Some of you are commenting before watching the vid😂 Anyways check out my patreon I do reviews/tours of the venues I play at amongst a bunch of other things! www.patreon.com/foolishfrankie
Awesome vid. When you ripped the Paul Simon solo bit up front. Rad. There's lots of people playing to their computer screens. I miss being on stage and seeing a whole crowd bounce up and down to my guitar/vocals, but not the rest of the gear toting and such. I definitely don't miss playing the same songs every Fri/Sat for 2 YEARS STRAIGHT. Oh yeah, and one drink per set/hour calmed my nerves. You have to remember one thing. It's a Performance.
We played a wedding reception gig where the brides mother pre-approved our setlist to be certain we didn’t play anything that might trigger anyone. Our usual sets are two 45 minute sets with the usual extended versions of tines like YMCA, Uptown Funk and The Chicken Dance but she did not approve those songs. We started the 1st set with the usual bride/groom dance then father/daughter, mother/groom stuff. Then the dance floor was open and we were immediately besieged by requests for all the banned songs. Event the groom came up asking us to liven up and we told him about mama’s censorship of our setlist. He just told us to play. So we ignored her ban and played the fun stuff. At the end of the set, mama came up and fired us, refusing to pay us and pulled our power. We went out to discuss our strategy and the bride’s dad came out, handed us a check and said “play what you want. I’ll deal with her.”
I had a very similar experience DJing at a wedding - the bride had given me a playlist in advance (with timing down to the second for each song). I might as well have been an iPod that night. One look at the playlist was all I needed to know that it wasn’t going to be a fun night. Predictably, nobody was dancing to her selection, and about 20 minutes in, the groom came over to me and asked what the problem was, and like you, said to just ditch the playlist and get people going. So I did, and within a couple of songs had the dancefloor packed. Then the bride came over to me *screaming* at me for going off the playlist, and that I had to get back to *her* music. I got on the mic and - just to cover my ass- made a little comment about going back to the Bride’s playlist - wasn’t nasty or degrading about it, just said “And now we’re going to have a few more tracks from [bride]’s selection….”. Again, the dancefloor cleared in moments, again she comes over to me screaming “HOW DARE YOU EMBARRASS ME ON MY WEDDING DAY!!”. She called my agent, tried to get me fired, told me I wasn’t going to get paid. A really big part of me wanted to just pack my stuff up and leave, but I was in desperate need of the money. I limped out the rest of the gig not daring to say anything on the mic, just sticking to her godawful playlist and wishing it would just end. At the end of the night, as I was packing up, the groom came up with my cheque, which he’d added a nice tip to, said thanks, and apologised for her behaviour. I breathed a sigh of relief. 10 minutes later, and the bride came back in, screamed at me all over again, demanded I hand the cheque over to her, and then proceeded to rip it up in front of me. The worst part was that I then got it in the neck from my agent the next day too, who’d only heard her side of the story of course. He made me write a letter of apology to her to protect his business. Strangely, the marriage didn’t last long.
You play the best when you have no pressure. Some of your Omegle stuff is the most nuanced, soulful, fully present in the moment playing I've ever heard. If you can put yourself in that mindset during gigs, truly, I think you'll play magnificently.
It kills me when I go to an event with any live music whether it’s a band, or just a pianist and the musician is really good and people are just ignoring it. I always take the time to acknowledge the musicians and show some appreciation. It’s crazy what people take for granted.
You don't owe the band anything. Also, people can do multiple things at a time. Expecting a WEDDING to grind to a halt and hang on every note is ludicrous, and downright narcissistic. That gig IS NOT ABOUT THE BAND. It is about the couple getting married. That's it.
@@krausewitz6786 Exactly. That being said, my band was never asked to do a wedding gig where the bride and groom weren't huge fans of ours. Some of the best gigs, ever, where you're in a humble blues band and they treat you like a rock star.
I've had my share of gigs that had various levels of "soul sucking". I had a professor in college who used to say that gigs can fulfill your mind or they can fulfill your wallet, it's rare that they do both so appreciate those times. I've found for me that gigs where you're playing with people that you don't like or get along with combined with playing music that you're not really into are the most soul sucking. I had a cruise ship contract where the band didn't get along and we were playing cheesy arrangements of pop tunes for 2 months. Being trapped together like that was pretty soul crushing.
I've always lived by the two in three principle.Playing with people you like, music you like and for money you like - 2 out of 3 of those and you are onto a winner.
When I was roughly your age, I played a bunch of jazz wedding gigs. As a mediocre jazz guitarist, it's really good money. Our quartet could score $1,500 in 1994. And that was pretty sweet. All we had to know was "L.O.V.E." - which is the jazz "Wagon Wheel." But, then we played "Susan's" wedding reception at the lake. Everything was fine until the bridal entourage arrived. After a few minutes of playing "Old Devil Moon," Susan's mother came over to talk to me. "Yes, you guys sound GREAT! It's just a little bit loud and we're wondering if you could turn it down just a little." We weren't using a PA, but the bassist and I notched down our tiny amps and the trumpet player backed off a little and the drummer choked up on his sticks a tad. When we started "Everything Happens to Me" we were definitely quieter. Maybe ten minutes later Susan's mom came back to say, "Much better! But some of us are still having trouble talking over your music. If there's any way you can turn it down a little more, that would be lovely. Thank you!" So, we notched everything down, added a Harmon mute and brushes and started "You Make Me Feel So Young." After about two minutes, Susan's mom stomped over and, through gritted teeth, hissed, "I'm sorry. We can still HEAR you." So, we turned everything off and we helped ourselves to shrimp and beer. A little while later, the bride came over and said, "Mom wants to know why you stopped playing ... "
So many stories to tell! One wedding various elderly members of the bridal party would come over and tell us to turn down, we kept turning down and they kept asking, then as a joke I told the band to mime playing and I sang unaccompanied off the mic, the mother approached us and said “Perfect”.
Again, as someone who has been in the entetainment business for over 30 years here is what you do... First when someone who is older tells you to turn down, I always ask respectfully: Do you wear Hearing Aids? 9 out of 10 times they say yes.... Well could you please turn them down. And say: I am here to accommodate as many people as possible not just one who is wearing aids that makes everything so much louder. Next this one gets them all the time..... Just say sure No problem... Then make sure they see go to the back of the speaker and pretend to turn it down.. Then a few minutes later go ask them is that okay? Everytime they will say yes.... Believe me this works....
I love that line about 'figuring out things in a forgiving environment'. It's like the research doesn't stop after school, but u just have to figure out spaces where u can develop safely, especially in the beginning.
I've played weddings in Western PA for about 20 to 25 years. I could tell you so many entertaining stories including... bridezillas, equipment truck breakdowns, parents fighting, crazy song requests, fights, broken fingers, In my opinion, these are the things that make weddings fail/not fun - bride, groom, parents too worried about impressing people rather than having a fun time - bride/groom that tries to control the song list rather than letting the band read and adjust to the crowd - too much stopping the momentum for taking pictures - venue owners/managers are are hard to work with ( although we did very well earning the respect of just about all) - weddings that are just too damn long - trying to play the bridal dance polka live for 25 minutes straight. - having a venue where people can "escape" the atmosphere of the band. For example, if the bar is in a different room or if there is a giant balcony outside and people just hang out there all night. I have always tried to see if our band was a "good fit" for what they are looking for. I never would try to push it on them. I explained the pros and cons of having a live band and let them make their own decisions. All in all I have had a pleasurable experience playing hundreds of weddings but there are always so many great stories. I get the soul sucking thing. It's all about balancing and compromising where it is enjoyable for you and the customer.
I only lated a few wedding and bridezillas, equipment breakdowns, families fighting, crazy song requests, fights, broken faces pretty much sums it up.,
02:16 - every wedding gig I’ve ever done! Been doing them for over 30 years and there have been a few that grated, but I always play every gig as though it could be my last one and put 100% into it. If you do that, no matter what the circumstances, you know in your heart that you’re doing the thing you most love in the world.
Great answers all around!! Wedding gigs are really the ideal working musician's gigs. Good pay, great hangs, minimal travel, in bed by midnight, lots of variety, and we even get to play jazz sometimes. Soul sucking for me is shutting down the bar at 2AM for a dozen people too drunk to stand playing the same 50 songs like it's Groundhog's Day. And Ross is right -- even that is a "me" problem! He would know haha! I'm gonna need the unredacted version of this video btw 😂😂
They're okay. I rarely get to bed by midnight for wedding gigs though, and the pay is variable. Sometimes, it's great, sometimes it's underwhelming considering the time spent. But everyone's experience will vary
Although there WILL be people at weddings who just want a carbon copy of a solo, there are probably a few who really appreciate something more spicy, and if they could even tell it was a "recovery" they'd probably appreciate it even more. In a bland dish, a little spice has a big impact
Just said yes to another wedding gig 5 minutes before watching this video; and yes there’s always stuff to learn and things to do better, even in a ‘low pressure’ gig. It’s still someone’s big day, I try to remember that. Augment the joy.
Man... this hits hard. I have been struggling playing for people who don't care about the music and to be reminded that there really aren't soul sucking gigs if you manage to keep the right mindset is great. Keeping at it, keeping at it!
My feeling is that it is always better to play to entertain than impress, no matter the occasion - it takes the pressure off. Yes, the audience can expect a certain level of musicianship, but the audience will mainly remember a good time/good feeling and not necessarily a blistering solo (but that doesn't mean you shouldn't!!). As you say, the way is to look for personal musical satisfaction/education within the confines of any event and, if you are as talented as you are, it will be recognised within the profession and the more 'musically satisfying' work will come.
I've played many weddings (and had all kinds of "experiences" like many mentioned in this comment section), but, the most important thing to consider when you're thinking about getting into the wedding band business is that there is a massive gulf between 'playing a wedding' and 'running a wedding band' i.e. being the person responsible/having your name on the contract. Playing weddings in someone else's band can be fun, and are almost stress-free. Running the band is ton of work, responsibility and stress. And that's why my own band stopped playing weddings. There's no "fun hang" when you're the guy who's responsible.
Wedding gigs are weddings. The attendees are there to celebrate two people getting married. Not me playing drums. I'm lucky to be paid and trusted to be there whether people watch me or not. Honestly they should be dancing looking into each other's eyes and falling in love. Or falling in love again. Not watching me lol.
As someone who is a musician but not in this style or anything, your improvised solo was great! it sounded like the song and it sounded good! The trumpet player instantly knew it wasn't right lol
I love your man on the trombone’s attitude! I never have a bad time getting to play music, so grateful to be able to make money this way, and like he says, most of it is just sitting around hanging out with your mates, I think it’s important to have good people you get along with to play with, I’ve been pretty' blessed to play with a great crowd, but even that being said, my worst day getting paid to play music still beats a lot of the other shitty jobs I’ve had.
Yes, wedding gigs CAN be soul-sucking. Any gig can be. Use the Big 3 to gauge whether it was worth it. 1. Did you make good money? 2. Was it a good band that played music you enjoy playing? 3. Did you like the cats in the band? Any one of these 3 can make a gig worthwhile and when you combine them it's very fulfilling. If none are present then your soul has just been sucked from your body.
I was getting nervous about a solo that was coming up at a wedding gig in about four bars time….. then a pretty young lady projectile vomited across the dancefloor. Everything stopped as they sent for the mop and bucket and the paramedics dealt with her. We started up again but on the next song. Sometimes the Gods work in mysterious ways 😂 Enjoyed your video… props from the UK.
I'm with Frank and that gorgeous Mr. Trumbone: playing music together, wow! Be here and now, maybe you don't even have a soul, and then, all you got is every moment you take.
I'm 71. I started playing violin at age 7, but settled on my instrument of choice, trumpet, at age 10. I've played every kind of gig you could ever imagine, from legit in large orchestras and small chamber groups, to Oktoberfest in oompah bands, to jazz in bands ranging in size from two (me and a piano) to big bands of 19 musicians (as well as big bands that weren't "big" at all -- maybe three horns and a rhythm section). I have played in a marching band and got paid for it: once where we "marched" out in front of a crowd at a rodeo and played the national anthem, stepping in horse and bull excrement along the way, and once where a band of 30 or so band musicians snuck into a casino owner's back yard at 7:00 am and serenaded him with "Happy Birthday" as he stepped onto his back yard patio to drink his morning coffee. I have played with cover bands, including one that featured a sax, a trumpet and a trombone just like this video! I once paraded through a crowded casino just after midnight, playing "When the Saints Go Marching In" to New Year's Eve revelers, marched straight out the door and into the parking lot where my trumpet case was inside my car, got in and drove home. I once had to ride a chair lift in a tuxedo to the lodge at the ski resort where we were playing. I once had a two-week Oktoberfest gig at a Lake Tahoe hotel/casino that lasted eight hours every day. We played for 30 minutes at the Beer Garden, walked through the casino playing oompah music for 15 minutes, an hourly trek that included, at management's insistence, a detour through the employee break room, where we got to endure the stink-eye glares of everyone trying to enjoy a break, and then we took a 15-minute break of our own. We repeated that seven times every day for two weeks. I once played a wedding where the host was a flamboyant 6'5" drag queen who entertained the guests with raunchy humor, and 45 minutes into the gig, the trumpet player sitting next to me looked at me suddenly with raised eyebrows and said, with real surprise, "Wait! Is that a guy?" I was introduced to the patrons of a lounge, twice a night for two weeks, along with the sax and trombone player I played with, by Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits, whose band we accompanied, as guys who had come to Tahoe "to make it big in the music business." Same tired line, twice nightly, for two weeks. I have been hit up by the bass player in a well-known band I played with while they were on tour for "weed" (I had none, and he was disappointed, but he continued his quest until a valet parker he hit up at at a hotel turned him in to the hotel management and he was fired). Those are just a few things I can think of off the top of my head but are representative of stories every working musician can tell you. I can also tell you this: I have played weird gigs under weird circumstances for weird people, but one thing remained constant through my entire career: Once I put the horn to my chops, I enjoyed what I was doing, every single time. And I loved what I did for a living. I never once had a bad time playing music. Last year, I had to retire because of health problems. There is never a day that goes by without me wishing I was still playing.
Awesome video Frank!.!.As a musician (drummer) having played 1000's of wedding gigs, I always appreciated the opportunity to play with great musicians. AND always enjoyed it. NEVER soul sucking "Never blame the gig" ;) You play with some amazing talented musicians. Such a pleasure to listen to - You're an incredible player yourself. Keep these videos coming- Thank you!
Used to play a bunch of wedding reception gigs in the Ohio valley in the late 70's & early 80's. Loved it. We were with a wonderful band leader who had played for some of the brides/grooms grandparents weddings, so was very well known and loved. He was initially overly concerned with the ridiculous demands of some of the folks (many were not even connected to the wedding party) but over the course of several gigs we discovered that we could ignore trouble makers & just play! Also, best advice from one of my professors: 4 types of audience members 1. Appreciative non musicians 2. Appreciative musicians at your level 3. Appreciative musicians above your level 4. Hecklers - pay no attention to #4...
The art here is getting the exact inflection of the trumpet without sticking out, tucking in on the unisons and phattening out on the harmonies, how to imply perfect intonation in an equal tempered setting, how to improve the charts by tweaking the octaves or playing a different wind instrument, treating every note as a long tone. It’s not soul sucking if you’re squeezing every drop of art out of it…
Thanks for this! I'm a bassist, been doing weddings for decades and definitely my share of soul sucking ones. Either client based suck-age or subbing with rough situations. A big factor is a chemistry with who you're doing them with as well as not trying to get through one with rather be somewhere else, feeling they're too good to be there, cell phone checking, counting down the minutes til the end of the gig types. One band I was lucky enough to gig with for around 9 years was one of the best bands I ever worked with, bar none. We found ways to make even the tunes we'd played 100s of times interesting, adding little on the fly arrangement stuff etc. As the bone player noted, it beats working all week at WaWa (regional reference) to make the same, if not less, bux! Thanks for letting me ramble! ps, dug the bassist, he was doing the same fills in Brick House that I do!
Yes that’s so true! I played one wedding in particular where it wasn’t just one person with a bad attitude, but nearly everyone in the band and it really made it a drag:/ thanks so much for sharing and I appreciate you watching!!
A wedding gig is a JOB. A job that is chosen. It’s serves a purpose for people paying good money for it. It’s not your “art” or personal expression. And, as my dad used to say “it beats digging ditches”. If you find those types of gigs “soul-sucking” than…..don’t take the gigs. Also, it doesn’t have to be your favorite gig, but if the band goes into it thinking “this is gonna SUCK”, 1) it’s more likely to suck, and 2) it’s not fair to the people that hired you to ENTERTAIN THEM in their celebration.
True, although I don’t consider a lot of my wedding gigs to be jobs. I love playing the music honestly. I’ve never understood people that shit on the wedding gig thing
I love this - being prepared to learn from every experience/gig cos we never stop learning as players do we and that's why I lurve playing - love the tin whistle and how you didn't look like you were 'panicked' about that alto solo.....
Your penny whistle on Call Me Al is so perfect. I would be amazed if I were there in person and heard you do that. Very cool. Certain instruments can disappear in the mix. Not so easy to hide the horns. So I get it about being nervous, even at low pressure gigs. But fear not Frankie, you are hard working and dedicated to your craft. Besides you have almost a half a million subscribers who think you are the bomb!!! Rock on!!
I was once at a wedding where the Brides mother walked up on stage and turned off the guitarist. Swear to God 🤷♂️. Some people have no idea how to behave. Especially if they are not the Center of attention
Ooh , sadly I can top that , a particularly Karen like mother of the bride connived to find the main plug board and literally pulled the switch on the whole band , luckily the mains conditioner did its job but the gig was definitely over from that point ( we had the dance floor packed at the time too ! )
It was the endless hanging around that drove me crazy doing wedding gigs. The iPhone Scrabble app was a regular occupation... However much you love the other band members you eventually run out of stuff to talk about!
That's why I brought my laptop to get work done! I also usually bring my tin whistle in D and will learn tunes. I try to take advantage of the down time as much as I can:)
Whoa, crazy, the trombonist is always glad to have a gig. (I too am a trombonist) Quick joke - there's a squirrel dead in the road, and a trombonist dead in the road, what's the difference? The Squirrel was on his way to a gig.
@@FoolishFrankieglad to hear it. We all know who the first player in that horn section is to get the boot, no matter how good. Love your videos, I've learned a lot from them. Cheers!
Istg wedding gigs (vlogs at least) are worth it simply to hear you shred that tin whistle on Call Me Al! Legit perfect dude, like the whistling at the end of Sittin' On The Dock (Of The Bay), just iconic.
@@brushstroke3733 the exact same thing can be said about Charlie Parker, David Sanborn, ect. Would you agree that one can benefit from studying their music??
After a couple decades of production shows and tours, I have been enjoying the wedding gigs since 2012. No one goes to those to have a bad time and the energy is most often a grand feed. I've never had my soul sucked. I enjoy the trumpet, music, and cats like you putting it out there. Horn section sounds GREAT!
Spent decades in a band as a bass player and sound engineer - FOH and MOH for a couple of big bands. Now moved and quit but this brings so many feelings! Thanks man!
As horrible as it sounds, I once did a wedding gig on mushrooms. Context; in order to fit into the situation and be part of the night, this ingestation was somehow not only encouraged by the clients, but welcomed. I wasn't driving, so things worked out well. I did that only once, other than that, totally sober for my gigs.
Playing to tracks is always soul sucking -- read: Cruise Ship Pit Band gigs. Oh, and having to play Uptown Funk... always soul sucking. I would never program that overplayed tune in any of my casuals. NONE. And indeed, the hang makes the worst scenarios a fun experience.
To all those who play/sing for wedding gigs, we musicians are out there too and we know what you do bc we've been there, done that. Play for us, we really appreciate you and hope knowing this will make the experience less soul sucking. If anything, at least you're getting paid and I do hope they treat you well.
You are getting paid (probably pretty well by the looks of the venue) to play tunes everyone loves, you’ve got a killer band to play with, the people out in the crowd are having fun and enjoying the evening and the celebration. What isn’t there to love about a gig like that?
That Dingwall bass is super sick and classy! I agree that wedding gigs are only soul sucking if you make them. You can always have some fun, if you're playing with the right people, even if some circumstances don't go your way.
I agree with the brass players (and not just because I’m a brass player), but it is a mindset. Every gig can have value if you give it some. If you feel something is soul-sucking, it might just be that you are burned out. I can only imagine how exhausting it would be to document everything for an internet audience. I feel like that could steal the magic from the music. Also, I think the expectation that everyone in the audience wants each tune to be the same sounds from that one well-known version of the song, and so you MUST learn it just so, is an unhealthy expectation. It makes us stuck. It does make you a cardboard cutout, like they said in the vid. Making tunes your own, or at least in the moment, is very important. Both for the players and for society. The audience wants to have a good time, but also wants to be brought into the music. That might be by knowing the way you are playing the music, or it might be by getting instructions on how to interact with/clap/dance/move to the music. And being able to read a crowd is not easy. You have to balance knowing what to play next/being mentally prepared to perform the music in a meaningful way and being in the moment and responding to what music the audience is vibing to and/or requesting. I guess mentally taxing things can be “soul-sucking” if you are not feeling appreciated or if you get that trained monkey feeling, but you have to remind yourself that not everyone these days has the ability to fully appreciate things in the moment (especially when drunk). They may not realize how great you are, how hard you are working, how hard you have worked to make the music you are making. It’s so easy to find errors if you’re looking for them. And these days it seems like everyone’s looking for errors rather than enjoying the moments that are magical. Centering the crowd can help (breathing in good vibes and setting expectations), but you also have to remember that a wedding is not just about you and your performance. You are supporting the magical day of a couple, and you may not be rewarded ho you expect. It may be after the fact. Sorry this got long! Thanks for reading!
Great video Frankie. To me, it looks like you found "the band" you were looking for- all of your colleagues are professional (from what you show us lol) and kind and talented. The musicians you work with can make or break the whole situation. I used to be the front-man for a Zappa tribute band (we even toured with Ike Willis) and the guy who led that band was so unbearable that we only did one tour before the drummer and I bowed out of the band. And I had wanted to do a Zappa tribute for years... I'm really happy to see you vibing with your group, and you all sound fantastic. That's the band I'd want at my wedding.
@@brushstroke3733 the guitarist was the one who formed the Zappa tribute band, years before I joined, and he had been touring occasionally with Ike Willis. Even though the guitarist formed the band, he did not do vocals. The guitarist brought on a band to fill in the gaps. I was brought on as vocals, keys, and sax/flute. When we didnt have Ike, I did all the singing and banter. When we did have Ike, I did the harmonies and just laid back on keys and horns. We did a two week tour with Ike one time, but before that we did a bunch of gigs and festivals without him. I'm a pretty versatile musician, and try to accommodate whats needed in the band at the time.
I agree with many of the comments saying any gig is fun, has its place, and can be fully enjoyed. I’m curious how fellow musicians feel when they might play the occasional gig with a band or a jam where you play with someone who doesn’t know their instrument or the songs well and end up dominating without realizing they are killing the vibe. I can’t let that go on sometimes. Maybe a different conversation.
I can appreciate wanting to play various tunes on one horn only. I always felt bad (well, not TOO bad 😂) for the woodwind guy lugging two saxes, a flute and a clarinet to a show, and I just have my bit of plumbing to worry about.
You don’t have the right to think it’s soul sucking until you hit every note perfectly every time in every situation, rain wind fire smoke doesn’t matter. It must be perfect.
As a young man I played these _soul sucking gigs_ with people like Kirk Whalum, Everett Harp, Dave Koz, Pops Popwell, John Wackerman, Luis Conte, etc. And the thing that remained constant is that none of these guy phoned it in. It was always fun and there was always an opportunity to grow your skills. The other thing is that some people may feel like these gigs are a waste of their talents. But the key was always about making people happy with your music. And you may play with someone who ends up referring you to your dream gig. You just never know. And you don't want to give off a vibe that you're not into it. Being an entertainer is important. Enjoy the ride.
@@FoolishFrankie thanks so much! I actually auditioned for a Band and got it but they don’t provide charts unfortunately. Any suggestions? Or could you even provide some arrangements? Thanks for the reply 🙏
Nerves are important. I spent many minutes in the bathroom because of nerves. I can tell you with confidence, it will pass! One day you won’t even realize you don’t have the nervousness. Just stay at it because you know that what you do is the right thing. Good work!
I played weddings for 35 years. Some felt soul-sucking but they paid a lot of bills. I liked the orthodox Jewish weddings bc they were usually Mon, Tue, Wed nights, usually slow nights for other kinds of gigs. Best for food is Italian weddings. A few decades in, it becomes more and more about the hang.
The guitarist said that there's not a soul-sucking gig, because he gets to play his guitar. I understand that - if I play even some basic nursery songs for my toddler on the guitar, yeah it's zero challenge and not my kind of music, but I still feel like I've enjoyed playing. And even if he's more interested in dropping my plectrum down the sound hole than in my playing, it kinda doesnt matter.
If someone offered me money to play and sing I would just be so grateful, like the trombonist seems to be. Though it does certainly feel better to have an interested audience.
I just want to remind you that the Dunning Kruger effect is real - the fact that you have so many critiques about your playing means that you are really good. I know when you regularly play with other great musicians, it's easy to compare their best to your worst, but it is important to trust yourself. You may never fully master the instrument, but you are certainly an expert already. I find that when I believe that I'm an expert, I don't feel nervous to perform.
Playing with a wedding band is currently my full-time job, and I don't find it to be soul-sucking at all. All of the musicians are extremely talented and we have some killer arrangements. It's honestly a blast.
I have only been to one wedding in my life where there was a band for the reception (and it was my own) I had SO MANY people tell me how much they enjoyed the band at our wedding, and I was so happy people enjoyed it as much as we did (I loved the band we hired they were amazing), I recommended them to a friend who is hiring them for her wedding next year, and I’m so excited to attend as a guest!!! I’m someone who loves music and it resonates with me deeply and personally, but that’s not the same experience for everyone. Not everyone who is enjoying will always LOOK like they’re enjoying the music, but that doesn’t mean they’re not appreciating it in their own way. Hopefully that’s an encouragement.
Ahh that’s awesome!! Definitely, I actually just played a wedding where we couldn’t tell if the bride and groom were enjoying us but after they came up and said how much they loved it and appreciated us which was so sweet! Thanks for watching 🙏🏻
The other side of this is musicians you hire for your wedding gig and you bend over backwards to make it nice for them, even paying them extra in the hopes they will be happy, and instead the first thing out of their mouth is a complaint about the traffic, the elevator being slow, the stairs being too steep, the weather, the mic stand, the whatever, everything and anything. See, what they REALLY should be doing is headlining Madison Square Garden with their original songs, which of course are all Grammy-worthy. You finally you get fed up with them and get rid of them and you see, 10 years later, that they're doing the exact same gigs with the exact same people at the exact same places and probably driving all THOSE people crazy with their complaints, not you. Ahhhhh!
From the 70’s to early 90’s I endured through every level of bridezilla and Karen-mama madness because weddings paid better than clubs and bars. Since the early 90’s it’s been a firm “hell no!” to weddings. The level of tension and desire for perfection on the part of the bride and mutha of the bride are usually unrealistic; a recipe for failure. Clubs, bars, parties and unscripted gigs lead to a much happier musical life for everyone. Creativity can flow - not an impossible and boring script! People go to weddings because they feel they have to or they are forced. People typically go to clubs, bars and parties because they want to. My musical career has been an absolute joy once I learned to say “no” to weddings.
I should add, there were some excellent and very appreciative brides and crowds through the years, but the joy meter would not stay in the green. ‘Soul-sucking” may be a bit harsh, so maybe unsatisfying is a better term for me. The clubs and bars we started playing (after divorcing weddings) were packed and were a blast, so the contrast for me was striking.
I’m a keyboard player ( sorry but I also cover the horn sections parts 😤) in a five piece soul funk reggae band in the Channel Islands and Weddings for us are normally a no no unless they are “ second time around “ couples of a certain age who know of us and like our genre of music , plus we are in the fortunate position of playing music just for fun , your band as has been commented are way above our level of musicians , but it could be worse many UK weddings are DJ only events , there is not a tradition of Wedding therefore there must be live music as it would appear there is in the USA , keep up the good work and I’ve subscribed
Can definitely relate to the altissimo in the practise room vs the gig. I always mentally tell myself to relax and I find that helps. Venues like the one you played at in the vlog, do you find they suffer "big room" syndrome, where people feel too exposed to dance? Maybe its just a UK thing lol
Some bride's momzilla wanted "God Only Knows" but we had to change "I may not always love you" to "I know I'll always love you" 😅😅😅😅 That was towards the end of my wedding career. It was death by a million cuts for me. It took years and years, i always had a good attitude.
I find the soul-suck factor to be related to the pay, quite honestly. No, money isn't the end all be all, but it softens the blow sometimes. Making music is always its own reward, especially at events where there's people, community, life, etc.
My son plays the Viola and at his age is very good at it. His music teacher told me that he could get a music scholarship with his talent. I told them absolutely not. I want him to have a career that actually pays and isn’t soul sucking. I play the guitar (poorly) and have met A LOT of bitter music teachers because on average MUSIC DOESN’T PAY.
If your son is passionate about the viola, I don’t think it’s right to discourage him to that level. Music definitely pays, but it’s difficult to live anything other than a modest life. Don’t let the examples you’ve seen skew your idea of what being a musician is like for everyone
I grew up poor and hungry. Don’t want that for anyone that I care for. He can be passionate and not need to make a living at it. Just seen a lot of miserable musicians. Their aspirations become their misery. I pay for his private lessons, but sometimes you have to make sensible choices. Providing for yourself is sensible. Proving for a family is noble. I lived in Nashville for a period of time and associated with professional musicians. Most don’t recommend it as they post videos on RUclips similar to yours. This was not the first time I have heard the term,”soul sucking” in regard to performing to make a living. I would rather him be an electrician first and then look for opportunities to perform. I heard a joke once,”what’s the difference between a professional musician and a large pizza… A large pizza can feed a family of four.” Good luck.
Love this. Definitely can be soul sucking but can also be really fun musical experiences. Its fun getting “hypermusical” with the easy wedding standards and requests while making good money. What feels most soul sucking to me are the occasions where my fellow musicians cant play with energy or dont know how to be musical in the moment.
I’ve played about 2,000 wedding and corporate gigs. Some were more fun than others, but I always played as we as I can. How many times do you go to work, have dinner, and come home with a stack of dough?
I guess that in a way Frank is right, there is no soul sucking gigs. Now thinking about it, when I had less experience I often got bored with a lot of gigs. As I progressed in my journey, I started having more fun with the amount of details I could add to the music. Now the only times I get slightly unintrested is when I get a request to play really easy songs. It's all mental, and as some of my buddies would say "Be happy, you're playing music!" That solo 11:28 was SOUL coming out of your sax!
Let me tell you what is actually soul-sucking... Playing the Renaissance Fair for its duration of 9 weekends straight, (includes both Saturday and Sunday), as well as a few student days towards thr end during the weekdays where it is only open to grade school students as a field trip. - Although it has been well over 10+ years since I have played this particular gig it still sticks in my mind as just one of those things that had me contemplating why I had ever said yes to something so many times year after year. It was absolutely because of how great the pay was as a poor university student.
Oh man, come to Poland and play Polish disco polo at the wedding it's really soul-sucking that you have no clue :) Poles have no taste at weddings. In the US and UK, it's quite all right and satisfying to play some R&B, Soul, Funk, and even Pop mainstream songs.
My wedding, we tried to be like this. We told the band we wanted a little funk mixed in, and they did the rest. They absolutely killed it. They were working the crowd, and they played a cover of Shout by Otis Day and the Knights at the peak. Singer knocked it out of the park, got everyone dancing. Every band member ended up doing a solo and stretching it out. Even my distant inlaws with Parkinson got up and got on the floor. I'll never forget how happy my 10 year old niece and my dad looked, dancing together. Warms my heart, actually, remembering it all. We really don't pay musicians even, man. Worth every penny, and then some. I have such warm feelings connected to that performance that night.
Some of you are commenting before watching the vid😂
Anyways check out my patreon I do reviews/tours of the venues I play at amongst a bunch of other things! www.patreon.com/foolishfrankie
Awesome vid. When you ripped the Paul Simon solo bit up front. Rad. There's lots of people playing to their computer screens. I miss being on stage and seeing a whole crowd bounce up and down to my guitar/vocals, but not the rest of the gear toting and such. I definitely don't miss playing the same songs every Fri/Sat for 2 YEARS STRAIGHT. Oh yeah, and one drink per set/hour calmed my nerves. You have to remember one thing. It's a Performance.
We played a wedding reception gig where the brides mother pre-approved our setlist to be certain we didn’t play anything that might trigger anyone. Our usual sets are two 45 minute sets with the usual extended versions of tines like YMCA, Uptown Funk and The Chicken Dance but she did not approve those songs. We started the 1st set with the usual bride/groom dance then father/daughter, mother/groom stuff. Then the dance floor was open and we were immediately besieged by requests for all the banned songs. Event the groom came up asking us to liven up and we told him about mama’s censorship of our setlist. He just told us to play. So we ignored her ban and played the fun stuff. At the end of the set, mama came up and fired us, refusing to pay us and pulled our power. We went out to discuss our strategy and the bride’s dad came out, handed us a check and said “play what you want. I’ll deal with her.”
Omg that sounds like a nightmare😅😅 glad the husband took care of getting you paid at least!!
I had a very similar experience DJing at a wedding - the bride had given me a playlist in advance (with timing down to the second for each song). I might as well have been an iPod that night. One look at the playlist was all I needed to know that it wasn’t going to be a fun night. Predictably, nobody was dancing to her selection, and about 20 minutes in, the groom came over to me and asked what the problem was, and like you, said to just ditch the playlist and get people going. So I did, and within a couple of songs had the dancefloor packed. Then the bride came over to me *screaming* at me for going off the playlist, and that I had to get back to *her* music. I got on the mic and - just to cover my ass- made a little comment about going back to the Bride’s playlist - wasn’t nasty or degrading about it, just said “And now we’re going to have a few more tracks from [bride]’s selection….”. Again, the dancefloor cleared in moments, again she comes over to me screaming “HOW DARE YOU EMBARRASS ME ON MY WEDDING DAY!!”. She called my agent, tried to get me fired, told me I wasn’t going to get paid. A really big part of me wanted to just pack my stuff up and leave, but I was in desperate need of the money. I limped out the rest of the gig not daring to say anything on the mic, just sticking to her godawful playlist and wishing it would just end.
At the end of the night, as I was packing up, the groom came up with my cheque, which he’d added a nice tip to, said thanks, and apologised for her behaviour. I breathed a sigh of relief.
10 minutes later, and the bride came back in, screamed at me all over again, demanded I hand the cheque over to her, and then proceeded to rip it up in front of me. The worst part was that I then got it in the neck from my agent the next day too, who’d only heard her side of the story of course. He made me write a letter of apology to her to protect his business.
Strangely, the marriage didn’t last long.
The brides mom shouldn’t be the one to make the decisions it should be the bride and the groom
Groom has a Karen In Law
@@graaaby Ha. Never been married, eh? 😉
You play the best when you have no pressure. Some of your Omegle stuff is the most nuanced, soulful, fully present in the moment playing I've ever heard. If you can put yourself in that mindset during gigs, truly, I think you'll play magnificently.
🙏🏻🙏🏻
It kills me when I go to an event with any live music whether it’s a band, or just a pianist and the musician is really good and people are just ignoring it. I always take the time to acknowledge the musicians and show some appreciation. It’s crazy what people take for granted.
I appreciate you!!
It goes both ways too. I’ve played with some awful musicians and the people don’t notice that either.
I feel like this is more and more common…
You don't owe the band anything. Also, people can do multiple things at a time. Expecting a WEDDING to grind to a halt and hang on every note is ludicrous, and downright narcissistic. That gig IS NOT ABOUT THE BAND. It is about the couple getting married. That's it.
@@krausewitz6786 Exactly. That being said, my band was never asked to do a wedding gig where the bride and groom weren't huge fans of ours. Some of the best gigs, ever, where you're in a humble blues band and they treat you like a rock star.
I've had my share of gigs that had various levels of "soul sucking". I had a professor in college who used to say that gigs can fulfill your mind or they can fulfill your wallet, it's rare that they do both so appreciate those times. I've found for me that gigs where you're playing with people that you don't like or get along with combined with playing music that you're not really into are the most soul sucking. I had a cruise ship contract where the band didn't get along and we were playing cheesy arrangements of pop tunes for 2 months. Being trapped together like that was pretty soul crushing.
Oh geeze yeah that sounds rough 😅 thanks for watching!!
I've always lived by the two in three principle.Playing with people you like, music you like and for money you like - 2 out of 3 of those and you are onto a winner.
When I was roughly your age, I played a bunch of jazz wedding gigs. As a mediocre jazz guitarist, it's really good money. Our quartet could score $1,500 in 1994. And that was pretty sweet. All we had to know was "L.O.V.E." - which is the jazz "Wagon Wheel." But, then we played "Susan's" wedding reception at the lake. Everything was fine until the bridal entourage arrived.
After a few minutes of playing "Old Devil Moon," Susan's mother came over to talk to me. "Yes, you guys sound GREAT! It's just a little bit loud and we're wondering if you could turn it down just a little." We weren't using a PA, but the bassist and I notched down our tiny amps and the trumpet player backed off a little and the drummer choked up on his sticks a tad. When we started "Everything Happens to Me" we were definitely quieter.
Maybe ten minutes later Susan's mom came back to say, "Much better! But some of us are still having trouble talking over your music. If there's any way you can turn it down a little more, that would be lovely. Thank you!" So, we notched everything down, added a Harmon mute and brushes and started "You Make Me Feel So Young."
After about two minutes, Susan's mom stomped over and, through gritted teeth, hissed, "I'm sorry. We can still HEAR you."
So, we turned everything off and we helped ourselves to shrimp and beer. A little while later, the bride came over and said, "Mom wants to know why you stopped playing ... "
LOL
You savages!
Should have warned the bride to divorce her mom the day after the wedding!
Hahaha. You made my day. We always nodded and agreed when asked to play softer and changed absolutely nothing.
So many stories to tell! One wedding various elderly members of the bridal party would come over and tell us to turn down, we kept turning down and they kept asking, then as a joke I told the band to mime playing and I sang unaccompanied off the mic, the mother approached us and said “Perfect”.
In our band, we informed the Karen, “we can’t turn it down.” We kept on playing. Screw you lady, just leave.
Again, as someone who has been in the entetainment business for over 30 years here is what you do... First when someone who is older tells you to turn down, I always ask respectfully: Do you wear Hearing Aids? 9 out of 10 times they say yes.... Well could you please turn them down. And say: I am here to accommodate as many people as possible not just one who is wearing aids that makes everything so much louder. Next this one gets them all the time..... Just say sure No problem... Then make sure they see go to the back of the speaker and pretend to turn it down.. Then a few minutes later go ask them is that okay? Everytime they will say yes.... Believe me this works....
I love that line about 'figuring out things in a forgiving environment'. It's like the research doesn't stop after school, but u just have to figure out spaces where u can develop safely, especially in the beginning.
Yes!!!
I've played weddings in Western PA for about 20 to 25 years. I could tell you so many entertaining stories including...
bridezillas, equipment truck breakdowns, parents fighting, crazy song requests, fights, broken fingers,
In my opinion, these are the things that make weddings fail/not fun
- bride, groom, parents too worried about impressing people rather than having a fun time
- bride/groom that tries to control the song list rather than letting the band read and adjust to the crowd
- too much stopping the momentum for taking pictures
- venue owners/managers are are hard to work with ( although we did very well earning the respect of just about all)
- weddings that are just too damn long
- trying to play the bridal dance polka live for 25 minutes straight.
- having a venue where people can "escape" the atmosphere of the band. For example, if the bar is in a different room or if there is a giant balcony outside and people just hang out there all night.
I have always tried to see if our band was a "good fit" for what they are looking for. I never would try to push it on them. I explained the pros and cons of having a live band and let them make their own decisions. All in all I have had a pleasurable experience playing hundreds of weddings but there are always so many great stories.
I get the soul sucking thing. It's all about balancing and compromising where it is enjoyable for you and the customer.
You brought back some memories to me 😂. God damn some people can't organize a party... Oh man, Well now in retrospect it's funny..
I only lated a few wedding and bridezillas, equipment breakdowns, families fighting, crazy song requests, fights, broken faces pretty much sums it up.,
WOW! A horn player not only "looked" at the charts ahead of time, but actually practiced through them! I applaud you sir!
This what professional musicians should do regardless of the instrument they play
WOW! There were even charts.
Always did when possible.
Your tin whistle solo and everyone’s reactions are always my favorite part
LOL well thanks!
The woman at 0:09 and 0:46 was wowed by that moment in that video.
02:16 - every wedding gig I’ve ever done! Been doing them for over 30 years and there have been a few that grated, but I always play every gig as though it could be my last one and put 100% into it. If you do that, no matter what the circumstances, you know in your heart that you’re doing the thing you most love in the world.
Great answers all around!! Wedding gigs are really the ideal working musician's gigs. Good pay, great hangs, minimal travel, in bed by midnight, lots of variety, and we even get to play jazz sometimes. Soul sucking for me is shutting down the bar at 2AM for a dozen people too drunk to stand playing the same 50 songs like it's Groundhog's Day. And Ross is right -- even that is a "me" problem! He would know haha!
I'm gonna need the unredacted version of this video btw 😂😂
LOL man I agree!! Thanks so much for checking this out it means a lot🙏🏻🙏🏻
They're okay. I rarely get to bed by midnight for wedding gigs though, and the pay is variable. Sometimes, it's great, sometimes it's underwhelming considering the time spent. But everyone's experience will vary
07:45 - 08:00 that was sweet, Frankie. Dood, that solo was fine - NOone would have known you were panicking inside.
Thank youuu somehow we were all on the same page🙈
@@FoolishFrankie you can even see the reaction of your fellow musicians. You nailed it !
Although there WILL be people at weddings who just want a carbon copy of a solo, there are probably a few who really appreciate something more spicy, and if they could even tell it was a "recovery" they'd probably appreciate it even more. In a bland dish, a little spice has a big impact
Not 11:28?
You never get over the fear, you just get better at dealing with it. Thanks again for all your videos, you're an inspiration
❤️🙏🏻
Just said yes to another wedding gig 5 minutes before watching this video; and yes there’s always stuff to learn and things to do better, even in a ‘low pressure’ gig. It’s still someone’s big day, I try to remember that. Augment the joy.
True!!
The trombone player has the right attitude.
Man... this hits hard. I have been struggling playing for people who don't care about the music and to be reminded that there really aren't soul sucking gigs if you manage to keep the right mindset is great. Keeping at it, keeping at it!
Gotta bring the energy you want!🙌🏻🙏🏻
you're bringing joy to the entire room full of people, every time.
I hope so🙏🏻🙏🏻
My feeling is that it is always better to play to entertain than impress, no matter the occasion - it takes the pressure off. Yes, the audience can expect a certain level of musicianship, but the audience will mainly remember a good time/good feeling and not necessarily a blistering solo (but that doesn't mean you shouldn't!!). As you say, the way is to look for personal musical satisfaction/education within the confines of any event and, if you are as talented as you are, it will be recognised within the profession and the more 'musically satisfying' work will come.
Agreed!🙏🏻
I've played many weddings (and had all kinds of "experiences" like many mentioned in this comment section), but, the most important thing to consider when you're thinking about getting into the wedding band business is that there is a massive gulf between 'playing a wedding' and 'running a wedding band' i.e. being the person responsible/having your name on the contract. Playing weddings in someone else's band can be fun, and are almost stress-free. Running the band is ton of work, responsibility and stress. And that's why my own band stopped playing weddings. There's no "fun hang" when you're the guy who's responsible.
Wedding gigs are weddings. The attendees are there to celebrate two people getting married. Not me playing drums. I'm lucky to be paid and trusted to be there whether people watch me or not. Honestly they should be dancing looking into each other's eyes and falling in love. Or falling in love again. Not watching me lol.
As someone who is a musician but not in this style or anything, your improvised solo was great! it sounded like the song and it sounded good! The trumpet player instantly knew it wasn't right lol
I also think if you're with musician friends you like playing with, that must help, eh?
Absolutely! Just like any job, if you hate your co-workers you will likely be unhappy
I think that if you’re playing with your buddies, if you’re good buds you’ll have a good time whatever you play
I love your man on the trombone’s attitude! I never have a bad time getting to play music, so grateful to be able to make money this way, and like he says, most of it is just sitting around hanging out with your mates, I think it’s important to have good people you get along with to play with, I’ve been pretty' blessed to play with a great crowd, but even that being said, my worst day getting paid to play music still beats a lot of the other shitty jobs I’ve had.
Yes, wedding gigs CAN be soul-sucking. Any gig can be. Use the Big 3 to gauge whether it was worth it.
1. Did you make good money?
2. Was it a good band that played music you enjoy playing?
3. Did you like the cats in the band?
Any one of these 3 can make a gig worthwhile and when you combine them it's very fulfilling. If none are present then your soul has just been sucked from your body.
I was getting nervous about a solo that was coming up at a wedding gig in about four bars time….. then a pretty young lady projectile vomited across the dancefloor. Everything stopped as they sent for the mop and bucket and the paramedics dealt with her. We started up again but on the next song. Sometimes the Gods work in mysterious ways 😂
Enjoyed your video… props from the UK.
Omg😅😂 thanks for watching!
Wonder who took her home that night? 🤔
I'm with Frank and that gorgeous Mr. Trumbone: playing music together, wow!
Be here and now, maybe you don't even have a soul, and then, all you got is every moment you take.
Great vid. Loved seeing the You Can Call Me Al tin whistle make an appearance again :)
Thank you!! We play it fairly often at weddings, I just figured it will become monotonous if I post it all the time;p
I'm 71. I started playing violin at age 7, but settled on my instrument of choice, trumpet, at age 10. I've played every kind of gig you could ever imagine, from legit in large orchestras and small chamber groups, to Oktoberfest in oompah bands, to jazz in bands ranging in size from two (me and a piano) to big bands of 19 musicians (as well as big bands that weren't "big" at all -- maybe three horns and a rhythm section). I have played in a marching band and got paid for it: once where we "marched" out in front of a crowd at a rodeo and played the national anthem, stepping in horse and bull excrement along the way, and once where a band of 30 or so band musicians snuck into a casino owner's back yard at 7:00 am and serenaded him with "Happy Birthday" as he stepped onto his back yard patio to drink his morning coffee. I have played with cover bands, including one that featured a sax, a trumpet and a trombone just like this video! I once paraded through a crowded casino just after midnight, playing "When the Saints Go Marching In" to New Year's Eve revelers, marched straight out the door and into the parking lot where my trumpet case was inside my car, got in and drove home. I once had to ride a chair lift in a tuxedo to the lodge at the ski resort where we were playing. I once had a two-week Oktoberfest gig at a Lake Tahoe hotel/casino that lasted eight hours every day. We played for 30 minutes at the Beer Garden, walked through the casino playing oompah music for 15 minutes, an hourly trek that included, at management's insistence, a detour through the employee break room, where we got to endure the stink-eye glares of everyone trying to enjoy a break, and then we took a 15-minute break of our own. We repeated that seven times every day for two weeks. I once played a wedding where the host was a flamboyant 6'5" drag queen who entertained the guests with raunchy humor, and 45 minutes into the gig, the trumpet player sitting next to me looked at me suddenly with raised eyebrows and said, with real surprise, "Wait! Is that a guy?" I was introduced to the patrons of a lounge, twice a night for two weeks, along with the sax and trombone player I played with, by Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits, whose band we accompanied, as guys who had come to Tahoe "to make it big in the music business." Same tired line, twice nightly, for two weeks. I have been hit up by the bass player in a well-known band I played with while they were on tour for "weed" (I had none, and he was disappointed, but he continued his quest until a valet parker he hit up at at a hotel turned him in to the hotel management and he was fired). Those are just a few things I can think of off the top of my head but are representative of stories every working musician can tell you. I can also tell you this: I have played weird gigs under weird circumstances for weird people, but one thing remained constant through my entire career: Once I put the horn to my chops, I enjoyed what I was doing, every single time. And I loved what I did for a living. I never once had a bad time playing music. Last year, I had to retire because of health problems. There is never a day that goes by without me wishing I was still playing.
That's beautiful thank you for sharing!!
Awesome video Frank!.!.As a musician (drummer) having played 1000's of wedding gigs, I always appreciated the opportunity to play with great musicians. AND always enjoyed it. NEVER soul sucking "Never blame the gig" ;) You play with some amazing talented musicians. Such a pleasure to listen to - You're an incredible player yourself. Keep these videos coming- Thank you!
This comment means so much thank you🙏🏻🙏🏻
Babe wake up! FoolishFrankie just dropped a new gig vlog!!!
😂🙏🏻
Used to play a bunch of wedding reception gigs in the Ohio valley in the late 70's & early 80's. Loved it. We were with a wonderful band leader who had played for some of the brides/grooms grandparents weddings, so was very well known and loved. He was initially overly concerned with the ridiculous demands of some of the folks (many were not even connected to the wedding party) but over the course of several gigs we discovered that we could ignore trouble makers & just play! Also, best advice from one of my professors: 4 types of audience members 1. Appreciative non musicians 2. Appreciative musicians at your level 3. Appreciative musicians above your level 4. Hecklers - pay no attention to #4...
The art here is getting the exact inflection of the trumpet without sticking out, tucking in on the unisons and phattening out on the harmonies, how to imply perfect intonation in an equal tempered setting, how to improve the charts by tweaking the octaves or playing a different wind instrument, treating every note as a long tone. It’s not soul sucking if you’re squeezing every drop of art out of it…
Very true!!
Thanks for this! I'm a bassist, been doing weddings for decades and definitely my share of soul sucking ones. Either client based suck-age or subbing with rough situations. A big factor is a chemistry with who you're doing them with as well as not trying to get through one with rather be somewhere else, feeling they're too good to be there, cell phone checking, counting down the minutes til the end of the gig types. One band I was lucky enough to gig with for around 9 years was one of the best bands I ever worked with, bar none. We found ways to make even the tunes we'd played 100s of times interesting, adding little on the fly arrangement stuff etc. As the bone player noted, it beats working all week at WaWa (regional reference) to make the same, if not less, bux! Thanks for letting me ramble! ps, dug the bassist, he was doing the same fills in Brick House that I do!
Yes that’s so true! I played one wedding in particular where it wasn’t just one person with a bad attitude, but nearly everyone in the band and it really made it a drag:/ thanks so much for sharing and I appreciate you watching!!
A wedding gig is a JOB. A job that is chosen. It’s serves a purpose for people paying good money for it. It’s not your “art” or personal expression. And, as my dad used to say “it beats digging ditches”.
If you find those types of gigs “soul-sucking” than…..don’t take the gigs. Also, it doesn’t have to be your favorite gig, but if the band goes into it thinking “this is gonna SUCK”, 1) it’s more likely to suck, and 2) it’s not fair to the people that hired you to ENTERTAIN THEM in their celebration.
True, although I don’t consider a lot of my wedding gigs to be jobs. I love playing the music honestly. I’ve never understood people that shit on the wedding gig thing
Fucking hell, a band of philosopher musicians!
Secretly very impressed!
I love this - being prepared to learn from every experience/gig cos we never stop learning as players do we and that's why I lurve playing - love the tin whistle and how you didn't look like you were 'panicked' about that alto solo.....
So true!! Thank you so much 🙏🏻
These are some great edits man. It really kept me engaged! Good stufff
I really appreciate that!🙏🏻🙏🏻
Your penny whistle on Call Me Al is so perfect. I would be amazed if I were there in person and heard you do that. Very cool. Certain instruments can disappear in the mix. Not so easy to hide the horns. So I get it about being nervous, even at low pressure gigs. But fear not Frankie, you are hard working and dedicated to your craft. Besides you have almost a half a million subscribers who think you are the bomb!!! Rock on!!
I really appreciate the kind words🙏🏻
I was once at a wedding where the Brides mother walked up on stage and turned off the guitarist. Swear to God 🤷♂️. Some people have no idea how to behave. Especially if they are not the Center of attention
Ooh , sadly I can top that , a particularly Karen like mother of the bride connived to find the main plug board and literally pulled the switch on the whole band , luckily the mains conditioner did its job but the gig was definitely over from that point ( we had the dance floor packed at the time too ! )
It was the endless hanging around that drove me crazy doing wedding gigs. The iPhone Scrabble app was a regular occupation... However much you love the other band members you eventually run out of stuff to talk about!
That's why I brought my laptop to get work done! I also usually bring my tin whistle in D and will learn tunes. I try to take advantage of the down time as much as I can:)
You can tell a great video by the tone of the comments. The vibe here is NICE! Thanks for bringing us along!,
❤️🙏🏻
Whoa, crazy, the trombonist is always glad to have a gig. (I too am a trombonist)
Quick joke - there's a squirrel dead in the road, and a trombonist dead in the road, what's the difference?
The Squirrel was on his way to a gig.
LOL luckily Frank has no shortage of work, he plays all around the world with some huge names
@@FoolishFrankieglad to hear it. We all know who the first player in that horn section is to get the boot, no matter how good. Love your videos, I've learned a lot from them. Cheers!
Istg wedding gigs (vlogs at least) are worth it simply to hear you shred that tin whistle on Call Me Al! Legit perfect dude, like the whistling at the end of Sittin' On The Dock (Of The Bay), just iconic.
LOL well thank you so much I honestly love playing that whistle solo!
Best remedy for Soul Sucking gigs? Use The Blues. Albert King, Stevie Ray Vaughan, ect.
Works great on a classical gig
Yeah, lot's of people can fill Stevie Ray's shoes!
@@brushstroke3733 the exact same thing can be said about Charlie Parker, David Sanborn, ect. Would you agree that one can benefit from studying their music??
@@coin777 what are you talking about? He’s talking about wedding/corporate gigs
@@bluessax5089 and you are talking about soul sucking gigs
After a couple decades of production shows and tours, I have been enjoying the wedding gigs since 2012. No one goes to those to have a bad time and the energy is most often a grand feed. I've never had my soul sucked. I enjoy the trumpet, music, and cats like you putting it out there. Horn section sounds GREAT!
Much love🙏🏻🙏🏻
Great video! You always have such great documentation and feedback for the musician life. Can't wait to see what future gigs you get involved with!
Thank you this means so much 🥺🙏🏻
Frankie, I love seeing these glimpses into a working musician life so much like mine. Also that bass player is killing it 👌🏻
Ahh that’s awesome thanks for watching!! And I know right Anton is the man!!
Spent decades in a band as a bass player and sound engineer - FOH and MOH for a couple of big bands. Now moved and quit but this brings so many feelings! Thanks man!
Thanks for watching🙏🏻
"Do you really want to huuuurrrt me...."
Perfect wedding song.
Babe wake up, new FoolishFrankie vlog!!!
😂😂🙏🏻
As horrible as it sounds, I once did a wedding gig on mushrooms. Context; in order to fit into the situation and be part of the night, this ingestation was somehow not only encouraged by the clients, but welcomed. I wasn't driving, so things worked out well. I did that only once, other than that, totally sober for my gigs.
Playing to tracks is always soul sucking -- read: Cruise Ship Pit Band gigs. Oh, and having to play Uptown Funk... always soul sucking. I would never program that overplayed tune in any of my casuals. NONE. And indeed, the hang makes the worst scenarios a fun experience.
I just love your videos. They speak so to me, even though I’m a vocalist I still just get such a huge kick out of every single one. THANK YOU
Thank you so much!!!
Awesome solo. Love watching you get more bold with your playing
Thank you!!🙏🏻
The quarter note trombone solo went way hard
Frank is a beast!
To all those who play/sing for wedding gigs, we musicians are out there too and we know what you do bc we've been there, done that. Play for us, we really appreciate you and hope knowing this will make the experience less soul sucking. If anything, at least you're getting paid and I do hope they treat you well.
The tin whistle made my day
You are getting paid (probably pretty well by the looks of the venue) to play tunes everyone loves, you’ve got a killer band to play with, the people out in the crowd are having fun and enjoying the evening and the celebration. What isn’t there to love about a gig like that?
Exactly!
That Dingwall bass is super sick and classy!
I agree that wedding gigs are only soul sucking if you make them.
You can always have some fun, if you're playing with the right people, even if some circumstances don't go your way.
Be grateful you have work. With friends, not outside, probably paid well. Make the most of it.
I agree with the brass players (and not just because I’m a brass player), but it is a mindset. Every gig can have value if you give it some.
If you feel something is soul-sucking, it might just be that you are burned out. I can only imagine how exhausting it would be to document everything for an internet audience. I feel like that could steal the magic from the music.
Also, I think the expectation that everyone in the audience wants each tune to be the same sounds from that one well-known version of the song, and so you MUST learn it just so, is an unhealthy expectation. It makes us stuck. It does make you a cardboard cutout, like they said in the vid. Making tunes your own, or at least in the moment, is very important. Both for the players and for society. The audience wants to have a good time, but also wants to be brought into the music. That might be by knowing the way you are playing the music, or it might be by getting instructions on how to interact with/clap/dance/move to the music.
And being able to read a crowd is not easy. You have to balance knowing what to play next/being mentally prepared to perform the music in a meaningful way and being in the moment and responding to what music the audience is vibing to and/or requesting. I guess mentally taxing things can be “soul-sucking” if you are not feeling appreciated or if you get that trained monkey feeling, but you have to remind yourself that not everyone these days has the ability to fully appreciate things in the moment (especially when drunk). They may not realize how great you are, how hard you are working, how hard you have worked to make the music you are making. It’s so easy to find errors if you’re looking for them. And these days it seems like everyone’s looking for errors rather than enjoying the moments that are magical.
Centering the crowd can help (breathing in good vibes and setting expectations), but you also have to remember that a wedding is not just about you and your performance. You are supporting the magical day of a couple, and you may not be rewarded ho you expect. It may be after the fact.
Sorry this got long! Thanks for reading!
Great video Frankie. To me, it looks like you found "the band" you were looking for- all of your colleagues are professional (from what you show us lol) and kind and talented. The musicians you work with can make or break the whole situation. I used to be the front-man for a Zappa tribute band (we even toured with Ike Willis) and the guy who led that band was so unbearable that we only did one tour before the drummer and I bowed out of the band. And I had wanted to do a Zappa tribute for years... I'm really happy to see you vibing with your group, and you all sound fantastic. That's the band I'd want at my wedding.
❤️🙏🏻
Wait, how could you have been the front man but not the band leader? I thought Zappa was both in his bands.
@@brushstroke3733 the guitarist was the one who formed the Zappa tribute band, years before I joined, and he had been touring occasionally with Ike Willis. Even though the guitarist formed the band, he did not do vocals. The guitarist brought on a band to fill in the gaps. I was brought on as vocals, keys, and sax/flute. When we didnt have Ike, I did all the singing and banter. When we did have Ike, I did the harmonies and just laid back on keys and horns. We did a two week tour with Ike one time, but before that we did a bunch of gigs and festivals without him. I'm a pretty versatile musician, and try to accommodate whats needed in the band at the time.
@@captainreggae99 Awesome! Thanks for sharing! 👍
I agree with many of the comments saying any gig is fun, has its place, and can be fully enjoyed. I’m curious how fellow musicians feel when they might play the occasional gig with a band or a jam where you play with someone who doesn’t know their instrument or the songs well and end up dominating without realizing they are killing the vibe. I can’t let that go on sometimes. Maybe a different conversation.
I can appreciate wanting to play various tunes on one horn only. I always felt bad (well, not TOO bad 😂) for the woodwind guy lugging two saxes, a flute and a clarinet to a show, and I just have my bit of plumbing to worry about.
You don’t have the right to think it’s soul sucking until you hit every note perfectly every time in every situation, rain wind fire smoke doesn’t matter. It must be perfect.
I always hate when people complain about these gigs but don’t sound good on them…
As a young man I played these _soul sucking gigs_ with people like Kirk Whalum, Everett Harp, Dave Koz, Pops Popwell, John Wackerman, Luis Conte, etc. And the thing that remained constant is that none of these guy phoned it in. It was always fun and there was always an opportunity to grow your skills. The other thing is that some people may feel like these gigs are a waste of their talents. But the key was always about making people happy with your music. And you may play with someone who ends up referring you to your dream gig. You just never know. And you don't want to give off a vibe that you're not into it. Being an entertainer is important. Enjoy the ride.
Soooo true!! Thanks for the comment!
Playing Brickhouse, Call me Al, Up Town Funk = soul sucking
I disagree I love those tunes😂
@@FoolishFrankie Fair enough. I will say if it's a good band, then making music of any kind can be fun. The band sounds great by the way.
How do you find the sheet music weddings gigs for songs such as sweet caroline?
The band I play with provides us with most charts, and then I usually write out songs I don’t have
@@FoolishFrankie thanks so much! I actually auditioned for a Band and got it but they don’t provide charts unfortunately. Any suggestions? Or could you even provide some arrangements? Thanks for the reply 🙏
Nerves are important. I spent many minutes in the bathroom because of nerves. I can tell you with confidence, it will pass! One day you won’t even realize you don’t have the nervousness. Just stay at it because you know that what you do is the right thing. Good work!
❤️🙏🏻
What’s soul sucking is when musicians don’t show up prepared or sub out last minute.
TRUE
The recovery in the solo actually was convincing.
🙏🏻🙏🏻
I played weddings for 35 years. Some felt soul-sucking but they paid a lot of bills. I liked the orthodox Jewish weddings bc they were usually Mon, Tue, Wed nights, usually slow nights for other kinds of gigs. Best for food is Italian weddings. A few decades in, it becomes more and more about the hang.
The guitarist said that there's not a soul-sucking gig, because he gets to play his guitar. I understand that - if I play even some basic nursery songs for my toddler on the guitar, yeah it's zero challenge and not my kind of music, but I still feel like I've enjoyed playing. And even if he's more interested in dropping my plectrum down the sound hole than in my playing, it kinda doesnt matter.
Can you tell me the name of instrument you play with the blue tips. I like it. Can you tell me the maker and model please?
ruclips.net/video/da3_MGY_5gY/видео.html
If someone offered me money to play and sing I would just be so grateful, like the trombonist seems to be. Though it does certainly feel better to have an interested audience.
I just want to remind you that the Dunning Kruger effect is real - the fact that you have so many critiques about your playing means that you are really good. I know when you regularly play with other great musicians, it's easy to compare their best to your worst, but it is important to trust yourself. You may never fully master the instrument, but you are certainly an expert already. I find that when I believe that I'm an expert, I don't feel nervous to perform.
I appreciate you 🙏🏻
Playing with a wedding band is currently my full-time job, and I don't find it to be soul-sucking at all. All of the musicians are extremely talented and we have some killer arrangements. It's honestly a blast.
I have only been to one wedding in my life where there was a band for the reception (and it was my own) I had SO MANY people tell me how much they enjoyed the band at our wedding, and I was so happy people enjoyed it as much as we did (I loved the band we hired they were amazing), I recommended them to a friend who is hiring them for her wedding next year, and I’m so excited to attend as a guest!!! I’m someone who loves music and it resonates with me deeply and personally, but that’s not the same experience for everyone. Not everyone who is enjoying will always LOOK like they’re enjoying the music, but that doesn’t mean they’re not appreciating it in their own way. Hopefully that’s an encouragement.
Ahh that’s awesome!! Definitely, I actually just played a wedding where we couldn’t tell if the bride and groom were enjoying us but after they came up and said how much they loved it and appreciated us which was so sweet! Thanks for watching 🙏🏻
Every gig has to have at least two of three attributes - 1) good money 2) good hang 3) good music. Weddings need to be good money and good hang.
Weddings can be good music?🤔
@@FoolishFrankie they can be but most horn players aren’t looking at it as high art. We’re more like a jukebox. 😂
The other side of this is musicians you hire for your wedding gig and you bend over backwards to make it nice for them, even paying them extra in the hopes they will be happy, and instead the first thing out of their mouth is a complaint about the traffic, the elevator being slow, the stairs being too steep, the weather, the mic stand, the whatever, everything and anything. See, what they REALLY should be doing is headlining Madison Square Garden with their original songs, which of course are all Grammy-worthy. You finally you get fed up with them and get rid of them and you see, 10 years later, that they're doing the exact same gigs with the exact same people at the exact same places and probably driving all THOSE people crazy with their complaints, not you. Ahhhhh!
Oof😅
From the 70’s to early 90’s I endured through every level of bridezilla and Karen-mama madness because weddings paid better than clubs and bars. Since the early 90’s it’s been a firm “hell no!” to weddings. The level of tension and desire for perfection on the part of the bride and mutha of the bride are usually unrealistic; a recipe for failure. Clubs, bars, parties and unscripted gigs lead to a much happier musical life for everyone. Creativity can flow - not an impossible and boring script! People go to weddings because they feel they have to or they are forced. People typically go to clubs, bars and parties because they want to. My musical career has been an absolute joy once I learned to say “no” to weddings.
I should add, there were some excellent and very appreciative brides and crowds through the years, but the joy meter would not stay in the green. ‘Soul-sucking” may be a bit harsh, so maybe unsatisfying is a better term for me. The clubs and bars we started playing (after divorcing weddings) were packed and were a blast, so the contrast for me was striking.
I’m a keyboard player ( sorry but I also cover the horn sections parts 😤) in a five piece soul funk reggae band in the Channel Islands and Weddings for us are normally a no no unless they are “ second time around “ couples of a certain age who know of us and like our genre of music , plus we are in the fortunate position of playing music just for fun , your band as has been commented are way above our level of musicians , but it could be worse many UK weddings are DJ only events , there is not a tradition of Wedding therefore there must be live music as it would appear there is in the USA , keep up the good work and I’ve subscribed
With a group like that though I think I'd enjoy it no matter what. The Trumpet and Trombone player are awesome, I'd be vibin'
Definitely helps to be with great musicians!!
Can definitely relate to the altissimo in the practise room vs the gig. I always mentally tell myself to relax and I find that helps. Venues like the one you played at in the vlog, do you find they suffer "big room" syndrome, where people feel too exposed to dance? Maybe its just a UK thing lol
I’ll be honest I think it mostly has to do with how drunk the crowd gets more than anything😂
@@FoolishFrankie I think you might be on to something there 😂
Always enjoy your vlogs very much! Thank you for making these videos.
Thank you for watching them🥺🙏🏻
Some bride's momzilla wanted "God Only Knows" but we had to change "I may not always love you" to "I know I'll always love you" 😅😅😅😅
That was towards the end of my wedding career. It was death by a million cuts for me.
It took years and years, i always had a good attitude.
I find the soul-suck factor to be related to the pay, quite honestly. No, money isn't the end all be all, but it softens the blow sometimes. Making music is always its own reward, especially at events where there's people, community, life, etc.
0:09 hey it’s the tin whistle girl!
Oh no😂
@@FoolishFrankie hahaha. Recognized her. Too bad you can’t tell us who she is.
Hey great channel! I'm retired now but I've done a thousand of these gigs. I look back on some great gigs and fun times. Thanks for this!
This is awesome, thanks for watching!!🙏🏻
My son plays the Viola and at his age is very good at it. His music teacher told me that he could get a music scholarship with his talent. I told them absolutely not. I want him to have a career that actually pays and isn’t soul sucking. I play the guitar (poorly) and have met A LOT of bitter music teachers because on average MUSIC DOESN’T PAY.
If your son is passionate about the viola, I don’t think it’s right to discourage him to that level. Music definitely pays, but it’s difficult to live anything other than a modest life. Don’t let the examples you’ve seen skew your idea of what being a musician is like for everyone
I grew up poor and hungry. Don’t want that for anyone that I care for. He can be passionate and not need to make a living at it. Just seen a lot of miserable musicians. Their aspirations become their misery. I pay for his private lessons, but sometimes you have to make sensible choices. Providing for yourself is sensible. Proving for a family is noble. I lived in Nashville for a period of time and associated with professional musicians. Most don’t recommend it as they post videos on RUclips similar to yours. This was not the first time I have heard the term,”soul sucking” in regard to performing to make a living. I would rather him be an electrician first and then look for opportunities to perform. I heard a joke once,”what’s the difference between a professional musician and a large pizza… A large pizza can feed a family of four.” Good luck.
Love this. Definitely can be soul sucking but can also be really fun musical experiences. Its fun getting “hypermusical” with the easy wedding standards and requests while making good money.
What feels most soul sucking to me are the occasions where my fellow musicians cant play with energy or dont know how to be musical in the moment.
Editing and storytelling keeps getting better dude. Great vid!
Thank yoouuu I've really been trying to dial it in!! Much love🙏🏻
I’ve played about 2,000 wedding and corporate gigs. Some were more fun than others, but I always played as we as I can. How many times do you go to work, have dinner, and come home with a stack of dough?
Even if you forgot how the solo went, I think that sounded absolutely amazing so...
I guess that in a way Frank is right, there is no soul sucking gigs. Now thinking about it, when I had less experience I often got bored with a lot of gigs. As I progressed in my journey, I started having more fun with the amount of details I could add to the music. Now the only times I get slightly unintrested is when I get a request to play really easy songs. It's all mental, and as some of my buddies would say "Be happy, you're playing music!"
That solo 11:28 was SOUL coming out of your sax!
Let me tell you what is actually soul-sucking... Playing the Renaissance Fair for its duration of 9 weekends straight, (includes both Saturday and Sunday), as well as a few student days towards thr end during the weekdays where it is only open to grade school students as a field trip.
- Although it has been well over 10+ years since I have played this particular gig it still sticks in my mind as just one of those things that had me contemplating why I had ever said yes to something so many times year after year. It was absolutely because of how great the pay was as a poor university student.
Oh man, come to Poland and play Polish disco polo at the wedding it's really soul-sucking that you have no clue :) Poles have no taste at weddings. In the US and UK, it's quite all right and satisfying to play some R&B, Soul, Funk, and even Pop mainstream songs.
Great video, it's fun to hear everyone's take on this!
Thank you!!
Dream gigs are when you get called to play a wedding and it's just calling tunes with a quartet of your friends
My wedding, we tried to be like this. We told the band we wanted a little funk mixed in, and they did the rest. They absolutely killed it.
They were working the crowd, and they played a cover of Shout by Otis Day and the Knights at the peak. Singer knocked it out of the park, got everyone dancing. Every band member ended up doing a solo and stretching it out. Even my distant inlaws with Parkinson got up and got on the floor. I'll never forget how happy my 10 year old niece and my dad looked, dancing together.
Warms my heart, actually, remembering it all.
We really don't pay musicians even, man. Worth every penny, and then some. I have such warm feelings connected to that performance that night.