The Bougie Black Women | Bougie diaries

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
  • Hey everyone, I am starting off 2021 with a video essay/analysis of the bougie black woman archetype. This is an archetype I have been seeing for quite some time now and I simply love it ! I spoke mainly about the depiction of this archetype in films and television shows. This is an archetype which relates a lot to the growth of the black feminity movement here on RUclips. I thought it would be pretty cool to shed a light on this archetype considering it is one of my favorites. Tell me your thoughts on this archetype as well , because I would love to know how you feel about them. Hopefully, you enjoy this video!
    super sorry about the crackling mic sounds , it only last for the first minute, I am new to microphones I'll have it fixed by my next video essay
    Featured Media :
    Credit to Josy Kass for the outfit videos :
    Toni Childs : • Toni Child’s outfits i...
    Whitley Gilbert : • Whitley’s BEST OUTFITS...
    Diahann Carroll Interview [1984] First Day on Dynasty Set : • Diahann Carroll Interv...
    Jackie Brown Across 110th Street Bobby Womack : • Jackie Brown.Across 11...
    Media Mentionned :
    - Two Can Play that Game (2001)
    - Girlfriends (2000-2008)
    - Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990-1996)
    - Clueless (1995)
    - Saved by the bell (1989-1993)
    - Dear White People (the show : 2017-)
    - Dynasty (1981-1989)
    - Scandal (a.k.a the love of my life) : (2012-2018)
    - Chewing Gum (2015-2017)
    - Boomerang (1992)
    - Insecure (2016-)
    - Little Miss Jocelyn (2002)
    Music credit {thematic} :
    Intro Song : Music by La Hara - Unlawful - thmatc.co/?l=7...
    First Song : Music by frumhere - so, tell me about yourself. - thmatc.co/?l=6...
    Second Song : Music by Chinsaku - Blossom - thmatc.co/?l=B...
    Third Song : Music by Reggie San Miguel - Daydream - thmatc.co/?l=3...
    ★ ABOUT ME :
    →Name : Mojisola
    →Age : 18
    →I am Canadian
    →Ethnicity is Nigerian (Yoruba) & Grenadian
    →My favorite color is red
    →I have a love-hate relationship with Politics
    → FOLLOW MY SOCIAL MEDIA :
    • Email: mojisolaadamson@gmail.com
    • Instagram: @cocoadamz (the only social media I use )

Комментарии • 1 тыс.

  • @kilimanjaro5537
    @kilimanjaro5537 3 года назад +3520

    We need more bougie black women characters on tv.

  • @Zvwry
    @Zvwry 3 года назад +1811

    People call me boujie all the time. People don’t know the difference between being boujie, high maintenance and simply having standards. I’m not boujie at all lmao I’ve lived in the hood my whole life, went to public school, I wasn’t really in the tax bracket to be boujie. But because my parents had STANDARDS they kept the house nice, kept themselves looking clean, bought themselves nice things when they could and taught me to have standards for myself and I think because I let those standards be known people mistake that for being boujie

    • @ariahlea
      @ariahlea 3 года назад +39

      💜🗣🗣

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +213

      Yesss , honestly I completely understand you when it comes to standards . My parents definitely raised me that same way and were fortunate to give me everything that I needed . I went to a private school with a lot of white people but I never really fit in with them . However , when I got to college I made a lot of black friends (and still didn't fit in) but because of the way I carry myself and because I am kind of reserved a lot of people think I am stuck up when really I just don't like talking that much If I don't have nothing to say . It's just miscommunication and people just want to think whatever they want too so I let them .

    • @jazzynicole2106
      @jazzynicole2106 3 года назад +9

      Yesssssssss Same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @liastorm795
      @liastorm795 3 года назад +6

      @@AbrasiveYouth Honestly my life🤦🏽‍♀

    • @liastorm795
      @liastorm795 3 года назад +4

      @A Rare Sophisticate That is true, and it's true when they say sex sales😒

  • @Liveandletlive0101
    @Liveandletlive0101 3 года назад +3400

    It’s about time I fully embrace being Bougie 🤷🏽‍♀️ It’s actually okay to be bougie, with a good heart though 😉

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +266

      Yes I definitely agree ! As long as you’re humble .

    • @teewashington9618
      @teewashington9618 3 года назад +38

      Factsss sis

    • @teewashington9618
      @teewashington9618 3 года назад +56

      @balenxy oh well. Let us be in peace. We can finance our own selves. At least we won't be having fatherless children. Keeping our goods to ourselves.

    • @teewashington9618
      @teewashington9618 3 года назад +2

      @balenxy It’s possible luv. Who knows. I don’t think a lot of us care though.

    • @teewashington9618
      @teewashington9618 3 года назад

      @balenxy ❤

  • @alexandraosei7925
    @alexandraosei7925 3 года назад +1964

    I work hard for my money and I spend it how I want to...... as an intelligent young lady.

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +100

      Honestly yesss , life is too short !

    • @alexandraosei7925
      @alexandraosei7925 3 года назад +71

      Right!!!! Call us bougie but so long as we have our respect that’s all that matter.

    • @miloudivyne
      @miloudivyne 3 года назад +11

      As long as you're not spending it on men.

  • @ahoneysuckle
    @ahoneysuckle 3 года назад +1646

    a lot of people don't realize bougie black people really do exist; we all travel to same places, live in the same areas, go to same schools, join the same recreational clubs etc. it's like a national community where everyone knows everyone.

  • @Theotherrjas
    @Theotherrjas 3 года назад +1067

    I would say the OG aunt Viv was the best version of a educated black woman her and Clair huxable they let their education and self confidence lead them and had husbands in their lives that valued this and uplifted them that didn’t see them as intimidating but saw them as a partner to do life with I would say we need to see more educated black women on screen like we did in the 90s

    • @kanikagaral7637
      @kanikagaral7637 3 года назад +12

      I agree. Though I like aunt Viv more than Claire

    • @annkelly6349
      @annkelly6349 3 года назад +6

      Agreed!

    • @Ellerich3
      @Ellerich3 3 года назад +23

      Exactly...but I have to also add Whitley Gilbert and Olivia Pope as the epitome of This archetype of the Bougie Black Woman-

    • @yendaaaa
      @yendaaaa 3 года назад +2

      @SkateBoard_C_ definitely. I love her tooooo though, lmao

    • @ladydujour2347
      @ladydujour2347 Год назад +3

      Aunt Viv and Claire were never bourgeois though they were just educated classy black women

  • @downtownon7thavenue
    @downtownon7thavenue 3 года назад +329

    What I love most about the "bougie BW" character is that most of them are darker skin women. Us blessed and highly melanated tones always get called masculine but to see my skin tone, feminine, beautiful, smart and speaking her mind just warms my heart. I really enjoyed this video.

  • @karenmassey8354
    @karenmassey8354 3 года назад +873

    If I had a DOLLAR for EVERY TIME I’ve been called bougie I’d be lounging in my dream home sipping champagne right now!!! I think a big misconception about women like this is that we are white identified. I am a rather dark skinned, natural haired blk woman and love every bit of how I look and who I am, it’s just that I enjoy the finer things life has to offer.

    • @liastorm795
      @liastorm795 3 года назад +66

      And that's okay babe, live your best life👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
      And it's just so confusing how a lot of things are seen as things white women do only(anime, aesthetics hair & makeup, etc,,)and when a black woman goes to do it than she's pretending or she's trying to be like the white woman blah blah blah! Like why do people always try to discourage black girls from living their best lives😒

    • @MochaxMatcha
      @MochaxMatcha 3 года назад +4

      Saaame.

    • @kanikagaral7637
      @kanikagaral7637 3 года назад +14

      I rather be bougie then be poor. What's so great about being poor.

    • @Nancy22102
      @Nancy22102 3 года назад +2

      Absolutely

    • @cookie22100
      @cookie22100 3 года назад +17

      It's so crazy how these traits are somehow assigned exclusively to whiteness. It's completely nonsensical.

  • @mitsukislife
    @mitsukislife 3 года назад +405

    My cousin called me bougie in middle school, she wasn’t lying 😭😂 I hate that bougie black women in media are constantly being “humbled” by relationship troubles, as if no one else experiences trouble too. Girls, do not settle and never question your standards. Men are abundant, so even if it takes a while to find the right one I don’t mind 🤷🏾‍♀️

    • @anonnombre2339
      @anonnombre2339 3 года назад +6

      👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @AnaSpeirs
      @AnaSpeirs 3 года назад +23

      Art is imitating life. When a woman is bougie, elegant, successful she wants a man to match and it becomes more difficult to find. This is why we see too many successful black women with mediocre men, but thats a conversation for another day

    • @TutuOfAfrica
      @TutuOfAfrica 3 года назад +13

      The narrative has to change. There are ALOT of men who can step up to the plate for successful block women and they don’t have to be black men. A lot of beautiful successful black women have strong successful men as partners and that needs to be represented more on tv period.

    • @themostbeautifulisraw4561
      @themostbeautifulisraw4561 2 года назад +1

      🎉🎉🎉🎉

  • @hungoverpuppy3907
    @hungoverpuppy3907 3 года назад +1179

    I take being called Bougie as a compliment, because a 95% of the time the person calling me this is some loser who doesn't have anything going on in their life.

  • @PeaceOnPurpose7
    @PeaceOnPurpose7 3 года назад +2385

    Bougie black women with natural hair for the real win 🥰

  • @saraojut4697
    @saraojut4697 3 года назад +477

    I hope this archetype evolves and shows more black women in healthy relationships. Black women deserve love and having it reflected in the media!

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +14

      agree !

    • @DDominoGeronimo
      @DDominoGeronimo 3 года назад +7

      Periodddddddddd !

    • @thewritergrl
      @thewritergrl 3 года назад +14

      I think it's black people (women in particular) who need to be the writers for this. For example, the only quirky black girl characters that I'm aware of were written by BLACK WOMEN - Micaela Cole for Chewing gum and Issa Rae Awkward Black Girl

    • @KinkyCurlyVicki
      @KinkyCurlyVicki 3 года назад +6

      Agreed. I feel like the media is going out of the way to show everyone else except black women in committed relationships these days.

    • @TheLuvlfe
      @TheLuvlfe 3 года назад +1

      @@KinkyCurlyVicki Yes Indeed.. IT'S INTENTIONAL.. the divide and conquer is prevalent, unfortunately the BC is allowing it to happen...imo

  • @karinal75
    @karinal75 3 года назад +563

    Just an interesting life observation I’ve made. A lot of people build their confidence off the degradation of Black women, especially darker skinned Black women. There seems to be this pervasive mentality that suggest as long as I’m doing better than black women, I’m good. I’ve noticed it in my own life. People tend to automatically not like me or are intimidated by the way I carry myself and material items I have. Simply put, they are threatened by Black women that don’t fit racist stereotypes.

    • @liastorm795
      @liastorm795 3 года назад +55

      Great factual observation babe👏🏼👏🏼👌🏼

    • @saramatthews7159
      @saramatthews7159 3 года назад +112

      @t t THIS! I had some random white man tell me years ago that I was spoiled because I worked in a lavish office and told him I enjoy relaxing. Years later I realized that ppl truly don't like to see black women in a state of comfort.

    • @patty8644
      @patty8644 3 года назад +54

      @@saramatthews7159 The nerve! I'm the same way, I carry myself as if I deserve it all. And guess what? People treat me as if I do!😊

    • @thewritergrl
      @thewritergrl 3 года назад +2

      dang

    • @saramatthews7159
      @saramatthews7159 3 года назад +42

      @@patty8644 lol that's right! I believe in treating myself like a princess...ppl are just gonna have to get used to black women wanting the finer things in life and pampering themselves.

  • @ladiibug3318
    @ladiibug3318 3 года назад +231

    Black men called me “bougie” or “high class” damn near my whole adult life. Whole time I’m just high maintenance, and just like nice things 😂 if you’re broke just say that!

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +15

      😭😂😂

    • @noble604
      @noble604 3 года назад

      Really? I haven’t heard the term bougie widely used in 20yrs lol. I thought the narrative about women and money shifted to “gold digger” or “high maintenance” or something like that (and now the dreaded “high value” and now “hypergamous” for the youtube set) but I really haven’t heard of Black class issues spoken of the way they were in the 80s, 90s and back and tv made Black-class issues popular.. Even in the 2000s when the Obamas were in the WH, I didn’t hear a revamp of term “bougie.” It was more like “educated Blackpeople” etc and people were striving to be like Michelle and it wasn’t a bad thing. Just what I thought I guess.

    • @ladiibug3318
      @ladiibug3318 3 года назад +3

      @@noble604 I’m from the south. People from other regions use different terms right?

    • @Honest000w
      @Honest000w 3 месяца назад

      The hate we get for wanting better in life is unfair. I don’t clown people for underachieving.

  • @kilimanjaro5537
    @kilimanjaro5537 3 года назад +1001

    Black women only seem to have a hard time finding love when we’re trying to be with black men solely. Example: Molly; Molly was in her first actual relationship on insecure with a non black man. All the men before that were black and didn’t want to commit.

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +326

      It's really sad that bw have to date interracially to find commitment and love . Thanks for your input !

    • @kilimanjaro5537
      @kilimanjaro5537 3 года назад +88

      @@AbrasiveYouth it really is. I wish it wasn’t this way. Thank you for replying ☺️.

    • @cloudyheart5148
      @cloudyheart5148 3 года назад +162

      Black women should date whoever loves them but some black women do have preferences like some only want a white man and some only want a black man and both are fine as long as they treat you right and have the means to support you.

    • @Caramelboii91
      @Caramelboii91 3 года назад +21

      And she ended up ruining it by being herself lol

    • @aliyahharmon9045
      @aliyahharmon9045 3 года назад +179

      As someone who dates all races it’s truly about finding the right man. Good men come in all shades and I’m an advocate for trying them all

  • @chocolateangel8743
    @chocolateangel8743 3 года назад +86

    The reason they say the bougie black woman's standards are too high is because she has standards that the black man can't meet. This is why I'm glad that more black women are exploring their options -- and promoting it.

  • @TheDaneyeledee
    @TheDaneyeledee 3 года назад +134

    I hated being labelled “bougie” because I grew up in the hood. However, eventually I stopped caring and embraced the title. In watching this video, I realize I always identified with the bougie black woman in movies and television.

    • @bougiepeaches5497
      @bougiepeaches5497 3 года назад

      Me too, I was raised in the hood and I was labeled bougie too(by my mom, dad, and auntie), but I love the title.🤗💅🏼🛍🌈

  • @ali_paula9607
    @ali_paula9607 3 года назад +291

    We DO deserve to see the better parts of life

  • @SamriBliss
    @SamriBliss 3 года назад +553

    Olivia Pope is a great illustration of a bougie black woman

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +70

      She definitely is I love her so much ❤️✨

    • @deborahsingh2011
      @deborahsingh2011 3 года назад +24

      She's basically portrayed as a homewrecker and a side piece and that's bougie?

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +116

      @@deborahsingh2011 neither is mutually exclusive you can be a bougie home wrecker

    • @deborahsingh2011
      @deborahsingh2011 3 года назад +2

      @@AbrasiveYouth oh ok

    • @zahram2018
      @zahram2018 3 года назад +22

      @@hoochiemama2171 you don't have to call her stupid she literally went back and responded with an "ok" and argue back.

  • @cocaina4870
    @cocaina4870 3 года назад +391

    There needs to be a thread of black women that actually worked in luxury as well (luxury hotels, spas, high end gyms, designer stores, golf courses etc.) I know most of us work in corporate America but there’s a few of us who work in these establishments as well

    • @WorldofDaisyFlowers
      @WorldofDaisyFlowers 3 года назад +9

      Meeee.
      Let's connect my IG is @worldofdaisyflowers

    • @TheBlackychan09
      @TheBlackychan09 3 года назад +14

      I currently work in a luxury hotel in a downtown area as a hostess for the restaurants of the hotel

    • @velvetstorm4563
      @velvetstorm4563 3 года назад

      I'm interested in this

    • @liastorm795
      @liastorm795 3 года назад +1

      @@TheBlackychan09 Do you like it sis??

    • @xx7670
      @xx7670 3 года назад +11

      Black woman here 🙋🏾‍♀️ I worked in an extremely luxury hotel in downtown Seattle. I was the hotel manager. Loved every bit of it.

  • @dangerzzzone2925
    @dangerzzzone2925 3 года назад +45

    Lmao I love being a combo of the bougie and awkward black woman. I'm finally letting myself embrace who I am without fear of being labelled an Oreo

  • @isthatachicken
    @isthatachicken 3 года назад +491

    Without these archetypes being linked to black women, they would have such regular titles
    The quirky black girl would just be quirky
    Bougie black woman would just be a rich girl

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +147

      That’s true but because they’re such anomalies in black television they become titled.

    • @CherryBlossomBlyue
      @CherryBlossomBlyue 3 года назад +13

      I mean you can be boujie ans not rich

    • @superwhosims
      @superwhosims 3 года назад +7

      AGREED! Bougie black woman is seen as a negative, whereas bougie white woman is seen as a positive. But, they are literally the same thing! 😡 So does that mean Paris Hilton is a bougie queen too?!

  • @indi1omccoln565
    @indi1omccoln565 3 года назад +470

    Y’all missing a real bougie black queen
    Ms. Lynn Whitfield

    • @vbrad6226
      @vbrad6226 3 года назад +32

      Yes Ms. Brandi Webb in A Thin Line Between Love and Hate.

    • @tapped564
      @tapped564 3 года назад +21

      Oh yeah I love watching Ms Whitfield act. Truly a lady.

    • @DoubleComedyG
      @DoubleComedyG 3 года назад +12

      Yesss she is the og

    • @DDominoGeronimo
      @DDominoGeronimo 3 года назад +1

      Yessssssss !

    • @CrystalLovesChrist
      @CrystalLovesChrist 3 года назад +19

      She is the epitome of bougie block woman. I love it so much

  • @earthgirl7874
    @earthgirl7874 3 года назад +252

    You know you're bougie when a younger person tells you without question. Always been this way but who would of known I was bougie and quirky💃🌎

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +33

      Yes being bougie & quirky is the best of both worlds !

    • @michellemoore4585
      @michellemoore4585 3 года назад +2

      Yep! I thought the same thing.

    • @ririp5865
      @ririp5865 3 года назад +3

      Same. People call me "posh" and "weird" yet I don't see it as an issue, yet more as qualities that help propel me to my goal of luxury.

    • @earthgirl7874
      @earthgirl7874 2 года назад +2

      @@ririp5865 "Posh",what a beautiful compliment🙆👒🌷🍰☕

  • @adorablebelle
    @adorablebelle 3 года назад +233

    I've never seen Dynasty but that scene took me out and I need to watch more

    • @ladydiaspora807
      @ladydiaspora807 3 года назад +24

      My mom loved that show,girl queen was serving her OK

    • @adorablebelle
      @adorablebelle 3 года назад +9

      @@ladydiaspora807 I literally paused after the clip she showed just to take it all in.

    • @tapped564
      @tapped564 3 года назад +6

      I need to see that episode..

    • @gretchengeorge5302
      @gretchengeorge5302 3 года назад +5

      It’s on Amazon prime video 💁🏾‍♀️

    • @cecegiles4583
      @cecegiles4583 3 года назад +18

      You've definitely should watch dynasty just because of Diane Carroll absolutely gorgeous

  • @itslaurenalexander5176
    @itslaurenalexander5176 3 года назад +475

    I love me some Hilary Banks omg her outfits I would still wear today!!!!!!!

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +36

      Literally Same she always looked good !

    • @Missrere1984
      @Missrere1984 3 года назад +18

      IKR! Timeless fashions

    • @CherryBlossomBlyue
      @CherryBlossomBlyue 3 года назад +2

      Same

    • @queenbaudelaire3021
      @queenbaudelaire3021 3 года назад +4

      olivia young miss toni childssss she always gave me life

    • @stacyr4768
      @stacyr4768 3 года назад

      @@queenbaudelaire3021 the show was not the same after Toni left

  • @BLESSINGATTHEBAR
    @BLESSINGATTHEBAR 3 года назад +169

    This is the only black character I identify with lol

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +23

      Me too especially when it relates to their ambition and their academic achievement !

    • @LisaF777
      @LisaF777 3 года назад +1

      Me too 💕💕💕

    • @amyliataylor
      @amyliataylor 3 года назад

      Same 🥰

    • @sigmasiren7
      @sigmasiren7 3 года назад +8

      I was the awkward black girl when I was younger, now the bougie black woman now that I’m older.

    • @bonesbailey2601
      @bonesbailey2601 2 года назад +2

      @@AbrasiveYouth what about inner beauty? What about personality, good character. A mind that is beautiful as a garden 🪴. What about a smile that is as bright as the sun. A heart of Gold , a beautiful soul, charisma, wisdom, knowledge, intellect, strong, holy, Godly woman, virtuous, mature, integrity, compassionate, lovable, caring, weird/goofy thoughtful. Inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. Alessia cara - you are beautiful just the way you are you don’t have to chance who are you. The world needs to change it’s heart.
      We are not ugly society is ugly. ❤️‍🔥💯

  • @TheMelody15
    @TheMelody15 3 года назад +93

    I grew up on 2000's Black shows and as a child I always been drawn to Toni Childs from Girlfriends. I was sooooo fascinated with her!!! I know she has her flaws however I liked the way she carried herself with self-assurance

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +10

      Yes , I recently watched Girlfriends because it was just put on Netflix and I loooooooovee Toni . She definitely is not perfect but I just adore her and find her so interesting !

  • @ElleWhiteTV
    @ElleWhiteTV 3 года назад +30

    The Quirky Black Girl and the Bougie Black Girl are my favorites. Probably cause I identify with both.

  • @user-ff9kk2fe8x
    @user-ff9kk2fe8x 3 года назад +82

    *Blk women would not have to settle if they sought after more powerful men, regardless of race*

    • @tapped564
      @tapped564 3 года назад +10

      Exactly

    • @DDominoGeronimo
      @DDominoGeronimo 3 года назад +7

      Point taken.

    • @shermarketing1870
      @shermarketing1870 3 года назад +7

      Exactly proposed to 4 times before I got married in 2017 African, Indian, Mexican, White... case closed

  • @mj149
    @mj149 3 года назад +60

    Bougie, during my mother and grandmother’s time used to mean a well educated, mostly light skin or mixed Black woman. She dressed appropriately for every occasion, was a sorority sister, and got engaged during college and married directly after college. She was refined, elegant and always aware of uplifting her family and race. Clair Huxtable comes to mind as an example of a bougie woman 💕

    • @hoochiemama2171
      @hoochiemama2171 3 года назад +9

      Why light skin/mixed tho?

    • @mj149
      @mj149 3 года назад +10

      @@hoochiemama2171 ...l am being honest based on what l know through firsthand experience. The time frame (my grandmom was in college during the 1930s and my mom 1950s) and their school yearbooks testify to the way it was. Also, being a legacy (someone whose parent was there first) l attended their functions and this is what l saw well into the 1970s. Granted, ALL the sororities were letting in darker girls but they also seemed to drop all standards. Dropping those standards paved the way for all the hazing problems. No one hazed or were hazed before the 1970s that l am aware of. I should say also that socioeconomics plays a major role in sorority life. The dues increasing from hazing lawsuits meant sorority life was difficult for the poorer student and scholarship kids. No woman should have to get a job just to pay dues but l found out through my daughters that many do still do this. All to fit the image of the Bougie woman!

    • @hoochiemama2171
      @hoochiemama2171 3 года назад +10

      @@mj149 oh umm.... ok.... that was a lot lol

    • @mj149
      @mj149 3 года назад

      @@hoochiemama2171 ...lol

  • @TrulyMademoizelle
    @TrulyMademoizelle 3 года назад +40

    Im bougie but I'm not out of touch. I just like nice things and they don't have to be expensive

  • @eternitysafro1083
    @eternitysafro1083 3 года назад +22

    I AM the Bougie Black Woman! (Rags to Riches)😌✨💓 I am dark skin, 4C hair, & petite. I believe in Black Women In Luxury. I also care about social issues. You can have both. But, I won’t mammy or be “STRONG!” to do it.

  • @ScorpioBabe1
    @ScorpioBabe1 3 года назад +112

    Great analysis. I'm surprised you didn't include Aja Naomi King (How to get away with murder), i think she fits well in this archetype too.

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +21

      Yess Ik I haven’t seen the show in ages so I completely forgot her plus she was my introduction to this archetype !

    • @jaylaav1166
      @jaylaav1166 3 года назад +2

      I knowww right ?

    • @dijonay971
      @dijonay971 3 года назад +3

      Yessss, I love Aja! Such a beautiful woman too

  • @callieblossomASMR
    @callieblossomASMR 3 года назад +67

    Great video one correction: it is NOT hard for a black woman to find someone who truly loves her.

    • @gokusolos6896
      @gokusolos6896 3 года назад +1

      12:01 can you tell me what show that is

  • @frankyholguin8558
    @frankyholguin8558 3 года назад +35

    Being able to come up, becoming educated, speak well, carry oneself & self-sufficient is NEVER wrong. Regardless of race or culture!

  • @jupitired777
    @jupitired777 3 года назад +12

    I genuinely thought I could never be girly as a black woman. I'm so glad we're all realising we can be bougie

    • @ajh.4131
      @ajh.4131 3 года назад +3

      Of course you can be girly! Race has nothing to do with it. Sorry you had that mindset but I’m glad you’re now aware!

  • @cherellemarie2979
    @cherellemarie2979 3 года назад +30

    Claire Huxtable is definitely top of the list for me her intellect and class was top tier!

    • @YourMajesty143
      @YourMajesty143 3 года назад +1

      I think there's a difference between a woman of class, who is a part of upper class society and a woman who has an appreciation for finer things that are associated with the upper class.

  • @claressalucas8922
    @claressalucas8922 3 года назад +60

    Here I thought that bougie was a bad thing. Turns out I'm bougie and proud of it!! Now where's my Prada mask?

  • @appetite4chic878
    @appetite4chic878 3 года назад +28

    CoCo from Dear White People was such a necessary story line to understand her personality and why she embodied the “bougie” mentality

  • @cloudsurfer73
    @cloudsurfer73 3 года назад +120

    Really liked this video. I would love to see your take on the free-spirited black women characters on tv (quirky, bohemian, alternative, artsy etc)

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +34

      Ohh good idea I’ll work on that next ! I love the alternative aesthetic on black girls especially willow smith such a goddess 💗💗

    • @rhondagonzalez3524
      @rhondagonzalez3524 3 года назад +2

      Exactly..we are out here...

    • @rhondagonzalez3524
      @rhondagonzalez3524 3 года назад +14

      @@AbrasiveYouth no..we mean..Rachel true.....Lisa Bonet....etc

    • @tpgamble
      @tpgamble 3 года назад +5

      Like Lynn from girlfriends?

    • @cloudsurfer73
      @cloudsurfer73 3 года назад +5

      @@tpgamble exactly. Interesting that all the examples given are biracial (or ls) women which is something I noticed about this ‘archetype’. But yes I definitely mean - Zoe Kravitz, Lisa Bonet, Rachel True, Willow Smith, Cree Summers and characters like Lynn from Girlfriends.

  • @NinjaCakkey
    @NinjaCakkey 3 года назад +41

    I love the bougie Black woman. I am the bougie Black woman.🥂

  • @tapiwam9476
    @tapiwam9476 3 года назад +155

    Great video. All these women are certainly my faves, always found their characters to be so inspirational. Think you forgot Michaela Pratt from HTGAWM, sis was always on top of her game.

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +22

      I was so devastated when I realized I forgot Michaela I just haven’t seen HTGAWM in so long so she slipped my mind completely . I’ve always loved these women and I think I always will & thank you so much for your comment !

  • @moniquebarber1474
    @moniquebarber1474 3 года назад +36

    It's okay to be bougie. Women of all races are bougie.

  • @HaitianBlackGinger11
    @HaitianBlackGinger11 3 года назад +38

    My husband calls me bougie all the time. Yet, he’s the one that treats me like one. He thinks I should just take care of myself and just sip tea and relax. Luckily I have a career that I love, I can’t just sit home, shop, and do nothing. When cleaning our home, he says I should hire a maid. I’m like why? I’m fully capable of cleaning my own home. Like he doesn’t like seeing me doing too much.

    • @dumfriesspearhead7398
      @dumfriesspearhead7398 3 года назад +13

      Your husband sounds great. You're working, why not get help around the home? He doesn't want you to be stressed out.

    • @aprilthisisgunnagost8toyourazz
      @aprilthisisgunnagost8toyourazz 3 года назад +11

      Does he have a brother? Can a sista get a hook up??? Tired of bums

    • @Torihappyness
      @Torihappyness 3 года назад +4

      Girl you married a unicorn!
      Live the soft life for us!!!🤣

    • @cinnyfox01
      @cinnyfox01 3 года назад +1

      What do you do? I need this type of career lol

    • @emprisdurden
      @emprisdurden 3 года назад

      Where did you meet him? Lol

  • @lovelydae7455
    @lovelydae7455 3 года назад +80

    Tony had a lot of trauma from growing up poor

    • @marissawilson4644
      @marissawilson4644 3 года назад +22

      And with her mom being an alcoholic.

    • @suzycarmichael933
      @suzycarmichael933 3 года назад +11

      In Fresno. 😂

    • @noelle2654
      @noelle2654 3 года назад +4

      She was kinda mean though💀 she was always calling people fat and stuff. It always made me really self conscious, I would've preferred if she was kind. But yes I understand her trauma may or may not have player into that.

    • @Ianisatool
      @Ianisatool 3 года назад +4

      @@noelle2654 most blk bougie characters were mean. So she was no different. Lol

    • @noelle2654
      @noelle2654 3 года назад +6

      @@Ianisatool even still. Even if it's no different, idc if you're bougie, you still have to be a decent person.

  • @victirynom
    @victirynom 3 года назад +14

    As a mature woman, I find this conversation very interesting. I grew up with a very stylish mother who had a sense about herself and was often criticized and ostracized by other women. Let me just say I have become my mother. It is a pleasure to hear younger women speak of their lives, in such a way as they Embrace who they are. My advice to you is carry on be true to yourself. With love💯

  • @BruhWhy5
    @BruhWhy5 3 года назад +68

    Yes, I love and look up to all these Queens. I am inspired by their confidence, beauty, intelligence, femininity, & use of nasty/nice in communication. They're rarely malicious, rather honest and passionate. I feel this character breaks the WS stereotypes of BW. I'm not materialistic either but have standards and goals. 😍🥰😍🥰

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +4

      Nasty/nice is everything I love it !

  • @SuzieQ90
    @SuzieQ90 3 года назад +81

    Amen this was well done👏👏👏
    Say it loud "I'm bougie and I'm proud" 😄💃👠🛍️

  • @nuninuninu5095
    @nuninuninu5095 3 года назад +38

    I grew up watching Whitley Gilbert/Jasmine Guy. The absolute best!

  • @Gross126
    @Gross126 3 года назад +9

    Y’all’s generation gives me so much hope for young black girls.

  • @MooBerry2009
    @MooBerry2009 3 года назад +94

    I stayed being asked “you grew up around white people” me I sure did and had both parents what’s wrong with enunciating your words and not looking hood all the time. What’s wrong with being carefree yet caring about how you look. What’s wrong with wanting the finer things in life and having someone buy them for you ( not tricking).

    • @tgtgtgtgtgtgtg
      @tgtgtgtgtgtgtg 3 года назад +29

      I think one of my most interesting experiences was a black man at my job telling me that I sound like I grew up with both parents. I’d never heard it put that way and found it funny in the moment... although it literally tell what a sad state “our people” are in. He was one of only a handful who didn’t sound bitter/ jealous or condescending when expressing his observation and I did appreciate that.

    • @kben273
      @kben273 3 года назад +2

      You are so right, MooBerry2009! I’m so glad I’m not alone in this!

    • @YourMajesty143
      @YourMajesty143 3 года назад

      Your comment reminds me of this meme: ruclips.net/video/QH0NxZwApic/видео.html

    • @themostbeautifulisraw4561
      @themostbeautifulisraw4561 2 года назад +2

      I got that too but I grew up in the projects. All the ppl that asked me that are still in the same projects. 🤷🏾‍♀️💅🏾

  • @Sfcfan120
    @Sfcfan120 3 года назад +21

    I'm married to a bougie black woman and she's my soul mate

  • @beemocha
    @beemocha 3 года назад +23

    I was always labeled as “preppy” or “bougie” since high school & up to this day..and proud of it 😌💅🏽💅🏽

  • @karmenjane1257
    @karmenjane1257 3 года назад +172

    How did you forget to include Regine from Living Single? I really wanted to hear the psychological break down if her character.

    • @tapped564
      @tapped564 3 года назад +4

      Oh yesss!!

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +23

      I’ve never seen that show ! I’m thinking of making a Part.2 with more characters !

    • @karmenjane1257
      @karmenjane1257 3 года назад +35

      @@AbrasiveYouth you should binge watch it. There would be no “F.R.I.E.N.D.S.” without Living Single.

    • @MrsNicolas
      @MrsNicolas 3 года назад +8

      @@karmenjane1257 Friends is just a rip off of Living single.

    • @karmenjane1257
      @karmenjane1257 3 года назад +8

      @@MrsNicolas I know, what’s worse is that the producers used the money from Living Single to produce Friends. As a result, underpaying the actors for Living Single and giving them the smaller/older studio set to film on, “Kyle Barker” explains what happened, there’s a video on RUclips.

  • @carolinebryan6553
    @carolinebryan6553 3 месяца назад +3

    I find myself somewhere between awkward/ quirky black woman and bougie, advocate for myself bad ass. I feel like it's a nice balance that allows me to be myself.

  • @Abidjan-weekly
    @Abidjan-weekly 3 года назад +9

    This is my personality too. I love that they keep up with healthy lifestyle. You won’t catch them drinking, smoking or eating bad. Most are into keeping their body healthy with exercise and eating healthy. A good date for them is a nice restaurant, theater, museum, hanging out at the beach doing something chill.

  • @ninawestlake14
    @ninawestlake14 3 года назад +28

    I love all bougie and classy women/girls. I'm just born this way.
    Proud bougie black gal❤💋

  • @rachrach5
    @rachrach5 3 года назад +82

    Love this video! definitely agree with a lot of the points made and the immediate person who came to mind was Michaela Pratt from HTGAWM. Such an ambitious, hardworking individual but she really did get a poor portrayal in the end

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +10

      Omg I cannot believe I forgot Michaela she’s another bougie queen I just haven’t seen HTGAWM in such a long time so I completely forgot her ! I’ll def see how she turns out in the end & thank you 😊

  • @anais937
    @anais937 3 года назад +3

    I'm here for boujie black women....there's nothing wrong in having standards, wanting the best for yourself, and being educated!!

  • @k.alvarado6237
    @k.alvarado6237 3 года назад +34

    Being bougie and black ALWAYS involves being able to move seamlessly in white spaces and being palatable to white people.

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 3 года назад +2

      I knew I'd eventually find a comment to state what was in my mind. Thank you!

  • @lexieburnafteruroll
    @lexieburnafteruroll 3 года назад +22

    This was outstanding. This is how my late grandmother was …VERY much Tony from Girlfriends tbh right down to the white husband. I was always more of a Tomboy growing up but I try more and more each day to embody the bougie black woman. “ *I am her she is me* “
    I would be on the *rags to riches* end of the spectrum. I lived in a single parent, 5 baby daddy’s …but some how absentee father home w/ waaaay more than my fair share of physical & mental abuse.
    Not to mention there were extended times w/ no running water, uncollected trash for months on end, no lights, no gas, and a new house phone number every 6 mos or so.
    Therefore I promised myself I would never live that life by choice. I got my degree, I’m married to my sons father I religiously pay up on my bills just in case something happens and do my best to never settle for areas or interactions that I know are beneath me and goals I set for myself.
    I honestly can’t stand to see my ppl settle for less bc coming out of it I know it has so much to do with the choices you make. But that’s a rant for another day lol.
    I love that these Black Femininity videos are popping up bc I’m having so much fun taking bits and pieces to make it my own and keep me inspired to act like the lady I wanna be.

  • @prettylittlemaverick
    @prettylittlemaverick 3 года назад +5

    OMGGG! This video just helped me realize so much about my life growing up, being bougie, was always given an air of disgust in the black American community, but this is who I was/ am!!!! In this discovery, I can really see why some girls behaved toward me the way they did. 🤯
    I also have a deeper appreciation for my young single mother, still ensuring I had much better experiences, than our circumstances.
    Aside from missing Regine from Living Single, this was extremely on point. ♥️♥️♥️♥️

  • @LaurenJewel
    @LaurenJewel 3 года назад +27

    I work very hard so if I wanna buy a $400 wig I will and will continue to treat myself. I’m glad to have these role models. Wanting to buy yourself nice things while still having a big heart. It’s all about balance

  • @ColdDiva
    @ColdDiva 3 года назад +15

    Been named bougie most of my adult life and it usually wasn’t packaged in warm fuzzy feelings of a compliment. Never per say saw myself as bougie, more so a renaissance woman, I love art, foreign language, world travel, beauty, fashion, culture and broad spectrum of music. My taste, how I speak and carry myself have always been different, happy that I now choose to fully embrace this persona despite backlash.
    Some of my favorite bougie characters were Michaela Pratt of HTGAWM; Mary of Being Mary Jane and I always thought Hilary from Fresh Prince was adorable!

  • @MzKegz
    @MzKegz 3 года назад +136

    Hmmm LOL Toni is too crazy girl, her character is so far fetched to me. Do people like her really exist. Besides that, you always produce insightful videos keep them coming

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +45

      She really iss omg but Monica is crazier tho and there are probably people who act like Toni in real life I haven’t come across anyone like that tho . & thank you so much 💕

    • @aprylaevans
      @aprylaevans 3 года назад +10

      Yes my sister is a definite Toni.

    • @williamhunter8773
      @williamhunter8773 3 года назад +2

      There is a word for people like Toni. She's a narcissist.

  • @anikadiamond007
    @anikadiamond007 3 года назад +101

    This feels like an attack! 😂 I've been accused of being bougie since birth. Favorite character is Hilary!

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +8

      Definitely not an attack and same I love Hillary but my fav character is coco conners and Olivia pope for suree

  • @justrenee2640
    @justrenee2640 3 года назад +67

    ❤️ this for black women

  • @rachealwashington5662
    @rachealwashington5662 3 года назад +7

    Being bougie is not feminine. It’s classist, elitist, and materialistic. Femininity is based on kindness, compassion, and using the power of nurturing to transform things. Bougie and femininity are 2 completely different things. Men can be bougie. Bougie comes from the word bourgeoisie meaning middle to upper class so it has no association with femininity.

  • @bsbncandey
    @bsbncandey 3 года назад +13

    Oh my gosh! I'm bougie! I had no idea! But now that you broke it down! I'm definitely a Lisa Turtle , Cher, and Hilary Banks mix, but I dress and live like I'm in the 1950's. My family bougie especially my mother, Queen Bougie herself!

  • @Authenticleatrice
    @Authenticleatrice 3 года назад +10

    I’d like to think of myself as “Humble Bougie” 💁🏽‍♀️😌

  • @boby7923
    @boby7923 3 года назад +9

    i love how well rounded this was, naming the great things about this trope but also addressing the problem of classism and respectability politics this trope usually gets off on

  • @themostbeautifulisraw4561
    @themostbeautifulisraw4561 2 года назад +5

    Can I just say that I love that you used Diahann Carroll in this video? She is the epitome of class and grace.

  • @Rainjojo
    @Rainjojo 3 года назад +3

    My family calls me bougie for being gifted or buying things I’ve never had the chance to have as a child, when in actuality I’d rather have money and be grateful, than be at poverty with a bunch of problems to face again

  • @karsten2747
    @karsten2747 3 года назад +23

    I love this video! Thanks for highlighting this and showing black women embracing themselves fully, even if they seem “bougie”. Subscribing!

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +1

      Thank you so much and they definitely need to be highlighted more often ! Thank' s for subscribing .

  • @Serenitie3
    @Serenitie3 3 года назад +6

    As someone who some would consider bougie one thing I've noticed is men. Before I got married i dated both in and out of my race. With white men the dusty ones wouldn't dare approach me. But with black men they would approach me then try to humble me down to their level. Then I'd get the "oh you're too good huh?" To go to Applebee's for a 2 for 20....yes. absolutely I am lol

  • @ArabellaCharm
    @ArabellaCharm 3 года назад +10

    I've been called "uppity" and "bougie" my whole life. Since I do everything with hindsight in mind and know whom to stay away from while advancing, somehow "I think I'm better"..ok

    • @shanchan8247
      @shanchan8247 3 года назад +4

      Exactly! Bougie= 'black women who don't know their place'..... I was taught that my 'place' is wherever I decide to be. We don't need to apologize for being bougie! 💗

    • @khadi818
      @khadi818 3 года назад +1

      lolll people love to assume you’re arrogant and/or stuck up 🥴

  • @ANeal360
    @ANeal360 3 года назад +4

    I have always been labeled as "bougie" starting from a very young age. This video resonates with me a lot.

  • @tyraverified
    @tyraverified 3 года назад +19

    Your video was the first that I've watched on this specific trope and I feel SEEN LOL! As someone who attended a PWI (college), I've been inspired by many who fit into this archetype and unapologetically own it. It can also feel isolating being around those who are close-minded to the diverse life experiences we all had. This was a really great video, subscribed!

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад

      Yes! Thank you! I've always been inspired by these women due to their ambition and work ethic . They have always been the characters I am drawn too and I love them !

  • @shishim6813
    @shishim6813 3 года назад +6

    I hate what they did with Whitley’s character, she was my favorite. So sick of the struggle love storyline.

  • @kkelseym
    @kkelseym 3 года назад +12

    I LOVE the bougie black woman character but have you ever notice you only see the bougie black girl wear her natural hair when she's light-skin? Otherwise they wear wigs or weaves.

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +11

      That’s true I think that has a lot to do with respectability politics like I mentioned in the video !

  • @LaLaKnight
    @LaLaKnight 3 года назад +4

    I'm a bougie black woman and I approve this message.

  • @envy2069
    @envy2069 3 года назад +3

    The fact this is a lable infuriates me. I dislike when people call me bougie because I like to live comfortably. I don’t ever really see people call people of different races “bougie” as much as they call black women. It’s almost like it’s not even normal?

    • @__-bg7jo
      @__-bg7jo 3 года назад +3

      but the majority of people who call black women bougie are other black women... how can the cycle stop if not addressed from within?

    • @envy2069
      @envy2069 3 года назад +2

      @@__-bg7jo of course, you’re right it must be addressed within our own people first. We shouldn’t alienate or lable our own people like that as if it’s rare or almost impossible to live well and expect and appreciate nice things

  • @sirah1282
    @sirah1282 3 года назад +30

    Clerminah from BGC (Jelaminah and the Clermont Twins) were the bougie black girl trio. They stood up for each other and even sued BGC when they let the cast destroy their things. I would hate to go through what they did in the house but I admire their strength, especially Jela standing up for herself and the twins at the reunion despite the twins not being present.

    • @TheSuperNats
      @TheSuperNats 3 года назад

      Jela had the hands and she always looked put together

  • @SchoolRumble4ever22
    @SchoolRumble4ever22 3 года назад +13

    I LOVE this video but I feel like the one thing this is missing is the classist aspects of boogie culture and how there is an intrinsic superiority complex and hatred for poverty that is prevalent in bougie characters. And while it is true that they are often smart and confident their is very real points to be made that an extremely important part of them is that they desperately try to maintain as close proximity to whiteness and distance from traditional aspects of black culture and identity. Definitely subscribing.

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +4

      I mentioned that in the video ! & thank youu

  • @racquelrobinson3030
    @racquelrobinson3030 2 года назад +4

    As a black girl stepping into her feminity, this is everything to me. I now love having my nails done, wearing chiffon and poofs and frills, bows in the hair. Makeup. And I think black feminity is thought of as Cardi B with hyper sexualization. But it's not always the case. It's subtle and lovely. It's not being oreo. Feminity and demure behaviour isn't just for white women. Luxury and comfort should be things every woman can achieve. God forbids a black woman who has more to offer than some stereotypical fetishizing fantasy gets with someone successful and can finance her and gives her everything she wants. 🙄

  • @ataa69120
    @ataa69120 3 года назад +30

    i love the video but you forgot Olivia Pope and Viola DAVIS, they portrayed classy, upper-class boogie, black women too

    • @AbrasiveYouth
      @AbrasiveYouth  3 года назад +5

      Okayy so Olivia Pope I know she’s bougie but for some reason I just never pictured her fitting into this archetype and I think that’s because of her relationship with fitz and how she allowed it to control her . But she’s definitely bougie 100% !

  • @juliandove6544
    @juliandove6544 3 года назад +8

    The epitome of Aunt Wanda! Always styled. Was the top of her job. Lived nice, never wears second hand shoes. And was the perfect balance with Bernie.

  • @ajh.4131
    @ajh.4131 3 года назад +3

    That dialogue in Dynasty was everything!! 👏🏾👏🏾
    Also, don’t forget Michaela Pratt from How To Get Away With Murder!

  • @luxboho207
    @luxboho207 3 года назад +9

    I really enjoyed this! As the person who has been called bougie for as long as I remember, by friends and family, this was refreshing to watch! Also, just wanted to mention that ever since I saw Dominique Deveraux portrayed by the divine Ms. Carroll, I wanted to be her, and she reminds me to keep my standards high, and live my best life. :)

  • @neoloanderson6676
    @neoloanderson6676 3 года назад +4

    My little sister called me bougie the other day because I said I don't like processed cheese 😅, (the fact I have a choice is a blessing). I said yeah I like nice things, but I'm bougie without bougie money 😭.

  • @AtepaHathorMakalani
    @AtepaHathorMakalani 3 года назад +4

    My fave is the spiritual natural healer black woman trope. I think that is very powerful and feminine.

  • @CreolePearls_
    @CreolePearls_ 3 года назад +37

    I been called Sedity and Stuck up 😂 I don’t mind because it was the way I was raised and the environment I grew up in. All my friends growing up was also sedity and we all went to private schools. As I grew into adult hood I was around all walks of life and met ppl from different backgrounds from my own. But once ppl get to know me ppl find out I’m a very down to earth person 😌

  • @ayjanahfencher1603
    @ayjanahfencher1603 3 года назад +2

    I agree 100% I’ve been told I’m boujie and white washed because I talk proper and that I act like I’m too good for someone because of my standards but thats not the case it’s simply because I just act myself and I’m not going to settle for less

  • @noneofyours16
    @noneofyours16 3 года назад +5

    Tony Childes was the embodiment of the bougie black woman ❤❤❤💜💜💜

  • @teewashington9618
    @teewashington9618 3 года назад +30

    My favorite is TONY❤

  • @msgrownnhyphy
    @msgrownnhyphy 3 года назад +5

    With the exception of the mammy, I feel like these are basic character archetypes for women. They aren't necessarily negative as they exist as part of storytelling. They are negative when they become exclusive to Black women.

  • @guavacheesecake1055
    @guavacheesecake1055 3 года назад +2

    I don't know if you've seen the 90s show Living Single but it's on Hulu now. One of the main characters, Regine Hunter, is THE bougie Black woman. Specifically the one that grew up on poverty.

  • @mzeastcoastgirl390
    @mzeastcoastgirl390 3 года назад +8

    love love love this omgosh we need more Bougie Black Women characters all day everyday! love love love

  • @naomikissedme
    @naomikissedme 2 года назад +1

    So glad this video isn’t calling it problematic 😭😭