My sister was terminally ill and made us swear not to spend money on a funeral (she threatened to haunt 😄). She was taken from home to the crematorium, and we all had a picnic in her favorite botanical garden as a memorial. It was lovely.
I love how practical Simon is. Diamonds are a rip off, don't buy them. Funerals are a rip off, don't do them. Homie is out here being the most logical man I know.
Diamonds are a ripoff, they are not at all rare and the tragedies around conflict diamonds make it necessary to search for the more rare conflict free diamond.
@@lunaticgaming7967 its not because of materialism.....just simon has a left leaning viewership and most left leaning people already know these clear and obvious facts 🤷♂️
Weird fun fact: Experts actually CAN tell a synthetic diamond from a real diamond in many cases because ... synthetic diamonds have less inclusions and better clarity. So they're, um, , even BETTER than the real thing.
@@shawbros nah, bro, just get your high quality and cheaper diamonds, and then don't show them to experts. OR tell everyone to buy synthetic diamonds to get higher quality and cheaper and more ethical gems!
@@shawbros I'm going to be the person to take this too seriously :). It's an economy of scale thing. You could set up a process to make tens of thousands of identical cheap diamonds - which will then be identifiable, because those properties would go onto a 'fake diamond' register. If you set up a process and only create one, unique, diamond, that would (currently) still be more expensive than digging one out of the ground.
I feel like Simon could do an episode with a title like "I Did This For The Money" and just have 20 minutes of ad reads and he'd still get tens of thousands of views.
The channel Ask A Mortician has done quite a few videos on how to do a "budget" funeral and how to avoid getting severely uncharged on caskets or other services, and even how to do the simplest no frills funeral for only a few hundred dollars with no shame from them. They're big advocates for making the experience your family's own and not bankrupting yourself. It's quite refreshing to hear a funeral home director advocating for sensible expenses and not getting a $10,000 you're going to toss in the ground or even cremate. She'd agree with basically everything you and Danny are saying here.
When my dad died in 1996 the funeral director when my father was first taken told me to shop around because there is a big markup in funeral service. He said his family can’t afford to have his funeral where he works, it’s that expensive. I priced out a cremation service using that funeral home, then went shopping around. The quote I got was $1500 for a basic service and no urn. What I wound up buying elsewhere was an urn, cremation, transport and 3 day’s storage for $765. The service was free/$100 donation by my stepmom to the pastor at the church they got married in back in ‘82. In short, that guy saved this broke young Marine a ton of cash I didn’t have.
As an artist (fine art photographer), the reason why restaurants sells artwork because it's a chance for us unknown artists to get our names out there and for the restaurant to have new art every 1-2 months (artist shows are normally 1-2 months). If the art is shown on the walls, there is also probably a public showing at some point during the month to meet the artist. It really works. I've gotten jobs this way.
The best thing is watching Blazer Simon creeping out in all the other videos he makes for the non- tongue in cheek channels. I dunno what the TIFO or Top10z audience thinks when Simon busts out a WHOOOA! and then says something untowards right in the middle of a Biographix of Anne Frank, ALLEGEnDLY.
My mom worked as an accountant in a funeral store, she told me these people were insane. Like they would really make you feel like if you loved him/her then surely they were worth the more expensive casket.
The person in the box is dead. What do they care how fancy the box is? Doubly so if the body and box will be cremated. When my mom died my family asked about just using a nice pine box. The funeral director looked at us as if we were mad. Why not use pine? Fast to grow, cheap, and my mom loved going for walks in pine forests. Funerals are a scam.
A side note, my place of employment sells lots and lots of less expensive pine boxes as well as cardboard 'cremation ' containers. Funerals are for the bereaved, not for the deceased.
Funeral Director: “Did he have requests for arrangements?” Simon’s bereaved widow: texts youtube link to “Insanely Overpriced Products II” on Business Blaze
Two observations regarding CDs vs cassettes or Vinyl. 1) I worked in the UK in the 1990s and also spent time in Italy. The price of CDs in Europe was easily double what it was in Canada where they were priced competitively with vinyl. 2) I'm pretty sure one of the main reasons it took an unexpectedly long time for the sales of CDs to surpass the sale of cassettes is that it took a long time for cars to have CD players instead of cassette players and for the price of portable CD players to become competitive with that of the innumerable Walkman knock-off tape players.
My husband wants cremated and his ashes mixed with cement and used to make a brick, so he can still be useful after he's dead. He says he doesn't care if we use him as a doorstop or a paperweight or if we build him into something, he just wants to keep being helpful, and stick around the family.
Fun fact, you can find inexpensive coffins online. We did this when my grandmother passed. The funeral home had to drop their price by $7,000 or we were ordering the same one online (with free shipping). They weren't happy, but funeral homes prey on emotions so f@*k them!
I pranked a snob acquaintance of mine (friend of a friend) who bragged about extremely refined and expensive tastes. After over a year of listening to his crap, I took him to a friends restaurant to have a gourmet dessert. After he raved about the taste of the flaming scoop of ice cream with flecks of gold and he paid $120.00 for it. I informed him that it was generic ice cream with a capful of Goldshlager poured over it and lit on fire. Basically, under a dollar... He, thankfully, never spoke to me again. Still, it is a great dessert.
I truly don't understand this trend. Also, I've been to Serendipity III a number of times--20 or more years ago. They had the art for sale, but I don't recall any of those high-priced desserts on the menu. I could be wrong, but I suspect that they probably began offering them relatively recently due to this INANE TREND.
I feel like there are certain videos where Simon has been working ALL day, has had a few cocktails, has zero f--ks left to give, & reads whatever he's handed by Danny. I love these videos. :) Don't ever stop.
Omg I actually learned about business in a business blaze??? This feels wrong. How dare you explain fixed cost to me- I demand another 15 minute intro 😂
The art for sale at restaurants and cafes are usually to help artists sell their art. It's not the restaurant making all the money. This is a great way to have your art displayed and for sale at the same time. As an artist, I don't see an issue with it!
I got the stickers ages ago it just postage to my country us expensive so the postage for stickers was cheaper , then 2 weeks later simon says dont buy the stickers hahaha anway they are on my laptop with my fact fiend sticker
@@crazymusicchick find image of sticker > right click > save image as > insert sticky backed photo paper in printer > instant delivery and *taps head**
Futurama style, don't die, get frozen when you get defrosted that $1.32 you had left in the bank has turned into 7 billion dollarydoos. Omg I'm so glad you did a bit on diamonds, I've been telling people for years that diamonds are artificially inflated and there are actually warehouses full of them and the cartels only release so many at a time to keep the prices inflated. THANK YOU Simon.
I chuckled when you mentioned diamond engagement rings. My girlfriend got a £30 moonstone and silver ring off Etsy (because she likes moonstone) which she loves, and found a silver wedding which also cost around £30. The most expensive ring was my titanium and gold one which cost around £60, all in all the rings for our wedding cost me less than 1 week's wages!
I felt the same way when he grew the beard several years ago. What's it been, 5 years? Jesus, the time has just flown by. But pre- beard Simon was way more timid and when he allowed the barbarian out I knew it was just a matter of time before the looting and pillaging would start.
Simon your singing has improved massively!!! It's a delight to hear your voice come from the upper half of your body, instead of the lower. Kudos to your vocal coach!!!!
As the funeral pyre burned, the crackle of flames was drowned out by the wailing and tearing of clothes as millions of fans watched the live-streamed funeral of Simon Whisler. Whether by good fortune or not, he had touched millions with his stoicism and occasional coke-fueled dad jokes. Into the frame walked two burly men with horned helmets dragging a gaunt man with wig on his head in a hastily done attempt to make him look like a woman. “Why do I have to be put on the pyre?! I still got time left!” “Because,” the Fake Vikings said, “Simon needs a script writer in the afterlife.” And as they chucked him onto the pyre to be burnt to a crisp, the name “Salter” for some reason reminded the viewers how hungry they were and they went to find potato chips.
On god. This had better happen. Also, wailing precedes another man, and a small white heating device clutched tightly in his hands, obscuring an Allegendly hooded sweatshirt that is torn and stained to be nearly unrecognizable. " Why are you making me a Spanish Joan of Arc?" He whimpers and convulsively hugs ETA. " I'm just a video editor." The roaring fans cheer in full throated approval as ETA and Sam are thrown upon the pyre. " They are the holy Trinity of Content! May they send us back to this side their new efforts when we collectively get so high hallucinations are inevitable and they break through the veil!" And then we eat the chips. 😤😂
I bet he could have different tiers considering artificial price inflation is covered in the video. They could literally just say their prices. "This sticker cost $25" "This sticker cost $500" Then you go to supreme's business model and only sell a certain number of each sticker.
lol @ the memorial benches, just reminded me that my dad knew a super rich guy who left a ton of his money to a charity without knowing that for every “so-many” dollars they’d do a bench for u in this park, n it turned out the amount he left bought him something like 200 benches in one not-so-big park 😂 luckily when it came down to it they decided to just make a dozen or so really nice benches and honor him in some other way, but for some time it was considered that they might just flood this park with lines of benches along every walkway 🤣
“Today I found Out” - Informative. “Mega Projects” - Eye Opening. “Top Tens” - Interesting. “Business Blaze” - Absolutely Hilarious, informative, eye opening, interesting and brilliant ! Love the full on no f**ks given channel! And OG jokes rain solid!
A paupers burial in the states uses a felt covered and lined cardboard casket. A steel vault covers the casket then you get buried. You CAN rent a show casket during the ceremony and be transferred over. Go cheap. You won't know the difference.
@@briancrawford8751 And let's be real, this is why funeral directors can charge so much. I mean sure there's also exploiting people in emotional distress, but there are plenty of people who are just watching Grandma die and are totally prepared for it to happen and just want to get that shit out of the way once she finally kicks it.
@@erraticonteuse Oh, I know. My father wants to be cremated and doesn't want a service, so I'm going to have the Veteran's Administration pay for it. So, his funeral will be free.
@@briancrawford8751 We did that with my grandfather last year! He had Alzheimer's, so we were _really_ just watching this guy die. The VA was great, it was super efficient, almost literally a drive-thru funeral.
There's a bizarre culinary trend among rich foodies in New York and New England for "Butter ice cream with lobster pieces" its a heavily butter based ice cream served over chunks of lobster meat. It's started to spread to other expensive restaurants.
Fun fact - I'm opposed (for lots of reasons) to diamonds etc, so my fiancé was a bit worried about how to get me an engagement ring that wouldn't be upsetting. I said find a second hand one with our birth stones. He found 3, I couldn't choose one but because it's so much cheaper to buy used I now have all 3.
My friends grandma had a white ruby. The stupid little thing was $25,000. She was SUPER happy that the rest of the family has thought it was JUST a diamond and didn't want it.
I personally love the look of rubies or emeralds more than diamonds. Nice deep colours contrasting against the gold or silver. Do I own any, no, but I do like the look of them lol
Simon: when I die I want to be frozen Also Simon: I don’t even want to waste the money on a coffin Do you know how much it costs your family to keep your corpse frozen?
Suppose they kept you with the Covid virus vaccines at 70 below zero or they kept you where they keep the frozen hot chocolate then you could just sit in the corner
Its actually surprisingly affordable, and I'd establish a trust or something to keep the payments going so my family can't defrost me and play with my head.
I was actually listening to this while packing the shirts of my grandfather who passed a couple of weeks ago and yeah, funerals are a total rip off. SO glad that he took care of the arrangements beforehand.
Many years in the future, Simon's daughter will be doing cocaine at her father's funeral. When asked about it, she'll respond "it's what my father would have wanted. "
The way it really works is the deceased is placed in a cardboard box for the actual cremation and the casket is sent back to be re-sold. Burning the casket with the deceased would vastly increase the time and cost of every cremation and prevent the casket being re-sold. Just rent a casket if you're planning a funeral then cremation.
Scrolls through subscription box on lunch break Oohh! Business blaze! I’ll watch that! 6 seconds in my staff all think I’m dying because I forgot to turn down the volume. Thanks man
got my fiance a sapphire engagement ring. as soon as we started talking about getting married, we agreed not to do a diamond ring. It basically cost less than a month's rent salary, and I make pennies. I got my tax refund and COVID check at the same time, so it was an easy buy.
Diamonds are bullshit. Did you know, the space shuttle's windows were made out of lab created sapphires? A sapphire is really just transparent aluminium oxide (Al₂O₃).
I think there's a business model in replacing iPhone screens with thin sapphire sheets and then you'd never need to worry about cracked screens ever again.
I would have loved a different stone other than diamond but my synthetic diamond was $80- much less than any "real" stone out there. Still there's something so cool about wearing a non diamond ring.
@@maryvon8518 got it off of Jewelry by Joan. I don't even think they sell diamond jewelry. Great customer service, looks a lot nicer, and not too expensive. They do jewelry with things like dino bone, meteorite, and wood
Simon mentioned home funerals. Here's one for you, from my uncle's friend. This happened roughly 40 years ago. Family was poor. Dad dies. Home made coffin/casket. Hand dug grave in family graveyard. Dad was also a pretty hefty guy so while carrying the coffin it broke and Dad fell out. It gets better. The grave was too small and it was starting to rain. So instead of trying to find a shovel her brothers got on top of the coffin and started bouncing up and down to try and force it into the hole. She ended by saying they don't understand why she quit talking to them after that.
The main reason CDs were marketed as 'indestructable' was that they did not wear out during playback, unlike vinyl and mylar ribbon, which often did. (I have a cassette tape collection to prove it!)
YOU DON'T REMEMBER TAPES?! I was born in 1987 and I used to record songs from the radio and sit, at the ready, to jab the stop record button so as to not have a snippet of ads in my "mixtape."
Allegedly, some people are legends, and they purch the merch while they hang out calling each other blaze bois. Allegedly I now want Simon to get absolutely rat-arsed and read my eulogy when I finally cark it, it'd be worth popping me clogs just for my family to sit in horror as he reads from a script written by Danny, with memes playing on a screen behind him from Sam, and then halfway through Simon launches into an advert for squarespace, and the icing on the cake is it all ending with a Rick roll. Allegedly.
Simon: "SIRI! How much is a Coffin?!" Siri: "Where is my friend? Where is ETA?" Simon: "Siri! Answer the F*king question or I'm not just gonna be replacing Danny!"
Simon should make a channel where he does his videos drunk. I don't care what the subject is. Have Danny write the script and then get Simon trashed before he hits record and starts reading.
I'm 2 years younger than Simon and I have a memory of buying a cassette album in Woolworths so there was definitely cassettes still around. Though I think I lived in a poorer area than Simon in England
Didn't one of "the Big Bang theory" characters buy ring that was made with industrial diamonds so it was way cheaper than buying one with jewellery ones?
I'd rather have moisenite. It's more brilliant than a diamond and cheaper and it's practically star dust. Do you want a fossil or stardust? I also grew up in AZ where it was discovered so I'm a little biased.
The cost is part of the reason I like green burials. You pay for the shroud and for the plot but because you decompose in a few years you only pay off the plot once and there's lot f beautiful greenery growing thanks to all the nutrients from the decomposing corpses. I have thought that if I had enough money to buy some property I would make it into 5-10 fields having 2 of them being filled with bodies while the others grow trees, then cut down the trees for lumber and shift fields so new trees grow for a few decades on the last burial fields. Rinse and repeat. Sustainable, profitable, and you could always change your plans a bit if you end up needing more space for bodies. Oh and have nice benches so family can still sit in the groves where their loved ones were buried even while the trees grow.
And the fact that it's so so much more symbolic and beautiful. I want to be buried in a grove of ash trees like a symbolic phoenix. So that when the world burns, my ashes will rest in the embers among the ashes. Kinda neat idea.
@@garethbaus5471 Of course. There's a lot of red tape involved in the disposal of corpses. I think most states require someone to be licensed to even transport corpses.
If you enjoy coffins, caskets and funerals, you should really do a colab with Caitlin From Ask A Mortician!! She is amazing: funny, enthusiastic and keen on giving people education so they can do what they want with burials etc. In cheaper and less dangerous (for the environment and morticians!) ways. If you just read this and went and found her channel to enjoy: you are welcome!!
Yes, but you need to preapply AND pay a funeral home for transport of the body to their facility for pickup by the institution accepting the donation. (Handled this for my mother less than a year ago. She had been registered for over ten years, and we still needed to confirm acceptance of the body.) However, it WAS less than the cost of any other option (based on the price quotes given by multiple sources at the time).
I've been thinking about going that way myself - just need to make sure my mortal remains won't wind up being blown up for military "research" like that one woman.
@@daradelle3665 My mother did this back in 1988 when she died from renal cell carcinoma. At her last hospitalization she called up the military hospital's legal office and told them what she wanted, and about 10 minutes later a sergeant came up with a briefcase full of forms. So, she and the sergeant made out the necessary forms, and I witnessed them. She had wanted to send herself to the University of California, Davis medical school, which was close to where we lived at the time, and we were told by the hospice people from a local hospital to make alternate arrangements, so my dad did. However, because my mother's cancer was a rare subtype, the medical school definitely wanted her, and a hearse came to pick her up the day she died at home.
OMG, Sam, that courtship progression from mix tapes to d1ck pics got a legit spit take when it popped up. *chef's kiss* I've been through them all. The cd mixes were my favorite.
Born in 96 and in the area I live tapes were still used up until 2005-2010 and still to this day it wouldn't be out of the norm to get in an older car with someone playing a cassette tape haha. CDs were a thing I remember seeing in stores, but usually a small assortment of tapes beside them. Some kids still had portable CD players well after 2010. Crazy how different areas live in somewhat time capsules for 10-20 years behind most others, and at the same time people living modernly alongside in these same areas. Shows how much wealth can distort reality for some families.
The very top of the Washington Monument is capped by an aluminum pyramid. It has been struck by lightning innumerable times and has been replaced several times as it melted from the heat of the lightning strike. When first envisioned, aluminum was chosen as it was rarer then gold.
If you buy a new vinyl it comes with a digital download code nowadays so you have the digital copy and the option to make a CD if you want. So essentially you're getting everything for one price.
SImon Whistler, the person you never expect to see, yet the man is in every freaking video out there. Stahp, just stahp simon. Why are you on my feed again? I already follow like 29846287356432 of your channels man xD
PS Ask A Mortician is a very very good channel runned by a funeral director who educates about good death and good post mortum practices. She stands for eco friendly and cheaper funerals options. :)
I can't believe Sam didn't use the opportunity to show the perfect clip in the intro: "The Big Lebowski", when Walter says "Just because we're bereaved, doesn't make us saps!"
Pastors at literally every funeral: I didn't know (enter name here) personally but I can tell they were a good, loved person by the amount of loved ones in front of me.
When my ex's grandfather died in Karamea NZ - a little coastal town with one road access - It was about a 3 hour round trip and going to cost a shit load to get him picked up by the local funeral directors in the next town, so his son wrapped him in a sheet, sat him up and put his seatbelt on and off he went to deliver him. Legend.
I have similar grand ideas about my remains. I've come to find it's really difficult to get the permission to execute on them though...or really expensive.
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Cheap funerals. Com is a thing in the USA
Best time of the week!
Too bad you didn't get sqaurespace to sponser the aids/hiv video it would hace been too perfect 😂🤣
anyone can do a grand imitation of Yoko if they're hit in the pecans hard enough
My sister was terminally ill and made us swear not to spend money on a funeral (she threatened to haunt 😄). She was taken from home to the crematorium, and we all had a picnic in her favorite botanical garden as a memorial. It was lovely.
She sounded a great and funny person. My condolences for your loss.
Your sister is a legend❗️
She was both. I appreciate that. Thank you.
Naw how sweet. Sister sounds awsome x
Absolute legend.
I love how practical Simon is. Diamonds are a rip off, don't buy them. Funerals are a rip off, don't do them. Homie is out here being the most logical man I know.
I wish more people chose not to have funerals. Then you wouldn't feel obligated to go to them.
@@luckydog73718 this is hilarious but a little fucked up LMFAO
It's a shame this only got so few likes. People are too material...
Diamonds are a ripoff, they are not at all rare and the tragedies around conflict diamonds make it necessary to search for the more rare conflict free diamond.
@@lunaticgaming7967 its not because of materialism.....just simon has a left leaning viewership and most left leaning people already know these clear and obvious facts 🤷♂️
"I am gone but you're still here so here's a place to rest your rear." - bench memorial
I love it lol
Weird fun fact: Experts actually CAN tell a synthetic diamond from a real diamond in many cases because ... synthetic diamonds have less inclusions and better clarity. So they're, um, , even BETTER than the real thing.
Just make the synthetic diamonds with a few more inclusions, then voila, Debeers becomes obsolete.
@@shawbros nah, bro, just get your high quality and cheaper diamonds, and then don't show them to experts. OR tell everyone to buy synthetic diamonds to get higher quality and cheaper and more ethical gems!
@@shawbros I'm going to be the person to take this too seriously :). It's an economy of scale thing. You could set up a process to make tens of thousands of identical cheap diamonds - which will then be identifiable, because those properties would go onto a 'fake diamond' register. If you set up a process and only create one, unique, diamond, that would (currently) still be more expensive than digging one out of the ground.
Tbh kind of cool how a natural diamond is made vs a lab regardless of quality.
Yes
I feel like Simon could do an episode with a title like "I Did This For The Money" and just have 20 minutes of ad reads and he'd still get tens of thousands of views.
If he's joking and Danny writes some of it, yeah definitely 😂
@@stephjovi absolutely, with Sam interjecting memes or short clips of people screaming.
@@graylinshowell7051 perfect Business Blaze video
... I’d watch that...
I think you've just given Simon a very lucrative idea 😂. Business Blaze legends will watch everything.
The channel Ask A Mortician has done quite a few videos on how to do a "budget" funeral and how to avoid getting severely uncharged on caskets or other services, and even how to do the simplest no frills funeral for only a few hundred dollars with no shame from them. They're big advocates for making the experience your family's own and not bankrupting yourself. It's quite refreshing to hear a funeral home director advocating for sensible expenses and not getting a $10,000 you're going to toss in the ground or even cremate. She'd agree with basically everything you and Danny are saying here.
I love her channel!
When my dad died in 1996 the funeral director when my father was first taken told me to shop around because there is a big markup in funeral service. He said his family can’t afford to have his funeral where he works, it’s that expensive. I priced out a cremation service using that funeral home, then went shopping around. The quote I got was $1500 for a basic service and no urn. What I wound up buying elsewhere was an urn, cremation, transport and 3 day’s storage for $765. The service was free/$100 donation by my stepmom to the pastor at the church they got married in back in ‘82. In short, that guy saved this broke young Marine a ton of cash I didn’t have.
"Use that 1000 pounds, go after a really nice meal. It's on me."
Somehow, I imagined Simon's family literally eating on top of his coffin.
As an artist (fine art photographer), the reason why restaurants sells artwork because it's a chance for us unknown artists to get our names out there and for the restaurant to have new art every 1-2 months (artist shows are normally 1-2 months). If the art is shown on the walls, there is also probably a public showing at some point during the month to meet the artist. It really works. I've gotten jobs this way.
Business Blaze is quickly becoming my favorite of your channels Simon
It became my favorite as soon as I found it haha
SIMP!!!
Favourite channel on RUclips, SimonTube
Welcome to the club of crazys.
The best thing is watching Blazer Simon creeping out in all the other videos he makes for the non- tongue in cheek channels. I dunno what the TIFO or Top10z audience thinks when Simon busts out a WHOOOA! and then says something untowards right in the middle of a Biographix of Anne Frank, ALLEGEnDLY.
My mom worked as an accountant in a funeral store, she told me these people were insane. Like they would really make you feel like if you loved him/her then surely they were worth the more expensive casket.
fuck that.
The person in the box is dead. What do they care how fancy the box is? Doubly so if the body and box will be cremated. When my mom died my family asked about just using a nice pine box. The funeral director looked at us as if we were mad. Why not use pine? Fast to grow, cheap, and my mom loved going for walks in pine forests.
Funerals are a scam.
This is frowned upon where I am. NOT a good fiduciary relationship.
A side note, my place of employment sells lots and lots of less expensive pine boxes as well as cardboard 'cremation ' containers.
Funerals are for the bereaved, not for the deceased.
@@CatsMeowPaw we used a cardboard box for my moms cremation. She would have hated us to spend more than the absolute minimum.
* Simon screaming at the start* Are we talking about Yoko Ono again?
My thoughts exactly
@@Sledgeace Came here to post that.
Damn, I came here to say this
😄
I thought it would be Axl Rose, but then I remembered that Simon doesn't know who he is.
Funeral Director: “Did he have requests for arrangements?”
Simon’s bereaved widow: texts youtube link to “Insanely Overpriced Products II” on Business Blaze
There is a reason why funeral home directors charge so much; they never have repeat customers
Maybe if they'd offer some sort of type of Return Policy, they might get more business. 😉
@@robertaviles8451 what's sad is people will fall for that if its offered I'm sure
BA DA BUM BUM TSHSHSHHSHSHSHS
They can have, if the same family buries another member... their customer is actually the one who pays for the whole thing.
My family has buried 2 members with one funeral home...
Two observations regarding CDs vs cassettes or Vinyl.
1) I worked in the UK in the 1990s and also spent time in Italy. The price of CDs in Europe was easily double what it was in Canada where they were priced competitively with vinyl.
2) I'm pretty sure one of the main reasons it took an unexpectedly long time for the sales of CDs to surpass the sale of cassettes is that it took a long time for cars to have CD players instead of cassette players and for the price of portable CD players to become competitive with that of the innumerable Walkman knock-off tape players.
My husband wants cremated and his ashes mixed with cement and used to make a brick, so he can still be useful after he's dead. He says he doesn't care if we use him as a doorstop or a paperweight or if we build him into something, he just wants to keep being helpful, and stick around the family.
That's so cute!
So if they drop him & it cracks a little would that be "a chip off the old block?"
@@danl6634 or it would be evidence that Dad is finally cracking up...
So I recently have been thinking about this more and that might be the best solution yet.
Fun fact, you can find inexpensive coffins online. We did this when my grandmother passed. The funeral home had to drop their price by $7,000 or we were ordering the same one online (with free shipping). They weren't happy, but funeral homes prey on emotions so f@*k them!
I pranked a snob acquaintance of mine (friend of a friend) who bragged about extremely refined and expensive tastes. After over a year of listening to his crap, I took him to a friends restaurant to have a gourmet dessert. After he raved about the taste of the flaming scoop of ice cream with flecks of gold and he paid $120.00 for it. I informed him that it was generic ice cream with a capful of Goldshlager poured over it and lit on fire. Basically, under a dollar... He, thankfully, never spoke to me again. Still, it is a great dessert.
Worth every cent to never hear from some people again.
Best part is, the bit with the gold in it is the dregs of the bottle, everybody's drank out of that bottle!
Get rid of an obnoxious prick outta your life for under a $1... Well played sir well played 👍
What's goldsshlager ? X
I truly don't understand this trend. Also, I've been to Serendipity III a number of times--20 or more years ago. They had the art for sale, but I don't recall any of those high-priced desserts on the menu. I could be wrong, but I suspect that they probably began offering them relatively recently due to this INANE TREND.
I feel like there are certain videos where Simon has been working ALL day, has had a few cocktails, has zero f--ks left to give, & reads whatever he's handed by Danny.
I love these videos. :) Don't ever stop.
Omg I actually learned about business in a business blaze??? This feels wrong. How dare you explain fixed cost to me- I demand another 15 minute intro 😂
"Forced artificial scarcity, otherwise known as FARTS"
Me too
@@PalmelaHanderson I thought that was Fathers Against Rude Television 😂
Warning: business blaze may include occasional subliminal messaging on irrelevant topics like business
The art for sale at restaurants and cafes are usually to help artists sell their art. It's not the restaurant making all the money. This is a great way to have your art displayed and for sale at the same time. As an artist, I don't see an issue with it!
*Watches intro clip* Okay, he's going to mention Yoko Ono at some point then.
Sounded just like her
@@janetmyers2371 I reckon a little bit better, actually
A whistler, a salter, and a Sam walk into a bar...
Surprise, It's a basement!
*Door slams shut
*Whistling grows fainter accompanied by footsteps
Sorry kids, you can eat tomorrow. I just picked up a business Blaze sticker.
I got the stickers ages ago it just postage to my country us expensive so the postage for stickers was cheaper , then 2 weeks later simon says dont buy the stickers hahaha anway they are on my laptop with my fact fiend sticker
According to business blaze at that point you sell the kids for food.
@@crazymusicchick find image of sticker > right click > save image as > insert sticky backed photo paper in printer > instant delivery and *taps head**
Btw sorry don't block me Simon..
I know the fakes aren't the same as the real thing of course, paying for the flex and prestige
Futurama style, don't die, get frozen when you get defrosted that $1.32 you had left in the bank has turned into 7 billion dollarydoos. Omg I'm so glad you did a bit on diamonds, I've been telling people for years that diamonds are artificially inflated and there are actually warehouses full of them and the cartels only release so many at a time to keep the prices inflated. THANK YOU Simon.
We need to do a business blaze around Christmas being inspired by pagan traditions. You going off on a tangent would be comic gold.
In Sweden it is still called Jul the pre christianity name :D
I chuckled when you mentioned diamond engagement rings. My girlfriend got a £30 moonstone and silver ring off Etsy (because she likes moonstone) which she loves, and found a silver wedding which also cost around £30.
The most expensive ring was my titanium and gold one which cost around £60, all in all the rings for our wedding cost me less than 1 week's wages!
Simon: Randomly screams in intro.
OG Viewers: Oh, we're talking about Yoko Ono today.
@Andrew Harper I see what you did there...
😖 🎤
Great way to get the truth from someone -
Tie them to a chair, and put Yoko Ono's album on loop until they crack!
ALLEGEDLY 😉
The speculum accompanying the inside look line almost made me choke on my coffee.
Ive seen everyone of these, now I can hardly take TopTenz seriously
I felt the same way when he grew the beard several years ago. What's it been, 5 years? Jesus, the time has just flown by. But pre- beard Simon was way more timid and when he allowed the barbarian out I knew it was just a matter of time before the looting and pillaging would start.
Simon your singing has improved massively!!! It's a delight to hear your voice come from the upper half of your body, instead of the lower. Kudos to your vocal coach!!!!
As the funeral pyre burned, the crackle of flames was drowned out by the wailing and tearing of clothes as millions of fans watched the live-streamed funeral of Simon Whisler. Whether by good fortune or not, he had touched millions with his stoicism and occasional coke-fueled dad jokes.
Into the frame walked two burly men with horned helmets dragging a gaunt man with wig on his head in a hastily done attempt to make him look like a woman.
“Why do I have to be put on the pyre?! I still got time left!”
“Because,” the Fake Vikings said, “Simon needs a script writer in the afterlife.”
And as they chucked him onto the pyre to be burnt to a crisp, the name “Salter” for some reason reminded the viewers how hungry they were and they went to find potato chips.
Nathan Cassidy 🤣🤣😆😆🤣🤣
I sure hope Daniel Salter sees this so he knows his fate that is coming
LOL you're an artist dude!
Potato Crisps!
On god. This had better happen. Also, wailing precedes another man, and a small white heating device clutched tightly in his hands, obscuring an Allegendly hooded sweatshirt that is torn and stained to be nearly unrecognizable. " Why are you making me a Spanish Joan of Arc?" He whimpers and convulsively hugs ETA. " I'm just a video editor."
The roaring fans cheer in full throated approval as ETA and Sam are thrown upon the pyre. " They are the holy Trinity of Content! May they send us back to this side their new efforts when we collectively get so high hallucinations are inevitable and they break through the veil!"
And then we eat the chips. 😤😂
Does anyone else think that combining diamonds and ice cream sounds like a chocking hazard that would have been covered up quickly?
Reminds me of the TV series OZ....killing a man by adding crushed glass to his spaghetti.
We need a sticker that just says, "This sticker costs too much."
I bet he could have different tiers considering artificial price inflation is covered in the video. They could literally just say their prices. "This sticker cost $25"
"This sticker cost $500"
Then you go to supreme's business model and only sell a certain number of each sticker.
There is a “don’t buy the stickers” sticker 😂
@@Fight4Faulkner Perfect!
With "#BusinessBlaze"
I appreciate the banner on the bottom during the sponsor ad part- because it makes it really easy for me to skip past it.
I feel like you missed an opportunity to collab with Caitlin Doughty on the funeral industry.
She is such an awesome person IRL too, Simon would have enjoyed it!
I half expected Sam to insert a clip of "Hayden's head"
@@MAashChick Yes, I too was expecting a Bentham's Head pop-out
@@Malaphor That's so cool that you had the opportunity to encounter her IRL.
Good call! I second that.
lol @ the memorial benches, just reminded me that my dad knew a super rich guy who left a ton of his money to a charity without knowing that for every “so-many” dollars they’d do a bench for u in this park, n it turned out the amount he left bought him something like 200 benches in one not-so-big park 😂 luckily when it came down to it they decided to just make a dozen or so really nice benches and honor him in some other way, but for some time it was considered that they might just flood this park with lines of benches along every walkway 🤣
Business Blaze needs to sell monogrammed blazer jackets.
The “Business Blazer”🤡
I never thought about a bench. Thanks Simon, that’s honestly the most useful information I got from this video
LOL, when you started going on about Memorial benches, Monty Pythons "Sit on my face and tell me that you love me" started running thru my head.
“Today I found Out” - Informative.
“Mega Projects” - Eye Opening.
“Top Tens” - Interesting.
“Business Blaze” - Absolutely Hilarious, informative, eye opening, interesting and brilliant ! Love the full on no f**ks given channel! And OG jokes rain solid!
A paupers burial in the states uses a felt covered and lined cardboard casket. A steel vault covers the casket then you get buried. You CAN rent a show casket during the ceremony and be transferred over. Go cheap. You won't know the difference.
If there's one thing society abhors, it's a rotting corpse. You're going to get disposed of somehow, so don't worry about it.
@@briancrawford8751 And let's be real, this is why funeral directors can charge so much. I mean sure there's also exploiting people in emotional distress, but there are plenty of people who are just watching Grandma die and are totally prepared for it to happen and just want to get that shit out of the way once she finally kicks it.
@@erraticonteuse Oh, I know. My father wants to be cremated and doesn't want a service, so I'm going to have the Veteran's Administration pay for it. So, his funeral will be free.
@@briancrawford8751 We did that with my grandfather last year! He had Alzheimer's, so we were _really_ just watching this guy die. The VA was great, it was super efficient, almost literally a drive-thru funeral.
Concrete vault.
Omg Sam, the picture for the "inside look" comment at 17:27ish... pure gold. 👌😂😂😂😂😂
Business Blaze stickers- more of a status symbol than a Rolex, a Lamborghini, and a private jet put together
Oh hells yes!!!
Gout
Simon: Family, please dont waste my money on my funeral...
Family: Wait what? Did you not notice our investment in pig farms??
If someone puts caviar in my ice cream they're gonna get punched for such blasphemy.
Right, only chocolate chips!!! Fuck caviar
No blasphemy is eating a chicken omelette!
There's a bizarre culinary trend among rich foodies in New York and New England for "Butter ice cream with lobster pieces" its a heavily butter based ice cream served over chunks of lobster meat.
It's started to spread to other expensive restaurants.
@@medes5597 I'm not disliking your comment...I'm disliking the thought of this abomination. Neither ice cream nor lobster deserve this!! 🤢
And don't put ice cream in my caviar either
Fun fact - I'm opposed (for lots of reasons) to diamonds etc, so my fiancé was a bit worried about how to get me an engagement ring that wouldn't be upsetting. I said find a second hand one with our birth stones. He found 3, I couldn't choose one but because it's so much cheaper to buy used I now have all 3.
My friends grandma had a white ruby. The stupid little thing was $25,000. She was SUPER happy that the rest of the family has thought it was JUST a diamond and didn't want it.
I personally love the look of rubies or emeralds more than diamonds. Nice deep colours contrasting against the gold or silver. Do I own any, no, but I do like the look of them lol
Simon: when I die I want to be frozen
Also Simon: I don’t even want to waste the money on a coffin
Do you know how much it costs your family to keep your corpse frozen?
Suppose they kept you with the Covid virus vaccines at 70 below zero or they kept you where they keep the frozen hot chocolate then you could just sit in the corner
Its actually surprisingly affordable, and I'd establish a trust or something to keep the payments going so my family can't defrost me and play with my head.
Maybe start a gofundme and offer a perk of a single game of football (American Soccer) with your head at the $1000 mark
@@acepilot1 let’s not lose our heads over this project allegedly
I was actually listening to this while packing the shirts of my grandfather who passed a couple of weeks ago and yeah, funerals are a total rip off. SO glad that he took care of the arrangements beforehand.
Many years in the future, Simon's daughter will be doing cocaine at her father's funeral.
When asked about it, she'll respond "it's what my father would have wanted. "
Or pull a Keith Richards and snort some of the ashes
@@bonniea8189 why not a mix of the two, then?
10:10 - Chapter 1 - Diamonds are not forever
17:35 - Mid roll ads
20:00 - Chapter 2 - A rich desert
25:00 - Chapter 3 - Compact discs
Do a blaze on the funeral industry as if your life depended on it, I am dying to see it
And collab with Caitlin Doughty on it
@@bonniea8189 yes!! I wanna see how that goes.
BA DA BUM BUM TSHSHSHSHHSS
I can imagine Simon’s bench reading ‘In Memory of Simon - Sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends’
And it’ll be engraved in Comic Sans.
"I don't really care that much, because I'm dead" That pretty much sums up my opinion on the subject.
Me: Baby's going to sleep, I'll watch some business blaze, it's usually pretty chill.
Business Blaze: We're starting this episode with shrieking!
Just remember - there will always be “fun” in “funeral”.
Wait, you guys found out im fucking the corpses during funerals? FUCK!
And laughter in slaughter
I hope there's a party when I die...
Coke(cocaine) in Coke(soda)?
@@reload2893 I'd totally chug a can to see what happens.
The way it really works is the deceased is placed in a cardboard box for the actual cremation and the casket is sent back to be re-sold. Burning the casket with the deceased would vastly increase the time and cost of every cremation and prevent the casket being re-sold. Just rent a casket if you're planning a funeral then cremation.
The blazeist of business moves is Simon shit talking the stickers so they sell more😂
I love the stickers lol
Him shit talking the stickers makes me want to buy them
Simon = master of reverse psychology.
It's my little capitalist heart in action.
24:14 The "hot dog" is priceless XD Simon you lovely madman.
Scrolls through subscription box on lunch break
Oohh! Business blaze! I’ll watch that!
6 seconds in my staff all think I’m dying because I forgot to turn down the volume.
Thanks man
“There’s an inside look” - thank you for the simultaneous burst of laughter and cringe 🤣
Not the sort of inside look RUclips would be terribly comfortable with.
Cringe. Cringe. Cringe.
Also hilarious.
A great channel for info, and history, of funerals and death practices is Ask A Mortician. She's fantastic.
@@samarnadra 💀💀💀
Fellow deathling!
I like her channel!
3:25 *spends my only laugh of the month on laughing in clinical depression*
got my fiance a sapphire engagement ring. as soon as we started talking about getting married, we agreed not to do a diamond ring. It basically cost less than a month's rent salary, and I make pennies. I got my tax refund and COVID check at the same time, so it was an easy buy.
Diamonds are bullshit. Did you know, the space shuttle's windows were made out of lab created sapphires? A sapphire is really just transparent aluminium oxide (Al₂O₃).
I think there's a business model in replacing iPhone screens with thin sapphire sheets and then you'd never need to worry about cracked screens ever again.
I would have loved a different stone other than diamond but my synthetic diamond was $80- much less than any "real" stone out there. Still there's something so cool about wearing a non diamond ring.
@@maryvon8518 got it off of Jewelry by Joan. I don't even think they sell diamond jewelry. Great customer service, looks a lot nicer, and not too expensive. They do jewelry with things like dino bone, meteorite, and wood
I do remember sapphires for my dad vinyls. Tiny little pointy things at the end of the needle.
Simon mentioned home funerals. Here's one for you, from my uncle's friend. This happened roughly 40 years ago. Family was poor. Dad dies. Home made coffin/casket. Hand dug grave in family graveyard. Dad was also a pretty hefty guy so while carrying the coffin it broke and Dad fell out.
It gets better.
The grave was too small and it was starting to rain. So instead of trying to find a shovel her brothers got on top of the coffin and started bouncing up and down to try and force it into the hole.
She ended by saying they don't understand why she quit talking to them after that.
The chief advantage of Casette was that you could record content without paying a king's ransome for the recording machine
The main reason CDs were marketed as 'indestructable' was that they did not wear out during playback, unlike vinyl and mylar ribbon, which often did. (I have a cassette tape collection to prove it!)
YOU DON'T REMEMBER TAPES?! I was born in 1987 and I used to record songs from the radio and sit, at the ready, to jab the stop record button so as to not have a snippet of ads in my "mixtape."
Damnit Sam I completely forgot about that “that’s a 10” meme until you used it back to back and now I can’t stop laughing
Allegedly, some people are legends, and they purch the merch while they hang out calling each other blaze bois. Allegedly
I now want Simon to get absolutely rat-arsed and read my eulogy when I finally cark it, it'd be worth popping me clogs just for my family to sit in horror as he reads from a script written by Danny, with memes playing on a screen behind him from Sam, and then halfway through Simon launches into an advert for squarespace, and the icing on the cake is it all ending with a Rick roll. Allegedly.
Simon: "SIRI! How much is a Coffin?!"
Siri: "Where is my friend? Where is ETA?"
Simon: "Siri! Answer the F*king question or I'm not just gonna be replacing Danny!"
#BringETAback
NO! We need Danny in the basement...who else would make the basement a home?
Simon should make a channel where he does his videos drunk. I don't care what the subject is. Have Danny write the script and then get Simon trashed before he hits record and starts reading.
ur so weird
Danny, just a few minutes later in the script: An ordinary coffin will set you back about a grand.
I'm 2 years younger than Simon and I have a memory of buying a cassette album in Woolworths so there was definitely cassettes still around. Though I think I lived in a poorer area than Simon in England
Diamonds are one of the biggest marketing scams ever.
One of the most common gemstones on the planet earth. Yet people don't bother to check out how common they are.
My synthetic diamond is just under a carat and cost $80.
I decided awhile ago that if I ever have a reason to purchase gemstones, none of them will be diamonds.
Didn't one of "the Big Bang theory" characters buy ring that was made with industrial diamonds so it was way cheaper than buying one with jewellery ones?
I'd rather have moisenite. It's more brilliant than a diamond and cheaper and it's practically star dust. Do you want a fossil or stardust? I also grew up in AZ where it was discovered so I'm a little biased.
Happy holidays!! Simon Whistler ✌✌👍👍!!!!! Love your channels
The cost is part of the reason I like green burials. You pay for the shroud and for the plot but because you decompose in a few years you only pay off the plot once and there's lot f beautiful greenery growing thanks to all the nutrients from the decomposing corpses. I have thought that if I had enough money to buy some property I would make it into 5-10 fields having 2 of them being filled with bodies while the others grow trees, then cut down the trees for lumber and shift fields so new trees grow for a few decades on the last burial fields. Rinse and repeat. Sustainable, profitable, and you could always change your plans a bit if you end up needing more space for bodies. Oh and have nice benches so family can still sit in the groves where their loved ones were buried even while the trees grow.
And the fact that it's so so much more symbolic and beautiful. I want to be buried in a grove of ash trees like a symbolic phoenix. So that when the world burns, my ashes will rest in the embers among the ashes. Kinda neat idea.
Also for an extra fee you could help out a friend to dispose of some pesky nuisance bodies... Allegedly.
@@mormornie Excellent idea.
I wonder if there is some sort of licensing needed for this.
@@garethbaus5471 Of course. There's a lot of red tape involved in the disposal of corpses. I think most states require someone to be licensed to even transport corpses.
If you enjoy coffins, caskets and funerals, you should really do a colab with Caitlin From Ask A Mortician!! She is amazing: funny, enthusiastic and keen on giving people education so they can do what they want with burials etc. In cheaper and less dangerous (for the environment and morticians!) ways.
If you just read this and went and found her channel to enjoy: you are welcome!!
My solution is the cheapest one available: Donate your body to science.
That's actually harder than you'd think. They have strict requirements for that.
Yes, but you need to preapply AND pay a funeral home for transport of the body to their facility for pickup by the institution accepting the donation. (Handled this for my mother less than a year ago. She had been registered for over ten years, and we still needed to confirm acceptance of the body.)
However, it WAS less than the cost of any other option (based on the price quotes given by multiple sources at the time).
@@daradelle3665 Do you know how your mother pre-applied?
I've been thinking about going that way myself - just need to make sure my mortal remains won't wind up being blown up for military "research" like that one woman.
@@daradelle3665 My mother did this back in 1988 when she died from renal cell carcinoma. At her last hospitalization she called up the military hospital's legal office and told them what she wanted, and about 10 minutes later a sergeant came up with a briefcase full of forms. So, she and the sergeant made out the necessary forms, and I witnessed them. She had wanted to send herself to the University of California, Davis medical school, which was close to where we lived at the time, and we were told by the hospice people from a local hospital to make alternate arrangements, so my dad did. However, because my mother's cancer was a rare subtype, the medical school definitely wanted her, and a hearse came to pick her up the day she died at home.
OMG, Sam, that courtship progression from mix tapes to d1ck pics got a legit spit take when it popped up. *chef's kiss* I've been through them all. The cd mixes were my favorite.
The unlit SW neon sign makes me sad.
Born in 96 and in the area I live tapes were still used up until 2005-2010 and still to this day it wouldn't be out of the norm to get in an older car with someone playing a cassette tape haha. CDs were a thing I remember seeing in stores, but usually a small assortment of tapes beside them. Some kids still had portable CD players well after 2010. Crazy how different areas live in somewhat time capsules for 10-20 years behind most others, and at the same time people living modernly alongside in these same areas. Shows how much wealth can distort reality for some families.
I also think a bench somewhere lovely is a legendary memorial 🏞
The very top of the Washington Monument is capped by an aluminum pyramid. It has been struck by lightning innumerable times and has been replaced several times as it melted from the heat of the lightning strike. When first envisioned, aluminum was chosen as it was rarer then gold.
To answer some of the questions related to funerals ask a mortician. She is very good
Hello deathling ❤️
Came here to say this! I love that channel
DEATHLINGS REPRESENT ⚰️💀⚱️☠️
Here for the speculum shoutout. That's at least two vids now with that thing in it.
I literally forgot what this video was about by the time he finished the "intro"
If you buy a new vinyl it comes with a digital download code nowadays so you have the digital copy and the option to make a CD if you want. So essentially you're getting everything for one price.
Woohoo! Thank you Simon. My body is ready for this sequel
SImon Whistler, the person you never expect to see, yet the man is in every freaking video out there. Stahp, just stahp simon. Why are you on my feed again? I already follow like 29846287356432 of your channels man xD
*Simon screaming into his fist*
My 16 year old "welp... that's an odd way to clear your throat."
PS Ask A Mortician is a very very good channel runned by a funeral director who educates about good death and good post mortum practices. She stands for eco friendly and cheaper funerals options. :)
My dad's family is from Ireland and let me tell you, Simon. There is no better party than an Irish funeral!
"When I'm dead, just throw me in the tresh." - Frank Reynolds
Human body composting is a thing. Just putting it out there for you. 😊💀
"Don't worry, he's not going to throw up, we're pretty certain..."
"He might shit his pants though..."
And he’d most certainly throw up
I can't believe Sam didn't use the opportunity to show the perfect clip in the intro: "The Big Lebowski", when Walter says "Just because we're bereaved, doesn't make us saps!"
Most normal people: When I Die -
Simon: IF I die!
Someone somewhere is always watching a Simon Whistler video at any given moment with his channel spread. The Blaze is eternal
Damn right.
@@brainblaze6526 How much do I have to pay to get a video on your five secrets to immortality Simon?
Legends never die.
He's right about just how unlucky we are to be born just at the steps of some kind of immortality.
“Whens the last time you bought a cd? Its 2020” Me: “about 7-9months ago”
Pastors at literally every funeral: I didn't know (enter name here) personally but I can tell they were a good, loved person by the amount of loved ones in front of me.
"Heaven just got another angel" ...he was a gang member that shot a toddler and sold heroin but okay...
@@LadySuchiko I hate that I relate to your comment. It shouldn't be real.
Simon! You set off the Siri again! It gave both my wife and I a laugh. Thank you 😊!
His shirt is telling me to dislike, but I'm enjoying this too much.
PURCH THE MERCH
@@brainblaze6526 if it's on a shirt, it's gotta be right.
@@TheBroly2020 The Internet would never lead us wrong!
When my ex's grandfather died in Karamea NZ - a little coastal town with one road access - It was about a 3 hour round trip and going to cost a shit load to get him picked up by the local funeral directors in the next town, so his son wrapped him in a sheet, sat him up and put his seatbelt on and off he went to deliver him. Legend.
Lol
My own father keeps advocating he be sunk into the Chesapeake bay for the crabs to enjoy - turnabout is fair play after all. XD
I have similar grand ideas about my remains. I've come to find it's really difficult to get the permission to execute on them though...or really expensive.