The Fastest Way to Become Miserable
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- I promise this type of relationship will never work out in the end. Let's talk about it.
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Pro Tip: People who are genuinely happy don't feel the need to spend a lot of time and energy defending the fact that they are happy.
"B-but everyone mocks poly relationships all the time, we're oppressed so we have to defend ourselves constantly" Yeah cuz people with half a brain and common sense know poly "relationships" are a terrible idea "but the divorce rate for monogamous relationships is so high" yet poly relationships get toxic and fall apart faster than even the worse monogamous relationships do...
@@puerry it seems like all around people have suddenly lost the capacity and maturity to get along with each other and put in genuine effort, in both monogamous and poly relationships, even friendships..then they proceed to complain about being lonely 🤦♀️😔 it's not only sad but it's scary...society is being ruined on every level because of this!!! Smh..
@@puerry I knew 3 people who were in a relationship for about 10 years. They only split up because one had died in a car wreck, and the other two didn't want to remain together without her.
Not all 3 person relationships end badly due to the people involved becoming distant or argumentative with each other.
🎉
Reminds me of the "trad wife" grift.
My sibling has been poly for over a decade and literally laughed when I told them I was getting married and said "it'll last a year". Fifteen years later, I have two beautiful children and a home. They live with my mom, alone. So......
they?
oh,nice and then you just give them the middle finger for saying that bad stuff your face when there poly thing didn't last unlike your great marriage.
@@minaropaa7535 not because they require it, but because I have some weird need to not share every detail publicly, as in their sex. 🤷♀️
@@azurekite3870 honestly, that's accomplished by just me existing happily. I know they hate that more than anything.
@@kigetit oh lol
"Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire."
- Gustav Mahler
There's a movie that exemplifies what Brett says at the beginning here. That movie is "Captain Fantastic". 👍
Tradition is peer pressure from dead people
@@sayantanpaul5947 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@enigmaticallis3110 my MSG got deleted 😢
Strange how so many "traditionalists" piss on Abraham and Jacob/Israel.
Solomon was out of line. And so was David. But Jesus was no bastard and Heavenly Parents aren't single.
"nonmonogamous couples reported greater levels of commitment" when your definition of commitment is so wishy-washy that it means nothing, then yeah it's really easy to meet.
Like most of the definitions activists have taken over. Ex, Women.
@@Cardinal_clawit’s science for its definition
Idk, non monogamous relationships seem like a good way to get an ETS 😅
it is liking saying extrovrts/social butterflys have better ties with friends than introverts
James Dobson was asked why people cheat. He said the #1 reason was EGO: people want to know they're still attractive and desirable to others.
How about staying attractive and desirable to the one person who matters?
Hormones and lack of self control.
I knew one Poly couple who would come to one of my friends parties and get togethers and I have never heard more messy stories and hidden jelousy and the husband falling in love with the new younger more driven woman and so on and so on...I could never imagine disrespecting myself like that. ever.
You either want all of me or none of me. Period.
Those dudes were falling for younger women who put out. That's it. We don't give a single damn about how driven they are if it doesn't involve getting us off.
That women who had the baby, what a dumb arse. How can your husband bond with the new child if he's off bending some rando over a table somewhere? Do you make him get an STD test before he touches you again? Wow. Just. Wow.
I agree. If you are willing to share your most intimate parts with anyone, then what special thing is left for your spouse? Isn't that what makes it special? The fact that your spouse is the only person to have that part of you?
100% Its either you want me and only me or you don’t. Not going to settle for anything less than monogamy
That's why it's got to be twins.
Polyamory only favors the party with more options and there is ALWAYS one party that has much more options than the other.
THIS.... NEEDS TO BE A TOP COMMENT. That's why I usually tell guys not to do it in heterosexual relationships.
Yeah and what happens when one of those options gets jealous and possessive? And they try to sabotage the relationship.
That’s exactly what happened to the Destiny fool.
It doesn't "favor" anybody. Both parties are engaging in sinful disordered behavior. In fact using your logic it favors the person with more options LESS, because they are committing even more sin.
@@zoomskilleruseful perspective, multiple ways to look at this
polyamory is always immoral.
monogamy is best.
But polygamy must NOT be illegal. lest moral parenting become illegal.
"think, Elephant, THINK! what happens when you pass and ignore laws against religious freedom in the home? You get laws against YOUR religion in YOUR homes!"
So basically people want to cheat without being labeled a cheater. Their partner cheats. And they cheat. And then they’re miserable and hurt and feel lost, insecure, and without boundaries. Color me shocked.
That's why I hate seeing "ENM" which apparently stands for "Ethically non-monogamous" on profiles when swiping. It's just calling out for anyone without a spine.
ow, every instance of them I've seen they just use it as an excuse to never have their partners back when any issue arises... The woman going thru a rough patch? Well, the man is suddenly too occupied chasing one of his other sexual intrests romantically... When the man is going thru hard times, the woman 'suddenly' and 'magically' has a new crush she's persuing and dating with and couldn't care less about him being 'a burden'... The only times these 'poly-amorous' people are together, is when everything is vomiting sunshine and rainbows... And all the rest of the time they don't give a sht about each other ;-) It's just the peak of existence in a selfish ego-centred society that refuses to compromise and work on their relationships and expect all of the benefits for none of the hard work ;-) Just like they do with everything else in their lives ;-)
That's how I feel about it. To me, it's cheating on your partner with permission!!
I used to have a friend who was in a polyamorous relationship with two men. She married one and had the other one living with them as her boyfriend. I lost touch with her years ago and didn't know what had happened with her relationships until I saw that a mutual friend of ours had liked a post of hers with pictures of her marrying the other guy. Polygamy isn't legal where she lives, so I took that to mean that the first guy she married was no longer in the picture.
To me, the whole thing is just messed up. I don't know why anyone would willingly allow themselves to be devalued like that in a relationship.
It's nasty business. Count your blessings that such a thing seems simply impossible
I met my husband at 20, married at 23. We were virgins together. It has been an amazing 36 years.! I feel safe and complete. I never worried about any transmitted diseases (AIDS was just beginning to spread). Our intimacy is more than sexual which is comforting. I haven’t compared him to another or been compared to another by him it keeps us bonded as one through God.
Im gonna be honest here, when i got married i was convinced i was polyamorous. My husband agreed and we did give it a go.
Surprise Surprise, the situation blew up in our faces.
I think my drive to be polyamorous is directly connected to the sexual and emotinal abuse during my childhood. I had no clue how to respect marriage, sex or my husband.
Choosing polyamory was THE WORST decision i ever made. I hurt my husband and damaged my marriage.
I’m sorry you and your husband went through that. How are you guys doing now? I think that it’s a good step in the right direction to recognize how these polyamorous desires are actually related to a past trauma. I wish you, your husband, and your marriage the best and hope you heal.
It takes a lot of courage to admit a past mistake, major kudos. I hope you take comfort in the fact that you learned sooner rather than later and didn't double down, which would have only prolonged your suffering. I wish you the best on your recovery.
I hope you fully recover and heal 🙏
Wow, I swear her comment section is a therapy session. Thank you for that incredible story. I hope you all are happy now.
Very telling you started saying you "are polygamous" as if it's something inherent in you. Good thing you realized it's a choice. Tired of people calling choices something they "are".
Anyone who asks you for an open relationship has already cheated in their mind. They knew who they are going to do it with before you even talked about it.
Run and dont ever look back.
Agreed, and it always happens that the moment the partner agrees to it, the other basically runs toward a certain person in their circle immediately
They had already begun doing things that weren't right like flirting, they've been thinking about having sex with them, going out with them, etc, but they bring up opening up the relationship just to not feel guilty
Open relationships are nothing but a sad try of someone trying not to feel guilty but being selfish enough to not have the balls of leaving their partner or being honest.
Or they already cheated and are asking for retroactive permission.
Yep. My wife wanted and open relationship, and I knew exactly who she wanted to be with. He was “just a friend”. I divorced her, and she was with him in a matter of weeks. 🙄
my ex fiance asked me for another girlfriend (obviously i said no, he was my fiancé at the time) and then later figured out he already cheated on me and was subscribed to OF the whole time
@@junep.7779it’s very cowardly
I've known one poly group and those 5 people were the most depressed, miserable, and selfish people I'd ever met. The amount of back stabing, manipulating, and thinly masked resentment was mind blowing. Yet if anyone ever asked you'd think they'd found a new form of enlightenment.
That sure sounds like a fun time...
polyamory is not a real relationship. Polygamy is painfully difficult.
and monogamy is best.
but polygamy is illegal, and adultery isn't. so those who dare have no protections. (nor do those who don't dare married to those who DO).
Your entire knowledge base rests on one unscientific observation with a sample size of five.
I've known five monogamous people who were the most depressed, miserable and selfish people I know. That must mean I can infer that monogamy inevitably leads to those things....
@@kenofken9458 I wasn't implying that my one experience spoke for everyone, don't conflate your projection with my experience. I was really pointing out the contradiction between what I saw as a friend vs what they told strangers their life was like. Maybe lay off the caffeine.
@@bleukettu4521 Of course you're implying that your one observation was typical if not virtually universal.
Is that contradiction between outward projection and internal happiness really so rare in your experience? You've never known traditional couples who put up a front of domestic happiness to outsiders while being miserable in reality?
You know those thousand lb pumpkins that win the ribbon at the fair? They get the prize because the farmer cuts all the other pumpkins off the vine and devotes all of his time into tending that pumpkin. That’s how your marriage should be. 🎃
I love this.
I'm allergic to pumpkin, though
This is cute 🥰 I love this metaphor ❤
This is so wholesome and beautiful
Very cute❤
Open relationships were pretty popular when I was in college and being surrounded by that kind of environment was a bit uncomfortable for me. One of my old friends got in an open relationship and people got mad at me for not agreeing with that relationship, my ex wanted an open relationship and I remember my voice cracking and heart breaking in response (I said no and we broke up like the week after), and my former roommate and her boyfriend were in an open relationship. That last one was especially uncomfortable because the boyfriend would constantly hit on me and even asked me out once his girlfriend and I stopped being roommates. I said no. And when it came to my old friend, ex-roommate, and her boyfriend, they would all get SUPER defensive whenever someone didn’t agree with their relationships. They would get defensive, try to convince themselves that they were happy, and sometimes verbally attack the person who disagrees. It was unfortunate to witness.
Polygamy isnt just "weird" it feels fundamentally wrong to me, how miserable do you have to be to accept "sharing" something as sacred as love, that just feels like digging your own romantical grave.
as a aromantic person i dont get it either its dumb af
I would never share my partner. Poly is so weird to me.
First things first is not for everybody also there was that you need to have a lot of these people don't have rules in their poly relationship monogamy is about as old as Poly
@@trublacking8572 so is a child bride. Old is not good lol.
My ex wanted to bring a third into our bed. I told her absolutely not. Strange that she brought this up after befriending people from two different poly relationships.
Please tell me you pulled the ejection cord right after that? And why is it that women are so easily sucked into this garbage?
and you broke up with her afterwards?
@@azurekite3870The word ex should confirm that.
Only because she wanted to bring another man lol
@@jmz2144 I hope your not projecting.
My mom's best friend is a swinger and she is hands down one of the most unhappy people I have ever met. She is always super depressed and overwhelmed and unsatisfied in all her relationships. I wonder why...🤷♀️
Hands down? You know this how? 😂
Not much difference between polyamory and swinging.
😂😂😂😂 sad
because her friend's kid is a judgemental, close minded individual who thinks there is a "right" relationship
Correlation does not equal causation
People want something between monogamy and and complete non-monogamy.
Translation: people want to go out and sleep around but have their partner remain faithful.
Yes we do and in our case it's justified
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." - Matthew 19:6
That does not prohibit marrying another woman and it was not prohibited in christianity up till VII century or so
@@jimmcneal5292do you have a source for that?
@jimmcneal5292 you are kidding, right? You cannot be serious. Poligamy was not Jewish way at times of Jesus and it definitly wasn't way of Christians, any Christians. Even today, while some Christian groups allow divorce, they don't allow multiple wives.
@@monilipDepends on the group of Jews in question. Monogamy was actually enforced by the Roman Empire, not the Jews. The Jews later adopted the model themselves. I would list sources, but RUclips.
@@javierclement3047 "polygamy in christianity" wiki page
Seeing too many these days people who want someone for s*x and someone for financial security. Poly relationships just cut the cheating factor while winding up in the same state of misery.
There's no such word as "throuple". It goes couple, triple, quadruple.
It's still cheating even if you call it with another name.
Dog's tail isn't its 5th leg even if you say it is.
@@newera478 Say what you will, but a husband convincing his wife that he should be allowed to go sleep with women while she is pregnant is some high level jedi mind trick.
"So what you're saying is.. You want me to sleep with women OUTSIDE the city."
If it weren't just from the woman being insecure then I would say we need to study this man.
yup
Considering the cost of living these days, that's not surprising
My cousin and his wife decided they wanted a poly lifestyle... They are now divorced and He has sole custody of the kids and she is with one of the guys they had in their poly relationship... It's a mess!
where can i find conservative women?
@@karlhans6678 All over, just not in California lol
@@karlhans6678 step one: genuinely become a Christian.
Step two: go to a Bible believing church.
Step three: join a Bible study.
step four: inform said Bible study you are single.
That’s how you find a conservative woman.
@@karlhans6678 date a devout muslim/jew/christian
@@bethanymiller3838Yep, that's exactly how I found my wife. Praise the lord 🙌
Love is love and lust is lust.
So true 😂
I think most hookups are out of emotional neediness, not lust. The vast majority of people are just not very sexually desirable.
Are they not like oil and water?
THIS! Say it louder for the folks in the back! Love and lust are not and have never been the same, but pop culture tends to treat them that way. Drives me nuts because I see the damage this confusion is causing all the time.
I’m stealing this
As someone whose husband wanted this, whose husband thought and convinced me it would spice things up, boy were we wrong.
I was pressured into it and regretted it immediately, but we kept it up for 5 months. It almost destroyed our marriage but thank God I brought him back to the light. We kicked those scumbags to the curb and we’ve never been closer or happier.
No matter how “boring” things get, it’s vastly better than the alternative.
Glad you maintained your marriage but how? I can't see a way through this without divorce.
I have immense respect for you guys for working through this.
I was talking to my friends little sister, (shes 12) we were just talking about her school and stuff and then she proceeds to tell me about her GIRLFRIEND, i was like "Oh! You have a girlfriend?" She just stared at me like i was an idiot and said, "No, i have three." So i go on and say, "THREE?!" cause thats really weird, and then she goes "Yeah, I'm poly." And rolls her eyes and walks away from me.
What happened to kids? 😢
WTF😮
Don't worry. A while ago, my BJJ coach was telling me about how his daughter's friends all went lesbian in high school, before they started dating dudes in college.
I imagine that she will eventually find herself attracted to some muscle bound guy with all the classic 'toxic masculinity' traits and will want to settle down with him.
@@IphigeniaAtAulis hopefully, she told me she went to school wearing a pride flag as a cape 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ how she doesn't get bullied I will never know
It’s the cool thing to do nowadays, and girls are very socially impressionable.
Fairly easy to answer.
The old generation has all the money and is oriented as backwards as it gets.
The middle generation got drowned in student debt and can't do anything,
The young generation is progressive and has understood, they have to grow up as fast as they can to make a difference before it's too late and the system collapses in civil unrest.
About the poly part ..... children experiment around, it's how they learn how the world works.
Parents forbidding their kids some things don't get anywhere, forbidden things are specifically attractive for the kids and will be done not despite being forbidden but because of that.
Good parents will educate their kids, tell them about the advantages and downsides of these things, so that the kids when experimenting around at least know what they are doing.
Take a wild guess why all the problems from teen pregnancy up to abortions are way more common in religious families? Might be because religious people don't educate their children in time.
I wish people would see the value in themselves, rather than excepting what they think they deserve.
Not trying to be a fuddy duddy here but I think you ment to say "Accepting" and not the other kind of "Excepting". The other one you used has a different meaning but sounds similar so I can see the confusion. Sorry if you happen to be foreign or a child and didn't know but just to help clarify for you. But yeah other than the incorrect word you used I totally agree people should learn to value themselves and have better self respect. I know if it was me I wouldn't put up with this kinda polyamory $hit and would just stick to one person or neither because no one is allowed to share me. You either have all of me or none of me but only one person could not 2 or more. Whatever happened to true love and just finding "THE ONE" since when did it become finding the TWO or the THREE? 🤷🏽♀️
@@VintageVirgo2002 or worse, someone thinks they found THE ONE and finds out they are in position TWO or THREE in that person’s life. 🤢
@@bethanymiller3838 Yeah I don't condone cheating so if I found out I was just the side chick and not the main chick let alone the ONLY chick I'd automatically break up with them cuz I have self respect and no way would I be someone's second or third love interest/lead like this isn't no kdrama or TV show this is real life man. I've never dated anyone cuz I'm only 21 but Ik if and when I do I won't tolerate all that bull crap. Id rather be alone and by myself than be in a relationship with 500 people like. I don't even like to share my fav snacks or food with people let alone my own future man who isn't even real yet.
I have a friend who has a friend who has been in poly relationships and got her heart broken by a guy she was with because he dumped her for the other girl. And I told my friend "Dude, I'm gonna be honest but I have zero sympathy for your friend because she chose to be in a relationship like that, therefore she doesn't have the right to complain about it." Needless to say, he agreed and told his friend to not talk about this stuff with him anymore because clearly she does not want to take his advice at all.
Literally 😂😂😂😂
Heart breaks happen no matter the relationship type, I've had my heart broken over friendships ending too.
@@LeahBreHappyHeartbreaks are much less likely to happen if you don't sleep around or engage in polyamory
@@LeahBreHappy Way to miss the point
@@LeahBreHappyThat's like saying, car accidents happen no matter which road you are taking.
That’s a no from me.
Poly people are the vegans of relationships. They're constantly telling people how wonderful their lifestyle is, all through gritted teeth while looking like they are about to have a nervous breakdown and start crying.
thats so true lol
"Vegans of relationships." That's a great way to describe them.
💯 Great way to put it.
😂😂😂and it's true
Hilariously accurate.
Tradition is one of the main ways in which wisdom is passed to the younger generation.
One of the ways? It is the primary conduit.
Just no
If 18 people in a room are shown a picture of a square, but 17/18 of them say they see a triangle, that doesn’t f-ing mean it’s a triangle!!! Be that one person who has the balls to stand in their conviction and call it a damn square!!! Be the SQUARE!!!!▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️
You sure it's not a rectangle?
There are four lights!!!!!!!
😂
You sure it ain't an octagon?
You realize that being a square is insult, right?
i don’t see how it’s possible for someone to show equal amounts of romantic love to multiple people at the same time, that honestly sound so stressful
How do people show equal love for more than one child? Or friends, or other family members?
It's romantic love that we treat as a zero-sum game.
@@kenofken9458That’s because romantic love is literally the only one that is supposed to work that way, you dingus.
@@kenofken9458 romantic love is not tvhe same as friendship, not the same as loving your siblings , not the same as loving your kids. All of these types of love are different , bruh
@@kenofken9458 because it’s the only one where a zero sum is the best way to succeed and be mutually happy, supported, and loving. Every other type of relationship doesn’t require the same amount of vulnerability, intimacy, and trust. Not by a long shot.
@@soumakirimoto2195 Of course they're different, but in the case of a parent's love for children, there is no higher or deeper level of emotional commitment that one human can make to another. If people can handle more than one of those relationships, it makes no sense at all to state that it's fundamentally impossible for them to do so with romantic relationships. Time and energy are finite resources, love is not.
Let us pray for these lost souls. They are not the enemy. The devil who has deceived them is.
I did the polyamory thing briefly. IT WAS MISERABLE. Grateful my now husband stuck with me and we both saw the light and escaped all that mess together. Happily married for 6 years, and have zero desire to EVER go down that path again. #makemonogamygreatagain
Just out of curiosity, what got you sucked into it in the first place?
Seriously, I see so many people in happy monogamous relationships suddenly decide to go down this route and I have no clue what they could possibly be thinking (women especially seem suseptible to this). Any info would be enlightening.
@@IphigeniaAtAulis I believe it had a lot to do with not finding true healing from s*xual abuse in my childhood. Attention via intimacy was where I felt true value, and before poly I was just horrible with infidelity to find that feeling of value. Mix that with a dose of quite left-wing social appetites, and polyamory seemed to briefly pacify my need to be desired in order to feel valuable as a human and woman. After realizing I was just being used by two of the three partners I had, it clicked that I was continuing to allow myself to be a plaything for men in the guise of "feminism" and "progress". Just another way feminism hurts women, particularly women who have already been victims. That's my specific experience, however.
@@IphigeniaAtAulis to give context about how polyamory harmed my health: I never experienced anxiety as a disorder UNTIL I was a few months into polyamory. Once I was a few months deep, anxiety and full blown panic attacks began to roll in every day, and often many times a day. Centered around a debilitating fear and OCD-like hyperfocus on accidental poisoning or just dying in general. I also began to have debilitating physical illnesses (fever, whole body pain, for weeks at a time). It only began to dissipate once my then-boyfriend (now husband) and I left the poly situation and committed to one another and I could find a home-base so-to-speak that allowed me to thrive and become healthy again. He is also freakishly good at being calm and measured in the face of stress, so he was the only person who could help alleviate and talk me off the ledge of panic attacks and anxiety attacks. God's design for relationships exists for a good reason, and it's something us mortals should follow to the tee.
@@myco_enthusiast If you don't want to answer this it's fine, but how did your husband cope with all this? I don't see myself as someone who could continue a relationship if my partner wanted to go down such a route. Did he also participate or just waited it out until you came to your senses?
I don't have a wife/girlfriend and constantly hearing stories about women leaving good men often puts me off from searching. I'm just trying to get a grip on the psychology of it, in order to better prepare myself if such a situation occurs to me.
@@IphigeniaAtAulis he was insanely patient. We were dating, casually at first, and when he realized he couldn't continue without being no. 1 in my life, he was clear about it and honest. He saw my heart and not just the façade of the "free spirit" polyamory nonsense, so he was willing to give me some time. Lots of tears and fear of the potential of losing him and I shifted gears. I made him my "primary" and the other guy got very upset about that. So the problem fixed itself, essentially. I left the other guy shortly thereafter and committed just to my husband.
Having one partner is hard enough, but no, some people need to make it more complicated.
I feel so bad for that woman who has just been forced to accept her husband cheating on her
I know divorce is hard but she should really just leave before her misery makes her bubble herself.
Accepting your husband cheating on you is how it was "traditionally" done for decades on decades in this country. At least these women are trying to find an open way to deal with it vs 50s women just turning the other cheek.
@@sarahwilliams4092Both should shame the men and leave.
There is no such thing as forced to accept anything. You either accept it or you don't. It comes with the territory of being in a relationship with certain types of men. Women have always known this, and they still know it today. There was a reason fathers used to tell their daughters to stay away from musician types. If you get involved with a rock star or professional athlete, you can be guaranteed that he is going to exercise his options and see other girls. Just watch any man on the street interview with women. They are often asked which they would choose, a normal guy who is good and faithful, or a wealthy scoundrel that will neither be good or faithful. These women always choose the money and the drama, not the good, normal men. Most women today would rather be a man's concubine than his queen, so they deserve exactly what they are getting.
@sarahwilliams4092 or maybe in the age of 2024 with so much free information at our fingertips, we could start learning how to find a good healthy partner who likely won't be a cheater, instead of resorting to those two foolish alternatives!!??🤷♀️🤷♀️
I was taking a medical course and they were talking about risk for serious STDs and why we test for these annually in most adults. something they said really stuck with me. Most people in the US are not really monogamous. Most people have serial “monogamous” sexual relationships (ie you have your one true love then break up, then you find your new one true love, then break up, etc), which is a form of polygamy. The only true monogamous relationship (and thus has low to no risk of STDs and would not require as frequent std tests) is a person who only has one sexual partner for their whole life. This was used to show why annual STD tests for Americans is part of a wellness visit, because when people say they are monogamous, most mean this “serial monogamy”, not true monogamy.
Edit: the medical course I took was aimed at a community with high std rates. I’m not a do or md, so I just took it as a fact when they said “Americans should be tested for stds with each wellness visit”. Several comments below have pointed out that it’s recommended after each partner change in other places in America, which makes more sense to me honestly. Either way, I think the point made about serial monogamy still stands and it really has changed my view of romantic relationships. Thank you to everyone who pointed out the discrepancy, I learned something new 😊
bravo on this one
The purists form some luck to guys that actually get it 😐
I’ve only been with my husband. He’s only been with me. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
Your comment is 100. People talk about the good old days, but people didn't necessary practice what they preach. For example, people were more religious back than, but prostitution was very prevalent when the internet didn't exist. My point is that we were always messed up, but the internet is exposing it. What we see today had ALWAYS been this way, but people don't want to hear it.
I'm not aware of annual STD test for Americans...what inane location do you live in?
There will be people who will speed run miserary with this guide.
Exactly!! If you watch PolyTikToks from a year ago, with 2+ smiling people, then fast forward to today & one of them is sobbing as they tell us they never wanted it, lied to themselves & were miserable. 🤦♀️
I did the polyamory thing for a few years almost a decade ago and I've been seeing more and more of it the last few years.
It's just cope, I had to grow out of it, it's not a sustainable thing if you value yourself.
A woman I know at work is married to another woman, and I recently overheard her talking with some coworkers about how a different woman outside of her relationship is taking her out on a date, and how excited she was. She said her wife knows about it. I was honestly so saddened 💔
"people in non-monogamous relationships that didn't already fail report high satisfaction"
Yep you spotted it mate. Textbook case of survivorship bias
You can be satisfied and still be unhappy in general.
There’s always a group within a group💀
That's what instinctively keeps me away from polyamory. Even without thinking about the moral side of things, you just know that you'll have to compete for the woman's attention if it's 2 men 1 woman. If it's 2 women 1 man and you're the man then it would be the women having to compete and would you really want to force someone you love to compete for you?
It's an express route to psychopathy
@@captainclarky5352 DUNCE
@@belezadepaul dude, chill. At least give a proper argument rather than insults
@@dragonsman4733 I gave it in the other comments. It's never 2/x men 1 woman unless you're a bisexual man and she herself is looking for a harem. If you somehow are straight and were first in a relationship with that woman and got her into that situation, you fucked up, I guess you can live with bisexual men and her and just not participate in the orgies. On the other hand, when it's 2/x women 1 man it's simply natural, it makes sense, it's all there. It's not weird from a masculine/social point of view either, like the first situation was, and no one fights over you like that guy said. It's hierarchical, they can both be first place if you want, and 3,4,x will be runner ups in a sense. Doesn't mean you don't love them, or treat them equally/divinely, and appreciate their presence and it's perfect. But if you had to choose, there's no competition between them, it's all settled, it's all chill, it's all good, it's all love. ❤️
@@captainclarky5352Women leave guys they don't have to compete for. In their minds it signals "low value".
An “open relationship” is not a relationship, it is people having a “fun” experience together. Relationships for intimacy are another thing altogether.
I tend to judge things only as I've seen and experienced them.
Every, I mean, EVERY poly relationship I've seen or known of personally through people I know has LOADS of drama, so glad I was immediately and utterly repulsed by the very idea.
no only that for milenia or centurys monogamy has reingend supreme if poly relationship were better wont they be the norm
@@diegolopesme yep. Traditions worked and were put in place for a reason.
I’ve done it. A number of different ways.
Don’t do it. It never works out, and it cracks everyone involved.
What in the upside down pineapple.
It's a sign that the person/couple is a swinger.
I think people are just getting desperate for a relationship and are willing to settle for whatever they can get
In terms of the first point about homeschoolers, I have been a History professor for 27 years and my best students were homeschooled. A couple weeks ago I made a video explaining why they are better college students.
I was homeschooled and will be a senior in college this fall, and I never had any problems with the transition or noticed any huge difference I have from public schoolers. The only ‘weird’ homeschoolers I know are from ultra-strict households, very religious and geographically isolated from others, which really messes up their social development, but most of us are pretty normal.
@wilhelmbuzzkyll yep, from all my years in the classroom I have noticed homeschoolers are very well adjusted
@@HistoryfortheAges name me one homeschooled nobel prize winner or just a good inventor.
@@theforsakeen177 You can literally put that in any search engine and you will find scores of inventors, successful business owners, and many others amazing achievements by homeschoolers. Heck you are commenting on a site with a women who is under 30 and more successful than most people will be in their entire lives. She was homeschooled.
@@theforsakeen177Thomas Edison the creator of the lightbulb, the creator of the First Camera ever made. Changed the world. Homeschooled by his mother.
Abraham Lincoln was homeschooled his entire life, the Emancipation Proclaimation was signed by him that freed slaves.
Soichiro Honda, Creator of the Honda Automotobile Company was homeschooled his entire life.
Colonel Harland Sanders started Kentucky Fried Chicken, etc.
“ monogamy is not normal “
2,000 years of human history “ you sure about that “
@ClaudiaM-om4em you aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed are you ?
@ClaudiaM-om4em yes , a civilization in which one man and one woman are loyal to each other. Do you not know what the word monogamy means ? How about traditional? What are you even arguing for fool ? You’ve just proven my point.
I remember someone once claiming, "You can't come up with any reasons against polyamory that isn't moral or religious." Oh boy... I regret not replying to that comment.
They put the blame on whoever doesn’t feel comfortable for not being secure enough to handle it. If you feel insecure in an open relationship, it’s because the relationship is not secure.
Another example of when the "experts" were hired to decimate traditional and genuine human norms. Horrible
Keep preaching the truth, Brett!!! ❤
I would wager that the term “non-monogamy” is used specifically to avoid calling it “polygamy” so it doesn’t conjure that same guttural feeling, even though they’re synonymous.
“Ethical non-monogamy” is polygamy dressed in a trench coat so it can feel different from the religious people it hates while doing exactly what they’re doing.
Polyamory**
Polygamy means one man with many partners
Polyandry is one woman with many partners
Polyamory isn't gender specific
All terms refer to a non-monogamous relationship
@@the_channel_with_no_namepolygamy deals with marriage actually, polyamory deals with lovers.
@@the_channel_with_no_nameactually one man with multiple women is polygyny. Polygamy and polyamory is the same thing except the latter is lovers and the former is in marriage
Ethical non-monogamy is an umbrella term for non-traditionally exclusive, monogamous relationships. For example most of my friends who are couples have open monogamous relationships, where they have conditions where they are allowed to sleep with other people, but can only be romantically involved with one another. This is a form of ENM. Polyamory refers to relationships where there are multiple romantic partners, not just sexual partners. Polyamory and Ethical non-monogamy are not synonymous.
Non-monogamy is an umbrella term which includes polygamy, polygyny, polyandry, and polyamory.
This is one of very few topics where I am absolutely certain that this is 100% wrong in all cases. I have never seen a single example of this working, every single explanation I've ever heard has sounded like the person is trying to convince themselves, not me. I've seen it end in misery more than once in my own social circles, and any instance that is supposedly "working" is just a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I'm pretty comfortable saying that this is always the wrong answer and that it isn't just "different strokes for different folks", it is objectively wrong for everyone on Earth.
Look closely at all sexually immoral relationships and you find the same thing. Nobody ever dies old and happy in these relationships except the ones you hear people tell stories about to fool other people into accepting it as normal.
Muslim countries. Also entire humanity before VII century or so. You guys are just modernists
I'm pretty sure it's a matter of who you know and who your friends are. I'm gay, and a leftist, and the majority of my friends are ethically non-monogamous. I know two gay couples in exclusive monogamous relationships - one is in couples therapy because one ended up cheating, the other couple is two months in.
But I have friends who are a poly couple who are super successful and have been married 17 years. You might just not be in social circles where these kinds of relationships are common and acceptable.
@Fennerrex exactly I have close friends that have had an open relationship for over 10 years. They are the happiest couple I have ever met. It works for them so why judge two people when they both agree to something and they are both happy?
@@manicmind47 Lol yeah okay we'll see where they are down the road. I've heard this exact argument countless times and it's always a cope. I'll believe it when I see it.
My brother is in a poly relationship and he shamed me because i thought it was wrong
Pray for him please 🙏🏼
@@SimpLeeJihadi he married her 🤦
I worked with a guy who was home-schooled. He pointed out home-schoolers have a higher rate of college acceptance.
once you normalized something that was supposed to be taboo/evil, it becomes a habit. To the point, where u don't even know the difference between what's morally right or wrong.Free will was given to humans , that every choice that they make is more on desire.As every year passes by, it also worsens.The gift of love, gets reducted to lust. And every living being's soul is in drought.
WORD Amen to that
Be very careful with dots in comments, you may hyperlink your text to shady websites
" we're living in a weird age" sadly, I'll never understand the odd mindset of people doing that poly / open relationships
Weird
that's because you're a close minded person
I could never understand monogamy. The first time my Dad told me people choose one person to marry, at about age 3, I remember telling him that sounded stupid. He said I would understand someday. I never have. My body count is about 250 and I've never met or witnessed a woman I'd take as my sole partner for life. No matter who I was stuck with, I'd view it as being stuck with them. I have no desire to have sex with any woman I have had sex with over a year ago, which means I never get back together with an ex, and I never have. Monogamy to me is stupid behavior. To each their own I say.
@ceciazurin8304 what a morbid way to define love
@@Dave_of_Mordorthis is the agape love
There is nothing in the middle. You are either with 1 person or you are with more than 1 person.
The thing that’s always missing from the “studies” on these lifestyle is the people who aren’t in the lifestyle after it wrecked their relationship.
I feel bad for absolutely none of these idiots
Dudes be cool with swinging or poly until somebody gives it to your girl better than you. Then that relationship is cooked. John "I'm a minority victim" Leguziamo showed this in the movie, Son of Sam.
Wasn't his wife / girlfriend in that movie like so much taller than him?
@@Rick_Cleland She was at least as tall as him. That whole movie was a trip, but I remembered that scene because he was cheating on his chick the whole time and then got mad when another gave it to his wife better than him.
Just say you cant commit and want to cheat
Granite these people have no rules when it comes to their poly but they are ground rules you should have in any relationship like that second it is not cheating if the other person knows about it how can you call something cheating if you know the other person has another girlfriend or wife that's not cheating a monogamy is relatively a new thing Poly really old
@@trublacking8572Since Adam and Eve, humans have been paired up.
@@BlueDauntless lol what about all the guys in the old testament who had many wives?
Ruff Greens is SUPER EXPENSIVE!!!
It's goated tho
All of these paid advertisements are super expensive.
To quote someone "tradition is just an experiment that worked"
It's sad I remember telling people that I want to grow up and be a wife and a stay at home mother, and they would tell me to set my goals a little higher in life, now I'm a wife and a mother and for me that's the highest goal I could ever achieve I love it!! We need to be more encouraging to young women who want to be mothers instead of tearing them down.
I'm a woman. I have my thoughts. This type of relationship reminds me of Warren Jeffs, who has 87+ wives. I'm not kidding.
Wow, that's a lot of wives. Props to him
thats not a poly relationship. thats just 87 women wanting CHAD and so they all share chad. jeff is not caring if they "cheat" because he got enough.
that still happens but most women dont wanna share the rich guy. brat pitt or jhonny depp would have over 100+ wifes if they wanted to but none of those would be loyal.
those 87 women aren't loyal to jeff just to what he can give them.
…most of those wives he forced to marry him and were under the age of 18. his youngest wife was 12 😔
@@sabreenahrochelle3989 yes(not forced, they voluntarily agreed to marry), and I see no problem with that. I'm searching in these age brackets too, I'm traditionalist
@@sabreenahrochelle3989 1)they agreed
2)age is ok
Wait, if you have an open relationship, then why have a relationship at all, crazy 🤪.
Every depraved thing that hits the mainstream today began brewing in the dark on tumblr and in fanfiction 10-15 years ago.
Hey don’t go bringing fanfiction into this 😭
Lol. I guess you've never actually read a history book.
Polygamy isn't a new tumblr thing.
In ancient China, Assyria, Persia and Egypt, rulers had massive harems.
And for a more modern example... Mormons, or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, founded in 1820, were big on having multiple wives. Joseph Smith had like 40.
Correct on all of those examples of polygamy, but none of those examples are something popular culture is influenced by today like it is influenced by the internet. Internet communities make polygamy seem rosy and romantic and feasible and healthy. Nearly all of the historic examples you listed have a long documented history of misery for (typically) the women in the relationship, as well as society at large.
Tumblr was the asylum of the internet.
“It is time, my friends, to be traditionally untraditional.”
Exactly how I feel
I'm not proud of this, this occurred at a very sad time in my life. But I "dated" a woman who was polyamorous once. I never met anyone else she was dating, and we would hang out about twice a week. I hope this lifestyle does not become a trend, because a monogamous relationship is so much better. But I like to remember weird ideologues are human too, and I like to be honest about my own mistakes and tribulations. This woman was kind and fun and had a very positive effect on my life at a time when I desperately needed it. But I guess I was the side piece; the real victim of the polyamory was the "main" boyfriend, if there even was one.
thanks for sharing, God Bless you for being genuine and trying to stay True
We all make mistakes. It’s what we do after that matters.
thanks for being a genuine person in these comments
Remember when traditional thinkers brought up the issue of polygamy in regards to gay marriage and were shouted down?
Pepperidge Farms remembers...
Polygamy is not the same thing as polyamory. Polygamy is one man, multiple wives. Polyamory is both partners having multiple partners.
@@PuddilyOops That's pretty much a distinction without a difference. How long before polyamorous groups start demanding group marriages? After all, isn't "love is love" the new standard thanks to Obergefell?
You ain't kidding. In college, I pointed out how the excuse that 'Love is Love' was a poor argument for gay marriage because then why couldn't I marry two women. All the people I was talking about this with said I was being ridiculous and it was a slippery slope fallacy. It only a shame none of them probably remember that conversation now, because I would definitely say I told you so to them.
@@IphigeniaAtAuliswhat does gay marriage has to do with polyamory?
@@sayantanpaul5947 Reread what I wrote. It wasn't gay marriage but the argument they were using ("Love is Love") that was the problem. A better argument would have been that the government shouldn't be involving itself in private contracts between adult individuals. Mind you, that still leaves open the door for group marriages, but at least no one can argue for the right to marry their dog.
Edit: meant shouldn't.
Insanity.
Love how no one has even finished this video yet 😂
Fr tho, like I just got here 😂
Speak for yourself! I’ve watched it twice already… 😈
Fr
Still nobody has, your about 7 minutes out
It's a good one.
Having grown up in Utah, I had to deal with jokes and jibes about polygamy regularly, even though it’s been illegal for almost 130 years. These people are the same people who would make those jibes, so they don’t just get to pretend that it’s okay now because they want to feel justified in sleeping around.
By the way, I was soo happy with my husband being by my side always during the process of me being pregnant. I will never ever forget his support and his patience.
How about letting people just live their lives?
Live and let live doesn't mean you can't warn people against making bad decisions.
bad decisions are bad no arguing against that and stopping people from making bad decision is good no arguing against that
Being poly is worse than being an incel
😂
Pls what's your definition of incel
Nah both are as awful
@@attah-odejohogwu9357 i will argue that being poly makes you being rightfully not human poly makes you either multiple people in a body or a hive mind
@@diegolopesme 💀
As soon as one partner ask for a open relationship, there either cheating or have picked someone or several someone's to have sex with when you say yes. End your relationship immediately because its over.
I mean, they could also be insecure and hoping that offering you a "pass" will keep you with them. Still a sign your relationship isn't healthy, though.
They all usually have a "look." I feel like most people will know what I mean.
Overweight or ugly or both tbh from what I've seen
Unattractive and/or People of Size?
My family is Nigerian, and many of my older relatives had poly relationships. All I've ever heard were the calamities and conflicts that resulted. These people are jumping off cliffs to disprove gravity.
Not with Latinos. We don’t play that.
you blokes all about that family, bruv. I can jazz with that.
yeah you are... where i live, i'm surrounded by you guys so i know you're full of it
Viva familia!!! That's how our kids and elders live so long. We know poly is caca
Respect!!!💚💚
Same
I watch Say Yes To The Dress and yesterday I saw a episode where when the bride-to-be introduced her fiancé she then pointed to a woman next to her fiancé and said and this is my fiancé’s wife. Not an ex-wife, but his current wife. She is marrying a already married man. The consultants face was so confused, then so she didn’t anger the mob, she plastered a smile on her face and went along with it.
The pool of people in polyland is fairly awful
I used to do poly relationships. They were the most abusive, stressful 'relationships' I've ever been in. Now in a monogamous relationship with someone who wasn't involved in that scenario at the time, I feel much happier and more decisive on the future. These facts are really relatable to my past situation. I was confused on who to be with, so instead of ending things, came up with that compromise and it made both guys toxic and jealous of one another. Additionally, one would usually be abusive and the other would try to soothe me, or both would be abusive. Becoming monogamous again was one of the best decisions of my life because now I know the boundaries for healthy relationships. I know I dont need someone I'm romantically involved with to be my therapist, theres more trust, theres no stress when you have a pregnancy scare because its either you're sleeping with the guy you're with, or no one at all and you're just late. God bless
As soon as I heard the word "healthy" I knew I was about to get some Ruff Greens. I'm on to you, Brett.
They wanna be the “cool person who does poly😮😮😮😮” 😂😂😂
bet you're jealous lol
@@Dave_of_MordorYeah honey I don't think anyone is jealous of indecisive freaks/cheats who only care about themselves and their own lustful needs to be with every person they come across and just an excuse to cheat and are selfish and can't just stick to one girl or boy like come on now. Why would anyone be jelly of all that? Are you fr? 😂😑
@@Dave_of_Mordorbet you have the lover’s pox
@@Dave_of_Mordor nope they are right polygomy is bad if it was not bad then it would be more historycally accepted
@@diegolopesme if we're going by your logic, then wouldn't that mean everything else you're enjoying now is "bad" because they weren't historically accepted? voting for your leaders and woman right...are you saying these are bad things because they weren't accepted back then?
This reminds me of the kid (a they/them) who tried to set up SEVERAL poly relationships. They were miserable. EDIT: This was in 7th grade.
Feels like it's the next step in the extinction plan. First the push to reduce the dating pool to only the very top few. Second, convince those few can participate into 'absorbing' more partners from the pool.
Good comment
People want to cheat without cheating…
Compare two scenarios:
1.) You tell your spouse that you want them to be polyamorous, but they say: “No! I only have love for you.”
2.) You tell your spouse that you want them to be monogamous, but they say: “No! I love others just as much if not more than you.”
If love doesn’t make you feel special, then it’s not love.
15% of the woeld is monogamous.... gues what nations have prospered the most? The 15% that had monogamy as a foundation for generations.
Ain’t no generations of monogamous
15? Where did you pull that stat from😊
That's not the reason for prosperity though, location, luck, war, etc. had a lot to do with it.
All sins are essentially the same at the core; they are thrilling and exciting in the moment to be a part of, but leave you empty and broken in the long run. And no matter how much you seek that rush again, and no matter how much you feed into that sin, it will never give you satisfaction. You'll want more, and more, and more, but it will never be enough. Poly relationships are this to a T; seeking more and more romantic partners, sexual encounters, and more romantic options, but never having that long-term satisfaction that comes from a good and healthy monomagous relationship.
This is not healthy to me
You know one size doesn't fit all. I don't understand why people keep trying to prove that. Neither one is perfect. If you have a healthy relationship while doing poly let it be.
I have YET to find a polyamory/non-monogamous relationship that actually works. They have nearly all ended in some kind of abuse and/or violence.
But it's never the polyamory/non-monogamous lifestyle that's the issue. They blame everything else because they want to prove that their parents weren't correct. 😒
I wonder how many people who support polyamory had parents with stable, loving marriages.
@@robertbusek30This is a study I’d be interested in.
@@robertbusek30 ooo good question! I'd be interested in that answer too 👀 thinking back on those i've known, they came from parents that were split and one of the parents turned to lgbt+ community while the other leaned more into religion. But I'm sure there is a range. Probably. Maybe.
@@JerrBaybEe I wonder if these people see polyamory as “more honest” because one or both of their parents were engaged in adultery.
@@robertbusek30 a fair question indeed. I hadn't thought about that before ❤️🩹
been stalking your page recently! thank you for another amazing upload❤
I did polyamory and it monumentally destroyed my 20's, and i regret it, i wish i hadn't given ex's permission to partner hop, and i wish i had've just been strong enough to just leave. TLDR save yourself the turmoil
It’s just occurred to me after watching countless Comments Sections..why is Brett wearing headphones 🎧
If I had a significant other who said they wanted to be in a poly relationship, I would say "Whatever it is, I don't want to know".
Then I'd pack my bags and leave.
In a perfect world - people who cheated on their spouse would be jailed - marriage is not a JOKE!