Thank you for doing this, and for using your real and authentic draft. I really appreciate that you kept commenting on your thoughts behind each decision. I think we can all learn from listening to others, even if we are working on completely different projects. Personally, I've a long way to go before line editing, and I don't really know what I'm gonna feel about it. You, and probably every author, puts so much effort into making the absolute most out of each line and choosing the most suiting words. I guess I'm either gonna love or hate doing all that work. With that said - great work, I'm impressed!
Thank you! I thought I would hate line editing but it surprised me as becoming one of my favorite parts of the process! We all have our favorite parts (I hate first drafts 🤣) but we get to the end eventually! Good luck with your writing!
I enjoyed listening to your approach on handling your actual line edit, as well the overall mindfulness in your recording. I did have a few of word choices to suggest for the last sentence: "As she [withdrew the note], [it] snagged [on a loose fiber], [slipped] from her fingers [and sunk] to the floor, the ink of her own damning cursive on display for all to see." I think this better conveys her attempt to be discreet, which builds up the oh-shit factor when her attempt goes awry, and leaves the reader apprehensive to what happens next.
Wow, the amount of effort that goes into every word choice is daunting. I have a few thoughts of my own, disclaimer, I don't know what I'm talking about so feel free to ignore: In the first paragraph, how about "her father insisted she interact with the other Schaden nobles, holidays were meant for fun, not for schmoozing old men about politics." I would switch the sentence that starts "Elaine had to close her eyes..." with "The frames of passing servants..." In the sentence about the Varnean guests, I would emphasize that it is the light that is causing the suffering, that wasn't really clear to me. Then in the last sentence in that paragraph, "She hoped Tova appreciated the light, after all, it was for them." I'm assuming that Tova is there at the celebration also. I would then emphasize the beginning of the last paragraph to be about Tova. "Thinking of Tova brought her back to her original mission." This will seem really petty, but this bothered me. Change "grasped a scrap" to "grasped the scrap". I mean, how many scraps of paper does she have in there? LOL. Also very petty, but bothered me, "As she pulled it" to "As she pulled it out". I know, I know, but it's kind of like a song that doesn't resolve on the last chord. So anyways, ignore me, you're a much better writer than me, but you did ask. 😁😇
No those are great suggestions thank you! I don’t know what I’m doing either so you’re probably just as qualified as I am 😂 I love seeing how you might craft certain sentences differently
I could watch this all day??? It was incredibly satisfying??? Please do more???
Just for you I will
Thank you for doing this, and for using your real and authentic draft. I really appreciate that you kept commenting on your thoughts behind each decision. I think we can all learn from listening to others, even if we are working on completely different projects. Personally, I've a long way to go before line editing, and I don't really know what I'm gonna feel about it. You, and probably every author, puts so much effort into making the absolute most out of each line and choosing the most suiting words. I guess I'm either gonna love or hate doing all that work. With that said - great work, I'm impressed!
Thank you! I thought I would hate line editing but it surprised me as becoming one of my favorite parts of the process! We all have our favorite parts (I hate first drafts 🤣) but we get to the end eventually! Good luck with your writing!
This was actually super fun to watch, I truly wasn't expecting something this much entertaining. Keep up the good work 👏
I’m so glad! Thank you!
This was really fun to watch! The no-one-right-answer part of editing is really hard for me, I always second guess myself!
I know I love watching other people videos like this for that reason lol
Just to reiterate other comments but I really enjoyed watching this! I’d love to see more
Thank you!! 💛
this was some of the most satisfying content on RUclips - it's like watching someone powerwash but better
Being compared to power washing is the highest compliment I’ve ever received
these are my favorite types of videos IM SO EXCITED
Ahhhh that’s amazing! I’ll for sure make more :)
I enjoyed listening to your approach on handling your actual line edit, as well the overall mindfulness in your recording.
I did have a few of word choices to suggest for the last sentence: "As she [withdrew the note], [it] snagged [on a loose fiber], [slipped] from her fingers [and sunk] to the floor, the ink of her own damning cursive on display for all to see." I think this better conveys her attempt to be discreet, which builds up the oh-shit factor when her attempt goes awry, and leaves the reader apprehensive to what happens next.
Thanks for the suggestions! I’m glad you enjoyed :)
this is so inspiring ❤
Thank you! 💛
Wow, the amount of effort that goes into every word choice is daunting. I have a few thoughts of my own, disclaimer, I don't know what I'm talking about so feel free to ignore:
In the first paragraph, how about "her father insisted she interact with the other Schaden nobles, holidays were meant for fun, not for schmoozing old men about politics."
I would switch the sentence that starts "Elaine had to close her eyes..." with "The frames of passing servants..."
In the sentence about the Varnean guests, I would emphasize that it is the light that is causing the suffering, that wasn't really clear to me.
Then in the last sentence in that paragraph, "She hoped Tova appreciated the light, after all, it was for them." I'm assuming that Tova is there at the celebration also.
I would then emphasize the beginning of the last paragraph to be about Tova. "Thinking of Tova brought her back to her original mission."
This will seem really petty, but this bothered me. Change "grasped a scrap" to "grasped the scrap". I mean, how many scraps of paper does she have in there? LOL. Also very petty, but bothered me, "As she pulled it" to "As she pulled it out". I know, I know, but it's kind of like a song that doesn't resolve on the last chord.
So anyways, ignore me, you're a much better writer than me, but you did ask. 😁😇
No those are great suggestions thank you! I don’t know what I’m doing either so you’re probably just as qualified as I am 😂 I love seeing how you might craft certain sentences differently