Why We Won't Raise Our Kids in Suburbia
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- Опубликовано: 5 июн 2022
- Of all the reasons why we moved to the Netherlands, the independence of children is probably the most important one.
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I originally made this video in the early days of my channel, back in 2020, but I became a lot better at making videos, and I was never really happy with the outcome of the first video I made on this topic. So I've done a re-make of this topic with a slightly shorter script, and a few more details of why we would never, ever want to raise our kids in suburbia.
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Additional Reading & References:
Worlds of Influence - Understanding What Shapes Child Well-being in Rich Countries
UNICEF
www.unicef.nl/files/Report%20...
Montreal pedestrian deaths at highest level in 6 years
globalnews.ca/news/5382380/mo...
Toronto appears to have hit a one-year high in pedestrian and cyclist fatalities
www.thestar.com/news/gta/2018...
Drivers are killing more pedestrians in Canada every year. Here's why: Michael's essay
www.cbc.ca/radio/sunday/the-s...
Pedestrian deaths hit 28-year high, and big vehicles and smartphones are to blame
www.cnbc.com/2019/02/28/pedes...
Arriving at school on a bicycle (Netherlands) [298]
Bicycle Dutch (RUclips)
• Arriving at school on ...
Cycling to school; Culemborg (Netherlands) [149]
Bicycle Dutch (RUclips)
• Cycling to school; Cul...
Very Superstitious: How Fact-Free Parenting Policies Rob Our Kids of Independence
5kids1condo.com/very-superstit...
Riding the first bus (5 mins) with kids on a rainy day
Adrian Crook (RUclips)
• Riding the first bus (...
Kids filing onto their second bus (25 mins) that goes directly to school
Adrian Crook (RUclips)
• Kids filing onto their...
We Won! Common Sense Prevails in ‘Bus Dad’ Case.
5kids1condo.com/we-won-common-...
COURT OF APPEAL FOR BRITISH COLUMBIA
Adrian Crook
The Director under the Child, Family and Community Service Act
Kids First Parent Association of Canada
www.bccourts.ca/jdb-txt/ca/20...
How did good parenting become a crime?
Maclean's
www.macleans.ca/society/how-d...
Florida mom arrested after 7-year-old son went to park alone
www.cbsnews.com/news/florida-...
S.C. mom's arrest over daughter alone in park sparks debate
www.cbsnews.com/news/south-ca...
Includes licensed stock footage from Getty Images
![Stroads are Ugly, Expensive, and Dangerous (and they're everywhere) [ST05]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ORzNZUeUHAM/mqdefault.jpg)
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A four year old in Japan has more independence than a fifteen year old in America.
same case in india. people realise how social life is important
Not to mention the soul-crushing guilt you feel when you ask your mom to drive you to a friend's house, only to overhear her complaining about how annoying it is later. It definitely gave me a complex about asking other people to do things for me.
Mine didn't bother to move it for a medical emergency (couldn't breathe). I win. Lol. Hard to gaf about them after that.
What's worse is when you're an adult without a car, no public transit options with personal responsibilities and need to get to work. Now THAT is what I call soul-crushing.
If you read this, check out Abraham Hicks. It's actually a woman who channels non-physical intelligence to explain law of attraction and how the universe really works. Even if you think that is dumb nonsense, you will love anything they have to say to parents about their children. Basically, parents screw us up with the idea that our behavior is the cause of their happiness or unhappiness, which is all wrong.
Wow I never heard that spoken out loud before and so never really realized how that had affected me until now, but that's so true..
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 There's always 911 for fire, medical or safety emergencies. Just pray you're not alone when you're unconscious.
"If kids cannot ride bike to school, I'm not having a kid there" should be a rule of thumb for everyone.
Well nowadays with all these E-Bikes going 20mph that shouldn't be a problem lol.
Cool what about rural farms that make up most of the united states. Cool make your kid bike 50+ miles to school. Or do you suggest that no one lives on farms, farmers shouldn't have kids, or what? You said "everyone" should live in a place where kids can bike to school. So what do you about people living in rural areas of the country.
@@RiseUpToYourAbility shut up
@@RiseUpToYourAbility They clearly didn't mean _literally_ everyone. Chill out.
If it were for that, there would be no children in Latin America.
Sincerely, a Latin American.
This is a big part of why there is such a huge mental health crisis among American youth. A whole couple generations now have been raised in sterile isolated environments where they’re completely dependent on the parent bc they have zero independence and overuse technology as a replacement for social interaction and entertainment bc that’s all they have. The consequences are severe and they are showing. On top of that the economy and price of college has made it so that it’s nearly impossible to become financially independent until your mid to late 20’s in many places. There will be no young adults with purchasing power, only abused sheltered suicidal teens and kids and the economy and society will feel that impact increasingly as the years progress. Children are constantly monitored and controlled here to the point that healthy social and physical development is impossible. Covid just threw gasoline on this dumpster fire too.
Every damn word you just said is so true.
I totally agree, I grew up with a certain level of independence in the early 80s just to watch that independence steeply drop off for everyone younger than me. By the time my younger brother (8 years younger) was about 5, you NEVER saw kids playing outside or riding bikes around.
@@bonanzajellybean4802 That sounds like a case specific to your geography, if you grew up in the early 80s and your brother is only 8 years younger than you then that means he would have grown up in the 90s, which was a time period where you always saw kids playing outside. I was born in 1992 (so I grew up mostly in the 2000s really) and you always saw all the kids playing outside.
This. This right here is the answer. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
I feel obligated to reply to this since my sister actually did commit suicide. We were raised in a walkable neighborhood in New York and later moved to Cupertino in the Bay Area, which similar to Amsterdam promotes a ton of biking and walking. She had severe issues in both these places. I'm not saying your point is bad, because isolation is definitely a factor in depression, but when you reach a certain level of mental illness a walkable city design does not affect it much.
Moreover, the mental health crisis in young adults did not exist twenty years ago, and did suburbanization emerge in the United States in just the last twenty years? No. We've been suburbanized for at least seventy years, but only know we have mental health problems.
We literally live in a society that does not want children to go outdoors but at the same time hate each other for being "coddled".
I think I suddenly understand where 4chan came from
The programming coming from the monopolized media is insane.
you can thank media fear mongering, we literally live in the safest times ever. Paranoia is at an all time high and that's more dangerous.
@@StealthGT40 but cars do post a legitimate threat to pedestrians right?
*insert joker meme*
This video gets at part of why the ‘college experience’ is so romanticized in the US. Kids haven’t been independent their whole lives, and when they are it’s mind-boggling.
This is a really good point, also why student loans are advantageous.
@@elwing07 if tuition fees weren't so ruinously expensive, you wouldn't need the loans and the resulting debt traps. People used to be able to fund themselves through college with some weekend and/or evening work and full time in between semesters.
and it explains why students seem to behave more and more toddler like.
Now college is so expensive that we can't even afford to go out and be on our own, shit, sometimes even after college it might be unrealistic.
@@EmyrDerfel yup, and people in actually developed countries get education for "free" (read; paid through shared tax). But nah, clearly the American governments think that it's better to shelter kids their whole lives and then at the first step of independence they are put into a life of debt. Makes total sense lmao. Taking advantage of people who are too young and inexperienced to know/do any better.
I lived in Seoul from birth to 12. I was such an active little kid. I walked to school, swimming lessons, and got on busses and subways to go to malls, theme parks, and other places without parents or adults. I moved with my family to a suburb in Pennsylvania and I hated living there. I couldn't go anywhere without being driven by an adult and even if I had someone to drive me somewhere, there weren't that many places to go. I've lived in the States for more than a decade and I still do not understand the obsession of nothing-ever-happens suburbia in North America. Why do a lot of Americans believe living far away from anything happening is safer and better?
As someone who's lived in the suburbs of America all my life, I can completely agree. I'm almost sixteen, and it's getting boring walking the same path around my neighborhood. I want to be able to explore, but there's nowhere to go.
its so interesting to hear this perspective. I'm 20 and I've grown up in NYC all my life and absolutely loathe a lot of the chaos, dirtiness, and danger that comes with living with a lot of people around. I'm always fantasizing about the suburbs
@@swizzledizzler9417 I guess there must be a good middle ground, right? Surely we can design walkable, liveable cities that are stimulating enough to have everything you need, whilst still being clean & low-density enough to not feel like you're living in a slum.
@@swizzledizzler9417 wish there was a middle ground dude
@@Okiedokie07 I believe there are. Suburbs close to cities do exist. And speaking of this topic, just the other day I was getting on the bus and some crack head wanted to stab me!! 🤦🏽♀️ Enjoy your peace!
@@swizzledizzler9417 Bro Id rather die than live in this purgatory
The whole "stranger in a white van" myth is so pervasive and harmful. Speaking as someone who actually was a victim of child abuse - the vast majority of abusers, including kidnappers, are people the children know (parents, teachers, coaches, clergy, etc), not random strangers in vans. And one of the best defences against child abuse is allowing children to be more independent. Kids who are self-assured and confident talking to strangers are more likely to ask someone for help when they need it, and are harder for an abuser to control or manipulate. Raising your kids to be dependent and isolated makes them more vulnerable.
These are really great points! Thank you.
Which isn't to say that there aren't risks allowing young children to roam a big city... but just about everything in life involves tradeoffs on some level.
@@invisiblehands4000 But like... giving a child a phone is basically giving them free-reign to go buck-wild on the Internet, in other words, it's pretty much the same thing as letting them roam the streets on their own, but in a digital world. It really astounds me that so many people have a problem with one or the other.
Kind of reminds me of that Dave Chappelle bit about Elizabeth Smart vs that streetwise black girl.
Judging by the Amber Alerts (missing children alerts) in Ontario over the last few years. The suspect is usually the other parent of the missing child. So child custody issues seem like a more likely cause for kidnapping than a white van approach.
That "sidewalk ends" sign is the distilled essence of how much the cities are made for cars
It clearly signals that driving is a "right" but walking is a "privilege" ironically for the unprivileged.
As in, "you can walk as far as here, no further" but if you can afford a car, you can go anywhere!
I've lived in Virginia, just outside of Washington D.C. for the last 15 years, and I can't even keep track of the number of times I've been walking or cycling only to find that whatever path I'm on simply ends. No warning. No explanation. No alternate route. I may have been walking on this sidewalk for 15 or 20 minutes without an offshoot, yet it'll just end. Now I'm supposed to backtrack 15 minutes & hunt for another path? I can't even imagine how hard it must be for people with mobility issues, considering how difficult it is for me.
@@matthewconstantine5015 That's really a pain. Wherever i've been in Europe, the sidewalks usually end where the city does and a field starts. But even then there's paths continuing. People shouldn't have to backtrack or god forbid walk on the car lanes to get where they want to go.
@@stefanvladescu7353 People shouldn't, yet there're foreigners walking along the Dutch highway on police vlogs sometimes, saying "that's normal in..." (I think it was Russia). Luckily it's very uncommon
I live in Winnipeg, and my area only got cleared of snow twice all winter. They managed to push all the snow from the streets onto the sidewalks/paths, so all the walking paths/sidewalks/etc. had literally 15+ feet of snow.
My only choice of getting around was walking down busy 60 km streets and hoping to not die.
Literally, this city wants to kill anyone who doesn't own a car. It's been 9 months for me without one, and it's happening 7 times now and I'm not like my odds...
Where I live I literally can’t go anywhere without a car and my parents are extremely overprotective yet they wonder why I spend all my free time watching RUclips and playing video games.
Honestly, show them this video. Ask them how they would feel if the only places they could go outside and play was the neighborhood you currently live in. It might open their eyes
I had the same in suburban UK as a child. Parents wouldn't let me do basically anything because "you aren't streetwise", but then complained I was asocial and spent too much time on my own playing video games and so on.
That has damaged me forever. I went into my university years largely socially underdeveloped, while my peers of identical age were all swaggering with confidence and picked up relationships and sexual partners easier than flagging down a taxi.
Even now I still prefer my own company and have some amount of social anxiety, I live 450 miles away for my job and every time I think about taking some annual leave, my parents are on my case about going to visit them.
Meanwhile my sister had no rules and boundaries at all. Parents didn't care and there was no attempt at reining her in or telling her off. What a difference - she knows absolutely everyone, goes on holidays to places Michael Palin has never heard of, was bringing boys home at 15 years old, was out all night only to meet my dad on the doorstep as he left for work in the morning, and this was all just seen as part of growing up. She has also been more successful in her career than me.
She has had to brutally cut down the guest list for her wedding next year (someone's capable of forming relationships) because it's not affordable or practical to have 200 people in attendance.
Moral of the story: be very careful about letting your children develop properly.
I was military police for the US Air Force and I got constant calls about kids playing in their own front yards unsupervised. Mind you we were on a small military base, which is an extremely safe place to live due to being the ultimate gated community.
My coworker was telling me a story where she sat on her front porch and sent her kid out to play on the park which was just across the street. She could see him play from the porch so he was safe, but a police officer still threatened her because she was "abandoning" her kid.
When I was younger I lived in base. I always thought where I lived was just a town where everyone could live lol
How did you respond?
@@antonnurwald5700 my response was usually to do a quick community patrol and if everything checked out I went back to what I was doing.
What comes after neurotic?
Me growing up in Germany: Getting sent to buy bread, groceries and juice at the age of 8 with my little brother who is only 6. That just seemed so normal to me. That's how we learned about the world around us.
Same in France, except I usually ate half of the bread on the way back, I was a very unreliable errand boy...
@@Pippin1505 I don't blame you. For me it was Croissants and freshly baked Brötchen. My mum figured it out and gave us a few Cents/Pfennig more so my brother and I could have a Croissants/Brötchen extra for on the way. Sourdough Bread always gets me too. XD
Same in Brazil
black children play outside and are very independent .. probably too independent 😂… as a kid growing up in Brooklyn, new york, in the 1990s… my parents let us stay out till 3 am… I know white people would call that neglect but thats the freedom we had. Now im married 16 years to my wife; we are college-educated and have two girls. We came out okay.
Same while growing up in Karachi but as I grew up, Karachi also developed the same car-dependent stuff so when we moved to a high end suburb, walking became a lot more difficult. Surprisingly, the two places I stayed in the US actually ARE walk-able and relatively affordable. Dearborn and Ann Arbor. Dearborn still has corner stores and schools and workplaces are a walk-able distance and path away from some areas like Shaffer road.
It's not so much a fear that someone will abduct your child, it's the fear that someone will call the police because they see children walking or playing without an adult. My neighbor was sick, and let her 9 year old walk to school by herself. It takes 4 minutes to walk to school, and we could see the school from our apartments. And someone stopped the girl and called the police. She ended up getting charged with neglect, and had to take a parenting class. It blew my mind, because she was a very loving and responsible person.
4 minutes!!! That is so surprising and sad. I wonder how we can swing the pendulum back towards a healthy medium. It's upsetting that responsible people can get overly punished due to bureaucratic policy.
@@AvitalShtap you can't push back meaningfully. the herd mentality has to change. and it has not in 70 years. there is no hope. it's simply time to leave and let it all rot and fall apart so in the future it can be redeveloped in 100 to 300 years from now
i walked to school when i was 9 wtf
Thats pretty fucked up I was commuting to school when I was 9
We need less big Gov and less karens.
I'm 15 and have been raised in america all my life. This video hits way too close to home. My house is on a stupid ass 2 lane stroad with no sidewalks where cars constantly go careening by at 30-50mph. I'm lucky enough to be near to a mixed-use establishment that's really nice, however to get there i have to walk in the ditch of my stroad. Hell, I feel like I'm going to get hit by a car when I'm taking trash cans to the street. Whenever someone gets pissy about "children these days never going outside" and doesn't realize why, it kills another 1% of my brain cells. American suburbia is hell on earth.
Amendment: Where I live, the requirement to start driving is only 14 years and 9 months. We are at the point where people would rather give 14 year olds giant metal death machines than make american suburbia more livable.
How do you suggest making suburbia more livable? I grew up in upstate NY, and things are so far apart from each other it doesn't make sense to walk anywhere. The reason I didn't walk to my friend's house is because it is a god damn 2 hour hike, and there isn't public transport to get me there. You can build sidewalks and bikelanes everywhere but the problem is that it takes too freaking long to walk anywhere because every thing is so far apart. What is your solution? Build everything closer together even though there is so much free land? People by nature want their own space. Put 5 strangers in an empty auditorium and they will spread themselves as far apart as possible. You don't sit next to or even 2 seat away from another person until you are constrained by the lack of space.
Very well articulated and I am sorry you are in this situation. On the bright side, being aware of the problem is the first step towards fixing it.
Where do u live?
@@yan7789 Michigan, not going to get any more specific.
@@RiseUpToYourAbility While I do agree that people by nature want space, in suburbia there is so much space being unused or misused. The downtown area of my town is probably about 20%-30% car parks in terms of land use, which is insane. We do have bus lines, however they have the same issues as many other bus lines in suburbia: spotty coverage and poor frequency. Even so, I don't think that an overuse of space is necessarily the issue here. In my opinion the issue is more a lack of mixed-use areas, which means that your ability to walk or bike to a coffee shop or a restaurant hinges on whether you get a house close to a commercial development (which are quite a bit more expensive). As well, I think the time required to bike could be greatly reduced if more bike-based infrastructure was built. Whenever I go biking in the more urban areas around here, quite a good portion of my time is making sure I don't get hit by a car when the painted bike gutter suddenly ends. Sure, cars are necessary for longer distance (10-20 mile) travel around here and that will probably not change for a long time, but I think that within suburban settlements it would be possible to convert many
When I was a kid everybody thought my mom was overprotective because she let me play alone in our fenced in backyard and every few minutes would call out to ask how I was doing to make sure I was okay. 1990s over protection has become 2020s neglect.
I don't blame parents tho, things got unaffordable and unsafe very fast
Pranay M, so you just totally didn't watch the video, right?
@@urbanistdad I did and I'm currently living in fake London
Yes, it doesn't feel very safe because in most of the city you're the only one on the street if you're walking or cycling, got expensive very fast
Though Canada have universal healthcare, just like every government service it is crappy and have super long wait times even for emergencies
Part of the problem is that we have fewer kids today, so we are more protective of them.
I remember being 15-16, just starting to drive, and my mom getting mad at me because I didn't know how to get anywhere in our small town without directions. I felt really stupid at the time, but until that point I had never been allowed to go anywhere except in the back seat of a car, so I had no reason to remember where anything was.
Damn, that hits hard
That's pretty dumb of her to not realize, to be honest.
This. I clearly remember when I was in the 6th grade, my mom picked me up from school and spoke to my teacher. My mom was making fun of me, saying I was 12 years old and didn't even know how to cut an apple properly. The teacher added to it and actually laughed in my face, echoing the same disbelief. I was so embarrassed, but my mom had never taught me how to cut an apple because she always did everything FOR me. It's disheartening when parents get mad or mean about their kids lacking a skill, when it's the direct result of the parent not adequately preparing them.
@@boneymacaroni13 If I remember correctly, she thought I should have looked out the window while we drove places and memorized the routes that way. And I did know generally where places like the post office or school were, just not the exact route. But she had one of those carefree 60s childhoods where she and her brothers were allowed to roam as they pleased, and she didn't understand how depriving a kid of that would change them as a person.
LITERALLY SAME OMGGG. Most annoying thing ever. Like, why would a passenger, a CHILD passenger, need a reason to pay attention to all the streets and stuff when they're not the one responsible to drive anywhere. It's a ridiculously stupid expectation to have and results in unfair comparisons
I love how they need a sign that says "sidewalk ends". As if we can't see that. As if they're trying to block us from continuing forward.
they are. I'm from that same city, and that sidewalk in particular ends right before VERY expensive new development begins. They are literally stopping you from walking into that neighborhood, because everyone who lives in there drives beemers and porches.
OMG!!!! You're here too! I love watching your content.😊😊😊
@@Fenthule exactly, the sign is more for those people driving the expensive cars than the people actually using the sidewalk.
What a funny coincidence, I'm sure they didn't do that for any... specific reasons....
Sidewalks are usually only required for new developments.
I don’t live in the US but this is practically my life. I’m one of those “sheltered” kids (i honestly really hate that title). I’m 15 and i’ve never been outside alone. i’ve never crossed the road alone. I’ve never went to a park alone. I’ve never hung out with my friends outside of school. I’ve never even bought ice cream from the store. I’ve never ridden a bike. I think this is one of the many reasons why I have social anxiety today. I get overwhelmed at crowds and I get nervous whenever I talk to strangers. And what’s worse is that most kids where I live have this freedom. most kids at my school have been outside alone, except for me. I’ve always felt so left out and I’m just so angry. my anxiety got so bad that I begged my mom to homeschool me instead. I feel like I’ve been robbed off my teenage years.
and now here i am, inside my room, staring at my ipad screen and reading books because i have no friends and i can’t go outside. I’m stuck in this cycle
This sounds like it's not your fault. Unfortunately, you may have to work hard in adulthood to deal with some things.
i'm 19 and i ain't much better man, but now i've got a job on top of it
@@moonlifeSW cars are not freedom, it's a forced purchase that disguises itself as an optional luxury
no matter what, in the US and Canada, you basically need to have a car because there is basically NOTHING ever in walking distance and there's no reliable public transit anymore
if you don't buy a car, you have to rely on taxis which gets expensive real fast, unreliable public transit, you have to spend hundreds, if not thousands on plane tickets if you want to travel even short trips because passenger trains are very rare in north america at this point
Freedom is being able to have everything within walking distance in streets where cars are rare or non existent, freedom is being able to walk out any time and not have to drive to the grocery store, just walk on board the street bus and it takes you right there
if you need to travel, 200$ you got yourself a ticket on a high speed train that takes you right there and there's public transit there too
if you need a car to get to where you want, just get a rental for the few days and take the train home again
that is Freedom.
Make a friend with a normal kid and learn. That's child abuse. Maybe someone within shouting distance, but not right there.
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 It’s really hard for me to make friends because I find it hard to keep friendships. I do have one friend from school but we barely talk anymore and I know she’ll also leave one day. As for child abuse.. i dont know. Maybe a little toxic, yes. But child abuse? I mean i kind of understand my mom. she’s just really overprotective with everyone around her, but sometimes it starts to aggravate me so much. I think she does all this because she wants to FEEL safe, even though there isn’t really a danger
7:39 this happened to my brother!! he was 7-8 i think and he was walking to a friend’s house that was maybe a block away, possibly less, and this lady walking her dog stopped him, brought him home and gave my cousin (the person taking care of him at the time, my parents were out of town) a “stern talking-to.” my brother cried and didn’t want to go to his friend’s house alone for a month or so. not bc he was scared of (non-existent) traffic in our neighborhood, or getting kidnapped, or whatever; he was scared of the lady telling him what to do
You need to do one on elderly loneliness. Every one says that "You'll want low density when you're older!" but, as someone that has worked with seniors, the happiest seniors were ones that lived in dense walkable communities.
E: I also want to add that as seniors grow old they tend to be forgotten, and its easier to forget them when they live in suburban sprawl isolation.
I partially grew up in a sprawling car dependent retirement community in Florida (Punta Gorda).
I have never seen such horrifying loneliness. Trapped by miles of asphalt with only the hope that a small fragment of the world will come to you because, in your final days, you are unable to come to it.
I live in Cleveland now (Lakewood), and the elderly are visibly happier because of their ability to more easily participate in the outside world. They can walk or take public transit to get groceries, go to the park, attend doctor appointments, and most importantly, maintain social connections.
My father (76) looks for any excuse to come visit me to enjoy the amenities that density provides. In all his praise for my neighborhood he will in the same breath objurgate "the city" and how he "needs his space". Somewhat Ironic considering that the rural Ohio town we moved from was significantly more walkable.
You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink, unfortunately.
We owe a better world not just to our children but to our elders as they enter old age.
If that is not enough to convince you... one day you will be old... that loneliness could be your future.
Yes, absolutely, especially when they get a diagnosis from their doctor that says they are no longer fit to drive.
thinking of seniors living alone in single family homes makes me so depressed. Can't believe that's normalized in North America
Ha! the least thing I would want when I am older is not having a farmacy nearby
@@GalladofBales I would want to live alone in a whole house when I am old. Or now. Not in the suburb, somewhere in nature, maybe where our summer house is now. Maybe have some pets as well. Walk in the woods every day.
But then I am among 1% of most introverted people in the world. (And a misanthrope)
I am in my seventies. Most of my contact with other people comes when I walk or pedal to the post office or bank or market. One of the reasons I chose to retire to this tiny town was that I wouldn't need one of those yucky motor vehicles.
Your comment made me think about how fun running errands is when you can smile and wave to everyone and even stop to chat.
I'm from the UK and I never knew about this issue until I moved to the US. Sidewalks ending randomly and people staring at me as I walked down the road from their cars. "Oh, he must have lost his licence or he's too broke" etc.. Utterly insane.
Best bit about Buses,Trams and Trains is being able to use your phone or read
@@oscarosullivan4513 This makes everyone safer. Rather than have a bunch of distracted drivers, why not have a bunch of distracted passengers!
@@CoronaryArteryDisease. Your not controlling the vehicle
@@CoronaryArteryDisease. lol the fact that tesla has to laid off staff at singapore tho..it means mass transport is better and public said tesla its just "lifestyle" for them😄
@@oscarosullivan4513 never have I ever got into a bus accident in my 20 years or daily use pretty much
Having been raised in a European medium sized city, hearing about all this is completely mind blowing to me. It's madness. I feel sorry for the children that have to grow up under constant watch by basically "big brother" parents.
Imagine being a young adult trying to work and afford life here. My biggest goal in life is to eventually leave the United States for good. I hate it here.
Keep in mind this video is VERY over-generalized, and there are MANY examples of great U.S. suburbs. Growing up in one, and now living on my own in a different one; I can't relate to this video at all. Very subjective.
@@7urbine I would be inclined to disagree. If you're already able to make it work with a car and whatever, sure. In the four states I've lived in only one had suburbs with stores anywhere nearby.
I wouldn't call this video generalized at all.
Welcome to America :)
where Freedumb is never really free...
We lived in a small university town in Germany for a few years. My daughter was nine. After school, she and her friends would get on a bus, go to cafes, the gummi-bear shop, and elsewhere all on their own. Once we returned to the US, my daughter felt imprisoned as she could go nowhere on her own without me driving her. Nine years on, we both would like to return to Europe. It has a better lifestyle.
It's kind of funny because there are a ton of movies that show kids going out on their own, having adventures going to school, etc... but then you think about how improbable that concept actually is. It looks like Hollywood hasn't caught up with the times lol
ikr i wanna be like tht
I never was and im 15
They’re drawing from the way it “used to be”. I grew up in the 60’s & 70’s. I was never home. My friends and I were riding bikes to school (quite a ways) or walking. We were out from morning till night and all weekend, without a parent in sight. Best time of my life.
@@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888 same i’m fifteen and i’ve never even went to the mall with my friends. heck i’ve never even crossed the road alone
@@yeet8627 ask ur mom if u can!
@@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888 i’ve never been to a mall or anywhere else with my friends because she said no
oh wow. Being from europe not knowing about the rules across the pond. This topic started with what i mostly already knew and then turned scary really quickly. The story about the dad and his bus driving children gave me chills.
Even as an American it’s crazy to hear it laid out like this. Partially because I know that it’s crazy and we should just build a better system, but also because that knee jerk reaction of “why is that kid alone?!?!?” Is definitely built into my own mind as well.
Yeah its crazy, here in Norway i started to ride my bike to school alone when i was 7. Its completely normal here and this is a small town of 3000 people...
Spent many years in Canada. At First it seemed wonderful. After some time I realized how much of a dictatorship it is. Left when I was told that if a doctor diagnoses your child with an ilness, you are mandated to follow their treatment. There is no other choice, if you do not comply, your children are taken away. Scarry. One thing I will say, I met some wonderful Canadians.
I live in Brisbane, Australia and the buses here are borderline uninhabitable at 3pm because of sheer volume of school students on them. The fact that the man was threatened to have his children taken away from him for letting them ride the bus is wild (and terrifying) to me. I am studying a bachelor of education and when I was on my last internship I would see tons of students walking home and taking public transport like I did. I don't think Brisbane is an especially walkable city in its design, but public transport is pretty alright and from a social perspective I think it is much more normal for students to make their own way to school here than in America. I always see students walking to the bus station when I'm on my way to a morning class at university. I think it's strange that parents think that their children lack independence but never giving them a chance to develop any.
@@amorwasi6034 Canada has gotten very scary indeed, they are being sold out even harder than in the U.S. and it's very sad.
F that "its dangerous for kids to go outside" hysteria. One of my friends was raised by parents who believed this and her growth was totally stunted, and now shes convinced that there are people malicously targeting here wherever she goes. Its heartbreaking. I have other friends that were raised in the same general area and were encouraged to go out on their own from a young age and interact with (unsuspicious) strangers, and they are now bold, socially functional, happy adults. Suburban sheltering is a disease!
I love walking to the grocery store and back with my kids (even though we have cars). Well meaning people always stop and ask if we are ok or if we need a ride or to tell me that it is too hot for kids outside ...it makes me self conscious and sad.
Too hot? God forbid the kids get some Vitamin D. 😂
I live in Brazil, if we didn't do something because it's too hot, we'd still be in the year 1500.
God this is terrible.
I spent seven years in a small town in Oregon that still had a walkable central business district, even though it was sprawling on the edges with typical suburban development. I used to walk places for exercise, and invariably, someone I knew would pull up next to me and ask if I needed a ride.
@@seilahqlq1 haha! Exactly, I always tell my kids that getting sun will keep away the rickets!
@@pdxtran exactly yes, I live in Seattle and although mainly walkable, I noticed last year I was overweight for taking the bus everyday and realized it's only a 30 minute walk to and from work, but still my coworkers were concerned about me walking home at 6pm at night, LOL. I still walk everywhere in seattle and still overweight, but now realized that eating potato chips and ice cream is what has been killing me. Haha, America is crazy.
As a kid, I hated having to be driven everywhere by my parents. Everything was too far, there were no sidewalks, and there were not many other children near us anyway. I used to beg my parents to move us somewhere where I could walk to school. Anyone who says suburbs are "great for kids" has never been a kid in (post-1960s, super sprawly) suburbia.
I grew up in the suburbs and rode my bike as did many many other kids - never had issues. It is almost like not everyone has the same experiences. There are tons of areas this fam could have gone in Canada or the states and expirienced what they were looking for. They wanted to go there which is fine but decided to make a nonsense video to justify their choices.
I grew up in Boise, the city must've been better designed than most because I never felt like things were bad.
I mean, it's still an American city so it's not perfect, but certainly better than most it seems.
I hated where I grew up; a suburb accessible from a highway with no side walks, no parks and no place to gather.
As an adult, I’m one of those a people who paid too much to be in one of the few walkable neighbourhood built a century ago, as he referenced. I am thrilled to be able to give my kids the childhood I wasn’t able to have
When I was a kid in late 90's early 00's suburbia, I greatly enjoyed it. Of course, I was fortunate to live in a neighborhood that had a complete sidewalk system and not too much traffic, so I know my experience isn't universal.
@@jbrook4526 i live in pretty much the same situation and I hope that if I have kids of my own i can give them a good walkable life
Car dependent suburbia was a major culture shock for me as a European when I was living with a host family in the US. I had always gone to school by myself, even to kindergarten actually, because we lived about two minutes away from the kindergarten. When I started high school, I got a season ticket for the public transport in our region because I had to take the train to school, therefore I was used to getting around by myself. In the US, I couldn't go anywhere by myself and I didn't really want to ask anyone to drive me either. It felt like a prison. I remember that before I left for the US, like so many teens in my country, I felt envious of American teens because they could get their driver's license at 16 while we had to wait until we were 18 but once I spent some time in the US, I started to understand why that is and it's really nothing to be envious of.
Same here. Was an exchange student too. Some people joke about Americans not having a culture -- this is not so, because there is one consequential characteristic that does indeed define the American culture, the prison lifestyle, to use your well-chosen term. I described it as living on Mars: you move in a pod between either indoor spaces or designated outdoor spaces.
People go to parks in the suburbs
@@xy4489 haha that explains why wealthy Americans like Musk think it's a good idea to try to terraform Mars
@@xy4489 Delusional Europeans...
Even with a license and car at 21, I'm still trapped. Loitering, early closing times, everything costing too much money for a basic night out... Soul crushing.
When I was a kid growing up in Australia. The only rule I had was to be home by the time the street lights came on.
I had that in the Netherlands. It's funny how parents from different countries make the same rules for their children.
@@brozius Yep, me too, 21.00 was the exact time those light went on.
then adults wonder why so many kids nowadays have mental illnesses. idk if there are any studies that look into the correlation of kids mental health and city planning but it would make so much sense. having no independence, no time to explore, problem solve, socialize, etc by yourself as a child has to be so detrimental. genz and younger millennials have such a hard time making that transition into adulthood and making decisions on their own because they grew up CONSTANTLY depending on their parents. its no fucking wonder. watching this video made me realize how truely isolating that lifestyle is. i rarely went out and saw my friends before the age of 16. id sit at my computer and talk to people online, that was my only source of socializing. then fast forward to me in my mid-twenties and i STRUGGLE with social situations, meeting new people, and going out of my comfort shelf because being by myself was what was I was comfortable with. I grew up in an area that was brutally hot too so going out during summer was no joke. that shit takes a toll on your confidence and in kids that is detrimental. its really sad to think about.
good on you guys for moving for your kids and giving them the oppurtunity to grow up in a city where they can have fun safely on their own. i would have given anything to go on adventures outdoors as a kid like they did in the cartoons :')
This really makes me appreciate my childhood a lot more.
Being Dutch I had several friends right around the corner, we'd just go play outside without a care in the world.
Past age 10 we'd also go to local parks, soccer fields and much more, often times only a short run or bike ride away from home.
Walking in American cities normally makes you feel like an escaped zoo animal-- you're someplace that's not safe for you and you don't belong there. My city leaders once tried to get rid of an "outdated" outdoor walking mall and they met with fierce resistance.
Escaped zoo animal... damn, that one hits hard :(
Holy shit that describes it perfectly I always feel uneasy listening to the vehicles barrel past while traversing endless swaths of parking lot.
It's worse when you're on a college campus that has huge roads going in-between the buildings. The cars are bad enough, but on multiple occasions, women have crossed the busy roads to avoid walking towards me. I understand why they do it, but it hurts to feel so horribly unwelcome at school.
I am Dutch and this describes exactly what I felt walking there - unsafe and you don't belong, like you're doing something weird
@@soundboy89 yo, it's the few that anger, revolt, and remark about what they know is for real, as opposed to we the majority keeping it Real.
This also really hurts the disabled population. I’m blind. I cannot drive and often get rejected from rideshare due to having a guide dog. I usually have to depend on friends and family to go anywhere. I’m 30. I feel so isolated. I absolutely hate it. I’ve always wanted to move to either somewhere in Europe or Japan where I could be much more independent due to walkability and public transportation.
Dude that's terrible. I hope it gets better.
Wait a minute, if your blind how the heck did you text this? not hating or anything just asking lol. I’m guessing text to speech is probably the answer but I’m just wondering.
@@LegendCreations_MC Close! I use a screen reader. It uses a text to speech synthesiser to read what’s on the screen. On my computer I use keyboard commands instead of a mouse. On mobile it’s different hand gestures. You can play around with one yourself by activating Talkback on Android or VoiceOver on iOS. Hope that helps!
@@Koda_Grey Alright thanks man just wanting to clear that up, must be a pain man sorry to hear that.
@Koda Grey Europe is much much worse for the disabled. They do not have anything like the ADA that we have in the US. European counties are far older and have fewer regulations for the disabled, and are far denser too so it's harder for people in wheelchairs to get around. the US is by far the best place for a disabled person.
I live in one of the poorer parts of my city and I’ve noticed every single day there happy kids and young teenagers outside playing at the park enjoying life, but whenever I go to my parents house that live in a decently expensive part of the city there’s never any kids outside in the neighborhood except my nephew and his neighbor friend. It’s really interesting.
I remember being around 11 when my dad was scratching his head wondering why I wasn’t going outside. I was able to connect the dots because the first thing you encounter outside is asphalt. He wasn’t able to and it became a “problem” that was associated with me and naturally I blamed myself. I really want to go back and scream at myself “No, you’re right!” I get sad when I think about it.
This is the majority of the U.S. and the thought of it drove me to depression. Good thing millennials and later generations are making a stand
Children independence is extremely important and always overlooked. We are everyday turning into a society that takes more and more independence of children for the sake of "safety". Its really nice to find a channel like this.
@@FranklinK232 Yes. More government involvement in raising children is what we need.
@@FranklinK232 I agree that parents should allow their children to play outside. It's essential for growth and development. All im saying is that government intervention will not help the situation.
@@TheMitmiter We teach them young that sacrificing liberty for "safety" is the smart thing to do. And they grow up believing that, and believing that the only freedoms we should have are the freedoms that our benevolent & wise government leaders decide they should grant to us.
Teaching children independence and self-reliance is making them safer. They carry themselves more confidently and present a less desirable target for abductors. In the '80s, we took the school bus home from elementary school, and walked home from the bus stop. We let ourselves in our own homes. We did homework, played & watched TV until our parents came home.
it's weird. up until i started learning about other countries i always thought it was normal to be in your own house 90% of the time when you're not at work or school. since i live on a busy street with no sidewalks that's pretty removed from any stores or shopping centers, i end up not leaving home often
and now it's ingrained in our culture. For about 10 years I lived on Main St in a small city/large town. There were huge sidewalks and businesses all up and down the street, but in those 10 years I think I only ever went into 3 of those shops. I could have easily walked to the grocery store, but instead always drove there and bought all of our groceries for the week. I know many people that live in the same kinds of towns and are the same way. Also, I'm always fascinated in these videos when I see all these adults riding bikes, because you literally never see that here. Bikes are what kids use until they can get a license. It's ultra rare to see an adult on a bike anywhere around me and even more rare for it not to be an avid cycler. Personally I don't think I've been on a bike in 10 years. The last time I cleaned out my garage, I got my bike into a place where I could easily get it out and then completely forgot about it.
I'm from Spain and honestly the only time I'm home is when I have to sleep 😂
It becomes even worse now with grocery stores offering you to deliver your shopping to your doorstep. Food delivery? No problem. Need to go somewhere? Just call an uber.
And then we have dumbf*ck conservatives who complain about how the children of today are "being so weak" and stuff, and how they never play outside anymore. No wonder, if they aren't even allowed to be outside on their own. This is so f*cked up.
People don't leave their home because they don't want too. Not because there are no stores around them. People don't leave their home because most Americans work more than most other countries. My husband routinely has 18 hour days where is the time?
@@Fizzypopization Sounds like your husband needs to change jobs.
growing into adulthood in america has been so depressing
As a mildly disabled person, I can't tell you how frustrating it is to live in a neighborhood where the nearest anything is like 3 miles away by car and there's no sidewalks. It's silly but, sometimes I think my family picked this place so I wouldn't be able to leave. And it's just enough out of the way that most of my friends can't afford to drive here.
I'm from Europe and started making my daily "commute" by myself when I was about 4 years old. But in fact I wasn't by myself at all - there were dozens of kids outside every morning who were all walking to kindergarden and school! We would meet up with our friends on the way and continue together - I used to walk with my sister and her best friend - and on the way back we often sneaked away to the little shop around the corner that sold ice cream, pencils, sweets and comic books. I really love to remember those times and feel sorry for every child who cannot experience this freedom and community - every child needs adventures!
Same . We were Kids from 4 to 11 yo all "unsupervised" but u can be sure that if we did anything suspicious my mum would Get a phone call from one of the many old ladies looking out the window all the time :)
@@gianfavero This still happen to 17 yo me, i was cycling with a friend 2 months ago maybe and we went to a mall 5km away maybe from our city to check some 3060's, when i came back my mom knew i went there like how you know that
not sure of community but freedom I had. in early 90s when walking few km back from school we often explored woods, creeks, old bomb shelters, under bridges, a weird shack and this abandoned cement factory. in hindsight probably not the safest activities for kids of around 10 years old, wouldn't have been surprised if some of us got tetanus from a rusty nail or fell from a tree or a roof but it did teach self reliance in a sink or swim kinda way, not like we had phones yet either. (technically it was suburban area but don't think we needed to cross more than one very quiet road to get to school, and only kid I remember getting seriously hurt in the area in fact got hit by a car.)
today things feel a little sterile in comparison. with google maps and translator app while they're immensely useful even the most exotic cities can be so easy to navigate that it could be a little hard to get that sense of adventure anymore. having someone or something to rely on feels a bit like cycling with the training wheels on.
@@krombopulosmichael6162 You've obviously never been to Amsterdam, just about the most multi-cultural city I've ever seen in all of europe. What a load of horse manure.
@@krombopulosmichael6162 you blame the effect one incident, thinking it is the cause of another. Yes, people *can* be happy in suburbs, and maybe minority families are best poised to be happier, as various cultures promote multi-generational households, which could potentially allow higher children driving and supervision availability in the form of grandparents while the parents focus on working. However, the crux of the issue is the city design being fundamentally flawed, and not just in transit or land use efficiency. North american cities *promote* division, simply through property values. Historic racism has resulted in whites having a higher average in generational wealth and resource access than minorities.
The simplest heart of the problem is: people who are poor are not getting wealthier, and minorities are usually poorer than whites because of the historic racism favoriting whites. So when minorities move into a neighborhood, it's either because the property market slowed down so minorities could catch up, it stagnated, or it actually went down. So if a white person has a home or income from a sold home aqcuired from their great great grandparent's New Deal, or the ww2 G.I. bill, while a black person's great great grandparent got neither, the white person is just higher on the financial totem pole, with different and also new priorities or interests not relevant or accessible to lower income minorities. So, if your local housing market isn't doing so well in an era where a 450k house in 2017 normally goes to 750k by 2020, why would you settle down there and accept that your real estate, your investment, is going to die?
Also there's a bunch of climate and population and space efficiency issues that suggest nixing suburbs as a good idea.
Also also, this channel already covered the fact that suburbs are a net negative for city income, with each single family home costing an average of -1,500 USD, meaning suburbs are subsidized and also unsustainable, bankrupting cities. The last group expecting to shoulder that extra 1.5k would be minorities because, again, they have a systemic bias that has limited their ability to accrue generational wealth and forcibly slowed, halted, or reversed their progress of ascending into a higher economic class.
This is what my childhood in Ireland looked like: independence, exercise, joy. When we returned home to the US when I was 15 I immediately lost all of my independence and responsibility. It was a setback based on BAD design. Thank you for this video. Please: let’s create spaces that encourage human agency instead of inhibiting or even punishing it!!!
Well, that's not what the government wants.. That's the capitalistic world you live in, you're either rich and live a life, or poor and live in misery. There's no middle class here, only poor or poorer
@@NikoSaga thanks God that's what you think and not the reality.
@@jhonatangonzalez7943 - No, it IS the reality now. It’s absolutely, soul-crushingly depressing.
@@madeleinerose7090 no it's not
@@jhonatangonzalez7943 Depends on where you live. The disease had advanced further in some places than others.
My son just came back from Amsterdam. He is 17 and just was amazed how friendly it was. He wants to go finish his schooling there now. I dont blame him
I never realized it until now, but the "I have to pick up my kids from school" thats pretty normal in american shows is INCREDIBLY weird. I was walking or cycling to school by myself since I was around 6. Same as almost every other child in my school. The only times I got picked up was for appointments right after school or if my brother was close by with his bicycle and I was in foot that day. Here in germany (at least where I lived) its absolutely normal for children to commute to school and bsck themselves. And even disregarding school and the like, its incredibly easy (not as easy as the netherlands though) to get basically anywhere on foot or with a bike.
I'm starting university a few years late at 25, and my buddy who already lived in my new city for a while now showed me around when I first got here. We went through the town, got some food and sat on a nice bench in front of the university's main building to eat and chat for hours. Seeing videos like this makes me appreciate this much more.
The "school run" is still perfectly normal in the UK if your kids are younger than early-mid teens. Most older kids make their own way, as do some younger ones. It's not consistent or uniform.
@@halfbakedproductions7887 I mean, I get it if you have the time to do that. I would drive my kids to school as well if I could. It just kinda feels weird to me.
Maybe its because of the way I grew up though. Poor as hell single mom who is always working to make ends meet. Not really much of a chance to get driven to school. Especially considering my mom didn't have a car until I was like 13. So I might be kinda biased. Most of the kids in my school grew up that way afaik... so yeah. Bias. Forgot about that :D
It's not even a Netherland or Japan thing, children in literally most countries grew up going out hanging around with friends on their own. I grew up in a major city in China like this too. After I came to Canada, for the longest time I couldn't figure out why the streets are so depressing to walk on. When I talk to my friend in Korea, most of the time when he's not working or studying he's out there taking a walk through his city like I used to. Meanwhile, the only choices I have are to either walk through the suburb drives and loiter around the neigbourhood playground like a weirdo, or take a 30 mins bus ride through suburbia to get to the downtown streets with businesses, which is of course designed for cars to drive by the front or accessed through parking lots in the back. Sidewalks are so narrow and you can't even tell what some stores are right away because the signs are above you targeted towards cars. No wonder why people I've met go into the mountains or woods to entertain themselves on weekends. I've never felt so depressed in my life.
I literally was searching for a comment like this. As russian it's rediculous to me people not be able get anywhere on foot for the half of the life like in every other country... yet those people belive they are the freest in the world
Your comment really give me a new perspective. I’ve always dislikes cities/suburbs and rather be hiking/fishing/hunting. Maybe it isn’t that I don’t like city-life, just the cities here.
As an Italian in the rural countryside I always went on my bike, even if I only stayed 500m from home because it was fun and walking is kinda boring
Ps: don't give up man, life will shine you back
Is normal for every country except in America.
I don't think china is the best example considering regular kidnappings of children...
The lack of independence as a kid is a huge factor that plays into our society today. Happy kids become happy adults. Kids in the US are underdeveloped socially, physically and mentally because of this. They have little spatial awareness. A lot of 10 year old kids here are at a 5 year old mental capacity because they are so sheltered. Kids are not stupid and we need to stop pretending that they are.
as a 14-year-old kid in the US, there’s really not much you can do unless you have a drivers license. I live right next to a small city in Indiana, but you can’t even get to it without a car because there’s no sidewalks or bike lanes anywhere. I can’t wait till I have the freedom to go places by myself without having to beg my parents to drive me and my siblings places
@@wren_. As a 15-year-old kid also in the US it is quite awful here like you said. I don't like cars and don't plan on staying in America. As soon as possible i'd love to move to Europe where people are taken into consideration in city plans.
I'm nineteen and moving from adolescence to adulthood feels like whiplash, I like cars but I driving keeps me very tense because of how chaotic the roads are.
I've been looking at and making plans for years now to move to Europe, I can't afford it right now and my boyfriend is going to not want to go without a lot of convincing and explaining.
It's really difficult
@@widen698 We are living the same life
Edit: except I won’t have a girlfriend to convince lol, only my bank account opposes my desired move to Europe 😅
@@gizmo4192 i agree and im canadian. here are the american problems
Crime and the justice system
Hate crimes
Obesity
Advertising junk food to children
Hunger
Media propaganda
Alcohol and other drugs
Racism and racial inequality
Healthcare in the United States.
Human rights in the United States.
Violence against LGBT people in the United States.
Domestic violence in the United States.
Gender inequality in the United States.
Wealth inequality in the United States.
Income inequality in the United States.
Abortion problems in many States.
Education system in the United States.
i feel really bad for americans
all this video did was make me depressed at how awful it is to grow up in the US. the street i live on doesent even have sidewalks and it leads straight into a highway just a few corners down. there’s a school that’s probably an 8 minute walk (in a neighborhood) but it has a massive parking lot because people can’t let their kids walk for 2-8 minutes to school. i’m not exaggerating the school literally sits next to house.
Some parts definitely do suck, but there's still some things to be grateful for about living in the US. It's a fairly safe country, and at least we aren't in a warlorn country or anything. The US definitely needs to step up their game though.
I am so glad that I grew up in the 70's before things in the US got too bad. We walked and biked everywhere from the time we were six until we got our driver's license. The changes occurred so gradually that I never noticed them but after watching this (and other videos), it's depressingly obvious.
Bike where? In upstate NY, it take well over an hour to bike anywhere because everything is so far apart. Maybe happen to live in the same neighborhood as your friend, but I can tell you that it will take well over an hour to bike to my friend's house.
There is one very common theme amongst people who were released from _very long_ (e.g. 40 year) prison sentences and went back out into society. They have basically *all* commented that there aren't kids just "hanging out" or harmlessly loitering around outside or in malls like there used to be.
Even in the 1990s and early 2000s that was still reasonably common. Society would have completely broken down if we'd had a COVID lockdown in those days without the technology to foster social distancing better.
I was recently driving to the gym on a stroad and noticed, for a brief moment, some man had collapsed on the grass on the side of the road next to his wheelchair. I was driving, plus I was taking an exit road to a highway, so even if I wanted to help, I would need to navigate all the way back to that area from the highway, and find a place to pull over safely and get out to check on him. I felt like shit doing this, but I just kept driving, and guarantee at least 500 other people did the same. Driving a car also meant I could only have a quick glance at him.
This made me realize another thing about car dependency you pointed out, when you mentioned that if something happened to you, as a pedestrian, on the side of the road, plenty of people would SEE you, but nobody would really care. Driving a car depersonalizes others and traps us in our little air conditioned cages. I truly hate it.
BTW If you read this Jason I love you man, thank you for opening my eyes.
That's brutal to see that and not be able to do anything. 😬
I've had the same feeling while witnessing car accidents and yet being completely stuck on the road with nowhere to pull off and unable to help, very frustrating.
Plus the stress of driving in traffic and the anger that comes from dealing with people that don’t know how to drive yet drive, it makes you disconnected from reality. Plus lots of people driving distracted, mostly texting, plus the damage we’re doing to the world.
@@Walterrinho Worst thing is, most of the distracted/bad drivers are driving brcause they have no alternative. If they had the option to walk/cycle/use public transport then there'd be way less bad drivers to deal with
If you can’t stop please call the police. Yikes.
As someone who has grown up in a suburban only way of living, the thought of letting kids walks to school so young is mental. However, it makes sense and it really makes me realize how sheltered I am and the reason on me struggling with my independence.
Meanwhile I grew up walking to school by myself and babysitting my brother, when I was 7. Me and my husband grew up in an era where the rules was to be home before dark. Six hours later, our parents hadn't heard one peep from us and there was no cellphones back then either.
You'd figured that with how technology is now, more kids would be out and about because kids can be tracked with a GPS now. Kids have cellphones.
@@christins.1481 yea but now its the perves that are tracking them. Smh
Not sheltered, you just had smart parents. Kids are snatched up all the time. No parent wants that to be their child, reported “missing” for ten years when really they’ve been tortured and murdered, all because the parent couldn’t be bothered to walk their kid to and from the bus stop.
@@notabadword4026
European cities aren't f*cking wastelands. You'd have to kidnap half a dozen children and silently kill just as many adult witnesses to not have a whole army of policemen on your back immediately. By every statistic, uncle Larry is a far greater risk for your child than some guy in a van.
@@christins.1481 God that sounds amazing to me. I know it's seen as a first-world problem but (as a now 20 year old) I always hated having to text my Mum about exactly where I was at all times. I had no ability to have friends she didn't know everything about or go places that she didn't personally drive me. The one time I did live near a friend, it honestly felt like the best time of my life. Once he moved, I spent the next 6 or 7 years mostly sat at my computer playing video games.
I live in the UK wihout kids (yet) and had always envied the US and Canada for their big roads and beautiful houses. Now I think differently. Thank you for this video!
@@ZeroDAreaper what’s that supposed to mean?
@@ZeroDAreaper the UK is not ‘just like the US’. There are some similarities but other than that they are very different in terms of culture.
@@ZeroDAreaper and with places you can walk to, some places in need of cycling infrastructure sadly 😟
houses are big because they use cheap materials, in some places there are not even sidewalks.
At least the UK's shitty new-build estates at least have pavements for the most part and sometimes cycle paths, playpark for the kids, and so on. You can at least go out for a walk and get some air in relative safety and without someone dialling 999 because of how suspicious that is.
Unfortunately, this isn't true in large swathes of North America.
Remote rural Alaska is paradise for our boys. The closest town is 35 miles. There are no Karens. They have 50 million acres of wilderness out the front door to play in.
In the USA, people are eager to guilt-trip and shame you for any freedom and responsibility you give your kids. They'll call the police and claim they are just doing it for the benefit of your children when in fact it is evil power-tripping.
There's nobody out here but us. The kids thank us every day for this kind of freedom, they know exactly what it is like in town.
"There are no Karens" 😂😂👍
I grew up in Poland, living in the countryside and since I've been 8 or 9 I started to ride a bike to school and it was completely normal for me. Hearing stories of trying to take away your children for letting them go to school for their own is abnormal for me. I cannot imagine that I am going to school "on the leash" with my parents. Besides, what if both of parents have to be at work at that moment...
Its crazy right? The more I hear about the US the more I think this country is soooo restricted. Their freedom is worth nothing because they dont really have freedom...
I’ve seen some parents around here that literally have leashes for their kids! It’s a backpack that the kid wears which has a lead coming off it it that the parent either holds or attaches to their belt!
That’s how unsafe some people seem to think the world is!
@@SaveMoneySavethePlanet welp considering kidnaping rates and trafficking rates have been skyrocketing along with the most evil PEDOFILES rates have been increasing as well. To put it simply you had a 89% less of a chance to get kidnapped and force into the sex trade in 1990 than 2022. Welcome to the modern evil world. China and the middle east are some of the largest importers of children as well.
Literal en alguno de esos lugares los padres llevan a sus hijos atados con una correa como si fueran perros :-S
I've heard places in America turn away kids who bike to school
funny story: a (non-Dutch) friend of my father's was very surprised when he went cycling in the morning (around 7:15) and saw groups of children standing along the road, seemingly doing nothing. my father then explained that they were waiting for friends to cycle to school together. I used to do this too because I had to cycle 13 km to get to school. My friends and I had a number of meeting places where roads from the different villages would converge and we would wait for each other.
When my father told me that his friend thought this was so special, I thought it was funny since I always took this for granted. Now every time I see something that is super Dutch (like overcrowded underground bicycle sheds) I think: What would my father's friend think of this?
In Germany in small to mid sized cities it's also very comon however the bigger the city the less likely it is to occure. And I think the "drive to shool" mentality is also sadly on the rise, it's not a unicorn phenomenon to meet smallish kids (5-12) that can't ride a bike ..wich is sad and terrifing.
Yes, same in Switzerland. When I was a kid, I also used to wait for my friends (or they waited for me) to cycle together to school.
When I was 8 I'd spent years being walked to school then it was decided we were old enough to go on our own. The neighbourhoods always had sidewalks. All the children left school together in big groups. Our group went along a main route which children breaking off as they got to their homes or the beginning of their streets. All the groups behaved this way. It was never formally set up and no adult was involved. Going to school was the same in reverse. This wasn't even what you call a first world country.
As someone who frequently visits schools I have never been to, these ribbons of cyclists help me find the school every time, lol!
@@MakiMakixc I mean, you can't blame someone for not wanting to ride a bike to school when a car can get them there much quicker.
i'm 17 and can't get anywhere without my parents driving me. and i'm so overscheduled that there's never time for my dad to give me driving lessons. we've been doing it for months, but have only drived like 10 times. i can't park well at all.
i could never live as independently as kids younger than me in those movies and shows, but i do fantasize about it
same story here. both my parents work, and half the time they have to drive on the highway or on super busy roadways that i haven’t had enough practice on to drive safely. It’s such a nightmare honestly
@@semidecent4395 YEAH it's so hard when both parents work with little time on their hands! i work too, and have to be driven there, since there's not enough time for me to drive on my own. it's a mess for sure
And to think I spent my whole life thinking a life of isolation and loneliness was normal
It is lol. Ever since the modern internet age and gaming
I’m 45 and have two young children. I grew up in a reasonably walkable/bikeable suburb of Boston that had a population of around 35K. Around age 12, I started riding my bike further and further away from my neighborhood. I craved freedom. Biking to a friend’s house for the first time that was outside of my normal range was powerfully liberating. Over the next few years I walked and biked increasingly longer distances to visit friends and enjoy feeling independent. But I remember one evening I was about to leave the house to go somewhere and my father offered me a ride. I politely says no thanks, I’d rather walk. This angered him, and he asked me, “Why do you want to be walking around on the streets like some kind of jerk?” At the time I didn’t get why he was so upset. But looking back I realize most of the people you’d see walking or occasionally biking around my hometown had “DUI” written all over them. They were either ne’er do well types, or extremely poor. My father didn’t want me mingling with these people on their level, or to be seen by the ‘normal’ people in our town as some kind of aspiring f**k up in the making. All this despite the fact that his generation had immeasurable freedom as children, far more than even I could imagine. Perhaps in the name of progress and improvement we naively allowed walking and biking to become so stigmatized they’ve basically been abandoned, and as this video illustrates it’s not just a cultural thing it’s baked into zoning laws and likely tied into the auto industry itself in some ways. North Americans are losing their minds.
As someone who has lived in both the USA and Europe, I agree with you. I always found it funny that things considered normal in Germany like walking and biking were seen as poor people methods of transportation in the USA (I'm in the east Bay Area). Shit, don't let someone see you get on the city bus, lmao. Instant homeless status.
its only in America you get some bum stigma if you're walking on the street. If you go to Europe or Russia, it's very normal to see lots of people on the street, and shockingly it's actually common to meet and talk to strangers and ask them on a date. I had depression when my parents moved to the US, I felt like I was imprisoned in big suburbia with empty streets.
@@SunGxdRa another thing that comes to my mind that is considered for poor people in the United States but it is normal practically everywhere in Europe is to dry the laundry by putting it in the sunlight, do you confirm this?
If you was still 15 or younger you was fine
Funnily enough, the parents of many of my friends thought I was some kind of thug because they'd see me walking or riding my bike around town a lot. They'd just assume my parents weren't around while they kept their kids imprisoned in house on their wonderful playstations. Then the kids would grow up and get 'turned out' as young adults. Tattoos all over the place and a lot of drugs. Nothing I have a strong desire to do to "fit in". Agreed, Americans are losing their minds.
It's crazy how this problem seems to be getting even worse, too. My friend had a house built out in Morrow, OH a few years ago. It's an area that's being developed right now, and it's mostly planned communities, but it's absolutely bizarre because, until you get into the side streets, the entire town is 50mph. And it needs to be. It's spaced out like it's a rural area, but no one here is doing any kind of agriculture. It's just acre-plus properties with barren lawns, strip malls with massive parking lots that are never going to be even a quarter-full, and a whole lot of nothing to stare at while you're driving to and from. It's like taking suburban isolation and adding rural isolation to it without any of the pastoral charm.
That kills me, the idea of wasting land like that. If you're not going to build on it, or farm on it, please leave it be! Don't cut the grass! When did people start to hate nature so much?
It's a lot better to have a smaller home in a dense area than a large one in the middle of nowhere!
I grew up in Morrow, OH. The roads are so dangerous for anybody who wants to walk somewhere. Until I went to college, I didn’t think there were places that you could safely get groceries without a car. Now, I’m angry that I spent 18 years of my life without any freedom.
A lot of bored teens in Morrow have died “hill hopping,” because it’s so bleak there that driving at 90mph on hilly 45mph roads is one of the few exciting ideas for some. So sad, and I’m sure if driving and going to Target wasn’t the only “fun” thing you could easily do, that death toll would be much lower.
only a bunch of half-wits could turn this beautiful country into what it is today...
*A shopping mall*
-George Carlin
I'm sure car guys there have a blast with all the road and empty parking lot lmao. I wish there weren't so many damn people where I live.
America: the land of the free.
Also America: "you are not allowed to let your kids be free"
I remember going to El Paso, Texas and being driven around suburbia for a while.
I could not believe how depressing it was.
Suburbia is soo wierd to me Like I genuinely wonder is America is actually like this
And nothing (including seeing it in person) will change that
As a kid I remember feeling isolated from my friends because we moved to a new house two miles away. I still saw them at school, but we could no longer just hang out at random. Despite close proximity, we were separated by a highway and too young to drive.
Yes!! I spent ages 5-10 in gorgeous walkable neighborhoods absolutely crawling with kids. We had SO much independence. It really was the perfect childhood. This was in Drexel Hill PA and Clayton MO. But when I was about 11 my parents bought a house in the suburbs and the adjustment was awful. Suddenly I couldn't see my friends anymore. There were a few neighborhood kids I hung out with but I couldn't walk to anything interesting, the neighborhood was ringed by arterial roads, and I felt a huge sense of loss of my former freedom. Then around age 14 we moved again, this time to a super distant suburban planned community. There was absolutely NOTHING for a teenager to do. In retrospect I was definitely depressed. I spent all my time on the internet or gaming. My grades dropped. I was basically trapped at home most of the time. Both of my parents worked long hours do the was no one to drive me around. I would never subject my own kids to that. Now that I'm a parent, we have been very deliberate about only living in walkable neighborhoods that allow us and our children to have freedom without needing a car.
Totally felt that too....
friends outside of school? completely foreign concept to me. i would have to plan any event with friends (yes they were treated as rare events) a week in advance. i only ever went somewhere out of the house with friends once.
get a bike?
Just moved to the US from Spain last year, and I convinced my husband to move back to Europe next year or so because of much of what you say. I told him a few times how strange it is not seeing kids outside when we live in a suburban neighborhood... where there are obviously plenty of families with children. It's so quiet it freaks me out. And what about old people? In Spain you will not only see groups of children playing outside, but also the old ladies getting together in coffee shops, etc. I saw two kids on their own the other day and I think it's been the first time in more than a year living here. I've never seen a group of elderly people (men or women) just hanging around, chatting and having a good time. It's heartbreaking.
Wow that’s crazy I’ve grown up in the US my whole life and I hardly ever went out alone as a kid and even as a teen now I never really go out. I thought it was normal but from looking at these comments I’m noticing that I guess it’s not like that in other countries, which really surprises me and also makes me sad that I couldn’t grow up that way.
@@Jaenalana if you are a young teen you still have time! get ur friends outsideeeeeee
Car dependency also means that the elderly desperately hold onto their driver's license, even as their driving ability declines. If they lose their license then they lose all their independence with it
@@ChrisDombroski I didn't think of that... so many ramifications to this whole issue. It's true that at some point it's not safe for many elders to drive, but they still need to move, go outside and a community. And with isolation also comes rapid cognitive decline. People should realize that walkability and reliable, safe public transportation benefits each one of us.
I also think that with the long hours and little vacation time that people get in the US, it must be very difficult taking care of the family members that require more attention and care. It's not an easy task anywhere, but I can see how much worse it must be in this country if you don't have the financial means.
I fucking hate it. I’m an adult and I hate it. It’s the stroads** These massive streets make everything feel so alien and unlived in. A ghost city waiting to happen because they have no soul. 🤢
I remember on my study abroad trip to Japan, we witnessed 5/6-year-olds get on the subway with no adult supervision. Everything was so safe and walkable that little kids go to school with no issue. I have my suburban house now in the middle of nowhere but I'd give anything to live in actual community where people and kids can be outside and feel safe.
I was really surprised by the fact this is exactly the problem that we are having in Korea.. more and more new towns are now designed maily focus on car traffic and more spaces because people think its safer to kids compare to more condenced downtown, but that town design caused exaclty same problem, isolation and overly dependant chilren..
yes, do you think it's because there are more people that city planners are not changing the design? I know in Seattle, we have city planners who make sure that parts of the city are still "green" with either grass spots within concrete or trees
This is one of the reasons why I was raised sheltered. I really didn't have a choice. It was either stay at home and get a false feeling of independence or go outside, but be with my parents the entire time, which can get annoying. Now that I'm 21 with a car and time to spare, it's almost like I'm living a life I should've lived when I was a teenager. At this point, I'm making up for lost time.
Which can also be extremely dangerous as a developing adult, because you didn't get the chances to make the inevitable mistakes trying to be an independent that you should have while you still had parental oversight to fall back on. If you deprive teenagers from learning to 'adult', then you get poor decisions as adults (not claiming you are maladjusted, but it definitely seems as though there are a lot more confused and unprepared young adults).
wat. who cares if ur let around by urself or not. who gives a fuck, i dont get how ur making up for lost time. aint shit to make up
@@Iionios exactly why adulting is a thing millenials say. We never did a lot of the stuff our parents did becausr of protecrion
europe is different, suburbs are better here... in that video looks like whole Europe is Netherlands but what is true is your kid laws... no freedom?why? we got square full of kids without parents in our suburbs?
@@Yep6803 cuzz the media ran a ton of stuff about kids being kidnapped by men with white vans , just coming and picking up kids, and so all parents were like nope you kids cant go out alone ,
I grew up in Southern California and I used to walk to school, however I always thought it was strange cutting through paved strip malls.
crime & rape
I walk to school, but I would never have been able to do it in elementary school, as the route was long and gnarly, divided by a 4 lane road. (still have to cross it, but the HS is actually in distance.)
My middle school is even farther away, and is surrounded by a web of roads, but I've walked home a few times on that road, and it wasn't too bad.
Same. I would often walk through dirt lots to get anywhere. Strange how I just thought it was normal
Same, grew up in Socal. My brother and I biked and walked everywhere as kids. We rode to school, friends' houses, malls, music stores, parks to play ball, etc. However, when I visit my parents these days that still live there, I wouldn't let my kids do the same. There are simply too many cars moving through the city even though when you get out of school, it's still non-traffic time. In Socal, it's just too many people so massive amount of cars on the road at any given time these days.
I can walk and take public transportation in the city where I currently live in SoCal despite beibg a suburb. However, if buses were more frequent and the transfers were not as bad as having to wait 3 hours, it would be a more walkable/public transit area like in other parts of the world.
Is there a recommendation for what a new, working-class American couple should do about this? Because up and moving overseas isn’t exactly an option for all of us.
I don’t mean to come off as belligerent, but this video was honestly more depressing than aspirational for me. “Your home sucks, and it’s never going to get better. Peace!”
I met my wife in Ontario, but I was insistant on raising my kids in Vancouver (suburban Ottawa looks exactly like those other Ontario cities). It's definitely more walkable/cyclable here, but as is pointed out, it's the fear of some nosy neighbour calling child services that gives me anxiety.
In what country do you have to be scared over the neighbour calling the police and taking your kid away when you did nothing wrong? DDR? Ah no America, always the good ones ;)
@@FickAlleRapperDeutschlands Canada, actually.
Lack of walkable space is a major issue in the USA. I'm legally blind and recently had a car drive right over my foot because they turned into me when I was at a crossing. I fear for my life every time I have to walk 3 miles to the store. Hopefully, it will be a little better when I relocate to Wales for further education.
EDIT [July 15, 2022]: To explain a bit further for the folks in the replies-- following a seizure, I have had no vision in my right eye for 2 years and can only see about an arm's length out of my left eye (and quite poorly at that). I'm fortunate enough to still be able to type comments, read textbooks/documents, and play video games every once in a while! However, my outdoor navigation is kind of poor at times, especially when there's bright sunlight or when I'm getting too much auditory feedback from multiple sources.
I'm going to be studying at Aberystwyth University, hopefully in September of 2023! I'm going for a bachelor's in computer science and a master's in Cymraeg, after which I'll be finding a sponsored job, applying for indefinite leave and eventually for citizenship. I'll be working 60 hours a week (10 hours a day) starting 5 days from now, so I should have enough saved up to get on that plane and go to college in a year's time.
Depends where in Wales... the UK is, again, such a strange little hybrid of NA and the continent, where we have pretty decent pavement coverage around big cities and towns (for the most part) but forgot to add proper cycling infrastructure
4+ kilmeteres to the store? Holy shit.
I walk daily in my Western Canadian city, and there is a visually impaired guy I see walking quite frequently in my neighbourhood. One day I watched a driver zoom right past him as he was trying to cross the road in a crosswalk - this enraged me. It's bad enough that the drivers endanger *me* regularly, but at least I can see them coming! I sincerely wish you all the best in your walking.
How’d you type this
@@Platinum199 voice to text
How many of us grew up with "go outside and play", "be back when the street lights come on", and "call me from your friend's house so I know where you are"? Free range parenting, and I'm not really debating how 'safe' it is because it most definitely wasn't. We got hurt, got scared, made poor choices, got in trouble, cost our parents money fixing what we screwed up. I feel like I'm becoming one of the old "well in my day..." people, but I don't want to turn into a "kids these days..." kind of person like we're blaming the kids for the situations we created for them. There were plenty of summer days where my parents had no idea where I was at or who I was with, but as long as I didn't come home crying then everything was ok. Again, I definitely would not call this 'safe', and it did lead to plenty of problems which might not have happened if we'd had adult supervision.
But I also have to say that the kids in my immediate geography were pretty well in shape because as long as it wasn't raining, we were usually out on bikes, skates, skateboards, or just running around being energetic kids. It wasn't long after I became a teenager and gradually stopped doing all those energy expending activities that I started to notice a lot of new signs in town. "No trespassing" "No skates/skateboards/bikes" "No loitering" "Children must be accompanied by an adult". We literally made kids outside enjoying being kids into something people called the police over. And we wonder why kids get in trouble so much or aren't outside playing together.
Getting in trouble is part of being a Kid. You're kinda suppose to. It's how you learn. You can't shetler kids too much or they have no idea how to function in the real world. It's a balance that has to be struck.
getting in trouble and doing that stuff is part of being a kid
@@johniii8147 Isn't getting in trouble part of being alive period? It's not even a kid thing trouble comes around regardless even if you are 200 XD
@@dewolf123 Agreed we all make mistakes.. this kid thing is about learning to minimize them and deal with them when they do happen.
@@johniii8147 True, adapting to the harsh environments of the real world is always important asap before adulthood
I'm not a kid. I don't have kids. I won't be having any kids. But damn do your videos make me want to move to the Netherlands.
I always took my freedom of movement as a child for granted. I was able to walk alone to school by my second day of elementary school. Now I know how privileged I was. Who would have thought how much of an impact a lack of sidewalks can have on the life of a child. Im from Hamburg, Germany btw
The first time my mom let me walk to school alone was when I was 16. And it turns out she was trailing me in her car so it doesn’t even really count
I'm Dutch, and my mother lets me do basically anything, as long as she knows where I am.
I can also always just text her if there's something wrong.
This feels "adequately supervised" enough for me.
It is, living in a part of Canada with descent infrastructure, my parents can tract my phone, they call me, I feel safe, but looking at Ontario… hole other story
This is the way all Dutch kids are brought up and all kids around the world should be brought up. How else are kids supposed to learn how to stand on their own two feet?
That's what we experienced in small suburb in Ontario ~30 years ago. I walked to elementary school. There was a route to the back field of the school away from the main road. I'm pretty sure I was doing it solo by grade 1 or 2.
People were also having more kids in those days so there was literally more schools, while the population of the town has since doubled. There's so few children in town, that they're combining to make a new high school with the neighbouring two towns in a centralized location...which is farming area. Across the street is a vineyard. Down one of the side streets is some orchards. Further down are a produce distribution warehouse and a marijuana growing greenhouse. The latter is within a 1km of the school. Brilliant planning.
Same for Germany. Would write a note who I was out with and when I would be home again and then I would do my thing.
We were always out somewhere after school without our parents around. Many of our parents worked full-time so of course we also arrived home before them on most days and it just wasn't a big deal.
In the US that would get you a visit from the child services for neglect.
This was how it worked for me as a kid in small town Florida (before cell phones were a thing). My parents always knew where I would go, like the park or hangout w/ friends, and just trusted me. Canada even looks insane by USA standards.
my parents had marital issues and moved to the netherlands (my dad is dutch) and i could never put my finger on why life feels so much better here. You put it in clear english for me, thanks.
Except for weather that is trash , but compared to Canada it's probably better
@@dimmacommunication ah yes true dutch behavior complaining about the weather XD
@@neko_my_cat not really, most people prefer good weather like in Southern Europe compared to Northern Europe.
@@johniewalker4356 we dutch people have a habit of complaining about the weather no matter where we are. The sun is shining: it's to bright, above 20°c to hot, bellow that too cold etc etc.
I grew up in an American suburb and the feeling of not being able to do anything without depending on my parents was sad. I felt a bit happier when I could start biking to school. When I visited Korea and Japan, the difference was astounding. Kids going everywhere, including school, on their own taking public transit, and even without a car, I could go anywhere I wanted for cheap.
I was suprised that children even aren't allowed to play in their own garden witout their parents in the tv program 'supernanny'. I live in the Netherlands and I am so happy that children here have so much more freedom.
I'm from Ontario. The fact that people under 16 years old are discouraged from walking or going outside alone is insane. I walked on my own to school starting around 10 or 11 and I was always fine.
I always walked to school on my own. My primary school was right around the corner and when I went to middle and high-school later I took the bike. Only when the weather was abysmally bad I would sometimes ask my mom to drive me to school. But that would mean that I had to take the bus home. Which took longer than taking the bike.
I walked on my own to school starting around 8 was always fine... ( roughly 2 km )
Could confirm. I grew up in northern China and was walking to and from school around exactly that age. Same climate! Safety's alright-ish but I'm pretty sure that Canada could do better than that.
16 is insane, in Sweden kids take the buss to the city at 11 and to school at 6.
Lol, am i the only one who went alone all school? I mean beside the first day of first grade. Even to kindergarten i was going by myself😂
It’s just so sad. Growing up in a small European town I had permission to go out on my own since I was 10 and I know it’s very important for my kids to have the same experience. Since I was 16 all I wanted is to move to LA but now that I’m 25 I realized that life here is nothing like the movies and that kind of bs. I am for sure moving back to Europe, that’s the life I want for my kids and I’m sure that’s the life they will enjoy more.
That's why we returned to Germany from Texas when my son was 3 years old. I wanted him to have a free childhood. Now he lives the childhood that I had in the 70s, roaming free with his friends being gone for hours without any supervision. Today, the last day of school, a group of 11 year-olds will walk from the school to the local swimming pool and spend the afternoon there to celebrate the beginning of summer vacation. Absolutely unthinkable in Texas.
I grew up in an American suburb and this video really put into words a lot of the issues I had growing up. Thank you for making this, I have a lot to think about.
crime & rape
a lot of these things were just normal to me until i watched these videos and realized how awful they are.
@@shieldgenerator7 suburbs exist due to city crime and decay. Most Americans used to live in cities until they fell apart.
@@user-mx9ue9ly6c youre talking about white flight, right?
@@shieldgenerator7 yes
It's not just walkability or being able to cycle places... living in Switzerland, I had a general train pass at 14 and could literally pop into any train and go anywhere in Switzerland at that age. It gave me the freedom to occasionally go visit friends that lived half way across the country. Even now as an adult I have no need for owning a car and only see it as a waste of money.
We had a similar thing in the Netherlands, called tienertoer. Tiener means teenager, toer means tour. Can't remember the exact details but you could travel anywhere in the country, adolescents only.
We do have something similar as heavily-discounted bus services for teenagers under 18 on city bus networks. Not sure what the minimum age was though. I got one when I was teenager in Orlando, Florida.
Here in the states where I’m at students can get monthly passes for the bus. That said, its is not very reliable and traffic can double the time needed at random. If your lucky, you can get a bus passing by every 15 minutes. Sometimes it might be 30 min or more. Most i have waited was probably 1 hour at a stop across the street from a school. Sometimes you get f’d over by the bus driver and they don’t stop at your location (even if they are not out of service or full). In some stops its more common than others.
@@moon-moth1 I had to look it up because I'm fairly sure we weren't 16 yet when we did it. It was for teens aged 12-19.
@@RDJ2 Yup, I spend a few happy summers that way.
i’m 17, and haven’t been able to get a drivers license. and living in the suburbs really has messed up my high school experience lol. especially since i do online school,. the nearest bus is a two hour bike ride away
I almost feel disappointed in how well this video has diagnosed something I was unaware of. As soon as I went to college I spent so much time doing things that at the time were so novel, while they were in actuality just me exercising my independence as a 20 year old. My family preached the country-club/suburb I grew up in(in washington) as being good for kids and I bought that idea. Yes, it is nice being able to leave your door unlocked and even open some nights, but that is only because you are surrounded by older retirees who prefer the quite and have their vintage cars to drive them around when you need it. for a kid growing up, needing stimulus, you were practically destined to boredom or just blissfully ignorant that there are more things to do as a 14 year old. The closest bus station was a 2 hour walk, so i never rode on a bus until I was 19 years old, in college going to downtown. I had to look up online how to get on one, and now, just over a year later, I cant get enough of hitting the town, riding a bus, being on a metro. I can only get this when its the academic year, when im in the heart of the city. Its just sad that as a 20 year old riding the bus is fun and I had to wait 2 decades to feel the rush you get when going somewhere on your own. this problem is truly bred from priviliege, but my parents spent so much money living somewhere that only now do i realize was rather undesirable
I bought a house in a US neighborhood that had an elementary school at the entrance. Kids were only allowed to arrive via car. Even if you lived in my neighborhood, your child would be suspended and sent home with a note about how horrible of a parent you were if your kid walked or took a bike. A couple we knew had it happen to them. The school was enforcing that you MUST USE A CAR instead of walking for 5mins. It was the dumbest thing. Yes let's brainwash them young to think a car is the only way to get ANYWHERE.
Also I never did after school programs because my parents were too poor to drive me, they both had to work. I had to take the school bus which meant I had to leave as soon as classes were over. If I could have biked home, I could have stayed after and done programs, keeping me away from my abusive parents for more of the day, which would have limited how much they could hit me.
Wow that's really dumb. Not only for the kids, but I also feel like Americans have no appreciation for the environment with demands like that.
Also, sorry about your parents. Hope you're doing well.
that school policy is absolutely INSANE. And I'm so sorry you grew up in an abusive household :(
wow. that's absurd but totally in line with American way of thinking. I'm sorry you were robbed of the after school program opportunities and then had to see your parents for more than you would've liked. I hope you are living your life now with full conviction and that you dream big.
That's terrible but not surprising considering US is controlled by brain deads
@@Goingby20s you can say Americans as a whole but that's one instance and I have never heard of that before...my school wasn't even in a city and I still saw at least 100 people that just walked every day
i grew up in the US so my parents didn’t allow me any freedoms due to all the cars and lack of walkability. but every time we visited family in mexico, of all places lol, they loosened up. they would have us do errands all the time bc our area was very walkable and communal. it was so refreshing having that specific freedom that was so rare up north.
Here where I live kids roam free from 7 in the morning to 7 in the night. I grew going to the shops from age three to buy small stuff. My mom walked me to and from basic school as a toddler, and then I walk with my friends and a dozen other kids at primary school and high school .Our yards are big enough to have bicycle races. City life never looked fun to me it just looks so crowded with polluted air while here it's just calm.
You should’ve stayed there.
@@yalllookweird9609 Suburbs only appear non crowded because everyone is separated from each other in cars most of the time (Or rather the suburbs ARE crowded as well - with cars). If everyone was walking around more it would probably look a lot more like a downtown area
Same thing here, visited my cousin in Hyderabad india, we would happily walk out and do our own things. Shopping, hanging out, or just taking a walk through the busy streets.
@@Codeman22 Money
i live in japan and work as an english teacher at an elementary school. most of the people on my commute to work are 1st-6th graders on the train by themselves. After school they go home by themselves, and play outside by themselves too. This country isnt too car friendly. the roads are too narrow and the taxes for owning a car are high. Pretty good place to live if you want your kids to be independant from an early age. Not sure about the hapiness though.
Asia schools are super competitive with lots of after school cramming. Not happy for most kids.
In college, I saw a lot of students really have a hard time when they were gone from mom and dad. And it was incredible how little they knew - I took major advantage of that. Made quite a decent amount of beer money from ironing shirts ($5 a shirt), washing clothes ($10 for wash and dry), and picking up orders ($10). They knew absolutely nothing and/or had major social anxiety so I took advantage of that.
Gotta make that money somehow
5$ a shirt and they paid it?
@@adityajadhav3045 yes. They did. I just shot out $5 and they immediately accepted. Stuck with it from there. Many were too blissfully ignorant to realize they’re being ripped off. College students especially now have a stunning lack of life skills.
@ThelastTiger i was raised by religious kooks who stunted my development. So i envy you.
Tsk
As a Dutchie, the soccer mom concept is such a foreign one to me... My parents would say I was crazy if I asked them to drive me anywhere that I could cycle to within 20 minutes😆
Even when it was raining. "You're not made of sugar!"
@@Bist040 true, I personally have to bike around 13 kilometers, (no E-bike) and my parents won't bring me with their car, even if it's storming, or raining like crazy.
@@brodoxl Wow, that's just sadistic 😂
Yup, mine too!😂
Yeah my parents wouldn't drive me around in the Netherlands. They aren't my personal taxi. Getting driven around is a very lazy life for kids.
I grew up in a large suburb in southern California. I walked or biked to school nearly every day (maybe a bit over a mile?).
During high school I got hit by a car twice while in the bike lane and ticketed multiple of times (even for riding on the sidewalk AFTER getting hit by a car). On top of that one of my friend's brothers died getting hit by a car while riding to school in middle school.
We actually had cops sitting on either opening of the school. If they saw anyone riding their bike on the sidewalk or without helmets, instant ticket. And then you're getting in trouble for being late for class after that.
We had terrible bike lanes that people parked in all the time, and if you rode on the sidewalk, you risked a ticket. It was incredibly infuriating.
I would be interested to know if that was unique to my area or not. Writing monetary fines for literal children seems like a pretty big disincentive for kids going outside and exploring on their own.
Yikes. My high school was considered a low-income school (in Glendale, AZ), and it didn't even get that much policing. The school only had 1 officer who was always on-campus.
It's crazy that schools in the US even have cops in front of them
@@Cyliandre441 yeah what a nightmare
@@grahamturner2640 In the UK, I saw a police man in school twice. Both times for a talk on something or other.
We never had any police or security onsite at all in any of the schools I was at.
Wow. This video perfectly articulates one of my problems I've had since moving to America from Asia. I could never really quite place it into words, other than the fact it felt more restrictive for outdoor leisure.
Asian here and I'm bewildered with all these rules and sanctions for making your kid walk to school alone lol
@@mermikk same, I started taking buses to school ever since I was 8, and all my peers did the same. It is hard to imagine how suffocating it must be if I had to go anywhere with my parents before I went to college.
Suburbia is the place where creativity, optimism and curiosity dies.
During my late teens, my father constantly tried to convince me to "go outside, meet people, do stuff; have fun." He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Western city infrastructure is designed against those very things now. Everything is now designed to keep us either in a building or in a vehicle.
my dad and my girlfriends dad constantly tell us this too, but what can we do, where can we go, there is nothing to do and nowhere to go. not even anywhere to walk. you cant even go outside your prison home.
I swear boomers really don’t think about this stuff
Why is it I see thousands of memes everyday of people loving to binge watch netflix or TV shows and how much they loathe socializing of any kind???
The first opportunity you see for a social gathering/festival of some kind... GO TO IT!!! Get away from your television/computer/phone whatever!!!!
@@EM-wo6wf boomers grew up with the same city designs.
@@philb.1120 Probably because experience has shown us that the people most likely to do that are the people we least want to talk to: it's selection bias. I despise small talk and fundamentally fail to engage with the meaningless pleasantries that the average stranger will start conversations with, so unless the subject of a gathering is specifically interesting to me, most conversations with strangers will be actively unpleasant for me unless we immediately hit on a deeper subject that we're both interested in. This, right here, is a much better experience for both of us.
This is so accurate. It's even worse in real rural areas. There was literally nothing I could go do growing up without getting a ride somewhere. No friends within even 10 miles Consider this before you have kids. Are you able to provide them with an independent life where they get to live somewhat of their own life before they get their driver's license?
same, i live on a small outshoot of a road by a ranch on the outskirts of a suburbs and I need my mom to drive me places.
I had a great life on the hobby farm as a kid - I spent a lot of my time exploring the 2 and a half acres of land we had.
@@ARCtheCartoonMaster man I live on 1 acre and it is fun to go into the woods and find plants, turns out dewberries(certain type of blackberries) grow here and are delicious
@@jacksonspitsfax4526 Exactly. I'm like there was a lot they did out there. The animals, bugs, etc. The things you do with nature in every season (swimming, tubing, skiing, hiking, etc) so what is this talk of "nothing to do" whereever these people lived? What? LOL.
@@marlak4203 Didn't have any bodies of water to swim in. No fishing spots. And regardless I'm more of a people person. It's hard for me to enjoy anything if there isn't anyone to enjoy it with.
Once I moved to New Jersey and learned how to ride the bus a whole new world opened up for me. I was able to to everything without having someone drive me around. Before I moved there I was like a prisoner in my own home.
A culture of fear has gripped many cities. I grew up in 1960's Brooklyn, NY and specifically the Bedford-Stuyvesant section. Urban for sure and though there may be more cars these days, there were plenty back then as well. As A kid, I had a bicycle and my friends and myself biked everywhere unafraid of traffic and of going distances without concern. It was a different time. Far less insanity than today. I didn't have helicopter parents either. Kids were much more free back then.
To put it in perspective though.. do you realize between the 60s-70s how much stranger on stranger crime was taking place in north America? I live in a small city, about 100,000 people in Pennsylvania. Between the 60s-70s alone, there was at least 10 stranger on stranger crimes, like child abduction, sex crime murders.. we still see stuff but nothing like that ever since. And I think that's a lot of cities and small towns in the US. It changed how an entire generation raised their children, who in turn raised their children with the same fear/values etc. Now, I do think people tend to underestimate even today what's taking place for real in our country. Yes serial murders are still happening. People are still going missing. Children are having innocence ripped away. I know first hand what kind of danger can exist as a child with a parent not close by or paying attention, by a stranger. Man... I could list them off. Old men trying to get pictures of me in bikinis as a young girl running the neighborhood with no mum, assaults by other school aged children..then as a teenager, constant catcalls, approachings by grown men, once I turned 18,19 there were plenty of strange men waiting to commit crimes on aimless and parentless young women. I'm not saying that it's not better with the European format in other countries... But there is something going on within North America and it has been for a long time. Anyone is liable to become a victim of a psycho or freak accident at anytime. Healthy fear is good. Watching your children is good. If you've never had bad things happen to you or your family consider yourself very lucky. Life is a game of chance. Not all of us get that hand of cards.
When my kids was about 10-12 years old, I started teaching them how to get through an airport. When they were around 13 or 14, I felt confident they would be competent enough to travel by air through Europe. I've always put any responsibility they could comfortable take. The end result is two stubborn, intelligent, inquisitive, self-reliant girls in their twenties with a can-do attitude.
Exactly this. I'm 18 right now but ever since i was 13 I've been flying by myself across europe to visit my split family. With connections any layovers included; both my parents viewed it as completely normal and now I feel extremely confident when travelling anywhere, while many of the people I know here in the UK aren't confident to go.. well... anywhere?
Exactly, teach them early and let them make mistakes young. Then the mistakes are small and learnings are big.
Sir , I'm sorry why not you let them learn Kung Fu, taekwondo or karate? For self protection...
@@nomadenview People buy pepper-sprays for protection. Karate is an art and way of life.
@@nomadenview It's hardly relevant here, but I'd they wanted to, it would have been fine by me.
However, why do you think they need that protection? If you look at the statistics, what kills children is not boogie men. It's every day things like being a passenger in a car. Diseases. Drugs. Parent killing their own children. Smoking.
I can't tell you how many signs I saw that read "slow down, we love our kids" in the suburbs and not seen a SINGLE child in the front yard let alone an adult who wasn't getting out of their car or doing yard work.
Should read: slow down, suburban men mowing grass.
Ahhh....peace and quiet.
Usually the sign reads 'slow down, kids at play'. But usually those are put out when a trend in drivers speeding through a specific area grows. If the trend goes down, the signs disappear and kids can return outside. If the upward trend continues or increases, then the next step is speed bumps or cop cars hiding in driveways. It's all cyclical.
@@ellie6six690 but here's the thing, those same signs have been up for LITERALLY YEARS! I've gone through the same neighborhoods because I delivery part time and use to live in those same areas. Rarely have kids actually been playing.
@@ellie6six690 Those signs only go down if a storm knocks them down. The kids ain't changing their lifestyles at all based on it lol
Came to work in Netherlands as a single, thought would move again after few years. Then I got married and now have 2 kids, and now we are still here after almost 10 years. It is really a nice place for kids. I even rejected "better" work opportunity outside Netherlands because of this. At the end, it is the total balance/ picture; happy kids, happy spouse, happy you, happy career :)
May father when visiting the States in the late 70’s/80’s said _”people would beep at me and think I was crazy to walk”_ . Nothing new under the sun ☀️
Nowadays they wouldn't beep, they would just call 911 and report suspicious behaviour. That's not even an exaggeration.