It almost sounds like he is just doing what he is doing at his job. Like this is another hour long song and dance routine. Maybe he is neurodivergent and doesn't have success communicating normally but at least he has this style of communication so he'll try it. But you have to respect people's boundaries and treat them as individuals, there is no excuse for not doing that. I relate to her situation more tbh but I can try to understand why this guy might be acting this way.
As an autistic neurodivergent person, that does not explain his behavior, that’s not an excuse. I get that it’s harder for us to understand social boundaries intuitively but we can learn, that’s creepy regardless of his neurodivergence
@@quaketh6823this is exactly what I was coming here to say. I definitely agree the girl shouldn’t have doxed him but the neurodivergent take was off for me
for real, to me it feels more like that type of guy who likes to predate among ND women because he's ableist and manipulative. I honestly don't think he's on the spectrum or anything like that.
Being a bad person doesn’t mean you are not allowed to have a mental illness? I don’t understand this logic that you’re only allowed to be neurodivergent in a certain way? You don’t have to like or empathise with someone just because their bad habits are the result of mental illness. You aren’t a bad person for thinking a particular crazy person deserves to be held accountable for their actions. Having a mental illness is not an excuse, it’s an explanation, and you don’t need to deny the existence of someone mental illness to refuse to accept that alone as an apology. The other side of this is that you and other zoomers shouldn’t really be proud of being neurodivergent, because there was a time when being crazy implied you were…well…crazy. You can’t say ‘ohh I’m autistic but I’m the cool kind so love me and give me attention but don’t associate me with any negative qualities and also excuse all my bad habits.’
Everyone ill say this, as someone who is autistic, we don't understand boundaries until we are taught them, trust me... I've done weird ass shit. He isn't a psycho... he just doesn't understand boundaries and now his life is ruined because millions have seen these messages. Yes, what he did was a creepy af, however countless guys send dick pics and harass women. Also plenty women send inappropriate messages if you're in shape (I've had many back when I was a PT) (not a flex at all). I hope he's OK. Yes he was creepy but don't share his photo and name to millions and contact his damn care home where he probably helps elderly people have some happiness.
@@NeuroLifting(Prefice before reading: I am also autistic) The guy admitted he had done this before. There is no way anyone he talked to earlier hadn't said anything. He knew he shouldn't do it.
I had one really bad experience with a therapist when I was struggling in middle school, and even though I’ve always recognized the benefit of therapy, that bad experience has always made it feel basically impossible to find someone who is a good fit for me. Hearing Maya walk step-by-step through her process of finding someone has made it feel totally feasible and doable and I appreciate that a lot. I’m ready to start looking.
Another channel that might help with talking through therapist things and how to find someone who is right for you is Mickey Atkins. She’s a therapist and talks about pop culture stuff and also just general therapist-adjacent things. She’s helped normalize therapy for me by both actually talking about therapy and how it works and stuff and also just normalizing concepts talked about in therapy in relation to normal pop culture stuff. She doesn’t do similar content to Maya and QT really but might be someone to look into if the normalizing therapy thing helps you feel better about it
It's a great way to "break the ice" but please build the courage to go in person, it is a much better experience. Even phone calls are not the same. Good luck with your experience. I hope it works for you!!!!
I find it so interesting how the sub thing is perceived by a non-technical or layperson audience. Because I'm an engineer and most of my friends are engineers, our perspective is totally different. The guy was frankly semi insane and pretty stupid at every possible turn. There are certifications and pre-existing data to show what's possible and what needs to be done to make a sub survive to that depth, this guy intentionally ignored pretty much all of that in favor of low cost.
As a non engineer he seemed like someone who read Atlas Shrugged and bought into all the concepts in that book; then fatally discovered why the book is delusional trash. He did his own research and it turns out he's an awful researcher.
The Bumble guy has police reports filed against him, and he's literally stalked people and is racist has a whole 20-plus thread on him shows who he is there for no reason to feel bad for him. Also, the girls that are sharing it with her have given her consent to post it.
@@jerome1lm did any of the girls give consent for him to go to find their other social media and act like a weirdo? Or for him to find the jobs they work at and call them multiple times and leave reviews, making them uncomfortable to the point they have to ask their brothers to walk them home. But you care more about his consent, right?
@@jerome1lm until there are rules established that protect women in these kind of situations rather then hearing "we can't do anything until something awful happens", i refuse to have sympathy for a person like that. it's scary. it makes women feel unsafe. it's fucking ridiculous to have be scared in every aspect of your life because a guy is stalking you.
As far as the whole Titanic Sub debacle, regardless of how you feel about their death, was almost entirely preventable and is another example of how people with money feel like the rules don’t apply to them. Also, I don’t think they actually ran out of air, I’m fairly certain the sub imploded at such high pressure that they hopefully did not suffer, it might’ve been one of the quickest deaths anyone has ever experienced on par with those at the very center of a nuclear bomb. Like 10,000 lbs of water pressure applied to ever surface of your body in an instant would not only kill you, but destroy every part of you on a cellular level. Total obliteration
Thank you. Oceangates CEO knowingly murdered those people out of pure safety negligence. If he would have simply listened to the actual specialist around him telling him valid concerns all of these deaths could have been prevented.
The stupidest thing about the submarine is that the guy who made it was saying there was too many safety regulations in the submarine industry. 🤦♀️ How did no one expect issues?
everyone in the submarine space warned him and criticized the design repeatedly but he just ignored it, he even fired one of his engineers who told him the design was extremely unsafe
It is this exact thing that makes it hard for me to have too much sympathy for the people who he murdered. Like obviously they were his victims, but god I feel like I would seriously question the judgement of people who took him seriously.
A lot of the joking about the sub tragedy was mostly due to the coverage that the rich receive for tragedies while the media turns blind eyes to far worse things the working class or poor experience. This tragedy was especially primed for this reaction because that same week over 300 refugees drowned of the coast of Greece and it was barely covered in relation to the OceanGate sub.
@@Bibblesupremacy1992 Maya has talked about her illicit drug usage on Wine About It multiple times. I can't remember if QT has, but it wouldn't surprise me.
Yo, autistic here and that was hella agro way to flirt with someone. I have a hard time understanding people’s emotions, but stalking isn’t cool in any capacity. 😬 Also awesome episode as always!🍷
one of the billionaires who died is one of the few people you can point to and say they're directly killing the planet singlehandedly. i can't bring myself to feel empathy when mother nature gives that person a painless, instant death most of us will never get despite never doing a fraction of the harm
@@Bob13454 The billionaires on board were not good people and should be given no sympathy. They would not give you any so why give them any? The researcher and the 19-year-old are obviously not included in that sentiment, but that doesn't give an excuse to everyone else. I can say fuck these people specifically and that's it.
im sorry but you can't ignore the fact that the ceo literally ignored all safety measures. He killed everyone. jokes aside, he deserves the responsibility
I don't think that's what QT was saying. It was more that the CEO didn't intend to kill people, and QT was empathising a person who's passion ended getting blood on his hands. I don't think he was evil, just fucking stupid.
I think you missed a huge part in the submarine thing. The CEO/owner of this whole thing on purpose tried to skip over safety and said that the submarine has to much safety protocols. Like this was avoidable if he just didn't hate the safety protocols
As a psychologist-in-training, we are trained specifically NOT to give advice. It's extremely common for clients to want our advice, however, but we are (generally) cautious not to direct you in one direction or another, especially regarding relationships, life advice, etc. Hope that explains why this is the first time she shared with you!
Me too (psychologist in training), you are 100% right. How open they are about their struggles and therapy makes the pod so interenting to me, on top of the great stories, convos and chemestry of course
As a dude, the bumble guy is just scary lmao. The girls probably should've shut him down immediately instead of allowing him to explain why he cyberstalked his way into their dms, but it's 100 percent the dudes fault since he's done it before. He didn't reach out because he's a quirky boy and thought they'd be a good match. He reached out because he's a narcissist and WANTED her. He sounds like hes just a redditor that looked up how to pick up a girl. All that said, yeah the girl should've covered his name or whatever bc doxing is never okay unless it's a threatening thing. Internet houses too many psychos and the dude could be in actual danger
I feel like the is just a bit autistic and has no idea of what is an ok thing to do. The fact that he has done it before doesn't mean that it is his fault, becuause I seriously doubt that anyone would take the time to explain to him why it is wrong to do it. I will say that he is a bit narcissistic and has some redditor qualities, but doesn't really seem like a bad dude because to me he seemed genuine and also apologized many times for being a wierdo.
@TheKindDelinquent idk I've known plenty of toxic people that do bad things, apologize And admit they're doing bad things, then continue to do them. Most of the time they're apologizing to sound empathetic and keep you on their side when in reality they mean none of it
@@AwkwardStreams I'm not saying that he isn't toxic, I just don't think there is enough info about the guy to definitevly say that he is a bad person and just assume that from 2 encounters he had with people. And then people go after his job and bully him on the internet which is just too far in my opinion.
The "Oh yeah, I'm absolutely a very humble person" and then proceeds to talk about themselves and their "attributes" reminds me a lot of the song "Humble" by Lonely Island. Great ep!
Good job to Maya for explaining how to find a therapist. I did the whole process for my girlfriend, and for a psychiatrist. Yet I've been putting it off for myself forever because it feels like too much work. But this will spur me into action.
Maya’s advice on how to find a therapist gave me a lot of confidence. Your podcast and how open you speak about therapy and mental health has really helped normalize it for me and has encouraged me to find help for myself. I’m starting to get professional help after putting it off for years. Keep it real Favorite emoji: 😳
Two parts to this, I'm Autistic and ADHD. 1. The billionaires I have 0 empathy for, billionaires are billionaires because they actively seek profit over people. Billionaires by nature do not have empathy for the common person and beyond that, use their wealth to separate themselves from society. 2. The dude who sent the crazy messages is absolutely autistic but also definitely has narcissistic tendencies (it can be hard to differentiate sometimes). I think what he did was gross and creepy, I don't think it warrants being put on large scale social blast that will effect his livelihood.
The biggest tragedy of the sub situation is seeing the whole Western world care so much about 5 rich guys in a sub they got into voluntarily after signing risk waivers, while boats full of hundreds of desperate migrants sink in the Mediterranean sea and no one gives a damn. Or at least nowhere near as much of a damn. I saw someone say it's just a great news story with a finite timeline, while the migrants on a boat situation is a far more tricky unending situation with mixed opinions and grey morality in our increasingly xenophobic societies, so it just makes a less captivating story.
Yeah it's the fact it was unique and movie esque it got so much media attention. Meanwhile the migrant crisis has been on going for years with huge numbers of similar events to the recent Greek ship, it's sadly old news. Not exact but you could compare it to how commonplace school shooting became in the news cycle, from months on one it's a new head line a week. The titan has nothing similar.
I occasionally find socials of people I'm already talking to and gearing up to go on a date with, to make sure they exist and I'm not being catfished, and that they don't seem like a murderer. Maybe that's creepy of me, I'm just very paranoid. I would never in a million years reach out to someone through a social they didn't give me though, nor go looking for it if we weren't already talking, that's a boundary I wouldn't cross but maybe I've already gone too far by trying to find them?
can confirm in the 90's that is how it went, we had the news and the newspaper and that was the story we knew. Independents were scarce and not generally believed (because of propaganda from news corps) and even trashy magazines were harder to dispute before the internet was common and celebs could talk for themselves freely. people are just more informed now.
45:35 I keep a journal. I can see a pattern of a person making me feel bad over and over by flipping through and pages. I don’t think it’s toxic. Sometimes you don’t realize how bad someone is for you.
already heard the vms so absolutely had to skip through them but loved this! kinda softly therapeutic for some triggers. also maya’s disgusted angery face is absolutely priceless. thanks for going into how to find a therapist quickly. feel like it always takes forever, and i didnt know psychtoday had that 🤷🏾♀️
me and qt are the same person the way she copes with humor and “brush it off” energy is me to the T, but then i’m also maya when i’m tryna talk about my experiences and then kinda never being listened to and feeling like it’s not as bad as what the other person is saying. a….happy.. medium of both 🤭… but then also qt by wanting to be there for someone but the only way u know how is to try and relate to them and crack jokes
Honestly, the voice message guy seems a lot like the guy from Creep. Just listening to it without a face (because I have only heard this from Wine About It and The Yard) I just imagine that guy's face. Also, QT with all the Slimeisms was great, alright man.
YOURE SO SPOT ON i literally thought about the scene in Creep when he sends the video tape and calls the guy to talk about it and set up their final meeting. shit was so creepy
@@lucaskohl8009 He just has a bunch of folders of voice messages he's sent to every girl, including screenshots of the messages. He has them all on his computer. Let's be real though, what he's doing is kinda serial killer behavior.
I had a 10 hour shift then about 3 hours sleep and now an 8 hour shift in a boring quiet retail job where I'm the only staff member in the shop. I've got tea ans a Redbull and nice wine about it to keep me going xD love the podcast ❤
Around the time those five people went missing in the submarine hundreds of refugees died in a sinking boat near Greece, with a hundred-odd children in the hold. Jokes about the former were far less disturbing to me than silence about the latter.
32:49 I think a big part of the jokes were centered at the greed inspired negligence. At least the memes I saw were centered around stuff like using trash equipment and logitech controllers
having to leave a good therapist sucks. after years of trying therapy I finally found a therapist that I really clicked with. unfortunately since I am disabled and a dependant under my parents, my mother (who didn't like my therapist) without my say-so switched her. hopefully when i can get on disability payments i can go back to seeing her.
45:00 nah this helped me start the separation process from my last (extraordinarily abusive) ex. definitely helpful for the forgetful and those who catch themselves forgiving things they would never usually let slide. it also helped when an argument started and he’d try to gaslight me into thinking i said or did something i didn’t do/he never said or did something he did do. horrifying that i even had to do that (and more) but trauma bonds and hopeful attachment are very realll and surprisingly hard to escape
i thought i was bad for doing it at first, but it did help a ton when i was thinking i needed to apologize to him and do whatever. i think it’s only a problem because people make it a problem, and it’s better to do this than to stick out a bad decision and stay miserable while feeling like you don’t have a good enough excuse to leave. again, the person i’m talking about was EXTREMELY abusive in every kind of way and i STILL somehow felt like i shouldn’t leave him for various reasons. some my fault, many his. which is why writing it down immediately (instead of listening to the gaslighter) helped a TON. at some point we’ll grow into being decisive enough on our own to just leave, but it’s a decent mechanism for now lol. doesn’t make any of us weak, we’re just taught to love as much as we can and that’s just not the best course of action sometimes. and anybody who got down here, please be safe and take care of yourself 🤍
uhhh... that guy was definitely displaying a lot of red flags. backhanded compliments, the oversharing, boasting of himself, confident that he can read people, searching these people up, lack of boundaries. he has done this to multiple people so that shows he's so unaware of his behavior.... his disorder is not an excuse,
Maya drinking beer, QT: "oh, she is such a pick me girl" QT drinking whisky: "I am not like the other girls" Also Maya: basically a farmer for strange animals Also QT: makes fancy and colorful cakes But I have no idea how "the other girls" are, so maybe QT is right :D love them both!
Everyone ill say this, as someone who is autistic, we don't understand boundaries until we are taught them, trust me... I've done weird ass shit. He isn't a psycho... he just doesn't understand boundaries and now his life is ruined because millions have seen these messages. Yes, what he did was a creepy af, however countless guys send dick pics and harass women. Also plenty women send inappropriate messages if you're in shape (I've had many back when I was a PT) (not a flex at all). I hope he's OK. Yes he was creepy but don't share his photo and name to millions and contact his damn care home where he probably helps elderly people have some happiness.
I mean I was pretty unempathetic and memey towards the sub thing because I saw their actions equal to the guy who tried to block a desert eagle bullet with a book for a youtube video. Basic research tells you that going down in that sub to the depth they were planning to go is practically assisted group suicide. The only person I feel empathy for is the persons son as they were somewhat guilted into doing it for fathers day and had even mentioned being afraid.
Regarding the submarine jokes - you have to understand that it is not 'hur dur rich people so who cares' but that the rich guy had someone in charge of safety and when the safety guy was raising alarms about the quality of the submarine, the rich guy instead of addressing the issues fired the safety guy. Its a rich guy being rich and stupid thinking he can ignore physics because he has money and subs haven't had any major issues in decades I guess? And that's where the comedy comes from - the absurdity of this totally avoidable deaths but rich guy who definitely has the money to deal with the issues felt like cheapening out on safety and seaworthiness of the sub. Its an absurdist tragicomedy
even if the dude is autistic, i think his behavior isn't really defensible. even if he has trouble with social cues, he constantly references how he knows what he's doing is weird and crossing boundaries. and dating apps come with the social cues built in, if you match with someone you talk to them, if you don't you don't. i don't think he should be bullied on the basis of him being cringe or whatever though, that's not really the issue. if he matched with her and then was kinda weird and annoying that'd be different but instead he kinda stalked her
When you keep track of times that didn't fit well is called a receipt journal and it is crucial!! The only part is wrong is that we have to gain evidence to feel valid in our experience. Not the one journaling, but those that do the gaslighting. Good for work and relationships!!
hey Ballast Point! That's an LB classic, if you guys keep doing the beer thing, I recommend Victory at Sea. It's a dark, chocolate beer. Very good. Me and my buddies often grab a growler of that for parties.
my psychiatrist at the psych ward told me to live w my abusive parents after i tried to kms instead of going to a youth shelter and getting social housing. i did it because i was too broken to deal with a shelter that is min security prison in disguise, and after a month i ended up in the shelter anyway because my father told me i had to leave during the day every day until i got a job.
yea I guess it's just ignorance of the full breadth of this guy's delusion, as an engineer and learning about the construction of the sub it just boggles the mind that this dude made such a death trap and thought it was perfectly safe
she wasn't defending him at all. She was merely empathising with the intent of the sub mission: to show people some cool ass history. The CEO isn't evil, as far as I can tell; Just an idiot.
@@noahmay7708 obviously not evil, but definitely some thing, especially after he was told multiple times by his engineers, that this wasn’t safe and he would fire the engineers that would question him
QT and Maya always have the craziest stories 😂 I know they were joking about the 'Im not like other girls' thing, but they have such unique and traumatising origin stories that they could both be Main Characters in their own right. ❤ Great Pod as usual 🤷♀️
Rejection is super complicated and so is dating. For some people, women not making a move means she isn't interested, for some people, they want you to make a move and if you don't they tell you how you could've had em and then leave lol
A brewery in Muenster, Indiana, named 3 Floyd’s brews this amazing stout called Dark Lord Marshmallow Handjee in a variety of whiskey barrels with vanilla beans. The result is a thick beer with flavors of bourbon, chocolate, marshmallows, and vanillas, every year’s production just a little different, keeping fans coming back. WOW I wanna get 1 day though price is wack is $711!💩👀😱🤣😂
I am also an IPA-loving girly and every man I've dated hates them lmaooo they take one sip and go "OH you like that??? You like drinking shampoo out the bottle too, you freak?"
So, i have a some perspective on mister bumble dude. I'm a perennial first date fail 29 yrs old dude: and for a good reason I'm anxious depressed little person thing and up to this year i was extremely unkind to myself and my body. I'm better now, i worked on it and never resented any of the girls that rejected me, i always had a healthy respectful outlook on rejection ( even if my ego is damaged, which it does I'm flewd human like everyone else). This guy is not ok no matter how fucked up his chemicals are. I don't message girls out of tinder even if they have their socials on their bio, even if we did match, if I'm not specifically invited there I'm like a vampire at the doorstep. I find it extremely important to act well on boundaries because *i* Suffer from anxiety and avoid inflicting it to others, it's an easy concept to follow. Also, the context of the updates on the dude show him to be so fucking trash, he lashes at rejections he hit on someone in professional circles that had to block him and hurt her professional standing due to his inconsiderate actions. He called girls sluts and said people were canceling him when rejected (before the viral tweet!) I'm not sorry for this dude at all. *Also point of order apologizing for maybe coming off as creepy is not enough or redeeming, avoid doing actions that might warrant that.
I don't know if bumble guy is actually neurodivergent or not but, that doesn't excuse his behavior. I'd be more inclined to believe he isn't on the spectrum and is just trying to excuse his creepy behavior so women will just pass it off as something benign.
I don't think the what learn of him here is enough to tell either way nor would it change sending the message being cringe\weird, being ND makes alot of social stuff harder, but at the start he recognised this is potentially crossing a boundary so was aware. I think the doxxing was too far either way to.
HOW DID THE BUMBLE GUY KEEP GOING AND GOING THAT IS GENUINELY SCARY
Some people just really like themselves, lmao.
Im more shocked he got through all of that without her blocking him and filing a restraining order LMAO
he sounds like a scripted youtube video
It's scarier that he's done it atleast to double digit women with the same script
It almost sounds like he is just doing what he is doing at his job. Like this is another hour long song and dance routine. Maybe he is neurodivergent and doesn't have success communicating normally but at least he has this style of communication so he'll try it. But you have to respect people's boundaries and treat them as individuals, there is no excuse for not doing that. I relate to her situation more tbh but I can try to understand why this guy might be acting this way.
The audio messages was a brutal listen lmao
AH UPDATE IT GOT SO MUCH WORSE AHRHDHSHAHAJAL
I went on Psychology Today and reached out to 2 therapists, thank you Maya and QT for giving me the confidence to do so :)
Well done mate 🤗
Maya widening her eyes before QT explains why she hated the Little Mermaid.
monkaW 😂
Apparently even maya knows the Bailey sisters are untouchable
“Please dont pull a white woman and get us cancelled”
QT drinking saying "smells like my stepdad" is most classic QT thing she did
As an autistic neurodivergent person, that does not explain his behavior, that’s not an excuse. I get that it’s harder for us to understand social boundaries intuitively but we can learn, that’s creepy regardless of his neurodivergence
Neurodivergent can also mean something like adhd which I feel like is what he was referring to, not autism
@@quaketh6823this is exactly what I was coming here to say. I definitely agree the girl shouldn’t have doxed him but the neurodivergent take was off for me
he even said i know i shouldn’t be doing this so it shows a recognition of the boundary he’s about to cross
@@Discountbozehe wasnt doxed its just his name
Non-autistic neurodivergent person here: seconded. There's a point where creepiness is so overt that anyone on Earth knows it's creepy.
us neurodivergent people do NOT claim the psycho bumble guy
for real, to me it feels more like that type of guy who likes to predate among ND women because he's ableist and manipulative. I honestly don't think he's on the spectrum or anything like that.
Being a bad person doesn’t mean you are not allowed to have a mental illness?
I don’t understand this logic that you’re only allowed to be neurodivergent in a certain way?
You don’t have to like or empathise with someone just because their bad habits are the result of mental illness. You aren’t a bad person for thinking a particular crazy person deserves to be held accountable for their actions. Having a mental illness is not an excuse, it’s an explanation, and you don’t need to deny the existence of someone mental illness to refuse to accept that alone as an apology.
The other side of this is that you and other zoomers shouldn’t really be proud of being neurodivergent, because there was a time when being crazy implied you were…well…crazy. You can’t say ‘ohh I’m autistic but I’m the cool kind so love me and give me attention but don’t associate me with any negative qualities and also excuse all my bad habits.’
.
Everyone ill say this, as someone who is autistic, we don't understand boundaries until we are taught them, trust me... I've done weird ass shit. He isn't a psycho... he just doesn't understand boundaries and now his life is ruined because millions have seen these messages. Yes, what he did was a creepy af, however countless guys send dick pics and harass women. Also plenty women send inappropriate messages if you're in shape (I've had many back when I was a PT) (not a flex at all).
I hope he's OK. Yes he was creepy but don't share his photo and name to millions and contact his damn care home where he probably helps elderly people have some happiness.
@@NeuroLifting(Prefice before reading: I am also autistic) The guy admitted he had done this before. There is no way anyone he talked to earlier hadn't said anything. He knew he shouldn't do it.
That Bumble guy had me SCREAMING just totally socially disconnected
I had one really bad experience with a therapist when I was struggling in middle school, and even though I’ve always recognized the benefit of therapy, that bad experience has always made it feel basically impossible to find someone who is a good fit for me. Hearing Maya walk step-by-step through her process of finding someone has made it feel totally feasible and doable and I appreciate that a lot. I’m ready to start looking.
poggers
Another channel that might help with talking through therapist things and how to find someone who is right for you is Mickey Atkins. She’s a therapist and talks about pop culture stuff and also just general therapist-adjacent things. She’s helped normalize therapy for me by both actually talking about therapy and how it works and stuff and also just normalizing concepts talked about in therapy in relation to normal pop culture stuff. She doesn’t do similar content to Maya and QT really but might be someone to look into if the normalizing therapy thing helps you feel better about it
thank you maya, I never thought I could just send an email as a first point of contact to a therapist. that is so much less intimidating
It's a great way to "break the ice" but please build the courage to go in person, it is a much better experience. Even phone calls are not the same. Good luck with your experience. I hope it works for you!!!!
I find it so interesting how the sub thing is perceived by a non-technical or layperson audience. Because I'm an engineer and most of my friends are engineers, our perspective is totally different. The guy was frankly semi insane and pretty stupid at every possible turn. There are certifications and pre-existing data to show what's possible and what needs to be done to make a sub survive to that depth, this guy intentionally ignored pretty much all of that in favor of low cost.
As a non engineer he seemed like someone who read Atlas Shrugged and bought into all the concepts in that book; then fatally discovered why the book is delusional trash. He did his own research and it turns out he's an awful researcher.
@kingmanic, ironically, a fellow engineer leaving for law school told me a day dream he had where he reinvented rapture with objectivism
I'd like to make note about how he's on the record saying that he had to break some rules to start up his business, so, yeah...
Yeah same! There's a quote somewhere he's said something a kin to we can't let safety keep us from achieving greatness
@@kingmanic The guy that ran the company is libertarian aka someone who would be big into Atlas Shrugged.
The Bumble guy has police reports filed against him, and he's literally stalked people and is racist has a whole 20-plus thread on him shows who he is there for no reason to feel bad for him. Also, the girls that are sharing it with her have given her consent to post it.
@@jerome1lm did any of the girls give consent for him to go to find their other social media and act like a weirdo? Or for him to find the jobs they work at and call them multiple times and leave reviews, making them uncomfortable to the point they have to ask their brothers to walk them home. But you care more about his consent, right?
@@jerome1lmnah, it only seems that you care too much about that dude 😒
@@jerome1lm until there are rules established that protect women in these kind of situations rather then hearing "we can't do anything until something awful happens", i refuse to have sympathy for a person like that. it's scary. it makes women feel unsafe. it's fucking ridiculous to have be scared in every aspect of your life because a guy is stalking you.
The way bumble guy NEVER fucking stopped talking holy shit bro it never fucking ends what the fuck
As far as the whole Titanic Sub debacle, regardless of how you feel about their death, was almost entirely preventable and is another example of how people with money feel like the rules don’t apply to them. Also, I don’t think they actually ran out of air, I’m fairly certain the sub imploded at such high pressure that they hopefully did not suffer, it might’ve been one of the quickest deaths anyone has ever experienced on par with those at the very center of a nuclear bomb. Like 10,000 lbs of water pressure applied to ever surface of your body in an instant would not only kill you, but destroy every part of you on a cellular level. Total obliteration
💯
Thank you. Oceangates CEO knowingly murdered those people out of pure safety negligence. If he would have simply listened to the actual specialist around him telling him valid concerns all of these deaths could have been prevented.
@@singhsaurabh247 exactly
Sometimes I feel like I'm an awkward person, then I hear things like the bumble guy and am way less worried.
The stupidest thing about the submarine is that the guy who made it was saying there was too many safety regulations in the submarine industry. 🤦♀️
How did no one expect issues?
everyone in the submarine space warned him and criticized the design repeatedly but he just ignored it, he even fired one of his engineers who told him the design was extremely unsafe
It is this exact thing that makes it hard for me to have too much sympathy for the people who he murdered. Like obviously they were his victims, but god I feel like I would seriously question the judgement of people who took him seriously.
A lot of the joking about the sub tragedy was mostly due to the coverage that the rich receive for tragedies while the media turns blind eyes to far worse things the working class or poor experience. This tragedy was especially primed for this reaction because that same week over 300 refugees drowned of the coast of Greece and it was barely covered in relation to the OceanGate sub.
Spitting straight facts
3 hours of Lud/QT podcast content on the same day is actually insane, I've never been more hyped to relax
Excuse me I believe you mean 3 hours of Maya/ Nick content
@@foiled61443 hrs of bobr peepopogwow content.
@@foiled6144 you're so right my mistake, time to go perform 24 goat kickflips as an apologetic act to repent for my heresy
If you liked Wine about It Wednesdays, you'll LOVE Beer about It Thursdays. (Weed about it with Aiden and Yingling when)
The girls dont do drugs
@@Bibblesupremacy1992 yes they do, they were drinking beer in this episode
Beer with it Thursday
@@Bibblesupremacy1992 No youre misunderstanding, it would be only Aiden and Yingling. No cooties allowed in Weed about It
@@Bibblesupremacy1992 Maya has talked about her illicit drug usage on Wine About It multiple times. I can't remember if QT has, but it wouldn't surprise me.
Yo, autistic here and that was hella agro way to flirt with someone. I have a hard time understanding people’s emotions, but stalking isn’t cool in any capacity. 😬
Also awesome episode as always!🍷
Also as an autistic person, I just can't even stalk, lol. It feels to me like a big roundabout to socialize which I'm not really into it, lmao.
obsessed with maya’s facial expressions as they listen to the bumble guy’s voice messages
She was incredibly composed. It felt like my soul was shriveling up into a raisin. >
one of the billionaires who died is one of the few people you can point to and say they're directly killing the planet singlehandedly. i can't bring myself to feel empathy when mother nature gives that person a painless, instant death most of us will never get despite never doing a fraction of the harm
Mf dying in a submarine might be top 3 worst ways to die with torture and beign burnt to death
@@ΚρανίΩ it should be noted that the death of the people on the submarine was instant.
@@ΚρανίΩ the sub colipase on itself less than second they didn't feel anything.
What about the rest?
@@Bob13454 The billionaires on board were not good people and should be given no sympathy. They would not give you any so why give them any? The researcher and the 19-year-old are obviously not included in that sentiment, but that doesn't give an excuse to everyone else. I can say fuck these people specifically and that's it.
im sorry but you can't ignore the fact that the ceo literally ignored all safety measures. He killed everyone. jokes aside, he deserves the responsibility
I don't think that's what QT was saying. It was more that the CEO didn't intend to kill people, and QT was empathising a person who's passion ended getting blood on his hands.
I don't think he was evil, just fucking stupid.
I think you missed a huge part in the submarine thing. The CEO/owner of this whole thing on purpose tried to skip over safety and said that the submarine has to much safety protocols.
Like this was avoidable if he just didn't hate the safety protocols
As a psychologist-in-training, we are trained specifically NOT to give advice. It's extremely common for clients to want our advice, however, but we are (generally) cautious not to direct you in one direction or another, especially regarding relationships, life advice, etc. Hope that explains why this is the first time she shared with you!
Me too (psychologist in training), you are 100% right.
How open they are about their struggles and therapy makes the pod so interenting to me, on top of the great stories, convos and chemestry of course
As a dude, the bumble guy is just scary lmao. The girls probably should've shut him down immediately instead of allowing him to explain why he cyberstalked his way into their dms, but it's 100 percent the dudes fault since he's done it before. He didn't reach out because he's a quirky boy and thought they'd be a good match. He reached out because he's a narcissist and WANTED her. He sounds like hes just a redditor that looked up how to pick up a girl. All that said, yeah the girl should've covered his name or whatever bc doxing is never okay unless it's a threatening thing. Internet houses too many psychos and the dude could be in actual danger
🤷♂️
@@AwkwardStreamsyou mean
_ _
\_(“/)_/
I feel like the is just a bit autistic and has no idea of what is an ok thing to do. The fact that he has done it before doesn't mean that it is his fault, becuause I seriously doubt that anyone would take the time to explain to him why it is wrong to do it. I will say that he is a bit narcissistic and has some redditor qualities, but doesn't really seem like a bad dude because to me he seemed genuine and also apologized many times for being a wierdo.
@TheKindDelinquent idk I've known plenty of toxic people that do bad things, apologize And admit they're doing bad things, then continue to do them. Most of the time they're apologizing to sound empathetic and keep you on their side when in reality they mean none of it
@@AwkwardStreams I'm not saying that he isn't toxic, I just don't think there is enough info about the guy to definitevly say that he is a bad person and just assume that from 2 encounters he had with people. And then people go after his job and bully him on the internet which is just too far in my opinion.
This podcast normalizing therapy so much is such a goshdarn positive thing that i absolutely love!
qt thinking about pitch perfect sometimes is so real
I work at a suicide hotline, I literally give psychology today to so many callers every day. Thank you for talking about it
The "Oh yeah, I'm absolutely a very humble person" and then proceeds to talk about themselves and their "attributes" reminds me a lot of the song "Humble" by Lonely Island. Great ep!
I love the openness you guys have for not only us as the audience but each other
Imagine dying because some guy wanted to cut a few corners to save money and avoid regulations
Tbf they probably got rich by some people being killed to but corners
More people have died because of this mindset than you would believe.
@@phantom21ize easily in the hundreds of millions if not more
Good job to Maya for explaining how to find a therapist. I did the whole process for my girlfriend, and for a psychiatrist. Yet I've been putting it off for myself forever because it feels like too much work. But this will spur me into action.
Maya’s advice on how to find a therapist gave me a lot of confidence. Your podcast and how open you speak about therapy and mental health has really helped normalize it for me and has encouraged me to find help for myself. I’m starting to get professional help after putting it off for years. Keep it real
Favorite emoji: 😳
LOVE y’all’s content!! I can’t believe it took me this long to be a Patreon member. You guys are amazing!❤😊
i love when you guys “secretly” reference something you’ve said on the podcast already
Loving watching these ladies continually advocating for and normalising therapy by just openly sharing their experiences 💜
Two parts to this, I'm Autistic and ADHD. 1. The billionaires I have 0 empathy for, billionaires are billionaires because they actively seek profit over people. Billionaires by nature do not have empathy for the common person and beyond that, use their wealth to separate themselves from society. 2. The dude who sent the crazy messages is absolutely autistic but also definitely has narcissistic tendencies (it can be hard to differentiate sometimes). I think what he did was gross and creepy, I don't think it warrants being put on large scale social blast that will effect his livelihood.
thank you maya so much for saying how to get a therapist, i had no idea ❤
The biggest tragedy of the sub situation is seeing the whole Western world care so much about 5 rich guys in a sub they got into voluntarily after signing risk waivers, while boats full of hundreds of desperate migrants sink in the Mediterranean sea and no one gives a damn. Or at least nowhere near as much of a damn.
I saw someone say it's just a great news story with a finite timeline, while the migrants on a boat situation is a far more tricky unending situation with mixed opinions and grey morality in our increasingly xenophobic societies, so it just makes a less captivating story.
Yeah it's the fact it was unique and movie esque it got so much media attention. Meanwhile the migrant crisis has been on going for years with huge numbers of similar events to the recent Greek ship, it's sadly old news. Not exact but you could compare it to how commonplace school shooting became in the news cycle, from months on one it's a new head line a week. The titan has nothing similar.
I mean, it's clear the hype of the story was the confusion, mystery, and time clock of the whole thing
Yay my favorite podcast has a new episode 🫶🏼
Liked the Pitch Perfect reference. immediately visualized the scene
Maya its called a bucket list because its a list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket lol
Holy shit I never put that together either
Maya knows that. The conflict is that the concept makes QT afraid that doing bucket list things means you're about to die.
I had a visceral reaction the pitch perfect bit at the beginning. Time to rewatch it 🎵
I occasionally find socials of people I'm already talking to and gearing up to go on a date with, to make sure they exist and I'm not being catfished, and that they don't seem like a murderer.
Maybe that's creepy of me, I'm just very paranoid.
I would never in a million years reach out to someone through a social they didn't give me though, nor go looking for it if we weren't already talking, that's a boundary I wouldn't cross but maybe I've already gone too far by trying to find them?
It was cool that QT shared so much info about the submarine
can confirm in the 90's that is how it went, we had the news and the newspaper and that was the story we knew. Independents were scarce and not generally believed (because of propaganda from news corps) and even trashy magazines were harder to dispute before the internet was common and celebs could talk for themselves freely. people are just more informed now.
Here from Spotify to say that this is your best audio quality ever, keep it up!
45:35 I keep a journal. I can see a pattern of a person making me feel bad over and over by flipping through and pages. I don’t think it’s toxic. Sometimes you don’t realize how bad someone is for you.
The thumbnail is perfect for this honestly😂
It's so great that you explained step by step how to get therapy!
Sculpin is the type of fish that's on the can. Most of the Ballast Point beers are named after fish or nautical stuff.
Even Keel
Ah, it's good to know someone is also an amazingly thoughtful gifter. I am *so* good at getting people gifts! I appreciate you QT!
already heard the vms so absolutely had to skip through them but loved this! kinda softly therapeutic for some triggers. also maya’s disgusted angery face is absolutely priceless. thanks for going into how to find a therapist quickly. feel like it always takes forever, and i didnt know psychtoday had that 🤷🏾♀️
Love this beer about it format, it seems like they're basically sober and on top of their game the whole time.
im glad you guys covered the sub incident cus i actually had no idea about it, except when my dentist briefly brought it up
me and qt are the same person the way she copes with humor and “brush it off” energy is me to the T, but then i’m also maya when i’m tryna talk about my experiences and then kinda never being listened to and feeling like it’s not as bad as what the other person is saying. a….happy.. medium of both 🤭… but then also qt by wanting to be there for someone but the only way u know how is to try and relate to them and crack jokes
Honestly, the voice message guy seems a lot like the guy from Creep. Just listening to it without a face (because I have only heard this from Wine About It and The Yard) I just imagine that guy's face. Also, QT with all the Slimeisms was great, alright man.
YOURE SO SPOT ON i literally thought about the scene in Creep when he sends the video tape and calls the guy to talk about it and set up their final meeting. shit was so creepy
@@lucaskohl8009 He just has a bunch of folders of voice messages he's sent to every girl, including screenshots of the messages. He has them all on his computer. Let's be real though, what he's doing is kinda serial killer behavior.
I had a 10 hour shift then about 3 hours sleep and now an 8 hour shift in a boring quiet retail job where I'm the only staff member in the shop. I've got tea ans a Redbull and nice wine about it to keep me going xD love the podcast ❤
QTs arms looking toned! Keep it up girl!
Around the time those five people went missing in the submarine hundreds of refugees died in a sinking boat near Greece, with a hundred-odd children in the hold. Jokes about the former were far less disturbing to me than silence about the latter.
I watch these in case coots has a cameo
32:49 I think a big part of the jokes were centered at the greed inspired negligence. At least the memes I saw were centered around stuff like using trash equipment and logitech controllers
having to leave a good therapist sucks. after years of trying therapy I finally found a therapist that I really clicked with. unfortunately since I am disabled and a dependant under my parents, my mother (who didn't like my therapist) without my say-so switched her. hopefully when i can get on disability payments i can go back to seeing her.
45:00 nah this helped me start the separation process from my last (extraordinarily abusive) ex. definitely helpful for the forgetful and those who catch themselves forgiving things they would never usually let slide. it also helped when an argument started and he’d try to gaslight me into thinking i said or did something i didn’t do/he never said or did something he did do. horrifying that i even had to do that (and more) but trauma bonds and hopeful attachment are very realll and surprisingly hard to escape
i thought i was bad for doing it at first, but it did help a ton when i was thinking i needed to apologize to him and do whatever. i think it’s only a problem because people make it a problem, and it’s better to do this than to stick out a bad decision and stay miserable while feeling like you don’t have a good enough excuse to leave. again, the person i’m talking about was EXTREMELY abusive in every kind of way and i STILL somehow felt like i shouldn’t leave him for various reasons. some my fault, many his. which is why writing it down immediately (instead of listening to the gaslighter) helped a TON. at some point we’ll grow into being decisive enough on our own to just leave, but it’s a decent mechanism for now lol. doesn’t make any of us weak, we’re just taught to love as much as we can and that’s just not the best course of action sometimes. and anybody who got down here, please be safe and take care of yourself 🤍
oversharing but meh. hopefully someone sees it and gets out of a bad situation a lil faster
Maya is the goat 🐐 for explaining how to find a therapist 😊
uhhh... that guy was definitely displaying a lot of red flags. backhanded compliments, the oversharing, boasting of himself, confident that he can read people, searching these people up, lack of boundaries. he has done this to multiple people so that shows he's so unaware of his behavior.... his disorder is not an excuse,
Also James Cameron said he heard the BOOM of the implosion with sonar and knew the sub imploded. 🤣😂💩👀😱
Maya drinking beer, QT: "oh, she is such a pick me girl"
QT drinking whisky: "I am not like the other girls"
Also Maya: basically a farmer for strange animals
Also QT: makes fancy and colorful cakes
But I have no idea how "the other girls" are, so maybe QT is right :D love them both!
Everyone ill say this, as someone who is autistic, we don't understand boundaries until we are taught them, trust me... I've done weird ass shit. He isn't a psycho... he just doesn't understand boundaries and now his life is ruined because millions have seen these messages. Yes, what he did was a creepy af, however countless guys send dick pics and harass women. Also plenty women send inappropriate messages if you're in shape (I've had many back when I was a PT) (not a flex at all).
I hope he's OK. Yes he was creepy but don't share his photo and name to millions and contact his damn care home where he probably helps elderly people have some happiness.
Sculpin is a fish, the California Scorpionfish is often mistaken as a Scuplin so that's why the beer is called Sculpin.
I mean I was pretty unempathetic and memey towards the sub thing because I saw their actions equal to the guy who tried to block a desert eagle bullet with a book for a youtube video. Basic research tells you that going down in that sub to the depth they were planning to go is practically assisted group suicide. The only person I feel empathy for is the persons son as they were somewhat guilted into doing it for fathers day and had even mentioned being afraid.
Perfect time to get off work and relax to a new episode
Me and QT definitely watched the same informational video on the Titan because I basically had this conversation with my friends yesterday LOL
Regarding the submarine jokes - you have to understand that it is not 'hur dur rich people so who cares' but that the rich guy had someone in charge of safety and when the safety guy was raising alarms about the quality of the submarine, the rich guy instead of addressing the issues fired the safety guy. Its a rich guy being rich and stupid thinking he can ignore physics because he has money and subs haven't had any major issues in decades I guess? And that's where the comedy comes from - the absurdity of this totally avoidable deaths but rich guy who definitely has the money to deal with the issues felt like cheapening out on safety and seaworthiness of the sub. Its an absurdist tragicomedy
even if the dude is autistic, i think his behavior isn't really defensible. even if he has trouble with social cues, he constantly references how he knows what he's doing is weird and crossing boundaries. and dating apps come with the social cues built in, if you match with someone you talk to them, if you don't you don't. i don't think he should be bullied on the basis of him being cringe or whatever though, that's not really the issue. if he matched with her and then was kinda weird and annoying that'd be different but instead he kinda stalked her
Wait we're expanding to beer now? Oh this podcast is GOING places
When you keep track of times that didn't fit well is called a receipt journal and it is crucial!! The only part is wrong is that we have to gain evidence to feel valid in our experience. Not the one journaling, but those that do the gaslighting. Good for work and relationships!!
hey Ballast Point! That's an LB classic, if you guys keep doing the beer thing, I recommend Victory at Sea. It's a dark, chocolate beer. Very good. Me and my buddies often grab a growler of that for parties.
my psychiatrist at the psych ward told me to live w my abusive parents after i tried to kms instead of going to a youth shelter and getting social housing. i did it because i was too broken to deal with a shelter that is min security prison in disguise, and after a month i ended up in the shelter anyway because my father told me i had to leave during the day every day until i got a job.
many people were joking about the submarine for the sheer stupidly and hubris of the project and its mission too
Qt defending the oceangate CEO is kinda wild
yea I guess it's just ignorance of the full breadth of this guy's delusion, as an engineer and learning about the construction of the sub it just boggles the mind that this dude made such a death trap and thought it was perfectly safe
yeah, they are completely out of touch with reality to be defending millionaires. That's a streamer version of class solidarity. I guess
she wasn't defending him at all. She was merely empathising with the intent of the sub mission: to show people some cool ass history. The CEO isn't evil, as far as I can tell; Just an idiot.
@@noahmay7708 obviously not evil, but definitely some thing, especially after he was told multiple times by his engineers, that this wasn’t safe and he would fire the engineers that would question him
QT and Maya always have the craziest stories 😂
I know they were joking about the 'Im not like other girls' thing, but they have such unique and traumatising origin stories that they could both be Main Characters in their own right. ❤
Great Pod as usual 🤷♀️
Cool to see QT open up about being a content creator in the patreon
Rejection is super complicated and so is dating. For some people, women not making a move means she isn't interested, for some people, they want you to make a move and if you don't they tell you how you could've had em and then leave lol
She didn't reveal his name until after it was came to light he had assaulted another person after a somewhat similar situation.
Slimes influence on QT is super apparent in this episode lmao
Best intro ever - I too just think about pitch perfect sometimes
i can not sit through the bumble thing, way too cringe but i will watch in full for the algo
grapefruit sculpin was good 8 years ago when I first started drinking, still one of my favorites today. Great choice!
A brewery in Muenster, Indiana, named 3 Floyd’s brews this amazing stout called Dark Lord Marshmallow Handjee in a variety of whiskey barrels with vanilla beans. The result is a thick beer with flavors of bourbon, chocolate, marshmallows, and vanillas, every year’s production just a little different, keeping fans coming back. WOW I wanna get 1 day though price is wack is $711!💩👀😱🤣😂
I am also an IPA-loving girly and every man I've dated hates them lmaooo they take one sip and go "OH you like that??? You like drinking shampoo out the bottle too, you freak?"
finally going to drink while I listen to the pod, v excited
Killer episode dudes
Thanks for the upload ladies 🍷❤
the bumble guy segment was hard to sit through, GREAT EPISODE THOUGH :DDDD
58:59 I come back here a lot because I know so many people who are like this
So, i have a some perspective on mister bumble dude. I'm a perennial first date fail 29 yrs old dude: and for a good reason I'm anxious depressed little person thing and up to this year i was extremely unkind to myself and my body. I'm better now, i worked on it and never resented any of the girls that rejected me, i always had a healthy respectful outlook on rejection ( even if my ego is damaged, which it does I'm flewd human like everyone else). This guy is not ok no matter how fucked up his chemicals are. I don't message girls out of tinder even if they have their socials on their bio, even if we did match, if I'm not specifically invited there I'm like a vampire at the doorstep. I find it extremely important to act well on boundaries because *i* Suffer from anxiety and avoid inflicting it to others, it's an easy concept to follow.
Also, the context of the updates on the dude show him to be so fucking trash, he lashes at rejections he hit on someone in professional circles that had to block him and hurt her professional standing due to his inconsiderate actions. He called girls sluts and said people were canceling him when rejected (before the viral tweet!)
I'm not sorry for this dude at all.
*Also point of order apologizing for maybe coming off as creepy is not enough or redeeming, avoid doing actions that might warrant that.
I don't know if bumble guy is actually neurodivergent or not but, that doesn't excuse his behavior. I'd be more inclined to believe he isn't on the spectrum and is just trying to excuse his creepy behavior so women will just pass it off as something benign.
I don't think the what learn of him here is enough to tell either way nor would it change sending the message being cringe\weird, being ND makes alot of social stuff harder, but at the start he recognised this is potentially crossing a boundary so was aware. I think the doxxing was too far either way to.
wait. the new thumbnail is legit :D