am a mother and it certainly is the most wonderful thing I have ever done in my life, but it absolutely isn’t for everyone! I never see this being mentioned in these kinds of discussions but I think women have much more awareness than our mothers/grandmothers did. From magazines to social media we can see all of the physical and mental health issues that can come with pregnancy/birth/post natal and in my opinion this plays a role in women’s decision making whether conscious or unconcious
💯 % well said!
My daughter and Her wife they got married this weekend do not want to have children,they both have very high powered jobs. They like being the cool aunties. I respect that they don’t want children. They said if they feel the want to be parents they will foster or adopt older children. Who there just stick to their three cats Leo,pickle ad pumpkin. I always said to my daughter don’t be a sheep and do want you what you feel is right for you. I have two grand children from my son . There nothing wrong with cats I love cats 🐱 I have cats 🐈⬛ and a poodle. Also some old people who have kids are lonely as they don’t see their kids. Great podcast.💖🐩🐩💖👍👍🐈⬛🐈⬛❤️❤️🧚🐱🕊🌈
Very true about older people being lonely even with children because they don't see them. I like that you respect your daughter's decision 💗💗💗
Such an interesting topic.I am 70 now have 3 adult kids and 6 grandkids whom I love dearly and I know that talks cheap but I wouldn't do it again particularly the way the world is going.having a child is a lifelong commitment and hard work and having them can break a happy relationship up .but in the end it is a woman's choice and her body.there is deck nothing wrong with having cats !! Silly people aren't they x
Yeh the world isn't a very great place right now lol 🥴🙈 and I definitely agree.. it can break (or make- but should never be a reason to have a child) a relationship. And thanks for agreeing about the cats! Ha. Xx
good to see you regular
Thank you! We're trying haha x
I would come and look after you both when you are older 😇 but i am an oldie myself 👵🏻 . And i know your cats are not a substitute, some people are silly.
Look after yourselves, great video.
😘 xx
Thank you Maxine! You're so sweet. We love you! ❤️
Such an interesting topic ^^ I also really feel like it's a very personal matter, and no two cases are the same, so everyone has to find out for themselves what they want :)
I am terrified of having kids haha, but I do think I want kids in the future. So my plan is to wait as long as I can so I can grow more and enjoy our couple life, build a career etc. It's tricky tho because I don't wanna wait too long either for biological reasons.
But I do want to make sure I'm as ready as I can be, because raising a child is not easy, even if you love kids ^^
That's also why I found what that lady said "just have one kid at least and see how it goes" pretty bad 🙈
Yes lol 😆 such a bad thing to suggest.. that's what people say when I encourage spaying a female cat! And I think it's bad enough then let alone for a human!
A lot of people feel that way, petrified. But you'd make a wonderful cool young at heart, kind, hip mum 🥰 when you are ready 💗💗💗
@@liyanalife True, even for pets it's not good advice 😅
Aww, thank you, that's sweet 🤗❤
The purest form of love is not experienced until you have a child. It does truly change your life. Nothing is better than when they put their little hand in yours or when they're an infant they grab onto your finger. I do agree that if children are going to be abused or neglected yeah that's not a good thing and for those people who are smart enough to realize I should not procreate that's a win-win situation. My besties sister did not want children and so she would spoil her nephews but at the end of the day she was lonely and died alone with her cats. My husband had an abusive father and when we had our kids we didn't spank them so to speak just because he didn't want to be triggered in any way. He's the best dad ever and now he's the best Grandpa. I guess it's a personal thing but what a sad thing to look back at the end of your life and say you know I really wish I would have had at least a child. Blessings and much love
@@aimethlira I voiced MY opinion and what motherhood has meant for ME. Other than my Creator IMO it is the purest form. I think you made more or read more into what I said. My heart goes out to those who cannot carry their own children but they have the option to ADOPT. I never meant to hurt anyone in any way. I'm sorry it triggered you. Blessings and much love
I'm not sure what the person said who deleted their comment, but you are free to voice your opinion Rhonda ✨️ I know you firmly believe having a child is something beautiful and a shame to miss out on the love and special moments it can bring. I definitely understand what you're saying 💗
@@liyanalife it was very mean. Said I was rude and he hoped no women who couldn't have kids didn't read my post. Yadda yada and we all die alone on and on it was a long post
To each there own ❤️🙏❤️ this world now a days is hard bring up kids! I got 4 to worry about 😂 Mashallahhhh… just saying it really takes a toll but it’s also rewarding ! 🙃😄
Mashallah ♥️ 4 ✨️ I'm sure you do a wonderful job. I know it is soooo hard but so rewarding also 😍
I’m here!!
Thank you Martina! I hope you enjoyed this ep too 🥰😘
Im here too xx
Thank you Maxine 💗
I love this topic but I wish you'd let your wife finish her thoughts. I married an engineer as well so I can see his excitement in the possibilities of the future & science etc but still let your wife speak
Hi I just wanted to say having you tubs tide is permanent I have 4 kids but I was told to have no more as they all was born by c section so I had my tubs tide doctors usely won't do it to your around 30 or medical reason but you can have untied if you want kids down the line but it doesn't always work nice video again thanks for bringing it up
hello liyana and how your day going and have you thought about live streaming on twitch and starting your own podcast and starting your own vlog channel on youtube and starting your own tiktok account and starting your own discord account and starting your own patreon account or onlyfans account in the future