Moms, You're being LIED to! // You can't have it all...
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- Опубликовано: 12 май 2021
- I shared this video in my private community - but I felt it was important to share here too. The pressure to be ALL THE THINGS is intense for moms today, but what is really possible? If you're searching for some peace, I hope this video helps you :)
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The two best things I've ever learned: Others' opinions of me are none of my business and "No," is a complete sentence.
Not having social media in my life, no Facebook, instagram, tiktok, pintest etc supports me in thinking only about myself and my loved ones. Instead of thinking about what everyone else is doing.
I agree. Getting off FB was one of the best decisions for me as well. It was such a time-sucker and often made me feel depressed.
Yes!!! So true. I rarely get on FB. When I do I usually compare myself. It is hard not to. I am definitely more at peace when I stay off.
What's sad is that an older woman laid into you as a mother. I have found the older I get the more I understand and learn. I was far more judgemental as a young mom than I am now as a grandmother! You have a beautiful family and work hard! Blessings!
Yes, yes and YES!!!!
My husband and I have 6 children under 10.. i needed to hear this so bad today.. everyday i get down on myself that im not "pinterest" worthy.. but no, my children are healthy, clothed, fed and amazing wonderful little people and thats pretty alright. 😍
Amen!
I have 5 children under 9 and I feel the same way!
Amen
I have 7 children ages 10-1 month old and I could have written your comment.
I needed this....my mom came to visit from Colombia and saw my 2yr old eating her meals by the tv (she reduses to eat at the table with us) and for me is eat wherever you want but eat. My mom on the other hand has told me a million times "I would seat with you for hours in the table until you finished eating" and I am like yes, you didn't have anything else to do and you had help. I am 6 months pregnant, just graduated from my master's degree two weeks ago, I have to make lunch for everyone, clean the kitchen afterwards so I don't have the time nor the energy to have my daughter screaming on a chair for hours when she's eating perfectly fine in the living room....😑 it's exhausting.
Preach! I recently had a baby (3 kids under 5). We just hired a house cleaner for the first time and I almost cried from gratitude. I didn’t realize how bad I needed help.
Good for you, well done! I am a mom of 4, I have been slowly letting go of these notions of perfection, I am very overweight and feel tired all the time, I only wish I had gotten help when I needed it and not try to be everything to my husband and kids.
I genuinely thought I could do it all. I thought there was something wrong with me when I couldn’t. But there’s only 24h in a day and I can’t give 100% to my daughter, give 100% to my husband, give 100% to my students (I’m a high school teacher), and do all the chores, the organic food and the cloth diapers and find time for sleep and hobbies all in the same day. When I realized that is when I found peace.
What did you end up changing to help you find more balance?
Loved this Angela! We can’t be it all, have it all, wear 1000 hats, have 1000 pets, have flower/ veggie garden, buy all the things now, have the perfect home, etc. God calls us to number 1 be a ministry in our home and take care of our kids, educate our kids and cook healthy meals to sustain them -everything else is extra. I like to think if I wake up, homeschool, cook healthy meals and keep my house semiclean that I have been successful. Satan wants us to believe we can do it all and that what we are doing is good. God is calling us all to simplify and to come back to the core, to the simple. He is calling us back to him.
God bless you, mama. Also, our worthiness isn't determined by our productivity level. This is so hard to remember in our culture.
As a working homeschooling mom I literally never have a day off and it’s been more and more challenging to me with a husband that’s gone 10-11 hours a day. I recently said “I can’t do it all” and hired someone to help me clean. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! We are by no means wealthy but I made space in the budget for this!
I can apply this concept to feeling pressured to get my child involved in everything...the pressure says "If you don't get him in soccer, baseball, basketball, piano, karate, etc...then you are not setting your child up for success." What a LIE! My husband and I purposely limit activities to have a slower pace, and to be able to afford a comfortable home, instead of running ragged and on Empty all the time. We DON'T have to hand over our sanity card for the sake of our kid's "success" in life. I would venture to say that those kids that are in 5+ weekly activities feel pressured to perform at very high standards, taking that unhealthy expectation into their adult years, which also carries a depth of disappointment when they cannot find success in everything they do. My point = let go of what others expect of your family - do what works and feels right for YOU!
I used to teach at a school and run before and after school programs. There was one family that had their children in the before school program that started around 6:00am, they were in school all day, came to the after school program that ended at 5:00pm, then after all of that also had another activity or class (karate, music etc.) to go to before going home. I always felt so sad for them because they basically only saw their parents in the car between activities. But as you said, it was a family that wanted their kids to have "success" and felt that was how to achieve it.
You are SO right! As a mom of 3, I am now realizing how over scheduled I was as a child and how much pressure that put on me at too young of an age!
Yes!!!
Such a well-stated, important point. God bless you!
That was so helpful for me. Thank you! I stayed at home with my 3 children for 10 years when they were babies and preschoolers. Once they were all at school, my marriage ended and I found myself looking for employment after a long absence from the workforce. I come from a Health Promotion and Exercise Prescription background, and so decided to develop a women's group fitness programme. This suited me initially, as I still had flexibility to help at school, take my children to their hobbies and run our household. Now, fast forward 3 years, I'm in fulltime employment working as a Tertiary Level Physical Education Teacher and struggling to find time for anything! I am financially stable, but my balance has completely gone. I rush around every morning, starting at 5am to shower, dress, put the washing on, tidy the house, do dishes, fold laundry, make lunches, get the children up and fed, feed the animals, get out the door at 8am. Drive to work in peak hour traffic and arrive less than 10 mins before starting my lessons. Finish at 5pm and drive back home in peak hour traffic to arrive at 6pm. Then its straight into cooking dinner, eating together as a family, clearing up, doing the dishes, getting the children showered and ready for bed, doing homework, reading a bedtime book, folding the washing, prepping for work in the morning and falling into bed exhausted at 10pm. I don't know how to do this a better way. I feel the weight of this routine on my shoulders, the guilt of the time I once had with my children compared to now, when there is so little. Weekends are busy with household cleaning, grocery shopping, Saturday sports and trying to make time for family and friends. I try very hard to keep Sunday completely free from responsibility so that we can do things together as a family. I won't lie though, part of me would love nothing more than to sit down with a good book (yours was excellent by the way) and a cup of coffee, just to unplug from this madness for a while!
Seriously I’m putting this in my playlist for when I need a pep talk.
Things I’ve learn for myself: (general thoughts and not a preach to anyone else just things I’ve come to terms with for myself 😊😊)
1) Stop with the side hustles: if it was profitable and worth my time and energy, it wouldn’t be a side hustle it would be my main focus.
2) you are not a servant in your own home just because you decided to be a wife and mom. I’m still me and an equal person in the household and everyone in our house pulls the same weight. My husband grocery shops and cooks 50% of our dinners ( I hate shopping and cooking and that’s okay! He like it and that’s okay too)
3) on the back of number 2; (as my kids of gotten older, younger ones is a different season) they don’t have to have my solo focus every minute of the day. I’m allowed to sleep in when I’m tired, I’m allowed to have quite time to myself with out holding on to guilt. We homeschool and I don’t have to juggle this elaborate classroom.
4) you can have the life you want by say no to the things you truly don’t want to do. You don’t have to “do it all”! Seriously you don’t have to do it all! I don’t have a side hustle, or juggling a million “called to passions”, I don’t make obligations with people or things I don’t want to do. Sometimes simplifying the things you think your suppose to be doing and start doing the things you really want to do, brings endless amount of peace and joy.
As a mom + executive producer for a news station, I needed to hear this today 🙏🏻
Been feeling like a failure from my messy house & going with the easiest meals for my baby. And giving her too much screentime. You really can’t do it all. So why do we feel this shame.
Thank you for addressing this. I am a Mom of 7 and I also take care of a 2 yr old whose Mom is learning to be a Mom. I work nights full-time at a hospital because my passion is healthcare, and I love my patients. I work part-time nights at another facility. I batch cook so my family always has healthy homemade meals. I keep a spotless house. I have let go of a social life. I miss my friends, but I have chosen my family and career. If I have free time, it is spent with my family. My children go to a wonderful public school system. My husband and I work very hard to afford a beautiful 5 bedroom house in the city so I don’t have to homeschool or pay private tuition. I gave up the new vehicles and expensive clothes for them. I love the Lord, but gave up personally attending church on Sunday because I work that night. I gave up volunteering at the schools because I had to let something go. Mom shaming is a real thing that needs to stop. I am a great Mom, my children are healthy, intelligent and do all of the things that kids with SAHMs have. Still, people shame me for choosing to be away at night to work, not coming on that field trip, not being in church on Sunday, not coming to their cookouts, not having “girl nights”. In this season, I have chosen my family and my career. I will NEVER regret this. I am blessed to have a loving husband, extended family, and ex-husband that makes all of these possible for me. I am grateful to God for my ability to help others. This is a season. I will miss this one day.
You are spot on!!! I’m a 54 year old mom of two. A grown son and a 15 year old daughter that i homeschool. I’ve also been married for 35 years to my high school sweetheart. I’ve experienced trying to have it all at the same time, and for me, it was impossible to keep up and do everything well. Lists are good!! Saying no to unnecessary obligations is so powerful and freeing!! Love this and love your practical advice!! Blessings my sweet sister in Christ! 🌺
As someone who’s about to pop out her first baby in a few weeks-thank you . ♥️♥️♥️
As a older mom and grandma Angela, I commend you of wisdom! And for the record, I am a 60s baby and had my kids in the 80s. It was challenging times certainly. The times of today in my thoughts are much more pressure driven than at any other time in history to be it all, do it all, and to have it all. Whatever "all" means is highly subjective and as you have said, the same thing is not right for one person to the next. As an older women, I am so proud of women today and men too who recognize that we choose what is right for us and do the best we can at any point in time. The fast pace and constant change is mind boggling. Never before have sayings like, stop and smell the roses resonate so much. It will be nice to see people show grace and respect to one another. What you said about having it all and just not having it all at once is so wise! I admire and appreciate you sharing!
Thank you for making this. I have been feeling really down. I am a new mom of twins and a new wife. I’m trying to learn this new role and in the back of my head I need to start school again, work out, wear make up, keep up my style, travel, have side hustles etc. Seeing all these women on social media seeming to have it all together does not help. Again, thanks for making this and being so transparent.
As someone who wants to start a family in the near future, thank you. So refreshing.
I am so sorry you were berated for using a package of anything! I am an older woman...and I applaud you for being able to even put sentences together! You do you Boo!!!!
Amen!! Agree 100%. This reminds me of meeting an older lady in a grocery store once. I was a busy mom of little ones at the time. This lady shared how she had always ironed and starched her 6 children's clothes. Then she said, "I wish instead of taking all that time to starch and iron their clothes, I had spent that time with them." Anything that helps give us more presence with our children is a blessing. We are lucky to have options for things, like healthy pre-made meals, that give us more time to be with our kiddos and help us to be less stressed out moms.
Very well said! As a woman, I am in a different season (I'm 62 and retired school teacher) and I am finally getting to take some of those things off the shelf. I have always had to chose what was most important AT THAT TIME. I have 3 daughters and while raising them I also went back to college to get my degree so I could teach. At that time priorities were different and realized I couldn't "do" it all. I had to chose. As my children grew, priorities were constantly changing and choices were changing as well. All my girls have left home and even now priorities are still changing and I realize that there is only one big thing that we cannot make more of and that is time. Make your choices and be happy with your choices, and quit allowing the world to take your peace!
I realized in my 60's that I hate cleaning my house, so we found a service and had cleaners once a week. Once things got under control we shifted to once a month. On the day our cleaners come my husband and I walk into the house after they leave and we honestly say a prayer of gratitude for being able to afford this gift. But, I do love to cook so I cook the majority of our meals and try to be very frugal in the use of our food and again we are very grateful to be able to afford good wholesome food. I also freely acknowledge that these are choices I have made. I never had a career but I've had a wonderful full life. Thank you so much for this message.
I’m from Finland but living in Tanzania where having help is normal. Like you said even the poorest people have help. For the first years I would hear from my family comments like “you need to vacuum your own dust” or “why would you let someone else cook for you” definitely implying that I’m lazy. But the reality is that those things off my plate, I have more space for the things that truly matter for me. Having help at home means that I can be more present in my kids lives, watch them at sports, run my business, and have energy in the middle of the night to take care of my diabetic child. It took a lot of work to let go of the pride, the attitude of never asking for help ingrained in me. Not to feel embarrassed that I do let someone else wash my laundry. But once I did, it felt like a weight lifted from my shoulders. I don’t have to do it all. I can ask for help.
I'm a 65 year old grandma raising 3 grandsons alone..I lost my husband. It doesn't hurt to feed your family a poke packaged meal. You make good meals... I've seen your grocery haul and watched you and CR cook. That woman is totally out of line. She most likely wouldn't make it if she walked in your shoes. Don't take it to heart. You are an awesome mom and wife. Keep your head high. God Bless You.
I really needed this today. As a mom of 3 who works, goes to school, and takes care of the household; I am so exhausted. It’s good to hear I’m not the only one! 💜🌸🌺💕
I remember growing up staying outside 99 percent of the day and playing with cousins etc..now we can't even do that. Our parents and generations before us didn't have that 100 percent of mental exhaustion , they just sent their children outside till the sun went down, and family right down the street to help and be there.
Comparisonitis is definitely something that’s overrated with social media. I see so many people trying to keep up with others.
Being where you are is a beautiful thing.
This is soooo true. Your analogy of the pizza 🍕slices is spot on. We all struggle with the phrase “keeping up with the Jones” we are all so hard on ourselves sometimes but we truly have to do what makes us happy xx
And add on caring for your elderly parents with health issues 🥺 My mom was just like this woman, and now her mental and physical health are suffering for not taking care of herself. It’s heartbreaking for our family 😔
I said this exact thing to my husband. As perfectionist, we want the best and we become so hard on ourselves when we feel like we're failing. Remember to have grace with yourself and to stop worrying what other people think.
I let go of a blog, church ministry, and several other things that were good things, just not necessary for me in my time of life right now, so that I could fully enjoy my teenagers' senior year in high school. We homeschool and I wanted to make their senior year wonderful and memorable. I also wasn't giving my husband enough love and attention and I was able to give him more quality time by giving up these other things. It did not come without moments of guilt or struggle, but I have no regrets! Thank you for this much-needed message, Angela!
Thanks for this! Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m treading water in the ocean in a storm, just trying to make a little headway but the waves keep crashing over me and I’m starting to sink. There is a lot of pressure that I put on myself to do it all, which often comes from comparing myself with others. Or insecurity and trying to prove that I matter, that I’m not a failure, and that I’m actually good at this crazy thing called motherhood. The truth is, I guess I’ve been trying to do it all instead of laying it at Jesus’s feet and admitting I can’t do it all and that I need help.
The ideas in society of mothers seem to just continually increase while no one else is expected to do more. Thankful to have a partner in life who is supportive and contributes and has walked a mile in the shoes of staying home and knows how hard it is.
30 weeks pregnant with baby #5...while our oldest just turned 7. It's a crazy and beautiful season - and I so so needed this encouragement today.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this! I am a mom of 5 including an extremely medically fragile little girl with a super rare condition and a special needs son with autism. My kids are everything to me but that doesn't mean it's not hard. I have always been that mom that enjoys the Pinterest crafts and decorating my house to be current and making my kids homemade organic meals. Now that I can't do everything I want to do I feel defeated and insufficient. What you said today felt like you were speaking directly to me. You are so right, we can't do everything all at once. It's just not possible and it has caused me so much depression and anxiety! I really needed to hear this! You are amazing and I'm so happy to have found you and your channels!
My father cooked. When I grew up my sister cleaned. I remember mom sewed tired and she loved to drive. She also was dying of cancer. Known one should judge. My hubby helps me a lot because of my chronic migraines. You are fabulous. God bless you.
Angela, believe me, as a 65 years old woman: your the best! A realy one of a kind. 💚💚💚
I wish I could "LIKE" a video more than once. THANK YOU! This is so spot on!! I needed to hear this! I am letting go of the guilt of not being able to do everything! Work from home, wife, mom of a teenage daughter doing online school, mom to a 4 year old boy in Preschool, clean house, cooking..... etc.
I am crying watching this because I have lived my life being a perfectionist not wanting to ever let anyone down. In 2016 I started having serious health issues to the point I thought I was slowly dying literally. I am much better now but I still have so much I just have to accept I can no longer do and so many things that I have to accept that I can't do to the level I want to. I don't have kids at home thank goodness but I feel this video more than I have felt one in a long time.
To that "older" woman who unkindly responded to your meal. My mama taught us and always told us "If you don't have anything friendly, kind, or nice to say, then say Nothing at all" She is just a bully and it makes her happy to be mean to others.
I wish all young women and middle aged women alike could see your video. And take it to heart. God bless you. Well said.
I remind myself that my kids are more important than any other amount of people that will benefit from my passion projects. It helps keep my priorities on check.
So, so true!
I have a hard time letting go of my own expectations even for a season.
I spend so much time in prayer with God and Our Lady to comfort me and give me the strength and peace to make good decisions!
I 100% agree! I just had this conversation with a few people I work with. We realized that not only do we have unrealistic expectations but we also need to have empathy & understanding that EVERYONES situation is different. We need to end shame & guilt all together. I love the top 3 things. That's how I attack my endless task list. I have my top three that are a MUST to be done each day. Anything more (which hardly ever happens) is a bonus. Thanks for the video!
All women NEED to hear the message in this video.
...especially single mother's.
Thank you so much for speaking out and speaking truth.
I'm 41, and have been a mother for almost 23yrs. Baby #6 on the way. I wish women would have been sharing and encouraging this videos message along my journey as a mother. We need to remove the pressure to be it all, and just be the best we can be in those 3 area's, as you speak of.
I haven't thought, for a long time, what I actually want my life to look like. Thanks for this!
This was so good and encouraging. Something I realized is that as a mama who also has a farm, I can't do all the a bunch of "mama groups" or stuff a bunch of town mamas do. I need to tend to my chickens, garden, cows, ect. It's a great life for me and my kids, but I can't have it and still do a lot of the things my friends in town do.
Beautifully said like always! It is extremely hard being a modern woman not that I don’t love it but it is hard! So I really applaud every single one and what they do every day even when they are struggling 🙏🏻
I hope you know how freeing, true and wise these words are! Thank you so much!
I cried listening to this. Thank you for sharing my thoughts so clearly ❤️
I slowed down my life a few years ago for this very reason, I was a wife, mother to five who all had after school sports etc, worked a full time job, my husband worked away four weeks out of five and I had no help! I was Miserable!! I changed my life and I’m a much happier person now!
In generations past when women grew their own food, sewed clothes, all those things, often had the grandparents living nearby or even with them. There was ready help available. Good talk!
Part of feeling freedom in my motherhood is getting off the hamster wheel of what everyone does and thinks. Avoiding social media really helps!
Truth! Thank you for this! I’ve always said, “if satan can’t get us in our weaknesses, he’ll try to get us in our strength”.
- Tammy
When I get the guilty feelings of not being able to do it all I repeat to myself "I'm doing the best that I can"
I needed to hear this. My mom was a stay-at-home mom would made all the meals, etc. I thought I needed to do all of that stuff to, but I work a full-time job. It's taken me a long time to realize that it's ok if you grab takeout, or a freezer meal or if my kid wants to eat the same thing all day long. She's fed, healthy and happy that I'm using my time doing things with her.
Thank you for using your platform to share this. We have to be intentional about what REALL we want in our lives. It’s all in different seasons.
I recently let go of social media because it was taking over my mind, I realized I didn’t like the person or mom I was when I was using it. It is still a struggle to stay away from it but I can tell that everyone in my house is happier!
Bless your heart ♥️ Thank you for standing up to the negative people of this world. Many blessings to you and yours! I love your hair and eyebrows 😆
Such an amazing message 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 any time you hear yourself saying “I should” just step back and think - ‘says who?’ Taking care of yourself is more important than pleasing some judgemental members of society 🙌🏻
AMEN SISTER!!
Love you Angela!
🌻💛🌻
Thank you for this message! I wish I had heard this when I was a young mom. But instead I get to send it to my daughter-in-law‘s to bless them.
Lots of truth, something that is very important I think is praying over what your three should be in your given season and realizing that even those three you will not do well without the Holy Spirit. Apart from Him we can do nothing and true peace is in Christ. If we abide in him we can have peace and fulfillment no matter our circumstances. That’s probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned this year.
Just today I was feeling overwhelmed by all the things, what a reminder to take them to the Lord!
This is so good for me. I have two toddlers right now. I’m not a natural organizer so I’m really struggling just to spend quality time with my kids which is most important to me and being clean and organized. So, thank you.
I was told the Proberbs 31 woman ( the unattainable perfect Christian woman) wasn't all those things at once, she too conquered each thing, in a particular season of her life. This brought me so much peace!!!😃
Totally agree, we tend to do many things at once, then (in my case) I get sick and I’m forced to slow down. We have to learn how to say no to certain things at certain times
I pretty much slow clapped you the whole video while nodding my head over and over and over again. Thanks for championing us mums!
This video was so exactly me..... I have 5 boys 10, 8, 5, 2, and 2 weeks old..... I am two weeks post partum... I breastfeed, homeschool, have two RUclips channels and an Etsy shop as a side hustle, I am on the worship team and am the event planner and decorator for our church.....
For me, it isn't wanting to be like anyone else, that has never bothered me. It is keeping up with the expectations I have on myself. I expect the impossible out of myself, but give everyone else all the grace in the world....
I'm a new mama of a 4 month old 💙 First baby of Lod willing many more to come. This was so encouraging to me because I'm really noticing this transition or all the "responsibilities" I "should be doing". But this video really made me feel like it is ok to say no to things and not worry about what everyone else is doing.
Trust me grandma and great grandma would/did use prepackaged foods if they were available!!!! I am glad you didn’t pick up what Ms Judgy Pants put down. I am in my 60’s and do not regret using packaged foods so I could get more time to make happy memories with my family. Great message Angie! Thank you for sharing.
We have a son with several special needs, both physically and mentally. He is our top priorty, always will be. My husbond works hard so we can save money and thereby ensure his future happiness and wellbeing. Im a full time mum and sometimes when it feels like it is all too much, i sit down next to our son and think. I cant do it all, but im there for him! That is the most importain and top of the list. He doesnt care if the house is not clean ect. (It has helped alot to simplify our home the best way we can. Less time doing house work). I also need to remind myself that some of the things i WANT to do have to wait. It i not always easy, but this mindset you are talking about has helped alot in the past, present and i know it will again tomorrow.
Thank you for sharing.
(My husband and I share an account that’s why the name on this comment is Joel lol)
My husband and I have 4 children under the age of 4. This is exactly exactly what I needed to hear today! I just finished listening to Dutch Sheets’ Give Him 15 and it was about Martha and Mary and how Martha got so wrapped up in the busyness of life that she lost sight of what is most important. It’s spending time with our Jesus! And going from there every day. But also just finding the balance in every day life. I am so encouraged by this video and so appreciate you stepping out to speak about the reality of mom life today! May God bless you as you use this platform He’s given you for His glory!
Thank you for this video! It takes a village to raise a family and I really wish it wasn’t so “shamed” for wanting and needing a village
Thank you for the good word! We MUST stop judging on each other bc #1 it is a sin, and #2 it is a sin bc it tears others down rather than building them up. We really should pray for the unhappy woman who left the critical comment. Judgemental people are ALWAYS desperately unhappy people at their core. Truly sad. Thank you, Angie, for always representing motherhood in an honoring way❤
This was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much for posting this video. There's so much pressure to "prove" oneself by doing "all the things," and it's really impossible, and results in the most important things not getting the attention they truly need. I am excited to share this video with my sisters and other mom friends.
This brought me to tears! Been struggling lately on when to try for a baby and deep down realizing I have so many things in my life that I need/want to focus on and I shouldn't get pregnant because I feel pressured by others. Thank you for reminding me that I can be at peace with my own decisions and priorities.
Thank you! Needed this! I’m pregnant with baby #2, have lupus, and am a pastor’s wife. I am also a passionate want to do everything person. Have never thought about this perspective before.
Thanks so much for sharing. ❤ Years of infertility and loss have taught me that we definitely can't have it all. That being said, I am also learning to find even more joy and fulfillment in the things I can have. It's so important to be given the permission to prioritize. And for that prioritization to be individualized based on God's calling for us and our season of life. For me right now my priorities are 1. Health (specifically fertility related), 2. Growing my business, 3. Improving my homemaking skills. Thank you so much for this encouragement. ❤
This is BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up thinking my home is a BURDEN ( I can't possibly accomplish everything today) but I can, not today....but I can get started. Some is better than None!
I’m a high school teacher turned stay at home mom. Today I’m letting go of the idea that I need to do “school” at home with my 2 and 3 year olds (obviously a very loose term). Going to focus on bringing in letters and numbers organically whenever. I want them to feel joy about learning and I feel pressure to teach in a prescribed way that doesn’t work for my family
I can relate to what you saying. Living in South Africa we had 2 maids, a garden service once a week and a full time gardner. Thinking back it was not okay to be so prejudiced, even if it meant work for those poor people. When we moved to europe, boy was it hard on me. Had to suddenly care for three kids, run a household and taking care of a three thousand square meter garden with lots of apple and nut trees. i grew into my task and it made me a better person. I learned to much. Today I bake, cook, clean, gardening, everything from scratch. Also closer to nature. Angela you a super mom. Do whats best for you and your family. I think you a remarkable woman.
I am a mom of 5, 4 boys and a bonus daughter. I was the baseball, softball, PTA, working 60+ hours and home everything... I burned out. I wish I would have learned to say no and self love. Now, recovery from the burnout has been so mentally hard.
Soo true!!! In my home country El Salvador my mom always had help and we were middle class families she was a stay home mom. Here I wish I could afford help to keep my house clean I’m a single mom trying my best to keep up!!!
Thank you!!!
This resonated so much with me. I am one of those mamas that feels that I have to be all things to all people. I want to be more for myself and my family and to do that, letting go of the expectation I put on myself is necessary. Thank you for this message of love and truth! ❤️❤️
Coming to the realisation that is OK the say no to even the good things (something I learned from you) has been life changing
This is very sound advice!! I came or a similar conclusion about 3 years ago. I had 2 friends I really admired and I compared myself to them. They seemed like they did it all, worked, raised children, kept house and garden, kept fit and did some community work. I felt like a failure sometimes with not being able to do as much. Then in the space of 2 months both of their marriages fell apart. I still love and admire these women but I no longer compare myself or expect as much of myself. You never really know what goes on in others lives. It’s best just to focus of your lane and abilities as it will be enough.
Very well said, Angie.
Speaking things I've had to give up, or put on hold, rather, is my photography business. I simply cannot juggle that on top of a recent move, hurricane recovery and homeschooling. It's just too much. I miss it, sure. But I also feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulders and I'm okay with that. 🙂
I heard once, that you're juggling all these balls...but three are glass, those are the priorities to focus on and be the most careful with in this season. You dont have to drop the other balls, but it is ok if they hit the floor, they are just plastic. That visual helped me. Love this video and the real life pep talk!💗
Someone told me there is no such thing as work life balance. There is only harmony. It was huge. I still struggle. And working full time from home is hard because I feel like I have two full time jobs. It’s so hard. This was such a great video. Thank you.
I also think society constantly wants more. Good point we can't do it all. I'm currently in a bad place when I'm constantly telling myself how much more I need to do.
I wish more of us were saying this aloud. No, I can't do ALL the things. I was just in my local creator/small business think tank and this month's topic was outsourcing. There is NO SHAME in outsourcing tasks you don't have time or the sanity for. Would you rather spend an entire day cleaning while your kids beg for your attention OR hire a cleaning lady once/month to do the deep clean while you take your kids to the park? Exactly.
My grandmother took care of her and grandkids and great grandkids. She was always cooking and cleaning. I love her for that. My kids i work two jobs thank god for take out 😀
Wow, Angela! This post was beyond excellent & ENCOURAGING! You're exactly right. Reasonable expectations, timing & no mom guilt. I would add that the list may need to include people- people in our lives that bring us joy, & people that need to be more distant for mental & emotional health. Perhaps those people may reenter our lives in a different season, but if those people are toxic to your joy &/or your marriage &/or your children, in the current season, it's ok to move on for a while. Good stuff.
Normally I don't like sitting videos so much, but.....it was so good and IMPORTANT!!! Thank You very much, Angela 😘
I have watched your videos for years but I don't usually comment. I too have 8 children, some biological and some adopted. We also bought our first little 5 acre "farm" almost 2 years ago. We have 2 Great Pyrenees, 36 chickens, 2 adult cats, and 6 baby kittens that were born on our farm. I really needed and appreciated this video. My husband and I recently decided to stop the madness of competitive sports for our children. It has been 8 years of constant travel, expense, and being on the go 6 to 7 days a week. I prayed and cried about it for so long because it was such a hard decision. But ultimately I felt God letting me know that something had to change and it needed to be the sports. It is a bit sad and it is definitely hard, but ultimately I think it will be the best decision and in time we will see that. Thank you for speaking truth. I really love your videos and everything you're doing
Im from Argentina and here it is super common for middle class families to hire some sort of help in the house, with cleaning or babysittting. Though we have a lot of informal type working situations, so the prices are actually lower bc in many cases they dont pay taxes and insurance for their employee.
Btw your book just arrived and Im very excited to read it!
Thank you for sharing. This made me realise that I keep falling back in the trap of chasing the sameness not realising that I am happy how I live my life.
Definitely needed to hear this today. Due any day with baby #2, homeschooling my daughter, and so many things I need to do as well as a bunch of things I want to do. Then comes the things I feel I need to do, but if I analyse they're not truly something we can do in this season. Thank you so much for the reminder to check and not compare, but to live our lives for Christ and in the season He has us in.