Want To Improve? Give Up On Self Improvement...
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- Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
- Most people overlook this, but they really shouldn't... This SLOWS DOWN your transformation!
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Julien Blanc (AKA JulienHimself) is a Swiss-born, U.S.-based self-help speaker, entrepreneur and transformational coach.
Since 2010, he has been traveling around the world and has personally coached tens of thousands of clients face to face... Empowering them to create massive success in their lives!
His record-breaking programs Transformation Mastery, Transformation Mastery Live, Transformation Mastery Live Advanced, Transformation Mastery Academy & Transformation Mastery Mentoring help people around the world achieve the HEALTH, WEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS & HAPPINESS they deserve!
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Want To Improve? Give Up On Self Improvement...
How to raise your self esteem and build self confidence! In this video, Julien Blanc (AKA Julien Himself) reveals the harsh truth about self help and personal development... This video highlights the biggest self improvement traps!
#julienblanc #julienhimself #selfimprovement
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Be careful with self improvement space. I broke up with my gf three years ago and was in a bad spot. I decided to work on myself and take a deep dive into finding out who I am and what I can fix this. This turned into an obsession of watching videos, buying courses, and reading bookings trying to “fix” myself. Although I learned a ton and did a lot of introspection, it turned into a very unhealthy anxious condition where I constantly thought something was wrong with me and constantly trying to “fix” it. This led to physical problems as manifestation of this thinking. Self improvement can be good for a little but at some point you have to start living your life. I have been stuck in this hole for a few years now and I am finally realizing I need to just chill. Remember everyone has things they can work on but nobody is perfect and that’s not the goal. Don’t feel bad for having something “wrong” with you. There is nothing wrong with you. Be kind to yourself!
this is so important, I deeply understand what you're saying.
Amen brother. You can definitely overwhelm yourself quickly when wanting to change.
Same same. You have my solidarity and I feel seen. Thank you for sharing and naming this.
I had the same experience
Word
Biggest takeaway: just do it. Do it for you for your own happiness and wellbeing not for anyone else because your success or failure doesn't have any impact on other people's lives
You're not the centre of the universe
I’m learning this the hard way. I get so stuck in making a big life decision because I’m thinking of how it will affect everyone around me but in reality nobody will even bat an eye
"You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink"
Yep...
"You can make horse learn how to drink water but not to find the water."
Slurp sshhhllurp
"no spider is coming to bite you, you have to bight yourself"
These line will stay with me for the rest of my life
So true... The endless loop of "yeah, I know I need to do this and that more" and then sit back and wait for the "aha!" moment, to get motivated. The longer you wait, the harder it is to make changes, too many years of sitting. Thank you for this and I love the shawl btw. [It's a sad feeling to post something great and get no recognition for it, but I get it...post for you, not them! ]
To change my attention span & to slow down, I got really pissed off at myself. I would catch myself rushing or not being able to watch a long video or learn something. So I would say, NO, stop right now, put everything else away & do this 1 thing. I would force myself to watch long videos. Because I don't want to be "the others". You just really get to a point where enough is enough.
ye i didnt grow up as an "ipad kid" but this year i knew i might get to that point of low attention span so i stopped watching shorts (i use an extension so shorts doesnt show up) and i forced myself to watch long videos and now i watched a 2 hour long video without breaks from julien. im glad MrBeast is making longer videos now since he is a major influence today
Same! I would wait for big things and think that that's only when I'm living! Life exists in the big and especially small!
This dude is of legend and lore.
Very rarely do I see people making sense... But this person speaks with such amazing examples... Truly❤
About not being able to focus... I always zone out during conversations
Yep, not good...
@@JulienHimself Yeah me too, and it's frustrating because I keep getting distracted by one thing they said and then go on a thinking tangent.
ADHD
Sadly, you perfectly described what happened to me after I suddenly developed severe Type 1 Narcolepsy and lost everything I'd worked so very hard for. You'd think I'd simply decided to be a lazy bum based on my family's (eventual) treatment of me. Damn good thing I'll never throw in the towel on myself 😊
Been watching for a long time but have been scared to start. Have a bunch of your videos saved on my phone when I need a reminder but really needed this one. Sums up your content! 2024 has been about change but I really needed the answer. Thank you Julian, appericate your honesty!
THANK you JULIEN. What you do is unique. God keep you man
6:19 is how I've been the last two years after my separation. I know it's happening and I hate it. Glad I found your videos, I am working on myself.
I actually got fed up of self improvement, altought it was what made me become more social years ago. Witouth it i tought it was impossible to meet girls witouth friend in common xD
Now, that i feel independ3nt, confident. Able to deal with all emotions, i dont see self help anymore. But i still follow you Julien, caus3 of tge help you gave me
It’s crazy every single thing you say in your videos is true and I can see play out in different people but some reason my brain still won’t absorb the information and apply it.
This is exactly what I needed
It connected with me deeply. Now my ex, is a gifted writer and I was constantly pushing her to publish her book. What I needed to do was work on myself, become a Filmmaker myself. Instead, all I ever did was just push her, make her believe in herself despite I hardly had belief in myself. Surprise, surprise, we broke up and 4 months later, here I am, still figuring out how to clean my fucking room.
Thanks for this reminder Julian. Fuck man, I needed it soooo bad. 🙏✨️🙈
Edit: Fucking Hell...... My room is almost clean. Mother fucker.......Fucking fuck 🙈🙈🙈
When he talked about short attention span i do have that and he was saying to try watch a w0 minute video without doing anything else and i was literally eating food and playing game while listening to him
Its actually crazy i need to really learn to stop doing multiple things at once but i also realized its to stop me from thinking cause my brain is too busy to even think
Everything you just said i agreed to it and i realise it all starts by taking action.
15:30 This explains why visual art is (seemingly) more popular than novels. Looking at a picture takes less time and effort than reading something. A picture says more than 1000 words? Yeah, but 1000 words are not a story. They're not even a chapter
I am so grateful for this video. I always gain from watching it and seeing what I may want to hone in on. I've watched it all of three times over the last, i dunno, year maybe. It's been a bunch of great tools and things to think about along the journey of sane living. Thank you Julien
i was almost going to type "this video spoke to me". I'm glad i watched the whole thing :)
Thanks for these high quality videos.
Very empowering: to the point, very insightfull, no bullshit and action-oriented. Get busy living (now) or get busy dying. --> this quote of shawshank redemption isn't going to change your life, you have to do the work ;)
Every video of yours healing myself ❤️ i am healing slowly but i am on my way !
Yeeah i should now not later , and in the end it all up to me , in the end i am the person who live my life ❤️
Your words are a healing and warm words 🤍✨ god bless you 🌼
Notification squad Have a Great weekend!🔥🔥🔥
🔥🔥🔥
Only half through. And entirely spot on regarding you only show up for you. I have that fam member that I tried to help in my way and now keep afar due to pain of seeing they desire to not really help themselves.
Really valuable insights
My biggest problem is that I to the core of my being hate myself. I don't know how to go about not hating myself
Do some volunteer work. Start small but be consistent with it. That will help. Then build on that with small positive acts
Read the book Letting Go by David Hawkins. You need to totally accept the negative feeling you have, let it run through you instead of trying to resist it. After you felt the emotion for a while without judging it ask yoursef: Could I let this feeling go? Give a short yes or no(Answer doesnt really matter). Then ask: Would I let this feeling go? If so, when? As you continually do this with upcoming feelings, you will feel lighter and lighter and have cleared more and more negative stuck emotions. It takes a while, but once you get good at it, your life will never be the same. You can also listen to Michael Singer talking about letting go here on RUclips.
@@anonymerdude4501 I just finished that book but I struggle to understand the whole actual letting go part. Like what does it mean to let go? If that makes sense
Thank you so much; you are accountable for your own life ❤❤❤
I agree, but watching videos and not doing anything will be much better, than not watching and not doing. At least watching alone can bring you some insight on what to do. And by watching you are going towards recovery, but I agree, it's very slow if you don't actually do anything.
"Nobody is coming to save you"
Hes dress like the Real life Tyler Durden 😎 this dude is the Real Deal Folks
it's funny that you go to spider man for your analogy because it's actually more apt than you gave it credit for. Getting bitten by the spider gave him powers, yes. But that didn't make him spider man. It was the rock bottom pain of losing his uncle at the hands of someone he could have but chose not to stop that made him spider man.
Julien, You are my Fortune Teller..
Merci de faire ce que tu fais Julien. I began to meditate and focusing more on myself. I try to ask myself the good questions and let go. But its not easy to know from where to begin
Thanks julien for everything. These videos are very inspiring and I often come back to them in difficult times. I had a difficult moment in class today where I had to read out only a couple paragraphs of text aloud in front of a small class of 20 ish people. And it absolutely broke me, I tried to fight the anxiety and ended up fumbling over my words and swallowing to take a breath after every 2 words. It was pretty bad, people in my class would usually laugh at stuff like that but it just went dead silent and it was fucking mortifying. After that moment, counterintuitively, I felt freer than I have in months despite experiencing the most mortifying 20 seconds of my recent life. Pressure truly makes diamonds and now I just want to keep trying it again to improve.
I really love your methods.😊
Fit goes hard ngl
Thanks
"Add debth!!!"
Okay but what do I do know? You say to do the work but what do you mean by that? What work do I have to do? Can you just give me a protocol I can follow? Is it journaling or what is it what do I have to do?
Depends what your issues are and what you'd like to improve (if it's even possible). You'll work on those areas in ways that work for you. You need to figure these out for yourself.
Hey Julien. Have you gone through an ego death process? The past 4 years have been an intense awakening partnered with a dark night of the soul. My consciousness has been born again. I feel I’m on the right track but have never heard you speak on this topic.
I'm sure he did, he doesn't talk about it in this way but for example he talk about seeing the world through the paradigm of "having", "doing", "being", when you're in the being paradigm and fully present to the moment, you're not in your ego. Also it's completely okay to be in your ego, being frustrated about being in your ego would be a en ego thing, which would be fine also
@@HoekWax yes I agree with that. I am no longer in the dark night of the soul stage. That lasted 2 years for me. Initial awakening was about 1.5 yrs and I’m 6 months in the 3rd stage of the void. Have you had a spiritual awakening experience similar to mine? The void stage is quite difficult.
@@User98681 Yes I went through this, I was depressed with suicidal thoughts before because I thought nothing mattered but I took myself seriously, nothing mattered but it was happening to “me”. Now that I’m able to live beyond my ego (even though I still identify as my ego sometimes and that okay), I still come to the conclusion that nothing happens but in a good way. In the way of the spirit of creation and of loving the process. Nothing matters but it’s not happening to “me” anymore (because there is no “me”), now nothing matters so that fun, play, joy, love, happiness can arise just because. Not for a reason. Just because it’s beautiful. It’s easy to reject that when you see the atrocities of the world but those are in truth not necessary, it’s junk of the mind that then becomes a reality in the material world. This comes to life when people identify with their egos. We can forgive them when we realize that we did the exact same and will sometime keep doing it without realizing it, even after ego death, which is not really death, more of a slow dissolution of it. Thinking that you ego is dead could validate your ego, maybe give you pride. In truth there is no “you”, there is just life happening through you, through me, through cats and plants, … The world doesn’t have to look any other way than how it is, don’t try to impose your wishes on it and instead enjoy, enjoy the void, or don’t, you don’t have to do anything. Anyways I guess it can be some food for thoughts, it’s great that you are going through this and remember to never take yourself seriously because in truth, even when you forget it, there is no “yourself”, there is just life.
@@User98681 Yes I went through this, I was depressed with suicidal thoughts before because I thought nothing mattered but I took myself seriously, nothing mattered but it was happening to “me”. Now that I’m able to live beyond my ego (even though I still identify as my ego sometimes and that okay), I still come to the conclusion that nothing happens but in a good way. In the way of the spirit of creation and of loving the process. Nothing matters but it’s not happening to “me” anymore (because there is no “me”), now nothing matters so that fun, play, joy, love, happiness can arise just because. Not for a reason. Just because it’s beautiful. It’s easy to reject that when you see the atrocities of the world but those are in truth not necessary, it’s junk of the mind that then becomes a reality in the material world. This comes to life when people identify with their egos. We can forgive them when we realize that we did the exact same and will sometime keep doing it without realizing it, even after ego death, which is not really death, more of a slow dissolution of it. Thinking that you ego is dead could validate your ego, maybe give you pride. In truth there is no “you”, there is just life happening through you, through me, through cats and plants, … The world doesn’t have to look any other way than how it is, don’t try to impose your wishes on it and instead enjoy, enjoy the void, or don’t, you don’t have to do anything. Anyways I guess it can be some food for thoughts, it’s great that you are going through this and remember to never take yourself seriously because in truth, even when you forget it, there is no “yourself”, there is just life.
@@User98681 You should read or listen to the book "Letting go" by David R Hawkins, same for "The power of now"
Are the mistakes we make are meant to happen.? do we have free will on making a decision if we dont know any better or 'divine intervention' doesnt happen to avoid it.? not asking from victim mentality, just puzzling cause everytime i go back to the time of the mistake I realise I coudnt do any better cause i didnt know.. anyone has a clue..?
Hey Julien. Ever read ”The presence process”? Thoughts?
Yes! Amazing book... It's actually in the "recommended reading list" that's in my online coaching. 👌
Crazy things started to happen since i picked it up. Triggered in the most personal way.
You can try teaching people everything about self improvement, but if this person hadn't had his Fuck-This-Event (FTE), he won't be willing to change. What was your FTE?
julien what is your take on free will i personally dont believe in it im curious what you have to say about it sense you state it has fact that we do have free will
I have created my own way around the fact that I know I don't have free will to help me understand how to still orient myself properly well also creating a better moral standard and I think it's super important to realize there is no freewill
i love the statement they use self help just to know because i thiught i was trying to get somewhere when in reality im just trying to learn but never had the intention to do something and then need to learn
summary
am I doing this thing just to know or am I trying to get a particular thing
that's what I haven't asked myself
What books you recommend read to me?
This is How You Heal by Brianna Wiest & Level Up by Rob Dial. Hope these help. Have a nice day!
Why not watch on double speed? I still take it all in, and can pause rewind if I need to 🤷
What's the hurry my friend?
@@sergioquinche7700 There's not always a hurry, but today there was. Time is the most valuable commodity we have. By taking in all the information at half the speed gives me more time to do (and experience) other things 😊
Hi. Me and my ex broke up 4 months ago..no drama involved (12 years together, i still have huge feelings for her. jealous etc..) and she is dating some1 new.. We should have our 2nd meet up with a drink next week to catch up how life is going. Do u think its ok to text him that "Sorry. I would like to see you but I can't at the moment. I've made my thoughts in a better direction and right now i would only woke useless dreams and hopes in my head.
I need a little more time.."
OR
should i go for the drink, be confident etc and after that start the no contact.
I think being honest about ur feelings is the most important thing. Ask yourself what you really want and do it. Even if it doesn't turn out as good as u hoped atleast you would have done your best to get what you want ..
Hey julien. Does consciously talking to myself will improve me?
Yes, if it's in a healthy way : you are good enough, it's alright to feel what you are feeling... support yourself thé same way you would support à kid
Also to me, breahting deeply ( lower belly/lower back ), helps me relaxing.
Nothing is really a big deal, the big deal is creating in our mind. ( except for murderers, rapist.... 😂)
Take your time breathing, talking, moving, or just try it
It is so relaxing
Use your body as à kid would : dance, weird moves, weird faces, weird positions.
You can be weird with yourself, to remember how it feels to be totally free 👍
what you took my man ?
Alright litteraly getting a epiheny high. Bye
Dressed like a fool as always
+
❤✅
🔥👊
There are some people who are born introverts or with anxiety disorder, also not every introverts is shy, there are non shy introverts too, this is in reply to one of your usual statements about "no one being born and is all stifled straight away", not everyone is overactive, loud, extroverted like you want them to be, accept that some people are introverts and will always be, they are okay with being born that way, i prefer a quiet, silent place than a loud one, also I'd like it if you reply back
Yeah. I was thinking on him saying this but then I interpreted what he meant is that no one is born feeling ashamed of how they are. A baby will cry unashamed, laugh, be angry.
You’re authentic as a baby.
Some videos it seems he acknowledges that some people are just quiet and that isn’t equal to not being confident. The belief that it is unconfident to be quiet is what keeps us down.
So I think he means whether you’re quiet or loud, anxious or sure of yourself, you can be happy, confident and authentic.
@@makaniistorm8664 I saw somewhere in one of his video's caption/watermark, of him pinning the word "introvert" towards one of those people up in the stage with him, it's like he's trying to wash the introversion out of people, and also some people's anxiety are inherent, so they can't do much about it except to take meds that treat anxiety disorders and get support, their brain are wired that way.
@@Rslair Then I guess not to take his words as gospel. He even advocates that don’t listen to him if it doesn’t help.
Dude, bro, my guy... You are wise beyond your years. Loved this content!
One of the most important lessons I learned both from your videos and my own experience is that nobody changes before saying hard "ENOUGH". I've seen it in myself, I've seen it in others. No matter the resource, no matter the assurance that it's helpful - you won't deal with something that isn't *enough of a problem* to you.
I mean, I finish this whole video with regular speed, so... it's a win for me? But I don't know of that's because English is my 2nd language? But I found out that this before that I can actually turn on to 1.25× or 1.5× speed or something? But I found out that I would rather to stay in regular speed, I don't know why. I would just feel a little bit impatient for a few seconds, but after a few seconds, I'll start to tune in? But if a video is over 20 to 25 minutes, I don't really wanna watch it. It's TOO LONG for me, but if a video is... under 10 minutes or something, I would also just feel like it's not in depth enough? Like where's the depth in this video if it's under 10 minutes/THAT SHORT or something, you know?
So... yeah. I guess that it's good that I actually want a 10-20 minutes videos in subjects that I wanna watch, which is more in depth, like skincare videos, etc. Dance tutorials can be a little bit longer? I guess that my mind was busying to tell me to damce with it or whatever, so that I don't have that much time to think about it? I had ever danced with a video that is 27 minutes or something. (There's a RUclipsr called MirhanTV, the person who created that channel is THE BEST looking dance teacher who teaches male dance moves that I've seen online. And his dance moves are SOOOOO FUCKING COOL, and he explains things pretty cleary, especially his older videos btw.) In fact that this video is only last for 17 minutes makes me wanna watch it. It's like a sweet spot for me, it's like the video is trying to tell me that: Click it! This video is only last for 17 minutes! The length of the video is still start with "1", and it's 3 minutes under 20 minutes!!! There are still a little bit distance to 20 minute!!! You can watch it!! (After a few seconds or slight resistance/hesitation? And I feel like I'll just spend SOOOOO MUCH ENERGY trying to learn from this type of video just makes me have a little bit more resistance?Or the demon inside me just don't want me to grow, so I imagine that I have to spend A TONES of energy watching this kinda videos in order to learn from it? And maybe the click-bait of this video helpful? It's just SOOOOO DIFFERENT from what I've heard before. I wonder wht Julien has to say about this. But actually Julien didn't talk too much about what he typed in the title, so... yeah, that's a clickbait, am I right?) So... yeah.
But I think that A LOT of the videos that are ACTUALLY benefits for you are actually WAAAAAY LONGER THAN 20 minutes? And it just makes me DON'T wanna open it A LOT of times, and I'll be like: Why can't separate the videos into 2 or 3 parts or something, (when I see those videos that last for 46 minutes, 1 hour 20 minutes, or even at times that are close to 3 hours or something.) so that it'll give me more motivation to watch it!? This is how TV show works, right? So... yeah.
And I actually also do think about sometimes about if you or anyone that I wanna/would like to interact with, if the things that they talk about is the response of what I commented on their videos or whatever? And I think that it's because of my loneliness, I REALLY WANT someone who can be beneficial for me to hang out around or something, someone who can also vibe with me or something. So I started to create those things around the RUclipsrs' videos that I commented on the comment section. And finding proof to prove what I wanna feel like that someone gives a shit about what I have to say. So yeah, anyways, just wanna share with you about that. (But I actually don't know if Julien actually read the comments? But yeah, anyways.)
Umm… WOW I am in shock at the massive improvement I experienced. If I didn’t experience it myself I wouldn’t believe it. I literally started as a 2 in self esteem and just 5 weeks of binge watching ur videos I’m at 9-9.5. U r the real deal thank u. u r helping more people than u realize. I am in complete and total awe.
I’m 41 and this video really hit me hard cause it’s me right now and I’m at rock bottom and just like my brother told me no one is gonna push you but yourself so I know what I have to do to fix myself.
Not only was i called out multiple times but this hit home. I feel like the world will end if i take action and make the changes. At 37 I'm not getting any younger either