How is this talk amazing.? He is obviously insecure and nervous delivering his talk. It doesn't sound authentic. It sounds like he's reciting a poem. The delivery is stiff and stilted.
@@christinabier998 well its tough talking to a lot of people, but it could be just his way of speaking and your opinion of criticizing his speaking. But I think as long as you can understand, and if not, you may ask him questions if you have his contact information.
I get this so much. I’m constantly hit with anxiety and depressing thoughts for small reasons like waking up later than I intended to or studying less than I’d planned or weighing more than I want to. I’ve unrealistic goals for myself on a daily basis.
Alyssa Townsend losing 2-3 kilograms a week, waking up at 5 am after studying till 12 am, studying 4-5 units in a single day. Those are unrealistic goals. You need to expand your common sense.
This speaks to me so much. I was in the hospital due to depression for 7 weeks. The reason: My perfectionism. Always telling myself: There is more I can do. I need to be better. I need to get everything right the first time I try. Flaws are bad. I want to be perfect. I scored an A in one of my presentations, but I forgot the page number so everything is bad about it and I don't have the right to feel good. This was leading me to always be unhappy. Have high expectations of myself I could never ever meet. Was letting me think I was a total looser, when in fact, I was doing well. And even when everything was going well, I felt like ending everything. Perfectionism is indeed a horrible thing, when taking way too far.
Hi Rev i Thanks for sharing your story. I would like to ask you a couple of questions if you don't mind. What kind of treatment did you receive during your 7week stay in the Hospital and what did you feel like at Week 7? Did you mainly receive Psychiatric Help? Did they put you on Meds? Are you in North America or Europe? Meaning the Western part of the World? What age group are you? Teen, Young Adult or grown Up? I hope that things are better for you now. I'm glad for myself that I grew up before the Internet and Social Media. The pressures of High School, ones Image and fitting in were hard enough back in the day. Must be overwhelming sometimes nowadays. Thanks and best of luck.
@@pavledjordjevic2073 Puh that's a lot of questions, but I will try to answer them honest :) So I was in a hospital and the treatment was with different therapies. In one we were sitting in groups and talking about anxiety/depression or more selfcentered issues. Sport was a big part of it too. In edition there were also groups for gardening, being creative or working with wood. The last ones were to show people with depression that they still can be creative and productive (as I understood it). I'm in europe, Germany (Young adult myself) and in my hospital I was asked if I wanted to be put on meds, which I did for myself. In the start it was horrible: I was feeling sick and sleepy the whole time, but after the 2nd week I felt good again and had motivation to do stuff and be creative again. And on the 7nd week I felt excited but scared too. It was kind of like "going back to the outside world, where you're not shielded", but so far everything is going fine for me. I hope you're doing well too and this answered your questions :) Stay strong!
if you building a 100 foot skyscraper perfectionism is needed. Also in this day in age in social media you have to be perfect or some one will bring up something you said that was not perfect and lose your job.
@@MindlessTube The things you're talking about require persistence rather than perfection because you rarely get it right the first time! But if you persist, learn from failures and mistakes, correct them and try again, THEN you get the perfect result eventually!
@@MindlessTube there is no perfect skyscraper, thats why they enact safety skills and require maintenance and require people to know how the building works and what to do when it crumbles.
"Perfection is the Enemy of Progress" - Winston Churchill "Perfection is boring. Getting better is where all the fun is" - Dragos Roua Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections. A Beautiful Thing Is Never Perfect.
You can be content, but you will try to improve yourself because you are content to improve. And if not, you are still calm and content. The idea of adaptation in reality which should be shaped to be content.
This seems to be one of the pitfalls of social media, perfection is able to be posed online. Taking advantage of the insecurities of adolescents, by seeing only the positives in others lives. "They live such an amazing live" "They must be able to do so much more with their life" What social media fails to capture is the struggle that goes along with the prosperous moments of life. The moments where hard work is required, and how not everything comes easy. No one is perfect and that is okay!
It's not just adolescents. Adults suffer from insecurities as well. But the reason why young people are vulnerable to insecurities is because of the parental philosophy of "youth is innocence". Kids are literally barred from the real world at any chance. They're beaten or scolded for pointing out the flaws of the adult world, or having worldly desires. They're told nothing but fairy tales and positivity quotes. They're not allowed to differ or debate. Kids aren't innocent nor idealistic. Theyre naive, but innocent? Such thing is liability.
"Perfectionism" destroyed my ability to create. I'm getting better, but at my worst I was unable to complete projects and ended up abandoning them and losing thousands of pounds worth of work because I couldn't satisfy my own artistic goals within the deadlines I was allotted. I have no social perfectionist values, only artistic.
Its really easy to be perfectionist in today's world. Perseverance is great but perfectionism makes people unhappy. What we need to learn is accepentance, not just with others, but ourselves.
I absolutely loved & enjoyed this ted talk. Perfectionism like he said is a major problem and we need to help young people. I think we need to focus and be comfortable with doing our best than striving to be perfect. We are doing fine. ✨
It's good to see people are researching things that actually matter. I have been struggling with perfectionism and this opened my third eye. Thank you.
This TED Talk is very important for young people to see. The speaker is on point about unattainable expectations and image. Personally, I'm not a fan of social media platforms as I believe they lead to unhealthy notions.
This video is exactly what I need to hear/watch now. It’s crazy how perfection profoundly impacts our lives every single day, mainly nowadays on social media. I’m struggling with these feelings and thoughts. I also encourage you to struggle through these fears. Don’t cover yourself so much. You worth it. ✨
Damn, this is honestly by far the best TED talk I have ever seen. Totally on point, and pinpointed all the fundamental flaws existing right now. I need to do self-reflection.
The Boomers in their economic boom were telling generations after them that excellence would gain them success, but success would elude them even as they became good at their craft. Thus perfectionism became rampant with pursuits of an economic promise that will never come. "I'm not competent yet, if I perfect myself and craft I'll break even. I must surpass those ahead of me and not even they are perfect, they haven't even found success in their lives yet....yet."
Thank You, Thomas Curran for an exceptional and very needed look at perfection. You are so right ... we are not nor can we ever be "perfect" ... we come with flaws and we will forever have some sort of flaw ... regardless ... and yet ... if we focus in to tightly and forget, the beauty, in our lack of perfection and strive toward the unattainable we are bound to fail. Love & Peace to All
I resonate with this so well, I only recently started acknowledging how perfectionism had taken over my life and made me miserable. I've started letting go and refraining from always always thinking I should be or do better. I feel so much more fulfilled and happy with myself now.
i've watched lots of TEDx talks that made a temporary slight change..this one im pretty damn sure has changed the way I really think and surely ill come back for it later..great deep talk that i needed to hear..from Egypt thanQ
It's about my country , Japan XD Japanese keeps working very long for promotion , fee , reputation , responsebility , pressure etc. It seems to be that they live for work. Hard work results tiredness. Atmosphere in company is awful. If someone go home in time , coworkers complain about it. They monitor each other. I hope that society changes to accept various values.
Wow! This is profound for me. I’ve been dealing w/ this since childhood. This video just enlightened me to the fact that my being bullied as a child led me to try to be perfect. I thought, if I say the perfect thing, or I look the perfect way, I won’t be bullied. I’ve never realized until today how this has impacted me as an adult. This is really profound. Awesome video!
is this thomas curran who wrote lots of paper about perfectionism? it actually helped me as a perfectionist & helped me through my undergraduate thesis (it's one of my variable so i hope it helps lots of more people). this guy is a truly amazing!
We strive for perfection, but the problem is we are never quite perfect enough. This is the quote that got me. We really need to stop trying to be perfect.
The problem with perfectionism is that it does not tolerate imperfections. A perfectionist won't start eating right until he reads a ton of books about proper nutrition. Everything is important to them. Every milligram, every second, every calorie, the exact time of eating. They can’t even go to the store in peace, because it is important for them to know the expiration date, storage conditions, temperature in the store, cleanliness, whether they left the meat or milk at room temperature and then put it back in the refrigerator. This is all I am. Even when I was being treated, I was unconsciously doing something perfectly. You switch off and think. Breathing becomes uneven. It annoys you. You will either do it perfectly or not do it at all, leaving this matter until better times. Fight it
dragon I'm used to listening to tapes...yes cassette tapes, so having a pic' to look at is not the greatest. It can be distracting. I can't count the number of times I read in the comments section " His hair looks nice!" Or Her dress , ughhhh "
I didn’t catch much of what you were saying...I was too busy obsessing over your PERFECT hair, teeth and physique. Kidding. Your message is timely, and I will pass this video along to my son.
Amazing talk! It made me realize that I've been steadily building up my perfectionism since childhood with my obsession with grades, numbers, and social image and now that I'm in my quarter life, I've become susceptible and got hit by depression & anxiety. I kept on brooding on my past failures and threating myself strictly. Now I realize that my way of living isn't healthy. And letting go of this perfectionism isn't easy as it sounds. My progress is slow, but I hope I can loosen up more by trying my best to embrace the imperfect side of myself
@@Tali5899What- oh... I meant it as in a quarter of the average human lifespan. kinda refering to the period between age 18 -30 when ppl experience "quarter life crisis" and stuff.... it's not like I've already planned on how long I live or when Imma end myself or something lmao
It took me long before realising that perfectionism was a flaw. I'm now conscious that it's one of my greatest problems and it is seriously affecting my life. Being a perfectionist, I'm always waiting for something better to come while I'm not taking the time to enjoy the present moment. By doing so, I'm living a miserable life where I always feel like I'm not enough. Sometimes, I'd prefer not to exist at all because I feel that I'll never be able to meet the requirements of others/society. But somehow I know that this way of thinking is wrong since I have to live for myself. I really hope that I'll be able to get over perfectionism and stop being a master procrastinator! I wish same to people who are in a similar situation💛
Damn! I wanted to write the most profound comment but I just kept deleting it as it didn’t make me stand out😕 or look extremely intelligent. Did anybody else have this happen?
Nothing inherently wrong with perfectionism, it’s just that most people have it backwards. We should seek perfection in the moment, but learn to appreciate the imperfections of the end results. It’s like the aesthetic principles of Wabi-Sabi: all things are by nature imperfect, impermenant, and incomplete. But by understanding, accepting, and embracing this nature, we are able to appreciate the perfect imperfectness in all things.
I actually wrote out about three paragraphs responding to this, and then deleted it all because I didn't think it was perfect enough (the irony is not lost on me). I think a big point that you miss is that, the problem isn't so much that people are obsessed with perfection, the problem is that as a society, we have convinced ourselves that we are 100% in control of the outcomes of our lives, or that if we aren't, we should be. The problem isn't that we strive for perfection, that is a healthy attitude to have, the problem is that we actually believe that we can control if we get it. We will never be able to control every variable in our lives, so we will never be able to control our outcomes the way we have programmed ourselves to believe that we can. The problem isn't our need for perfection, it is our need for control.
I have one bad mark at school. It is from a subject that i will not even need in future. But i can not stop thinking about what i can do to make it better. It just is in my head, all the time. 😑
I have this so bad, I’m really trying to change but it’s so difficult. I have destroyed my social life to be a better student and I thought it would be a good move but I have realised the effects of my actions now that I have crippling anxiety and ocd. Please stay away from these kinds of behaviours, it will only ruin you. Be grateful with what you have in life, even if it’s not much or not ideal.
Notice that he is not claiming that there's unambiguous evidence for perfectionism causing mental illness. Why? Correlation is not causation, and it is more likely that the increase in mental illness is a product of past underdiagnoses. We diagnose more due to increased awareness of mental illness.
But he did say that? He said that perfectionism leads to those kinds of mental issues, like depression and anxiety, which again leads to increased risk of suicide.
Also, increased rates of suicide cannot be explained by a higher awareness of the issues. And suicide rates are astronomically high in comparison to any other time period. How to explain that?
Demanding perfection of others is also what makes us give up on people in government who are overall doing a good job, and we end up voting for people like Doug Ford who are dismantling everything good about Ontario.
America is the leader in this movement. The straight a student who is good at all sports and is also good at art and is a maths whizz , who overcomes adversity as easily as mere mortals flush the toilet. They have beautiful eyes, a killer smile and light up every room. I exccelled academically but im hopeless at team sports, i cant draw or sketch to save my life and thats fine. People are told they can achieve anything if they work hard, THere is always a price and when you consider how short life is, is it worth it? Getting joy from everyday is more important than constantly striving and never enjoying the fruits of labour, living in a state of discontentment. Feeling like a perennial failure is the worst feeeling , you want to just be erased, you feel even eternal life is too good for you.
jriden I don’t believe there is a right or left there is only one side and it’s the corporations behind almost all politicians these days. But I also like to think that America still is a beacon for many around the world. Elon Musk for example said “I remember thinking and seeing that America is where great things are possible, more than any other country in the world”
I am a perfectionist. I love it!!!! I hold everyone to godly morals and values. I love a clean home and am proud to be perfect. This isn’t a disease if you don’t obsess. (Making mistakes isn’t a failure of perfection. Sin is!)
The next generation might benefit from a mindset acknowledging that People who are in your immediate proximity are by far the most relevant and important. Social engagement is just an old-school browser!
In this world, perfection can't be achieve. It's like trying to repair something that is bound to always break, you'll spend so much time and never become content of it's state. We should be content and accept what/who you have/are instead of seeking perfection. That's the first step to improve yourself in every way
The pitfall of digital social life + real life. One of my favorite quotations is "If you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target." So, if you want to reach it, you loose! Reliable assiduity (with diligence) is a better, more healthier goal.
His point about my generation spending more maybe relevant. But on the other hand, we are most likely borrowing more as a reflection of the house prices and income level.
Cost of living is getting out of control, while the labor market is the most competitive it's ever been because so many people your age actually go to college, in turn making it harder to stand out. Then if you wanna go the alternate route and start a small business, you have it even harder because everything has already been built or done better and longer by someone else or is controlled by big business. I don't envy young people these days at all.
There are less and less children blessed with unconditional support from their parent. I was roasted everytime I didn't meat the expectation, my friends the same. Our parents are like "You failed therefore you are a failure". And it goes beyond that, to the extreme level where the pressure may come from unmatched conditional expectation, take for instance the following phrase "If you did it would be better if you didn't do it because you would do it incorrectly". The world is full of unsponsered children, that's a shame because if a parent don't believe in his child before his attitude is formed (more or less around the age of 7), then the child will be condemned to life to suffer of the fear of not being able to match expectation.
yes! it is you trying to control everything... because at some time in your life, you probably had lost control over something important! Response to Trauma? maybe
Very interesting, the pressure to be perfect can feel overwhelming. But it is important to maintain an authentic self. Authenticity = Contentment No to Perfectionism!
this man is so right yet he won't be heard as its not the people that lead but big companies world leaders and they all share this sickness ! now let's talk on how to fix that !
“Perfection is antithesis of authenticity” - by far my favorite quotation.
amazing talk.
Alyssa Townsend dead people are our ascended masters, not all ... but the ones I choose to quote are ... some truths simply transcend time.
Alyssa Townsend very true, we live in different times, can’t ignore that. ⭐️
Alyssa Townsend Wisdom is wisdom, no matter who said it. Of course, we have to choose what applies to our lives, but that’s true in general.
How is this talk amazing.? He is obviously insecure and nervous delivering his talk. It doesn't sound authentic. It sounds like he's reciting a poem. The delivery is stiff and stilted.
@@christinabier998 well its tough talking to a lot of people, but it could be just his way of speaking and your opinion of criticizing his speaking. But I think as long as you can understand, and if not, you may ask him questions if you have his contact information.
I get this so much. I’m constantly hit with anxiety and depressing thoughts for small reasons like waking up later than I intended to or studying less than I’d planned or weighing more than I want to.
I’ve unrealistic goals for myself on a daily basis.
I really understand what you mean...
Moon Child I feel you!!!
Yes. It is vexing and it takes a huge emotional toll.
Alyssa Townsend losing 2-3 kilograms a week, waking up at 5 am after studying till 12 am, studying 4-5 units in a single day. Those are unrealistic goals.
You need to expand your common sense.
I really feel you!
"Nobody's perfect" and "Close enough is good enough." Two very useful mottoes from my growing up.
This speaks to me so much. I was in the hospital due to depression for 7 weeks. The reason: My perfectionism.
Always telling myself: There is more I can do. I need to be better. I need to get everything right the first time I try. Flaws are bad. I want to be perfect. I scored an A in one of my presentations, but I forgot the page number so everything is bad about it and I don't have the right to feel good.
This was leading me to always be unhappy. Have high expectations of myself I could never ever meet. Was letting me think I was a total looser, when in fact, I was doing well. And even when everything was going well, I felt like ending everything.
Perfectionism is indeed a horrible thing, when taking way too far.
Hi Rev i
Thanks for sharing your story. I would like to ask you a couple of questions if you don't mind.
What kind of treatment did you receive during your 7week stay in the Hospital and what did you feel like at Week 7?
Did you mainly receive Psychiatric Help? Did they put you on Meds?
Are you in North America or Europe? Meaning the Western part of the World?
What age group are you? Teen, Young Adult or grown Up?
I hope that things are better for you now. I'm glad for myself that I grew up before the Internet and Social Media. The pressures of High School, ones Image and fitting in were hard enough back in the day. Must be overwhelming sometimes nowadays.
Thanks and best of luck.
yes SKREW PERFRECTIONISM! yey to errors! :D
@@pavledjordjevic2073
Puh that's a lot of questions, but I will try to answer them honest :)
So I was in a hospital and the treatment was with different therapies. In one we were sitting in groups and talking about anxiety/depression or more selfcentered issues. Sport was a big part of it too. In edition there were also groups for gardening, being creative or working with wood. The last ones were to show people with depression that they still can be creative and productive (as I understood it).
I'm in europe, Germany (Young adult myself) and in my hospital I was asked if I wanted to be put on meds, which I did for myself. In the start it was horrible: I was feeling sick and sleepy the whole time, but after the 2nd week I felt good again and had motivation to do stuff and be creative again. And on the 7nd week I felt excited but scared too. It was kind of like "going back to the outside world, where you're not shielded", but so far everything is going fine for me.
I hope you're doing well too and this answered your questions :) Stay strong!
I really love how he sounds very sincere and humble, yet highlights the things we have to perceive differently.
Perfection is a scam, persistence is the way to go for achieving great things! 🌞
if you building a 100 foot skyscraper perfectionism is needed. Also in this day in age in social media you have to be perfect or some one will bring up something you said that was not perfect and lose your job.
@@MindlessTube The things you're talking about require persistence rather than perfection because you rarely get it right the first time! But if you persist, learn from failures and mistakes, correct them and try again, THEN you get the perfect result eventually!
And mindfulness
WOW
@@MindlessTube there is no perfect skyscraper, thats why they enact safety skills and require maintenance and require people to know how the building works and what to do when it crumbles.
Yes! Finally linking mental illnesses to perfectionist.
"Perfection is the Enemy of Progress" - Winston Churchill
"Perfection is boring. Getting better is where all the fun is" - Dragos Roua
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.
A Beautiful Thing Is Never Perfect.
I don’t agree. Those with problems are toxic.
Perfectionism is bad but also i wouldnt quote winston churchill of all people lmao
@@theartzscientist8012 Problems seem to be a part of life, maybe its about maturity and how to face them :]
@@LuckInklusiv I’ve always been mature since I was young. Some are old souls.
*If you look for perfection, you'll never be content*
That's the bottom line.
You can be content, but you will try to improve yourself because you are content to improve. And if not, you are still calm and content. The idea of adaptation in reality which should be shaped to be content.
This seems to be one of the pitfalls of social media, perfection is able to be posed online. Taking advantage of the insecurities of adolescents, by seeing only the positives in others lives. "They live such an amazing live" "They must be able to do so much more with their life" What social media fails to capture is the struggle that goes along with the prosperous moments of life. The moments where hard work is required, and how not everything comes easy. No one is perfect and that is okay!
It's not just adolescents.
Adults suffer from insecurities as well.
But the reason why young people are vulnerable to insecurities is because of the parental philosophy of "youth is innocence". Kids are literally barred from the real world at any chance. They're beaten or scolded for pointing out the flaws of the adult world, or having worldly desires.
They're told nothing but fairy tales and positivity quotes.
They're not allowed to differ or debate.
Kids aren't innocent nor idealistic. Theyre naive, but innocent?
Such thing is liability.
THATS WHY PRACTICE DOESN'T MAKE PERFECT IT MAKES IMPROVEMENT WE ARE ALWAYS IMPROVING THINK ABOUT IT
Jorge Burrito Practice makes Progress 😊
"Perfectionism" destroyed my ability to create. I'm getting better, but at my worst I was unable to complete projects and ended up abandoning them and losing thousands of pounds worth of work because I couldn't satisfy my own artistic goals within the deadlines I was allotted.
I have no social perfectionist values, only artistic.
Same here
true im struggling with this too...
Me too
thats true...
Damn! He looks so perfect.
Wrong, look at back teeth more closely....only near perfect
😂
Lol. He sounds nervous
relieved that I am not the only one distracted by his handsome look, and British accent.
Its really easy to be perfectionist in today's world. Perseverance is great but perfectionism makes people unhappy. What we need to learn is accepentance, not just with others, but ourselves.
This is probably the best tedtalk I've ever heard.
I absolutely loved & enjoyed this ted talk. Perfectionism like he said is a major problem and we need to help young people. I think we need to focus and be comfortable with doing our best than striving to be perfect. We are doing fine. ✨
It's good to see people are researching things that actually matter. I have been struggling with perfectionism and this opened my third eye. Thank you.
Third eye? Is that the one constantly clogged with fecal matter?
@@n4d3m4gn3t yours quite obviously is.
This TED Talk is very important for young people to see. The speaker is on point about unattainable expectations and image. Personally, I'm not a fan of social media platforms as I believe they lead to unhealthy notions.
This video is exactly what I need to hear/watch now.
It’s crazy how perfection profoundly impacts our lives every single day, mainly nowadays on social media. I’m struggling with these feelings and thoughts. I also encourage you to struggle through these fears.
Don’t cover yourself so much. You worth it. ✨
Damn, this is honestly by far the best TED talk I have ever seen. Totally on point, and pinpointed all the fundamental flaws existing right now. I need to do self-reflection.
The Boomers in their economic boom were telling generations after them that excellence would gain them success, but success would elude them even as they became good at their craft.
Thus perfectionism became rampant with pursuits of an economic promise that will never come.
"I'm not competent yet, if I perfect myself and craft I'll break even. I must surpass those ahead of me and not even they are perfect, they haven't even found success in their lives yet....yet."
A perfect mess...is what we've created.
Peggy Harris Indeed so !!! 😂
Completely agree
Perfectly wrote 😂
Thank You, Thomas Curran for an exceptional and very needed look at perfection. You are so right ... we are not nor can we ever be "perfect" ... we come with flaws and we will forever have some sort of flaw ... regardless ... and yet ... if we focus in to tightly and forget, the beauty, in our lack of perfection and strive toward the unattainable we are bound to fail. Love & Peace to All
I resonate with this so well, I only recently started acknowledging how perfectionism had taken over my life and made me miserable. I've started letting go and refraining from always always thinking I should be or do better. I feel so much more fulfilled and happy with myself now.
perfection is leading simple life
not trying to be other
always be yourself
you are unique
Lol
Lol
This spoke to me. Thank you for the upload.
Was good to hear this, thank you sir.
Functionality is more important than perfectionism. If it works, then it does not have to be perfect.
This is a great talk - really insightful and speaks a lot of truth about today's culture.
Highly recommended, especially for young people.
Thanks TED!
i've watched lots of TEDx talks that made a temporary slight change..this one im pretty damn sure has changed the way I really think and surely ill come back for it later..great deep talk that i needed to hear..from Egypt thanQ
It's about my country , Japan XD
Japanese keeps working very long for promotion , fee , reputation , responsebility , pressure etc.
It seems to be that they live for work.
Hard work results tiredness.
Atmosphere in company is awful.
If someone go home in time ,
coworkers complain about it.
They monitor each other.
I hope that society changes to accept various values.
It should be the problem of comparison...
Wow. This is quintessential comment
Wow! This is profound for me. I’ve been dealing w/ this since childhood. This video just enlightened me to the fact that my being bullied as a child led me to try to be perfect. I thought, if I say the perfect thing, or I look the perfect way, I won’t be bullied. I’ve never realized until today how this has impacted me as an adult. This is really profound. Awesome video!
I love this talk. I came here after listening to Thomas at Hidden Brain podcast.
Amazing! Especially your concluding remarks. Thank you.
is this thomas curran who wrote lots of paper about perfectionism? it actually helped me as a perfectionist & helped me through my undergraduate thesis (it's one of my variable so i hope it helps lots of more people).
this guy is a truly amazing!
We strive for perfection, but the problem is we are never quite perfect enough. This is the quote that got me. We really need to stop trying to be perfect.
Should be required viewing for all,,,great presentation
The problem with perfectionism is that it does not tolerate imperfections. A perfectionist won't start eating right until he reads a ton of books about proper nutrition. Everything is important to them. Every milligram, every second, every calorie, the exact time of eating. They can’t even go to the store in peace, because it is important for them to know the expiration date, storage conditions, temperature in the store, cleanliness, whether they left the meat or milk at room temperature and then put it back in the refrigerator. This is all I am. Even when I was being treated, I was unconsciously doing something perfectly. You switch off and think. Breathing becomes uneven. It annoys you. You will either do it perfectly or not do it at all, leaving this matter until better times. Fight it
Awesome topic amazingly put
me before watching:adjusts cover perfectly and cleans screen dots
@Mega Mgtow Now clean it up lmao
dragon I'm used to listening to tapes...yes cassette tapes, so having a pic' to look at is not the greatest. It can be distracting.
I can't count the number of times I read in the comments section
" His hair looks nice!" Or Her dress , ughhhh "
Thank you so so much, this speech means A LOT to me.
I didn’t catch much of what you were saying...I was too busy obsessing over your PERFECT hair, teeth and physique. Kidding. Your message is timely, and I will pass this video along to my son.
Amazing talk! It made me realize that I've been steadily building up my perfectionism since childhood with my obsession with grades, numbers, and social image
and now that I'm in my quarter life, I've become susceptible and got hit by depression & anxiety. I kept on brooding on my past failures and threating myself strictly. Now I realize that my way of living isn't healthy. And letting go of this perfectionism isn't easy as it sounds. My progress is slow, but I hope I can loosen up more by trying my best to embrace the imperfect side of myself
kiko6968 what's your 'quarter life'?? Wouldn't that depend on how long you're planning to live?
@@Tali5899What- oh...
I meant it as in a quarter of the average human lifespan. kinda refering to the period between age 18 -30 when ppl experience "quarter life crisis" and stuff....
it's not like I've already planned on how long I live or when Imma end myself or something lmao
Best Ted talk ever seen🔥💯
It took me long before realising that perfectionism was a flaw. I'm now conscious that it's one of my greatest problems and it is seriously affecting my life.
Being a perfectionist, I'm always waiting for something better to come while I'm not taking the time to enjoy the present moment. By doing so, I'm living a miserable life where I always feel like I'm not enough. Sometimes, I'd prefer not to exist at all because I feel that I'll never be able to meet the requirements of others/society.
But somehow I know that this way of thinking is wrong since I have to live for myself. I really hope that I'll be able to get over perfectionism and stop being a master procrastinator!
I wish same to people who are in a similar situation💛
Damn! I wanted to write the most profound comment but I just kept deleting it as it didn’t make me stand out😕 or look extremely intelligent. Did anybody else have this happen?
all coments are not perfect by its own nature .. all words.. this world ...
Damn ism
LOL
Lol
Relatable
Profound, people need to hear this message
The greatest enemy to good, is the insistence on perfection.
Nothing inherently wrong with perfectionism, it’s just that most people have it backwards. We should seek perfection in the moment, but learn to appreciate the imperfections of the end results.
It’s like the aesthetic principles of Wabi-Sabi: all things are by nature imperfect, impermenant, and incomplete. But by understanding, accepting, and embracing this nature, we are able to appreciate the perfect imperfectness in all things.
He looks like a Roman sculpture.
Good Ted Talk!
amaaaaazing talk! thanks for this
Some people are dangerously obsessed with telling me what to do and blaming me when they should be concerned with themselves.
I actually wrote out about three paragraphs responding to this, and then deleted it all because I didn't think it was perfect enough (the irony is not lost on me). I think a big point that you miss is that, the problem isn't so much that people are obsessed with perfection, the problem is that as a society, we have convinced ourselves that we are 100% in control of the outcomes of our lives, or that if we aren't, we should be. The problem isn't that we strive for perfection, that is a healthy attitude to have, the problem is that we actually believe that we can control if we get it. We will never be able to control every variable in our lives, so we will never be able to control our outcomes the way we have programmed ourselves to believe that we can. The problem isn't our need for perfection, it is our need for control.
smileyeagle1021 I did the same thing and asked if anyone else had the same problem. You’re most certainly not alone!
I have one bad mark at school. It is from a subject that i will not even need in future. But i can not stop thinking about what i can do to make it better. It just is in my head, all the time. 😑
I have this so bad, I’m really trying to change but it’s so difficult. I have destroyed my social life to be a better student and I thought it would be a good move but I have realised the effects of my actions now that I have crippling anxiety and ocd. Please stay away from these kinds of behaviours, it will only ruin you. Be grateful with what you have in life, even if it’s not much or not ideal.
I have OCD and my need for things to be perfect all the time is exhausting for me..i have to tell myself daily that perfection is not necessary. ❤
good luck! 🍀
all the best wishes for you to get better
This was a very good talk :)
A perfect message...
This needs millions of views
Notice that he is not claiming that there's unambiguous evidence for perfectionism causing mental illness. Why? Correlation is not causation, and it is more likely that the increase in mental illness is a product of past underdiagnoses. We diagnose more due to increased awareness of mental illness.
Are you saying there is no perfect diagnosis? ;) ;)
Its a very flawed speech, not comfortable with the entire premise.
But he did say that? He said that perfectionism leads to those kinds of mental issues, like depression and anxiety, which again leads to increased risk of suicide.
Also, increased rates of suicide cannot be explained by a higher awareness of the issues. And suicide rates are astronomically high in comparison to any other time period. How to explain that?
Makes think a lot, Ill definitely share it with some people
wow. amazing.
great video
Man I love this
this video explains what happened to me very well..
I agree 100% college has me constantly wondering why I put a lot more study time in something than other people- only to achieve the same grade😅
Thx q so much
Does anyone know where I could read his research? If I'm not mistaken it's a cohort study?
Demanding perfection of others is also what makes us give up on people in government who are overall doing a good job, and we end up voting for people like Doug Ford who are dismantling everything good about Ontario.
America is the leader in this movement. The straight a student who is good at all sports and is also good at art and is a maths whizz , who overcomes adversity as easily as mere mortals flush the toilet. They have beautiful eyes, a killer smile and light up every room. I exccelled academically but im hopeless at team sports, i cant draw or sketch to save my life and thats fine. People are told they can achieve anything if they work hard, THere is always a price and when you consider how short life is, is it worth it? Getting joy from everyday is more important than constantly striving and never enjoying the fruits of labour, living in a state of discontentment. Feeling like a perennial failure is the worst feeeling , you want to just be erased, you feel even eternal life is too good for you.
The American dream is a wonderful driver for innovation, effort and ability. It’s what made America what it is today.
THE AMERICAN PATRIOT You almost got me, and then I remembered it was April Fools. Good one!
Dylan K. No I meant every word. Why would it be a joke ? The ideals that helped build one of the greatest countries in the world is no small thing.
jriden I don’t believe there is a right or left there is only one side and it’s the corporations behind almost all politicians these days. But I also like to think that America still is a beacon for many around the world. Elon Musk for example said “I remember thinking and seeing that America is where great things are possible, more than any other country in the world”
I am a perfectionist. I love it!!!! I hold everyone to godly morals and values. I love a clean home and am proud to be perfect. This isn’t a disease if you don’t obsess. (Making mistakes isn’t a failure of perfection. Sin is!)
Ty ted
Perfection distracts us from our goal or from learning new things.
From INDIA
It’s because there is so much competition in the very widely expanded range of social dominance hierarchies, no?
Prefiction is also my problem. It makes me fell sad and ı always fell depressed and ı think there is not any solition to fix it
The next generation might benefit from a mindset acknowledging that
People who are in your immediate proximity are by far the most relevant and important.
Social engagement is just an old-school browser!
In this world, perfection can't be achieve. It's like trying to repair something that is bound to always break, you'll spend so much time and never become content of it's state. We should be content and accept what/who you have/are instead of seeking perfection. That's the first step to improve yourself in every way
Anyone else finding it ironic that perfectionism is now seen as a flaw in people 🤔
The pitfall of digital social life + real life. One of my favorite quotations is "If you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target." So, if you want to reach it, you loose! Reliable assiduity (with diligence) is a better, more healthier goal.
Well said
in the end to achieve things you need to strive for perfection.
Nice
Perfectionists have a fixed mindset....whereas we should have a growth mindset
A PERFECT presentation ironically
His point about my generation spending more maybe relevant. But on the other hand, we are most likely borrowing more as a reflection of the house prices and income level.
Cost of living is getting out of control, while the labor market is the most competitive it's ever been because so many people your age actually go to college, in turn making it harder to stand out. Then if you wanna go the alternate route and start a small business, you have it even harder because everything has already been built or done better and longer by someone else or is controlled by big business. I don't envy young people these days at all.
There are less and less children blessed with unconditional support from their parent.
I was roasted everytime I didn't meat the expectation, my friends the same. Our parents are like "You failed therefore you are a failure".
And it goes beyond that, to the extreme level where the pressure may come from unmatched conditional expectation, take for instance the following phrase "If you did it would be better if you didn't do it because you would do it incorrectly".
The world is full of unsponsered children, that's a shame because if a parent don't believe in his child before his attitude is formed (more or less around the age of 7), then the child will be condemned to life to suffer of the fear of not being able to match expectation.
I read his book, well worth it.
Perfectionism is insecurity.
Your Favorite Lifecoach
Do you think that that's all there is to it? It may be a bit more complicated than that
yes! it is you trying to control everything... because at some time in your life, you probably had lost control over something important! Response to Trauma? maybe
Came here by taking the Reference from Natasha devon's book
i bet this perfect toning and speech was prepared with anxiety of making it SO perfect LoL
Feeling
I like his ears
Strong Goals Loosely Held - Alex Honnold
Perfectionism is like trying to run in a dream. You get nowhere and feel like everyone else is perpetually accelerating away from you.
Am i the only one who really likes this guy's accent?
Very interesting, the pressure to be perfect can feel overwhelming.
But it is important to maintain an authentic self.
Authenticity = Contentment
No to Perfectionism!
"Everything short of perfection is irrelevant!"
"Imperfection must be reshaped. YOU must be reshaped!"
this man is so right yet he won't be heard as its not the people that lead but big companies world leaders and they all share this sickness ! now let's talk on how to fix that !