A Routine Weapons Inspection | HFY | A short Sci-Fi Story

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  • Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
  • This story was granted permission to narrate and add to RUclips by the Author: u/FoxKorp
    Story Link: / a_routine_weapons_insp...
    ..And...Why not subscribe and turn on notifications? I post new stories everyday!
    #scifi #hfy #scifistories1977

Комментарии • 104

  • @mikkelnpetersen
    @mikkelnpetersen 9 месяцев назад +185

    "It's a trash incenirator, the fact that it's the trash inside the other ship is irelevant"

  • @Hamys_Dog
    @Hamys_Dog 9 месяцев назад +182

    We need to see this story expand and the weapons inspector slowly losing his mind

    • @mr.e3247
      @mr.e3247 9 месяцев назад +6

      Messing around with the humans....I'm sure it won't take long! LOL

    • @srg08
      @srg08 3 месяца назад +1

      His mind was already lost when he took the assignment…
      Because who in their right mind would accept this assignment??

  • @Bellator_of_the_Shadow
    @Bellator_of_the_Shadow 9 месяцев назад +117

    "Don't worry. I'll tell the Boys to watch out for the exhaust port"

    • @david2869
      @david2869 8 месяцев назад +8

      Wouldn't want any stray torpedoes to end up going down the exhaust port!

    • @Bellator_of_the_Shadow
      @Bellator_of_the_Shadow 7 месяцев назад

      @@david2869 or uninvited aliens trying to stop our progress 😁

    • @fordwel5
      @fordwel5 7 месяцев назад +1

      Why are you quoting the line?

  • @andybrooks7228
    @andybrooks7228 9 месяцев назад +103

    It's an Ice cream scoop.
    Then why does it have a 10 inch serrated blade?
    Soft scoop isn't as soft as they claim.
    Then explain the Laz rifle it's mounted to?
    that's the battery powered heater for the Ice cream scoop.

    • @FroggyMosh
      @FroggyMosh 8 месяцев назад +3

      Just don't look into the beam.
      That said, neither point it directly to the ground. No you won't do a Rocket Jump.

    • @lvluptoaverage52
      @lvluptoaverage52 8 месяцев назад +3

      Made me laugh good one

    • @Maistro69
      @Maistro69 6 месяцев назад +1

      This made me laugh way harder than it should have.

  • @joseestevezhernandez558
    @joseestevezhernandez558 9 месяцев назад +28

    Circumventing laws by surpasssing beyond scope, yes, sounds like us😂😂

  • @johncochran8497
    @johncochran8497 9 месяцев назад +47

    Fundamentally, a weapon is nothing more than a tool that concentrates energy. And energy is what's needed to do work. So an explosion is nothing more than work being done quite quickly.

    • @lisear2926
      @lisear2926 7 месяцев назад +6

      Well said hu-man😊 Best use of equivocation ever. Pull the other leg.. it's got bells on it.

    • @Bellator_of_the_Shadow
      @Bellator_of_the_Shadow 7 месяцев назад +1

      Yeah! I think we could keep aliens doing circles with all our blarney 🤣

    • @johncochran8497
      @johncochran8497 7 месяцев назад +2

      @@Bellator_of_the_Shadow Go read some fiction by Larry Niven. In particular, the Kzinti Lesson which is described by Larry Niven as "A reaction drive's efficiency as a weapon is in direct proportion to its efficiency as a drive."
      Frankly, the most efficient possible reaction drive would produce nothing but a collimated beam of photons directly opposite the desired direction of travel. Another word for that would be a fucking huge laser cannon. The greater the desired thrust, the more ungodly the size of said laser cannon.

    • @Bellator_of_the_Shadow
      @Bellator_of_the_Shadow 7 месяцев назад

      @@johncochran8497 lol

    • @vukkulvar9769
      @vukkulvar9769 7 месяцев назад

      An other story had "asteroids mining and debris cleaning lasers" mounted on ships.

  • @norneaernourn8240
    @norneaernourn8240 6 месяцев назад +3

    What's more reckless is building these things in orbit instead of the say, the kuiper belt.

  • @Erin-Thor
    @Erin-Thor 9 месяцев назад +91

    Good to see DARPA is still around. When you look at their ‘known’ completed project completions it is pretty amazing. Need a rifle that tracks its target and fires when it has a kill shot? ✅ Need a small tactical nuke in a standard shell you can fire in a cannon? ✅ Need an almost silent spinning nautilus shaped fin that spins super fast and shoots (flings) a few thousand .50 caliber ball bearings in a few minutes ✅ (awesome video of that by the way.) 😎

    • @kdrapertrucker
      @kdrapertrucker 9 месяцев назад +3

      Need a prophetic arm or leg that doesn't hamper you too much?

    • @Erin-Thor
      @Erin-Thor 9 месяцев назад +6

      @@kdrapertrucker - Did you mean prosthetic arm or leg? If not an arm or leg that could warn you of dangers before you act would be awesome! 😎 🤓

    • @codycampbell6655
      @codycampbell6655 9 месяцев назад

      ​@Erin-Thor are you assuming they havent made both

    • @Erin-Thor
      @Erin-Thor 9 месяцев назад +3

      @@codycampbell6655 - If you’re talking about my initial comment on this thread, they made all three of these things. The “nuke shell” took two weeks to design and present for approval, 6 months for the prototype, 3 more months more for production units. Thankfully that was never used in battle.

    • @HarryWHill-GA
      @HarryWHill-GA 9 месяцев назад +1

      Got a link or reference that I can use to find the video?

  • @Progection
    @Progection 7 месяцев назад +2

    Weaponised Lawyer teleporter cannon. With integrated chronoton powered retroactive subpoenas.

  • @joshuaradick5679
    @joshuaradick5679 6 месяцев назад +2

    It’s like human weapons engineers have centuries of experience in circumventing regulations.

  • @lokken23
    @lokken23 7 месяцев назад +3

    There are no testing grounds because the ground would have to be made of strange matter to survive.

  • @elderblackdragon
    @elderblackdragon 9 месяцев назад +11

    Don't worry, we only use it in combat.

    • @DS-th7wn
      @DS-th7wn 8 месяцев назад +1

      It's for off road use only.

    • @richardarriaga6271
      @richardarriaga6271 7 месяцев назад

      We use it to make S'Mores from StayPuft

  • @kevinessick9580
    @kevinessick9580 9 месяцев назад +7

    i want one of those in a small form factor, like a toy gun?

  • @autoaimcfg
    @autoaimcfg 7 месяцев назад +1

    Ragnar... which actually is a perfectly normal Swedish name. 🙂

  • @МихаилРозов-ю9п
    @МихаилРозов-ю9п 9 месяцев назад +7

    So it is a Death star superlaser reference

    • @nargalda773
      @nargalda773 9 месяцев назад +3

      no, these were HEAT DISPENSER, he told it several times

  • @SirWhiteRabbit-gr5so
    @SirWhiteRabbit-gr5so 9 месяцев назад +1

    An artificial singularity driven a near the speed of light? Impressive .

  • @billyrob612
    @billyrob612 7 месяцев назад +1

    Just a reminder that the US tried to make an unshealed nuclear powered nuke

  • @SmokePoppa
    @SmokePoppa 7 месяцев назад +1

    Odd note; a space elevator has to be built on the equator in order for it to maintain equilibrium between geosynchronous orbit and Earth's gravity, otherwise it'll be pulled out of orbit by the Coriolis effect.

    • @geomacaulay
      @geomacaulay 7 месяцев назад

      Just build anchor points in South carolina, the Atlantic, gulf of Mexico and cuba. It'll be fine.

    • @dillonvandergriff4124
      @dillonvandergriff4124 3 месяца назад

      I mean, in this universe they have portable black holes. I think they could probably solve that issue.

  • @evandg13ify
    @evandg13ify 8 месяцев назад +3

    "It's never a war crime the firat time"

  • @zzing
    @zzing 9 месяцев назад +1

    Loved the laugh.

  • @LeongGunners
    @LeongGunners 7 месяцев назад +1

    No species in the galaxy is so hell bent and so capable of sterilizing the names of their superweapons... except of course, the humans.

  • @BillSmith-ut5li
    @BillSmith-ut5li 7 месяцев назад

    I love the backgrounds keep it up please

  • @mrblue4602
    @mrblue4602 7 месяцев назад

    Well a star ship with gas . You don’t want to be around!

  • @chriskelso723
    @chriskelso723 8 месяцев назад

    Exaust port, he says. Lmfao 😂❤

  • @delmccormack7001
    @delmccormack7001 5 месяцев назад

    It isn't a weapon, it's on exhaust. Lol.😂😂😂😂

  • @ladymecha8718
    @ladymecha8718 9 месяцев назад +3

    Plot twist: this is not the future, and it is not fiction, it was last November. 😂❤. Gotta love the USA Space Force.

  • @Stormy_Fairweather
    @Stormy_Fairweather 9 месяцев назад +1

    disabling playback on other sites ALSO disable playback on youtube for people using adblocks. which means some people, like me, wont be watching it at all. pretty stupid to be online without an adblock... but it is even stupider to expect people to turn em off.

  • @--kami--
    @--kami-- 7 месяцев назад +1

    🤣😂 Wir stellen keine Waffen her, nur Nebelwerfer: Zitat der Deutschen kurz vorm 2ten weltkrieg.

  • @papashakeshake6268
    @papashakeshake6268 9 месяцев назад

    who is this reader?

    • @andreww2098
      @andreww2098 9 месяцев назад +1

      robot reader

    • @TaroOnYouTube
      @TaroOnYouTube 9 месяцев назад +3

      Robotto. This is a good thing. I find hu-man readers tend to get the made-up alien names better, then mess up normal words in the English language.

    • @Erin-Thor
      @Erin-Thor 9 месяцев назад +6

      @@TaroOnRUclips - On the. Flip side I hate. It when. A compute. Err reads a store. Eee without under. Standing the tone. Al nuances of a hu. Man voice. Thankfully these new AI computer voices are excellent!

    • @Teampegleg
      @Teampegleg 9 месяцев назад +2

      Hal

    • @kevinrowley55
      @kevinrowley55 9 месяцев назад +1

      It’s a pretty commonly used text reader voice, not sure what app or website it’s from.

  • @lawrenceeytcheson1317
    @lawrenceeytcheson1317 9 месяцев назад

    Get rid of robovoice!

    • @AenesidemusOZ
      @AenesidemusOZ 9 месяцев назад

      Watch another stream! 😂

  • @ireallyreallyhategoogle
    @ireallyreallyhategoogle 7 месяцев назад

    LOL
    It's all a question of perspective.

  • @chriscr21
    @chriscr21 9 месяцев назад +19

    Part II needed. Great story and of course you would have to stay away from the "exhaust port!"

  • @billcoleman7058
    @billcoleman7058 9 месяцев назад +21

    I'm fairly new to the HFY stories. This one is awesome. Loved it! Laughed so hard I was almost in tears.

  • @13autumnmoonful
    @13autumnmoonful 9 месяцев назад +16

    Ok this NEEDS an update or a part 2.

  • @Adactus
    @Adactus 9 месяцев назад +15

    "Green, what the hell was that!?"
    I laughed a good long while at that part. All these stories are interesting and have funny moments in them, but this one got me good lol. 🤣🤣

    • @mr.e3247
      @mr.e3247 9 месяцев назад +1

      I new Green was up to something!! LMAO!!

  • @Forsworcen
    @Forsworcen 7 месяцев назад +6

    Remember everyone. “There’s no such thing as an unarmed spaceship.”

    • @NSAsterus949
      @NSAsterus949 7 месяцев назад +3

      All vehicles have a single use ballistic weapon at a minimum

    • @O4FUXACHE
      @O4FUXACHE 6 месяцев назад +1

      And the first human-kzin conflict was solved by a communication laser . .

  • @lisear2926
    @lisear2926 7 месяцев назад +3

    Just great 👍
    More about the humans and this weapons inspector please 😄

  • @jeffjames4064
    @jeffjames4064 8 месяцев назад +2

    How about a series about the inspector. You have a lot of material just from current events.

  • @Smokejensen212
    @Smokejensen212 6 месяцев назад +1

    CAN YOU STOP MAKING WMDS FOR 5 MINUTES?!

  • @magnitude2646
    @magnitude2646 7 месяцев назад +9

    TIL This is not actually a real voice, its just the most realistic AI voice i've ever heard.

  • @xenon132
    @xenon132 9 месяцев назад +2

    I see we're still rules lawyers.

  • @KvikDeVries
    @KvikDeVries 7 месяцев назад +1

    It's just a lawnmower. It's just a coffe maker. It's just a heater... There was a cold war joke about a russian tractor, peacefully working in a field, which upon being spotted and approached by a american spy (or soldier, something like that) opened rocket fire and then flew in Moscow's general direction...

  • @circomnia9984
    @circomnia9984 8 месяцев назад +4

    Sounds like my Glock 9mm hole puncher I use in the office. You know, to add papers to folders. Very handy indeed.

    • @osco4311
      @osco4311 6 месяцев назад +1

      Your remote hole puncher?

    • @circomnia9984
      @circomnia9984 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@osco4311 Yea, it makes holes through people, at a distance. Papers too. Basically it can make holes through anything but armor.

  • @techristopher8077
    @techristopher8077 9 месяцев назад +1

    Do you want some more contributions?

  • @playertwoeightfourninezero4236
    @playertwoeightfourninezero4236 9 месяцев назад +6

    With this logic, a Nuke isn’t a weapon but just a very big firecracker.

    • @gaborfabian1239
      @gaborfabian1239 9 месяцев назад +4

      Basically it is.
      Its not the phisical tool that makes the weapon. The intent does.
      Example: you have a hammer, do you build a house or bash in your neighbors head?

    • @XenithShadow
      @XenithShadow 7 месяцев назад

      Well yeah nuke could be considered very large firecrackers/fireworks. Although fireworks are technically classified as weapons, so generally have similair restrictions on access that exist on firearms in countires in which gun controls exist.
      Additionally their are restrictions place on certain countries accesss to nuclear power based on the percieved risk of them using the technology for weapons instead.

    • @Alobo075
      @Alobo075 7 месяцев назад +1

      I'll go with the Ghostbusters cartoon definition. "It's just banging two rocks together."

  • @j.davidbennett8373
    @j.davidbennett8373 6 месяцев назад

    bad science makes bad science fiction .

  • @randrews4614
    @randrews4614 9 месяцев назад +1

    very funny 😂

  • @NabiruBogdan
    @NabiruBogdan 8 месяцев назад +1

    Nice

  • @gachashadowwolf3038
    @gachashadowwolf3038 9 месяцев назад

    Its clearly a weapon 😂

  • @jamiepatterson1214
    @jamiepatterson1214 9 месяцев назад +6

    If you don't call it a weapon, then it isn't a weapon. According to galactic laws. Calling it a heat dispenser gets around the law rather nicely.
    Is there a second chapter for this story? If not, there should be. Imagine the arguments by the Galactic Council when the report reaches them. They will got nut trying to find a way to prevent the humans from using their heat dispenser?

    • @dillonvandergriff4124
      @dillonvandergriff4124 3 месяца назад

      The galactic council about to issue some "emission standards".

  • @pauls7956
    @pauls7956 9 месяцев назад

    Olde but a goode.

  • @FroggyMosh
    @FroggyMosh 8 месяцев назад +2

    This may look like a FlaK 88. But I assure you, it's not.
    No, no! It's not an Anti-Everything weapon.
    It is a large bore Shell Evacuation Device. The black clouds are a side effect of Evacuating the Shells. Wouldn't touch those clouds, quite painful. But, The railed barrel assures us a stable Ejection safely away from our operators. So, it should be fine.

  • @michelelyons9410
    @michelelyons9410 7 месяцев назад +1

    A funny story. but one question: Why is Humanity submitting to a weapons inspection? That is usually reserved for a defeated or surrendered enemy. So why is the human base allowing the inspection? we needed a bit more background.
    I liked the idea of the story, of weapons being hidden in plain sight. Humans would be dammed good at that. And using things as weapons that were were not really designed for it. Like the way a horse is not a weapon, until the rider uses the horse to run you over.

    • @crompee
      @crompee 6 месяцев назад +2

      Condition of joining the galactic union I presume

  • @hugosinclair6798
    @hugosinclair6798 9 месяцев назад +3

    gotta love loopholes, i used a few to keep all my shit when my ex wife tried to divorce rape me

  • @frydguy2331
    @frydguy2331 9 месяцев назад

    Kugelblitz? I think you've missed an 'N' in that
    Kugel blintz