I’m nearly 40 and have three very close friends. I speak with them daily. One I haven’t lived near since we were in high school! Our friendship is based on our connection. We like speaking to each other, sharing stories, discussing problems, laughing about funny things that happen, taking and getting advice. We are all definitely different than we were 20-30 years ago but the base friendship exists. The key has been to consistently stay in touch. At times there have been small breaks due to life being busy but we always manage to catch up and for the last many years I speak to them daily.
Most of my best friends have passed away but I have many acquaintances. I've found people only contact me when they want something from me. I don't need any of them.
From a psychological point of view human beings are really only capable of sustaining about 5 deep relationships in their lifetime. I tend to agree with this. The worst thing I'm sure a lot of people can relate to is this: you have someone come into your life as a friend and you spend regular time together each week for a meal, and hiking, then gradually you realize they aren't really interested in you, and that it's all about them. You were just a distraction, a convenience, to keep their narcissism fed, and they dump you! It can be difficult to unravel it all, however, one lives and learns!
I know someone who has friends from high school, college, first job, second job, third job, all relatives, neighbors, meetings, gym, facebook etc. It's trully mind boggling. I don't know how they do it.
My best friend and I had a good run 1976-2022. We met in the 2nd grade. Regular get togethers for 46yrs! Played after school. In our 20s we went out to the bars at night and to the gym in the morning. Played tennis in season. His daughter IS a niece of mine and just turned 31. In 2020 they moved far away. Many good memories over the years. I miss them. Still think about them often.
I have one good friend that I know for almost 12 years. We talk about art, movies and books. He's the worst in giving advice whenever I have issues at work or in my relationship, but I don't mind that much anymore. In the past he would obsess over his ex and constantly talk about her so that got repetitive and become annoying. We almost had a fallout over it. But nowadays we enjoy having a drink together and having deep discussion about many subjects so our friendship is based on spending time together and talking for hours. Friends like that, who like you for you are the best! Too bad they are rare nowadays.
That is so lovely and is something I never had (the silly marathon chats my friends while drinking and doing drugs in my youth don't count lol) but I do see other people having those kind of friendships and it fills me hope for humanity ☺ Your friendship sounds very sweet, thank you for sharing.
Oh I deactivated FB 14 years ago, that was when I was at my lowest point and FB made it worse. At least I was clever enough to see that all that fake crap on it was not helpful in any way.
a person with true friends has maybe 3-5 over their adult lifetime... if you have "many" friends .. then they're all fake. The 900+ Facebook friends I have aren't real friends, they're people form my past that came in for a moment .. some of them left me with value, and some didn't ... I'm my best friend these days, and I have one other friend I see 2-3 times a week.
Hi Jo, great video! In my experience, I outgrew my friends. I grew up while they wanted to stay the same. Then I was in the music industry, where as a band (as you know) you have a group of ‘friends’ or even drinking buddies. But when the band breaks up, you drift apart. I dropped lots of friends and kept the best one from university. And I’m happy with that. True friendship is a deeper connection. Even new friends can enrich your life. 😀
@@JoGalas1He is! 😊 He lives in London and I live in Newcastle. So a few times a year I come down to visit, and he visits his parents at Xmas so I normally see him then too. He’s had a girlfriend for a few years now and she knows how important it is for us to be friends. 😃
Some people grow apart, but the friendships that remain are the friendships in which people grow together. I've had the same friends for 20 plus years. We are not the same people from years ago, but that's exactly why we are still friends.
Had some friends that were drinking friends.Also friendly with people but would not confine or trust them.Have one threw friend over 40 years never had a fall out.Could tell each other things and never repeat to anyone.We worked together socialised together went on hols We both got married wait for it .We both got divorced 😅.We don't over power each other we meet up from time to time .We both enjoy our own space also and it works for us.
So many of the past friends I have, will only keep in contact through Social Media and I can’t stand that! It’s fair if we live in different cities or different countries to sustain a friendship over Social Media, but when you live in the same city, and even more when you are only a 30 minute drive away or less, I want to have a real-life interaction and not chat over Social Media, texting, or phone only. You can’t maintain a close relationship with someone without being physically in their presence. This is one main reason why I have no friends anymore. No one wants to meet in person anymore.
(1) Humans have this weird obsession with being popular (2) We only have so many hours in the day (3) It is the need to be popular that damages connections (4) We understand we will never know 8 billion people (5) However even 150 people is alot. (6) Go up Dunbars number in psychology. (7) Your ability to be potentially replaced by others is what limits your value. (8) Think back to all the tv shows in the 80s and 90s (9) Even friends only had 6 main characters (10) All the rest were NPCs (11) Maybe full house... The original show...(7) People (12) Mad about you... (2) People... (13) Go look at the way paul and Jamie look at each other...
Have I been fortunate to see your ideology mushroom as I still have to catch up on many of your videos Jo ? You seem to be making some people uncomfortable ? If so, that is good ! Will delete this message later Jo and enjoy the anticipated discourse. Listening to live news in the middle east on my second laptop. Relevant to disinformation on social media and certain media outlets which results in Cults, even involving potential world leaders. You seem to gain strength from mean criticism., good on you ! I do not possess a smartphone, never have.
I’m nearly 40 and have three very close friends. I speak with them daily. One I haven’t lived near since we were in high school! Our friendship is based on our connection. We like speaking to each other, sharing stories, discussing problems, laughing about funny things that happen, taking and getting advice. We are all definitely different than we were 20-30 years ago but the base friendship exists. The key has been to consistently stay in touch. At times there have been small breaks due to life being busy but we always manage to catch up and for the last many years I speak to them daily.
Most of my best friends have passed away but I have many acquaintances.
I've found people only contact me when they want something from me.
I don't need any of them.
Everything is a transaction these days. Even friendships unfortunately.
@@JoGalas1 Axiomatic
From a psychological point of view human beings are really only capable of sustaining about 5 deep relationships in their lifetime. I tend to agree with this. The worst thing I'm sure a lot of people can relate to is this: you have someone come into your life as a friend and you spend regular time together each week for a meal, and hiking, then gradually you realize they aren't really interested in you, and that it's all about them. You were just a distraction, a convenience, to keep their narcissism fed, and they dump you! It can be difficult to unravel it all, however, one lives and learns!
Yes, I relate to this so much, than you for sharing!
I know someone who has friends from high school, college, first job, second job, third job, all relatives, neighbors, meetings, gym, facebook etc. It's trully mind boggling. I don't know how they do it.
I completely agree. I can't maintain a friendship from the past with which I no longer have anything in common except memories.
Thank you! 😊
My best friend and I had a good run 1976-2022. We met in the 2nd grade. Regular get togethers for 46yrs! Played after school. In our 20s we went out to the bars at night and to the gym in the morning. Played tennis in season. His daughter IS a niece of mine and just turned 31. In 2020 they moved far away. Many good memories over the years. I miss them. Still think about them often.
What a lovely story. I wish I had that and always jealous of people with amazing best friends.
I have one good friend that I know for almost 12 years. We talk about art, movies and books. He's the worst in giving advice whenever I have issues at work or in my relationship, but I don't mind that much anymore. In the past he would obsess over his ex and constantly talk about her so that got repetitive and become annoying. We almost had a fallout over it. But nowadays we enjoy having a drink together and having deep discussion about many subjects so our friendship is based on spending time together and talking for hours. Friends like that, who like you for you are the best! Too bad they are rare nowadays.
That is so lovely and is something I never had (the silly marathon chats my friends while drinking and doing drugs in my youth don't count lol) but I do see other people having those kind of friendships and it fills me hope for humanity ☺ Your friendship sounds very sweet, thank you for sharing.
I really do believe we go through several different phases in life, approximately every 10 years. Also, I recently deactivated my facebook.
Oh I deactivated FB 14 years ago, that was when I was at my lowest point and FB made it worse. At least I was clever enough to see that all that fake crap on it was not helpful in any way.
@@JoGalas1 oh wow 😮
a person with true friends has maybe 3-5 over their adult lifetime... if you have "many" friends .. then they're all fake. The 900+ Facebook friends I have aren't real friends, they're people form my past that came in for a moment .. some of them left me with value, and some didn't ... I'm my best friend these days, and I have one other friend I see 2-3 times a week.
I loved your quote "some left me with value" I'd like to see it that way as well ☺️ Thank you !
Hi Jo, great video! In my experience, I outgrew my friends. I grew up while they wanted to stay the same. Then I was in the music industry, where as a band (as you know) you have a group of ‘friends’ or even drinking buddies. But when the band breaks up, you drift apart. I dropped lots of friends and kept the best one from university. And I’m happy with that. True friendship is a deeper connection. Even new friends can enrich your life. 😀
Love that you kept the best one from university. They must be a fantastic person and it's so cool you both cherish a beautiful friendship ☺️
@@JoGalas1He is! 😊 He lives in London and I live in Newcastle. So a few times a year I come down to visit, and he visits his parents at Xmas so I normally see him then too. He’s had a girlfriend for a few years now and she knows how important it is for us to be friends. 😃
Some people grow apart, but the friendships that remain are the friendships in which people grow together. I've had the same friends for 20 plus years. We are not the same people from years ago, but that's exactly why we are still friends.
I love that your differences made your friendship what it is today. Thank you for sharing, that's a perspective I hadn't thought about :)
Had some friends that were drinking friends.Also friendly with people but would not confine or trust them.Have one threw friend over 40 years never had a fall out.Could tell each other things and never repeat to anyone.We worked together socialised together went on hols We both got married wait for it .We both got divorced 😅.We don't over power each other we meet up from time to time .We both enjoy our own space also and it works for us.
I love that!
So many of the past friends I have, will only keep in contact through Social Media and I can’t stand that!
It’s fair if we live in different cities or different countries to sustain a friendship over Social Media, but when you live in the same city, and even more when you are only a 30 minute drive away or less, I want to have a real-life interaction and not chat over Social Media, texting, or phone only.
You can’t maintain a close relationship with someone without being physically in their presence.
This is one main reason why I have no friends anymore. No one wants to meet in person anymore.
That's the thing! It's not real friendship when you only like each other's pics. People confuse that. Thank you for sharing 💕
I think the smart person has very few expectations from friends and never over thinks friendships. Just enjoy the good times and ask little of anyone.
You're absolutely right! ☺️ Thank you!
There is alot of fake people out there jo.
(1) Humans have this weird obsession with being popular
(2) We only have so many hours in the day
(3) It is the need to be popular that damages connections
(4) We understand we will never know 8 billion people
(5) However even 150 people is alot.
(6) Go up Dunbars number in psychology.
(7) Your ability to be potentially replaced by others is what limits your value.
(8) Think back to all the tv shows in the 80s and 90s
(9) Even friends only had 6 main characters
(10) All the rest were NPCs
(11) Maybe full house... The original show...(7) People
(12) Mad about you... (2) People...
(13) Go look at the way paul and Jamie look at each other...
Have I been fortunate to see your ideology mushroom as I still have to catch up on many of your videos Jo ? You seem to be making some people uncomfortable ? If so, that is good ! Will delete this message later Jo and enjoy the anticipated discourse.
Listening to live news in the middle east on my second laptop. Relevant to disinformation on social media and certain media outlets which results in Cults, even involving potential world leaders. You seem to gain strength from mean criticism., good on you ! I do not possess a smartphone, never have.
That's an excellent way to describe it. I do gain strength from mean criticism. If anything it fuels me to continue. Thank you for your words Glyn.
Do you use Instagram?