Being called a far right conspiracy theorist is a badge of honour. Unfortunately these "academics" are walking, talking examples of a GIGO model, spoon fed propaganda by government & big business. You have to laugh 😂
@@microfarming8583If you don't follow the herd who went along with the news for the last 5 years, you will feel isolated. I rather have clarity of mind and no friends than talk to people around who took the blue pill.
Normal for me. 56 now and basically no friends at all, although a cancer diagnosis 10 years ago thinned them out fairly quickly, quite common apparently ☹️
@ it was pretty hard to find out these people weren’t there for me when things got tough. I think some don’t know what to say, some don’t want that sadness in their lives etc. 🤷🏼♂️ I probably drove some away too as I went to a pretty dark place for quite a long time, I was constantly talking about death and very depressed 😔
I'm nearly 87 now and have outlived all my friends and workmates so now have no contact with my past and no one to discuss those time together which is such a shame. I phone one or two people who are invariably out and about and if I'm lucky and catch them when they are in they will often ask me was there anything in particular I was phoning them about which makes me feel somewhat awkward and embarrassed as to why I bothered them in the first place.
Ignore the trolls and politically challenged , you are a switched on bloke , professional plumber and a pilot , you are articulate and intelligent, the people calling you far right need a reality check
Yes I'm in the same situation .most of my friends are professionals like me but are alcoholics or on coke and they all seem to be taken in by woke thinking and Marxism . Myself I don't really like any politicians yet my friends call me far right for not being a Marxist . They have collectively lost there minds . I suspect the COVID jab plus booze and drugs have ruined their critical thinking skills .
Please watch "Europa the last battle" 12h documentary and "the protocols of the learned elders of zion" in order to understand what is really going on. Cheers.
Iam 42 and can say I’ve also lost friends over the years. It did bother me at first but I learnt people do not like seeing you do better than them or people use you to better themselves. So at my point in life as long as my close family are ok I’m happy.
42 about to turn 43 this month.. my “friends circle” has shrank in the last 10-15 years.. still have some close friends and one I’ve known since I was 3 at playschool.. quality over quantity is the key..
The comment section can be the closest place to meet up with like minded people who are forging ahead knowing that personal fortitude is the mainstay of thriving in the future. Independent of mass delusion, the importance of knowing the difference between what you need and what you want. Prioritizing what really matters by not wasting our time on silly pursuits as we did in the past. You realize you aren't "alone" at all, you find a different sort of friend in the comments. You find people who won't bow to their circumstances but take a hard look at what is and don't deny it, but choose wise, informed living apart from those who look elseware. This is our common ground.
This is so enlightening watching this video. 43 here. Centre right. I've had a few friends abandon me and make me feel like utter shit for daring to have perfectly logical opinions about controversial issues in this country. Some are from an academic background and work in the public sector. I do think some are weak and scared, and so follow the easy route and populist crowd. They are scared to have any controversial opinions because of the potential consequences within the other circles they participate in. It isn't fair, and it isn't nice, but always be yourself. I'm glad I'm not alone from watching this.
@@garyrobinson8665 I commend you for you self control for not discussing politics and getting a few digs in, with the way things are going. I'm so sick of the left and the way the country is going, I have stopped even worrying about who I wind up or upset. If they are real friends, they shouldn't worry about your views but then again, we are talking about the left.
The breakdown of my marriage affected my relationship with friends; and going to court for "an equal shared care parenting agreement" cost me my relationship with my children. I feel so sorry for them. Making friends as an adult is a lonely experience, everyone is busy, stressed or have responsibilities that make forming new friends difficult.
Social media has extinguished the art of socialising. I believe that most people today are exhausted and full of drama. Nobody makes much of an effort to socialise anymore. When people do go out, they are constantly on their phones; it is also unfortunate to see this while walking down the street. People should be laughing and joking together, not burying their heads in their phones. I believe that people have become exhausted by unreal interactions and are unable to interact with others in person because it involves more work to please people in person. People are becoming lost in a world that is more connected together with technology, which is draining your real life that should be more connected. It is no longer a simple life. I believe people have too much stimulation going on in their brains from the phones, and having to overwork to pay bills and taxes its all stress whilst balancing a family life. The world and the govement is all against freedom and its all just depression on everyone. The best thing in the world was going out with my friends. Now it is just not the same. Everything that was good is slowly being taken away by technology and governments.... So, the answer to your question is: what constitutes normal anymore? It definitely does not reflect the times we live in. We just need to try to make the most of it, be positive, show up when needed, help one another, and be present rather than being lost in your damn phone, as I am typing this comment. Lol
For New Years I was actually out for a change (Sri Lanka, Hikkaduwa) first time I have been to a club in 15 years or more. What did I notice? Most of the party goers were all on their phones communicating with folks not presently in the club, weird!? NB I do not own a phone, that is why I found it strange.
A couple of years ago I was at a big park near Ottawa, and I saw a large group of people (who may, or may not, have been together, since there were four benches in the area) and every single damn one of them was looking at their phone, including a woman with kids holding onto her hand and leg. It looked so weird that I wondered if they were all playing some app game together (hunting Pokemon?). I almost stopped and took a picture, but that felt rude. But would they even have noticed?
Social media and smartphones have ruined so many things - friends being one, as you don’t need to catch up with an old friend and talk about what you’ve been up to, as you’ve seen it all on social media already.
I was saying this with my wife the other night. She's deleted social media and is liking it so far (I wish I could but I use it for work). But yeah, what is there to talk about if I already know everything you've been up to?! 😂
"Losing friends" I think what it is James is that nobody really cares and often people don't want you doing better than them. Its kinda like the primary school playground but bit bigger. and the quality of people has gone down the toilet.
"Its kinda like the primary school playground but bit bigger." I've always thought that about British politicians and theyre cringy 'debates' in the commons! 😂
I turned 41 on Christmas Eve. There were friends that didn’t care to wish me happy birthday, or remembered 2 days later. I haven’t replied to any of them. A couple have sent me messages to fill me in on their latest crisis that they want me to solve for them. I haven’t replied. I’ve been very quiet on my socials. The reality of these friends, are not actually my friends. I feel like I want to address the forgetting my birthday, but I don’t think any of them are emotionally mature enough to understand why that would have hurt me. I also don’t want to come across like a spoiled brat. I spent my birthday on my own, I trained at the gym and had a little slice of cake to myself. 🥺I’m done but to your point, I have no friends, I also don’t have family either. Loneliness is getting harder and harder. but I’d rather be lonely than have people in my life that use me. But if anyone else has a perspective to share with me I’m interested in hearing.
Happy belated birthday, I’m in a similar situation, I found that I’d always wish others happy birthday but rarely done for me and worst of all, organising social stuff, it got to the point where it felt like it was a one way street with me organising everything, especially for family and friends who live a distance away, last year I didn’t travel for once because I wanted to see if anyone of them organised anything
@@timberry4250I think that's just the way with some people, we were supposed to meet up before Xmas all the cousins we are on a WhatsApp group and it all went quiet about it. Everyone was all for it in October and come November and December nothing said never happened....they only seem to meet up at funerals.
56 here, I've definitely shifted to spending more time alone, less with friends, but don't think it's a negative! I enjoy my own company more now, whereas I didn't like being alone when I was younger-I had a raging case of FOMO. I find that the energy it takes to maintain relationships has dwindled. The core ones that are truly important I still work on, but superficial ones, or ones that tire me out I have backed away from. One thing for sure that's shifted my socializing is quitting drinking spring of '24. I feel so much better, tolerate stress better, and my mind is quieter. So far, I don't see these changes as a warning sign, more that I'm focusing on myself and things that truly make me happy. Who knows, maybe in 20yrs I'll be wandering around the house like an old ghost 👻 but for today, this feels right and nice.
My friend came over from the USA to visit over Christmas, she’s usually a lefty but was quite concerned about the censorship here in the UK. I told her that people like me are referred to as thugs, she laughed.
Are we really on the left and not more on the right? Like what evidence do you have of any socialism in the UK as everything is Private contract even the NHS is being privatized? I am not talking about the woke left and more the traditional left
@ my understanding of being on the right is to have as little government interference in my life as possible; by all means use my taxes to resurface the roads but don’t tell me what to drive!
@@AJ-hi9fd Example of being on the right is that your taxes pass to a private outsourced contractor to fix the pot holes. Yea get the on the extreme right you would no regulations so could drive anything. Not sure that would be great for us all
Moving to Spain isn't the answer. Running away isn't the answer I'm 73. The older I get the more cynical I get. I've tried all my life to be helpful and kind to my friends. They take my money and time then smack me back im the mush.
Going somewhere NICE is a good answer. Going somewhere you want to be, is a good answer ;) We don't get any do overs in this life. Sitting still and taking a beating gets boring after a while.
I was made redundant at age 51. Spent 8 years looking after unwell relatives. Both now deceased. Used to have lots of friends who would always be in touch. As I was unable to leave a relative on her own I was unable to go out. Gradually, communication with friends dwindled as they moved on. Family used to be in touch when they wanted an update on unwell family member. Now, very little contact unless they want something. Currently debating whether to move home. As brother said, doesn't matter where you live as nobody is going to visit. An interesting experiment... I am always the one that sends a Xmas card first and some I email and some message. Try holding back instead to see who contacts you first. Who is actually thinking of you first and who only contacts you because you contacted them. Great way to whittle down your Xmas card and messages list.
I've been in this country since birth, 55 years of making friends. They've all gone, they do nothing and literally can't be arsed getting in touch. If i suggest we do something they all come up with some pathetic excuse. I announced this week that I'll be leaving the UK in a month and they may never see me again. Not one single person out of my friends or family suggested we meet up before i go. Only about 6 responded to the post. They basically said "Good look" or "take care"
James, you are not a "far right" or any other kind of extremist ! You have said it perfectly, we are almost all centre left to centre right but the left have gone so we are "extreme" to the extremists. Leaving the UK is perfectly and horrifically normal thought spreading through the majority of the UK population right now.
The modern left have completely lost the plot and are helping to destroy this country through ignorance and lack of common sense, just look what they voted in. If a happy go lucky motivated guy like this is questioning whether its worth staying in his own country then something has gone drastically wrong with this economy and society and I think we can all see this. I would be off to Spain.
We need to make a "far right friends group" for those of us that are apparently so far right we are no longer welcome for pointing out what is wrong in our country. You're not alone
Is this not the issue in that people where be left or right are hyper focusing on issues with the Internet connecting people with similar views. Sometimes is surely good to be challenged on your views?
@James-dv1df you think unchecked immigration from countries that despise our way of life, and mass gang rape of children by foreign men lies in the category of "views to be challenged"?
I've had very few close friends in life and after moving to Cornwall 13 years ago to give our children a better way of life I'm pretty much left with none. Most of the time it doesn't bother me but every now and then I think about the closeness I've had with friends of the past. I'm lucky as I have a wonderful wife and we support each other but that isn't the same as being able to sound off to a close friend. I think people change as they get older and that can make you cast certain friends aside as we all take a different path. It's a difficult one.
This comment is crazy, I did the exact same thing 2 yrs ago and literally have no real friends anymore either, my so called best mate who was my best man at my wedding and ive known for 35 yrs didn't even bother to come and visit, I ended up cutting all ties ... my only other real mate moved at the same time to the lake district so were like oppersite ends of the country, he phones me a few times a week but due to the distance its hard to see each other. luckily ive got a big family and have amazing relationships with my kids. It's quite isolating living in Cornwall like this as my previous life involved around pubs and exploring all the trimmings of London.... It's only been 2 yrs and been having so many doubts about staying here.
I've had the same thing with my best man. Never answers the phone anymore. Totally into his own life and problems. No time for a beer unless it's on his terms.
@@TimesWithJamesI've had that, a close friend that I used to help out any way that I could used to take the piss by always being happy to my time, knowledge and skills, but never wanted to be there when I wouldn't have minded a hand (I bet you know this well as a plumber).
@@TimesWithJames Sounds like the last few friends I had in the UK. When you contact them they act like you are asking for an immediate appointment with a doctor when he is about to call it a day? All vaxzinated too.
I stopped drinking as I found that drinking friends are not really friends and it was a waste of money. I go to the gym most days so drinking was just spinning wheels.
Hi James Really aligned on this and your past video topics. I’m also considering leaving the U.K after redundancy from work. At 47 I just won’t want life passing me by trying to maintain my head above water here. The costs to survive are out of control and I just don’t want to chase it for the sake of health. So I’m actively looking to leave over the next 6 months. As for friends - I think the challenge here is also political and lifestyle. Over the last 4 years we have changed a lot. No one remembers what we did the last few years, it’s all been politically charged with social medial playing a big roll…. Everything good was before 2020. It’s hard maintaining friendships especially when so much of it is online, that’s not real friendship in my eyes. Focus on your family, you and those closest around you. The rest is just noise.
Im 47 pal, in the last 10 years I have had 2 hip replacements and 3 back operations as well as suffering with depression and soon found out that I only have acquaintances not friends. I have also been single for 15 years. It's not just you mate, as we get older we dont want all the drama & BS. We just want a quiet life, tbh I just can't wait to die coz there is fuckall in my life. Just do what makes you happy 👍
I’m 47 and my friendship circle went from about 15 when I was in my 30’s to 4 now. Variety of reasons but some are due to people changing, priorities change etc.
I'm 36. I have come to realise the nature of the people makes the notion of friends a partnership of convenience. The maintaince of the relationships we create are based on the prospect of how much advantage may be extracted from the relationship. The same is sadly true of significant others. If you know any former miliary; ask them if they keep in touch with the guys they served with; most of them dont; and those bonds were forged over life and death.
@@MrAlio101Not really. I have a lot of family and friends that were in the military and very few of them keep intouch with those they served with. Most of their friends are from high school or varsity. Not from the military.
Yep perfectly normal. At about 38 I got an illness and all those so called friends couldn’t even text me to see why I wasn’t out and about anymore. So I stopped all contact and that was that. 20 years later and good riddance to what was plastic friendships.
Its just a natural phenomenon that happens. Location, career changes, family and illness dwindles most of them away. People you only drink with are not real friends, people you only play sport or go to a game with are not real friends. This is all normal Jimmy, inner peace is all you need.
In my experience, once people get married and have kids, you don't hear from them as much. I am an 'all or nothing' kind of person so I actually find it quite insulting when these people decide to 'touch base' with me...because they are probably just doing so because they're bored for 5 minutes. I don't have time for people that don't have time for me - that includes family too. It's that simple.
@@beaulieuc8910 Completely agree. And having kids with them mean no drinking, which is basically the main attraction for me. Oh, and they're always late 'because of the kids'...they claim. And then they need to leave early because the kids are getting restless. Complete waste of time, basically.
Friends come and go, just a fact of life. Moving away is the opportunity to make new friends depending how easy you find it. I retired year before last at 58. Some people I'd worked with for 30 years or so I considered good friends but now they have just gone. Kept in touch for the first few months but now it's like I never knew those people, it's very surreal but just one of those things. Quite sad really. I think people these days make less of an effort to keep in touch, sign of the times. How often do you talk to your next door neighbour.
That's the thing with the people you work with, are they really good friends, or are you just friendly because you spend so much time together, after all, you probably spent more time with them than your wife and family. I've worked with many people over the years and while I've had a good laugh and banter with most of them, you can count on one hand the people I'd actually see out of work time.
Cant really help with this one, had a best friend once, he stole my girl, never had one since. A friend will, f%&k your wife, borrow, use your car, drink your beer, a stranger doesn't do that, I find it a kind of weakness you need friends, I stand on my own two feet, always have done, that doesn't mean I'm unsocial able because I not, I just prefer to be a sniper, than part of the team, that way my neck is my responsibility, not reliant on friends, all the best.
I am a few years older, but you are right. I made LOTS of effort to make friends etc but have found over the last few years, most have disappeared and stopped responding, so I stopped trying. On the plus side, what I found it has done is that I value the friendships I do have and I am far more selective as to who I will spend my time with.
James, in my opinion you come across as a great guy, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You’ve inspired the next generation of plumbers and helped loads of people grow in confidence, tackling plumbing jobs around the house. One of your videos, has personally saved me hundreds of pounds. These people criticising you, how many things have they done to help people. For years, you’ve been passing on your hard earned knowledge for free. When you’ve built a career up from nothing, early starts, giving up your weekends, payed thousands in tax and NI etc.. It’s perfectly natural to sway away from left leaning politics. Favouring the ‘hard work brings greater rewards’ ethos, it has much more in common with centre/right leaning politics.
Just found out my youtube plumber has a whole other channel and he has existential angst! I'm glad your son came through I was worried watching that one.
You a legend mate, love watching you, you cracking me up all the time, Great plumber and good humour. Stay with us here, we gona win this battle. Fux the trolls and those jealous and envious people.
My only 2 friends have completely different views of life and politics and yet we remain friends for 25 years and counting (41 now). We have to accept other views, other opinions and live with that.
You don't lose friends, you lose acquaintances. Who sticks with you after 60 are your true friends, even if it's only one or two. It doesn't matter to them what your beliefs or views are, or to you, theirs.
Yes, it’s totally normal to find it hard to make new friends or maintain friendships as you get older. It’s mostly down to having less free time with work and family, or distance as people move. It’s so much easier when you’re young.
You've knocked the nail on the head. I found myself in your situation. I use to go all over the country, mostly down south, but no one could make the trip up north. Mostly friends from Uni. In my close friends group I tend to do all the organisation for events. I find though as life moves on people have family commitments. As for moving overseas, the grass isn't always greener. I had a visa to move to Australia, having had several friends move over there. I had visited 18 times in 10 years, however not everything is rosy there either. Cost of living, migration, politics, work life balance. I work all over the world with my job, and have always found myself coming back to the UK. Every country has positives an negatives. I'm glad I didn't move to Australia, when I first went it was cheap, now my friends are struggling to make ends meet, more so than over here. They don't get the time to enjoy the beach etc as its all work.
Im 51 now, and i only have 3 very close friends and around 6 casual friends now, i lost lots of friends, including one very close friend over the last 4 years just because i questioned certain things that were being enforced on us. I also find that my tolerance of idiots is diminishing quickly lol. It did really upset me at the time, but i realise now, they cant have been that good of a friend. "F@R r1gHt" is just one of those names the far left throw around because they cant think of a real argument with any substance. As Dominic frisby sings...."we're all far right now" 🤣 take it easy, and do what you feel is right for you and your family and ignore the trolls 👍🏻
I'm 44 and in the same boat. My career in IT, working from home, has isolated me to some extent. I also noticed around the time I had kids, a lot of my mates also had kids and no one has any time or energy for socialising, or we're just not free at the same time. Fellow C42 pilot here by the way, I was training at the same time as you and found your videos very helpful! I play drums in a band and this forces me to go out at the weekends to a social environment, so this scratches the itch a little bit, but I definitely don't have any meaningful connections with friends any more. Same as you, family is everything to me and until my kids are independent I see it as my duty to prioritise them. I saw a book called 'manage your energy, not your time'. I didn't read it but the title says it all really. Maybe we're all just doing that and have less energy as we get older. You seem like a top bloke and have been inspirational to a lot of people. I don't think losing friends is a reflection on you, just down to society and circumstances.
Im 47, James these thoughts have occupied my mind over the last year. I think that as you get older some people are content with their partners and life. Other people are way more concerned about what other people think of them and what they are doing. I am not the latter. Neither it seems are you or many other people in these comments. Thanks James. Tip top.
People have trouble accepting the fact that other people have a difference of opinion. You’re labelled far right because of it. You carry on! I’m 42 & have no friends at all, I’m a married man with 4 children so don’t have a great deal of time between work & family. Men in the 40’s are very much up against these days struggling to put food on the table & paying bills.
Since being married and then having children and work. What times left for socialising with friends? Also to be honest I'd rather be at home with my wife and kids than hanging around with friends
Friends come and go throughout our lives. Most friendships will only last as long as the circumstances surrounding them remain. I'm 48 and single and most of my friends have settled down and I only see them for the Xmas get together but it doesn't bother me since that's life.
The saying being a kid are the best days of your life literally so true. As we get older our free time becomes less and less with working and raising our own familys.
I've enjoyed these couple of little videos - keep them up! Interesting to get someone of a similar age of similar views expressing what many of us are thinking. Found your channel years ago when doing my PPL, some of your videos were invaluable!
wouldn't worry about it mate.... I'm also Centre right and this country IS going down the pan, absolutely no question about it. However the rest of Europe is also going down the pan (and I don't mean just the EU) There are 44 countries in Europe and only 27 in the EU. So we never left Europe (unless there was a shift in the tectonic plates that I missed. Australia has the right idea with no nonsense politics and Australia comes first. This is what the UK needs to get back to. There's an old aircraft adage that says "put your oxygen mask on first before helping others". With regard friends...it's natural wastage, you move on. I had dozens of friends in my 20s and 30s because you go out socialising; play sports together; go to events etc... but you move on, have a family and your focus shifts onto that. I have perhaps a handful of true friends and as you get older you realise that's all you need
I'm also 41 and I'd say I have 3 close and long term friends. I think that's fairly typical. One of my close friends is currently leaving the UK and another has lived in Rome for over a decade. That distance hasn't diminished our friendship but it does, of course, make in person meet ups less frequent. On the other hand, it provides the opportunity to go and stay in different countries so it has pros and cons. I'm also considering leaving the UK but that decision ultimately comes down to family. By the way, I highly recommend a good home gym. Barbell, fold out rack, weights and dumbells are all you really need.
Nothing to worry about James. I've got a couple of really good friends and loads of acquaintances. I know who to rely on. As we get older we naturally figure out who to stay close to and generally the list gets smaller. I really enjoyed the video the preceded this, you are absolutely right!
Once your friends get married and start having kids, the less you will see of them as they have their hands full and different priorities/commitments. No reflection on you, just how it is.
I agree with this, but it is painful to stay and see the country you like being slowly destroyed. I can't help thinking it would be easier in another country as you are the outsider and would accept changes more readily.
Well i am 41. I kept a close couple of friends. Real friends... Sadly, My closest friend, known for 30 years, died last July. Doing what you are doing. Walking. He dropped dead, with heart failure at 40. Not unfit, no real preexisting condition, just one minute here, next gone... The way i see it, since, is that life is way too short. I know it's clichê but really it is. You either stay and make your stand or go if you feel you need to. Personally, i wish i was with him, maybe i could have done something? I don't know but what i realise is that i know i need to be here around my family and closest people. You never know when they might need you. I'd hate not being around and something happening, thinking i may have been the difference, i know, because this is what i feel from experience as mentioned. People are exceptionally busy, we are working ever more and we also have more distractions in our lives. I try not to take it personally, have trust in your judgement and try to be there.
I've always maintained that when I pull up outside my house after a day at work, everything beyond my front door is all that's important to me, The rest is nice to have but not essential. True friends will stick around, will you miss them if you emigrate, well I'm 44 I have 3 close friends, we all grew up together in a small village through primary and secondary school our parents know each other...all that fuzzy stuff...but for most of our adult lifes we only get together once or twice a year at most and that's fine we just pick up where we left off last time like it was only yesterday, there used to be 4 of us unfortunately 1 friend sadly isn't with us anymore, obviously we were sad, mourned and missed him deeply, but it honestly took maybe 12/18 months for me to actually miss his presence as we only ever get together as mentioned once or twice a year. So if you only see your close friends occasionally and not every friday down the pub it'll be fine, Bit of a ramble but hope it makes sense.
im 50, and it gets worse, i had 8 - 9 close friends, now im down to 2, your wife will become your best friend, life in england, is work work work, no time for friends, as friendships require time, which many of us don't have. you will make new friends the more spare time you have. i can only imagine your time schedule, but i bet it does not leave you with much time for that luxury.
Not really. There are plenty of responses to seeing asylum seekers coming over the channel on boats (as an example) which don’t involve saying ‘send them back’ or ‘sink them’. It depends on your outlook
It's odd that people identify as right and are anti immigration and vote for people who massively benefit from cheap labour. Strange that the Conservative party made so much noise and then never reduced immigration when they could have as would have effected their mates in the city.
Yeah this has totally caught me off guard. I had my very close tight circle that I thought would be enough for life. But the group has just drifted. 2 of them have changed a lot and developed a heavy weed habit that I never expected. I see 1 friend still but not making new friends has been a mistake and now I don't have much to go out for or anyone to really see much
This is my reality, totally losing touch with most of my close friends group during the pandemic. I've moved back to my hometown 2 years ago, and despite some effort to revive those connections, their lives and priorities have changed enough that I rarely fit into it anymore. It's best to make new friends through hobbies. I've had success with mountain biking groups, find your people.
I think it's perfectly normal to have less friends as you get older. I think it matters less and you don't need the drama that it sometimes brings. When you find your place in the world, you have less need for friends. I don't have many friends but also I'm comfortable in my own skin, I know who and what I am and that is cool with me. I love going out with my wife but aside from that, I don't like going out that much, I find it quite hard work nowadays. The organising it and making sure it happens is too stressful so I don't bother. I think you do you and they do them, that works for me.
I have a similar thing with friends James and you are right about the fact that as you get older they do, 'Thin out,' but it really don't matter. Personally as long as I have my family then I know I have all I need. I am retired now and at 69 I'm getting back into flying at my local club at Tollerton. Our family friends are the ones we spend time with occasionally but most of the time I'm happy that it's just me and my wife Vicky trying to figure out this crazy world. As my dad used to often say,' You'll be rate mate. 😊
42, while I’m in the same boat, no, I don’t think it’s normal. However, these aren’t normal times either. I think prior to internet days, friends and community was the norm. People our age then had a better time connecting to others and adaptable to meet-up. As we grew, we thought that lifestyle of interaction would endure. The digital age changed all that, slowly at first, but kicked into hi-gear post the coff-coff. This ‘nu-normal’ of post-modernism is leading us down a path of isolation, commodity, comfortability, and commerciality. The idea of community will be displayed in a museum. So no.. it’s not normal, they just want it for us to be the normal.
Alright James, long term creeper, learned a lot and been very entertained along the way. All I can say regarding friends I nicked off someone else: friendship is like a garden; you have to tend it to get the most out of it. Especially true when you emigrate as I did to Ireland! Keep up the great work!
Close friends are like family but you have more connection with them. Some times Friends change as u don't have anything in common with them anymore when Ur life changes.
I've lost friends over the years. A lot of them are married or in relationships, have kids and full time jobs. Some have moved to other parts of the country. I still hear from them from time to time but we don't see each other very much at all. My two closest friends have passed away very recently too. Friends come and go I've noticed. I think it's normal James. I can make new friends anywhere.
I think it’s time. When you have work, and then a wife and then kids as well time runs away with you. It happened to me, I’ve kept 2 close friends but we can go ages without talking as we don’t live close. I have other friends, but I wouldn’t say close, they are what you call tier 2 friends, ones in hobbies, work, neighbours etc. I’m quite happy in my family unit truthfully, maybe it depends on how introverted or extroverted you are.
@ well if you do, I wish you and your family all the best. I hope you upload a few videos if you do move, it might be your best adventure yet, hold tight!
Thanks for this comforting to hear other peeps going through similar. I clicked for the title my eyes are bad wasn't expecting Mr PP..... nearly finished bathroom...
generally speaking friends require work to maintain that relationship. Most people have families and that relationship becomes more important. Basically friends have served their purpose when younger and you move on.
Good video mate. I think a lot are feeling this myself included. We are living in really wierd times where friendship and fraternity seem to not exist anymore only a coldness and hositilty where its incredibly difficult to build freindships long lasting ones anyway. In terms of the UK i think most brits feel the same way. The need for a place where people are freindly and smile and have time for family while in the sun increses every day. Stay safe folks.
M47. The last 5-10 yrs I've seen my friendships mostly dissolve due to kids and general life stuff. To be brutally honest weddings are more like funerals, they destroy more relationships than they create. 2025 is a year of trying to rebuild as enough is enough and life is too short. Cheers.
Most people are not interested in self improvement and instead opt to just get by, and your improvement will ultimately annoy them. An example of this would be giving up alcohol. Poeple who drink do not like associating with people who dont becuase it holds up a mirror to their own shortcomings,
I’m 59, happily married, busy with shanty singing, learning the piano, organising the odd bus trip, amongst a miriad of other stuff and with friends spread around the country. I have a couple of old mates I’ve known for 40 years who live 30mins and 90mins away. I Whatapp’d them to arrange a long overdue catch-up, being aware that they’ve both had a lot on their respective plates. No response from either. I know distance plays a part, but I am on the verge of letting our friendship slide! I concur with your sentiments and will busy myself with directing my efforts towards those who are more receptive!
I'm moving to Spain, I can't stand this 💩 hole now. Getting burgled and arrested for protecting family was the final straw. If you want peace in your life leave, it's a completely different lifestyle out there. As for friends, all my life-long friends are hooked on drink or drugs now. Hence, we no longer talk, their choice not mine.
@@TimesWithJames the odd thing is they all moan about the state of the country, but they don't get they are fueling it's demise, I can't stand the stuff, I even quit drinking myself. Where in spain are you thinking of going?
I used to live in London with my Ex - I wanted to move away, she wanted to stay as all her friends lived there. I moved away, she stayed, all her friends moved out. If you want to go to Spain - go to Spain - one life and it is short. You WILL regret not going. Friends come and go - real friends are always there in some format if not in person.
I have a select few friends at 49 Haven't really got 2nd tier friends as such. I have 4 I See, Some every so often and others nearly every week due to Motorcycle rides and meeting up on a Sunday Mornings in the Summer but not much in the winter, But still stay in touch with the odd text. But when we do meet up it's like we just carry on where we left off lol My life is my Wife and kids and my home where I love to be. My wife is my best friend and we love doing everything together from Gaming/Bike rides/Films/Days out etc I do love meeting up with a mate now and then but normally involves a drink and a meal like a bromance lol People are just who they're are. I was always the organizer and the first to reach out, If I didn't it would sometimes feel like I would never see them again. But when we do meet they're super happy we did. Looking back over the years they have always been like that. So more of a personality trait. With age/Work/Family/cost of going out/time, like me now pushing 50 I am knackered most of the time and happier just to stay in and avoid people lol
I've considered leaving the UK for years for various reasons but it feels too much like cowardice to me. Surrendering my country that gave me so much because times are tough. Some of the reasons we are in this mess is because too many good, strong british people have left the UK and not enough native brits are having babies.
Try being 80 with absolutely no one mate. Having a child was the best thing I've ever done. Every day is amazing because I wake up to watching him grow, develop and making me laugh. I've been with my Mrs since we were 17 and we're so happy. If that makes me a 'simp' then YEAH BABY!
I live for myself, i don't and never had many friends. I enjoy my life, i travel the world when i can. I had one friend up until 2021, i realised he was only a friend when it was convenient for him, so i pushed back from that. I don't need to share what i do, because i do it for myself and nobody else.
If where you live isn't working out for you or is actively making you unhappy, move. Best friends/friends in general... well it's easy to think of it should work (lots of contact, etc.) But my best and long time friends rarely contact me. But I'm there for them when they need to talk or need help and vice versa. It's a real connection that doesn't constantly need prodded to stay active.
I think in the UK maybe it is normal. I'm 47, its my experience too. I find that its quite hard to make new friends in the UK. People work long hours, cost of living isnt exactly cheap and there is much less of a community feel than maybe there used to be. People have more stresses and i think naturally just withdraw to deal with those. I recently went travelling for 4 months and met so many new friends who i have stayed in touch with ever since who i regard as good friends. I dont think people in the UK are particularly receptive to just randomly making conversation and then meeting up. I think it feels weird? or is that just me. Just general life in the UK does not feel conducive to meeting new people. As i get older the draw of just going out drinking of spending a bunch of cash at a restaurant is not so strong these days. Can't we just hang out and have a chat anymore? 😂
I am 39 and was thinking this over Christmas, I didn't go out once with my mates. we all still interact via watts app groups. This makes it feel that we speak every day but haven't seen it each other 2-3 years. its strange
I know this might sound a bit sad, but here it goes anyway. I don’t have any close friends-not because I’m a recluse, but because I’m a deep thinker. I find it difficult to connect with people on the same intellectual or emotional level. I can handle the usual surface-level conversations, but honestly, I don’t find them fulfilling, so I don’t see the point in pursuing them. That said, I do enjoy meeting and chatting with strangers, especially in places like the pub, where conversations can feel fresh and unstructured. Recently, I’ve started using AI for anything I’m curious about or need answers to, and to be honest, it’s been a game-changer. It’s helped me find clarity and answers to things I used to struggle with or get frustrated over. I’ve come to appreciate it as a way to engage deeply with topics that intrigue me, and I no longer feel the need to complain about not having access to information or meaningful insights. On top of that, my family seem to only be happy when I’m miserable and complaining about something. It’s not like I complain for the sake of it-I only do it because I’m looking for help or support. But when I don’t get that, it just reinforces why I prefer seeking solutions on my own.
Thanks for watching everyone. What do you think? Is this normal? Please subscribe if you can be bovved! ❤
Being called a far right conspiracy theorist is a badge of honour. Unfortunately these "academics" are walking, talking examples of a GIGO model, spoon fed propaganda by government & big business. You have to laugh 😂
@@microfarming8583If you don't follow the herd who went along with the news for the last 5 years, you will feel isolated. I rather have clarity of mind and no friends than talk to people around who took the blue pill.
Normal for me. 56 now and basically no friends at all, although a cancer diagnosis 10 years ago thinned them out fairly quickly, quite common apparently ☹️
How strange!
@ it was pretty hard to find out these people weren’t there for me when things got tough. I think some don’t know what to say, some don’t want that sadness in their lives etc. 🤷🏼♂️
I probably drove some away too as I went to a pretty dark place for quite a long time, I was constantly talking about death and very depressed 😔
Fair-weather friends, who needs them.
Atb Pal
I'm nearly 87 now and have outlived all my friends and workmates so now have no contact with my past and no one to discuss those time together which is such a shame. I phone one or two people who are invariably out and about and if I'm lucky and catch them when they are in they will often ask me was there anything in particular I was phoning them about which makes me feel somewhat awkward and embarrassed as to why I bothered them in the first place.
Ignore the trolls and politically challenged , you are a switched on bloke , professional plumber and a pilot , you are articulate and intelligent, the people calling you far right need a reality check
That's very kind of you. I'm going to screen shot this and send it to my wife! 😂
Stop caring what the Libtrads think, for gods sake! 🙄
Yes I'm in the same situation .most of my friends are professionals like me but are alcoholics or on coke and they all seem to be taken in by woke thinking and Marxism . Myself I don't really like any politicians yet my friends call me far right for not being a Marxist . They have collectively lost there minds . I suspect the COVID jab plus booze and drugs have ruined their critical thinking skills .
You are not Far right, you are right so far ! 👍🏼❤️
Ha! Thanks!
Please watch "Europa the last battle" 12h documentary and "the protocols of the learned elders of zion" in order to understand what is really going on. Cheers.
That old cliché
F(ar right: anyone to the right of the neo-Stalinist authoritarian establishment)
@@dotdashdotdash Stalinist - anyone who hasn’t completely lost their mind obsessing over skin colour and boats.
Iam 42 and can say I’ve also lost friends over the years. It did bother me at first but I learnt people do not like seeing you do better than them or people use you to better themselves. So at my point in life as long as my close family are ok I’m happy.
42 about to turn 43 this month.. my “friends circle” has shrank in the last 10-15 years.. still have some close friends and one I’ve known since I was 3 at playschool.. quality over quantity is the key..
I've barely any friends and don't miss them, but I'd hang out with most of the folks in this comment section any day.
The comment section can be the closest place to meet up with like minded people who are forging ahead knowing that personal fortitude is the mainstay of thriving in the future. Independent of mass delusion, the importance of knowing the difference between what you need and what you want. Prioritizing what really matters by not wasting our time on silly pursuits as we did in the past. You realize you aren't "alone" at all, you find a different sort of friend in the comments. You find people who won't bow to their circumstances but take a hard look at what is and don't deny it, but choose wise, informed living apart from those who look elseware. This is our common ground.
This is so enlightening watching this video. 43 here. Centre right. I've had a few friends abandon me and make me feel like utter shit for daring to have perfectly logical opinions about controversial issues in this country. Some are from an academic background and work in the public sector. I do think some are weak and scared, and so follow the easy route and populist crowd. They are scared to have any controversial opinions because of the potential consequences within the other circles they participate in. It isn't fair, and it isn't nice, but always be yourself. I'm glad I'm not alone from watching this.
Don't make any jokes about Stalin....you'll be in the Gulag!
All my friends are on the left. I'm centre right I'd say. I don't discuss politics with them at all.
Just out interest what are your views they don't like?
@@garyrobinson8665 I commend you for you self control for not discussing politics and getting a few digs in, with the way things are going. I'm so sick of the left and the way the country is going, I have stopped even worrying about who I wind up or upset. If they are real friends, they shouldn't worry about your views but then again, we are talking about the left.
I'm far right and don't give a fk😂😂😂😂
The breakdown of my marriage affected my relationship with friends; and going to court for "an equal shared care parenting agreement" cost me my relationship with my children. I feel so sorry for them.
Making friends as an adult is a lonely experience, everyone is busy, stressed or have responsibilities that make forming new friends difficult.
This is why many people have pets ;)
Social media has extinguished the art of socialising. I believe that most people today are exhausted and full of drama. Nobody makes much of an effort to socialise anymore. When people do go out, they are constantly on their phones; it is also unfortunate to see this while walking down the street. People should be laughing and joking together, not burying their heads in their phones.
I believe that people have become exhausted by unreal interactions and are unable to interact with others in person because it involves more work to please people in person. People are becoming lost in a world that is more connected together with technology, which is draining your real life that should be more connected. It is no longer a simple life. I believe people have too much stimulation going on in their brains from the phones, and having to overwork to pay bills and taxes its all stress whilst balancing a family life.
The world and the govement is all against freedom and its all just depression on everyone. The best thing in the world was going out with my friends. Now it is just not the same. Everything that was good is slowly being taken away by technology and governments....
So, the answer to your question is: what constitutes normal anymore? It definitely does not reflect the times we live in. We just need to try to make the most of it, be positive, show up when needed, help one another, and be present rather than being lost in your damn phone, as I am typing this comment. Lol
Excellent comment mate! I might come back to this in my next video!
For New Years I was actually out for a change (Sri Lanka, Hikkaduwa) first time I have been to a club in 15 years or more. What did I notice? Most of the party goers were all on their phones communicating with folks not presently in the club, weird!? NB I do not own a phone, that is why I found it strange.
A couple of years ago I was at a big park near Ottawa, and I saw a large group of people (who may, or may not, have been together, since there were four benches in the area) and every single damn one of them was looking at their phone, including a woman with kids holding onto her hand and leg. It looked so weird that I wondered if they were all playing some app game together (hunting Pokemon?). I almost stopped and took a picture, but that felt rude. But would they even have noticed?
Social media and smartphones have ruined so many things - friends being one, as you don’t need to catch up with an old friend and talk about what you’ve been up to, as you’ve seen it all on social media already.
I think they are causing people to hyper focus on issues and reinforce peoples beliefs making some people more extreme.
I was saying this with my wife the other night. She's deleted social media and is liking it so far (I wish I could but I use it for work). But yeah, what is there to talk about if I already know everything you've been up to?! 😂
AS A 49 YR OLD THE INTERNET HAS RUINED EVERYTHING!!! BUT ONLY FOR PEOPLE OLD ENOUGH TO REMEMBER THE WORLD WITHOUT THE #HIT!
Ahhhh the 90s! What a time to be alive!
"Losing friends" I think what it is James is that nobody really cares and often people don't want you doing better than them. Its kinda like the primary school playground but bit bigger.
and the quality of people has gone down the toilet.
Some care, but most are just shallow piss heads!
"Its kinda like the primary school playground but bit bigger." I've always thought that about British politicians and theyre cringy 'debates' in the commons! 😂
@@fonzoo Oh yeah, its all theatre and giving each other back handers...
I turned 41 on Christmas Eve. There were friends that didn’t care to wish me happy birthday, or remembered 2 days later. I haven’t replied to any of them. A couple have sent me messages to fill me in on their latest crisis that they want me to solve for them. I haven’t replied. I’ve been very quiet on my socials. The reality of these friends, are not actually my friends. I feel like I want to address the forgetting my birthday, but I don’t think any of them are emotionally mature enough to understand why that would have hurt me. I also don’t want to come across like a spoiled brat. I spent my birthday on my own, I trained at the gym and had a little slice of cake to myself. 🥺I’m done but to your point, I have no friends, I also don’t have family either. Loneliness is getting harder and harder. but I’d rather be lonely than have people in my life that use me. But if anyone else has a perspective to share with me I’m interested in hearing.
That does sound like quite a sad situation. I hope you find some meaningful friends soon. Good luck! And Happy Birthday!
@ thank you so much James
Happy belated birthday, I’m in a similar situation, I found that I’d always wish others happy birthday but rarely done for me and worst of all, organising social stuff, it got to the point where it felt like it was a one way street with me organising everything, especially for family and friends who live a distance away, last year I didn’t travel for once because I wanted to see if anyone of them organised anything
Read on the subject of stoicism.
@@timberry4250I think that's just the way with some people, we were supposed to meet up before Xmas all the cousins we are on a WhatsApp group and it all went quiet about it. Everyone was all for it in October and come November and December nothing said never happened....they only seem to meet up at funerals.
Lifelong friends really dont exist. A close freind test is >> do they vist you in hospital ? If not, they are not.
56 here, I've definitely shifted to spending more time alone, less with friends, but don't think it's a negative! I enjoy my own company more now, whereas I didn't like being alone when I was younger-I had a raging case of FOMO. I find that the energy it takes to maintain relationships has dwindled. The core ones that are truly important I still work on, but superficial ones, or ones that tire me out I have backed away from. One thing for sure that's shifted my socializing is quitting drinking spring of '24. I feel so much better, tolerate stress better, and my mind is quieter. So far, I don't see these changes as a warning sign, more that I'm focusing on myself and things that truly make me happy. Who knows, maybe in 20yrs I'll be wandering around the house like an old ghost 👻 but for today, this feels right and nice.
My friend came over from the USA to visit over Christmas, she’s usually a lefty but was quite concerned about the censorship here in the UK. I told her that people like me are referred to as thugs, she laughed.
Are we really on the left and not more on the right? Like what evidence do you have of any socialism in the UK as everything is Private contract even the NHS is being privatized?
I am not talking about the woke left and more the traditional left
@ my understanding of being on the right is to have as little government interference in my life as possible; by all means use my taxes to resurface the roads but don’t tell me what to drive!
@@AJ-hi9fd Example of being on the right is that your taxes pass to a private outsourced contractor to fix the pot holes.
Yea get the on the extreme right you would no regulations so could drive anything. Not sure that would be great for us all
Moving to Spain isn't the answer. Running away isn't the answer
I'm 73. The older I get the more cynical I get.
I've tried all my life to be helpful and kind to my friends. They take my money and time then smack me back im the mush.
Agreed. Might bring him a better lifestyle though as the UK is a bummer & super expensive to even just do the most menial of things.
Going somewhere NICE is a good answer. Going somewhere you want to be, is a good answer ;) We don't get any do overs in this life. Sitting still and taking a beating gets boring after a while.
How did you cope with it?
I was made redundant at age 51. Spent 8 years looking after unwell relatives. Both now deceased. Used to have lots of friends who would always be in touch. As I was unable to leave a relative on her own I was unable to go out. Gradually, communication with friends dwindled as they moved on. Family used to be in touch when they wanted an update on unwell family member. Now, very little contact unless they want something. Currently debating whether to move home. As brother said, doesn't matter where you live as nobody is going to visit. An interesting experiment... I am always the one that sends a Xmas card first and some I email and some message. Try holding back instead to see who contacts you first. Who is actually thinking of you first and who only contacts you because you contacted them. Great way to whittle down your Xmas card and messages list.
Exactly
I've been in this country since birth, 55 years of making friends. They've all gone, they do nothing and literally can't be arsed getting in touch. If i suggest we do something they all come up with some pathetic excuse. I announced this week that I'll be leaving the UK in a month and they may never see me again. Not one single person out of my friends or family suggested we meet up before i go. Only about 6 responded to the post. They basically said "Good look" or "take care"
Be comfortable with yourself
I left UK 🇬🇧 in 07 for a better life for me and my family
Thanks 🙏
James, you are not a "far right" or any other kind of extremist ! You have said it perfectly, we are almost all centre left to centre right but the left have gone so we are "extreme" to the extremists.
Leaving the UK is perfectly and horrifically normal thought spreading through the majority of the UK population right now.
I left a months ago. I have very little money. England has gone.
The modern left have completely lost the plot and are helping to destroy this country through ignorance and lack of common sense, just look what they voted in. If a happy go lucky motivated guy like this is questioning whether its worth staying in his own country then something has gone drastically wrong with this economy and society and I think we can all see this. I would be off to Spain.
We need to make a "far right friends group" for those of us that are apparently so far right we are no longer welcome for pointing out what is wrong in our country. You're not alone
Is this not the issue in that people where be left or right are hyper focusing on issues with the Internet connecting people with similar views. Sometimes is surely good to be challenged on your views?
@James-dv1df you think unchecked immigration from countries that despise our way of life, and mass gang rape of children by foreign men lies in the category of "views to be challenged"?
I've had very few close friends in life and after moving to Cornwall 13 years ago to give our children a better way of life I'm pretty much left with none.
Most of the time it doesn't bother me but every now and then I think about the closeness I've had with friends of the past.
I'm lucky as I have a wonderful wife and we support each other but that isn't the same as being able to sound off to a close friend.
I think people change as they get older and that can make you cast certain friends aside as we all take a different path.
It's a difficult one.
This comment is crazy, I did the exact same thing 2 yrs ago and literally have no real friends anymore either, my so called best mate who was my best man at my wedding and ive known for 35 yrs didn't even bother to come and visit, I ended up cutting all ties ... my only other real mate moved at the same time to the lake district so were like oppersite ends of the country, he phones me a few times a week but due to the distance its hard to see each other. luckily ive got a big family and have amazing relationships with my kids. It's quite isolating living in Cornwall like this as my previous life involved around pubs and exploring all the trimmings of London.... It's only been 2 yrs and been having so many doubts about staying here.
Life is a journey and I guess sometimes people just fall away as we go.
I've had the same thing with my best man. Never answers the phone anymore. Totally into his own life and problems. No time for a beer unless it's on his terms.
@@TimesWithJamesI've had that, a close friend that I used to help out any way that I could used to take the piss by always being happy to my time, knowledge and skills, but never wanted to be there when I wouldn't have minded a hand (I bet you know this well as a plumber).
@@TimesWithJames Sounds like the last few friends I had in the UK. When you contact them they act like you are asking for an immediate appointment with a doctor when he is about to call it a day? All vaxzinated too.
I find seeing mates envolves drinking then end up with 2 day hangover,so puts me off😂
The hangovers a killer.
I just drive now.
I stopped drinking as I found that drinking friends are not really friends and it was a waste of money. I go to the gym most days so drinking was just spinning wheels.
Hi James
Really aligned on this and your past video topics. I’m also considering leaving the U.K after redundancy from work. At 47 I just won’t want life passing me by trying to maintain my head above water here. The costs to survive are out of control and I just don’t want to chase it for the sake of health. So I’m actively looking to leave over the next 6 months.
As for friends - I think the challenge here is also political and lifestyle. Over the last 4 years we have changed a lot. No one remembers what we did the last few years, it’s all been politically charged with social medial playing a big roll…. Everything good was before 2020.
It’s hard maintaining friendships especially when so much of it is online, that’s not real friendship in my eyes.
Focus on your family, you and those closest around you. The rest is just noise.
Good advice.
Agree on the 'Online Friendship' statement.
Im 47 pal, in the last 10 years I have had 2 hip replacements and 3 back operations as well as suffering with depression and soon found out that I only have acquaintances not friends. I have also been single for 15 years. It's not just you mate, as we get older we dont want all the drama & BS. We just want a quiet life, tbh I just can't wait to die coz there is fuckall in my life. Just do what makes you happy 👍
Do you thing brother but please try not to feel like you can't wait to die my man. Keep looking, read loads and find your joy. You are not alone!
Fucking hell 😮
@@TeeTee-zm2reIt’s a very common sentiment these days - people (mostly men) just feel able to say it.
Visit Russia before die
Nah sod that !@@Ролтун
I’m 47 and my friendship circle went from about 15 when I was in my 30’s to 4 now. Variety of reasons but some are due to people changing, priorities change etc.
I'm 36. I have come to realise the nature of the people makes the notion of friends a partnership of convenience. The maintaince of the relationships we create are based on the prospect of how much advantage may be extracted from the relationship. The same is sadly true of significant others.
If you know any former miliary; ask them if they keep in touch with the guys they served with; most of them dont; and those bonds were forged over life and death.
I thought veterans in general normally did stay in touch
@@MrAlio101Not really. I have a lot of family and friends that were in the military and very few of them keep intouch with those they served with. Most of their friends are from high school or varsity. Not from the military.
Yep perfectly normal. At about 38 I got an illness and all those so called friends couldn’t even text me to see why I wasn’t out and about anymore. So I stopped all contact and that was that. 20 years later and good riddance to what was plastic friendships.
Its just a natural phenomenon that happens. Location, career changes, family and illness dwindles most of them away.
People you only drink with are not real friends, people you only play sport or go to a game with are not real friends.
This is all normal Jimmy, inner peace is all you need.
In my experience, once people get married and have kids, you don't hear from them as much. I am an 'all or nothing' kind of person so I actually find it quite insulting when these people decide to 'touch base' with me...because they are probably just doing so because they're bored for 5 minutes. I don't have time for people that don't have time for me - that includes family too. It's that simple.
Spot on!
Yes you don’t want them to bring their kids to the pub or cafe. Can’t talk adults stuff. Kids ruin friendships
@@beaulieuc8910 Completely agree. And having kids with them mean no drinking, which is basically the main attraction for me. Oh, and they're always late 'because of the kids'...they claim. And then they need to leave early because the kids are getting restless. Complete waste of time, basically.
Friends come and go, just a fact of life. Moving away is the opportunity to make new friends depending how easy you find it. I retired year before last at 58. Some people I'd worked with for 30 years or so I considered good friends but now they have just gone. Kept in touch for the first few months but now it's like I never knew those people, it's very surreal but just one of those things. Quite sad really. I think people these days make less of an effort to keep in touch, sign of the times. How often do you talk to your next door neighbour.
Hi, my sentiments exactly, I’m 57 and have found like to be just as you say, it’s nothing to worry about
That's the thing with the people you work with, are they really good friends, or are you just friendly because you spend so much time together, after all, you probably spent more time with them than your wife and family. I've worked with many people over the years and while I've had a good laugh and banter with most of them, you can count on one hand the people I'd actually see out of work time.
Colleagues are not friends
@@beaulieuc8910 They can be.
Cant really help with this one, had a best friend once, he stole my girl, never had one since. A friend will, f%&k your wife, borrow, use your car, drink your beer, a stranger doesn't do that, I find it a kind of weakness you need friends, I stand on my own two feet, always have done, that doesn't mean I'm unsocial able because I not, I just prefer to be a sniper, than part of the team, that way my neck is my responsibility, not reliant on friends, all the best.
Mate that's brutal!
I am a few years older, but you are right. I made LOTS of effort to make friends etc but have found over the last few years, most have disappeared and stopped responding, so I stopped trying. On the plus side, what I found it has done is that I value the friendships I do have and I am far more selective as to who I will spend my time with.
James, in my opinion you come across as a great guy, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You’ve inspired the next generation of plumbers and helped loads of people grow in confidence, tackling plumbing jobs around the house. One of your videos, has personally saved me hundreds of pounds. These people criticising you, how many things have they done to help people. For years, you’ve been passing on your hard earned knowledge for free. When you’ve built a career up from nothing, early starts, giving up your weekends, payed thousands in tax and NI etc.. It’s perfectly natural to sway away from left leaning politics. Favouring the ‘hard work brings greater rewards’ ethos, it has much more in common with centre/right leaning politics.
Thanks for the lovely comment mate.
Just found out my youtube plumber has a whole other channel and he has existential angst! I'm glad your son came through I was worried watching that one.
You a legend mate, love watching you, you cracking me up all the time,
Great plumber and good humour.
Stay with us here, we gona win this battle.
Fux the trolls and those jealous and envious people.
Ha thanks man!
My only 2 friends have completely different views of life and politics and yet we remain friends for 25 years and counting (41 now). We have to accept other views, other opinions and live with that.
You don't lose friends, you lose acquaintances. Who sticks with you after 60 are your true friends, even if it's only one or two. It doesn't matter to them what your beliefs or views are, or to you, theirs.
I 100 percent agree with everything you say. Friends come and go. It doesn't matter.
Yes, it’s totally normal to find it hard to make new friends or maintain friendships as you get older. It’s mostly down to having less free time with work and family, or distance as people move. It’s so much easier when you’re young.
All of the critics will be "far right" soon. You're just ahead of the curve
You've knocked the nail on the head. I found myself in your situation. I use to go all over the country, mostly down south, but no one could make the trip up north. Mostly friends from Uni. In my close friends group I tend to do all the organisation for events. I find though as life moves on people have family commitments. As for moving overseas, the grass isn't always greener. I had a visa to move to Australia, having had several friends move over there. I had visited 18 times in 10 years, however not everything is rosy there either. Cost of living, migration, politics, work life balance. I work all over the world with my job, and have always found myself coming back to the UK. Every country has positives an negatives. I'm glad I didn't move to Australia, when I first went it was cheap, now my friends are struggling to make ends meet, more so than over here. They don't get the time to enjoy the beach etc as its all work.
Less friends but also care less. Spend time with my family and see one friend sometimes. Good enough for me. no one owes me there time and vice versa.
The sense of community has been lost. No pride left in society to maintain a community, everyone just keeps to themselves.
Im 51 now, and i only have 3 very close friends and around 6 casual friends now, i lost lots of friends, including one very close friend over the last 4 years just because i questioned certain things that were being enforced on us.
I also find that my tolerance of idiots is diminishing quickly lol. It did really upset me at the time, but i realise now, they cant have been that good of a friend. "F@R r1gHt" is just one of those names the far left throw around because they cant think of a real argument with any substance. As Dominic frisby sings...."we're all far right now" 🤣 take it easy, and do what you feel is right for you and your family and ignore the trolls 👍🏻
Better off without them ...same thing happened to me
I'm 44 and in the same boat. My career in IT, working from home, has isolated me to some extent. I also noticed around the time I had kids, a lot of my mates also had kids and no one has any time or energy for socialising, or we're just not free at the same time.
Fellow C42 pilot here by the way, I was training at the same time as you and found your videos very helpful!
I play drums in a band and this forces me to go out at the weekends to a social environment, so this scratches the itch a little bit, but I definitely don't have any meaningful connections with friends any more.
Same as you, family is everything to me and until my kids are independent I see it as my duty to prioritise them. I saw a book called 'manage your energy, not your time'. I didn't read it but the title says it all really. Maybe we're all just doing that and have less energy as we get older.
You seem like a top bloke and have been inspirational to a lot of people. I don't think losing friends is a reflection on you, just down to society and circumstances.
Im 47, James these thoughts have occupied my mind over the last year. I think that as you get older some people are content with their partners and life. Other people are way more concerned about what other people think of them and what they are doing. I am not the latter. Neither it seems are you or many other people in these comments. Thanks James. Tip top.
Your spot on the human touch has gone out of fashion,ever since the lock down but you just crack on 👍🇬🇧
People have trouble accepting the fact that other people have a difference of opinion. You’re labelled far right because of it. You carry on! I’m 42 & have no friends at all, I’m a married man with 4 children so don’t have a great deal of time between work & family. Men in the 40’s are very much up against these days struggling to put food on the table & paying bills.
Men need hobbies
Since being married and then having children and work. What times left for socialising with friends? Also to be honest I'd rather be at home with my wife and kids than hanging around with friends
Wife won’t always be around what then
In my experience my true friends are the people who would answer there phone at any hour of the day or night , just an example!
Friends come and go throughout our lives. Most friendships will only last as long as the circumstances surrounding them remain. I'm 48 and single and most of my friends have settled down and I only see them for the Xmas get together but it doesn't bother me since that's life.
The saying being a kid are the best days of your life literally so true. As we get older our free time becomes less and less with working and raising our own familys.
If a 'friend' continuously doesn't get back to missed calls/texts from you, then they're not really your 'friend'. Simple as that.
I've enjoyed these couple of little videos - keep them up! Interesting to get someone of a similar age of similar views expressing what many of us are thinking.
Found your channel years ago when doing my PPL, some of your videos were invaluable!
Thanks, will do!
A lot of people say 'friends' when they're referring to acquaintances. The defining question is: Could you turn to them if you were in a corner?
wouldn't worry about it mate.... I'm also Centre right and this country IS going down the pan, absolutely no question about it. However the rest of Europe is also going down the pan (and I don't mean just the EU) There are 44 countries in Europe and only 27 in the EU. So we never left Europe (unless there was a shift in the tectonic plates that I missed. Australia has the right idea with no nonsense politics and Australia comes first. This is what the UK needs to get back to. There's an old aircraft adage that says "put your oxygen mask on first before helping others". With regard friends...it's natural wastage, you move on. I had dozens of friends in my 20s and 30s because you go out socialising; play sports together; go to events etc... but you move on, have a family and your focus shifts onto that. I have perhaps a handful of true friends and as you get older you realise that's all you need
Very true!
I'm also 41 and I'd say I have 3 close and long term friends. I think that's fairly typical. One of my close friends is currently leaving the UK and another has lived in Rome for over a decade. That distance hasn't diminished our friendship but it does, of course, make in person meet ups less frequent. On the other hand, it provides the opportunity to go and stay in different countries so it has pros and cons. I'm also considering leaving the UK but that decision ultimately comes down to family. By the way, I highly recommend a good home gym. Barbell, fold out rack, weights and dumbells are all you really need.
Nothing to worry about James. I've got a couple of really good friends and loads of acquaintances. I know who to rely on. As we get older we naturally figure out who to stay close to and generally the list gets smaller. I really enjoyed the video the preceded this, you are absolutely right!
Once your friends get married and start having kids, the less you will see of them as they have their hands full and different priorities/commitments. No reflection on you, just how it is.
Ur lucky to have a few friends. Don’t loose them by moving. The world is now a terrible place. Grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
I agree with this, but it is painful to stay and see the country you like being slowly destroyed. I can't help thinking it would be easier in another country as you are the outsider and would accept changes more readily.
Well i am 41. I kept a close couple of friends. Real friends... Sadly, My closest friend, known for 30 years, died last July. Doing what you are doing. Walking. He dropped dead, with heart failure at 40. Not unfit, no real preexisting condition, just one minute here, next gone... The way i see it, since, is that life is way too short. I know it's clichê but really it is. You either stay and make your stand or go if you feel you need to. Personally, i wish i was with him, maybe i could have done something? I don't know but what i realise is that i know i need to be here around my family and closest people. You never know when they might need you. I'd hate not being around and something happening, thinking i may have been the difference, i know, because this is what i feel from experience as mentioned. People are exceptionally busy, we are working ever more and we also have more distractions in our lives. I try not to take it personally, have trust in your judgement and try to be there.
Was he jabbed? 💉
@@royfontaine5526 Yes
It’s 100% normal, your life changes as you get older, as a group everyone changes in different ways, we all can’t go down the same road, it’s life xx
When you get to your 40's you have a lot less close friends. Especially in England.
I've always maintained that when I pull up outside my house after a day at work, everything beyond my front door is all that's important to me, The rest is nice to have but not essential.
True friends will stick around, will you miss them if you emigrate, well I'm 44 I have 3 close friends, we all grew up together in a small village through primary and secondary school our parents know each other...all that fuzzy stuff...but for most of our adult lifes we only get together once or twice a year at most and that's fine we just pick up where we left off last time like it was only yesterday, there used to be 4 of us unfortunately 1 friend sadly isn't with us anymore, obviously we were sad, mourned and missed him deeply, but it honestly took maybe 12/18 months for me to actually miss his presence as we only ever get together as mentioned once or twice a year. So if you only see your close friends occasionally and not every friday down the pub it'll be fine, Bit of a ramble but hope it makes sense.
im 50, and it gets worse, i had 8 - 9 close friends, now im down to 2, your wife will become your best friend, life in england, is work work work, no time for friends, as friendships require time, which many of us don't have. you will make new friends the more spare time you have. i can only imagine your time schedule, but i bet it does not leave you with much time for that luxury.
LOL or become your ex, as so many have discovered
Noticing things is 'far right' now.
Not really. There are plenty of responses to seeing asylum seekers coming over the channel on boats (as an example) which don’t involve saying ‘send them back’ or ‘sink them’. It depends on your outlook
It's odd that people identify as right and are anti immigration and vote for people who massively benefit from cheap labour. Strange that the Conservative party made so much noise and then never reduced immigration when they could have as would have effected their mates in the city.
@crayontom9687 huh? When did I say anything about boats?
You OK?
@@mrmeldrew693 do you know what ‘as an example’ means?
@@crayontom9687 Really, enlighten us. Because if you don't prevent their arrival or send them back they are still living on this island.
Yeah this has totally caught me off guard. I had my very close tight circle that I thought would be enough for life. But the group has just drifted. 2 of them have changed a lot and developed a heavy weed habit that I never expected. I see 1 friend still but not making new friends has been a mistake and now I don't have much to go out for or anyone to really see much
The only way to make new mates is to start doing a group hobby. Like Tennis, squash, even going to the gym!
This is my reality, totally losing touch with most of my close friends group during the pandemic. I've moved back to my hometown 2 years ago, and despite some effort to revive those connections, their lives and priorities have changed enough that I rarely fit into it anymore. It's best to make new friends through hobbies. I've had success with mountain biking groups, find your people.
I think it's perfectly normal to have less friends as you get older. I think it matters less and you don't need the drama that it sometimes brings. When you find your place in the world, you have less need for friends. I don't have many friends but also I'm comfortable in my own skin, I know who and what I am and that is cool with me. I love going out with my wife but aside from that, I don't like going out that much, I find it quite hard work nowadays. The organising it and making sure it happens is too stressful so I don't bother. I think you do you and they do them, that works for me.
Wife won’t be around forever
I have a similar thing with friends James and you are right about the fact that as you get older they do, 'Thin out,' but it really don't matter. Personally as long as I have my family then I know I have all I need. I am retired now and at 69 I'm getting back into flying at my local club at Tollerton. Our family friends are the ones we spend time with occasionally but most of the time I'm happy that it's just me and my wife Vicky trying to figure out this crazy world. As my dad used to often say,' You'll be rate mate. 😊
42, while I’m in the same boat, no, I don’t think it’s normal. However, these aren’t normal times either. I think prior to internet days, friends and community was the norm. People our age then had a better time connecting to others and adaptable to meet-up. As we grew, we thought that lifestyle of interaction would endure. The digital age changed all that, slowly at first, but kicked into hi-gear post the coff-coff. This ‘nu-normal’ of post-modernism is leading us down a path of isolation, commodity, comfortability, and commerciality. The idea of community will be displayed in a museum. So no.. it’s not normal, they just want it for us to be the normal.
So true. Lockdown destroyed so much...and for absolutely nothing.
All by design, all part of the long term plan, to fuse humans with A.I.
So well put James! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! ❤
Glad you enjoyed it!
You are your own best friend; take care of your family.... friends?... what ever.
I have no friends and think im much better off.
Shedding is a sad fact of life. I’m 50 and lucky to have 5 or so good friends plus an amazing family.
Follow your dreams buddy and hold tight 👍
Alright James, long term creeper, learned a lot and been very entertained along the way. All I can say regarding friends I nicked off someone else: friendship is like a garden; you have to tend it to get the most out of it. Especially true when you emigrate as I did to Ireland! Keep up the great work!
Thanks dude!
Close friends are like family but you have more connection with them. Some times Friends change as u don't have anything in common with them anymore when Ur life changes.
I've lost friends over the years. A lot of them are married or in relationships, have kids and full time jobs. Some have moved to other parts of the country. I still hear from them from time to time but we don't see each other very much at all. My two closest friends have passed away very recently too. Friends come and go I've noticed. I think it's normal James. I can make new friends anywhere.
Same here, and I'll try!
I think it’s time. When you have work, and then a wife and then kids as well time runs away with you. It happened to me, I’ve kept 2 close friends but we can go ages without talking as we don’t live close. I have other friends, but I wouldn’t say close, they are what you call tier 2 friends, ones in hobbies, work, neighbours etc. I’m quite happy in my family unit truthfully, maybe it depends on how introverted or extroverted you are.
I feel the same. Perhaps I'm ready to move abroad with my little family and give it a go!
@ well if you do, I wish you and your family all the best. I hope you upload a few videos if you do move, it might be your best adventure yet, hold tight!
Thanks for this comforting to hear other peeps going through similar. I clicked for the title my eyes are bad wasn't expecting Mr PP..... nearly finished bathroom...
Haha! good lad!
My Grandad used to say you can count your real friends on one hand.
generally speaking friends require work to maintain that relationship. Most people have families and that relationship becomes more important. Basically friends have served their purpose when younger and you move on.
Good video mate. I think a lot are feeling this myself included. We are living in really wierd times where friendship and fraternity seem to not exist anymore only a coldness and hositilty where its incredibly difficult to build freindships long lasting ones anyway. In terms of the UK i think most brits feel the same way. The need for a place where people are freindly and smile and have time for family while in the sun increses every day. Stay safe folks.
M47. The last 5-10 yrs I've seen my friendships mostly dissolve due to kids and general life stuff. To be brutally honest weddings are more like funerals, they destroy more relationships than they create. 2025 is a year of trying to rebuild as enough is enough and life is too short. Cheers.
Good luck mate!
Good Luck man, your situation sounds very similar to mine 😂🍀
Most people are not interested in self improvement and instead opt to just get by, and your improvement will ultimately annoy them. An example of this would be giving up alcohol. Poeple who drink do not like associating with people who dont becuase it holds up a mirror to their own shortcomings,
I’m 59, happily married, busy with shanty singing, learning the piano, organising the odd bus trip, amongst a miriad of other stuff and with friends spread around the country. I have a couple of old mates I’ve known for 40 years who live 30mins and 90mins away. I Whatapp’d them to arrange a long overdue catch-up, being aware that they’ve both had a lot on their respective plates. No response from either. I know distance plays a part, but I am on the verge of letting our friendship slide! I concur with your sentiments and will busy myself with directing my efforts towards those who are more receptive!
I'm moving to Spain, I can't stand this 💩 hole now. Getting burgled and arrested for protecting family was the final straw. If you want peace in your life leave, it's a completely different lifestyle out there. As for friends, all my life-long friends are hooked on drink or drugs now. Hence, we no longer talk, their choice not mine.
Funny that those two complain about immigrants decide to immigrate somewhere else for the same reason as those who came to the UK.
The drugs thing is so true. So many of my mates snort coke constantly. They’re just knobs!
@@TimesWithJames the odd thing is they all moan about the state of the country, but they don't get they are fueling it's demise, I can't stand the stuff, I even quit drinking myself. Where in spain are you thinking of going?
I used to live in London with my Ex - I wanted to move away, she wanted to stay as all her friends lived there. I moved away, she stayed, all her friends moved out.
If you want to go to Spain - go to Spain - one life and it is short. You WILL regret not going.
Friends come and go - real friends are always there in some format if not in person.
Perfectly normal...my best friend is my woman.
Just subbed, and we are right so far👍
Thanks man!
I have a select few friends at 49 Haven't really got 2nd tier friends as such. I have 4 I See, Some every so often and others nearly every week due to Motorcycle rides and meeting up on a Sunday Mornings in the Summer but not much in the winter, But still stay in touch with the odd text. But when we do meet up it's like we just carry on where we left off lol My life is my Wife and kids and my home where I love to be. My wife is my best friend and we love doing everything together from Gaming/Bike rides/Films/Days out etc I do love meeting up with a mate now and then but normally involves a drink and a meal like a bromance lol People are just who they're are. I was always the organizer and the first to reach out, If I didn't it would sometimes feel like I would never see them again. But when we do meet they're super happy we did. Looking back over the years they have always been like that. So more of a personality trait. With age/Work/Family/cost of going out/time, like me now pushing 50 I am knackered most of the time and happier just to stay in and avoid people lol
Much better to have a few close friends. The sort you cannot see for months and when you meet it’s like a day has passed.
I've considered leaving the UK for years for various reasons but it feels too much like cowardice to me. Surrendering my country that gave me so much because times are tough. Some of the reasons we are in this mess is because too many good, strong british people have left the UK and not enough native brits are having babies.
I've accumulated more friends as I've got older. It just depends on where you are, where you go out, where you work.
Mate im 41 ive been single for 5 years have no kids and only focus on myself,feels great.
It will wear off. You don't know what it is to be a man until you have a wife and children to protect, lead and provide for.
@bluemm2852 that's because I'm not a simp.And i have money and freedom plus im 41 so i hope it doesn't wear off now.
@bluemm2852 and how long do marriages last these days, before the Mrs takes the lot
@@jamie-hb8gy you are not a man you are a 41 year old child.
Try being 80 with absolutely no one mate. Having a child was the best thing I've ever done. Every day is amazing because I wake up to watching him grow, develop and making me laugh. I've been with my Mrs since we were 17 and we're so happy.
If that makes me a 'simp' then YEAH BABY!
I live for myself, i don't and never had many friends. I enjoy my life, i travel the world when i can. I had one friend up until 2021, i realised he was only a friend when it was convenient for him, so i pushed back from that.
I don't need to share what i do, because i do it for myself and nobody else.
If where you live isn't working out for you or is actively making you unhappy, move. Best friends/friends in general... well it's easy to think of it should work (lots of contact, etc.) But my best and long time friends rarely contact me. But I'm there for them when they need to talk or need help and vice versa. It's a real connection that doesn't constantly need prodded to stay active.
I think in the UK maybe it is normal. I'm 47, its my experience too. I find that its quite hard to make new friends in the UK. People work long hours, cost of living isnt exactly cheap and there is much less of a community feel than maybe there used to be. People have more stresses and i think naturally just withdraw to deal with those. I recently went travelling for 4 months and met so many new friends who i have stayed in touch with ever since who i regard as good friends. I dont think people in the UK are particularly receptive to just randomly making conversation and then meeting up. I think it feels weird? or is that just me. Just general life in the UK does not feel conducive to meeting new people. As i get older the draw of just going out drinking of spending a bunch of cash at a restaurant is not so strong these days. Can't we just hang out and have a chat anymore? 😂
I am 39 and was thinking this over Christmas, I didn't go out once with my mates. we all still interact via watts app groups. This makes it feel that we speak every day but haven't seen it each other 2-3 years. its strange
I know this might sound a bit sad, but here it goes anyway. I don’t have any close friends-not because I’m a recluse, but because I’m a deep thinker. I find it difficult to connect with people on the same intellectual or emotional level. I can handle the usual surface-level conversations, but honestly, I don’t find them fulfilling, so I don’t see the point in pursuing them.
That said, I do enjoy meeting and chatting with strangers, especially in places like the pub, where conversations can feel fresh and unstructured. Recently, I’ve started using AI for anything I’m curious about or need answers to, and to be honest, it’s been a game-changer. It’s helped me find clarity and answers to things I used to struggle with or get frustrated over. I’ve come to appreciate it as a way to engage deeply with topics that intrigue me, and I no longer feel the need to complain about not having access to information or meaningful insights.
On top of that, my family seem to only be happy when I’m miserable and complaining about something. It’s not like I complain for the sake of it-I only do it because I’m looking for help or support. But when I don’t get that, it just reinforces why I prefer seeking solutions on my own.