Yep hard work gets rewarded with MORE work not promotions. Typically the tattle tales and two faced people get promoted instead of the hardworking skilled workers. It isn't about value rather their favorites who are controlled and throw others under the bus.
It's not just "nobody likes you", it is also because if you perform so well at your role, you become too valuable in that role and they do not want to promote you. That's happened to me. Even after I left, they phoned me back many years later and tried to get me back in that role while trying to sell it as something new! 😂
If you do get that call from former employer and need a job, remember to get salary plus perks and other compensation for what you at your current experience level should be making.
@@ALifeAfterLayoff If you aren't married let me put in my bid for that job. lolol I just am so happy someone isn't being a boomer and spouting the same old useless verbiage about work morals and ethics being a key to golden opportunities.
@@CallegriaofSoulbound I don't believe, for a minute, it was ever really about that, but in their time it was a lot closer to being about that than it is today.
Race and Gender are factor. White males are more likely to be promoted. Why do you think ivy league schools put quotas on chinese-americans acceptance.
People have to let go of this idea that we magically mature as we age. Some people actually regress character wise as they get older. Tribalism and pettiness are endemic to human beings
It's called arrested development, these people are stuck back in junior or senior high school. So many women are stuck back in highschool and they are some of the nastiest bitches, back stabbing pieces of work. I have left jobs to get away from this crap! One of these women was referred to as a cancer in the company. They are actually bad for morale and the business bottom line.
This one hurts, but it’s all true. I’ve realized that I’m not cut out for the politics of corporate America. I’m too nice, too honest, and too ethical. I sit with who I genuinely like in the lunchroom and don’t care what anyone else thinks. Upper management has always noticed and liked me, but I’ve found that the only way to get a good salary bump or more responsibility was to leave. Always felt that thinking you’re just too good at your job to get promoted sounds a bit arrogant. But maybe there’s some truth to it. I once confronted a regional bank manager as to why they kept moving me to different branches but never a promotion. Her answer surprised me. She said I was all they had, being flexible, not a complainer, and straightened out audits. Considering my pitiful 1.4% annual raises, I was not flattered.
When I was a manager I recommended my best employee for a management position at another branch. I regretted that decision as I was not able to find a good replacement for him. So I understand very well how someone can be too good to promote. I didn't want to hold him back though and I'd do it again, but I got out of management because I couldn't do the heartless things a "good leader" has to do.
this is interesting subject. Im a newbie when it comes to this but you're saying finding new jobs will get higher salary from the experience you currently have at current job? is that why I always see people come and go sometimes? And Im assuming this only works a NON dead end jobs
Don't seek promotion within the same company, seek promotion outside, you get to expand your knowledge, skills, experiences and toolset, and your salary grows way faster than promotion within the same company. So there's a lot more positives if "Nobody Likes You" than if the whole company likes you. I'm starting a new role but my CV is already updated to land the next job ASAP
nobody truly "belongs" in a place like this. We all want to be at home and mind our own business and have food and water and electricity. but it takes money to purchase food water electricity and the house itself. Spending your precious time at a place like this is a common option to get said money to sustain yourself.... or just marry a rich person and take their money...
Self-awareness is undervalued. I tried the company politics game from a young age thinking that that’s how it had to be done. I got screwed over anyway by people, circumstances, and my own shortcomings. If I realized early on what my real goals were and the best ways to really achieve them, then I probably would’ve saved lots of time, money, and social capital not played that game to get to positions and career tracts that I never wanted or needed anyway.
One person to be concerned with at the workplace YOURSELF! Watch your back! You don't have friends at work! Thank you Brian for "keeping it real" with us. Your videos have helped me in my career as they are true, real, and simple!!!❤
I'm not saying that this video is giving bad advice, but I spent almost 12 years in a job I loved making friends, taking on projects and hanging out with people outside of work. And I still never got promoted. So I am living proof that sometimes doing all of this isn't always enough. As an introvert, it wasn't always easy for me to do these things. But I genuinely thought that if I made friends with the right people and worked hard enough I would eventually get promoted. There are other factors to success as well, often well outside your control.
Dude you lost over a decade at a job that took advantage of you and not to mention the loss of income from wage stagnation. I worked at my first job for 3 years. The promotion always had tons of missing skills for 2 years in a row. By third year i got laid off during covid. I then applied for a job at the next level and got hired for 40% more. And 3 years later im around 110k. Now im seasoned enough to know i will only get the "promotion" by changing jobs every few years.
@@asadb1990 Exactly - I know this now. But this video seems to be saying that instead of doing what you did (applying for new jobs every few years to improve your position and salary), you should stay at a job, suck up to people and get them to like you.
@@pricelesschess yeah i agree that is just terrible advice specially in canada. Im guessing usa is not much better. In canada, the social group at the office tends to be limited to those that know each other. Your boss doesn't really want to network with their underling. The only exception is younger girls who every guy wants to talk you for any reason. And even if your employer likes your work and thinks you are great, that doesn't mean they will want to actually get to move you up. Plus i also find, the employer likes you if you stay great at your role for the same pay they hired you. The minute you ask for money, things change. The employer will first try to delay you but if you keep pushing they may give you money to keep you quiet while they look for replacements.
I fully agree with you Brian, in this sad but true video. I've seen some real bull-artists rise up the corporate ladder, simply from talking to the supervisors all day about random non-work-related stuff. What makes it worse is if a person is introverted, has autism, or simply is into different things to their colleagues, they are shunned into oblivion, no matter how hard/smart they work.
Can definitely second your opinion on the autism. Was recently diagnosed at 40 but spent at least 15 years in a corporate culture that while not outwardly ableist wasn't doing me any favors either. But this whole job hopping thing, while it makes sense, isn't so easy when you are what I am, and just GETTING the job is an accomplishment in and of itself, when our employment and underemployment rates are in the toilet. Never mind trying to climb some ladder when you're basically clueless as to how that works, especially when daily interactions are a minefield and those don't have major financial consequences when they go bad. But now I work from home, moved to a new area which I love, so it's been a positive experience. Unfortunately the assumption that "everyone should be able to job hop and advance" line is just too simplistic.
Yup, any difference will do it. I've got ADHD and bad Social Anxiety and yes it's a barrier. My expectations are low as most offices consist of a toxic management clique and everyone else tries to keep their heads down. Anything perceived as too 'weird' or off centre and you are marginalised no doubt about it
@@draneym2003 do you have any tips? I'm 30 and am waiting for an official diagnosis, but a therapist and a psychologist think I have autism and the more I read the more it all makes sense. I've always had issues with socializing and I think it's really hit my career hard
Yes, that's so me as an introvert. New career options for folks who perform KPI even when they actually fail their tasks. And get praised whilst team members have to rework their "achievement".
Kind of true, but social skills are only part of it. The hard truth is management really doesn't want to promote the most skilled people who actually get the work done. Lesson is, if you want to get promoted, then be good enough, but not great at your job. You'll be too hard to replace
This is true. I did this and it worked. I used to put in long hours, first one to get in, last one to leave. never got promoted. Switched jobs and just did what everyone else did BUT i worked harder on being visible to the people that mattered. Boom. I got promoted.
It's also harder to be liked if your not in the same social strata as your bosses. Some organizations if your not a pale male who likes football then forget it. They won't even consider liking you and there is not a lot you can do it about it as they promote people they feel comfortable with.
Workplace politics trumps everything. If you’re not loved by the bosses, you’re toast. What bothers me the most is the fakery in corporate environments. This is why I’ve checked out and haven’t returned. Refreshing
I will forever remember my last full time job. I was laid off after they sold out. They made it look like they were going to keep me but didn't. They changed my desk and I was now sharing with my coworker from the company bought out. Next to our desk was a desk used by a young in college intern. He only worked a small number of hours. He was a hard worker and striving to do a good job to prove himself. One day, his leader came to our desk area looking for him. I do not recall our exact conversation but believe I may have asked how the young man was doing. His manager said he was doing too well and had finished the work they gave to him. He said he was not happy about this because it was making him look bad. I was flabbergasted that his good work could make this manager look bad and he was not happy about it. What? You Gotta be kidding, I thought!
It’s true !!! Favouritism is real !!! I’ve seen it too many times . But also managers do watch who u hang out with and socialize with! And how you present yourself during meetings .. are u sitting way in the back or at the front engaged??? … So definitely important to choose your social ties at work wisely if you’re looking to get promoted.
I agree 100% with needing to be liked to advance. I know my job, do it well, and consistently deliver, but that's not enough. If someone above doesn't like something about you, instead of working through it, they will find an HR approved way of letting you go. I've been "downsized" 7 times...I've been employed 7 times. Currently unemployed.
If you work at a company AND THINK you have to suck ass to get ahead, don't. You won't feel good about yourself & there's millions of jobs out there. Don't give the narcissists power. Just leave and expose their evil to the world; that is priceless.
Spoken like a bunch of woman who have excessive incomes from a parent or significant other. Rich man: Money doesn't buy happiness. Poor Man: But it sure buys the ability to stay alive which makes me happier.
If nobody likes you that means you took care of you first and stood up for yourself. This isnt high school were I have to be popular, however networking with right people in or our workplace should serve a gain for YOU!!! Not the company.
@@ALifeAfterLayoffcorrect but if nobody likes then hey the world doesn't have to like as long respect yourself and dignity and give respect when earn that all that matters.
@@ALifeAfterLayoff This is what I worry about. I’ll be honest again like I was in my earlier comment but I wasn’t always the most popular person. Heck, I have always felt like I had to kind of rely on my work because I wasn’t necessarily well liked or I was just Struggling with other issues that sadly people didn’t like about me. So how do you get ahead with that? I know now that I’ve got this chip on my shoulder and I know I should get rid of it but I also just feel like on some level maybe we should like and respect people no matter what, and value their work, and who they are as a person.maybe this isn’t the right channel for us though
The best advice I ever got was no matter what your job title is, your job is quite simply “make your manager look great at all times no matter what”. Nothing more, nothing less
@@ALifeAfterLayoff hmmm I’m pretty sure I actually got quiet fired from my last job as a result of successfully overturning a bad policy that I had warned my managers would only result in complaints. I told them not to pursue it from day one. They ignored me and then we got 40+ formal complaints about it (just as I’d anticipated). As the complaints were investigated I explained exactly that the entire team of SMEs had warned our managers not to implement the bad policy and that we were completely ignored. So in order to get the best job done (as in getting a good policy through instead) I unintentionally made my managers look silly. What a mistake! Never mind promotion, I never got assigned a project ever again since that shenanigan! Guess that’s the thanks I got for doing my job properly
i've found that managers tend to like you when you make their life easier. when you are reliable and always up to help, the managers start thinking of you first when they need something important done and will then think of you when they need a position filled
The last time I took on a high visibility project I was then expected to do more high profile projects on top of my regular workload all while being told I was needed in my current role instead of being promoted. It's always been easier for me to job hop for more money than play the game. I pride myself in not needing to be liked by ineffective leadership; I'd rather be authentic to myself than call a turd a rose so that maybe I get a promotion. If you're good at what you do, your skillset will be in demand and you don't need to play politics. Suffer fools gladly doesn't mean work for fools.
But some companies especially large organizations promote employees that doesn't mean the employee stop their daily tasks they just take on additional responsibilities with more pay. I don't understand why a company can't promote an employee bcos it's hard to fill their role 🤔
Many technical people want to get promoted but being promoted means going from IT work to management. What most people mean by being promoted is actually they just want more money for doing the same work. Few people really want to do the management jobs. Very few people also have the people skills to be a good manager.
In short, it's office politics. If the politics of the office works for you, you're more likely to get promoted. If not, you'll stay where you are or even get pushed to leave. Things like personal interests and religious affiliations can come into play here.
True and accurate picture, Brian. After 40 + years in the workplace what we experience as abject favoritism, because it is, also smacks of the cloning error or similarity bias. Real leadership skill is often passed over for affinity to the cultural personality.
Sad but true. I unfortunately ran into this and my career was stuck for years. What seemed to work is when I threatened to leave, and I magically had VPs all over the place calling me asking me to stay. Apparently I was noticed, just not liked :-)
I wasted 25 years of my life trying to be a theater artist, but was unable to successfully relate to the middle- and upper-middle-class decision makers. Now, I get paid literally twenty times as much money to do less than half the work at an office job, thanks to the saccharine, obviously-fake yet palatable persona I can adopt in the workplace. I would rather have been an artist, but it’s nice having a home and an office and knowing where my next meal is coming from. And it was all thanks to being likable in the most superficial, unchallenging way possible.
And hey having the essentials down is a freaking good place to be. And maybe you can do something theatre-related on your own at some point. Don't give up on your dream 😄
I don't do politics, & I really abhor workplace cliques... all you can really do is accept all challenges/opportunities and work to a standard that you can derive some level of satisfaction, invest in yourself and always keep your options open. Funny how when the proverbial hits the fan Management suddenly remembers your name and needs help to start shovelling 🤣
As much as I disagree with Bryan on certain things, I like the fact that he is more truthful than most so-called employment "experts". I can only imagine this gets him into trouble. It's never about your skills, it's never about your attendance...it's always about being someone's BUDDY!
What you've said is so true. If you look at the folks in middle mgt that continue to climb the ladder, few are any more competent than you but they associate with the right 'kids' at lunchtime and 'recess '. It's sad that folks entrusted to make multi million dollar decisions for companies are so easily manipulated by these climbers. It's their job to find the best for promotion not their buddy. But as someone else said...high school never ends. It's discouraging.
They are typically *less* competent in my experience. Their skill is politicking and managing their career, not executing a job function, like actually leading a team.
Sometimes not getting promoted happens because you're in a position that's difficult to keep full... people keep burning out but your ADHD brain thrived on the constant interruption of first line customer service. This happens in government offices too. It's nice to be considered a hero but also frustrating.
This reminds me of a book I read years ago called Who Really Matters. It talks about that unofficial structure in companies that get some people ahead whiles others do not.
I've been around long enough to see that what you are saying is absolutely right. I struggle with the social "game" and consequently, advancing into roles I want has been extremely difficult.
I have to say it’s more management doesn’t like you not necessarily everyone in the department. Some coworkers can actually be sympathetic if they truly see the impact of your work but by the end of the day it’s the manager’s discretion no one else. The thing I don’t understand is when managers don’t like you, they keep you stuck at that position but at the same time they panic and feel a pinch when the same person decides to resign their position which to me doesn’t make any sense. This happened to me with my last manager but when it was time for me to quit since I got a better offer from a better manager she couldn’t really take it in and bursted into tears and was worried about all the tasks I was doing. I simply told her “you should see it as an opportunity to fill the role with someone new who is a better fit for you!”
As an introvert (& according to data), if ur gonna put in the work to socialize/make acquaintances do it EXTERNALLY. Networking ROI > than internal fraternizing. 💁♂️
This is true. Did what u was told to do to "earn" the promotion and got passed over. Killed my relationship with my boss. You cant push merit and then ignore merit
I just ended an internal process and I was rejected. Despite both managers gave me good compliments during the interviews but at the end, "I am sorry but we picked someone else, but we want to keep your resume for future openings bla Bla". I was raged and disappointed but those feelings aren't good for my health. I decided to take it cool and practicing some stoicism. It works. It wasn't for me. Being an asslicker is something I won't do and what needs to be done is to improve myself. Hiring processes are getting worse everytime
Hiring processes sure are getting worse. I recall one time I aced the multi-day process, surviving the gauntlet, only to be asked if I would accept a pay cut. This is one reason I don't bother anymore.
There are also times when management sees you as so good at your job, they know if you were to move on that replacing you at your present job would be harder for them to fill.
As someone who works in a big bank in corporate america, I can fully attest that EVERYTHING he said is TRUE! Whether you like it or not. I was someone who didn’t like or align myself with ideology and I can tell you, it won’t get you anywhere unless you play the game. I’m just now at 30 years old learning how to play the game, I’ve even had upper management confirm to me that this ideology is true. Now that you know, make sure you play as a free agent!
@@vale_rawrrrx3593 My poor Dad (could've been a doctor, lawyer, artist, author, whatever, he's a genius, got a business degree in college). Took over his dad's failing insurance agency with his little brother. Revived and ran it for over 30 years. Even after selling it, at his age of 66, he's still working in it to a much lesser degree. Very grateful to not be in charge anymore, and he's just introducing clients (especially their big ones, but any of them) to their new agents. I worked there during my summers when I wasn't in HS. That's where I learned I am NOT meant for office work!!! And insurance is... tiring. We used to make about an hour commute everyday to that place. I was so depressed when I got on that elevator with that stale odor of bitterness and depression. Yeah...
Another thing to consider is the stability and growth trojectry for the company. If your company is slowing down with growth and having regular layoffs, it doesn't matter how many high profile projects you succeed in (and I'm speaking from experience), you'll be lucky if you just keep your job.
If being ‘popular’ doesn’t come easy to you due to your personality or other factors, don’t try too hard to be someone you aren’t. Pretending to be someone you’re not for too long may earn you some short term successes but will mentally screw you in the long term and make you miserable. There’re are other ways of being successful in life and career by playing to your strengths rather than falsely trying to be liked by people who will not like you otherwise.
Absolutely. I was I my position for a year when they promoted another employee into my job role. They wanted to have two people to handle the load. She had been here a year before me, but since she’s friends with some key players and moved her desk to be right next to them, she’s getting more responsibilities and jobs that I should be getting. They’re all friends in and out of work as well, it really felt like the deck was stacked before I came in.
Very true, but if you work in the public sector then being the most disliked person can get you promoted. Promoted to get rid of you. We had an unbearable coworker who was helped with getting promotions to other teams because they wanted her to go away. It's impossible to fire public sector employees, so promotions are the only way to get rid of undesirables.
This was me. 100. I swear you are looking at me for this one. 😂 Could have used this a year ago when I still had time to turn it around! Absolutely great videos, my friend. Your honesty is refreshing.
I'm an agreeable person that gets along with most people. I start a job and will quickly be on a casual basis with the managers that run the place. But this also paints a target on my back for the narcissist in the group. A narcissist always assumes you are saying bad things about them. It isn't long until rumors are spread about me, or I'm accused of "not respecting the chain of command". Next thing you know, I'm fired. I would love advice with dealing with narcissists in the workplace. I'm frequently targeted by them and they see me as a threat before I even know what's going on.
I would say this has been my number 1 issue as well. They are relentless. They have a false identity and they use other people to support it, often in detrimental ways. I’d suggest writing them off as a total loss and training yourself to not seek anything from them and not go out of your way to give anything to them. Be laser focused on what you need to succeed and make sure you’re achieving these things. Don’t be for or against them, just be focused on what you need. So if they have an attitude about you only be concerned if it gets in the way of what you need. Then make your argument from the aspect that you need this to be successful. Then they can argue that you don’t need that to be successful and may be right and that will help you but you are not ever going to tell them that there is something wrong about who they are. So it’s never personal then, you just need to accomplish a task and if they are in the way you can say I really need to get this task done, it’s nothing personal and really mean it.
Preach... preach! Spent five years under a boss who I got along with, but was not my advocate and he managed upward rather than manage his people. Not only did he not promote me, he also prevented me from leaving the team due to his political status, as nobody wanted to mess up his apple cart. Should've left the company much earlier than I did. Hindsight is 20/20. Your posting today is GOLD!
Knew all this already, i deliberately make myself invisible so as to not get a promotion. promotions hardly justify the increase in workload for the the minor uplift in salary.
One of my senior management also told me that there are a lot of people who bootstrap themselves up the chain of command, however one reason why less qualified people get promoted is that they are easier to work with and many of the bootstrappers all they do is shoot down every new idea and process and never provide solutions and are difficult to work with.
Now I trust nobody, and my coworkers are not my friends. I do my job, and I try to be efficient as possible. Promotion is still possible, and you do not have to be liked. By not trusting anybody and staying OFF of social media (your boss or others are spying on you). I also earned my graduate degree.
This is the best video for me right now. I work really hard at my job but don't fit in very well. Just today I left work thinking about how my workplace makes it very clear that you can be as bad at your job as you want as long as you are able to joke about it with the rest of the team and they like you. It might be a cynical and disappointing thought, but it's an honest observation.
The part that caught my attention was the mentor. I was just thinking the other day, I have no mentor. No one who knows more than me to consult or ask tougher questions. No one to teach me anything new or suggest paths of training. Inside or outside my company. That is a huge part of my frustration in trying to do my job. I can see how the lack of networking has me at a complete dead end. Major issue that I need to address.
Here's an alternative "character build": Lean into wallflower-job. Get good. Stay invisible. Switch jobs strategically, until you hit the ceiling of your chosen role's pay bracket. Attract no attention, acquire no further responsibilities. I didn't say it was for everyone, but it's certainly the more stress-free option.
My name is, Thomas I've been a contagiant worker at HP and I am on the spectrum myself. I don’t care about workplace jerks who are not honest with me and I also put forth effort in each task at my job. People can be unreasonable and especially engineers can be cold hearted people. They rather judge a book by its cover and I don’t waste my time talking to them nowadays. That is my view of my job and been there for 5 1/2 years putting up with their crap. Thank you for reading my comment and have a great day.
In my agency you fill out an IDP every year, and Individual Development Plan. Upper management does actually read them. If you want to be promoted tell management. They will find opportunities for you. Realize that management idea of quickly is not yours. But you also need to put together a plan B if nothing happens the first year. That is what happened to me. My Plan B was to take some extra classes in the field which I did and I showed management my certs. Next year I got the position I wanted. Also when management does offer you an opportunity take it. It may not be the ideal job but it is a step up. I have seen too many people turn down crappy positions waiting for the perfect job but when that position does open up it's given to folks who management already knows and who have earned it by doing all the crappy jobs no one else wanted.
Going from job to job, but I live in the South, and unfortunately, I don’t drive a pickup truck, don’t sleep around, and don’t do drugs or dip. So, no win situation, there
Even if you do all this, there's no guarantee they'll notice you and certainly not be interested. If you didn't get the promotion, it's because they already had someone else in mind. You're probably one of dozens vying for the opportunity to advance while the company is benefitting from your hard work.
When I'm deciding whether to give a raise or promotion, I distill it into 3 factors, 1) skill, 2) productivity and 3) attitude. This video is referencing number 3. I agree with some of the messaging in this video but skill and productivity are not redundant as this video suggests or lesser important factors. And if you're highly skilled, productive and have a great attitide and you can't get moved up the ladder or given opportunities, then it's time to subject your services to other competitors of your current employer and find an opportunity that way.
Because late-stage capitalism at its very core is an oppressive system run by pos' who would be better off fertilizng farmland, ie the only thing they are good for.
I learned this the hard way a few years ago, it frustrated me to no end when colleagues with less exp were being promoted before me, and it helped me decide to make a transfer of department for the better (thank goodness it worked) and I've been moving up in my org much faster ever since. Your manager and higherups make a difference in your career and in your PRs. But yes, you got to work on your work visibility (projects, committees, etc) to get more opportunities with executive leadership and protect your career. Make yourself invaluable and ABI (always be interviewing).
One thing to add is that no matter how much you've networked and how many projects you've volunteered for or how many workshops you've hosted to help members of the organization, leadership changes make all past efforts null and void, so if you're in an organization with turn over at the senior level, it can make it harder to leverage those efforts if you don't nail the first impressions. Would you agree?
Even better, if my job doesn't give proper promotion, I will shit on the company. And as a high level programmer, many companies have little choice but to let me.
Why some people get selected, and others don't, is because of Favoritism. The company I work for has plenty of that. At least maybe that specific facility. Thanks for the heads up, Brian.
I think the trick is being able to make the hard decision to walk away and take work elsewhere. Companies get comfortable with keeping certain people in their place, and the only way to escape that is to be willing to leave for a better deal.
So odd that managers have biases with poor performing employees just because they act like a chad and make everyone laugh…but the hard working employees who don’t fool around get laid off 😭 Life makes no sense
I have a colleague who it seems is following what you said. He is very friendly and introduces himself to every new person he meets, often goes to watering hole and engages in conversations there, frequently uses small talk to ask how are you and how was your weekend, attends all outside-work meetings. But it seems to me he is far from being popular. In the team, he is the least liked person judging by my colleagues' behavior. His buddies, whom he hangs out with the most in the office, seem to spend more time with each other than with him. He is doing everything "right" but dunno what is missing from him, he doesn't achieve his goal of being liked and respected by other employees. Let alone the boss. Maybe being sociable and trying to make connections to everyone is not everything
Honestly, I'm not sure if I'd want to stick around a company for years and hope that someone will like me enough to promote me. If it works out in time great but it's expensive to accept 3% raises year after year while you are biding your time. Video is a good reminder not to be a jerk though. Doesn't cost a thing to be nice to other people.
When so good they can’t ignore you turns into: Hiring people into positions so that you cannot advance there. Promoting same level coworkers at the same level who had no experience prior into new positions supervising you. After a reorganization change, getting a zero performance rating and then taking away your raise for that year.
I got pigeonholed in a very specific job function and wondered this very thing. For some jobs they need to keep you where you are because you get so good at your pigeonhole job they just don't want to replace you. it's easier to give you more and more work.
I just assume I'll never be promoted so I take the skills and experience and go to other positions. Also, it's up to you to better yourself through education and certifications. If you hit a wall, you'll just have to go through it and adapt. I'm currently working on my second master's degree because I know the path I have to take and getting certified in my chosen career field will open many doors. If you don't do these things you will get stuck and you have no one to blame but yourself.
Man I wish I was like that. I'm 38 and social anxiety basically destroyed my life. It was so bad that I let it prevent me from trying to further my education. I was also absolutely horrible at basic math in K-12 and barely passed high school because of it. Whoever graded my exit exams must have done me some favors because there's no way I legit passed the math tests. So that was the other reason I didn't try to go to college or anything. My failures at math early in life helped destroy my self confidence, looking back now. Struggled with getting a steady job from age 18 until 27. Been stuck at the same job for years with insanely long commutes and VERY little time to myself. Didn't even try to get another job for many years because I just don't see where I fit in with this society, so I didn't even try. But the last year I have been actually trying to at least get a job close to home because if I don't do something nothing will ever change. Relocated to a nearby city where there is potentially more jobs than my old small town. After about 3 dozen applications no one would hire me. I could go on and on but there's no point really.
Yes! All very true. I have seen all this game played out over the years. The ideal of meritocracy is just not the way it works anymore in most places. If senior management wants to promote you, then you will be promoted. If not, it's time to find another career - which is what I did :) Your only weapon, if you are not the lucky type, is get a marketable skill that's in high demand and sell your talent to the highest bidder.
Yes. You need to be known and liked by those at the top. Just being liked by everyone is not enough. Simply doing well at your job is probably good to keep you employed, but nothing more.
So how does one get noticed in a remote work position? Have a friend who works from home full time as an IT support tech and is struggling to get noticed so he can move up the ladder in his organization. Thanks for the channel and all the advice. Very helpful.
Getting noticed remotely is more difficult, especially if there's an office culture. Be involved in very visible projects, preferably supporting the upper leadership team's initiatives.
to be fair though, most 50 people employed companies dont really have possibility for promotion anyways. its like inside sales, outside sales sales manager, production manager etc. but thats it.
Very true and it’s so annoying seeing that. Sometimes employers do that to just give more responsibilities to them. Others may see it as giving more power. I say this because where I use to be, almost nobody likes the way such employee worked in the department.
It does not matter how good or qualify you are you still won't get promoted. If your boss looks at you and think to himself/herself, " humm s/he doesn't look like management material; you won't get promoted. It pretty much like a job recruiter not liking your image regardless that you are way more qualify than the other candidates, s/he will not hire you. Heck, it's not even about charisma, demeanor, image, or anything; it's all about a person's preferences of people. So if you feat people's preferences, you will get the job or that promotion. Life is totally bs, set rules don't really apply.
There's some truth here - if your skills/experience/performance isn't/aren't the basis for promotion where you're employed, what's left? If 'the best man for the job' isn't how those decisions are made, then all that's left is a purely subjective opinion of you by the person in control of your position there. If that's how it is where you are, then the advice in the video - believing you can influence that - may fall flat. I think you can try to be agreeable and popular but in the end, it's not really up to you. I say, do your job the best you can and get along with everyone the best you can but if you aren't promoted, recognize that it's not a decision you completely control.
My last boss was chosen because he was on the morning shift and I was swing. Bosses of course need to be there in the morning. I absolutely did not mind because it was a position I was not going to stay at. The manager before him said that I was overqualified for the position and that he knew I'd be bored. The new boss even told me that I was more qualified and I told him that this is a great opportunity for you to build your resume for the future. I've gotten way better and challenging offers since I left that are more of a match to my skills.
Great advice! So true! I’d also add from personal experience two other great people to be friends with at work or deepen your relationship with / have lunch with: the janitor(s) and security. I was tipped off by the janitor at a previous job who overheard my boss say I was getting fired. My boss had no idea the janitor spoke English or that I had morning coffee with her before work almost every day. Janitors, especially the ones who are the same gender as your supervisor and can clean the restroom while they use it, hear EVERYTHING. They always know whose getting promoted, fired, sleeping with who, etc. Security is also extremely valuable - whether you forgot your badge or you are getting fired or laid off and your badge gets turned off and you need to sneak your personal belongings out quickly without making a scene. Being friends with security is super useful. Obviously, those relationships ultimately will mean nothing if you aren’t also friends with people at the top. Watch Death of a Salesman if you haven’t already. It is all about being well liked in the corporate world.
Haha thats true, I was friendly with the maintenance people at my last job, they were usually nice and super helpful when you needed something done, I always appreciated them and a lot of them were fun to talk to unlike my coworkers.
@@rra7490 Yep. I was nice to the maintenance man, and when I needed a heavy framed poster put up, he came and did it right away even though it wasn’t his job. He was happy and proud to do it.
@@rra7490 I’ve noticed the same. I’ve worked for the biggest media companies in the world and at both espn and Disney, my best friends were security and the janitors and how could I forget this in my original comment but the MAIL ROOM CLERKS! Literally the best people at big companies. I needed to take an urgent private call one time and one of the mail room clerks unlocked the nursing mothers room for me because she was a nursing mother and had access to it, I’ll never forget that small kindness. Always make friends with everyone in the mail room! Might not help your career at all but helps if your boss is an asshole about you getting packages at work, and helps with just general quality of life stuff.
@@pulidobl haha, it was actually the receptionist who got me fired, so not always! She was jealous that she found me playing Jenga with her work crush at our company St Patrick’s Day party and made up a bunch of lies about me to our boss. Fun times.
I am a horrible self-marketer, and I hate playing political games at work, which is probably why I never got as far as I could have (or I'm simply in the wrong niche). Any advice for introverts? :)
Introvert here. What helped me was being kind and honest, but also setting boundaries and having a keen eye of people who tried advantage of me. Looking back into what may have helped is that I'm a good listener, so people just started to talk with me and I listened and tried to help when possible. I don't like gossip so that helped too since I never tell anything. Adding to this I rarely had complains about my performance (I had some time management issues in ocassions due personal reasons, but we're humans so we have our ups and downs). After a while upper management started to notice me because of people saying that I helped them, so eventually I got promoted. I hope this experience helps you.
Is it maybe possible to find something you and your boss or the people you need to network with have in common? I started watching Dodgers baseball in college because my alumni mentor who was assigned to me through my university loved the Dodgers. I knew I wanted to have something to text him about out of the blue that he would enjoy that wasn’t asking for a job. If you bring up conversation topics about THEIR hobbies, or THEIR kids, it’s usually a slam dunk. The great thing about people in power having their own offices is that usually they will have photos or trinkets on the wall or on their desk of things they like. It’s pretty easy to tell someone’s family/hobbies/favorite sports teams by just looking at their desk usually. I regularly got face time with a very high up senior executive at a previous job. My secret? He was a Chargers fan in an office full of fans of other teams. I’d watch 5 minutes of Chargers highlights on Sunday and he knew he could count on me to come to my desk and be able to talk the Chargers with him first thing every Monday morning. I was a temp and we weren’t even on the same team. But one of my biggest regrets is not nurturing that relationship more - it has to be two parts, you have to get them interested in talking to you and also follow up and eventually say hey can you help me with my career. Knowing how to do that would be a very interesting video.
Unfortunately, these are some very harsh truths that none likes to acknowledge. Hard work and technical skills are not enough for a successful carrier. On the other hand, companies tend to loose employees that are dedicated and focused on their job, and wonder why they have high turnover of skilled workers that are very difficult and expensive to replace.
It's too bad that so few companies recognize the opportunity to wipe the floor with the competition if they just made a concerted effort to promote based on competence instead of likability.
I have always known this but I never cared as I work smart enough to make myself key to the team. I never gotten a promotion but when the markets good, I'll usually just promote myself and get a new job. But the next couple years look grim so I'm going to have to stay pact for now
High school truly never ends.
For real yo. I get why people retire now. 🤢
Most underrated comment.
EVER.
This!!! So This!!!!
I feel this in my soul.
If you think about it, hogh school is a mini representation of the real world. Its all about who you know.
The more you volunteer for tough projects and you succeed, the more work will be dumped on you for no reward. It’s the sad truth in many companies.
Yep hard work gets rewarded with MORE work not promotions. Typically the tattle tales and two faced people get promoted instead of the hardworking skilled workers. It isn't about value rather their favorites who are controlled and throw others under the bus.
You are absolutely right
100%
It's not just "nobody likes you", it is also because if you perform so well at your role, you become too valuable in that role and they do not want to promote you. That's happened to me. Even after I left, they phoned me back many years later and tried to get me back in that role while trying to sell it as something new! 😂
Remember, it's not who's best at their job, it's who likes you best. Being best at your job just gets you more work.
This is why you gotta switch jobs every few years
If you do get that call from former employer and need a job, remember to get salary plus perks and other compensation for what you at your current experience level should be making.
@@ALifeAfterLayoff If you aren't married let me put in my bid for that job. lolol I just am so happy someone isn't being a boomer and spouting the same old useless verbiage about work morals and ethics being a key to golden opportunities.
@@CallegriaofSoulbound I don't believe, for a minute, it was ever really about that, but in their time it was a lot closer to being about that than it is today.
He is so right. Y’all thought popularity and politics ended in high school. Na bruh think again
So true!
The popularity contest actually gets worse in the workplace.
Race and Gender are factor. White males are more likely to be promoted. Why do you think ivy league schools put quotas on chinese-americans acceptance.
People have to let go of this idea that we magically mature as we age. Some people actually regress character wise as they get older. Tribalism and pettiness are endemic to human beings
It's called arrested development, these people are stuck back in junior or senior high school. So many women are stuck back in highschool and they are some of the nastiest bitches, back stabbing pieces of work. I have left jobs to get away from this crap! One of these women was referred to as a cancer in the company. They are actually bad for morale and the business bottom line.
This one hurts, but it’s all true. I’ve realized that I’m not cut out for the politics of corporate America. I’m too nice, too honest, and too ethical. I sit with who I genuinely like in the lunchroom and don’t care what anyone else thinks. Upper management has always noticed and liked me, but I’ve found that the only way to get a good salary bump or more responsibility was to leave. Always felt that thinking you’re just too good at your job to get promoted sounds a bit arrogant. But maybe there’s some truth to it. I once confronted a regional bank manager as to why they kept moving me to different branches but never a promotion. Her answer surprised me. She said I was all they had, being flexible, not a complainer, and straightened out audits. Considering my pitiful 1.4% annual raises, I was not flattered.
Having people like you is one thing, but they didn’t respect you.
yup i am in the exact same shoes as you. im the best guy they found for my role. and they don't want to move me out of it.
When I was a manager I recommended my best employee for a management position at another branch. I regretted that decision as I was not able to find a good replacement for him. So I understand very well how someone can be too good to promote. I didn't want to hold him back though and I'd do it again, but I got out of management because I couldn't do the heartless things a "good leader" has to do.
this is interesting subject. Im a newbie when it comes to this but you're saying finding new jobs will get higher salary from the experience you currently have at current job? is that why I always see people come and go sometimes? And Im assuming this only works a NON dead end jobs
Don't be ashamed for being ethical, honest & nice. It may not pay now, but it will in the future elsewhere.
Don't seek promotion within the same company, seek promotion outside, you get to expand your knowledge, skills, experiences and toolset, and your salary grows way faster than promotion within the same company. So there's a lot more positives if "Nobody Likes You" than if the whole company likes you. I'm starting a new role but my CV is already updated to land the next job ASAP
very wise
ty
What I've realized is I just don't belong in a place like this.
Same!
Me either. I need my own business!
nobody truly "belongs" in a place like this. We all want to be at home and mind our own business and have food and water and electricity. but it takes money to purchase food water electricity and the house itself. Spending your precious time at a place like this is a common option to get said money to sustain yourself.... or just marry a rich person and take their money...
Self-awareness is undervalued. I tried the company politics game from a young age thinking that that’s how it had to be done. I got screwed over anyway by people, circumstances, and my own shortcomings. If I realized early on what my real goals were and the best ways to really achieve them, then I probably would’ve saved lots of time, money, and social capital not played that game to get to positions and career tracts that I never wanted or needed anyway.
I feel like I never belonged on earth I don’t align with anything here
One person to be concerned with at the workplace YOURSELF! Watch your back! You don't have friends at work! Thank you Brian for "keeping it real" with us. Your videos have helped me in my career as they are true, real, and simple!!!❤
@A_R_B_G Everyone I interact with is an "associate" - friends are "dime a dozen" and ultimately they can be burdensome.
I agree, even if today I am likable to seniors, tomorrow it may change. Best thing is to associate oneself with trustworthy people who helps us grow.
I'm not saying that this video is giving bad advice, but I spent almost 12 years in a job I loved making friends, taking on projects and hanging out with people outside of work. And I still never got promoted. So I am living proof that sometimes doing all of this isn't always enough.
As an introvert, it wasn't always easy for me to do these things. But I genuinely thought that if I made friends with the right people and worked hard enough I would eventually get promoted.
There are other factors to success as well, often well outside your control.
Dude you lost over a decade at a job that took advantage of you and not to mention the loss of income from wage stagnation. I worked at my first job for 3 years. The promotion always had tons of missing skills for 2 years in a row. By third year i got laid off during covid. I then applied for a job at the next level and got hired for 40% more. And 3 years later im around 110k. Now im seasoned enough to know i will only get the "promotion" by changing jobs every few years.
@@asadb1990 Exactly - I know this now. But this video seems to be saying that instead of doing what you did (applying for new jobs every few years to improve your position and salary), you should stay at a job, suck up to people and get them to like you.
@@pricelesschess yeah i agree that is just terrible advice specially in canada. Im guessing usa is not much better. In canada, the social group at the office tends to be limited to those that know each other. Your boss doesn't really want to network with their underling. The only exception is younger girls who every guy wants to talk you for any reason. And even if your employer likes your work and thinks you are great, that doesn't mean they will want to actually get to move you up. Plus i also find, the employer likes you if you stay great at your role for the same pay they hired you. The minute you ask for money, things change. The employer will first try to delay you but if you keep pushing they may give you money to keep you quiet while they look for replacements.
It’s like that quote from Star Trek, you can do everything right and still lose. True for all aspects of life, especially money and love.
Tbh. As an introvert, I learned of you are gonna out in the work to socialize/make acquaintances DO IT EXTERNALLY. Networking has much better ROI.
I fully agree with you Brian, in this sad but true video. I've seen some real bull-artists rise up the corporate ladder, simply from talking to the supervisors all day about random non-work-related stuff. What makes it worse is if a person is introverted, has autism, or simply is into different things to their colleagues, they are shunned into oblivion, no matter how hard/smart they work.
Can definitely second your opinion on the autism. Was recently diagnosed at 40 but spent at least 15 years in a corporate culture that while not outwardly ableist wasn't doing me any favors either. But this whole job hopping thing, while it makes sense, isn't so easy when you are what I am, and just GETTING the job is an accomplishment in and of itself, when our employment and underemployment rates are in the toilet. Never mind trying to climb some ladder when you're basically clueless as to how that works, especially when daily interactions are a minefield and those don't have major financial consequences when they go bad. But now I work from home, moved to a new area which I love, so it's been a positive experience. Unfortunately the assumption that "everyone should be able to job hop and advance" line is just too simplistic.
Yup, any difference will do it. I've got ADHD and bad Social Anxiety and yes it's a barrier. My expectations are low as most offices consist of a toxic management clique and everyone else tries to keep their heads down. Anything perceived as too 'weird' or off centre and you are marginalised no doubt about it
@@draneym2003 do you have any tips? I'm 30 and am waiting for an official diagnosis, but a therapist and a psychologist think I have autism and the more I read the more it all makes sense. I've always had issues with socializing and I think it's really hit my career hard
Yes, that's so me as an introvert. New career options for folks who perform KPI even when they actually fail their tasks. And get praised whilst team members have to rework their "achievement".
Kind of true, but social skills are only part of it. The hard truth is management really doesn't want to promote the most skilled people who actually get the work done. Lesson is, if you want to get promoted, then be good enough, but not great at your job. You'll be too hard to replace
This is true. I did this and it worked. I used to put in long hours, first one to get in, last one to leave. never got promoted. Switched jobs and just did what everyone else did BUT i worked harder on being visible to the people that mattered. Boom. I got promoted.
Higher ups also have egos and will choose brown-nosing over competence every single time.
It's also harder to be liked if your not in the same social strata as your bosses. Some organizations if your not a pale male who likes football then forget it. They won't even consider liking you and there is not a lot you can do it about it as they promote people they feel comfortable with.
Yes they promote whoever kisses their ass
@@NatashaEstradaand it happens the same things but the other way around it. If you arent a woman, or a colored person or whatever
Workplace politics trumps everything. If you’re not loved by the bosses, you’re toast. What bothers me the most is the fakery in corporate environments. This is why I’ve checked out and haven’t returned. Refreshing
Remember in school growing up when teachers tell you life is not a popularity contest. Well turns out that’s all life is to succeed
I know. Then you get the teachers who have their favourites. Mark down and make up excuses to the students they don’t like.
I will forever remember my last full time job. I was laid off after they sold out. They made it look like they were going to keep me but didn't. They changed my desk and I was now sharing with my coworker from the company bought out. Next to our desk was a desk used by a young in college intern. He only worked a small number of hours. He was a hard worker and striving to do a good job to prove himself. One day, his leader came to our desk area looking for him. I do not recall our exact conversation but believe I may have asked how the young man was doing. His manager said he was doing too well and had finished the work they gave to him. He said he was not happy about this because it was making him look bad. I was flabbergasted that his good work could make this manager look bad and he was not happy about it. What? You Gotta be kidding, I thought!
It’s true !!! Favouritism is real !!! I’ve seen it too many times . But also managers do watch who u hang out with and socialize with! And how you present yourself during meetings .. are u sitting way in the back or at the front engaged??? … So definitely important to choose your social ties at work wisely if you’re looking to get promoted.
It's true. They don't like me. I think it is because I don't like them.
It is a mutual understanding. A feeling that does not have to be seen to be known.
I agree 100% with needing to be liked to advance. I know my job, do it well, and consistently deliver, but that's not enough. If someone above doesn't like something about you, instead of working through it, they will find an HR approved way of letting you go. I've been "downsized" 7 times...I've been employed 7 times. Currently unemployed.
Enjoy your time off and good luck with your next job search
Dude, start your own business on the side. These corp jobs are not stable
If you work at a company AND THINK you have to suck ass to get ahead, don't. You won't feel good about yourself & there's millions of jobs out there. Don't give the narcissists power. Just leave and expose their evil to the world; that is priceless.
Exactly.... Because losing your identity and respect to those circus clowns does nothing for you in life.
Spoken like a bunch of woman who have excessive incomes from a parent or significant other. Rich man: Money doesn't buy happiness. Poor Man: But it sure buys the ability to stay alive which makes me happier.
@@CallegriaofSoulbound Spoken like a true incel. GTOH.
@@jmboyd65 Unfortunately, there's a lot in common between romantic relationship dynamics and business relationship dynamics.
@@jmboyd65 spoken like a woman who believes all men want a women. :)
If nobody likes you that means you took care of you first and stood up for yourself. This isnt high school were I have to be popular, however networking with right people in or our workplace should serve a gain for YOU!!! Not the company.
That's the point - your network serves YOU to get ahead in your career, regardless of what company you work for.
@@ALifeAfterLayoffcorrect but if nobody likes then hey the world doesn't have to like as long respect yourself and dignity and give respect when earn that all that matters.
@@ALifeAfterLayoff
This is what I worry about. I’ll be honest again like I was in my earlier comment but I wasn’t always the most popular person. Heck, I have always felt like I had to kind of rely on my work because I wasn’t necessarily well liked or I was just Struggling with other issues that sadly people didn’t like about me. So how do you get ahead with that? I know now that I’ve got this chip on my shoulder and I know I should get rid of it but I also just feel like on some level maybe we should like and respect people no matter what, and value their work, and who they are as a person.maybe this isn’t the right channel for us though
Sadly high school bullies run the show in companies too. They’re the hiring managers, recruiters, sales teams, executives, etc running the show. 😢
@@still_your_zelda I don’t know if that’s quite true. Depends on who they are and what company. I know it seems like they do but it depends.
The best advice I ever got was no matter what your job title is, your job is quite simply “make your manager look great at all times no matter what”. Nothing more, nothing less
That is good advice, but even making your boss look good may not open the next door. Decisions are often made a couple levels up.
True. But keep in mind they usually don’t have final say as to who gets what.
@@ALifeAfterLayoff hmmm I’m pretty sure I actually got quiet fired from my last job as a result of successfully overturning a bad policy that I had warned my managers would only result in complaints. I told them not to pursue it from day one. They ignored me and then we got 40+ formal complaints about it (just as I’d anticipated). As the complaints were investigated I explained exactly that the entire team of SMEs had warned our managers not to implement the bad policy and that we were completely ignored. So in order to get the best job done (as in getting a good policy through instead) I unintentionally made my managers look silly. What a mistake! Never mind promotion, I never got assigned a project ever again since that shenanigan! Guess that’s the thanks I got for doing my job properly
Nah, I’m not making a toxic person look good so they can abuse me and disrespect my time. That’s exactly why I started watching this channel.
@@rockstarofredondo I wish it was that simple
i've found that managers tend to like you when you make their life easier. when you are reliable and always up to help, the managers start thinking of you first when they need something important done and will then think of you when they need a position filled
Solid!
The last time I took on a high visibility project I was then expected to do more high profile projects on top of my regular workload all while being told I was needed in my current role instead of being promoted. It's always been easier for me to job hop for more money than play the game. I pride myself in not needing to be liked by ineffective leadership; I'd rather be authentic to myself than call a turd a rose so that maybe I get a promotion. If you're good at what you do, your skillset will be in demand and you don't need to play politics. Suffer fools gladly doesn't mean work for fools.
Exactly my thoughts
*Ab-so--bloody-lutely* 👍
But some companies especially large organizations promote employees that doesn't mean the employee stop their daily tasks they just take on additional responsibilities with more pay. I don't understand why a company can't promote an employee bcos it's hard to fill their role 🤔
It's not about what you know, it's about who you know.
And who you blow, too…
Many technical people want to get promoted but being promoted means going from IT work to management. What most people mean by being promoted is actually they just want more money for doing the same work. Few people really want to do the management jobs. Very few people also have the people skills to be a good manager.
So nepotism and cronyism huh? Got it. I'll never be promoted because I graduated highschool and refuse to return to it.
In short, it's office politics. If the politics of the office works for you, you're more likely to get promoted. If not, you'll stay where you are or even get pushed to leave. Things like personal interests and religious affiliations can come into play here.
Just be a high level Mason
It's all so pathetic.
True and accurate picture, Brian. After 40 + years in the workplace what we experience as abject favoritism, because it is, also smacks of the cloning error or similarity bias. Real leadership skill is often passed over for affinity to the cultural personality.
Sad but true. I unfortunately ran into this and my career was stuck for years. What seemed to work is when I threatened to leave, and I magically had VPs all over the place calling me asking me to stay. Apparently I was noticed, just not liked :-)
I wasted 25 years of my life trying to be a theater artist, but was unable to successfully relate to the middle- and upper-middle-class decision makers. Now, I get paid literally twenty times as much money to do less than half the work at an office job, thanks to the saccharine, obviously-fake yet palatable persona I can adopt in the workplace. I would rather have been an artist, but it’s nice having a home and an office and knowing where my next meal is coming from. And it was all thanks to being likable in the most superficial, unchallenging way possible.
And hey having the essentials down is a freaking good place to be. And maybe you can do something theatre-related on your own at some point. Don't give up on your dream 😄
What on earth is “theatre art”?
@@itachiuchiha6876
The art of the elements that make up a stage play I think
I don't do politics, & I really abhor workplace cliques... all you can really do is accept all challenges/opportunities and work to a standard that you can derive some level of satisfaction, invest in yourself and always keep your options open.
Funny how when the proverbial hits the fan Management suddenly remembers your name and needs help to start shovelling 🤣
😂
As much as I disagree with Bryan on certain things, I like the fact that he is more truthful than most so-called employment "experts". I can only imagine this gets him into trouble. It's never about your skills, it's never about your attendance...it's always about being someone's BUDDY!
What you've said is so true. If you look at the folks in middle mgt that continue to climb the ladder, few are any more competent than you but they associate with the right 'kids' at lunchtime and 'recess '. It's sad that folks entrusted to make multi million dollar decisions for companies are so easily manipulated by these climbers. It's their job to find the best for promotion not their buddy. But as someone else said...high school never ends. It's discouraging.
They are typically *less* competent in my experience. Their skill is politicking and managing their career, not executing a job function, like actually leading a team.
Sometimes not getting promoted happens because you're in a position that's difficult to keep full... people keep burning out but your ADHD brain thrived on the constant interruption of first line customer service. This happens in government offices too. It's nice to be considered a hero but also frustrating.
This reminds me of a book I read years ago called Who Really Matters. It talks about that unofficial structure in companies that get some people ahead whiles others do not.
It’s typically the stuff NOT written that matters most in work…and in life.
Professional support is a rare, rare thing.
I've been around long enough to see that what you are saying is absolutely right. I struggle with the social "game" and consequently, advancing into roles I want has been extremely difficult.
I have to say it’s more management doesn’t like you not necessarily everyone in the department. Some coworkers can actually be sympathetic if they truly see the impact of your work but by the end of the day it’s the manager’s discretion no one else. The thing I don’t understand is when managers don’t like you, they keep you stuck at that position but at the same time they panic and feel a pinch when the same person decides to resign their position which to me doesn’t make any sense. This happened to me with my last manager but when it was time for me to quit since I got a better offer from a better manager she couldn’t really take it in and bursted into tears and was worried about all the tasks I was doing. I simply told her “you should see it as an opportunity to fill the role with someone new who is a better fit for you!”
As an introvert (& according to data), if ur gonna put in the work to socialize/make acquaintances do it EXTERNALLY. Networking ROI > than internal fraternizing. 💁♂️
This is true. Did what u was told to do to "earn" the promotion and got passed over. Killed my relationship with my boss. You cant push merit and then ignore merit
Been there.
I just ended an internal process and I was rejected. Despite both managers gave me good compliments during the interviews but at the end, "I am sorry but we picked someone else, but we want to keep your resume for future openings bla Bla".
I was raged and disappointed but those feelings aren't good for my health. I decided to take it cool and practicing some stoicism. It works. It wasn't for me. Being an asslicker is something I won't do and what needs to be done is to improve myself.
Hiring processes are getting worse everytime
Hiring processes sure are getting worse. I recall one time I aced the multi-day process, surviving the gauntlet, only to be asked if I would accept a pay cut. This is one reason I don't bother anymore.
are you planning to stick around at that job or look elsewhere? Probably did pick someone else because they liked them better.
I practice stoicism too, and also stick with gig work to distance myself from the dysfunctional business world.
That’s why I no longer kill myself at work. I just do my best. If it’s not good enough for them, they can go ahead and find someone else.
There are also times when management sees you as so good at your job, they know if you were to move on that replacing you at your present job would be harder for them to fill.
As someone who works in a big bank in corporate america, I can fully attest that EVERYTHING he said is TRUE! Whether you like it or not. I was someone who didn’t like or align myself with ideology and I can tell you, it won’t get you anywhere unless you play the game. I’m just now at 30 years old learning how to play the game, I’ve even had upper management confirm to me that this ideology is true. Now that you know, make sure you play as a free agent!
So glad I don't work in that industry. Sounds as bad as insurance 😂
@@unlistedandtwisted LOLLL I actually used to work for an insurance company prior to coming to banking and I can 100% it’s just as bad 😂
@@vale_rawrrrx3593 My poor Dad (could've been a doctor, lawyer, artist, author, whatever, he's a genius, got a business degree in college). Took over his dad's failing insurance agency with his little brother. Revived and ran it for over 30 years. Even after selling it, at his age of 66, he's still working in it to a much lesser degree. Very grateful to not be in charge anymore, and he's just introducing clients (especially their big ones, but any of them) to their new agents. I worked there during my summers when I wasn't in HS. That's where I learned I am NOT meant for office work!!! And insurance is... tiring. We used to make about an hour commute everyday to that place. I was so depressed when I got on that elevator with that stale odor of bitterness and depression. Yeah...
Another thing to consider is the stability and growth trojectry for the company. If your company is slowing down with growth and having regular layoffs, it doesn't matter how many high profile projects you succeed in (and I'm speaking from experience), you'll be lucky if you just keep your job.
And yet the most successful people in life and business tend to be those with the courage to be disliked! 😅
If being ‘popular’ doesn’t come easy to you due to your personality or other factors, don’t try too hard to be someone you aren’t. Pretending to be someone you’re not for too long may earn you some short term successes but will mentally screw you in the long term and make you miserable. There’re are other ways of being successful in life and career by playing to your strengths rather than falsely trying to be liked by people who will not like you otherwise.
Also, the rest of the group will pick up on your acting eventually.
Absolutely. I was I my position for a year when they promoted another employee into my job role. They wanted to have two people to handle the load. She had been here a year before me, but since she’s friends with some key players and moved her desk to be right next to them, she’s getting more responsibilities and jobs that I should be getting. They’re all friends in and out of work as well, it really felt like the deck was stacked before I came in.
Sorry. You know what time it is…
@@pulidobl what time is that?
@@crossbones8956time to gtfo of there.
Damn. That quote that goes "It's not what you know, it's who you blow" is actually the real deal... As much as I hate that, it makes sense.
Very true, but if you work in the public sector then being the most disliked person can get you promoted. Promoted to get rid of you. We had an unbearable coworker who was helped with getting promotions to other teams because they wanted her to go away. It's impossible to fire public sector employees, so promotions are the only way to get rid of undesirables.
Most def Not impossible. Mgrs are to lazy to document issues and monitor PIPs. It’s toxic mgrs that Get moved/“promoted” in govt jobs
This was me. 100. I swear you are looking at me for this one. 😂 Could have used this a year ago when I still had time to turn it around! Absolutely great videos, my friend. Your honesty is refreshing.
I seldom hang out with coworkers, avoiding team events. A true work-life balancer 😊
I'm an agreeable person that gets along with most people. I start a job and will quickly be on a casual basis with the managers that run the place. But this also paints a target on my back for the narcissist in the group. A narcissist always assumes you are saying bad things about them. It isn't long until rumors are spread about me, or I'm accused of "not respecting the chain of command". Next thing you know, I'm fired.
I would love advice with dealing with narcissists in the workplace. I'm frequently targeted by them and they see me as a threat before I even know what's going on.
This happened to me at my previous job. My boss saw me as a threat because the executive director felt comfortable talking to me.
I would say this has been my number 1 issue as well. They are relentless. They have a false identity and they use other people to support it, often in detrimental ways. I’d suggest writing them off as a total loss and training yourself to not seek anything from them and not go out of your way to give anything to them. Be laser focused on what you need to succeed and make sure you’re achieving these things. Don’t be for or against them, just be focused on what you need. So if they have an attitude about you only be concerned if it gets in the way of what you need. Then make your argument from the aspect that you need this to be successful. Then they can argue that you don’t need that to be successful and may be right and that will help you but you are not ever going to tell them that there is something wrong about who they are. So it’s never personal then, you just need to accomplish a task and if they are in the way you can say I really need to get this task done, it’s nothing personal and really mean it.
Preach... preach! Spent five years under a boss who I got along with, but was not my advocate and he managed upward rather than manage his people. Not only did he not promote me, he also prevented me from leaving the team due to his political status, as nobody wanted to mess up his apple cart. Should've left the company much earlier than I did. Hindsight is 20/20. Your posting today is GOLD!
I’ve learned: there are competent people and then there are likable people. Sometimes there are both.
Many times there are neither
One of the biggest reasons people don't get promoted is because the skills required to be the boss are different.
Like Joshua Fluke said, its not who you know its who you blow
Knew all this already, i deliberately make myself invisible so as to not get a promotion. promotions hardly justify the increase in workload for the the minor uplift in salary.
One of my senior management also told me that there are a lot of people who bootstrap themselves up the chain of command, however one reason why less qualified people get promoted is that they are easier to work with and many of the bootstrappers all they do is shoot down every new idea and process and never provide solutions and are difficult to work with.
Now I trust nobody, and my coworkers are not my friends. I do my job, and I try to be efficient as possible. Promotion is still possible, and you do not have to be liked. By not trusting anybody and staying OFF of social media (your boss or others are spying on you). I also earned my graduate degree.
This is the best video for me right now. I work really hard at my job but don't fit in very well. Just today I left work thinking about how my workplace makes it very clear that you can be as bad at your job as you want as long as you are able to joke about it with the rest of the team and they like you. It might be a cynical and disappointing thought, but it's an honest observation.
What do you do?
@@28goldenboy I'm a mental health technician at an residential facility for eating disorders.
The part that caught my attention was the mentor. I was just thinking the other day, I have no mentor. No one who knows more than me to consult or ask tougher questions. No one to teach me anything new or suggest paths of training. Inside or outside my company. That is a huge part of my frustration in trying to do my job. I can see how the lack of networking has me at a complete dead end. Major issue that I need to address.
Here's an alternative "character build": Lean into wallflower-job. Get good. Stay invisible. Switch jobs strategically, until you hit the ceiling of your chosen role's pay bracket. Attract no attention, acquire no further responsibilities.
I didn't say it was for everyone, but it's certainly the more stress-free option.
My name is, Thomas
I've been a contagiant worker at HP and I am on the spectrum myself. I don’t care about workplace jerks who are not honest with me and I also put forth effort in each task at my job. People can be unreasonable and especially engineers can be cold hearted people. They rather judge a book by its cover and I don’t waste my time talking to them nowadays. That is my view of my job and been there for 5 1/2 years putting up with their crap.
Thank you for reading my comment and have a great day.
In my agency you fill out an IDP every year, and Individual Development Plan. Upper management does actually read them. If you want to be promoted tell management. They will find opportunities for you. Realize that management idea of quickly is not yours. But you also need to put together a plan B if nothing happens the first year. That is what happened to me. My Plan B was to take some extra classes in the field which I did and I showed management my certs. Next year I got the position I wanted. Also when management does offer you an opportunity take it. It may not be the ideal job but it is a step up. I have seen too many people turn down crappy positions waiting for the perfect job but when that position does open up it's given to folks who management already knows and who have earned it by doing all the crappy jobs no one else wanted.
Going from job to job, but I live in the South, and unfortunately, I don’t drive a pickup truck, don’t sleep around, and don’t do drugs or dip.
So, no win situation, there
Even if you do all this, there's no guarantee they'll notice you and certainly not be interested. If you didn't get the promotion, it's because they already had someone else in mind. You're probably one of dozens vying for the opportunity to advance while the company is benefitting from your hard work.
Im been one who has benefited from this myself. This video hits it out of the park on why. This is for every industry.
A signor engineer said, "Work for your manager and not for your company." There is a reason for that.
When I'm deciding whether to give a raise or promotion, I distill it into 3 factors, 1) skill, 2) productivity and 3) attitude. This video is referencing number 3. I agree with some of the messaging in this video but skill and productivity are not redundant as this video suggests or lesser important factors.
And if you're highly skilled, productive and have a great attitide and you can't get moved up the ladder or given opportunities, then it's time to subject your services to other competitors of your current employer and find an opportunity that way.
THIS is why I hate corporate America and freelance!
Because late-stage capitalism at its very core is an oppressive system run by pos' who would be better off fertilizng farmland, ie the only thing they are good for.
It has become the same in much of Western/Northern Europe but not as bad as U.S!
It is not just "more visible", it is that they are polished at brown-nosing, and avoid exposing any incompetency in management.
I learned this the hard way a few years ago, it frustrated me to no end when colleagues with less exp were being promoted before me, and it helped me decide to make a transfer of department for the better (thank goodness it worked) and I've been moving up in my org much faster ever since. Your manager and higherups make a difference in your career and in your PRs. But yes, you got to work on your work visibility (projects, committees, etc) to get more opportunities with executive leadership and protect your career. Make yourself invaluable and ABI (always be interviewing).
You, my friend, "get it".
Great video and 100% spot on. With that being said it's a good reminder why i got out of this rat race. Much better to just live a simpler life
One thing to add is that no matter how much you've networked and how many projects you've volunteered for or how many workshops you've hosted to help members of the organization, leadership changes make all past efforts null and void, so if you're in an organization with turn over at the senior level, it can make it harder to leverage those efforts if you don't nail the first impressions. Would you agree?
Even better, if my job doesn't give proper promotion, I will shit on the company. And as a high level programmer, many companies have little choice but to let me.
Why some people get selected, and others don't, is because of Favoritism. The company I work for has plenty of that. At least maybe that specific facility. Thanks for the heads up, Brian.
I think the trick is being able to make the hard decision to walk away and take work elsewhere. Companies get comfortable with keeping certain people in their place, and the only way to escape that is to be willing to leave for a better deal.
So odd that managers have biases with poor performing employees just because they act like a chad and make everyone laugh…but the hard working employees who don’t fool around get laid off 😭
Life makes no sense
I have a colleague who it seems is following what you said. He is very friendly and introduces himself to every new person he meets, often goes to watering hole and engages in conversations there, frequently uses small talk to ask how are you and how was your weekend, attends all outside-work meetings. But it seems to me he is far from being popular. In the team, he is the least liked person judging by my colleagues' behavior. His buddies, whom he hangs out with the most in the office, seem to spend more time with each other than with him. He is doing everything "right" but dunno what is missing from him, he doesn't achieve his goal of being liked and respected by other employees. Let alone the boss. Maybe being sociable and trying to make connections to everyone is not everything
Honestly, I'm not sure if I'd want to stick around a company for years and hope that someone will like me enough to promote me. If it works out in time great but it's expensive to accept 3% raises year after year while you are biding your time. Video is a good reminder not to be a jerk though. Doesn't cost a thing to be nice to other people.
And you shouldn't stick around for years waiting. A steady job is bad for your career.
When so good they can’t ignore you turns into:
Hiring people into positions so that you cannot advance there.
Promoting same level coworkers at the same level who had no experience prior into new positions supervising you.
After a reorganization change, getting a zero performance rating and then taking away your raise for that year.
I got pigeonholed in a very specific job function and wondered this very thing. For some jobs they need to keep you where you are because you get so good at your pigeonhole job they just don't want to replace you. it's easier to give you more and more work.
Great video. It took me 20 years to realize this. Politics is an important skill to have in one's career.
I just assume I'll never be promoted so I take the skills and experience and go to other positions. Also, it's up to you to better yourself through education and certifications. If you hit a wall, you'll just have to go through it and adapt. I'm currently working on my second master's degree because I know the path I have to take and getting certified in my chosen career field will open many doors. If you don't do these things you will get stuck and you have no one to blame but yourself.
👏 Well said. Good day 😊
Man I wish I was like that. I'm 38 and social anxiety basically destroyed my life. It was so bad that I let it prevent me from trying to further my education. I was also absolutely horrible at basic math in K-12 and barely passed high school because of it. Whoever graded my exit exams must have done me some favors because there's no way I legit passed the math tests. So that was the other reason I didn't try to go to college or anything. My failures at math early in life helped destroy my self confidence, looking back now. Struggled with getting a steady job from age 18 until 27.
Been stuck at the same job for years with insanely long commutes and VERY little time to myself. Didn't even try to get another job for many years because I just don't see where I fit in with this society, so I didn't even try. But the last year I have been actually trying to at least get a job close to home because if I don't do something nothing will ever change. Relocated to a nearby city where there is potentially more jobs than my old small town. After about 3 dozen applications no one would hire me. I could go on and on but there's no point really.
This is great perspective for medium to large organizations, but generally inapplicable to small businesses with fewer than 10 people.
Yes! All very true. I have seen all this game played out over the years. The ideal of meritocracy is just not the way it works anymore in most places. If senior management wants to promote you, then you will be promoted. If not, it's time to find another career - which is what I did :)
Your only weapon, if you are not the lucky type, is get a marketable skill that's in high demand and sell your talent to the highest bidder.
Yes. You need to be known and liked by those at the top. Just being liked by everyone is not enough. Simply doing well at your job is probably good to keep you employed, but nothing more.
So how does one get noticed in a remote work position? Have a friend who works from home full time as an IT support tech and is struggling to get noticed so he can move up the ladder in his organization.
Thanks for the channel and all the advice. Very helpful.
Getting noticed remotely is more difficult, especially if there's an office culture. Be involved in very visible projects, preferably supporting the upper leadership team's initiatives.
U basically don’t. Best thing u can do is volunteer for projects effecting multiple units.
Get a new job. Repeat every three years
@@maxb2244 this is the best way to get better pay.
No need to get noticed. Just keep building skills and switch companies.
to be fair though, most 50 people employed companies dont really have possibility for promotion anyways. its like inside sales, outside sales sales manager, production manager etc. but thats it.
This is a miserably sad (but true) commentary on the American workplace. Disgraceful that we have fallen this far.
Very true and it’s so annoying seeing that. Sometimes employers do that to just give more responsibilities to them. Others may see it as giving more power. I say this because where I use to be, almost nobody likes the way such employee worked in the department.
It does not matter how good or qualify you are you still won't get promoted. If your boss looks at you and think to himself/herself, " humm s/he doesn't look like management material; you won't get promoted. It pretty much like a job recruiter not liking your image regardless that you are way more qualify than the other candidates, s/he will not hire you.
Heck, it's not even about charisma, demeanor, image, or anything; it's all about a person's preferences of people. So if you feat people's preferences, you will get the job or that promotion. Life is totally bs, set rules don't really apply.
There's some truth here - if your skills/experience/performance isn't/aren't the basis for promotion where you're employed, what's left? If 'the best man for the job' isn't how those decisions are made, then all that's left is a purely subjective opinion of you by the person in control of your position there. If that's how it is where you are, then the advice in the video - believing you can influence that - may fall flat. I think you can try to be agreeable and popular but in the end, it's not really up to you. I say, do your job the best you can and get along with everyone the best you can but if you aren't promoted, recognize that it's not a decision you completely control.
My last boss was chosen because he was on the morning shift and I was swing. Bosses of course need to be there in the morning. I absolutely did not mind because it was a position I was not going to stay at. The manager before him said that I was overqualified for the position and that he knew I'd be bored. The new boss even told me that I was more qualified and I told him that this is a great opportunity for you to build your resume for the future.
I've gotten way better and challenging offers since I left that are more of a match to my skills.
Great advice! So true! I’d also add from personal experience two other great people to be friends with at work or deepen your relationship with / have lunch with: the janitor(s) and security. I was tipped off by the janitor at a previous job who overheard my boss say I was getting fired. My boss had no idea the janitor spoke English or that I had morning coffee with her before work almost every day. Janitors, especially the ones who are the same gender as your supervisor and can clean the restroom while they use it, hear EVERYTHING. They always know whose getting promoted, fired, sleeping with who, etc. Security is also extremely valuable - whether you forgot your badge or you are getting fired or laid off and your badge gets turned off and you need to sneak your personal belongings out quickly without making a scene. Being friends with security is super useful.
Obviously, those relationships ultimately will mean nothing if you aren’t also friends with people at the top. Watch Death of a Salesman if you haven’t already. It is all about being well liked in the corporate world.
Haha thats true, I was friendly with the maintenance people at my last job, they were usually nice and super helpful when you needed something done, I always appreciated them and a lot of them were fun to talk to unlike my coworkers.
@@rra7490 Yep. I was nice to the maintenance man, and when I needed a heavy framed poster put up, he came and did it right away even though it wasn’t his job. He was happy and proud to do it.
@@rra7490 I’ve noticed the same. I’ve worked for the biggest media companies in the world and at both espn and Disney, my best friends were security and the janitors and how could I forget this in my original comment but the MAIL ROOM CLERKS! Literally the best people at big companies. I needed to take an urgent private call one time and one of the mail room clerks unlocked the nursing mothers room for me because she was a nursing mother and had access to it, I’ll never forget that small kindness. Always make friends with everyone in the mail room! Might not help your career at all but helps if your boss is an asshole about you getting packages at work, and helps with just general quality of life stuff.
Janitors and secretaries! Receptionist, too, if they have one…
@@pulidobl haha, it was actually the receptionist who got me fired, so not always! She was jealous that she found me playing Jenga with her work crush at our company St Patrick’s Day party and made up a bunch of lies about me to our boss. Fun times.
Spot on! if you want something you've never had you have to do something you've never done.
I am a horrible self-marketer, and I hate playing political games at work, which is probably why I never got as far as I could have (or I'm simply in the wrong niche). Any advice for introverts? :)
I second this. Any suggestion.
I'll work on something about this. I'm an introvert too.
Introvert here. What helped me was being kind and honest, but also setting boundaries and having a keen eye of people who tried advantage of me. Looking back into what may have helped is that I'm a good listener, so people just started to talk with me and I listened and tried to help when possible. I don't like gossip so that helped too since I never tell anything. Adding to this I rarely had complains about my performance (I had some time management issues in ocassions due personal reasons, but we're humans so we have our ups and downs). After a while upper management started to notice me because of people saying that I helped them, so eventually I got promoted. I hope this experience helps you.
@@ALifeAfterLayoff
Stop lying. You're not an introvert, although you dress like one. 😊 I'll be keeping my eye out for that video you promised.
Is it maybe possible to find something you and your boss or the people you need to network with have in common? I started watching Dodgers baseball in college because my alumni mentor who was assigned to me through my university loved the Dodgers. I knew I wanted to have something to text him about out of the blue that he would enjoy that wasn’t asking for a job. If you bring up conversation topics about THEIR hobbies, or THEIR kids, it’s usually a slam dunk. The great thing about people in power having their own offices is that usually they will have photos or trinkets on the wall or on their desk of things they like. It’s pretty easy to tell someone’s family/hobbies/favorite sports teams by just looking at their desk usually.
I regularly got face time with a very high up senior executive at a previous job. My secret? He was a Chargers fan in an office full of fans of other teams. I’d watch 5 minutes of Chargers highlights on Sunday and he knew he could count on me to come to my desk and be able to talk the Chargers with him first thing every Monday morning. I was a temp and we weren’t even on the same team. But one of my biggest regrets is not nurturing that relationship more - it has to be two parts, you have to get them interested in talking to you and also follow up and eventually say hey can you help me with my career. Knowing how to do that would be a very interesting video.
Being liked is only one factor. But what matters is staying true and loving yourself because it will always work out in the end.
Unfortunately, these are some very harsh truths that none likes to acknowledge. Hard work and technical skills are not enough for a successful carrier. On the other hand, companies tend to loose employees that are dedicated and focused on their job, and wonder why they have high turnover of skilled workers that are very difficult and expensive to replace.
It's too bad that so few companies recognize the opportunity to wipe the floor with the competition if they just made a concerted effort to promote based on competence instead of likability.
This has to be the best video I have seen you produce, Brian. You could not be more spot on. I am glad you made this and presented it so flawless.
Glad you enjoyed it!
What seems odd is that the business runs on the performers, you would think it would be counter intuitive to not have those people in higher positions
That's why working remotely hurts your career, because no one sees you.
This is 100% true. There's certainly a tradeoff.
@@ALifeAfterLayoff- I will disagree. It is only 100% true if the company doesn't have a culture / leadership that embraces remote work.
I have always known this but I never cared as I work smart enough to make myself key to the team. I never gotten a promotion but when the markets good, I'll usually just promote myself and get a new job. But the next couple years look grim so I'm going to have to stay pact for now