Depression and Musicians
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- Опубликовано: 22 авг 2024
- May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This is my honest attempt to talk about being depressed as a musician and the things helped me. If you are dealing with depression, please reach out to someone and get help. Don't be embarrassed - you are not alone.
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As a musician I feel like I've been chewed up and spit out by the LA/Hollywood scene and I've been attempting to slowly recover from that harsh harrowing reality, I was drumming for a notable artist for a few months and I thought I was on the cusp of realizing the work life I dreamt of as a child. I put my heart and soul into those rehearsals and made it my everyday routine, The last show I ever played for them I was not paid then I was replaced by someone who never practiced, who was younger, and who had a bad drug addiction. I was pretty sure that the only reason I was replaced was purely based on physical appearance. Just wanted to share a little of my story after I viewed this video, I appreciate you sharing Richard. I try my best to write more music when I am able to and fortunately I was recently recruited to a new band a friend of mine started and it warms my heart because they always mention these words "It feels great to play with a competent drummer" I am also extremely into music theory and how to use it to write music so I'm hoping one day I have as much courage as you do to start my own channel because I want to show people that writing music and understanding music theory doesn't have to be hard. I've been told by many people and many students (I teach on the side) that I am very good at explaining music theory and that I should publicize my thoughts. I only have a couple of pages written so far for the first video and hopefully I will find the confidence to finish it sooner rather than later.
I dont think I’ve ever met another musician or been in a band with anyone who wasn’t dealing with some kind of mental health issue, some complex trauma from childhood, or some neurondivergency. Like I’m Autistic and have dealt with everything that comes with that, my old band mates had severe depression and anxiety issues. A lot of musicians i know/knew had bad substance abuse issues to cope. I’m 31 now and got into music around 14. Learned metal vocals, electric guitar, bass (being my autistic special interest), I have a keyboard and drum kit, many types of guitars. My bedroom is basically just a studio/jam space with a bed and TV in it. I have pens and notebooks close by so when I need to vent, or inspiration hits, i have all of my stuff all around me. My wife had severe ADHD and has mental health issues, she’s learning drums rn on our electric drum kit, im teacher her bass. Im still in contact with a few ex band members who suffer from severe depression to check up on em and encourage em to keep going. Music is what keeps me going and is therapeutic for my Autism. It’s almost like a stim for me. Music is my passion in life. Idc about being famous or getting attention, I do it because it helps me express myself in ways I can’t verbally or cant communicate to others. With my ASD I have ADHD, and BPD as comorbidities, and bad Anxiety. It’s really hard to deal with sometimes, especially when I become overwhelmed and have meltdowns which I literally dont and cant control, but music brings me back to reality. It really sucks, and depression comes with it too, lots of negative intrusive self hating thoughts, can cause suicidal ideations. I was only diagnosed recently, so for 3 decades I thought I was just broken and crazy, but was just missed as a child. Sorry if this is all over the place and rambly…comes with the ASD. But yeah if it weren’t for my wife accepting and supporting me and my passion, and music being an outlet to release the negativity in my mind, idk where I’d be. Like when I have meltdowns and lose control, my wife will put music on and it brings me back and grounds me again because I can become really self destructive, start hitting myself, throwing things around the house (never violent towards her), it just becomes so much mental and emotional anguish. It’s sucks too because the ASD causes me to have severe insomnia, chronic migraines, stomach issues, I forget to eat ant drink. I have terrible social anxiety, almost to the point of agoraphobia sometimes, so I bring my headphones out with me. Sometimes my Zoom H6 and one of my basses with IEM’s so if need be I can plug into the zoom, out the IEM’s in my ears and play my bass and tune the world out. It’s crippling sometimes and there are days I wish I could just be “normal”. I’ve actually attempted suicide a few times during my meltdowns when I was much younger before I first picked up and instrument. I know it’s cliché to say, but music literally saved my life. I’ve tried therapists, medications, and nothing worked. Music does though. Sorry for the novel, but this is my experience with music and mental health.
I'm glad you shared your story - I think when we talk about this stuff, it really helps everyone understand that we're not alone. And sometimes our issues are too big to handle alone, and we do need to reach out for help. And I'm glad that music has been so valuable for you. Sometimes I think that music is a force of nature that we can tap into.
Thanks Richard, i’m sure this will help more than one person. It’s important to talk about this type of thing, it should be talked about more.
Thanks, Todd. I'm not very good at talking about this kind of stuff, but I just decided to go for it and hope that it helps someone sometime.
I use RUclips partly to find these kinds of videos that touch my soul. Thank you.
Thanks Richard.
Excellent Richard. Thanks for being so open and sharing your experience.
Thanks for watching! I do appreciate it.
Thanx, mate 👊
Thank you for this.
Also I need to say this is the healthiest outlook on a creative pursuit that I’ve ever heard. I also a bit concerned that if music is an expression of your personality then I have some personality work to do… People probably think my personality has too much gain and reverb.
Ha ha ha ha! That's pretty funny. Yeah, my personality has a lot of compression and a boost at 8k, I guess. :)
Came here to watch you assemble your StewMac kit, sticking around because you’re good folk. Thanks Richard!
Had enough success younger that made it pretty hard to move on to life after. Still play all the time as a hobbyist but you summed up the feeling of failure perfectly. Thanks for making this video
Your video popped up on my feed just at the right time! I appreciate you sharing your story
Great video, Richard. I've been feeling really burned out lately. This reminds me that I need to take breaks to do something different a few times a week (like gardening) to keep my sanity.
This video saved my day. Thank you so much.
Thanks for the video, a lot. 💛
Thank you so much for this. Helps a lot ❤
Great video
Thank you so much for this video and honestly sharing your experiences. I was very touched by your message as I’m probably exactly the type of person you referred to in the video… “Music is my life” and identifying my self-worth with the stage of my music career. When it’s really not about that. This video is just what I needed to hear right now, in fact I was searching for it…You seem like a wonderful person and wishing you all the best - a Croatian girl and aspiring artist living in London.
I'm very glad it was helpful! I think people need to talk about this stuff more. Music is a wonderful thing, but sometimes we get a little mixed up in our priorities.
Exactly 😊💚
Thank you. I took a lot from this video. I feel my most creative when I don't let my brain get in the way of my fingers. If I'm trying to write a good song, I will write a hot, steamy, incomplete pile of dung. When I am being an idiot, some people mistake me for a musician.
Thank you very much. I am finding it hard to be motivated and depressed, overwhelmed. I think I've just burned myself out from making and recording songs, promoting, managing social media, graphic artwork and do a song, push it out, repeat and for what?
I'm finding it hard and starting to question why and what for?
I used to love making music and now it's like a chore but I'm good at it but not getting the results. It's all starting to wear me down. Hope you understand. I'm not a guitarist but I felt that you was speaking to me so thank you.
My best music is when I let my heart and soul speak through the music about what I'm going through and sharing it with the world and you definitely deserve more subscribers and views.
All the best,
Paul
Lyrikal Master
Hang in there, Paul. It's easy to get bogged down trying to "win" at the music business. I think everyone who writes songs has a love/hate relationship with the whole thing. Everyone has to find their own path. If you keep working at it, the audience will happen. Whether it's enough depends on your goals.
Thanks for sharing your struggles and for being transparent and down to earth! 👍 You Rock!! You said it well!
Thank you, Tim. I appreciate that a lot.
@@user-eu3mn6ss5l Most welcome buddy!
Depression helped me write over 130 songs, years ago and recently. When I feel good, I’m out doing stuff, and I don’t write as well. But when I’m sad… I slide (sorry, Marc Bolan). 😁🎶
Thank you for this. With love from Kenya
Depression has been my way of life! Hard,hard life! Unfortunately I'll struggle till I can't anymore! Doctors suck when it comes to treating depression!! Thanks!
Hi Richard, another Richard here... to be honest i had to cry a little with this video. This topic should be addressed way more these day! It's a blessing to se and hear some honesty and realness in this superficial world. Love you man and thanks for sharing this message!
Thanks for watching! I agree that there isn't enough discussion. To a lot of us, music is very personal and very important, but society screws up our perceptions sometimes. Thank you for the kind words - I appreciate it.
I was blessed to sit here and listen to your story. I thank you for your humble understanding of what a musician is. RUclips can make you depressed because every where you turn there are uber talented people from 3 years old and up to people in their 80’s. Comparison is a lie. We need to just be ourselves and not be concerned with the “Not good enough “ thoughts bouncing around in our heads. I am a worship leader in a couple churches and I have gone through those kinds of struggles from time to time. I just have to keep my eyes focused on God and His love for us. I just enjoy playing guitar and singing for His glory.
Keep on being happy with being you.
❤
Thank you for this video.
My life has been the same...and people act like we aren't supposed to talk about these things. Thank you
You're very welcome. One great thing about the Internet is that the more we open up, the more we realize we're not alone and there are a lot of other people out there who feel the same way.
Very well said. Thanks for sharing this!
Thanks for the kind words. I definitely appreciate it.
There was a time when I wanted to do it professionally, but I came to the realization i would never be good enough for it (or so I thought). It was depressing. I kept playing but couldn't shake the feeling that I failed my dream before it ever got off the ground. Some time later, while talking to a friend about it, he asked me, "How would you define success in music?" The question confused the hell out of me, stardom was my default yard stick.
Thinking on the conversation I started to realize that I was most excited and driven when it was just about me, my guitar, guitar pro and hours upon hours of playing, learning and attempting to compose stuff. Then I started thinking of all the not so green grass on that side of the fence and I started to realize that I would most likely be even more miserable. Coming to the realization that my journey was what I loved out of it probably saved me from getting burnt out chasing a dream I didn't really want to begin with. His question of "What if it was just your friends and wife and kids rockin out to it, would you be happy with that?" really saved my most treasured hobby. Its been life long, from starting with a recorder in the 6th grade, learning melodies from Final Fantasy 7 by ear, to playing guitar creating my own music and gaining even more understanding about the theory behind it. Its been a life long journey and God willing, I'll die with an instrument in my hands.
Thank you for sharing your story. We get these ideas in our head about success and we forget why we started playing in the first place. I'm glad you came to the conclusion you did, because music can be a very wonderful thing in our lives, as long as we keep it in perspective.
Awesome video! Victor Wooten "Improvisation is the key to self expression"! I'm just learning the guitar, so I don't know anything and I have a feeling it will be one of the best parts of the journey! Thank you for putting this out there!
Thanks for taking the time to comment, and enjoy the journey! Playing music CAN be such a great source of happiness, as long as you keep in mind that it's supposed to be fun.
I just always have the perpetual feeling of dissatisfaction. Maybe that’s just part of being human, but I just feel like I should be doing something and right now I’m just treading water. I guess I’ve hit a bit of a plateau, and I don’t know where to go from here.
You're not alone - I think a lot of us feel that way from time to time. No one can give you the answers that will be best for you, but people can suggest strategies that might be worth trying. My suggestion would be to try to do something just for the sheer fun of it, even if it has no value to anyone else. Sometimes you can end up with good ideas once you let go of being super serious.
@@user-eu3mn6ss5l I think I’m like you. I’ve recorded an album of old time/bluegrass music, but on some level I feel like I haven’t done enough as a musician. I’ve never been more successful than I am right now. It must just be part of the human condition. If I were to earnestly follow your advice I’d probably end up buying another banjo, and I don’t think my wife could endure such a thing lol.
I'm a bit late but I just wanted to say you have no idea how much this video means so me I'm a struggling musician I've been in a few punk bands that never did anything but I've been the frontman in my current band for the past 5 or so years and we've done little tours and stuff like that and we're currently working on an album it'll be are debut album I'm only 20 years old and I just feel like I could be doing more as a musician and as a songwriter I always get discouraged and I always think that I'm not good enough and I let it get to my head if I make small mistakes on the guitar at gigs and I overcomplicate and over-think things too much and it's like I don't really get many compliments on the music that I write and it really does make me feel like a failure and I thought about giving up so many times I've had really bad thoughts as well like self harm but I won't get into that long story short though thank you for making this video it means so much
I'm glad the video was helpful. Making music is a very personal thing - people have no idea how much we put our heart and soul into what we do. But music is a lifelong journey and sometimes we are our own worst critics. Make the best music you can - that's all you can do, and that is a very worthwhile goal, regardless of the outcome.