Mormons Cant Touch Themselves
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
- In this video, I talk about the Mormons and their odd video. Really, though, it's a propaganda video trying to get people to rat their friends out.
Follow me on Patreon, Twitter, and Facebook:
Patreon: / telltaleatheist
Twitter: / telltaleatheist
Facebook: / telltaleatheist
Discord: / discord
Music: Ether by Silent Partner
"There is darkness in his eyes" I think that's because his eyes are brown
Clever.
I would've say that it's because his eyes have to be rather dark in order for him to see anything, because having lamps were you have photo-detectors make detecting exterior light pretty difficult, but I suppose your explanation is correct too.
No more oppression! Stop hating on the hazel eyes ya jehoovah doofs
It's called the pupil
U must understand how racist they are... one with brown eyes is just the same as one in darkness for them
Mormon teens are also heavily pushed to rat themselves out through bishop interviews. Without his approval, you'll miss out on many social events like temple trips or, more importantly, dances. It's shameful and embarrassing to admit your sex drive to an adult you've known growing up and who is possibly the father of one of your peers. The Mormon church lays sexual guilt heavily on this age group.
And then it gets worse when you realize that mormon leadership requires ZERO COUNSELOR TRAINING WHATSOEVER. There is no point to telling a bishop your problems besides getting punished.
Tur713 And this is also another reason why I wanna quit being a Mormon
As a Mormon I know this for a fact it hurts to lie but we have to do this or else we get punished or shamed so we can’t even tell people that we have a sexual drive so we have to keep it to ourself
Methinks mormon bishops just wanna hear about young kids sex drives.
+Tur713
Mormon teens don't usually rat themselves out 99% of the time, at least among my old Mormon church that I used to go to before I left it. Many lied through their teeth, and not many Mormon teens ever get counseling with their teachers, it's simply not really common.
I swear, these Mormons and their fucking sacred parts 😂
No, see, if they jack off, they won't think, "Aww jeez, I'm so horny all the time, but if I had a wife, I could have all the god-approved sex I want!" And since mormons are raised to be married in the temple, they need a temple recommend, which requires 10% of your gross income to be given to LDS Inc. And I mean, how can they afford to build City Creek Mall 2 without that racket in place?
Spank that 🐒🐒🐵🐵🐵 oh I feel very ddddiiirrtty!!
As a veteran, the fact that they are using imagery of soldiers on the battlefield to push their hateful dogma PISSES ME OFF!!!
.....sorry..... I’m good. I’m good.
omegasight I feel you brother. What branch?
Army. Combat engineer and prime power.
omegasight I'm Navy. Nuclear Machinist Mate.
I can't even imagine what you must have seen or done. I will never see combat, except from the Jets coming back from sorties.
We all have our part to play. My grandfather was navy in WW2.
I mean, I’ll make fun of the other services (it’s what we do), but that doesn’t mean we don’t respect each other.
How hasn't the website Mormon Boyz not made a porn parody of this?! It begins with a dude walking in on another dude and it ends with them with thier (presumably) girlfriends looking each other deep into each other's eyes. It's like the James Bond movie Octopussy, the parody writes itself.
Maybe they did, and you just missed it. Actually, I could swear they did one. I suggest some deeper research on the site. :P
Michael Lewis yep
Touch my sacred parts Jesus-chan.
Jesus-sama
Jesus-kun
Kami-sama
Kirito
Jesus-senpai
Every time he says "don't leave the wounded on the battlefield" in this context it makes me think he is talking about sperm which leads to some hilarious mental images.
Break out the spatula!
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good.....
Take my angry like
i think there was an episode of panty stocking with garterbelt that started with a sperm as soldiers thing but i can't remember which one it was lmao. this shit has me comparing mormons with psg and that's *gold.*
Touch yourself now and you won't get the endless celestial sex on your own planet!
Apophis if only it was real tho
@Jaden CM
It IS real, as real as leprechauns.
Shit I’m too late
😂😂 wtf
"If you need to, talk to your bishop". Do Mormon bishops move only diagonally?
James Christensen Not sure... All I know is they definitely aren't straight 😂
James Christensen get out.... 👉🏞
James Christensen No no no no, stay! A good pun is a good pun.
Lmfao gwetghwrthwryhwar chess jokes
James Christensen 😂😂😂😂😂
I like how some Furry Artists just abducted him into the Fandom lol.
Der Eismann It's great, also is fursona is super cute. (Australian Shepard are the best)
Cactus Yeah the Fursona is super cute. And I like that the design isn't over the top like a lot of other Fursonas
Der Eismann it's very calm and cute
Der Eismann most of the people in discord who are artist are furrys.
Furries: [Grabs Telltale] You're with us now.
Telltale: B-But W--
Furries: _I said you're with us now._
Propaganda at its finest. When I was in the LDS faith, I actually told them that I was jerking off and told my bishop and then he wanted me to go in detail why and what sets me off. And then he told me to take a addiction class and do the steps and meet with him the and missionaries and have a talk about how jerking off is a bad sin and that I’m selfish for doing so. And then they showed me propaganda from the prophet and one of the apostles, it was nerve wracking and decided to tell them after two weeks that I’m all better and I don’t need help anymore. The church has skewed morals on just about everything. I’ve been a ex-Mormon for about two years now, going on three. And it feels nice not to have every member loom over your shoulders, watching everything you do.
Chadwick Cooley damn that sounds kinda traumatic, just fucked up that they freak out about that kinda shit
@@thesisstatement9281 Just fucked up that they even WANTED you to tell them you jacked off and go into detail about it.
Jacking off is healthy
That's so disturbing, but not surprising: neither cults nor mainstream religions are exactly the most active promoters of legitimate personal boundaries or advocates of the rights to privacy, dignity and self-determination they enclose. I also find it extremely bizzare that many groups who are obsessed with what everyone else does with their pants off apparently have not yet figured out that women masturbate too.
"Touch it, up go nuts" - Telltale 2018
Ya I fucked it up xd
Sean Wilkinson “touch, it up go nuts” XD
Their second m is silent.
Marijn Mes underrated comment
As I read this they said don't be silent
It's not...
Nice one.
a neutral opinion it’s a joke, Mormon with no second m is moron
Wtf those AMERICAN soldiers are using SKS’s, a SOVIET Gun
Well technically they didn't say they are American soldiers and I didn't notice any insignia. Although they do look pretty close to WWII or Vietnam era US army equipment.
Why Tho? Hahahaha! It's bizzaro world war 2. I love my SKS but I'm not convinced it would offer anything that the Garand didn't. Maybe some weight reduction and recoil reduction.
No
A sks has a magazine
one sub one plink Depends on your definition of magazine. They have an internal magazine, like the Garand, Springfield, Mosin Nagant, Lee Enfield, etc. Unless you mean detachable magazines, in which case you have to seriously modify it to get that.
Ryan Calhoun What about the long range capabilities? That amazing ladder sight that was shown at work in the video? Truly a monumental advantage against the best battle implement ever designed.
I'm addicted to not dying.
You need to get to the hospital immediately!
Same
senor the king Yeah it's been an epidemic for most of human history
@@rianmulcahy7200 Except almost every human in existence has died, the exception being the 7,000,000+ people alive today.
That water got me hooked
Loving the fursona 😂 but for most of this I was just thinking "the fuck are they even on about?!"
I told you homeboy, _you can't touch this._
The bit about "negatively affecting your life" is actually part of the official clinical definition of addiction. Fyi. ✔️
This reminds me of my friend who had (in my opinion) the most compatible girlfriend he would ever find in his life. His belief in god and pressure from elders telling him that people his age shouldn't have relationships caused him to break up with her. This was one of the first times started doubting the shi++y beliefs I had.
I'm curious what actual servicemen would have to say about this video
Kris Handsome it's horrible that they would even compare something as stupid as this to serving your country, disgusting
Kris Handsome honestly it pisses me off. It minimizes our struggles and sacrifices. Some mormon not wanking it is in no way equal to my friend bleeding out on some highway in Baghdad. This shits got me fuming.
Soo I can't speak for every branch, MOS or subculture but depending on what community one might be in; ratting your comrades out is a HUGE taboo. Even if it's under orders or even to your own chain of command. It's called being a Blue Falcon AKA a buddy fucker.
Now it's a bit of a paradox as you can imagine such an unwritten rule might undermine certain ethical codes and or general organization and unit cohesion; but the general justification for this behavior is too condition soldiers to a point where they will not divulge important information too enemy forces during times of war if one were to be captured.
It's a really weird, confusing and sometimes controversial grey area but the consensus seems to be that such behavior is soo important in the context of war that it is not only acceptable but essentially a duty depending on the context of the secret.
I laugh my ass off, and I'm a multiple service vet (Army and Navy)
Lloydy無神論 Thank you for your service. I'm just beginning my career. What was your rate?
But yeah in case anyone is wondering they ABSOLUTELY showed this video to everyone, on SEVERAL occasions in my years in the church. And yeah the Utah governor declared pornography addiction a public health crisis or some shit, cause ya know that’s WAY worse then something like the rampant opioid abuse in Utah, or say the absolute SHIT air quality...
Brianna Belle god, I remember when i was living In magna. Once, for at least six months there was a 3-day air quality warning nearly every week. It was nuts.
*me: sobbing as i see my crappy sketch up here*
thank u, o gracious one
Fuck I love it when you cover Mormon stuff. CX I remember being young and not even knowing what masturbation was (cause no leader wants to actually explain it) just that it was baaad. Then when I found out I was SO upset cause I’d been doing that and I thought I’d accidentally upset god or whatever. I felt soooo guilty, it was a guilt I carried for YEARS secretly, cause I was too shy to actually talk to a bishop about it (like any preteen girl should feel???) Anyways, I’m so glad I’ve left this all behind
Brianna Belle i didnt even know what a condom was until i was 15 or 16
Okay so since everyone here should be supportive bc cmon its the telltale fandom we are talking about here...im bisexual!
Sorry im just practicing coming out for when I have to do it irl
Daniel I wish you the best of luck when you come out irl. Remember you’re 100% valid! 💙💜💖
At least you can
It's awesome that you've figured that out! You'll know when it's the right time, so just speak calmly and don't overthink it. Best of luck 💗💜💙
I wish you the best of luck with coming out. You are far braver than I.
Hey me too
I must wonder why so many of your fans are furries.
Also, you CAN be addicted to porn. You can be addicted to almost anything, including food... Which is easy to tell by watching 600lb life.
I personally believe that excessive porn can affect anyone negatively, not just married people. For a teenager or young adult, it can lead to isolation, ridicule, and trouble getting intimate with people without the aid of porn. This is only when overused, but can and DOES definitely happen.
I can’t really speak for what’s too much porn, considering that I find it disgusting on a personal level(I’m atheist so it’s nothing to do with god), and I’m also asexual, so... yeah that’s probably the whole reason I know anything about porn addiction. I noticed a few people(very few) around me were CONSTANTLY talking about sex and porn and it made me wonder “does porn addiction exist, or am I crazy for not loving porn?”. Turns out it’s both.
This mindset seems exhausting. The idea that you're in this "Great War" and the rest of the world is against you seems so unhealthy. Great video as always, dude!
When those two looked at one another you had the exact same idea I did 😂 They shared eye contact for the one second and my brain was already pulling out the flashing lights saying “GAAAAAAYY!!! Choking the chicken ain’t his only sin, honey!!!”
How many sepia filters do they need?
Christopher Davis
All of them. It’s very common
Christopher Davis over 9000!
As many as the likes you get. ^^^^
OH DEAR GOD, I'VE SEEN THIS PSA. Okay, porn addiction is BAD and yes, it needs to be fixed, but most people don't watch porn once and suddenly they can't live without it!
Funny, found this after doing what Mormon's can't. T'was great. Poor Mormons...
Well, in all fairness it's not only Mormons. Pretty much all Christian denominations - with the possible exception of a handful of more modern and liberal mini-churches - make a pretty huge fuss about masturbation. Not necessarily in such a simultaneously ridiculous and insulting way, or in an insistent and attention-grabbing way, but they do. Starting with the biggest and oldest one, the Catholic Church, which classifies it as an offense against chastity, a breaking of the 6th commandment, and calls it "an intrinsically and gravely disordered action" (Catechism of the RCC, §2352).
Krrypton Yep. It's a control tactic. However, I am here to dick around with jokes. Thank you, though.
Don't free your Willy
Shay red I love this comment 😂😂
How can you compare masturbation to a war? Pretty overdramatic on the Mormons' part.
3:55 he’s not even looking at porn, the reflection in his eye is just a blank white page, that may or may not have words on it
Does Telltale is a furry?
OwO No, but someone made him a fursona and he showed the art on one of his videos so now there's a ton of furry fan art of him
Nope. He was given a fursona and runs with it cuz well, its adorable
A+ on the grammar.
ANDEEBOY8267 Memes, dude.
"does bruno mars is gay" --> "does telltale is a furry" lol
_Wounded on the Battlefield - Don't touch your weenie with your hand or you get the punishment._
*Starring:* Dylan O'Brian and a homeless guy we picked up on the streets.
What do I choose?
Waifu or Jesus
Waifu or Jesus
Waifu or Jesus?
I choose Jesus...
Nah just kidding
I choose Waifu!
I mean at least Waifu doesn't have a Stupidly High Expectation like Jesus and his Father Yahweh/Jehovah/Allah and Waifu actually brings you Joy (-:
Micheal Hudgens wat
Nope sadasd Oh sorry, I mean since it's about Mormons not touching themselves for God.
Like Religious Extremists of Christian, Catholic, Jewish and Muslim are so obsessed with God.
You know obsessed with "God's Love"
I will admit I'm not the best writer, sorry to confuse you )-:
this community is too nice, i just wanted to meme. I got it first time, sorry for making you feel insecure. :C
Nope sadasd It's all right, I'm self aware that I'm mostly hit or miss.
Micheal Hudgens same
I'm loving the furry Fan art 👌🏿
I'm not.
user.equalto.Null
Boi no one caerz
I can’t think of Mormons without thinking about the Broadway Play “The Book of Mormon” anymore. Great play.
ahh tysm for putting my art in the video !!!!
". And there is darkness in his eyes..." Yeah. Those are called pupils!
damn, i didn't know that. feel real bad for my mormon friend now :/ (i mean, not like i didn't before but)
That furry artwork is pretty damn adorable.
I can see him not having his belt unbuckled...
I look at hentai w/o jerking it at the computer.
I have OCD and don't wanna flip out cleaning it up.
I save the images in my mind for later, when I'm in the bathroom.
Mormons love to micromanage every single aspect of your life. From the clothes you wear, the foods you eat, the movies you watch, the songs you listen too, even who you love! It’s unbelievable. If you try and breakaway they will come to you and try and reel you back in. There’s a reason I’m leaving the “church” as soon as I’m financially independent from my “spiritual” father. Telltale I’d love to thank you for dragging me out of this god forsaken cult.
Someone else might have mentioned this, but the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) *does not* recognize "sex addiction." They recognize Obsessive Sexual Compulsive Disorder, but that's a subset of OCD, not an addiction.
Dude, you truly are an inspiration. Seriously, your strong sense of right and wrong is admirable, and it takes balls to open up about these things. Keep it up, man.
Obvious emotional manipulation is obvious...
When we say there’s a War on Sex we don’t mean it literally!
When your a teenager it's like your supposed to touch yourself. It's actually good for you and completely safe
I heard a story about a Mormon parent who gives his children 50 dollars if they rat out their siblings.
this video is a disgrace to my home state. apparently it was made there, lol.
I reeeeally want to stroll into a church full of Jehovah's Witnesses with my arm around my girlfriend and just sit down. Just to see what they do. (I'm also a girl by the way. That should make it more interesting) *evil laugh*
Maggatrix that sounds like the reaction to that might be funny.
Otaku Man 121 yeah or I could go by myself and when or if people talk to me I will casually bring up "yeah my girlfriend was gonna come too but she had to work longer today" Lmao
Maggatrix that sounds like it would be fun to watch.
I don't want anybody else...
BionicDance when I think about you..
I touch my self!
Lol!
God, I'm glad i stumbled upon your channel. I'm an ex Mormon and i was almost convinced to go back to church, my family kept inviting me over and over and it was tiring me out and i forgot the reason i originally left.
God bless you, man.
I mean that ironically...yes.
I read this as "Mommies can't touch themselves".
I almost choked on my hot cheetos fries when he said "Damn I thought they were going to kiss for a second" because I was thinking the same way xD
thank you so much for these videos, they've really put the church's teachings into perspective. I was born in this cult but as soon as im legally able im removing my records:) thanks again for each video
I do have to disagree with the allowance to touch yourself presented here(as much as I love your videos). I know, from reading the Bible, that in Leviticus it does say touching yourself makes you unclean for a week, and anywhere you sit and any china you touch has to be burned or smashed, so I can understand why some people found that as an inconvenience. But then again, Leviticus isn't the best place to be building a moral compass.
I'd say that an addiction to porn is more like an addiction to gambling than any substance. Masturbation is a mentally healthy thing to do (and safer than unprotected sex). The only time it becomes a problem is when it takes over your life to the exclusion of other things. This video (the Mormon one, natch) is more dangerous than feeling good. Excellent points made, Telltale. Cults are scarily effective at screwing up mental health.
I literally got an add for Christian videos during this oml
Man those 2 guys would make a great couple. Still a better lovestory than twilight
I have an addiction to breathing
Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. - Charles Sinclair Lewis.
Damn,I need to make some fanart of your 'sona some time
Janna Shipper I would love to see that. I'd do so myself, but I kinda suck at doing quadrupeds.
Dude, heroin withdrawal is far more than just flu-like symptoms for a week. The flu-like symptoms are by far the easiest part of that torturous experience. I absolutely love your videos, just wanted to point out this one little thing
Now kissssssss!
I say, "Bash the bishop, don't talk to him!"
So touch it up go nuts
'damn I thought they were going to kiss' You killed me there X'D
This stuff sends shivers down my spine, because I know I probably would have watched it never even know it was Propaganda.
I remember the comrades I lost in the Great Patriotic Masturbation War. I remember all those lost in the Jacking of Stalingrad.
Well than they are the masters of no nut November
Oceanic Camred No nut 2018 damn
8:55 didn’t hear any trumpets there. Some woodwind, French horns and maybe trombones
Oh yeah I remember this video. Good times, good times.😂
They're playing POOL!!!! The Devil's Lure!!! Almost as bad as premarital sex, which could lead to even WORSE things, ya know...DANCING! 😄 (Sorry for the Southern Baptist joke.)
Yo telltale you fanboy with your shipping.
He never asked people to rat-out to the entire congregation. He he ask for people to tell the authoritative figures. (Behind closed doors) the LDS church is a big proponent for privacy. The whole congregation doesn't need to know. It's always been that way
I want to make fanart but idk if you’d like it lol (it’d very likely be drawn traditionally)
DO IT
JUST
I drew mine traditionally he likes all fan art as long as it has effort into it
Then I might give it shot as well.
awww dang that fursona that people have made for you is adorable! :3
First!
Dude great video. I feel you I grew up Mormon and thank god I got out if it. If you ever make more videos about more Mormons feel free to reach out.
Rubbing one out is normal. Not doing it is actually the abnormal condition. Generating guilt about this and other aspects of sexuality is a mind control technique.
His room mates know, but they do nothing to help him. Uh, what do you suggest ? 🤣
There is also alot of sexism in the church. For one, the women cant do NEARLY as much as men can do. AND one time my mom was talking to the bishop about some family issuses with my Dad. My mom told her side of the story and so did my dad. And he basicly told my mom she was being ridiculous. that made really mad
Dude where's the link to the conference? I'M IN DALLAS I WANNA THANK YOU FOR OPENING MY EYES
I am Orthodox and I don't think I've ever been condemned for being a wanker (because that's what I am frankly). Just looking at these, and listening to what they're saying, and with what conviction... It's comical and disgusting at the same time... They are cults, they are heretics and they are out to woo you with sweet words and ironclad conviction only to dominate you. And I honestly feel both extreme hate and pity for those people.
Great video man, like always. Your drawings, the music you use and everything you say is just, well, beautiful. Keep on keeping on, mate.
Genesis 38:9, "And Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so it came about that when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground, in order not to give offspring to his brother."
That's the verse that is twisted to say that...it's focusing more on disobedience than the jizz on the ground lol
My friends mom wen to my house one Saturday after field service to ask me if I had seen her son doing anything wrong. She told me that if I ever did, that it was my duty to tell her as soon as it happened so they can help him. I never ratted my friend out.
As a soldier who was on a real battlefield, this shit is insulting. I hate when they try to compare their shitty ideology to an actual fucking war.
I listen to your videos while playing games (with audio boost) and 8:31 scared the shit out of me
Yo Telltale !
You made a fine speech at the end of the video to which i would like to comment. As humans we are all bound to make mistakes in our time, some lesser, some greater, doesn't matter. However what separates a good person from a bad one is that a bad will never truely identify his/her mistakes and act accordingly. Only a good person can, does not matter how long it takes or if outside help is required. In light of all this you definitly are a good person in my book.
I think you need to be careful not to confuse pornography with masturbation. Pornography has negative impacts on mental health such as higher rates of aggressive behaviour and depression in those who watch it while masturbation actually reduces stress and depressive symptoms. People shouldn't be ratted out for watching porn but it's not completely harmless either.
I think porn can be an addiction if it takes up so much time of your life that basic things like hygiene or food intake are impacted regularly.
I feel that this could also be turned against them.
"Let the public and officials know. Don't leave the wounded people on the battlefield. The devil is telling you to stay and be committed without question. Help a brother up."
Or, something like that.
DAMMIT I WAS SO READY FOR THEM TO KISS OMG
What a 'touching' story they had there
I'm assuming you said some very good points but I got distracted by the drawings of the sexy women. I'll try watching again later.
When I was 20, I was still partially living under the rule of my parents. They were my landlords although I had a different house. I had grown up in a very conservative Christian home, though at about 14, I started digging deep and by 16 I was deconverted. That was hard on me. It still is. But back to the 20 years old thing. I had been working for my parents and grown dependent on them. On the night of my fiance's 21st birthday, my dad got drunk and waved a gun around at us, stating that if any of us were Muslim, he would shoot us on the spot. I haven't seen or talked to them since. I actually have a mini panic attack thinking about possibly running into them. This is far from the full story, but a good gist of it. Every video of yours I watch helps me. Especially since hearing of your own personal dealings with a similar situation. I just wanted to thank you and let you know that your videos are doing a good thing by helping people in situations like this.
Wow I can’t believe that video actually exists. That’s crazy that someone could make and deliver and believe that sort of propaganda.