My Coming Out Story (AND A PUPPY!!!)
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- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2024
- I've been asked over and over to share my coming out story. And since October is a huge month for the LGBT community, I thought I might finally oblige all the people who have been asking. Also, I decided to include my puppy, Dobby, in the video, just in case people don't find my story to be that interesting to watch. WHO DOESN'T LOVE PUPPIES???
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Music in this video is royalty free courtesy of Incompetech.
I can't believe Dobby was ever that small!
Going through the comments upset me because people are like "Bisexual is just a label you use when you don't want to come out gay" My best friend is bisexual and in a years time had been with both girls and guys and has no doubts with any of the girls he's been in short term relationships with and has had no doubts with the guys ether. He's been in long relationships with both guys and girls. So I don't see how "its just a way to cover up your completely gay."
Also the comments that are like "You can't be Bi your the gayest guy I've ever seen." You can judge a person on how they act and the fact that people do is very annoying. We are who we are and sexuality shouldn't be something that people feel define each other.
It's LGBTQ for a reason. Lesbian, Gay,BISEXUAL,Transgender, Questioning. And I don't understand why the LGBTQ community judges. Each other on what they are and sound just like Homophobic people.
I'm just saying.
RJ has got to be just about the coolest guy on earth :P
Tell me about it! :)
I always admire his take on life and relationship. And many other topics. I just wish he makes these videos more often.
I liked your creative way of combining your coming out story with your puppy, and I'm glad your family was accepting of you! :)
I've been trying to find bisexual coming out stories for years now, thank you so much for making this video
Loved the video, Dobby was and is adorable. I particularly love how you specified get a puppy be happy. Puppies are pure happiness mixed with boundless energy all tied up with unconditional love. I have come to like and respect you and Will from watching your videos and watching you playing Dobby as a puppy just confirms it all. If more people cared less about who other people are dating/living with the world would be so much brighter and happier!
BABY DOBBY IS MAKING MY HEART SING
The music for this video kinda reminds me of the first level of Super Mario 2. Great story and Dobby is too cute.
I have a friend who decided to come out to me as gay. He tells everyone else about these make believe ex girlfriends and he only tells me how much he wishes that he could come clean. I so wish he was more comfortable to come out. I hate seeing him unhappy. I don't know what to do or say to him that will help.
This is amazing. You have to be happy and true to yourself. When I came out, my parents were fine. My mom was pissed that I didn't tell her sooner, but I first had to make sure that this is what I want. Congrats on your engagement!
I love how you just casually talk about how amazing it just shows how much you love him(: I am so happy for you two
Found this after watching the "This is a Jump Cut" video, and OMG PUPPY DOBBY IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE I LITERALLY SAID "AWWWW" OUT LOUD. I almost wanted to post a comment about Dobby's cuteness right then and there, but then I made myself be patient because I really wanted to hear RJ's coming out story. I haven't seen a lot of bisexual coming out stories, so this made me happy. RJ, I was really happy to learn you came out at 20, because I came out last year at 20 a month or so before my 21st birthday. So cool we came out around the same age as the same sexuality. It's just really nice to know I'm not the only person to come out in their 20s. Love this video, and I am so glad you and Will are on RUclips.
Thanks to this video, I came out to my parents yesterday as bisexual. Thank you for everything RJ
'Flamboyant guys' are normal too. Each society arbitrarily decides what to name masculine or feminine. There is no reason to buy into or follow those conventions.
They've spoken out about that very issue several times before. Neither of them believe there is anything wrong with being flamboyant or masculine, and have actually spoken against people in the gay community that kind of outcast individuals for being feminine and such. I think it just skipped RJ's mind to elaborate, but when he said what he said I believe it was more so on his parents behalf. In which although it's not right, for parents coming from a strictly religious background, should be an expected attitude if their son comes out and says he's dating a man.
Thanks for posting this, it made me realize that I should come out BEFORE getting into a relationship instead of waiting to see if I'll end up with a woman (which was my original plan). Oh man, now I'm nervous...
That sounds similar in terms of how I came out as bisexual as well, but mine was a bit more hostile. I am 16, and when I was 15 and during the start of the summer, I decided to come out one night at a dinner restaurant. I was literally stuttering and sweating, but when I said it my mom and siblings simply went quiet. My mom always told me she would be supportive if I came out, but my mom and siblings' reaction was absolutely terrible for the first hour, shaming me and blaming it on friends, or said that I "didn't understand love" and such and it was very frustrating. In the end, my siblings basically said they didn't believe me (just they wait), and my mom was not comfortable, but supportive because I was her son. To this day, it stays as an avoided awkward topic in my household, and I am afraid to come out to my dad in fears of my safety, financially, physically, and relationship-wise. So that's my coming out story.
Why would you have to worry about your safety from your own father?
I enjoy hearing mostly positive stories about coming out, I get slightly envious because unfortunately mine hasn't been as good, but I also remember that sometimes you can choose your family when your actual family lets you down. Great video RJ and that dog is ridiculously adorable.
btw regarding to the coming out story, it is very encouraging, RJ, thanks a lot for sharing. my dad didnt take it very well when i told him, we kinda cried and he promised to back me up and support me to turn back to being "normal", which sucks and confusing. i havent told anyone else yet in my family, but i think my mum kinda knows. my friends are 95% so cool with it, and they responded "omg finally!" when i told them i like men a freaking lot.
the puppy is so freaking adorable that I died
You seem like such a cool guy! You're so chill. And I LOVE your puppy!! So cuteee :D
Researching this video and seeing how small Dobby was... He's grown so much
Man your videos are seriously the most interesting & they really get me thinking. & I love your opinion on things because they actually make sense
I enjoyed both the puppy and the story
Dobby is so adorable! I miss my dog and have been wondering whether to adopt a puppy or an older dog. Either is fine with me. The puppy time is pretty awesome, though. Best advice I ever got, for it works super well: when your pooch nips you even lightly, yelp like you're a puppy he hurt. They respond really well to that and you're teaching him how roughly he can play safely. :) I hope Dobby keeps you two entertained and brings you much love for many years. Thanks for the sweet video.
This whole time, I thought his name was Derby... Dobby.. nice
I've only been subscribed to you guys for about a year, but I've watched all of your videos/vlogs, so I feel like I've "known" you for a lot longer. So nice to see this story. And, so very nice to see things going so well for you and Will. Thanks for sharing so much with us and all the effort and work you both put into these videos. Congratulations on all of your recent happy adventures and the very best of luck to you both in the future.
I am a new subscriber and I want to THANK YOU for sharing your story. Today coming out should NEVER be a big thing anymore. It's so more widely accepted and in my day not many people came out but stayed in the closet like me. Although my family figured it out at an early age I came out when I was 27...a little late compared to others but the main thing is to come out. Your puppy is adorable and so are you and looking forward to seeing more of your videos. Best of luck and CONGRATULATIONS sweetheart...xo "Mama" Steve😊🎃❤🎵🎶🎵🎶
I'm watching this for the small dobby
that's why i like watching your and will's videos. you guys aren't flamboyant, which is what makes you guys so easy to watch.
You were so right in saying it's best when it's not a big thing. Some people were really nice and gave hugs etc which did make me feel good, but it made me feel normal, as if nothing was different when people were like 'good for you' or 'okay' and just moved on :) Normalising that kind of situation is everything a closeted person needs because to them, everything to them seems completely out of the norm because they're entering a whole new world (hold the disney quote)
Thanks for sharing your story but I do find the part when you regard "flamboyant" gay people with a negative undertone/connotation slightly offensive. There's no particular way of how a gay person should be and nothing wrong with being effeminate.
tsubaith I agree. I just ran into this video out of nowhere, and yeah, that’s very fucking offensive.
Dobby is so tiny omg!!
One of the best bisexual coming out stories I have seen.
Dobby is so cute!
Dobby is awesome. You should make another video with Dobby.
Coming Out Story is my most requested video to date. So yeah.
I rant about this a lot, but with family when you come out - patience is really useful.
Parents especially have all these hopes and dreams and typically coming out asks them to change that. Resistance or crying doesn't mean they are homophobic. They are just mourning the loss of the dreams they had for you. Those dreams will (hopefully) change to accomodate this new information and then things settle down.
The hardest part of MY coming out was me coming to terms with other people knowing.
I just wanna say congratulations on your engagement and also you and Will have really inspired me to be myself more and not care about what people think, you two have really changed my life for the better and I wish you and Will the best and joy.
Great video, RJ! Dobby is so adorable.
This is my favorite part: 'The best reaction is and? So what?' This is so true. And I was lucky enough to have that be my dad's reaction when I told him I was gay. He was basically like 'Okay, great...but aren't we watching the baseball game?' Yes, we were. But he then saw how uncomfortable and nervous I was, so he muted the TV for a couple minutes and lended some supportive words. It was awesome. And funny. I'm very lucky. As are you!
i love the casual 'oh also i got engaged recently' awwww :) also dobby's adorable
aw baby Dobby
So happy for everything the 100,000, engagement and Dobby!!
You made my dog going crazy with the noise that that toy makes. He's like running aroung the whole room searching for his toy xD
Watching RJ talking about introducing Will to everyone as his boyfriend and about his family's acceptance of Will reminded me of the day when they went to the Aguiar (I hope I spelled that right) Family Reunion. Plus how RJ accidentally ripped a pair of Will's jeans.
Both my parents, who I told separately, said "okay" and then went back to what they were doing. Frankly, it was really jarring just because I was so prepared for a reaction!
And thanks for sharing your coming out story, I actually find it weird that this video is out only now, I somehow always assumed your coming out process was exactly as you described it in this video. And Dobby is adorablez!
RJ great coming out story. I am glad your life with Will can be shared with both families. Cute dog. I can't wait to see him when he is full grown. Love your channel RJ. Only the best for both you guys.
Lol I love the title of this video.
You and Will are so inspirational. you guys help me get through tough days! thank you
One of my best friends came out as gay to me but he didn't tell me for a while because I'm a Christian and he thought I would judge. We're in no position to judge and you're parents are great examples of that!! You and Will and so cute and I wish you all the happiness in the future, you deserve it :) (Oh, and Dobby's cute too)
"Will was just a normal guy, not flamboyantly gay or over the top"
Ouch ouch ..
Thanks for sharing, RJ!
He is the cutest thing ever! RJ too but I am talking about the puppy!
I don't know if it's that I am ridiculously tired or if it's the fact that I have had more than 4 glasses of wine tonight. But when RJ said that Will is not flamboyant, I couldn't stop laughing.
Love it. I thought Will was the only one to say, "Puppy, puppy, puppy!", but you both say it. I am even starting to say it. LOL
thank you so much for this video RJ! It's really nice to have someone like you to look up to. I came out as bisexual when I was 15 which was way too early and my biggest regret is that I didn't wait until I was more mature. And my dad still has some issues with it but me and him have always been close so he tries to get over it.
Thank you for this video, you're so awesome and dobby is such a pretty puppy :D
omg dobby was so tiny then
You've covered all the bases here with both your story and a puppy. 'Tis a cute puppy, by the way. Your tale of being bisexual and seriously involved with a man shows another aspect of gay life other than just being totally into the same sex. It's great that you made this video. It is going on my "Coming Out As Gay" RUclips Playlist.
I love your stories about your brother, RJ. Really inspiring stuff. Thanks for sharing!
I loved how natural and real this video was. Nice RJ! :)
Oh, I didn't realize that RJ was in this video, I just saw Dobby. Kidding. I kid. I kid because I love. Great video RJ!
We've been doing that. I just couldn't do that here without making the microphone distort.
It's 2019 and no offense Rj (if you see this). The only reason I'm watching this is because I just seen where Dobby has passed and this is the only video I'm able to find of him. I really wish I could find more. I might not have know him in real life but I did watch him grow up. I started watching yours and Wills videos right when you guys moved to LA. I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for taking the time to read this, if you do. ❤
When I told my mother I was Bi, it was kind of a similar thing minus the crying. She was concerned about how it might make my life more difficult, and questioned me if I was sure I was. She's pretty cool about it all now, just a little rocky at the beginning there. My brother was kind of similar to, but I didn't come out to him, he just asked me if I was. My dad on the other hand, I'm kind of feeling how you felt before you met your now fiance. I may end up with a girl, and telling him just seems like it would cause a lot of unnecessary drama. You give advice that you should tell before you have a boyfriend, but I don't know. My dad is in general a bigot, and while he's never explicitly hated on gays, I doubt he feels to strongly about them.
Very good words here. It's true, your immediate family is the only one that you really should feel the need to come out to (depending on your circumstances of course) because they're the ones who actually know you, everyone else is just void.
Setting on the floor playing with Dobby was a great way of telling your story. Thanks.
I feel that if I had someone like Will, I'd be able to come out. It's great to hear your full coming out experience :)
And Dobby's a great distraction ~
I love how much more prominent Dobby is in the video than the actual story
Thanks for sharing your life with us.
Dobby's adorable! Will & you are adorable!
Both of your parents are fantastic!
I love how this is a really unique coming out video, in wich I dind't cry a bit, I was just happy for you
Its not easy trust me, I came out last week and was terrified! My parents at first seemed like they hated me because they didn't have much to say. The next day everything was better it just takes people a while to adjust. If people don't accept and support you the way the way your are then they shouldn't be worth your time! :D Good Luck!
Dobby is having some fun with the blanket at 5:20 !!
The day you came out I was really proud and I've never seen you so happy since you came out. Love you bro. P.S. You failed the mention that the reason they were giving me a hard time about the girl I was dating is because you told them =P
I love your definition of being bi :)
Your dog makes for such a cute intermission to continue segueing into your storyline! Haha.
You had me at puppy 😍
I love that you decided to have a "sub-plot" for the video in case people didn't like the story! XD
Great video RJ. I like hearing your story and im so happy for you and Will. And yes we love Dobbie.
I survived being abused by a stranger one day around the age of 6 or 7, It created a lot of negative emotions around my attractions for other males, for I associated these feelings with the adult male stranger who took advantage of me. My PTSD is much better, & the negative thoughts and anxiety are no longer a major issue. I know both Gay & Strait survivors can go through a lot of confusion about their orientation. Even a strait male violated by a female might shun females due to the trauma.
Thanks for sharing your coming out story RJ. Although I just came to see Dobby again :) hehehe J/K. I'm glad that your parents are very supportive of who you are. I just wish all family members were like that, but like you said. Everyone will have a different coming out story.
Great story! I'm really so happy for you and your life! Dobby is growing up so, so fast! :)
He looks like he's getting big quick! He's such a cute puppy! Totally going to be a hand full. LOL
I am starving!!! Just came to room put some stuff away before cooking dinner and I could not resist to wait to see this video:-) Iloved it!!!
omg dobby was so little
The comment we can't help who's right for me is so true
its so interesting how your family reacted a lot like my family. my mom went through the same misconceptions and we have the same "family is family" dynamic. I guess its a Latino thing...
I had a quite nice coming out story with my sister... We were walking in the park and I decided to tell her that I am gay. She was SO surprised that she just stood there in silence. I asked her "What?! You didn't know? I thought that it was so obvious and that you went to the pride as a support to me.". And she was like "No, I went there because I am a human being." :) Then she showed me her secret piercing on her belly so we can be even. :D That coming out day was the nicest day ever...
Hopefully coming out will be as casual a discussion as this video is. I love it!
I was waiting for this for so long i needed that
Your puppy is so cuttttttteeeeeeee🐶
Dobby was so tiny awwwww
Lol Dobby shows his affection for his blanket a bit too much at 5:24.
I'm REALLY lucky. I never actually came out, everyone just sorta already knew. Made my life a lot easier.
i like it that you talk very naturally in this video. i think its because your playing with dobby. you can sometimes sound very scripted in your videos. nice to hear coming out was 'easy' but i couldnt imagine it being anything different after seeing your parents in the daily vlogs. theyre really nice!
He was about to call Dobby a Son of a Bitch, and technically he wouldn't be wrong
haha great video RJ I had to watch it TWICE 1st time to listen to your story 2nd time to just watch Dobby! hahah Typical boy I fail at multitasking! XD
love you.
oh and national coming out day is on my b-day(Oct.11)😁
Ok, I mean I guess this is interesting, but, PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!! and his name is freaking DOBBY!!!!!!!!!!! (It is interesting but, still, PUPPY!!!)
I was really trying to listen to your coming out story but god damn that dog is adorable
I liked the attitude of this video. It's like "coming out doesn't need to be super serious. Telling mom and dad i'm dating a guy it's a big deal and shouldn't be." Though Dobby was distracting a lot. lol
Were you telling a story? I only had eyes for Dobby! I'm glad your family was so cool about it.