It sounds to me like "you need to soften" is an incredibly gentle way to say "based on our interaction right now, you come across as someone who doesnt want a husband because they want to find love, but because you want/think you are entitled to a relationship that you dont have to work for in any way" Yes there are a lot of red flags, but the thing that says the most to me is "i dont want a man whos a doormat". Instead of saying something like, "i know i tend to take the lead and make the decisions and i want someone who is comfortable with that and honest with me when they want me to step back" she puts all the blame for the relationship failing straight onto her partner and takes no ownership over her actions 😒 sure what she wants is reasonable, but the attitude she has about relationships tells me nothing is going to last very long until she starts reflecting on herself a little
The MatchMaker had every right to reject someone they might not have been able to match. Like there's a ton of MatchMakers out there. This whole fight is stupid tbh.
as a late 30s woman who is financially successful and career successful who has divorced a man in the past for wanting to take a back seat while i do all that.. i think she is completely justified in asking for what shes asking for. the terms she uses are odd, but i completely get what she wants. why is it always the woman asked to compromise? its never 'lets find a man on your level' and always 'well you need to accept lesser'. hard no.
its very difficult to find a man when you are where we are because such an overwhelming amount of men, whether they articulate these feelings or not, find your success to be a negative thing. they wonder what their contribution in the relationship is if theyre not in a more secure position in life than you. and they know they cannot use any of those things to control you or hold over you. this is also why so many date younger women. if the matchmaker knows her pool of men are these kinds of men, just say so and dont insult her. Just say you dont have the men for her.
I’m with her on all her points. Sadly, it seems men have become generally less than ideal partners - but I’m biased as I’ve only ever been attracted to women.
I don’t necessarily think that the match maker wants her to settle for less. If it is a matchmaker for the wealthy, then she probably comes across that demand quite often. I think it’s more that this woman talked about steamrolling a partner. That’s not great for men or women to be that way. It comes across as self-centered mostly. Imagine a man saying “I need a woman that I can’t just walk all over.” That’s not a healthy frame of mind because no matter another person’s personality, you shouldn’t steamroll them. It’s not the same as saying “I want a decisive partner. I want a partner who is more opinionated. I want a partner who is more independent”
Omg for real! My ex would not compromise with me on ANYTHING. It always was his way or the high way. Women are always expected to be the ones to sacrifice their wants/needs and it's fucking infuriating.
"Why is it that women have to be the ones to compromise." IM SO CONFUSED HERE, because women I know all pretty much make a lot less than their partners. The women I know ain't tryna date a man who makes much less. Imagine a man divorcing a wife because she was settling in the backseat position, financially. "What is love? BB don't hurt me! No more..." (ok lol jk about the song part)
I have a feeling the matchmaker said that the TYPE of man she wanted prefers women who are a certain way. You have to consider and wonder if you are the type of person that will be a match to what you want. If you aren’t, you either have to change what you want or you have to change a part of yourself that is holding you back from getting what you want. Life is about growing and changing based on feedback and consequences. If you try to change something and you can’t, that’s because it’s part of who are. But if you are able to successfully change something about yourself, it was never who you are if you can be yourself without it. If you love yourself and want yourself to succeed you will be willing to let go of negative aspects of yourself which are preventing you from reaching your goals instead of placing your identity in them and refusing to change them to your own detriment. They are not who you are if you can let them go. It’s hard to change yourself and maybe this is truly who she is and she should find someone who is a match to her. I don’t understand what is so wrong with “betas”
The matchmaker never said “she is unworthy of love” she just couldn’t work with her. She exaggerated & she seems like a difficult person. I wouldn’t want to work with her either.
Yeah I kinda think I have to agree. Being open to something is a good thing In my mind, but if I've already done those things, and didn't like them, I wouldn't want to try it again and I'd voice that. I'm also trying to fight people pleasing because I get a lot of advice for helping my mental issues, and I really want to be better. But I am sick of people telling me what to do without hearing me out. I'ma remember that ❤
Telling someone they have to change in order for them to be able to find a match does sound a little bit like wrong imo 🤷🏻♀️ tell her you don't think you're the right person to find her a match, don't tell people they need to change their personality if they want to find love
She strikes me as the kind of person that is completely unwavering and uncompromising. She wants all the reward without putting in any of the time and effort in order to get it. There's nothing wrong with wanting what you want and having standards, but you have to also be realistic in that if you are going to be so uncompromising that you're going to have a hard time finding what you want. To be honest, I really don't care. She has no impact on my life whatsoever but I agree that I wouldn't get along with her at all.
10 years of therapy 😅 therapy is great but… generally you go to therapy to learn coping skills and “graduate” Unfortunately most men who are really rich and driven - they’re looking for young and ready to be wives and moms usually - I don’t feel like she said she didn’t deserve love but that she couldn’t help her. Which is fair. Would you want a matchmaker picking men for you that doesn’t get along with you?
My theory is the matchmaker prefers to work with more placid people who would be easier to match. Someone like the tiktoker would be very critical and she sounds like a perfectionist. Plus looking specifically for "woo" people, sounds like the matchmaker wants people who believe in the "magic" of her process enough to convince themselves its a good match. Smells like a scam tbh
She seems like a driven, motivated woman who knows what she wants and is trying to get it. Good on her. I hope she finds what she wants. Everyone deserves to find love. Imagine the power couple of 2 individuals like this.
EXACTLY! Normally, I agree with Guilia on every topic/side she takes but this one was a big miss for me. I’m 36 & thankfully happily married because finding someone that I would mesh with long-term would be impossible if I hadn’t met my wife. I see 0 wrong with her stance.
I just think about all of the people who I know who have had necessary surgery and almost died from blood clots in their lungs because of the surgery. People be taking their lives in their hands over the vanity and that’s crazy. My aunt almost died from having a bunch of surgery and getting those blood clots in her lungs. She’s lucky she survived.
Very respectfully: I think the matchmaker has the wisdom and experience to know what works and what doesn't. The language the matchmaker used could have been softer/kinder, but I think there's something to be said for a "Type A" person needing to work on compassion/empathy towards a spouse. There needs to be compromise, there needs to be a middle. As a 'Type A' person that found their spouse later in life, SO many expectations need to be leveled to find happiness. Most importantly, reframe what you're doing: **it's not what you're losing, it's what you're gaining.** My husband is amazing and I cannot imagine my life without him. Had I stuck to my hard and fast rules instead of being open and ready to receive something different than I anticipated, I wouldn't have him today. TLDR: even though what the matchmaker said was harsh, I hope this person reflects on opening up and compassion to find love, because she's right, she deserves it!
Pretty much. I’m reading in between the lines and the matchmaker was pretty much saying “maybe you should be open to dating men you wouldn’t typically go for” because I mean… clearly the type of men she usually goes for arent working out for her.
It just sounded like that matchmaker wasnt right for her and she took a lot of it personally. Hence the "woo" comment. If I've got a matchmaker asking about woo stuff, so I'm thinking astrology I'm going to stop her right there and say we aren't a good match. Though a $350 fine just to get this feedback is steep. There should probably be some about page saying what she believes as a matchmaker and what types of people she caters to. Also, absolutely wouldn't get along with her. A lot of times people use identifiers to excuse bad behavior. Type A can mean they come off as hard or the example you mentioned "honest" just gives them an excuse to be a complete dick and shrug their shoulders and just say theyre being honest.
Highly successful driven people go for soft, homely loving significant other to give balance and meaning to their lives. Describing them as "door mat" rubs me the wrong way.
idk both me and my bf are very driven for personal success (though not carrier cause we dont do well in corporate or non self directed environment) but it works cause we generally have a very similar lifestyle and want the same thing nearly all the time. kinda feels like hes nearly a extension of my own mind sometimes but even when we want different things i couldn't imagine denying him that ill help em cause seeing him happy makes me happy. and yes door mat is insulting and in my opinion very immature of her.
Personally I don't think there was really anything wrong with what she said. Using the term beta is weird but I think she's valid for wanting the things she wants.
Demanding a income level of at or above hers seemed kinda scummy. doubly so if she allredey makes a lot (cause just on the raw maths that would exclude more people) since when was love about cash? since when was your value to the corporations and your boss reflect what you can give to a lover? its the most unromantic thing ive ever seen! yea i had way more assets then my bf. i still have slightly more but not by much, and i would gladly give it all for just one more day together because hes the most valuable thing ill ever have. gladly give my last crumb if we where starving. if you can only be with someone if you like there wallet how can you ever bond on a deep level?
@@kybercat7 how is it scummy to expect someone to make at least as much money as you do? Just because you would gladly date a bum and give him everything you have doesn't mean everyone else feels they way. Maybe raise your standards a bit.
@@mi-no3wk because money has nothing to do with love. its just debt to the banks. he works hard often doin overtime. just wasn't able to save as much as me and invest cause his life waws rough. more importantly according to my standards he IS the richest catch ever. hes my best friend. someone who likes all the things in life i do. to chill hiking together or hold me at night and make my night terrors vanish. No amount of cash we could ever make could ever buy what we really give to each other. To expect that out of a relationship is to say you dont really value haveing them as a person as much as the matreal things they can give you.. im not a materialistic person. instead i have someone who make the whole universe shine and gives life meaning. just because you would gladly date a banker and give him everything you have doesn't mean everyone else feels they way. Maybe raise your standards a bit.
I do think it's valid for her to want someone who's "on her level". Maybe she doesn't want someone who is going to have to rely on her financially, maybe she has experienced relationships in which it at some point did become an issue that she was making substantially more money than her partner ( a lot of men tend to get insecure about that) maybe she just wants a partner that can keep up with her lifestyle.
it seems to me like the matchmaker was honest that she cant provide the service she wants bc she doesnt match her clientele. she comes across as condescending and patronizing, which I'm sure the matchmaker saw and decided wasn't worth her time due to the mental load that would put on her.
I think it's natural to grow more self aware and assured as to what you demand from life and a partnership as you get older. I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I was widowed almost 5 years ago at 36, and as much as I loved my husband, my approach to future relationships will be completely different. Some of that is the independence I've aquired raising our son alone, and I just can't give that up. In fact, I would need a man who's incredibly independent too. I haven't even attempted to dive back into the dating pool, honestly! My sister in law has tried to set me up with 2 different guys who live out of state but... I'm just not feeling it yet. I'm sure I'll get there eventually - I guess. Sorry for babbling! I'll shut up now 😊
she is clearly very insecure with all of the cosmetic surgery she is getting done. the matchmaker is right, she is not ready and needs to work on herself mentally. just because you have a therapist doesnt mean the therapy is actually helpful, there are unfortunately "yes men" therapists.
Matchmaking seems sketchy in general to me, I definitely feel like that's a lot of money to be told that you are not applicable though. I'd be frustrated and take it personally too probably at that point. As far as her body goes, I think that's her business and I respect that she's so open about it because I a lot of people do keep that type of thing secret and set unrealistic standards and I wouldn't have known about the potential scarring at all if she hadn't discussed it. Overall I think she might not be perfect but she's very human and it's just not that important to me to feel like I need to say much on it aside from people should leave her alone.
I think this lady's problem is she can't stop the plastic surgery. I almost fainted when she said she was just now turning 38. Wow. I have 5 years on her and this woman could just about pass as my mom.
For me, I think the matchmaker just got defensive that this client didn't want the kind of 'doormat/softer' man that the matchmaker herself married. Being the 'Type A' married to a much more relaxed 'Waymond' type, I can't imagine wanting to be with someone very much like me. For me. But I can understand someone driven and ambitious expecting a partner who can keep up with her and perhaps she was just being a bit heavy handed trying to ward off the hobosexuals and the leech boys.
The reason people say to lower your standards or work on yourself, is to open up that dating pool a little. And people do change through time. Sometimes being around a person, can change you positively and make you find out even more about yourself. It's good to have standards. But also good to take a chance sometimes.
I would never go to a match maker because she couldn’t help me either 😂 Also if she told me to find a man or woman I need to be soft I’d be up and outta there wtf 😂
@@shannonosullivan1375 I won’t ever start another relationship with just a relationship. People now gotta work for me a little. My ex husband cheated on me with a 19 year old and has now abandoned me and our kids. I can’t just be soft out the gate anymore
i mean, alot of dominant man like submissive woman, and alot of more submissive man like dominant woman. its a clichee but does apply often, tho not always. i dont think its about being soft - soft could be so many things. lol
The whole "you're asking for too much" type of mentality always bothered me Sure some people out there have ridiculous demands but hers aren't particularly outrageous and so to me this sounds like they're saying "being in a relationship asap should be more important to you that you being fulfilled in that relationship" Also if you feel like you lowered your standards/settled for someone then to me that sounds like you don't respect your partner and so you shouldn't be in that relationship in any case Granted what we seek is not always what we should look for but clearly this is not the point those kind of comment are trying to make
I doubt the matchmaker told her that she was unworthy of love. She probably told her that she needs to meet the men halfway and work on some parts of herself if she wants the type of men she desires. It's not a surprising concept even if it does feel like it goes against our idea of "Be Yourself." We still have to work on our personal issues, and try to be appealing enough to attract a partner and we have no problem expecting others to do it for us. Relationships are about compromise.
Imo it’s harder for two type As to blend vs A/B bc As will more likely want things their way rather than being the person needing to constantly accommodate - which type Bs do naturally. Just my little armchair therapist theory. I think the matchmaker sorta has a point tho. It’s one thing to know what you want, but what do the men you’re going for want? If she wants an “alpha” man, do those kind of men like a self-described difficult woman? Or a woman who’s type B a chills him out?
I understand the sentiment about her personality and how she comes off, but I think from a more objective standpoint the matchmaker was definitely out of line and unprofessional in her approach. She made it sound like this woman had to change her personality in order to fit her possible matches, rather than the matchmaker doing her job to find the best suitor FOR HER. I really don’t think her standards are that high either - whether they’ll all be met immediately is another matter - but she didn’t get so specific that I think it would remove a lot of possible matches. (I agree that what she is searching for may not be the actual perfect fit though, since balance is important in a relationship, but she’s also grown enough to probably know best what she is searching for.) I also think the surgery bashing is completely uncalled for, especially since she didn’t even mention any expectations or desires for what she wants a partner to look like. So for people to tell her she isn’t good enough or that the fact that she had a lot of surgery should somehow disqualify her from finding a good partner or something?? It’s ridiculous, not to mention incredibly rude. She was just sharing info about her experience. I know people will say if you post it, people are allowed to comment, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy (or warranted) to hear a bunch of strangers tell you you’re a bad person or something because you got elective surgery.
Matchmakers from what I know basically owe you nothing. Your paying to meet with them it's in the fine print. Most of them not all can be very old-school thinking. This woman wasted her money and she's upset. I don't even think a official license is a thing for them they just take a online course and get a print out.
SWEATER GET WHERE DID YOU THAT I NEED FUGLY THING 😱 *AHEM* … sorry about that. What I meant to say is: pardon me, would you be so kind as to direct me to the store or website where you bought that phenomenal article of intentionally hideous winter wear? I feel an overwhelming desire to add it to my wardrobe.
I agree, it's too easy to tear people down online over one criticism. How about we practice taking people for who they are with discernment and reflection, including who we are and what we want. RTG does this well. I've been the flipside of this woman, and it didn't get me a man I'd marry. If people are rejecting others based on the use of words like beta, I'm already out of that game. Better to encourage people that they are lovable regardless of stereotypes. Again, well said by RTG.
Firstly, I don’t think she wants kids & is very career driven. You don’t put in all that work to make you feel comfortable with your body to then have it wrecked by pregnancy - my sister is STILL suffering debilitating post-birth complications despite having a perfectly normal pregnancy. Secondly, I didn’t find anything wrong with what she said as it comes off as she wants someone with similar goals & attitude. My wife & I are very alike in our marriage - and have rarely had any conflict whatsoever, certainly to the point where it’s become a deal breaker between us. We both were open with our wants, hard “no’s”, and our pasts from early on. Ex: Neither of us wanted kids in any capacity & have refused to even sign legal godparent type contracts for family. We don’t hate kids, but would not be good parents due to health & financial reasons. Also to expand on your comment, Opposites have never been attractive to me & we are both alike personality wise. The matchmaker probably didn’t mesh well with her, nor do I think this woman was wanting a marriage, partner, etc immediately - just someone she could see that path with. I don’t know who this TikTok person is, but she seems very straightforward & knows what she wants in life - so good for her!
3:45 yeah but id much rather tell them these things at first to be upfront about both my expectations and what they should expect from me during the relationship, ive countless times been rejected because I don't want sex until marriage and if I didn't tell them upfront about it id have been pressured and dumped when i continued to say no
The match maker is like ahuman version of the same algorhytm that mat hes you up with people on any dating apps. Id trust a person over a computer when it comes to romance.
Honestly the matchmaker was out of pocket *and* unprofessional for telling her to change herself instead of conveying that majority of her clientele on the opposite side would not, indeed, match with her personality type, which is completely valid because certain businesses and services cater to specific people, but if that was the issue, the matchmaker did a terrible job of communicating it, and we can't really blame this woman for the way she reacted, especially after she had already paid for the "consultation" fee just to find out the matchmaker wanted to shove her into a mold she didn't fit in nor asked for. Her standards weren't anything crazy or out of the ordinary either, if a man had said he's looking for that in a woman I KNOW no one would have a problem with it, but as always, women are held at a higher standard and bashed for expressing their completely reasonable wants 🤷🏻♀️
I would totally agree IF we knew for sure that those are things the matchmaker actually said. It could have easily been her interpretation was completely different than what they actually meant Honestly, I'm skeptical that the matchmaker wouldn't be able to help her find the type of person she's looking for, but I have to agree with them that she doesn't seem ready for a relationship, regardless of how she feels about it
I have a friend who is a Jewish Matchmaker in Brooklyn. She told me that constructive criticism is common for both men and women. The idea is that it's not that you're not "worthy of love", but that you may not have the needed tools to be in a monogamous, lifelong relationship that will succeed. If she were polyamorous, not looking for a life-long partner, or was looking for something else, she would need/not need a different set of tools as there are different benefits and challenges to those relationships. As she is looking for a long term monogamous relationship with a man, there may be tools she need to work on a foundation to a relationship that she doesn't already have. "Worthiness" has nothing to do with it. If this woman didn't need to work on herself at all and already had all the answers, she would have achieved her goal. As it stands, constructive criticism isn't a personal attack on her, but rather giving her an idea of what she needs to have success with the goal she has in mind. Never compromise your values, morals, and self respect, but if you want long term monogamy, being flexible on appearance, income, and status is probably a good idea if you want something more substantive. From what it sounds like, the matchmaker telling her that the men she has want a "softer" woman may have been a polite euphemism for: "my clients find you abrasive; take it down a notch".
Thousands of dollars for a matchmaker dating apps are free and even the ones that charge are not that expensive 😂 and you won’t have someone judging you for what you like or tell you to change yourself
Not everyone is suited to being in a relationship. If you've reached a certain point in your life where you don't really need anyone but kind of want them, then find ways to be social other than just dating.
The match maker was trying to say I cant match you right now because no one is looking for someone like you. If she is perfect and worthy and doesnt need to change why is she single at 38?
I think the biggest issue is telling women they need to be 'soft, feminine and submissive' in order to date men. It is unhealthy and rooted in patriarchy, not every man is intimidated by a dominant women and not every women is submissive, quiet and does what she's told. That is my issue with this because if you read the comments it is a lot of men saying dominant women are unattractive and that they only find submissive, slave types attractive which is saying a lot about the way men still view themselves as 'above' women.
I can’t help but think, while she’s explaining why it’s more cost-effective to get her surgery done in Philadelphia then to go back to the Dominican Republic, is it really just the cost-effectiveness? Do you not want to go back there because they clearly botched part of your surgery? To each their own and all that, but you will not see me going under the knife, voluntarily, in a foreign country. The logistics of what you would need to do to get back home if something went terribly wrong is just too upsetting and anxiety inducing for me. Aside from the fact that how do you hold them accountable once you’re back home if something went wrong?
👏 Truth! The car ride home from the dentist after a root canal feels long enough. Pain + travel is horrible, why combine them on purpose? Can’t imagine taking ✈️ a flight after major surgery. You make such good points about physician accountability, after care, etc 😖 So many dangers and complications are possible.
First time I saw this video, I totally agree with the woman in the TikTok. I think its a form of projection being unworthy of love, but i think its a fair one. I think that the matchmaker could have worded this better and with the way she phrased her sentence i think its inevitable for a person to not arrive at that message.
just imagine if she got mad the matchmaker couldn't find her someone.... because she spent so much money on her..... I think the matchmaker was trying to protect herself
Like you said I think it's mainly her attitude that pissed people off, because I find her comments valid but I can totally see how she comes off unsympathetic. The way she words things I don't think I'd personally mesh with her but hearing how the conversation went with the matchmaker I'd hate being around them too, like 'do you meditate? Journal?' I can totally see them clashing, they seem like the type that's pushy in their own way about what a woman should be or do, and they did seem unprepared for this paid meeting with their client. I'd understand saying what they've seen men 'go for' in their business but deciding a person isn't ready according to their own standards doesn't sit well with me. Then again I do think they weren't a good fit personality wise anyway which I'd find important if I'm going through someone else to pick matches for me.
I think that the monetary aspects of that TikTok personally rubbed me the wrong way. I never knew that there were in person matchmakers that you pay for, so her saying that she spent thousands of dollars on something I never heard of was jarring. I guess it just makes it harder to empathize her when there’s nothing to relate to. I don’t think she deserved any hate for that though, she’s probably just out if touch with the general population. Also the comment about betas didn’t do her any favors, since the only people who I’ve heard genuinely use those terms are all bigoted freaks. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt on that one though
I'm wilded out that matchmaker is still a careerpath (not talk down on this)? I only know this in the terms of the back in the ye ole' days when technology of the electronic variety wasn't even a thought.
I think this lady made a way bigger deal about this than she needed to. Just go to a different match maker. Also she claimed she spent thousands of dollars on this matchmaker but then said she spent $350. So I'm a little skeptical of this woman's honesty.
@10:30 honestly i think maybe the matchmaker only has a clientele of men that are seeking a "softer" woman. doubt matchmaker meant she wasnt worthy of love smdh. Im 40 and not even worried about relationships. @12:3 WOWWWWWW LMFAO that's very telling.... WAIT @12:52 what who TF gets that much plastics done and HAVENT HAD KIDS?!?!!?!!?!? MAAM WOW no ive had kids and accept myself more so than this woman. no wonder the matchmaker wasnt just coddling her......
She's fine asking for what she wants. She has put in the effort for that with her career, physical presentation, mental health, and interviewing matchmakers. She shows her soft side when she's talking about going out to have fun, a lovely demeanor shift imo. She also has a right to her feelings and experience. My question is, do people want to be judged as much as they judged her? From one video, or even two? That's shallow, superficial, unattainable, and literally makes her more authentic than her detractors.
"i dont meditate or journal or any "woo" " Journaling and meditating is "woo?" Wtf? I think the matchmaker was questioning whether she was mindful or self reflective?? Of course she didn't pick that up! I do actually wonder how insane of a meltdown she might have if her status symbols disappeared overnight through some tragedy or another. I think the matchmaker was trying to see if she had any moments of self reflection outside of focusing on the next goal of the rat race / consumer culture. With some deep introspection I was able to see that what i deeply, truly want is more easily fulfilled than when I was looking outwards all the time. Like, what is satisfaction? Building forever? To Giulia's point about opposites attracting, there are many high power go getters that want a contast in the home relationship. Its similar to how people make fun of soft guys, whereas she is a hard gal. For example, a guy can be as soft as he wants, and that is A-OK, but he is not entitled to a soft girl when he is out here living his best soft life. It's just so often that opposites attract. Similarly, a body builder women isnt entitled to a body builder man who may be into soft girls. If a very wealthy go-getter guy was complaining about not finding a woman of his wealth and initiative (because he doesnt always want to be the one in charge) he might also be asked if he does introspective exercises. There are definitely women who take charge, but they might not be of the same income bracket. They might be able to bond on deep values though, with some introspection. Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk, and I continue. This tiktok individual is unhinged IMO, and needs a reality check. Of course she feels she got ripped off. She is too hard (as in dense and stubborn) with huge walls up to the general ways of the world. She didnt get any value from the consultation because she didn't listen to the feedback she was given, instead twisting the meaning and using that perverted misconstruction as fuel to claim this matchmaker's career should be destroyed. Oh heck no. If the gender roles were reversed, we would have a chaotic, poor softboi trying to get a matchmaker fired because the matchmaker told him, "hey, other chaotic, soft, poor woman typically want a man who is a little bit harder and more disciplined, and maybe you should try to lean into that a little if you want more success. I really don't know what to tell you." That's not controversial. It's telling someone why not even a matchmaker is down to take more of their money. Gender is performative, and we can lean into to that stuff, especially if we are desperate and not even a matchmaker feels right taking any more of our money. Her rage reminds me of soft guys raised on "there are no differences betwen men and women at all" going through the stages of grief, realizing that the women they are into might be attracted to a hint of classic masculinity. This lady wants to get the matchmaker's career dumped because the matchmaker acknowledged some hard generalizations? This lady is in denial that she has been paying for 10 years of a yes-ma'am therapist that's 'just' been telling her what she wants to hear. Not all therapy is made equal; thats what I tell people. I think some Navajo elder was recently in a video where he talk's about the dangers of "pretty lies." I get the feeling this lady has been living in a golden prison of "pretty lies." "What's in the dark, must, come to the light, right?"--C.J. Walz(?), Golden Legacy
💫 I feel like All I could ever do for you in any universe is show up and stand at attention, listening to you talk, and I Could. What am I supposed to do here? Why am I here? 🥇🎈
It sounds to me like "you need to soften" is an incredibly gentle way to say "based on our interaction right now, you come across as someone who doesnt want a husband because they want to find love, but because you want/think you are entitled to a relationship that you dont have to work for in any way"
Yes there are a lot of red flags, but the thing that says the most to me is "i dont want a man whos a doormat". Instead of saying something like, "i know i tend to take the lead and make the decisions and i want someone who is comfortable with that and honest with me when they want me to step back" she puts all the blame for the relationship failing straight onto her partner and takes no ownership over her actions 😒 sure what she wants is reasonable, but the attitude she has about relationships tells me nothing is going to last very long until she starts reflecting on herself a little
I fucking love the hair and the Patrick sweater. Love love love.
I literally came to the comment just to say this. So, what you said.
Big same!! So freakin adorable! Also love seeing her hair. I like the wigs, but I love her natural hair! 🖤
@@ClemmieWonder 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
@@missmarscandybars3715 yes same!!!!
The MatchMaker had every right to reject someone they might not have been able to match. Like there's a ton of MatchMakers out there. This whole fight is stupid tbh.
@NotVille_"more better"😂
as a late 30s woman who is financially successful and career successful who has divorced a man in the past for wanting to take a back seat while i do all that.. i think she is completely justified in asking for what shes asking for. the terms she uses are odd, but i completely get what she wants. why is it always the woman asked to compromise? its never 'lets find a man on your level' and always 'well you need to accept lesser'. hard no.
its very difficult to find a man when you are where we are because such an overwhelming amount of men, whether they articulate these feelings or not, find your success to be a negative thing. they wonder what their contribution in the relationship is if theyre not in a more secure position in life than you. and they know they cannot use any of those things to control you or hold over you. this is also why so many date younger women. if the matchmaker knows her pool of men are these kinds of men, just say so and dont insult her. Just say you dont have the men for her.
I’m with her on all her points. Sadly, it seems men have become generally less than ideal partners - but I’m biased as I’ve only ever been attracted to women.
I don’t necessarily think that the match maker wants her to settle for less. If it is a matchmaker for the wealthy, then she probably comes across that demand quite often. I think it’s more that this woman talked about steamrolling a partner. That’s not great for men or women to be that way. It comes across as self-centered mostly. Imagine a man saying “I need a woman that I can’t just walk all over.” That’s not a healthy frame of mind because no matter another person’s personality, you shouldn’t steamroll them. It’s not the same as saying “I want a decisive partner. I want a partner who is more opinionated. I want a partner who is more independent”
Omg for real! My ex would not compromise with me on ANYTHING. It always was his way or the high way. Women are always expected to be the ones to sacrifice their wants/needs and it's fucking infuriating.
"Why is it that women have to be the ones to compromise." IM SO CONFUSED HERE, because women I know all pretty much make a lot less than their partners. The women I know ain't tryna date a man who makes much less. Imagine a man divorcing a wife because she was settling in the backseat position, financially. "What is love? BB don't hurt me! No more..." (ok lol jk about the song part)
I have a feeling the matchmaker said that the TYPE of man she wanted prefers women who are a certain way. You have to consider and wonder if you are the type of person that will be a match to what you want. If you aren’t, you either have to change what you want or you have to change a part of yourself that is holding you back from getting what you want. Life is about growing and changing based on feedback and consequences. If you try to change something and you can’t, that’s because it’s part of who are. But if you are able to successfully change something about yourself, it was never who you are if you can be yourself without it. If you love yourself and want yourself to succeed you will be willing to let go of negative aspects of yourself which are preventing you from reaching your goals instead of placing your identity in them and refusing to change them to your own detriment. They are not who you are if you can let them go. It’s hard to change yourself and maybe this is truly who she is and she should find someone who is a match to her. I don’t understand what is so wrong with “betas”
The matchmaker never said “she is unworthy of love” she just couldn’t work with her. She exaggerated & she seems like a difficult person. I wouldn’t want to work with her either.
Yeah I kinda think I have to agree. Being open to something is a good thing In my mind, but if I've already done those things, and didn't like them, I wouldn't want to try it again and I'd voice that. I'm also trying to fight people pleasing because I get a lot of advice for helping my mental issues, and I really want to be better. But I am sick of people telling me what to do without hearing me out. I'ma remember that ❤
same impression as me
Telling someone they have to change in order for them to be able to find a match does sound a little bit like wrong imo 🤷🏻♀️ tell her you don't think you're the right person to find her a match, don't tell people they need to change their personality if they want to find love
@@laurazepam8382can't find the right person if you self sabotage with your personality
She strikes me as the kind of person that is completely unwavering and uncompromising. She wants all the reward without putting in any of the time and effort in order to get it. There's nothing wrong with wanting what you want and having standards, but you have to also be realistic in that if you are going to be so uncompromising that you're going to have a hard time finding what you want.
To be honest, I really don't care. She has no impact on my life whatsoever but I agree that I wouldn't get along with her at all.
10 years of therapy 😅 therapy is great but… generally you go to therapy to learn coping skills and “graduate”
Unfortunately most men who are really rich and driven - they’re looking for young and ready to be wives and moms usually -
I don’t feel like she said she didn’t deserve love but that she couldn’t help her. Which is fair. Would you want a matchmaker picking men for you that doesn’t get along with you?
My theory is the matchmaker prefers to work with more placid people who would be easier to match. Someone like the tiktoker would be very critical and she sounds like a perfectionist. Plus looking specifically for "woo" people, sounds like the matchmaker wants people who believe in the "magic" of her process enough to convince themselves its a good match. Smells like a scam tbh
She seems like a driven, motivated woman who knows what she wants and is trying to get it. Good on her. I hope she finds what she wants. Everyone deserves to find love. Imagine the power couple of 2 individuals like this.
She seems like an insufferable brat.
EXACTLY! Normally, I agree with Guilia on every topic/side she takes but this one was a big miss for me. I’m 36 & thankfully happily married because finding someone that I would mesh with long-term would be impossible if I hadn’t met my wife.
I see 0 wrong with her stance.
I just think about all of the people who I know who have had necessary surgery and almost died from blood clots in their lungs because of the surgery. People be taking their lives in their hands over the vanity and that’s crazy. My aunt almost died from having a bunch of surgery and getting those blood clots in her lungs. She’s lucky she survived.
What, a power couple that would rip each other to pieces?
@@charstevens2686pretty sad that you cant imagine 2 strong personalities supporting each other.
Your hair looks so good with your whole vibe and your face shape
Very respectfully: I think the matchmaker has the wisdom and experience to know what works and what doesn't.
The language the matchmaker used could have been softer/kinder, but I think there's something to be said for a "Type A" person needing to work on compassion/empathy towards a spouse. There needs to be compromise, there needs to be a middle.
As a 'Type A' person that found their spouse later in life, SO many expectations need to be leveled to find happiness. Most importantly, reframe what you're doing: **it's not what you're losing, it's what you're gaining.** My husband is amazing and I cannot imagine my life without him. Had I stuck to my hard and fast rules instead of being open and ready to receive something different than I anticipated, I wouldn't have him today.
TLDR: even though what the matchmaker said was harsh, I hope this person reflects on opening up and compassion to find love, because she's right, she deserves it!
Pretty much. I’m reading in between the lines and the matchmaker was pretty much saying “maybe you should be open to dating men you wouldn’t typically go for” because I mean… clearly the type of men she usually goes for arent working out for her.
It just sounded like that matchmaker wasnt right for her and she took a lot of it personally. Hence the "woo" comment. If I've got a matchmaker asking about woo stuff, so I'm thinking astrology I'm going to stop her right there and say we aren't a good match.
Though a $350 fine just to get this feedback is steep. There should probably be some about page saying what she believes as a matchmaker and what types of people she caters to.
Also, absolutely wouldn't get along with her. A lot of times people use identifiers to excuse bad behavior. Type A can mean they come off as hard or the example you mentioned "honest" just gives them an excuse to be a complete dick and shrug their shoulders and just say theyre being honest.
Highly successful driven people go for soft, homely loving significant other to give balance and meaning to their lives. Describing them as "door mat" rubs me the wrong way.
idk both me and my bf are very driven for personal success (though not carrier cause we dont do well in corporate or non self directed environment)
but it works cause we generally have a very similar lifestyle and want the same thing nearly all the time. kinda feels like hes nearly a extension of my own mind sometimes
but even when we want different things i couldn't imagine denying him that ill help em cause seeing him happy makes me happy.
and yes door mat is insulting and in my opinion very immature of her.
It sounds cliche as hell, but opposites do sometimes attract.
Personally I don't think there was really anything wrong with what she said. Using the term beta is weird but I think she's valid for wanting the things she wants.
Demanding a income level of at or above hers seemed kinda scummy. doubly so if she allredey makes a lot (cause just on the raw maths that would exclude more people)
since when was love about cash? since when was your value to the corporations and your boss reflect what you can give to a lover? its the most unromantic thing ive ever seen!
yea i had way more assets then my bf. i still have slightly more but not by much, and i would gladly give it all for just one more day together because hes the most valuable thing ill ever have. gladly give my last crumb if we where starving.
if you can only be with someone if you like there wallet how can you ever bond on a deep level?
@@kybercat7 how is it scummy to expect someone to make at least as much money as you do? Just because you would gladly date a bum and give him everything you have doesn't mean everyone else feels they way. Maybe raise your standards a bit.
@@mi-no3wk because money has nothing to do with love. its just debt to the banks. he works hard often doin overtime. just wasn't able to save as much as me and invest cause his life waws rough.
more importantly according to my standards he IS the richest catch ever. hes my best friend. someone who likes all the things in life i do. to chill hiking together or hold me at night and make my night terrors vanish.
No amount of cash we could ever make could ever buy what we really give to each other. To expect that out of a relationship is to say you dont really value haveing them as a person as much as the matreal things they can give you.. im not a materialistic person. instead i have someone who make the whole universe shine and gives life meaning.
just because you would gladly date a banker and give him everything you have doesn't mean everyone else feels they way. Maybe raise your standards a bit.
I do think it's valid for her to want someone who's "on her level". Maybe she doesn't want someone who is going to have to rely on her financially, maybe she has experienced relationships in which it at some point did become an issue that she was making substantially more money than her partner ( a lot of men tend to get insecure about that) maybe she just wants a partner that can keep up with her lifestyle.
it seems to me like the matchmaker was honest that she cant provide the service she wants bc she doesnt match her clientele. she comes across as condescending and patronizing, which I'm sure the matchmaker saw and decided wasn't worth her time due to the mental load that would put on her.
So happy u still upload after so many years ❤ love u and ur authenticity
I think it's natural to grow more self aware and assured as to what you demand from life and a partnership as you get older. I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I was widowed almost 5 years ago at 36, and as much as I loved my husband, my approach to future relationships will be completely different. Some of that is the independence I've aquired raising our son alone, and I just can't give that up. In fact, I would need a man who's incredibly independent too. I haven't even attempted to dive back into the dating pool, honestly! My sister in law has tried to set me up with 2 different guys who live out of state but... I'm just not feeling it yet. I'm sure I'll get there eventually - I guess. Sorry for babbling! I'll shut up now 😊
she is clearly very insecure with all of the cosmetic surgery she is getting done. the matchmaker is right, she is not ready and needs to work on herself mentally. just because you have a therapist doesnt mean the therapy is actually helpful, there are unfortunately "yes men" therapists.
Matchmaking seems sketchy in general to me, I definitely feel like that's a lot of money to be told that you are not applicable though. I'd be frustrated and take it personally too probably at that point. As far as her body goes, I think that's her business and I respect that she's so open about it because I a lot of people do keep that type of thing secret and set unrealistic standards and I wouldn't have known about the potential scarring at all if she hadn't discussed it.
Overall I think she might not be perfect but she's very human and it's just not that important to me to feel like I need to say much on it aside from people should leave her alone.
That sweater is the coolest thing I've seen all year. I need that in my life!
I think this lady's problem is she can't stop the plastic surgery. I almost fainted when she said she was just now turning 38. Wow. I have 5 years on her and this woman could just about pass as my mom.
LMAO
def wouldn't get along with her but I'll totally a supporter of people doing the body mods they want!
0:14 I’m loving the tattooed Patrick Star sweatshirt!!
your looks have been great, but today's seems so effortlessly iconic. Cheers and rock on.
Ty for always looking so STYLED AND SO DOPE!! Love you and love the videos 🙏❤️
For me, I think the matchmaker just got defensive that this client didn't want the kind of 'doormat/softer' man that the matchmaker herself married. Being the 'Type A' married to a much more relaxed 'Waymond' type, I can't imagine wanting to be with someone very much like me. For me. But I can understand someone driven and ambitious expecting a partner who can keep up with her and perhaps she was just being a bit heavy handed trying to ward off the hobosexuals and the leech boys.
Yea, the woman who already has a man is the defensive one, not the TikTok woman who can’t even get a man lol.
A broken record here but YOUR HAIR is so cute!! 😍
The reason people say to lower your standards or work on yourself, is to open up that dating pool a little. And people do change through time. Sometimes being around a person, can change you positively and make you find out even more about yourself. It's good to have standards. But also good to take a chance sometimes.
I would never go to a match maker because she couldn’t help me either 😂
Also if she told me to find a man or woman I need to be soft I’d be up and outta there wtf 😂
You need to have *some* softness. Allow yourself to trust and let love happen. Too huge of walls will get in the way of a deeper relationship
@@shannonosullivan1375 I won’t ever start another relationship with just a relationship. People now gotta work for me a little. My ex husband cheated on me with a 19 year old and has now abandoned me and our kids. I can’t just be soft out the gate anymore
i mean, alot of dominant man like submissive woman, and alot of more submissive man like dominant woman. its a clichee but does apply often, tho not always. i dont think its about being soft - soft could be so many things. lol
pretty sad that you cant make tiny changes like "have more empathy"
@@foxbuns that’s not what I said at all. How did that translate to not having more empathy? You didn’t read what I said
Gasp!! Feels like an honor to see your natural hair! It’s beautiful !!!
The whole "you're asking for too much" type of mentality always bothered me
Sure some people out there have ridiculous demands but hers aren't particularly outrageous and so to me this sounds like they're saying "being in a relationship asap should be more important to you that you being fulfilled in that relationship"
Also if you feel like you lowered your standards/settled for someone then to me that sounds like you don't respect your partner and so you shouldn't be in that relationship in any case
Granted what we seek is not always what we should look for but clearly this is not the point those kind of comment are trying to make
I doubt the matchmaker told her that she was unworthy of love. She probably told her that she needs to meet the men halfway and work on some parts of herself if she wants the type of men she desires. It's not a surprising concept even if it does feel like it goes against our idea of "Be Yourself." We still have to work on our personal issues, and try to be appealing enough to attract a partner and we have no problem expecting others to do it for us. Relationships are about compromise.
That is the most fantastic sweater i have ever seen
Her bar is actually really low honestly for what the standards SHOULD be
Your hair is so pretty you’ve inspired me to ask my hairstylist for the same 🥺💕
Imo it’s harder for two type As to blend vs A/B bc As will more likely want things their way rather than being the person needing to constantly accommodate - which type Bs do naturally. Just my little armchair therapist theory.
I think the matchmaker sorta has a point tho. It’s one thing to know what you want, but what do the men you’re going for want? If she wants an “alpha” man, do those kind of men like a self-described difficult woman? Or a woman who’s type B a chills him out?
I love your hair it looks so nice on you 😍💖
I understand the sentiment about her personality and how she comes off, but I think from a more objective standpoint the matchmaker was definitely out of line and unprofessional in her approach. She made it sound like this woman had to change her personality in order to fit her possible matches, rather than the matchmaker doing her job to find the best suitor FOR HER. I really don’t think her standards are that high either - whether they’ll all be met immediately is another matter - but she didn’t get so specific that I think it would remove a lot of possible matches. (I agree that what she is searching for may not be the actual perfect fit though, since balance is important in a relationship, but she’s also grown enough to probably know best what she is searching for.)
I also think the surgery bashing is completely uncalled for, especially since she didn’t even mention any expectations or desires for what she wants a partner to look like. So for people to tell her she isn’t good enough or that the fact that she had a lot of surgery should somehow disqualify her from finding a good partner or something?? It’s ridiculous, not to mention incredibly rude. She was just sharing info about her experience. I know people will say if you post it, people are allowed to comment, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy (or warranted) to hear a bunch of strangers tell you you’re a bad person or something because you got elective surgery.
I love your shirt!! Im inspired to make my own tattooed Patrick shirt now
10:10 wait wait wait....
You need a license to "practice" match making?!?! 😅🤨
I appreciate your perspective RTG. Well said. Have a good weekend.
Quick, somebody send this woman a link to the 'married at first sight' application! 😂 That's obviously what she's looking for...
Every person who told me they never lie have been the biggest liars. Seriously, look out for these people.
Matchmakers from what I know basically owe you nothing. Your paying to meet with them it's in the fine print. Most of them not all can be very old-school thinking. This woman wasted her money and she's upset. I don't even think a official license is a thing for them they just take a online course and get a print out.
Off topic. Just want to compliment your new hairstyle. You look great! 🎉
SWEATER GET WHERE DID YOU THAT I NEED FUGLY THING 😱
*AHEM* … sorry about that. What I meant to say is: pardon me, would you be so kind as to direct me to the store or website where you bought that phenomenal article of intentionally hideous winter wear? I feel an overwhelming desire to add it to my wardrobe.
That is a fantastic jumper I absolutely love it
I agree, it's too easy to tear people down online over one criticism. How about we practice taking people for who they are with discernment and reflection, including who we are and what we want. RTG does this well.
I've been the flipside of this woman, and it didn't get me a man I'd marry. If people are rejecting others based on the use of words like beta, I'm already out of that game. Better to encourage people that they are lovable regardless of stereotypes. Again, well said by RTG.
well this is gonna be a good watch
oof im in the service industry and i would turn her away too. like im getting so much red flags from her
Firstly, I don’t think she wants kids & is very career driven. You don’t put in all that work to make you feel comfortable with your body to then have it wrecked by pregnancy - my sister is STILL suffering debilitating post-birth complications despite having a perfectly normal pregnancy.
Secondly, I didn’t find anything wrong with what she said as it comes off as she wants someone with similar goals & attitude. My wife & I are very alike in our marriage - and have rarely had any conflict whatsoever, certainly to the point where it’s become a deal breaker between us. We both were open with our wants, hard “no’s”, and our pasts from early on. Ex: Neither of us wanted kids in any capacity & have refused to even sign legal godparent type contracts for family. We don’t hate kids, but would not be good parents due to health & financial reasons.
Also to expand on your comment, Opposites have never been attractive to me & we are both alike personality wise.
The matchmaker probably didn’t mesh well with her, nor do I think this woman was wanting a marriage, partner, etc immediately - just someone she could see that path with. I don’t know who this TikTok person is, but she seems very straightforward & knows what she wants in life - so good for her!
3:45 yeah but id much rather tell them these things at first to be upfront about both my expectations and what they should expect from me during the relationship, ive countless times been rejected because I don't want sex until marriage and if I didn't tell them upfront about it id have been pressured and dumped when i continued to say no
The match maker is like ahuman version of the same algorhytm that mat hes you up with people on any dating apps. Id trust a person over a computer when it comes to romance.
Why is your sweater so mesmerizing
Honestly the matchmaker was out of pocket *and* unprofessional for telling her to change herself instead of conveying that majority of her clientele on the opposite side would not, indeed, match with her personality type, which is completely valid because certain businesses and services cater to specific people, but if that was the issue, the matchmaker did a terrible job of communicating it, and we can't really blame this woman for the way she reacted, especially after she had already paid for the "consultation" fee just to find out the matchmaker wanted to shove her into a mold she didn't fit in nor asked for. Her standards weren't anything crazy or out of the ordinary either, if a man had said he's looking for that in a woman I KNOW no one would have a problem with it, but as always, women are held at a higher standard and bashed for expressing their completely reasonable wants 🤷🏻♀️
I would totally agree IF we knew for sure that those are things the matchmaker actually said. It could have easily been her interpretation was completely different than what they actually meant
Honestly, I'm skeptical that the matchmaker wouldn't be able to help her find the type of person she's looking for, but I have to agree with them that she doesn't seem ready for a relationship, regardless of how she feels about it
You make me laugh so much all the time with these videos. Thank you for the content
I actually need to know where you got that jumper is from!! I'm in love, and I kinda need it asap!! 🖤
I have a friend who is a Jewish Matchmaker in Brooklyn. She told me that constructive criticism is common for both men and women. The idea is that it's not that you're not "worthy of love", but that you may not have the needed tools to be in a monogamous, lifelong relationship that will succeed. If she were polyamorous, not looking for a life-long partner, or was looking for something else, she would need/not need a different set of tools as there are different benefits and challenges to those relationships. As she is looking for a long term monogamous relationship with a man, there may be tools she need to work on a foundation to a relationship that she doesn't already have. "Worthiness" has nothing to do with it. If this woman didn't need to work on herself at all and already had all the answers, she would have achieved her goal. As it stands, constructive criticism isn't a personal attack on her, but rather giving her an idea of what she needs to have success with the goal she has in mind. Never compromise your values, morals, and self respect, but if you want long term monogamy, being flexible on appearance, income, and status is probably a good idea if you want something more substantive. From what it sounds like, the matchmaker telling her that the men she has want a "softer" woman may have been a polite euphemism for: "my clients find you abrasive; take it down a notch".
Maybe she mad she spent $300+ for nothing 😬😬😬
I think she exaggerated what the matchmaker really said to her. I would love to hear the matchmakers side.
Thousands of dollars for a matchmaker dating apps are free and even the ones that charge are not that expensive 😂 and you won’t have someone judging you for what you like or tell you to change yourself
omg your hair is so cute
I love your short hair girlie. It looks super cute!
Not everyone is suited to being in a relationship. If you've reached a certain point in your life where you don't really need anyone but kind of want them, then find ways to be social other than just dating.
The match maker was trying to say I cant match you right now because no one is looking for someone like you. If she is perfect and worthy and doesnt need to change why is she single at 38?
I think the biggest issue is telling women they need to be 'soft, feminine and submissive' in order to date men. It is unhealthy and rooted in patriarchy, not every man is intimidated by a dominant women and not every women is submissive, quiet and does what she's told. That is my issue with this because if you read the comments it is a lot of men saying dominant women are unattractive and that they only find submissive, slave types attractive which is saying a lot about the way men still view themselves as 'above' women.
Omg that tummy tuck scar was f**ked!!!! That poor woman! Remind me not to go there for PS!
Isn't Twitter "Platform X" now? 😂😂😂 saw that yesterday somewhere
Glare, you’re perfect! Don’t get plastic surgery 😊😊😊😊😊😊😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
As an old women my heart goes out to her💔
I can’t help but think, while she’s explaining why it’s more cost-effective to get her surgery done in Philadelphia then to go back to the Dominican Republic, is it really just the cost-effectiveness? Do you not want to go back there because they clearly botched part of your surgery? To each their own and all that, but you will not see me going under the knife, voluntarily, in a foreign country. The logistics of what you would need to do to get back home if something went terribly wrong is just too upsetting and anxiety inducing for me. Aside from the fact that how do you hold them accountable once you’re back home if something went wrong?
👏 Truth! The car ride home from the dentist after a root canal feels long enough. Pain + travel is horrible, why combine them on purpose?
Can’t imagine taking ✈️ a flight after major surgery. You make such good points about physician accountability, after care, etc 😖 So many dangers and complications are possible.
First time I saw this video, I totally agree with the woman in the TikTok. I think its a form of projection being unworthy of love, but i think its a fair one. I think that the matchmaker could have worded this better and with the way she phrased her sentence i think its inevitable for a person to not arrive at that message.
I love your hair cut! ❤
just imagine if she got mad the matchmaker couldn't find her someone.... because she spent so much money on her..... I think the matchmaker was trying to protect herself
Like you said I think it's mainly her attitude that pissed people off, because I find her comments valid but I can totally see how she comes off unsympathetic.
The way she words things I don't think I'd personally mesh with her but hearing how the conversation went with the matchmaker I'd hate being around them too, like 'do you meditate? Journal?' I can totally see them clashing, they seem like the type that's pushy in their own way about what a woman should be or do, and they did seem unprepared for this paid meeting with their client.
I'd understand saying what they've seen men 'go for' in their business but deciding a person isn't ready according to their own standards doesn't sit well with me. Then again I do think they weren't a good fit personality wise anyway which I'd find important if I'm going through someone else to pick matches for me.
I think theres somebody for everybody 🤷♀️
I think that the monetary aspects of that TikTok personally rubbed me the wrong way. I never knew that there were in person matchmakers that you pay for, so her saying that she spent thousands of dollars on something I never heard of was jarring. I guess it just makes it harder to empathize her when there’s nothing to relate to. I don’t think she deserved any hate for that though, she’s probably just out if touch with the general population.
Also the comment about betas didn’t do her any favors, since the only people who I’ve heard genuinely use those terms are all bigoted freaks. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt on that one though
Love your hair!!!
I'm wilded out that matchmaker is still a careerpath (not talk down on this)? I only know this in the terms of the back in the ye ole' days when technology of the electronic variety wasn't even a thought.
its pretty obsolete these days, considering most dating apps are free.
@@foxbunswell people on dating apps are 95% on there for casual things not mariage or family?
I think she seeks instant fixes for everything. Sometimes you have to "do the work", in every aspect of life...
Random question 😂😂 where did you get your shirt
Massive core elements of who I am ; would make me, “soft”
omg your hair cut is so cute ps DELETE TICKTOK
I think this lady made a way bigger deal about this than she needed to. Just go to a different match maker. Also she claimed she spent thousands of dollars on this matchmaker but then said she spent $350. So I'm a little skeptical of this woman's honesty.
To be fair I think that was likely a $350 consultation fee and her regular rate may have been higher.
@@SageTheMage17 ah I didn't consider that, Ive never been to a matchmaker lol
@@damarakap9738 me neither haha. I just figured it might be the case since she said she was “assessing her”.
loving the shorter hair
And where exactly is the “asking too much” part? Smh
She should really be taken her matchmaking license away!!
@10:30 honestly i think maybe the matchmaker only has a clientele of men that are seeking a "softer" woman. doubt matchmaker meant she wasnt worthy of love smdh. Im 40 and not even worried about relationships. @12:3 WOWWWWWW LMFAO that's very telling.... WAIT @12:52 what who TF gets that much plastics done and HAVENT HAD KIDS?!?!!?!!?!? MAAM WOW no ive had kids and accept myself more so than this woman. no wonder the matchmaker wasnt just coddling her......
She's fine asking for what she wants. She has put in the effort for that with her career, physical presentation, mental health, and interviewing matchmakers. She shows her soft side when she's talking about going out to have fun, a lovely demeanor shift imo. She also has a right to her feelings and experience.
My question is, do people want to be judged as much as they judged her? From one video, or even two? That's shallow, superficial, unattainable, and literally makes her more authentic than her detractors.
She seems like a lot , like she would argue with you if you pushed and take advantage if you didn’t
,
It makes sense why she needs a match maker
I think i ❤️ your sweater, is what i think.
You get older as a woman and they criticise your wrinkles and saggy breasts, you do PS and they will criticise that you got PS. Can't win.
😂 matchmaking license... Sure WTFN😆
"i dont meditate or journal or any "woo" "
Journaling and meditating is "woo?" Wtf? I think the matchmaker was questioning whether she was mindful or self reflective?? Of course she didn't pick that up! I do actually wonder how insane of a meltdown she might have if her status symbols disappeared overnight through some tragedy or another. I think the matchmaker was trying to see if she had any moments of self reflection outside of focusing on the next goal of the rat race / consumer culture. With some deep introspection I was able to see that what i deeply, truly want is more easily fulfilled than when I was looking outwards all the time. Like, what is satisfaction? Building forever? To Giulia's point about opposites attracting, there are many high power go getters that want a contast in the home relationship. Its similar to how people make fun of soft guys, whereas she is a hard gal.
For example, a guy can be as soft as he wants, and that is A-OK, but he is not entitled to a soft girl when he is out here living his best soft life. It's just so often that opposites attract. Similarly, a body builder women isnt entitled to a body builder man who may be into soft girls. If a very wealthy go-getter guy was complaining about not finding a woman of his wealth and initiative (because he doesnt always want to be the one in charge) he might also be asked if he does introspective exercises. There are definitely women who take charge, but they might not be of the same income bracket. They might be able to bond on deep values though, with some introspection. Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk, and I continue.
This tiktok individual is unhinged IMO, and needs a reality check. Of course she feels she got ripped off. She is too hard (as in dense and stubborn) with huge walls up to the general ways of the world. She didnt get any value from the consultation because she didn't listen to the feedback she was given, instead twisting the meaning and using that perverted misconstruction as fuel to claim this matchmaker's career should be destroyed. Oh heck no. If the gender roles were reversed, we would have a chaotic, poor softboi trying to get a matchmaker fired because the matchmaker told him, "hey, other chaotic, soft, poor woman typically want a man who is a little bit harder and more disciplined, and maybe you should try to lean into that a little if you want more success. I really don't know what to tell you." That's not controversial. It's telling someone why not even a matchmaker is down to take more of their money. Gender is performative, and we can lean into to that stuff, especially if we are desperate and not even a matchmaker feels right taking any more of our money. Her rage reminds me of soft guys raised on "there are no differences betwen men and women at all" going through the stages of grief, realizing that the women they are into might be attracted to a hint of classic masculinity.
This lady wants to get the matchmaker's career dumped because the matchmaker acknowledged some hard generalizations? This lady is in denial that she has been paying for 10 years of a yes-ma'am therapist that's 'just' been telling her what she wants to hear. Not all therapy is made equal; thats what I tell people. I think some Navajo elder was recently in a video where he talk's about the dangers of "pretty lies." I get the feeling this lady has been living in a golden prison of "pretty lies." "What's in the dark, must, come to the light, right?"--C.J. Walz(?), Golden Legacy
💫 I feel like All I could ever do for you in any universe is show up and stand at attention, listening to you talk, and I Could. What am I supposed to do here? Why am I here? 🥇🎈
Girl that sweater is high rizz fashion 👌👌
I love your videos keep up the good work
your hair looks great
Love ur sweater ❤