Settling your toddler into nursery - the 1st month. Here is our experience with our 2 year old son James starting nursery + some tips for anxious parents to help settle your nerves and hopefully give you a boost of confidence!
My little boy went and the same age. It was a horrible feeling just like u said.but it took him a few months to adjust because he was very attached to me. Now he's in full time reception and doing great xx
Ahh that's lovely, Eleonor! Aren't they just so adaptable? I can't believe how well James is doing now. We took him yesterday and he didn't cry at all. It makes me feel so much better about him going to nursery seeing him smiling and having fun :) x
I was so nervous when my baby started nursery, I cried so much and then realised its a process of life and it's part of development. It's easy said then done. You're doing great honestly it's also the attachment you've got with you're son. He'll be okay
This is so hard to watch knowing that my son's first day was 10 hours at daycare at 18 months. Today is day 2 and I've been crying all day. I pray it will get easier for him. Thanks for the sweet video.
Thankyou so much for sharing. My son turns 2 in January and we are looking at sending him to a pre school twice a week for a few hours a day. I feel guilt already and I don't really wanna enrol him, but for him I know it's gonna be good. He's such an active and playful child and because he doesn't have brothers or sisters yet - he needs other children of his own age to play with. I know it's right for him but I am broken hearted already at the thought of doing it. Your story gives me hope. Please keep us updated on how James gets on. Good luck
You're very welcome! It's hard making that decision to send our precious baby off to be with people who don't know, isn't it? The mum guilt is real! James needed it so much and I'm so glad we made the decision to send him now. He is adapting amazingly well and having so much fun! Do it when you're ready and when you think your child is ready. Best of luck to you! xx
insist on staying a while each day and say goodbye, letting him know when you are coming back . You should leave him feeling confident he is happy, not aching in your heart.
I currently have my first key child who is starting fully next week, shes only done 2 short sessions so far and speaks mainly Russian and she cried the WHOLE time so im hoping she bonds with me soon and I can see progress.
@@anisaibrahim6963 you may love to hear that she bonded really well with me, she ran in to hug me each day she was in and always wanted to be with me, but she had quite severe developmental delay meaning she couldn't communicate very well or understand (basically an 8 month old in a 2 year olds body) but she was lovely and i miss her a lot!
My son is starting tomorrow and im in the feels today 😭😭😭. Everything you said at the beginning is the same for us im so glad I came across your video. Im hoping my son will be okay and more so me! He is very attached he used to be looked after my our relatives and loved it but nowadays has the fear we will leave him behind so im hoping nursery will be different
Thank u for taking the effort in putting all this together. My daughter is in the second week and is crying everyday saying she doesn't want to go but settles soon in the nursery. So I hope it will get better with time. Thank you for the encouragement
Hi Ysis, I really enjoy your videos! I don't have kids yet but I love watching you talking about yours experiences as a mum! I hope I will be calm and loving as mum as you look to be haha!
Ahh thank you so much, Jessica. That's so nice of you! I used to do that as well before I had kids. I was obsessed with weekly pregnancy updates! haha :) Take care, lovely! xx
Olà! E aí!Hi Ysis! I love your channel and I feel that you are very amazing and caring mother. Both of your kids are charming and cute. I love lsabella and James! Trust me you are doing great and your the best!! By the way you are cute, beautiful, gorgeous,awesome and graceful as well. I'm learning Portuguese and have progressed a lot. You are a perfect mom to both and Isabella and James are perfect cuties!! Good luck!!
Olá Isabella :) Vou escrever minha resposta em Português para você treinar, ok? :) Adoro seu nome e sobrenome - lol! Muito obrigada pelos elogios e por assistir e comentar nos meus vídeos. Um beijo enorme e espero te ver em breve no próximo vídeo! xx
We are currently going through the same thing. In fact our experience so far has been the exact same as yours. Samuel, my son has not stopped crying when we drop him off yet though. The nursery teachers say he stops after less than a minute now though compared with 20. It's so good to no your not alone in all the emotions related to this. As the first week we sent him Samuel was so upset I started to re-evaluate my decision to send him. Glad I stuck with it though... well done James you are doing very well and you mummy and daddy, it's very difficult. Thanks for this video, I needed it! Xx
Isn't it so hard to begin with, Amy?! The crying absolutely broke my heart. I'm so glad my video helped you feel not alone because you are definitely NOT ALONE. James went to playgroup yesterday and didn't cry at all - can you believe it? We were amazed and so so happy because it gave us so much confidence that it was the right time and the right decision for him now. It sounds like your little Samuel is also doing great - well done mama and baby! :) xx
You have a right to stay until he is settled. It is not acceptable for children to be miserable when starting nursery and not necessary either as there is another way. And it is not acceptable that it was so distressing for you. These people are poorly trained and do not understand children's emotional needs when separating from parents. It is like turning back the clock 30 years. Hang around a while until you see he's happy and then tell your child when you are leaving and when you are coming back. This is reassuring for him. Also by law he should have a key person - a carer dedicated to him who build a relationship with him to help him settle.
In the process of finding second daycare for.my daughter. She had a hard time at the first one, she never wanted to leave us leave her home...She cried every morning....So sad. We are going to put her in a different setting this time see how she does......Hard.
Hi in 1 week after my son will turn 2yrs I will send him to a day care, I feel like am going have a heart attack, I know it's for his best, his education is starting but thinking that I won't be with my baby like before that makes me feel blue...
@@SittingPRETTY727 Hi, it's been 2 days only he started. He cried a lot, I wanted to burst into tears also. 1st day he didnt eat, he couldn't sleep cause of the noise. 2nd day he cried, but he was quite ok. I dont send my boy everyday.
@@moolchan7158 thank you!!! I'm so nervous lol I have two under two and we're a military family. I also mentally need the break and hopefully daycare will help.
I am so sorry that you had this dreadful experience. It shows really poor practice on the part of the nursery and a real lack on their part of knowledge of child development and what good child care practice is. First of all you should have had a key person who is a staff allocated to your child to be their main carer in the setting. Tis is required by law. this person should be the one to make a relationship with you so you feel confident with the care and can chat about how they've been etc. Settings should have a settling-in programme that takes account of the fact that all children feel distress when left by parents - they may express this differently but separation anxiety in children is universal. They feel abandoned and lost even when there are things for them to do. It is acutely stressful for them. So good nurseries have an approach to making this painless by encouraging you to stay initially. It's a no-brainer really. While you are there they can get to know the setting and start to build a trusting relationship with a key person. Gradually the parent should leave for short periods gradually extending that as the child feels comfortable with. It is really important that you are encouraged to say goodbye and reassure that you are coming back and when - such as after tea etc. Then they get used to that. When you just leave, it's an utter shock to them. The child's key person should be with them at that moment to be there in that moment of anxiety as the parent leaves. In this way the confusion, sadness and anger the child feels is avoided and they settle happily and confidently without the pain and anxiety. No new parents know this and believe these people who are so badly trained. It is just not true that there is no right or wrong way and not true that every child is different. I have been (or was - retired now) in child care for over 30 years, so have direct experience of this. I have managed settings and have taught child development, advising settings on good practice plus wring books for early years staff. Anyway, all was ok in the end, which I am glad to hear, but you might like to try a different way next time and make sure staff are properly trained to understand about children's emotional needs and know how to meet them appropriately. I find it quite distressing to hear what you went through because nobody gave you good information. There is a lot of bad practice coming back as there is no longer local authority support for settings and very little extra training. When I hear this I feel like a lifetimes work has gone down the drain.
Thanks for this. I will be starting my son hopefully in nursery in january jusy as he turns 3. Im so nervous and he is v.clingy. U have given me some confidence 😀
Stephanie, I absolutely agree with this. Currently going through a 2 week settling period with my 2 year old. Only tears have been when he bumped his head when mummy had left. I have spent multiple hours in the centre (garden due to covid) in the lead up to leaving him there - alongside his key person - who he's definitely developing a bond with and it certainly doesn't need to be as tearful and difficult for all involved as the story above. Agree the nursery should have handled the situation with more care.
I am glad to hear that it’s the norm about how they feel and how we feel. It’s so difficult. It puts me into tears.
Settling your toddler into nursery - the 1st month. Here is our experience with our 2 year old son James starting nursery + some tips for anxious parents to help settle your nerves and hopefully give you a boost of confidence!
My little boy went and the same age. It was a horrible feeling just like u said.but it took him a few months to adjust because he was very attached to me. Now he's in full time reception and doing great xx
Ahh that's lovely, Eleonor! Aren't they just so adaptable? I can't believe how well James is doing now. We took him yesterday and he didn't cry at all. It makes me feel so much better about him going to nursery seeing him smiling and having fun :) x
I was so nervous when my baby started nursery, I cried so much and then realised its a process of life and it's part of development.
It's easy said then done.
You're doing great honestly it's also the attachment you've got with you're son.
He'll be okay
This is so hard to watch knowing that my son's first day was 10 hours at daycare at 18 months. Today is day 2 and I've been crying all day. I pray it will get easier for him. Thanks for the sweet video.
Thankyou so much for sharing. My son turns 2 in January and we are looking at sending him to a pre school twice a week for a few hours a day. I feel guilt already and I don't really wanna enrol him, but for him I know it's gonna be good. He's such an active and playful child and because he doesn't have brothers or sisters yet - he needs other children of his own age to play with. I know it's right for him but I am broken hearted already at the thought of doing it. Your story gives me hope. Please keep us updated on how James gets on. Good luck
You're very welcome! It's hard making that decision to send our precious baby off to be with people who don't know, isn't it? The mum guilt is real! James needed it so much and I'm so glad we made the decision to send him now. He is adapting amazingly well and having so much fun! Do it when you're ready and when you think your child is ready. Best of luck to you! xx
insist on staying a while each day and say goodbye, letting him know when you are coming back . You should leave him feeling confident he is happy, not aching in your heart.
I currently have my first key child who is starting fully next week, shes only done 2 short sessions so far and speaks mainly Russian and she cried the WHOLE time so im hoping she bonds with me soon and I can see progress.
You are so lovely
@@anisaibrahim6963 you may love to hear that she bonded really well with me, she ran in to hug me each day she was in and always wanted to be with me, but she had quite severe developmental delay meaning she couldn't communicate very well or understand (basically an 8 month old in a 2 year olds body) but she was lovely and i miss her a lot!
My son is starting tomorrow and im in the feels today 😭😭😭. Everything you said at the beginning is the same for us im so glad I came across your video. Im hoping my son will be okay and more so me! He is very attached he used to be looked after my our relatives and loved it but nowadays has the fear we will leave him behind so im hoping nursery will be different
Thank u for taking the effort in putting all this together. My daughter is in the second week and is crying everyday saying she doesn't want to go but settles soon in the nursery. So I hope it will get better with time. Thank you for the encouragement
Hi Ysis, I really enjoy your videos! I don't have kids yet but I love watching you talking about yours experiences as a mum! I hope I will be calm and loving as mum as you look to be haha!
Ahh thank you so much, Jessica. That's so nice of you! I used to do that as well before I had kids. I was obsessed with weekly pregnancy updates! haha :) Take care, lovely! xx
I’m a father. I’ve been a bag of nerves. Holla if you’re a dad too!
all the best to you Ysis!
love it as always
Thank you Christine! :) x
I thought he was going to start a plant nursery and was really intrigued
My son starts daycare tomorrow and I’m already crying. I know it’ll do him good but seeing his face crying breaks me so much.
Lucky u that ur child cried 10minuts, im afraid my one will cry untill i come back even after three hours , hope everything will be fine
How has it been for your and your baby?
Olà! E aí!Hi Ysis! I love your channel and I feel that you are very amazing and caring mother. Both of your kids are charming and cute. I love lsabella and James! Trust me you are doing great and your the best!! By the way you are cute, beautiful, gorgeous,awesome and graceful as well. I'm learning Portuguese and have progressed a lot. You are a perfect mom to both and Isabella and James are perfect cuties!! Good luck!!
Olá Isabella :) Vou escrever minha resposta em Português para você treinar, ok? :) Adoro seu nome e sobrenome - lol! Muito obrigada pelos elogios e por assistir e comentar nos meus vídeos. Um beijo enorme e espero te ver em breve no próximo vídeo! xx
Ysis Lorenna Muito obrigado por responder e por me treinar em português
We are currently going through the same thing. In fact our experience so far has been the exact same as yours. Samuel, my son has not stopped crying when we drop him off yet though. The nursery teachers say he stops after less than a minute now though compared with 20. It's so good to no your not alone in all the emotions related to this. As the first week we sent him Samuel was so upset I started to re-evaluate my decision to send him. Glad I stuck with it though... well done James you are doing very well and you mummy and daddy, it's very difficult. Thanks for this video, I needed it! Xx
Isn't it so hard to begin with, Amy?! The crying absolutely broke my heart. I'm so glad my video helped you feel not alone because you are definitely NOT ALONE. James went to playgroup yesterday and didn't cry at all - can you believe it? We were amazed and so so happy because it gave us so much confidence that it was the right time and the right decision for him now. It sounds like your little Samuel is also doing great - well done mama and baby! :) xx
You have a right to stay until he is settled. It is not acceptable for children to be miserable when starting nursery and not necessary either as there is another way. And it is not acceptable that it was so distressing for you. These people are poorly trained and do not understand children's emotional needs when separating from parents. It is like turning back the clock 30 years. Hang around a while until you see he's happy and then tell your child when you are leaving and when you are coming back. This is reassuring for him. Also by law he should have a key person - a carer dedicated to him who build a relationship with him to help him settle.
Thank you so much 🙏
My sons is 3 and just started nursery he loves it and i was so excited for him but im having problems potty training him coz he stil dont tlk
Same here my daughter is 3
In the process of finding second daycare for.my daughter. She had a hard time at the first one, she never wanted to leave us leave her home...She cried every morning....So sad. We are going to put her in a different setting this time see how she does......Hard.
Thanks for info : 👌👌👌👌i can not believe
Hi in 1 week after my son will turn 2yrs I will send him to a day care, I feel like am going have a heart attack, I know it's for his best, his education is starting but thinking that I won't be with my baby like before that makes me feel blue...
Did you start yet??? How did it go ?? I'm ready however I'm so nervous for full-time care . However, my baby is 2 and I believe he needs it
@@SittingPRETTY727 Hi, it's been 2 days only he started. He cried a lot, I wanted to burst into tears also. 1st day he didnt eat, he couldn't sleep cause of the noise. 2nd day he cried, but he was quite ok. I dont send my boy everyday.
3 times per week, 2 consecutive days then I skip 1 day. 5hrs
@@moolchan7158 thank you!!!
I'm so nervous lol I have two under two and we're a military family. I also mentally need the break and hopefully daycare will help.
@@SittingPRETTY727 They will be fine there for sure, but in the beginning is very hard for both parents and babies. Stay strong. All the best.
My son will go to nursery tomorrow I don’t know what to expect
1st
I am so sorry that you had this dreadful experience. It shows really poor practice on the part of the nursery and a real lack on their part of knowledge of child development and what good child care practice is. First of all you should have had a key person who is a staff allocated to your child to be their main carer in the setting. Tis is required by law. this person should be the one to make a relationship with you so you feel confident with the care and can chat about how they've been etc. Settings should have a settling-in programme that takes account of the fact that all children feel distress when left by parents - they may express this differently but separation anxiety in children is universal. They feel abandoned and lost even when there are things for them to do. It is acutely stressful for them. So good nurseries have an approach to making this painless by encouraging you to stay initially. It's a no-brainer really. While you are there they can get to know the setting and start to build a trusting relationship with a key person. Gradually the parent should leave for short periods gradually extending that as the child feels comfortable with. It is really important that you are encouraged to say goodbye and reassure that you are coming back and when - such as after tea etc. Then they get used to that. When you just leave, it's an utter shock to them. The child's key person should be with them at that moment to be there in that moment of anxiety as the parent leaves. In this way the confusion, sadness and anger the child feels is avoided and they settle happily and confidently without the pain and anxiety. No new parents know this and believe these people who are so badly trained. It is just not true that there is no right or wrong way and not true that every child is different. I have been (or was - retired now) in child care for over 30 years, so have direct experience of this. I have managed settings and have taught child development, advising settings on good practice plus wring books for early years staff. Anyway, all was ok in the end, which I am glad to hear, but you might like to try a different way next time and make sure staff are properly trained to understand about children's emotional needs and know how to meet them appropriately. I find it quite distressing to hear what you went through because nobody gave you good information. There is a lot of bad practice coming back as there is no longer local authority support for settings and very little extra training. When I hear this I feel like a lifetimes work has gone down the drain.
Thanks for this. I will be starting my son hopefully in nursery in january jusy as he turns 3. Im so nervous and he is v.clingy. U have given me some confidence 😀
Stephanie, I absolutely agree with this. Currently going through a 2 week settling period with my 2 year old. Only tears have been when he bumped his head when mummy had left. I have spent multiple hours in the centre (garden due to covid) in the lead up to leaving him there - alongside his key person - who he's definitely developing a bond with and it certainly doesn't need to be as tearful and difficult for all involved as the story above. Agree the nursery should have handled the situation with more care.