between the end of bar 12 amd 13 instead of going up a semitone, go up a 5th or 6th, becuase that semitone increase/modulation is jarring. try add something to bar 28,29, like something right over the top othewrwise the descending motif can be really plain. bar 52,that woodwind, add onto that otherwise its a little like why is this here. these were like the only things that stood out to me, otherwise keep up the good work, and just slowly build.
id also make your cadence a little longer. you had a motif with the woodwinds, personally id continue that motif until the end of the piece, then like a half cadence then perfect cadence that runs for 6-8ish bars
Thank you for the insightful suggestions! I completely agree in that this piece is quite rushed and doesn’t include a lot of sense or structure, which is what I struggle at perfecting. I’ll make sure to add ur suggestions
i like that very much!
I want this on spotify. thanks
If I ever upload this on Spotify I’ll make sure to tell you!
between the end of bar 12 amd 13 instead of going up a semitone, go up a 5th or 6th, becuase that semitone increase/modulation is jarring. try add something to bar 28,29, like something right over the top othewrwise the descending motif can be really plain. bar 52,that woodwind, add onto that otherwise its a little like why is this here. these were like the only things that stood out to me, otherwise keep up the good work, and just slowly build.
id also make your cadence a little longer. you had a motif with the woodwinds, personally id continue that motif until the end of the piece, then like a half cadence then perfect cadence that runs for 6-8ish bars
Thank you for the insightful suggestions! I completely agree in that this piece is quite rushed and doesn’t include a lot of sense or structure, which is what I struggle at perfecting. I’ll make sure to add ur suggestions