I am from the country (Poland) that has abortion banned almost completely. More than that, there were people that wanted to make it that the pregnant person is arrested in case of miscarriage and has to prove that they didn’t cause it (imagine having been interrogated at the worse possible time, the time of immense grief and pain). Fortunately that didn’t pass. Not so long ago a woman died after the doctors refused to perform D&C after she was brought to hospital about 20 weeks pregnant and the doctors discovered that she had not enough of amniotic fluid and the fetus had severe abnormalities and eventually passed away. Because of their controversial views on abortion they refused the procedure that the woman wanted. There was no way to save the baby. The woman became septic and died leaving her older, very much alive kids at home without their mom and family members devastated……and most women in the country…..extremely angry! Her unfair and unneeded death caused number of huge protests in my home country. Not to mention weeks before that happened Poland basically banned abortion in case of fetal deformities and that was the very reason the doctors refused to perform D&C. The woman lost her life and her loved ones lost a wife and mom because of incorrect and insane beliefs. How was her life and lives of her other kids and husband any different than the life of the fetus that couldn’t be saved anyway? Loss of very much wanted pregnancy is devastating and shaming someone going through such terrible thing and pouring her feelings out is horrible and simply wrong!
Did you watch the video? Nobody wants people to get arrested for miscarriage. I'm a political extremist and even I don't want that. I have been to Washington DC, I've traveled to multiple state capitals to lobby for bills... I've spent my life speaking at and talking to pro-lifers. I've literally met thousands of them. Nobody. Has. Ever. Wanted. To. Prosecute. Miscarriage. You're just repeating a silly lie you heard on the news.
@@YoYo_Ma Every pro-lifer in the comments: "I don't want this and I've never met ANYONE who wants this" Every pro-choicer in the comments: "PRO-LIFERS WANT THIS!!!!11" lolol just goes to show how out of touch the pro-choice side is with reality. They don't even know the arguments they oppose 😂
@@ruaraidh74 oh that's exactly what pro-lifers want. You people don't care about living beings, you don't care about mother dying or about children suffering in abusive families or the foster system. Don't pretend you want something different. You only care to control other people's choices and be sure that you will all burn in hell for it. God doesn't like people like you who force their opinions on others and take away rights from other human beings.
This hits hard. In 1969 my mom lost a baby at 18 weeks due to the German Measles. She had to have a therapeutic abortion to remove the baby. Because it was 1969, she had to go in front of a hospital board (all men) asking her why she wanted to kill her baby. Her baby that was already dead inside of her. After the procedure, which we firmly believe was only granted because my own father was a doctor, they made her stay in the hospital for five days to recover. In the maternity ward. An eight bed ward where they kept bringing in the newborns to their mothers to feed. She’s 81 now and still says that they did that to punish her. PUNISH HER, for a baby that she dearly wanted. My mother is the biggest pro choice advocate today and literally cries over what’s going on in The U.S. right now. She was treated like garbage at the lowest point in her life because of a bunch of pro life bigots. she’s never forgiven them.
Thank you for sharing your mum’s story, it absolutely broke my heart and I can’t imagine what she went through. It is so tragic to see the US backsliding to the dark ages. No one should ever be punished in that way ever, ever again.
@@ltlredhen4177 I’m sure you’re right, but maybe they could have put her on another floor? I just know that they’re so much better now with pregnancy loss, it’s a blessing. Our mom’s went through hell.
@@graceg3250 From what my mom has told me, they wanted her to carry her until her body evacuated her naturally. Any ‘rush to remove the baby’ was seen as a negative. now, today (and lord, I hope then) we know the risks to the mother for carrying a dead fetus longer than needed, but they really seemed to feel that if she elected to have the D&C then she WANTED the baby gone. I tell you, my mom should be a public speaker on this topic. I’m 57 and even after all of these years when she speaks of it she has me both deeply entranced in her story and bawling my eyes out at the same time.
My mom had to have a D&C to reduce endometrial tissue because she couldn't get pregnant (PCOS) and the nurse was so awful to her about getting "an abortion" when she wasn't pregnant in the first place and wanted to _be_ pregnant desperately
My mom would have prolonged bleeding during her periods and would become anemic. Eventually the doctor put her on older birth control to stop her periods, but then she'd require a d&c to remove excessive built-up lining so she wouldn't be in pain due to it.
Two missed miscarriages in a row here. Second one I hemorrhaged. Was raced to ER and given an ultrasound. The male tech stated maybe I would remember this the next time I decided to destroy my baby. I was stunned: I told him I had a dnc because my baby died and he said dubiously "yeah that's what they all say". He also went out of his way to make the UA more painful. I filled a complaint with that hospital, but he was a traveling temp and was long gone. I will never be alone with a male ultrasound tech again.
I've had friends wonder why a male in his late 30s from the Midwest subscribes to this channel. This video is a great example as to why, granted there are definitely some videos that I feel like an outsider. With that said, I do have an 8 year old daughter and you've really helped me be more honest with her and answer her questions. I also feel more confident (although still terrified) for the teenage years Thank you for all that you do
Stay that course! Honesty and communication are the key to a healthy child growing into a healthy adult. You will find yourself wanting to holler at the top of your lungs because you know what she's doing isn't great.. but listen, just listen. Let her know that she can always come to you for advice, even if she doesn't take it, you will always be honest and try to help her through the difficulties ahead. She's going to make mistakes. Help her learn from them without judgement (bite your tongue until it bleeds!) A great question for your daughter in a bad situation is "what can we learn from this and how can we avoid it in the future?" instead of yelling or punishment. We all go through this, it's easy to lose our cool. However, it's more important to come out the other side with knowledge of how to cope the next time around. -best of luck, from the mom of a wonderful, strong 25 year old daughter. 🥰
I think the idea of "stay in your lane" is incredibly toxic and counter productive. If more progressive people are afraid to discuss issues limited to certain demographics, such as trans rights for transgender people or reproductive rights for AFAB people, we will end up ignorant and powerless. Because there are people out there very happy to get into others' lanes and take away rights. Only as a united front can we hope to curtail the power of people trying to take away those rights piecemeal. I think it's wonderful for men to be feminists, for cishet people to be queer allies, for white people to march for BLM. None of us are strong enough as individual minorities to hold back the rising tide of horror. So yeah, I'm glad for your daughter that you are educated on these topics. But you don't have to have a daughter to care. Good on you for finding and sticking with this most excellent educator.
This video topic definitely irked me and although rare the logic can also go the other way. My mum had me and my brother vaginally me with no complications just a long labour and my brothers birth had bad complications had her sisters who had c section births tell her and me that she's not a real mother because she never "put herself through the painful sacrifices to bring her kids into the world like they did by not doing c section births" despite the fact that they knew she and my brother could have died because my brother had a huge head and got stuck. This was back in 2003 and something that has never quite left me
@@tihanadunic6185 in my mums case 2 c section mothers said that mothers who don't go through a c section birth aren't real mothers because they didn't put themselves through the pain basically saying that c section mums are the only real ones
@@Nekogal21 what the hell?! I am sorry, I am a bit shocked, cause I've heard this the other way round, so often, and don't need to say it's wrong, but this is a next level.
@@tihanadunic6185 some people just aren't logically sound unfortunately. I'm just all for getting the baby into thenworld however necessary and that a mum is a mum regardless of how that is
I had a spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) at 4 months pregnant while my husband was deployed. I knew the gender and had already gone in for his anatomy appointment prior to this. Was the most traumatic thing i think I've ever experienced because I kept arguing with the doctor that I felt like something was wrong and she kept ignoring me and turning me away.After multiple visits she finally told me she'd get me an ultrasound and she would even do it herself to show me nothing was wrong. Sure enough there was a baby but no heart beat. She was ghost pale when she saw the monitor and she immediately apologized and told me my options since I had a "spontaneous abortion".I was shocked that was what it was called because abortion has many political implications but really its just your body terminating a pregnancy on its own for whatever reason. She said i could either pass the pregnancy on my own( essentially give birth naturally when my body realized the baby wasn't alive) or have a DNC where they remove the pregnancy for you. I opted to wait and see what my body did because I didn't want a DNC to scar my uterus and hurt my future pregnancies. I gave birth at home by myself because I didn't trust doctors anymore. That doctor felt so bad she had the hospital red cross my husband home to take care of me and she even had the hospital pay for my baby's Urn and cremation. I'm still haunted by my experience 2 healthy babies later. Miscarriages are SO common and EVERYONE should be educated on them and medical terminology and procedures to heal from them. Hopefully the government doesn't go so far as to investigate "spontaneous abortions" now because being shamed for losing a baby would have been the icing on the cake for my traumatic experience back then.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Some people shouldn’t be in the healthcare field. I hope this doctor takes her patients health concern more seriously in the future
I'm so so sorry for your huge loss. I wish a bunch of emoticons woulds make a difference here. But that is probably disrespectful, IMHO.. I'm shocked & saddened for American women nowadays ... PLEASE KNOW, the rest of the world is NOT like this!! I'm in Canada. Our system is PRO woman. PRO family. PRO human being. PRO choice. PRO compassion. PRO empathy, and lastly ... PRO healthcare for all. ... ALL PEOPLE. We are socialist, which means that our government CARES ABOUT US ALL. No matter the issue, we can see our family doctor or the ER ... no "co-pays" and no PAYS at all. We level the playing field with things like healthcare, which means everyone, rich or poor, are cared for. Thank you for sharing your story.
@@stephanielu7694 I feel for you, I am so sorry this happened and i am thankful that you are still here. Please be sure to take good care of yourself through this grieving process and I wish you the best❤
Thanks for this video. I'm pro-choice, and very sensitive to the missed miscarriage issue as I went through it. My first baby was found to have a congenital malformation and no heartbeat, making them not viable. My body wouldn't react. I tried the medication and my body would STILL not react. I went to a hospital and the nurse was extremely distasteful telling me that in that particular hospital they couldn't do elective procedures and I basically blurted "I didn't choose this!" Having a dead baby inside me for two weeks was excruciating. I still had symptoms, but I knew nothing would come out of it. I had two more ultrasounds from doctors trying to get a full picture, since I of course had to go to a different hospital, and an irrational part of me wished both times that they would find there was a mistake and the baby was ok. Saying that this is somehow a choice is really mean to someone going through this, regardless of their political views. I'm still very much opposed to her views, but that doesn't mean I have to kick her while she's down as many seem to be doing.
The shame of it is, when denied care entirely, the risk of infection goes up tremendously. We'll literally have a third world maternal fatality rate in a first world nation, all due to idiocy on the part of leaders and ignorance on the part of the populace. Maybe they'll then learn, when every family has lost a daughter, sister or wife to infection and/or hemorrhage.
I've seen so few people state it as "I'm glad this person who was in a medical situation they didn't want to be in was able to discuss with their doctor what the best medical care for them was."
I’m glad that Jess’s had this choice. She’s had a history of hemorrhaging post delivery in the past and if draconian laws were to make a D&C illegal, someone like her, sent home to allow things to proceed naturally, could die. This is the ping that should be made here! I had a D&C after a miscarriage and also an elective termination. I’m fortunate to have had both those options.
Thank you so much for making this video. I had a similar situation although in my case it was an unexpected pregnancy. My doctor called it an "incomplete miscarriage", the fetus had no heartbeat but my body did not eject the now dead material from my body, and it was starting to decompose. If I had left it, I was pretty much guaranteed it would kill me, so I had a D&C to remove the material. I was in Texas at the time, and access to the procedure was difficult, and I lost a close friend who was so angry that I had an "abortion", despite her knowing the whole situation. It was awful and I had next to no support structure because after that, I didn't feel comfortable telling anyone about it. It wasn't until around a decade later when I started getting angry about some of the purposes anti-abortion laws that would've left me to die in that situation that my anger gave me the strength to tell my story.
She was not a friend ! I would pick my friend's life over her fetus's even if it had a heartbeat. I had 5 neighbors die in childbirth and I still have nightmares about their already born kids and relatives crying next to their coffins at their funerals. I was a teen and that made me seriously question my religious education in a patriarchal country. That is how I became pro choice, despite losing people because of my opinions.
I wish people would focus on this reason why so many are expressing hurt over Jessa's public behavior and not get stuck on medical vs social terminology, or personal attacks that clearly cross the line. I feel stories like this are so important, and that your pain matters just as much as Jessa and deserves to be shared just as much. Just because her loss is newer, doesn't mean you sharing yours or how her talk on the topic hurt you is somehow hate towards her. The potential harm needs to be talked about, and Jessa has created an obvious space for that talk. I deeply feel for Jessa, I've lost a pregnancy myself, and I hope she steps back from social media to heal. But I also feel for all those who feel the need to talk about their experiences or who may be hurt by Jessa's monetizing of a miscarriage & the required care she spoke about wanting to deny others because she never bother to learn that its not an abortion until she was effected herself.
i say we start a petition to change the medical term for miscarriage to be miscarriage instead of spontaneous abortion! That is where the misinformation starts IMO. I also blame everyone that thinks sex ed in schools should only be about abstinence. All these kids running around here knowing next to nothing except what they hear about diseases instead of facts about pregnancies and sex that can go wrong!
I had my miscarriage in Texas as well. Went in for my first check up and there was no heartbeat. This was right before Christmas and we were planning on going home to MN to be with family. I knew if I waited for it to happen on its own or if I took the pill it would mean having to be near a hospital and not traveling. The doctor in Texas made me feel like the D&C was the most dangerous and worst decision. I already felt bad enough and he made it 10x worse. I won't ever forgive that doctor for making me feel that way.
@@AmandaM76 "Spontaneous abortion" is entirely accurate. Spontaneous, meaning it just happened without an external cause. Abortion, meaning the ending of a pregnancy. A sudden ending of pregnancy.
As someone who has never been pregnant but required a D&C to deal with polyps, excessive bleeding, and precancerous tissues...I'm alive because that procedure was available to me. I need my rights to always be my rights and for my doctor and I to be the only ones who determine what is best for my body. I'm getting up to the age where I'll continue to have a uterus but no longer have it in active use, but should something go wrong with that organ 5 years, 10, 30 years down the road, please continue to protect my right to determine what I do with it, be it the choice to remove it for preventive or active medical reasons.
The trouble is that even without the rabid anti-choice legislation around abortion, those of us who have a uterus still don't get to make up our own minds about what to do with it much of the time. Want to get tubal ligation at 18 or 20 because you don't want children (or at least not biological ones)? Not a chance in hell. Especially not if you're nulliparous. After all, what happens if your husband wants babies in the future (even if you're a lesbian and adoption, IVF, surrogacy, etc exist)? Want to get a hysterectomy before you reach menopause because of any reason whatsoever, between just not wanting to have one, through to legitimately the fact that you might die if you get pregnant, or you have unbearably bad menstrual issues that more conservative treatment has failed to manage? Nope. Want to keep your uterus in place but have endometrial ablation to minimise incredibly heavy bleeding, but that will also affect your ability to carry a child? Not a chance, unless you already have kids and have written permission from your husband and a representative of all your potential future partners to allow it, regardless of if you are vehemently sure that you don't want to carry children, full stop. Not only do politicians, government representatives, lawmakers and people in general need to keep their sticky hands off our bodies and reproductive rights, but also, a (sadly way too large) portion of the medical profession who treat anyone with a uterus as though they're a stupid, ignorant, naive child who doesn't know their own mind, feelings, wants or desires or what's good for them. And that's without getting into the sexism in medicine at large that means women are more frequently dismissed, their pain is minimised, they're given less pain medication, more likely to have symptoms blamed on psychosomatic issues or stress, less aggressively investigated, referred to specialists less frequently, and treated less promptly than men who present to the same doctors and facilities with the same presentation and underlying disease. Edit: For the people who are incapable of understanding hyperbole and think that I'm being absolute and "too angry" in my comment - no, not everyone gets asked for their husband's permission, and yes, there are people out there who don't have to spend years or decades fighting for healthcare and reproductive rights. But JFC you are all missing the point which is that NOBODY should be told that stuff, and it's by FAR the majority when it comes to reproductive rights and sexism in medicine. Now, if you're all done tone policing... 🤦
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover Tell me you've never talked with a pro-life person without telling me that you've never actually talked with a group of pro-life people personally.
Agreed. I wish government just remembered that they do not have medical licenses to decide what a female does with their own uteruses & not interfered with a females decision in the privacy of medical examining room in consultation with a medical doctor.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover Its honestly ridiculous to me. How can you tell a woman her husband has to sign off on HER tubal when a man doesn't need ANY permission from his wife? I guess some doctors only care if the men want babies. MDJ has said though that she's happy to perform tubals on young patients. Plus, tubals can be reversed, as can a vasectomy.
Honestly, I think part of the problem are the stories we hear of women being put in jail for MISCARRIAGES. In law terms, they are slowly becoming the same thing, because lawmakers can't manage to differentiate them, and that's a HUGE problem. Please continue educating people on the differences, Mama Dr. Jones. Jessa, I send you the strength to pull through this, but also the compassion to learn from it. Stay safe all.
@@michelledonnanwhodoesntkno5771 Nobody's being put in jail for miscarriages. That's a fundamentally dishonest hag media telling her that & she's believed it for some reason.
@@michelledonnanwhodoesntkno5771 It's happening more and more as conservative lawmakers in (at this point in time) mostly Roman Catholic/Evangelical countries are decreeing that every miscarriage must be investigated and even prosecuted as a deliberate abortion. There are women serving long prison terms in South America for having miscarried a child -- this is happening NOW. Even in the United States, legal investigation of miscarriages has just begun -- and they have been prosecuted if law enforcement or state law is strict enough and someone thinks there may have been some behavior conducive in its eyes to pregnancy loss; it's a slippery slope from substance abuse or not being able to afford regular prenatal care to simply working "too hard" or not staying home as a responsible host. No matter your feelings for or against the deliberate abortions which I am NOT discussing here, anyone who tragically miscarries the most wanted of pregnancies is going to have to face an ever-more-adversarial atmosphere and the possible loss of their freedom to add to their grief.
This video represents exactly why I follow your content. Your determination to provide accurate, relevant content while still being respectful and not compromising who you are is wonderful. Thank you for being you!
I think some people feel the need to call out Jessa because a few years ago, she referred to legal abortion as a "baby Holocaust". Many people were understandably appalled by that, and I think some people have never quite forgiven or forgotten that she said that. Of course, having a miscarriage and then a D&C is not the same as having an elective abortion. I would never wish miscarriage on anyone, and I think Jessa deserves compassion and understanding. At the same time, I wish she would show some more compassion to people who need to have abortion care, for whatever reason.
I don’t forgive her for that (and she stands by it). I think she’s working to enact legislation that will cause harm. Because my goal is harm reduction & access to healthcare, I just cannot support doing that in retaliation.
@@MamaDoctorJonesI disagree. Highlighting the hypocrisy of someone who gets an abortion where if they lived in Texas she might not have been allowed this abortion. I realize it's a miscarriage but the procedure she needed has been denied to people in these more extreme states. Obviously I disagree with the more extreme positions but saying we cant address her hypocrisy because we want everyone to have access is functionally harmful. If we ignore the hypocrisy we allow the narrative to continue that these people restricting access to abortion are hold the high ground and no one needs an abortion. Those people are harmful and having that aired in public sucks but she chose to put herself into the public sphere. When you do that specifically about abortion I think that opens the door to scrutinizing if you have one yourself. Otherwise you're just telling people to be quiet and dont speak which isnt productive at all. 0/10 would not reccomend.
This is an interesting case to me because anti-abortion groups and individuals don't understand that people who need a D and C and D and X procedures will get caught up with their anti-abortion laws. Why I feel people need to stay out of other people's medical decisions.
When I was having my 2nd miscarriage & the nurse was going over my history & said the term "prior spontaneous abortion" I was very upset because I didn't understand what that meant. At that time I was anti-choice because I hadn't had to make that choice... Understanding definitions of medical terminology is important & so is not judging someone's choice! LOVE THIS VIDEO!!!
I'm not attacking you at all, but this really proves that medical laws need to be left to the medical profession to determine and not lawyers and politicians.
I'm an sorry for your loss and I am pleased to hear you WERE anti-choice. It's sad it takes a terrible personal experience to change someone's perspective sometimes.
I wish we had a better way of saying, I’m sorry for your loss. In the face of a miscarriage it doesn’t feel like a strong enough way to convey that empathy. But am I sorry for your losses and hope you are doing okay
I honestly never expected to see her in such a vulnerable light, and I’m really proud of her for being open about this topic. She specifically has so much shame in her family surrounding pregnancy loss, so this is actually huge her her to be so open about, and to not hide in shame.
It’s her second one and I wish she would’ve spoke out sooner. I’ve had 7 and it was one of the main deciding factors to not even try to have more babies. I couldn’t put myself through the judgement and pain anymore.
As a Scandinavian, the whole American abortion debate is just so sad, and honestly ridiculous. The lack of autonomy and proper health education in the States is downright terrifying to outsiders.
Could you elaborate on proper health education please? I’m not sure what you are reaching for with this statement. Also I’m not sure the belief system for the Scandinavian people?
@@JesusIsKing12334 I don't understand your comment. Do you not realise that most of the world has much better health and sex education than the US, and not nearly as prudish.
As an American female I am stunned, flabbergasted, honestly, I can't find the words to express how angry and terrified I am for any person with a uterus in this country. I live in a state that basically banned it completely... I'm sure you've probably heard about the 10 yr old rape victim that had to leave the state..... You are absolutely right about the lack of proper education, and sadly, it is only getting worse because of the dangerous rhetoric from the R party.
@@rennnnn914 I can assure you that @Krispy Cream was asking innocent questions. I am American and can honestly answer your question as No, I don’t know about other parts of the world. That’s why we ask questions.
I am vehemently pro-choice and will always advocate for the right of a woman to decide over what happens to her own body. However, I find it absolutely disgusting to attack a person that has just gone through an extremely traumatic experience and lost a desired pregnancy. As well as counterproductive, because it makes pro-choice activists look like lunatics. I don't agree with Jessa's opinions on choice and never will (unless she changes her mind on it, which I doubt), but I feel sorry for her and hope that she can recover from the loss she has experienced.
@@darlenesleeth-poirier1997 Fetus, not a baby. And the mothers are the actively living human beings who are going to be affected by that fetus, so yeah, they have the right to decide that for themselves. Besides, it's never an easy choice for anyone. Nobody is out here trying to get an abortion. So then, if it's best avoided, how do we most effectively do that? Contraception and sexed. Hence why access to sexed and contraception is VITAL to this discussion as well, because I have a strong feeling that 'pro life' people aren't truly in it for the safety and wellbeing of people all together, as many who are 'pro life' are also against contraception and sexed, which again would mean more abortions if access to those things gets taken away. Just saying. Get on your moral high horse all you want, that's just the simplicity of it. It is medical, and should stay medical, and politics has no place in how someone handles their health. Another point, Republicans take advantage of people like you, they take these stances without caring for anyone at all, knowing that they'll get your votes for it. That's all they want: their sweet, sweet check and power. Not that Democrats are much different. But yeah politics need to stay out of medical issues, that's the main thing here.
Ordinarily I would agree with you but Jessa chose to go public with this very personal event in her life. That's what the Duggar family does, the more private the more views and that means more money. Basically, their privacy and their children's privacy is a commodity for sale.
@@skyhiireke5027 Yup and don't let them fool you. They don't give a sh*t about the fetus either. It's a moral argument they make so they can pretend to be superior to other people. These types of people are usually very uneducated on these matters as well as indoctrinated into church and/or misogyny (internalized and otherwise) and just love to judge other people, it's their favorite hobby and/or they push their own feelings off onto others instead of allowing everyone to make the best choice for them. High Horse indeed. Also, nothing and I mean nothing at all wrong with having an abortion no matter what the reason and whether someone agonizes over it or not (not everyone does). I think it should be completely normalized like having any other surgical procedure.
@@Mellie 💯!! Definitely that too! Having an abortion is not at all related to morality, it's simply healthcare. It's incredibly saddening that there are many people who have guilt for doing such a procedure, and that needs to change. We need to start being more understanding and compassionate as a society, otherwise we really are going to screw ourselves over. I won't pass judgment on this specific person, as I think everyone has a lot of nuisance to them, but I just needed to share my thoughts on the situation and mainly the fact that many 'pro life' people vote for laws that will inevitably interfere with healthcare and cause harm.
I had a stillbirth delivery, followed by a D&C to remove the placenta. I even got to hold my son. I've recently read a lot of people thinking you cannot be able to hold your baby after a D&C. Wrong. Thank you doc
I believe that thought of not being able to hold your baby comes from the harmful misinformation campaigns surrounding D&C- I am so thankful for strong ppl like you who are willing to share their stories and help to spread the truth of what happens so that we can hopefully make the truth common knowledge.
I was a twin born in the mid-1970's. My twin's heart beat stopped at 6mo into the pregnancy. My mom had to make a decision on what to do. She had an amazing doctor who worked with her side by side to the end of her pregnancy to give me a chance at survival. She was in the early stages of labor for over three weeks and actually went 4 weeks past her due date because the doctor estimated my birth weight to be about 3 pounds at full term. Mom had a huge amount of issues delivering us since her body tried to deliver us both at the same time causing severe tearing requiring over a hundred stitches internally. However, I was born at almost 6 pounds and while deceased my brother was perfectly formed...just very small. Mom held him and said her goodbyes but obviously NEVER forgot him and ALWAYS loved him. Now she has passed and I truly believe that she finally got to hold her son again. As a survivor of such a pregnancy and having lost my twin before I got to know him my heart hurts and aches for EVERY parent and family who has lost or will ever lose a baby. The pain never leaves just becomes manageable according to my mom. Prayers and love to all of you.
I recently experienced a missed miscarriage at 6 weeks so I totally understand how she is feeling. I chose to use medication at home since my body wasn’t recognizing the loss. It was painful emotionally and physically and not my choice. I still had people comment that I killed my baby. 😢
I don’t agree with that in 2023. Not when conservatives are turning back the clock on abortions, child brides and forcing women to do things men don’t have to do. I have no compassion for a reality tv star who BY CHOICE made this event public information and literally makes a living by you reacting to her life. Showing conservatives compassion that they won’t show us has only led to abortions becoming more and more challenged.
@Ddespair Ddespair when you go at someone, especially such deeply engraned believe system, with anger and hostility, all it does is shove them deeper into that belief system. They go into defensive mode and no longer open themselves up to change their mind because it turns into right fighting. I believe it's why our country is in this state.. ego gets in the way.. calm, respectful conversations is the most effective way to help them discover their own cognitive dissonance
@@ddespairthis woman was in a vulnerable state where she had to make a decision that compromised her former belief system - her mind was more open than it ever had been - and she was met with shame and isolating hatred from the people trying to recruit her. I am avidly pro-choice and continuously disappointed and appalled by the lack of critical thinking and empathy by people who are supposed to be on my side. When the people you want to change think you’re evil, you need to prove you’re not or else this will continue to be an uphill battle.
@@jomlin143 you either don't know many people or you're very young and don't know many people. As, if one cannot hate someone up close, explain mutilation and stabbings.
I have had two missed miscarriages of very very wanted pregnancies. One I had a D&C and the other I used the “abortion pill”. It’s the worst pain and the most sadness I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. My most recent was almost 4 months ago and I am still not myself. It IS like losing a loved one. I don’t care how abhorrent I find Jessa’s and her whole family’s views, I know the pain she’s going through and having the whole internet yell at her makes the internet look bad, not her. However, I think it’s sad and frustrating that she can’t see how there are people IN HER EXACT SITUATION who are being denied miscarriage management treatment because of vague legislation she and her family push for. I agree with MDJ, this will not change her views, and I’m not even sure civil discourse would. So I do understand the anger towards her and her lack of empathy.
She deserves everything she is getting and more. She put those women in that position, she and her entire family. So no sympathy or empathy from me. You make your bed, you lie in it.
@@SarafinaSummers Someone once asked the question, is there a point to cruelty to the cruel? And, yes, there is a certain vindictiveness in being cruel to the cruel. A certain kind of justice. As you say, lie in the bed you make. But will that also not apply to you as well then? If you are cruel to the cruel, does that not also make you cruel? But did you know, we already practiced this? Cruelty to the cruel. Punishment befitting of the crime. Didn't we already do this back in 1918? And where did that lead us? I understand your pain. I feel your pain. The injustices and cruelty that's happening in USA. It's downright torture. And because I understand, I hurt for the woman who curses women of USA. Because I understand her pain. I hope you all the best.
@@SarafinaSummers Honestly, I don’t care if she does or does not suffer. I just want her and her shit family the fuck out of politics. The people screaming at her 🤷🏻♀️ I’m indifferent to it lol
As someone who had a missed miscarriage found at my 18 week appointment, I don't know how I would be able to handle this. When someone goes through a pregnancy loss, it isn't over once the pregnancy is ended. It's an ongoing rollercoaster of hormones, grief, guilt, extreme sadness, lack of closure, and the social anxiety of people walking on eggshells not wanting to bring up your loss or even ask how youre doing. I commend Jessa for sharing her story and I'm sad that because of social and medical lingo confusion, shes being harassed that she had an abortion and being called a hypocrite. She doesnt need that. No one needs that additional hurt when they're already destroyed. I wish people would have more compassion instead of finding ways to be hurtful..
Showing Jessa compassion in a moment like this might even help her see the importance of bodily autonomy and encourage a pro-choice perspective. Throwing insults and blame her way are counterproductive.
Yeh I had a missed miscarriage at 4 mths seeing no heartbreak just heartbreaking and can’t believe ppl are bashing her don’t know who she is but ppl are saying she had an abortion because I take it she has pro life views but her baby died not nice at all I agree with you it’s a horrible thing to go thorough ❤❤
I experienced the same thing as Jessa. My husband and I were so excited to see our baby at our ultrasound appointment only to find out that our baby no longer had a heartbeat. I remember lying in that room while the ultrasound technician went to get a doctor because she was having trouble finding the heartbeat. I had a d&c done and that was the hardest day of my life. Our baby that we both wanted so much was gone and there was nothing we could do. I would also like to say that I am grateful to be living in a state were women still have the right to choose. Minnesota will help any women from any state. As much as I wanted my baby and miss her everyday I still think women should have the right to choose. Thank you MDJ for explaining the difference to everyone.
I've taken the stance in my clinic (psychotherapy) that it doesn't matter. Too often women come in with this extreme guilt surrounding a miscarriage or abortion, and they are literally unable to move on from it. Society needs to butt out when it comes to women's health and reproductive health. It's not the business of some pastor's wife who is looking for an excuse to tear down a woman because it makes her feel better about herself, but it's also not the business of the activist who is going to attempt to use it against society for some political agenda. It is between the woman and her medical team. If you are not on that medical team, you have absolutely no right to speak on the situation of someone else, plain and simple.
💯- my entire stance stands on leaving people alone to make these incredibly hard and personal choices without strangers screaming at them. Usually those strangers are people like the duggars. Today, it’s people who agree w me. I can’t support either.
As someone who has had to have therapy regarding miscarriage guilt this speaks to me. I'm lucky enough to live in a country that doesn't currently have political issues around abortion as the US does. But I can't believe in 2023 that women still are struggling in 1st world countries to have bodily autonomy without political and social judgement. Your medical care is your business
This makes me so angry and sad for her. I have had 9 miscarriages, 3 of which were missed miscarriages, 3 were passed with medication at home, the last 1 I had to go back and have a d&c because it was starting to become high potential for infection. It was all traumatizing and heartbreaking.
Your story is similar to mine. Ive had 6. Im Rh- so miscarriages or SPONTANEOUS ABORTIONS, were literally in my DNA... its sad to use ones grief as a political tactic. The left can be heartless
Unfortunately, this concept of "D&C = Chosen Abortion" is also the norm in the medical community as well (non-OBGYN). I had to have an emergency one after a massive uterine hemorrhage post-insertion of an IUD (it shifted after a couple of days and nicked a blood vessel). Every time I include D&C on my medical history (because it counts as a past surgery) I get quizzed about "the pregnancy" and having stated my lack of history of any. The D&C happened when I was 21. A few years later, I had to have a Uterine Ablation, so I ~can't have kids. It's actually incredibly painful any time I get quizzed about it. I finally clued in to put that the D&C was non-pregnancy related, but only in the last year. I'm 40 now. That's almost 20 years of doctors assuming I was lying about never being pregnant and telling me so to my face. Oh, and I'm Canadian
I’m am sorry those doctors treated you so terribly. They should have believed you knew your own body and experiences. It’s bad enough the general public is so misinformed about reproductive healthcare but having actual doctors not understanding medical terminology is horrifying. It really seems like medicine (at least in US & Canada) is only taught, researched, and practiced around the typical male body
@Just one Tree unfortunately, that is exactly true. The standard body for all anatomy (and thus all diagnostic tools related to such, which is... everything) in Western Medicine is mid-30s white male. That is also the standard test subject for all medication, etc. - including those specifically intended for women/AFAB (yeah... wrap your brain around that one)
@@misscherrybombshell Speaking as a female scientist, I'd like to explain why testing is mainly done on males (sexism is only part of the story), and how this may be able to change going forwards. When you are testing anything in science (like a new medication), you are trying to eliminate as many confounding factors as possible (like natural variation between test subjects) so that any effect you see can be confidently attributed to the thing that you are testing. If you're testing on animals like mice, you usually want to be working with litter-mates who are virtually identical. If you are testing on humans, you can't just breed them to be identical (of course!), so you try to match them as closely as possible for a wide variety of factors that may affect your results (age, sex, ethnicity, weight, fitness, health conditions, etc.). This is where the challenge with testing medications/products on women comes in. Each individual woman of reproductive age isn't even a match for HERSELF at a different part of her cycle, or from cycle to cycle. So when you test something on a woman of reproductive age, it's that much harder to figure out whether any effect you think you are seeing is a result of the test product itself, or just her body's natural cyclical variation. For instance, speaking personally, I'm a very different individual physiologically when I'm on my period, compared to when I'm off it. During my period, I experience joint pain, nausea, abdominal cramps, breast discomfort, overall body swelling, extreme tiredness, etc. A scientist trying to measure any of those parameters for a product would have much harder time using me as a test subject than the average man (whose body stays fairly consistent from one day to the next). To be clear, this does NOT mean that products should never be tested on females - that's been a blind spot in medical research for far too long! It's just that this is not as simple a problem to solve as might appear at first glance. We have to work on developing better protocols for testing on females, perhaps such as the following (just brainstorming): 1) Test first on males to get a basic idea of the product's effects (or lack thereof), without the confounding effect of the female reproductive cycle complicating the initial results. Determine whether the product is promising enough to go ahead with female trials, or not worth researching further. 2) If the product is promising, collect a group of female test subjects over the course of several months, measuring their baseline state over several menstrual periods to get a detailed picture of how their bodies function before administering the test product. Use this information to assemble a well-matched, well-understood test group. 3) Administer the product to the female test subjects, at the same menstrual phase for each individual woman (rather than on the same calendar date for all of them). Then, any results obtained may be less affected by menstrual cycle variations. These are just some suggestions, but there are undoubtedly a lot more possibilities. The main point is that testing rigorously on women of reproductive age will almost always be more logistically complicated, time-consuming and costly than testing on men. However, the fact that the female reproductive cycle makes testing more challenging should NOT be an excuse to neglect testing on women - we should just care enough to rise to the challenge, and regulatory agencies should require such testing more often.
I'm so sorry you have repeatedly had this bad experience with medical professionals. As a US based medical provider I have over time learned to simply ask why my patients have things in their medical history or why they take a certain medication because there are mulitple indications for most procedures and medications. I hope that you have found a medical team that listens to you and provides you the care that your deserve.
In general, this entire situation has made me so sad. I am 27 weeks along with my second pregnancy and my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I feel so much compassion for Jessa in this situation. I also feel so sad to see some people who disagree with her politically try to force her to say that she had an abortion (social term). From what I’ve seen in the people in my life who share that sentiment, they spend a lot of time advocating for women yet they were so ready to tear apart her story of her loss. If anything, all that is going to do is further solidify the views Jessa already has. Why would she want to align herself with people who treat her this way? It’s heartbreaking.
THANK YOU for clarifying this! As someone who has had three miscarriages, two of which required D&Cs, I HATE when people suggest that I had an elective abortion. I feel for Jessa immensely and can’t thank you enough for clarifying the difference!
I still miss the child I lost almost 26 years ago. It messes with my mind a little bit to think that without that child's death we would not have the girl we do, who was born at 22 weeks eight months later. OK, now I have to put my Kleenex away.
@Bridget Szuminskyadmittedly, I'm not in particular knowledgeable about the duggers in particular, but from the crazies I've encountered they will usually say "well, if the baby is dead of course it's different." . They just think "still has a heartbeat" is equivalent to alive.
I hate that there’s any kind of stigma around any circumstance of the procedure. It’s so gross that you feel you have to explain yourself and it’s such a personal thing. This is exactly what happened because the religious right brought this into national conversation. It wasn’t anyone’s business in the first place and now we have people in all different kinds of nuances being dragged into this mud slinging propaganda fight from hell.
@Bridget Szuminsky Not quite. They do believe there is a valid reason for an abortion - that reason being when there is no fetal heartbeat, and the heartbeat stopped naturally and without any intervention. But that belief leads to situations like that of Savita Halappanavar, who died because she was refused an abortion even though she was miscarrying - because her fetus still had a heartbeat. In that case, she may have been able to get an abortion if the sepsis that eventually killed her had been identified. But there are some fundamentalist Christians who don't even support abortion in sepsis cases if there's still a heartbeat.
I personally had quite the same experience Jessa did in 2002. The most hurtful thing someone in my own family said...was accusing me of an abortion after I had a D&C. This is horrible even now. If anyone else has gone through this, my heart goes out to you.
If any of my family had said that to me after my miscarriage - it was a blighted ovum, luckily it passed completely so I didn't need a D&C, they would've been smacked until they cried "Uncle" then be told if they ever said that to me or anyone again they would be smacked repeatedly again. I don't put up with anti-abortion dumbasses at all.
Abortion does refer to symultanious abortion. And , because reproductive risks to life includes living human beings it's long past time the obsessive abuse of females is interrupted. Once upon a time the reproductive span was misdescribed as 35 years...in reality it's 63 age 4 -67. In terms of aborted potential pregnancies males in a lifetime do so +/- a trillion times. And to date at what age sperm , which take 74 days to develop, are viable is NOT studied . The obsessive harassment and emotional intellectual spiritual sexual abuse over reproductively is a chronic abuse stress. We really can just stop doing that. Abundant predictable life cycle : stop tormenting girls and women for Gods sake . Lighten up already.
As a person that has experienced loss, my heart does go out to Jessa. It's never easy. My losses we all wanted, but my hardest one that I grieve even 10 years later is the full term stillbirth of the son I never got to raise. I pray that her family is being more kind to her than the internet is in such a difficult time. Thank you Mama Doctor Jones for the excellent way you spoke about this issue of social v. medical terminology and especially for the inserted clip from a previous video about pregnancy loss.
I had the same experience 20 years ago.. I grieve for him even now.. Always felt it was my fault... I know that's not true but.. Human mind wanting to find a reason.. It will get easier but the pain will always be there..
Thank you for making this video. I had a missed miscarriage with my first and second pregnancies, both of which were IVF pregnancies and very much wanted. With the first, I had extreme morning sickness and was was throwing up immediately prior to my 7 week ultrasound. The doctor put the probe in my vagina and matter-of-factly said, "There's no heartbeat." She then told me that "these things" were "very common" and left the room. I am an educated well-read person, but I honestly had never heard of a missed miscarriage and had no idea that you could have a miscarriage without any signs and while still experiencing pregnancy symptoms. The shock of this added greatly to my trauma. I took the "abortion" pill (Misoprostol) to avoid surgery, but then bled so heavily that I needed to have an emergency D&C (I could well have died without it). I also needed a D&C for my 2nd missed miscarriage, and for an overgrown uterine lining thay had nothing to do with pregnancy. So, I have had 3 D&Cs, but none of them were "abortions" in the everyday use of the term. I am as pro-coice as anyone can possibly be, and I am grateful that I live in Canada so that I've never had to worry about whether politics would interfere with my ability to access obstetric/reproductive care. However, while I don't agree with Jessa's anti-choice stance, I appreciate anyone raising awareness about missed miscarriage. Moreover, I can have compassion for someone even if I disagree with them.
My Mother had one full term pregnancy, and the child died at 28 days due to a hole in his heart . She also had 8 miscarriages, several requiring D&C. The trauma of this was devastating to her. Back in those days, the mud 50's and early 60's, it wasn't considered something that you discussed. My Mother didn't grieve for these lost babies for 32 years. The emotional trauma she went through was devastating. I took her to my brother's grave, where she had never been, and the flood of tears and emotions was something I will never forget. My heart goes out to Jessa, speaking publicly about her miscarriage is a valiant things to do for other women going through her same experience.
@@emilymulcahy there is a possibility for a baby to survive if they are not full term. My son was born premature last year and he survived. I do not know this person, but I assumed they may have been premature and survived.
Emily- as an OB nurse, I can tell you that babies born premature but alive are not called full term simply because they were born alive. Full term is any delivery that takes place after 37 weeks. You can have a stillbirth at full term. If your baby is born prior to 37 weeks to the point of viability (@23-24 weeks) it is considered a premature or preterm delivery regardless of the outcome.
As someone who has miscarried,I can’t imagine this being spoken about so publicly online in the way it has been, and I hope she is okay. But as a sister of someone who chose to have an abortion, I can’t just overlook her and her families previous comments about women’s choice.
I would never make the argument that their advocacy is acceptable. In fact, I almost didn’t post this after reading their comments under their own video. But my position being rooted in no rationing on character judgements means I can’t ignore this narrative.
That's my feeling as well. Like one hand I have sympathy, on the other she's in support of laws that are so vague and uninformed about medical science another woman in her same situation could lose their ability to have a child in the future or even die because the doctor is afraid to preform D&C if the unviable fetus still has cardiac activity.
@@imzadi83fanvids7 yes. 💯 This video is defense of every person who has lost a pregnancy, not Jessa as an individual. Because so many who are watching this unfold feel attacked, even tho they don’t advocate to remove rights.
I have a small medical background that being said I have had many miscarriages also called spontaneous abortions in my charts. I would never kill a child in utero or otherwise. Every miscarriage I have had has been total loss of heartbeat of a fetus in utero. Not once have I ever had a procedure to cause the termination of a pregnancy. I am attempting to assist others in understanding as is Momma Dr.Jones. Spontaneous abortions are the same thing as miscarriage only in medical terminology. Abortion not being spontaneous is termination of a viable or normal pregnancy.
I have family members who are like the Duggars. They advocate for “letting the body birth the baby in its own time” this is dangerous scary stuff. They told my sister she had an abortion because she had an ectopic pregnancy and “God would Judge her” even though she almost died.
Well, then they should take no medicinal treatment at all for themself! Because if God gives an ailment it's also his to heal it! How i hate such people!
The Duggars don't have a problem with a D&C AFTER a spontaneous abortion or treatment for ectopic pregnancy, so I'm not sure why you are conflating them with your family members. They have a problem with killing babies in the womb.
God's judgement is that your sister needs love and support and that your parents forgot it's COMMANDED of them to forgive [all individuals] and that they've got to stop dropping His name for their own gains. Pretty certain there's an Exodus 20 directive about using His name for vanity. WWJD? Get your sister some chicken soup and a blessing before looking for your parents with whip in hand. He gonna flip their shit Jovial Bible stories aside, I hope your sister is doing better
There are certain people who just like to attack Jessa. I have seen her words twisted over & over. So refreshing to have someone who tells it like it is. I think it is wonderful that you are educating so many people
Well, "Mother Doctor Jones" sure the heck doesn't mind twisting Jessa's words. Saying derogatory things like she "anti choice." Mother---r Jones is evil.
@@Sexxxyism anti choice ... Does the baby have a choice.? The duggars are pro-life because babies are a blessing and a heritage. They are Christians and don't believe in abortion.
My mom had one. I'm not exactly sure why but she was told she couldn't get pregnant and then had Me. I loved you said dusting and cleaning because that's what she calls it
I had a miscarriage in my first trimester which resulted in a D&C. I had a subsequent stillbirth at 16+ weeks where I had to deliver due to the age of the baby when they passed. Loss sucks. I empathize with her and feel it's important to understand that using social words interchangeably with medical terms is harmful and excluding, because I too was shocked when I saw "Spontaneous Abortion" with my first miscarriage. I was outraged and felt like I had done something unknowingly that resulted in the loss of my pregnancy and the medical term was confusing for me in relation to how we describe when someone chooses to end a pregnancy. Be kind - we ALL have room for growth.
And from all of the American viewers that work night shifts, I'm loving the release of a video in the middle of the US night lol. It's 12:40 AM where I am, and it's rare to have new videos at this time. So I'm loving this timing lol
My mother has been pregnant a total of 3 times. The first one was a miscarriage and she had to get a D&C afterwards to avoid sepsis. The second child was born extremely premature and only lived a few hours after birth. I am her only surviving child and I too was a premature birth. My mother could get pregnant no problem her body was just unable to hold and carry the pregnancies through to full term. I cannot even imagine the amount of grief she has gone through especially having to BURY a child on top of everything else. Although I’m very grateful for my existence, I feel as if the societal pressure on women to have children pushed and caused my mother unimaginable pain and suffering.
I had a difficult time getting pregnant and I was overjoyed when after 6 years of trying I discovered that I was pregnant and when my son was born. I struggled again with getting pregnant again and yet again I was thrilled to learn that I was pregnant for the second time. My husband and I were working on choosing names and I was about 5 months along when I was told that my child had spontaneously died in utero. I was devastated. My husband and I cried and cried while we waited for my D&C. Understand that I have always been 100% pro choice and body autonomy, but when the surgical nurse informed me that they were setting up the or for my "abortion" I was almost in hysterics thinking that there was no way I would have aborted this very much wanted child. It was not until my obstetrician explained to me that the word abortion was used in the medical field as more than one way and that although the fetus was in viable, by medical terminology what I had was an abortion. I am glad that I could understand the way that one word (so much like many other words we use daily) had many different uses. Dear MDJ thanks so much for educating so much on this topic.
Exactly the same thing happened to me, 6months pregnant with my very very very wanted daughter and I lost her. In spanish we don't even have a word for miscarriage, it's all abortion, wich makes things real messy. I'm still heartbroken. I feel your pain. And yes, I'm pro choice and will always be.
I have never personally been in this situation. I am a nurse and I am a little disturbed by the use of a medical term that is so loaded without balancing it with laymen’s terms that could have brought some calm and comfort to you.
it is absolutely understandable that you would freak out when the word abortion was said to you about a very much wanted child. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that loss.
Nothing worse than going to your 12 week scan all excited then finding out the baby doesn't have a heart beat. Ever since I am so very nervous that we'll see it again, even a 20 week scan has me on edge and leading up to it.
I’m so sorry that’s were you are rn, I’ve had two losses myself but never in that way, they weren’t missed in any manner and I had no loss heartbeat moment because all was fine till it wasn’t, I do also have 2 living children as well I understand the constant fears, once I hit viability i could breathe so much easier. It’s hard but my two girls are proof thing go right as well even with horrible challenges in my case
There are many situations surrounding pregnancy and childbirth that haunt you until you do it again with the desired result. It’s control-a miscarriage is the hardest lack of control that women endure.
I am so very sad that there are so many people in this world that lack empathy and compassion for others. Hugs to anyone who has lost a baby, however they were lost. It is not for us to judge others or to decide what is best for them. Thanks for your powerful words.
Your ability to break complex issues down into simple terms, your compassion, and impartial delivery of information are unparalleled. Thank you for what you do!
Being a retired nurse, I cannot count the number of times we had women come in to have the "products of conception removed because of either a missed miscarriage or to remove what may have been left behind from an incomplete miscarriage. I am totally sure with her religious believes her decision was gut wrenching . Kudos to her for sharing her journey. It may help another women going through this.
Actually if she was Catholic (which I don’t think she is) that is a no brainer and not seen as an abortion by the church. An abortion is the intentional killing of a baby. If the baby is already dead, not an abortion. If it’s an etopic pregnancy and the baby cannot survive outside the womb, not an abortion.
I had to get a DNC when I was 18, in addition to some other procedures I can't remember the names of because the surgeon kept saying the word "scrape". I had just found out an hour before I got to the hospital that I had a Molar Pregnancy. I was told there was no fetus at all, and that the placenta tissue was growing at an alarming rate, acting like cancer. That I could hemorrhage and die. I was already dealing with the stress of not really being ready to be a parent, but I was also excited and looking forward to meeting my child. To be told that child didn't exist and that I needed to go get emergency treatment asap was so much shock all at once on top of already being stressed that I laughed hysterically before spending nearly the rest of the time between the call and passing out in the operating room dissociating. Had to get blood tests done every week for a long time after to make sure they got it all. It's been nearly two decades and I still feel broken and guilty, despite doctors telling me it wasn't my fault. Verbally attacking any woman for any reason who has gone through this, whether they chose it or not, is DISGUSTING!
I had a missed miscarriage, the baby only measured 6 weeks but I was “10 weeks”. My chart shows “missed abortion” because that’s the medical term. My doctor told me I could get the surgery, take the pill, or wait a couple more weeks to try and pass naturally. I chose to try and pass naturally and ended up bleeding way too much and passed out in the emergency room. I ended up with an emergency d&c anyway. I definitely wish I would’ve made that choice in the first place. It’s crazy that people take wording and won’t listen to anything else 🤦🏻♀️
I had a missed miscarriage in 2014. I was 9 weeks 5 days and they said the pregnancy never developed past 5 wk, if even that. No heart beat. No development. I tried to pass everything naturally. 2 months later I went in because i was still bleeding and my abdomen was tender. Ultrasound and tests showed I had a severe pelvic infection and retained tissue. Had an Emergency DnC the next morning. I was SO afraid to take the medical abortion pills or have a DnC because of stigma like this. I wish I had used one of those options right when I was diagnosed as having a missed miscarriage. The DNC was so smooth and went very well. Antibiotics cleared my infection fast. I got pregnant with my now 7 year old 2 months later and had a very healthy pregnancy. I wish 19 year old me had known it was okay to take the medical abortion route to get rid of all the tissue in one go. It would have saved me a lot of time and I probably would have grieved faster.
It's heartbreaking to hear you go through something so traumatic because of our medical environment being undermined. If it was understood that there are maybe 4x as many people in situations like yours than those who go on to give birth then there could be some mutual support. It's discouraged to disclose pregnancy before 12 weeks locally and accordingly much of the grief people feel is outside of the community support I feel necessary
I am so sorry you had to go thru that I know the sadness of that loss. I am pro life and I Had a D&E with my 7 month old in the womb baby she did not have a heartbeat and had died of a heart defect I had a autopsy done because of the blame I felt for over cleaning my windows the week before. I do not in anyway consider a medical procedure needed for women who have had a loss such as yours and mine the same as a termination of pregnancy. We did not terminate our babies. If anything it is the reason I am pro life I Know what a treasure it is to be fortunate enough to have a baby because I lost mine and I just can’t handle the fact that 1 million people choose to just throw away a baby as if it doesn’t matter but I someone who would have loved to have my Ivy Grace had to lose her. Every year I donate money on her birthday to organizations who either advocate for babies or to the parenting centers who provide things babies need to mothers who struggle in my community. It is Ivy’s birthday present I couldn’t save her but maybe I can save another baby. That has brought me comfort in some way. May you find comfort and peace.
@@debbievinsant4610 while I’m sorry for your loss, it’s disturbing you’re trying to convert people using that loss. You should try a non religious therapy instead
And that's why we, 98% of the time, use the word "termination" here in New Zealand for an unwanted pregnancy. Because we had the same arguments around "abortion" here 30 years ago, and it is clear when people speak here that they had a miscarriage of a wanted pregnancy OR they have a termination of an unwanted one. We all know the medical procedure in both instances is called an abortion, so we changed the social usage of the words.... 😊
@@ItsMeEllenB in my experience. I'm in North Manchester and everyone I know round here has been calling them terminations for at least the last 15 years. Admittedly could be social class related too. Only really hear people my mams age and older still whispering "abortion" when they talk about it. But I'm in a very left-leaning area where the change in terminology seems more widespread?
This is more pro-choice double talk. These people know that we are not trying to stop pregnancy terminations. All pregnancies terminate! The only issue is whether they terminate with a live baby or a dead one. Abortion is not about the termination of pregnancy, but the termination of human life.
This right here is why I love you and your channel so much. You take a subject that you are so passionate about, and that you know your entire fan-base is passionate about, and you talk about it while putting your emotions aside, you remain as neutral as possible, and you give credit where credit is due - and vice versa. I think you know that you could've made a video basically agreeing with the tweet you used as an example and condemned it and talked about how this is why they make no sense, and I think most of us would've probably agreed and said yeah! she's onto something!. But you didn't. You remained ethical and neutral - and only let your personal opinion be known at the end of the video, and made it clear that those two are very different. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for staying sharp and educating us all.
Thirty-seven years ago the baby we wanted so very badly died inside of me, a miscarriage. The hospital verbiage in the forms we had to sign to give permission for a D&C was called “abortion of the fetus”. Finally, I was put in L&D, where you see heavily pregnant laboring women walking the halls, hear women delivering, infants cry, then the lullaby plays on the speakers once baby is born. A huge floral arrangement with “congratulations on your new son” balloons was accidentally delivered to my room. Finally, I had to pass the baby nursery on the way out of the hospital. I wanted to die that day. Enough devastation? It was a blighted ovum. The baby had left the building. So confusing to grieving parents. That poor girl is being raked over the coals online when all she wanted was to deliver a sweet little healthy baby. I hope she gets some emotional support.
This kind of story, along with Jessa's, are the reason I am pro choice (in this case, meaning opting for care that can save the person's life or emotional sanity.) For someone to carry a child, want that child more than anything, but have it taken away so quickly and forcefully is heartbreaking... It makes it worse when a world of healthy babies are surrounding you, other people being able to feel intense joy and happiness. People thinking that you're having a baby, when in fact you're losing one. I'm 11 weeks tomorrow, everything is going good, but the thought of a miscarriage sits in the back of my mind, and if I ever had one, I would be devastated.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Heartbreaking. A big reason these terms need to be used correctly by advocates on both sides, in the legal definitions etc. So we all are talking about the same things. I hope you have found healing after your loss.
I had an 11 week miscarriage less than a year ago and it was something that I never expected and knew very little about. One day out of nowhere I just started spotting. I denied it at first and told myself it was normal. A day or two later the bleeding got heavier and then finally I had to days where the bleeding was so bad and the blood clots coming out were the size of golf balls. I had to go to the hospital and it was one of the most difficult things in my life. That was 11 months ago and I’m still not past it. When this happened to me I knew very little about miscarriage and how common it is. I think one of the reasons why there is so much ignorance about this topic is because of the lack of education. Our school systems teach about pregnancy, pregnancy prevention, they have you label the parts of the penis six million times but they never teach about miscarriage. I know how hard it was for me to lose my pregnancy, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to have a missed miscarriage and have to go through what Jessa did. At a certain point people should put their political views aside and be compassionate.
Is that accurate? As I recall history is chock full of failed pregnancy , death in child birth, and librarians ,who in USA have been firm on uncensored access to knowledge . The stunting, holding back of knowledge is generally found where liars control who knows what.
I had a missed miscarriage in February 2009. I chose the medication at home because I couldn't bear the thought of just waiting on my body to recognize it. It had already been two weeks at that point. It gets easier with time but I don't think you're ever totally past it. You're not alone though, there's a bigger community than we realize
@@pheonixrises11 other published % are higher. It's merely statistical projection given the matter is not of fact, self evident truth ,or verifiable in any shape manner or form.
@@patriciarouse16 look for the research that was done in the 90s, that invited US college students to wear a panty liner every day, and mail in the pantyliner every day. Those numbers are incredibly accurate, very high, and had a large enough subject number to accurately reflect the number of miscarriages in the age 18 to 22 group, in college. It is HIGH.
Thank you for being compassionate, level headed, thorough, and civil. This nuance and care (on top of your experience) makes you a voice that should be listened to and learned from regardless of what a person's political or ethical position is on this topic. It would be so much better if all conversations around anything OB-GYN could be had without rage.
Dear Mama Doctor Jones I don't know what to tell you except my heart breaks for you, your fellow ObGyn's and patients. When I sat here in Scandinavia, read and listened to and about USA's illigalization of what I see as a basic human right - I cried. And to Miss Jessica; we don't have the same political standpoint, but I hope for you and your family to heal from your loss. Thank you Mama Doctor Jones for your explaination of the differences in terms, as English is not my first language. As always I learn a lot. Best regards, Aase
As someone that's had a miscarriage (D&C), I think some of the outrage comes from trauma from caused by "activists" that automatically assume you're a baby killer if you need/recieve a D&C. I personally was egged in the chest by "activists" when I was being wheeled to the car. While I feel bad, I understand the sense of hypocrisy. It definitely brings a lump to my throat thinking back to that day and the people that hated me for something they made up in their own minds.
@@toriwade8073we have literally seen anti-choicers shoot doctors, bomb clinics, and harass people for going into a clinic that doesn’t even offer abortion because the crowd refuses to educate themselves on even that much
"...people that hated me for something they made up in their own minds." Well if this isn't the best summary of anti-choice ideology I don't know what is. Goes hand-in-hand with "the only moral abortion is MY abortion".
Yeah….there’s a lady on Facebook who posts videos of herself and some other outside a planned parenthood. The things they yell at or say to people is appalling.
I had a friend who miscarried after her husband beat her. She was heartbroken, and needed a d&c. So traumatic, I don't think she ever healed from that.
I mentioned this on twitter, but thank you for reiterating that d&Cs are not always related to pregnancy. My two were in a long 12 year period of (singlehood) abstinence. Also thank you for clearing up why you reacted the way you did. That did not come across in the twitter exchange.
I really appreciate your compassion, it's part of why I love watching your videos so much! I think it's so important especially when disagreeing with someone to remember that they're still a human being, and I love and appreciate how you balance information with that care - we need more of both in the world!
I had a missed miscarriage in 2012. I chose to have a d&c, mostly because I couldn't bear the thought of taking medicine and passing my baby in a toilet (no judgement for those who choose this way, just not for me). We wanted to have the remains cremated and were told to call the women's center to ask when the remains will be ready. When my husband called, the receptionist berated him saying, "We don't do that here. We have babies here." Of course, this was deeply upsetting to us, being judged by a person who works in the medical field over something out of our control. We ended up talking to the director of the hospital and told her what happened. She personally secured the remains and gave them to us. I still don't know if the person in the women's center was reprimanded. I hope so.
A close friend of mine had a similar situation. They were 8 months along when one morning baby didn't have a heartbeat. People in the community are still calling them a monster for murdering their baby. The doctor had to induce labor before sepsis set in.
Why can't people get it that this is an unfortunate, tragic situation and nobody's fault? Too many stupid, narrow minded people in this country. Last time I checked, we are in the 21st century, but you almost wouldn't know it.
That's awful. People need to start keeping their medical information to themselves. It really helps with gossip. If she wanted an abortion, that's a medical procedure and should also be kept private.
@@Essouza81 my friend really wanted the baby but one morning baby didn't have a heartbeat. They have never told me if they know what happened. Doctor hadto induce labor because baby was already starting to decompose.
My second son died in utero at 29 weeks. He had extensive congenital defects, and wasn't expected to make it to term. I had to be induced as I didn't go into labour naturally. I could have ended the pregnancy sooner, but I honestly just wanted what little time I had left with him. He wasn't suffering, and my health was fine, so I just waited.
I'm sorry for your loss. I can relate somewhat. While my child didn't die inside my body, she did die from conditions she was born with. Every moment I had with her is something I cherish now as I miss her. I am grateful you had access to the care you needed to avoid an infection or life-threatening sepsis.
That was your CHOICE. You had the right to make the decision and made the best and correct one for you. It's no one's business but yours. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you emotionally heal completely.
@Wolf-dog Cat-dog 2.0 all I did was share my experience of loss, and the choices I made and the feelings I felt. What you read into it, and your nasty attack on me says far more about you than me. You need help, seek it.
I’m so glad you made this video. People’s ignorance on this topic is alarming. I had a DNC for a non viable pregnancy. It was not an abortion. There was no life. I worked for an OBGYN and I saw SO many reasons why this was the choice. I applaud you addressing this.
Abortion is a health care procedure and it is pitiful that the perpetual reproduction enslavers use the word to sell their pornographic whim of skin bags with no education to wallow in this moronic conceit or gossip social recrimination for misogynist stupidity.
Thank you so much for making this video. I think a lot of the time when people are so passionate about issues, they loose sight of the goal itself. It can leed people to do some very cruel and destructive things that don't help anyone and even alienate others who would have been on their side. Part of a Terry Pratchett quote that has stuck with me is "revenge is not redress". Hurting someone, who is already in pain, is never the right thing to do, even if you don't like them or what they stand for.
Yes! Jessa is a garbage human but people trying to turn her loss into something it's not is equally as disgusting. Her choice for her own body isn't any less important because I think she has shitty opinions.
She's a public person and pro birth, she failed at her godly task according to her own faith. Her faith is their own making and therefore they created their own problem and cry persecution later. It's a symptom of her upbringing and what religious extremeism we tolerate in this country. Can't take it, don't dish it, she's a grown woman. I'm sure the women forced to give birth because of policies she advocates for are not shedding a tear for her at all and quite frankly the sympathy for the abuser in society is weird.
@@BrokebutCreative she's not the only one who's impacted by this! Other people who have been through this see the response she's getting and can begin to feel some of that pain themselves. Seeing this procedure called an abortion (which yes, it is, but as MDJ said that's not how we use that term in day to day talk) can really mess with people's heads. And make people who NEED the d&c hesitant to get one if they are personally against elective termination.
@NiNiMeggie did everyone else want to take away women's rights? Some other women are not her and don't share her views. The hate is directed at her hypocrisy and I wish people would separate it. She got her procedure without any public input, by the time she made her video the procedure was already done and this was a choice made privayely between her and her doctor which is hypocritical from a pro-birther. Her and and her family advocates for disregarding doctors and science and telling women you have to carry this pregnancy to term regardless because it is God's will. She should have lived by her views that she wants to force on others and let whatever naturally by god, happen. So really, no one is attacking having a procedure, they're attacking the blatant hypocrisy and maybe religious people see they're being duped by some hypocrites. There's nothing wrong holding them accountable to their views.
Thank you for taking the time to explain the differences. I had no idea that there were so many different types of abortion, I thought it was, what I now know as the social definitions. I knew that the attack on Roe VS Rade was dangerous, but the public not understanding the medical definition makes it even more dangerous. It's sad that she lost the baby, I hope she and her family find the comfort they need to move on.
You said this so well. I believe I had a spontaneous miscarriage of a pregnancy I did not know about or want when I was 19. Alone in a public bathroom. After 2 months of incredibly heavy bleeding. I’m 45 and have only started to understand what I went through because of your videos and because I started reading about miscarriage. Being raised in a super conservative anti-choice religious environment, poor sex ed with no education about what was normal and when/how to speak to a doctor about my concerns, and being terrified of my parents finding out and making me move home, and insurance that did not allow me to see the doctor of my choice let to an incredibly painful and traumatizing experience, years of gaslighting by doctors who would not take the time to listen to me left me convinced that something was horribly wrong with me and that I was permanently damaged by the sexual abuse I experienced as a very young child, and I am glad I lost that baby. I can’t imagine what woman who are connected to their pregnancies go through. And there needs to be space for all of us to talk about our experiences and be met with compassion.
This is so crazy in this day in age. My grandmother (born around 1920) had a D&C at one point. When my mother (born 1942) had a miscarriage after my brother before she conceived me, it was her mother who told her to have a D&C - true or not, my grandmother believed it was important for the health of my mother and for her ability to have another child, which she then had- she conceived me at 39 and delivered at 40. If people in born 100+ years ago were totally on board with the medical procedure - it is wild to me that people are so confused now.
It may not technically be illegal to perform a D&C for a missed miscarriage in Arkansas, but the vagueness of the law IS having an impact on willingness to perform that procedure. She is accessing a level of care that her activism helped deny to other Arkansas women.
I know that you know, I've shared your Texas video far and wide. It's just so hard to find compassion for someone who leverages their money and influence this way. Jessa received care in a medical facility, by trained professionals, to minimize her pain, preserve her health, and protect her future fertility, because she is a Duggar. Her family has money and influence. My loved one, in the same situation, was sent home to "let nature take its course." She experienced the same loss after days of excruciating pain under the care of her loving but untrained mother, because she is not a Duggar. You say they don't think this is what they're advocating for, but they do. They know exactly what they are doing to others, but they see their ability to avoid those consequences with money as a sign of divine favor. The more their money can buy them while they deny it to others the more their version of God loves them. Prosperity gospel is some messed up ideology.
I appreciate you taking the time to work through the nuance here. It’s easy to get caught up in the inflammatory nature of the internet and we need to talk more about what effective communication looks like.
You really made your point come through, I feel. What I feel your message is, and always has been; that safe choices in reproductive health should be available to anyone, anywhere, at any time. And I agree wholeheartedly. Thank you for being a voice of reason and compassion.❤️
Not long after I was born my mom unknowingly became pregnant. They think that probably at the end of her first trimester the baby passed but my mom didn’t know that. About 13 yrs later my mom had seen over a dozen gynecologists who told my mom that her random painful, extremely bloody (to the point of anemia) periods were just my mom being depressed over not being able to have more children. One day she went to the emergency room yet again for heavy bleeding a severe abdominal pain. That gynecologist told my mom that if she wanted to, he would do an intra-vaginal ultrasound telling her that it’s very painful but if she really feels that something is wrong she’ll do it and refused to do a regular ultrasound. My mom wound up having the test performed and there was a dark mass visible. They immediately scheduled her for a biopsy. My mom asked that they perform a total hysterectomy and they initially refused saying that she may want to have more kids in the future (nevermind that my mom was almost 50 at that time). She insisted on signing the paperwork just in case. When she got out of surgery they told her that she had a calcified fetus in her uterus and that there was damage to the uterus and ovaries, they were covered in cysts and it apparently had gotten infected too. If she had waited a few more days, the doctor said she would’ve died. He couldn’t believe that somehow my mom must’ve known that she was going to need a total hysterectomy. Years later I was told that when I was born over 40 yrs ago there was a dead fetus that was taken out during the c-section for my birth. It was not noticed on ultrasound. In fact they did such a fantastic job that they were never able to say what gender I would be born or notice that I had spina bifida (myelomeningocele). It’s interesting too that in spanish it’s called a spontaneous abortion (aborto espontáneo) and no one actually thinks it’s an abortion but a miscarriage.
That's a heartbreaking and insane story. ❤️ I actually saw a news story about this happening to a woman in India. She was elderly and having worsening pain in her abdomen. When they did surgery, they found a large calcified fetus inside of her that she had been carrying around for over forty years. 💔
oh shit I love your videos so much but I literally had a d&c for my missed miscarriage less than a week ago and I’m not sure if I’m emotionally strong enough to keep watching this one, let’s see… edit: should have known you’d say exactly the right thing, and glad i watched this ❤
Thank you so much for speaking out for abortion rights. I'm am thoroughly disgusted by the people who are doing everything in their power to take those rights away.
It’s always the ones who want to take it away from others who benefit from it themselves. I went to a religious school and wayyyy too many of those families voted prolife but paid for abortions for their kids anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/ it’s terrible
@@jillanglemyer3168 See that's why there's time limits on abortions.. When it's done, it's a fetus, a bunch of cells, unaware of it's own existence, not conscious. Abortions can be done for a variety of reasons(Health, wealth stance, r*pe) and NO ONE should be taking that right away.
Thank you for making this video. I think it was clarifying and compassionate. I hope you take that last 2 minutes of this video and post it everywhere because it was incredibly powerful.
Thank you! When I had a miscarriage. I was actually finding out I was pregnant and losing the baby at the same time. I was in so much pain and had a very unhealthy amount of bleeding so my doctor advised that I have a D&C before release from the hospital. I was a mess. Lots of emotions. It was a very difficult time. A time made even more difficult when I had to sign a piece of paper that listed the procedure as an abortion. My mind was all mixed up on pain medication and I kept repeating I’m not having an abortion so why does it say that I am. I was heartbroken and so stressed out that the verbiage on this piece of paper was making a terrible situation so much worse in my mind. I couldn’t think clearly. I’m by far not a sensitive person and never over react like that on a simple disagreement on terminology. It was just the intensity of the situation and the fact that I would not have chosen an abortion. The fact that anyone… anywhere could use this against someone blows my mind. I had already lost the baby. Now I needed this procedure for my own health. Not only are all these people medically incorrect but it’s just inhuman and thoughtless. Really wish they would change the terminology on this procedure when you’ve miscarried. Women are already going through probably one of the worst times in their lives. That word pulls at the heartstrings of many. Both pro-life and pro-choice women.
Thank you so much for making this video and explaining the medical perspective. As much as I’m pro-choice and disagree with everything the Duggars stand for, I feel awful that Jessa experienced this loss. I can’t imagine how painful it would be to lose your baby and have people screaming at you that you aborted (social use) it. As you said, this discourse is not helpful for getting our rights back. 😞
Thanks for this video. I've had 2 MMC and will go bath and forth between abortion and medically assisted miscarriage depending on the sphere: like medical vs. social. I remember being so scared of a d&c the first time but then I had a HORRIBLE reaction to misoprostal and went straight to the d&c with my third. I wish more people talked about MMC. Though I dont agree with them (the Duggars) I still feel for her and the bravery of sharing her story. Although I am now thinking post divorce that maybe I dont want kids anymore (or not without a lot more therapy) I will always feel deeply for anyone else that speaks on miscarriage, particularly MMC Maybe it hits me hard because 2 of my due-date-verssary this month. Those two would have been 4 and 3 years old
I hope you find the peace you deserve. Therapy does sound like a good idea. Talking to someone nonjudgmental, who listens to you and helps you navigate your emotions can make a world of difference
Your story is similar to mine. I had awful side effects of cytotec needed a D&C to stop hemorrhaging, then did a D&C with my second mmc. Which was the right call in the end cause it was a partial molar. My little angels would be 5 and 4 if they were earthside but I wouldn't have my 4 and 1 yeer old if they were here. It's crazy to think about the what ifs.
@@Nevertoleave thanks! I actually am at peace but it doesn't stop their due date time from making me sad. Its a natural part of grieving. The grieving process never stops, though it does get better with reflection and time
I really feel for Jessa. Last year after 3 completely normal and healthy pregnancies I was shocked and suprissed to find at my 9 weeks ultrasound that there was no heartbeat and that I had had a missed miscarriage. Since having 3 kids at home I chose to have a same day d&c because I didn't want to deal with it at home. Currently 31 weeks pregnant and it's still hard for me to deal with. So I feel really bad for her.
I'm sorry you went through that. I found out about the same time in a pregnancy that I had a missed miscarriage as well, but the fertility doctor I saw was part of a Catholic hospital system, so I was not offered a D&C. I was told to go home and "have a miscarriage and come back once it happens." I was offered no further treatment, care, or options. He also said after having "picked on" my partner as the one with infertility problems, he'd be picking on" me next; complete with a waggling finger. I walked out of there, went straight to the non-Catholic hospital system's OB-Gyn office, and I sat in the waiting room until someone could work me in so I could find out what my options were. I got a D&C and only went back to that other office to give them my paperwork to transfer all my medical records. I feel bad for Jessa, but I also know how this aura of "D&C is abortion, pills to help complete a miscarriage are abortion" permeate the care a lot of people dealing with miscarriage receive.
Right on! You are speaking sense, and we desperately need compassion and understanding so that this issue is more clear to everyone. Shared. Thanks for the wisdom! ❤
Thanks Dr. Jones. I have had three losses including one that required a D&C for my safety. Much time has passed and I have brought a beautiful baby girl into the world since then but based on the tears in my eyes I needed to hear again that the losses weren't my fault. I really appreciate you taking the time to say that. And to the mama's who have felt this pain know that you are not alone and IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT
I had an HCG secreting tumor. I had a positive pregnancy test and was overjoyed when I thought I finally got pregnant at 34 years old. Later, I learned it was a tumor and never a pregnancy but I felt not only like I had lost a baby but like I lost my ability to identify as a woman. This is because further testing showed that I am unable to conceive and likely have never even ovulated. None of this was my choice. I never had an abortion (in a social or medical sense) but I felt the loss. Even worse, my partner shared this information with others who claimed I was lying even though I presented documentation from my doctor. He will never trust me and I will never have biological children. I wish I had a choice in this. Therefore, I want other women to get their choice. Once you have options stolen from you, it is far more difficult to even consider removing what we currently consider to be a right for others (this applies to far more than pregnancy).
You… need to talk to him about this, that’s not something that you should just ignore. I hope your okay and find happiness, no matter what troubles you face.
@@CruzinCait If he believes his FRIENDS over you, his wife, and literal medical documentation, then you have a husband problem, I'm afraid. The fact that you say he won't ever trust you is almost as heartbreaking as your story of infertility. I hope that, in future, you can resolve this issue and will be with someone who loves AND trusts you.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover We are not, never were, and never will be married. This happened almost two years ago now. We still have trust issues and, though I will always care for him, I don't see myself ever having a committed relationship again, or any relationship really. I have other things in my life to fill that space. Dogs love unconditionally. I love my career. I have many hobbies. I am fine. I am at a point where I am able to move on from my experience and use it to guide others. The moral of the story here is that sometimes things happen TO a person and humanity needs to find compassion for these people in their greatest time of need, putting aside their political beliefs until the human is helped. Let's flip the conversation a bit. If you were at some sort of rally, holding a big, heavy sign detailing your passion and you saw a random pedestrian get hit by a car... would you care about the sign in that moment or would you run to the person to help them? If you were the pedestrian, what would you want/need?
@@daniellebeisell7528 OK, so the way that it was worded sounded that you were still a couple - and apologies if I inserted "husband" I must have misread. But I'm glad that you aren't with him anymore. What on earth does the car accident have to do with it? I don't disagree with any of your points. I was simply saying that if you were still with someone like that, you deserved to be with someone that didn't treat you like garbage... I'm sorry that you took that to be some kind of negative/insult? I'm not sure how but... there we go. It's possible to care about multiple things at once.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover It's perfectly fine. I'm not upset. I know text may convey emotions that aren't necessarily meant. I appreciate your concern. Truly. That is the main point here. The example of the car accident at the rally is meant to redirect the conversation back to caring and compassion while taking the specificity of abortion policy out of the equation. I feel like we have lost the ability to first treat our patients like humans in need before considering our needs or wants (when we are healthy and able to help). If we look at the situation in a different context (the car accident victim) do we have a different knee jerk reaction? If so, why? It's just a thought experiment.
Wow, thanks for actually covering this with, well, reason. Regardless of your views on the abortion issue (I'm gonna side step that one myself here because it's largely irrelevant for my comment), I'm glad you went ahead and made a very fact based, medically informative video, while retaining compassion for the person who suffered the loss. It's unfortunately a rare trait nowadays that people actually stick with the facts and remember that regardless of your political views, the person in the story is suffering a real loss/heartbreak. I get the desire to go ahead and politicize this, given the views of the person, but you dealt with this in a respectful, fact based manor which is pretty awesome. Thanks for the informative video, MDJ! Edit: as a side note, I'm also just personally fascinated with the difference between the scientific definition of a word and the colloquial use of said word. I actually spent a good hour and a half or so debating this distinction with my best friend once, though admittedly was on a politically neutral topic. We were literally arguing about what the word "berry" means, as I promise you the scientific definition and the social definition are almost entirely discordant. There's almost zero overlap lol, and that got us into a debate for hours. Also, yes, we're both a bit nerdy lol
Thank you for your insight and commentary. What a heartbreaking situation. My heart goes out to her and anyone who has experienced loss like this, as well as every person who has ever chosen to terminate a pregnancy. There is no universe in which making that choice is easy. Every person should be able to have whatever medical procedure is necessary for their health and wellbeing, period. Thank you for everything you do, Mama Dr. Jones.
A DNC when the mother is bleeding and no heartbeat is a miscarriage and taking care of the mother’s health. I had a miscarriage with my 4th and the doctor Insisted on it for my health.
You don't have to be bleeding. My d&c accidentally found fetal death the next day. I waited 5 days before a second ultrasound confirmed no heartbeat (my choice) and was in surgery same day. All with no blood or cramping or any hint things were wrong other than the morning sickness had stopped
@caljones38 Sorry, this is inaccurate. A D&C has NOTHING to do with whether you can label something a miscarriage, abortion, or any other uterus-related event. That's like saying using a screwdriver determines whether you built a house, a shed or a lawnmower. The D&C is the tool that is used for many purposes, only some of which are related to miscarriages or abortions. I don't mean to be pedantic, but the whole point of this video is to clarify language so we can communicate better. @evelynkrull5268, it's true that bleeding is irrelevant to whether a miscarriage is taking place or not, but the rest of your statement makes no sense. You would not have a D&C and find out later there is no heartbeat. A D&C is used to *remove everything* from the space inside the uterus, whether fetus, placenta, or other tissue. There would be no fetus to *have* a heartbeat (or not) the next day.
Mama Dr Jones is one of the very rare youtubers who net a positive on RUclips. I really hope her videos are around when my daughter enters puberty and when she decides to have a child. Keep it up Mamma, you rock! (And this is from a mom who leans to the right)
This video was very informative and insightful. I learned a lot and am continuously grateful for your compassionate perspective and shared medical expertise. Thank you!
I’ve had FOUR miscarriages. I’ve had 4 D and C procedures. When a fetus unfortunately passes on or stops developing, these are needed procedures to save a woman’s physical and mental health. The fact that some people are dragging This poor woman through the dirt after she’s experienced such a terrible loss, are showing their inadequate education and frankly their ability to have empathy or sympathy. I applaud Jessa for telling her story and for showing her heart for all to see. I’m not a fan of hers or her family, but I have tremendous sympathy for her loss. No woman deserves to be beaten up for this.
Not only did she have the courage to share, but amid the backlash she doubled down and explained this was her second D&C due to miscarriage. I have a lot of respect for that, knowing being honest would just add fuel to the fire.
it shows who are the actual monsters. sure her family and her are not saints but she actually had a loss. a d and c and suffers from it. i am also sorry this happened to you :( i hope you will find or have already happiness and joy no matter how your life will go
I was raised pro-life and taught it was one of the most important things we could care about. Even when I moved away from my conservative background when it came to gay rights and other things, I still felt strongly about pro-life values. Study on my part helped me move a little away from the idea that legislation could fix it and toward needing social change to help young families, but I was still not ok with it. It took a lot of education, conversations with women, and a firm belief in not legislating my own spiritual beliefs to finally realize I could be firm in my belief that I should not get an abortion, but also believe it is not my place to tell anyone else what they should do. It took a while to understand that was pro-choice. It was exposure to compassionate stories alongside real educational resources that helped me get there. Your discussion would have helped me change, the discourse on Twitter would have shut me down. Thank you for sharing reason on a complicated topic.
Some people call themselves pro-life, despite saying abortion should be allowed in some cases. The most common are when the pregnancy threatens the mother’s life or health, when the pregnancy resulted from rape or incest, or when the unborn child is disabled. Other people even call themselves pro-life simply because they say that elective abortion should be legal only during the first trimester.
@@toriwade8073 I just honestly never considered that my expanding mindset actually meant being pro-choice. I know I still have biases and things I am working through. A friend pointed it out when I said, "I could honestly never imagine getting one myself, but I don't think I have the right to tell others." They were like "yeah, pro-choice." I think part of it is being told that people want abortions. It warps you to think like it is celebrated, not just healthcare. So simply thinking rationally about options and scenarios doesn't feel like it makes you "one of those people" we were told about. There was a lot of indoctrination we didn't realize we were getting.
Thank you for sharing your insight. I think it's an important reinforcement of what Dr Jones is saying here. People yelling at somebody who is grieving would never have changed your mind - time and compassion are the key.
Same for me. I am very against abortion in concept, but I am not a perfect being, capable of judgement, so I am pro-choice. Each woman has to make their own choices for their lives and their bodies.
Exactly how I feel! I would never get an elective abortion myself, but having experienced first hand the complexity of pregnancy, miscarriage, giving birth, post-partum, I would never impose a certain treatment on anyone. We also have examples of draconian anti-choice legislation at both extremes: Communist Romania forbidding abortion very strictly (leading to many dead women and orphanages full of disabled and mistreated children) vs. One-child policy of China (also contributing to lots of suffering and eventually terminated)
Thank you for this! You've phrased it so well: we cannot ration our compassion for others based on character judgements. I, too, have been (and am) guilty of this because it's such an automatic response. We will only heal and advance as a society if we can address our need to make excuses to marginalize, denigrate, or oppress others. We all do it to someone and it takes active effort to change, but the change can be made with practice and commitment.
I realized when I had a miscarriage that I that a weirdly high number of people, think a D&C is an abortion. I had pretty much the same experience as her, except there was no bleeding, no cramps. I went to a completely normal ultrasound appointment, and found out there was no heartbeat. The doctor said that I would probably have a "normal" miscarriage within a couple days. That didn't happen, and I needed a D&C. A lot of my friends insisted I had an abortion, because they had had them, and couldn't wrap their heads around any other reason for a D&C. They called me a liar.
I'm so glad you talked about this. As awful as that family is, as much as anyone disagrees or agrees with their views, this is something that should never be used politically or as a "gotcha"; it's a tragedy, and should be taken as such. It's not gonna change her views, especially with people being cruel to her about it. People really need to find something better to do with their time.
@@stoppit9 Compassion is free. She's still a person, and should be treated with dignity. Piling more bad onto bad doesn't make any of it better. If someone feels that they can't engage in a civil way, they should just move on and ignore her. Block her, even. There's no point to being mean for the sake of being mean, I guarantee she likely won't read your message, and it will just make you feel bad while you're sending it and engaging.
@@stoppit9 "she and her family were cruel first" sounds like a sibling who shouts "she started it!" when they get tattled on to mommy. You have to be either very young or extremely immature if you choose to respond this way to the bad behavior of others, which is the entire reason why MDJ made this video. Take away any public knowledge of Jessa Sewald and her family and we are left with a woman experiencing an excruciatingly painful loss and describing the medical procedure that she endured to prevent her own death. She deserves compassion and empathy. If people are unable to offer that, then they should remain silent because this is NOT the time to be shaming her. That's what anti-choicers would do in this scenario.
I am from the country (Poland) that has abortion banned almost completely. More than that, there were people that wanted to make it that the pregnant person is arrested in case of miscarriage and has to prove that they didn’t cause it (imagine having been interrogated at the worse possible time, the time of immense grief and pain). Fortunately that didn’t pass. Not so long ago a woman died after the doctors refused to perform D&C after she was brought to hospital about 20 weeks pregnant and the doctors discovered that she had not enough of amniotic fluid and the fetus had severe abnormalities and eventually passed away. Because of their controversial views on abortion they refused the procedure that the woman wanted. There was no way to save the baby. The woman became septic and died leaving her older, very much alive kids at home without their mom and family members devastated……and most women in the country…..extremely angry! Her unfair and unneeded death caused number of huge protests in my home country. Not to mention weeks before that happened Poland basically banned abortion in case of fetal deformities and that was the very reason the doctors refused to perform D&C. The woman lost her life and her loved ones lost a wife and mom because of incorrect and insane beliefs. How was her life and lives of her other kids and husband any different than the life of the fetus that couldn’t be saved anyway? Loss of very much wanted pregnancy is devastating and shaming someone going through such terrible thing and pouring her feelings out is horrible and simply wrong!
Did you watch the video? Nobody wants people to get arrested for miscarriage. I'm a political extremist and even I don't want that. I have been to Washington DC, I've traveled to multiple state capitals to lobby for bills... I've spent my life speaking at and talking to pro-lifers. I've literally met thousands of them. Nobody. Has. Ever. Wanted. To. Prosecute. Miscarriage.
You're just repeating a silly lie you heard on the news.
This will happen in America. It's just a matter of time.
But that's what the Theocrats want.
@@YoYo_Ma Every pro-lifer in the comments: "I don't want this and I've never met ANYONE who wants this"
Every pro-choicer in the comments: "PRO-LIFERS WANT THIS!!!!11"
lolol just goes to show how out of touch the pro-choice side is with reality. They don't even know the arguments they oppose
😂
It's honestly frightening. The protests did nothing.The comments are frightening too. It seems hate against women is increasing.
@@ruaraidh74 oh that's exactly what pro-lifers want. You people don't care about living beings, you don't care about mother dying or about children suffering in abusive families or the foster system. Don't pretend you want something different. You only care to control other people's choices and be sure that you will all burn in hell for it. God doesn't like people like you who force their opinions on others and take away rights from other human beings.
This hits hard. In 1969 my mom lost a baby at 18 weeks due to the German Measles. She had to have a therapeutic abortion to remove the baby. Because it was 1969, she had to go in front of a hospital board (all men) asking her why she wanted to kill her baby. Her baby that was already dead inside of her. After the procedure, which we firmly believe was only granted because my own father was a doctor, they made her stay in the hospital for five days to recover. In the maternity ward. An eight bed ward where they kept bringing in the newborns to their mothers to feed. She’s 81 now and still says that they did that to punish her. PUNISH HER, for a baby that she dearly wanted. My mother is the biggest pro choice advocate today and literally cries over what’s going on in The U.S. right now. She was treated like garbage at the lowest point in her life because of a bunch of pro life bigots. she’s never forgiven them.
Thank you for sharing your mum’s story, it absolutely broke my heart and I can’t imagine what she went through. It is so tragic to see the US backsliding to the dark ages. No one should ever be punished in that way ever, ever again.
My Sister was stillborn and my Mom was in the same situation. I'm not sure they had private rooms then so there was probably nowhere else to put her.
@@ltlredhen4177 I’m sure you’re right, but maybe they could have put her on another floor? I just know that they’re so much better now with pregnancy loss, it’s a blessing. Our mom’s went through hell.
Was the board THAT ignorant that they assumed the baby had to be still alive, regardless of all evidence? Talk about willful blindness.
@@graceg3250 From what my mom has told me, they wanted her to carry her until her body evacuated her naturally. Any ‘rush to remove the baby’ was seen as a negative. now, today (and lord, I hope then) we know the risks to the mother for carrying a dead fetus longer than needed, but they really seemed to feel that if she elected to have the D&C then she WANTED the baby gone. I tell you, my mom should be a public speaker on this topic. I’m 57 and even after all of these years when she speaks of it she has me both deeply entranced in her story and bawling my eyes out at the same time.
My mom had to have a D&C to reduce endometrial tissue because she couldn't get pregnant (PCOS) and the nurse was so awful to her about getting "an abortion" when she wasn't pregnant in the first place and wanted to _be_ pregnant desperately
I hate people so much sometimes :(
The nurse needed to be reported and the hospital reported as well.
Jfc that makes me mad.
That's really awful. I'm so sorry
My mom would have prolonged bleeding during her periods and would become anemic. Eventually the doctor put her on older birth control to stop her periods, but then she'd require a d&c to remove excessive built-up lining so she wouldn't be in pain due to it.
Two missed miscarriages in a row here. Second one I hemorrhaged. Was raced to ER and given an ultrasound. The male tech stated maybe I would remember this the next time I decided to destroy my baby. I was stunned: I told him I had a dnc because my baby died and he said dubiously "yeah that's what they all say". He also went out of his way to make the UA more painful.
I filled a complaint with that hospital, but he was a traveling temp and was long gone. I will never be alone with a male ultrasound tech again.
Whoaaaa. That's so wrong.
I am so sorry you had to hear that.. It says how some people have been poisoned by these wrong ideas..
@@emaliciously I'm sorry hun 😔
What was his name
I've had friends wonder why a male in his late 30s from the Midwest subscribes to this channel. This video is a great example as to why, granted there are definitely some videos that I feel like an outsider. With that said, I do have an 8 year old daughter and you've really helped me be more honest with her and answer her questions. I also feel more confident (although still terrified) for the teenage years
Thank you for all that you do
Thanks for being an informed dad. Probably a good dad, too.
Stay that course! Honesty and communication are the key to a healthy child growing into a healthy adult. You will find yourself wanting to holler at the top of your lungs because you know what she's doing isn't great.. but listen, just listen. Let her know that she can always come to you for advice, even if she doesn't take it, you will always be honest and try to help her through the difficulties ahead. She's going to make mistakes. Help her learn from them without judgement (bite your tongue until it bleeds!)
A great question for your daughter in a bad situation is "what can we learn from this and how can we avoid it in the future?" instead of yelling or punishment. We all go through this, it's easy to lose our cool. However, it's more important to come out the other side with knowledge of how to cope the next time around.
-best of luck, from the mom of a wonderful, strong 25 year old daughter. 🥰
I think the idea of "stay in your lane" is incredibly toxic and counter productive. If more progressive people are afraid to discuss issues limited to certain demographics, such as trans rights for transgender people or reproductive rights for AFAB people, we will end up ignorant and powerless. Because there are people out there very happy to get into others' lanes and take away rights. Only as a united front can we hope to curtail the power of people trying to take away those rights piecemeal.
I think it's wonderful for men to be feminists, for cishet people to be queer allies, for white people to march for BLM. None of us are strong enough as individual minorities to hold back the rising tide of horror. So yeah, I'm glad for your daughter that you are educated on these topics. But you don't have to have a daughter to care. Good on you for finding and sticking with this most excellent educator.
You are an incredible father for educating yourself so that you can also educate your daughter. 💗
Your daughter is lucky to have a dad like you!
“You didn’t have a miscarriage, you had an abortion” reminds me of people who say “you didn’t give birth, you had a c-section”…
This video topic definitely irked me and although rare the logic can also go the other way. My mum had me and my brother vaginally me with no complications just a long labour and my brothers birth had bad complications had her sisters who had c section births tell her and me that she's not a real mother because she never "put herself through the painful sacrifices to bring her kids into the world like they did by not doing c section births" despite the fact that they knew she and my brother could have died because my brother had a huge head and got stuck. This was back in 2003 and something that has never quite left me
@@Nekogal21 I am sorry, please tell me if I misunderstood this: a woman who gives birth via C-section is not a real mother?
@@tihanadunic6185 in my mums case 2 c section mothers said that mothers who don't go through a c section birth aren't real mothers because they didn't put themselves through the pain basically saying that c section mums are the only real ones
@@Nekogal21 what the hell?!
I am sorry, I am a bit shocked, cause I've heard this the other way round, so often, and don't need to say it's wrong, but this is a next level.
@@tihanadunic6185 some people just aren't logically sound unfortunately. I'm just all for getting the baby into thenworld however necessary and that a mum is a mum regardless of how that is
I had a spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) at 4 months pregnant while my husband was deployed. I knew the gender and had already gone in for his anatomy appointment prior to this. Was the most traumatic thing i think I've ever experienced because I kept arguing with the doctor that I felt like something was wrong and she kept ignoring me and turning me away.After multiple visits she finally told me she'd get me an ultrasound and she would even do it herself to show me nothing was wrong. Sure enough there was a baby but no heart beat. She was ghost pale when she saw the monitor and she immediately apologized and told me my options since I had a "spontaneous abortion".I was shocked that was what it was called because abortion has many political implications but really its just your body terminating a pregnancy on its own for whatever reason. She said i could either pass the pregnancy on my own( essentially give birth naturally when my body realized the baby wasn't alive) or have a DNC where they remove the pregnancy for you. I opted to wait and see what my body did because I didn't want a DNC to scar my uterus and hurt my future pregnancies. I gave birth at home by myself because I didn't trust doctors anymore. That doctor felt so bad she had the hospital red cross my husband home to take care of me and she even had the hospital pay for my baby's Urn and cremation. I'm still haunted by my experience 2 healthy babies later. Miscarriages are SO common and EVERYONE should be educated on them and medical terminology and procedures to heal from them. Hopefully the government doesn't go so far as to investigate "spontaneous abortions" now because being shamed for losing a baby would have been the icing on the cake for my traumatic experience back then.
There are already teens in prison in the South, for spontaneous abortions. Infuriatingly, it is already happening.....
I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
Some people shouldn’t be in the healthcare field. I hope this doctor takes her patients health concern more seriously in the future
I'm so so sorry for your huge loss. I wish a bunch of emoticons woulds make a difference here. But that is probably disrespectful, IMHO..
I'm shocked & saddened for American women nowadays ... PLEASE KNOW, the rest of the world is NOT like this!! I'm in Canada. Our system is PRO woman. PRO family. PRO human being. PRO choice. PRO compassion. PRO empathy, and lastly ... PRO healthcare for all. ... ALL PEOPLE.
We are socialist, which means that our government CARES ABOUT US ALL. No matter the issue, we can see our family doctor or the ER ... no "co-pays" and no PAYS at all. We level the playing field with things like healthcare, which means everyone, rich or poor, are cared for.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I just lost my twins and almost died myself in the process because multiple doctors wouldn't listen to me
@@stephanielu7694 I feel for you, I am so sorry this happened and i am thankful that you are still here. Please be sure to take good care of yourself through this grieving process and I wish you the best❤
Thanks for this video. I'm pro-choice, and very sensitive to the missed miscarriage issue as I went through it. My first baby was found to have a congenital malformation and no heartbeat, making them not viable. My body wouldn't react. I tried the medication and my body would STILL not react. I went to a hospital and the nurse was extremely distasteful telling me that in that particular hospital they couldn't do elective procedures and I basically blurted "I didn't choose this!" Having a dead baby inside me for two weeks was excruciating. I still had symptoms, but I knew nothing would come out of it. I had two more ultrasounds from doctors trying to get a full picture, since I of course had to go to a different hospital, and an irrational part of me wished both times that they would find there was a mistake and the baby was ok. Saying that this is somehow a choice is really mean to someone going through this, regardless of their political views. I'm still very much opposed to her views, but that doesn't mean I have to kick her while she's down as many seem to be doing.
Thank you, and very well stated.
The shame of it is, when denied care entirely, the risk of infection goes up tremendously. We'll literally have a third world maternal fatality rate in a first world nation, all due to idiocy on the part of leaders and ignorance on the part of the populace.
Maybe they'll then learn, when every family has lost a daughter, sister or wife to infection and/or hemorrhage.
@@spvillano we already rank as the 5th worst nation when it comes to maternal mortality rate in the world
I'm sorry for your loss
That nurse should choose another job if she doesn't have the eq needed for it imo
@@QueenScorpioSews yep! And it seems, some are trying to make us #1 in worst. Literally, third world all the way for them, or bust.
I've seen so few people state it as "I'm glad this person who was in a medical situation they didn't want to be in was able to discuss with their doctor what the best medical care for them was."
This response is absolutely the effective way for that discourse to happen.
This is absolutely the perfect response that simplifies it to the reality in which it is 👍🏻
I’m glad that Jess’s had this choice. She’s had a history of hemorrhaging post delivery in the past and if draconian laws were to make a D&C illegal, someone like her, sent home to allow things to proceed naturally, could die. This is the ping that should be made here! I had a D&C after a miscarriage and also an elective termination. I’m fortunate to have had both those options.
@@Kathleen_Pepper but she says abortion is wrong. Funny how it’s okay for her to get one to save herself. Thought she would just go be with god.
@@ontxtteredwxngs Rewatch this video. Not only are you missing the point about social and medical semantics, you are also missing the compassion.
Thank you so much for making this video. I had a similar situation although in my case it was an unexpected pregnancy. My doctor called it an "incomplete miscarriage", the fetus had no heartbeat but my body did not eject the now dead material from my body, and it was starting to decompose. If I had left it, I was pretty much guaranteed it would kill me, so I had a D&C to remove the material. I was in Texas at the time, and access to the procedure was difficult, and I lost a close friend who was so angry that I had an "abortion", despite her knowing the whole situation. It was awful and I had next to no support structure because after that, I didn't feel comfortable telling anyone about it. It wasn't until around a decade later when I started getting angry about some of the purposes anti-abortion laws that would've left me to die in that situation that my anger gave me the strength to tell my story.
She was not a friend ! I would pick my friend's life over her fetus's even if it had a heartbeat. I had 5 neighbors die in childbirth and I still have nightmares about their already born kids and relatives crying next to their coffins at their funerals. I was a teen and that made me seriously question my religious education in a patriarchal country. That is how I became pro choice, despite losing people because of my opinions.
I wish people would focus on this reason why so many are expressing hurt over Jessa's public behavior and not get stuck on medical vs social terminology, or personal attacks that clearly cross the line. I feel stories like this are so important, and that your pain matters just as much as Jessa and deserves to be shared just as much. Just because her loss is newer, doesn't mean you sharing yours or how her talk on the topic hurt you is somehow hate towards her.
The potential harm needs to be talked about, and Jessa has created an obvious space for that talk. I deeply feel for Jessa, I've lost a pregnancy myself, and I hope she steps back from social media to heal. But I also feel for all those who feel the need to talk about their experiences or who may be hurt by Jessa's monetizing of a miscarriage & the required care she spoke about wanting to deny others because she never bother to learn that its not an abortion until she was effected herself.
i say we start a petition to change the medical term for miscarriage to be miscarriage instead of spontaneous abortion! That is where the misinformation starts IMO. I also blame everyone that thinks sex ed in schools should only be about abstinence. All these kids running around here knowing next to nothing except what they hear about diseases instead of facts about pregnancies and sex that can go wrong!
I had my miscarriage in Texas as well. Went in for my first check up and there was no heartbeat. This was right before Christmas and we were planning on going home to MN to be with family. I knew if I waited for it to happen on its own or if I took the pill it would mean having to be near a hospital and not traveling. The doctor in Texas made me feel like the D&C was the most dangerous and worst decision. I already felt bad enough and he made it 10x worse. I won't ever forgive that doctor for making me feel that way.
@@AmandaM76 "Spontaneous abortion" is entirely accurate. Spontaneous, meaning it just happened without an external cause. Abortion, meaning the ending of a pregnancy. A sudden ending of pregnancy.
As someone who has never been pregnant but required a D&C to deal with polyps, excessive bleeding, and precancerous tissues...I'm alive because that procedure was available to me. I need my rights to always be my rights and for my doctor and I to be the only ones who determine what is best for my body. I'm getting up to the age where I'll continue to have a uterus but no longer have it in active use, but should something go wrong with that organ 5 years, 10, 30 years down the road, please continue to protect my right to determine what I do with it, be it the choice to remove it for preventive or active medical reasons.
Same here! Four D & C’s due to polyps and hyperplasia.
The trouble is that even without the rabid anti-choice legislation around abortion, those of us who have a uterus still don't get to make up our own minds about what to do with it much of the time.
Want to get tubal ligation at 18 or 20 because you don't want children (or at least not biological ones)? Not a chance in hell. Especially not if you're nulliparous. After all, what happens if your husband wants babies in the future (even if you're a lesbian and adoption, IVF, surrogacy, etc exist)?
Want to get a hysterectomy before you reach menopause because of any reason whatsoever, between just not wanting to have one, through to legitimately the fact that you might die if you get pregnant, or you have unbearably bad menstrual issues that more conservative treatment has failed to manage? Nope.
Want to keep your uterus in place but have endometrial ablation to minimise incredibly heavy bleeding, but that will also affect your ability to carry a child? Not a chance, unless you already have kids and have written permission from your husband and a representative of all your potential future partners to allow it, regardless of if you are vehemently sure that you don't want to carry children, full stop.
Not only do politicians, government representatives, lawmakers and people in general need to keep their sticky hands off our bodies and reproductive rights, but also, a (sadly way too large) portion of the medical profession who treat anyone with a uterus as though they're a stupid, ignorant, naive child who doesn't know their own mind, feelings, wants or desires or what's good for them.
And that's without getting into the sexism in medicine at large that means women are more frequently dismissed, their pain is minimised, they're given less pain medication, more likely to have symptoms blamed on psychosomatic issues or stress, less aggressively investigated, referred to specialists less frequently, and treated less promptly than men who present to the same doctors and facilities with the same presentation and underlying disease.
Edit: For the people who are incapable of understanding hyperbole and think that I'm being absolute and "too angry" in my comment - no, not everyone gets asked for their husband's permission, and yes, there are people out there who don't have to spend years or decades fighting for healthcare and reproductive rights. But JFC you are all missing the point which is that NOBODY should be told that stuff, and it's by FAR the majority when it comes to reproductive rights and sexism in medicine. Now, if you're all done tone policing... 🤦
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover Tell me you've never talked with a pro-life person without telling me that you've never actually talked with a group of pro-life people personally.
Agreed. I wish government just remembered that they do not have medical licenses to decide what a female does with their own uteruses & not interfered with a females decision in the privacy of medical examining room in consultation with a medical doctor.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover Its honestly ridiculous to me.
How can you tell a woman her husband has to sign off on HER tubal when a man doesn't need ANY permission from his wife? I guess some doctors only care if the men want babies. MDJ has said though that she's happy to perform tubals on young patients. Plus, tubals can be reversed, as can a vasectomy.
Honestly, I think part of the problem are the stories we hear of women being put in jail for MISCARRIAGES. In law terms, they are slowly becoming the same thing, because lawmakers can't manage to differentiate them, and that's a HUGE problem. Please continue educating people on the differences, Mama Dr. Jones.
Jessa, I send you the strength to pull through this, but also the compassion to learn from it. Stay safe all.
Amen!
Honestly, I don't think anyone is being put in jail for miscarriages. I think that's a fundamentally dishonest media lying for clicks.
Wait put in jail for miscarriages? What? 🤨
@@michelledonnanwhodoesntkno5771 Nobody's being put in jail for miscarriages. That's a fundamentally dishonest hag media telling her that & she's believed it for some reason.
@@michelledonnanwhodoesntkno5771 It's happening more and more as conservative lawmakers in (at this point in time) mostly Roman Catholic/Evangelical countries are decreeing that every miscarriage must be investigated and even prosecuted as a deliberate abortion.
There are women serving long prison terms in South America for having miscarried a child -- this is happening NOW. Even in the United States, legal investigation of miscarriages has just begun -- and they have been prosecuted if law enforcement or state law is strict enough and someone thinks there may have been some behavior conducive in its eyes to pregnancy loss; it's a slippery slope from substance abuse or not being able to afford regular prenatal care to simply working "too hard" or not staying home as a responsible host. No matter your feelings for or against the deliberate abortions which I am NOT discussing here, anyone who tragically miscarries the most wanted of pregnancies is going to have to face an ever-more-adversarial atmosphere and the possible loss of their freedom to add to their grief.
This video represents exactly why I follow your content. Your determination to provide accurate, relevant content while still being respectful and not compromising who you are is wonderful. Thank you for being you!
I'm happy that MDJ stayed respectful while discussing a very heated topic (bodily autonomy and healthcare).
Could not have said it better.
❤ you Dr. Jones.
I think some people feel the need to call out Jessa because a few years ago, she referred to legal abortion as a "baby Holocaust". Many people were understandably appalled by that, and I think some people have never quite forgiven or forgotten that she said that. Of course, having a miscarriage and then a D&C is not the same as having an elective abortion. I would never wish miscarriage on anyone, and I think Jessa deserves compassion and understanding. At the same time, I wish she would show some more compassion to people who need to have abortion care, for whatever reason.
I don’t forgive her for that (and she stands by it). I think she’s working to enact legislation that will cause harm. Because my goal is harm reduction & access to healthcare, I just cannot support doing that in retaliation.
@@toriwade8073- oh, grow up, whinging and whining . We get it, you're upset.
@@MamaDoctorJonesI disagree. Highlighting the hypocrisy of someone who gets an abortion where if they lived in Texas she might not have been allowed this abortion. I realize it's a miscarriage but the procedure she needed has been denied to people in these more extreme states. Obviously I disagree with the more extreme positions but saying we cant address her hypocrisy because we want everyone to have access is functionally harmful. If we ignore the hypocrisy we allow the narrative to continue that these people restricting access to abortion are hold the high ground and no one needs an abortion. Those people are harmful and having that aired in public sucks but she chose to put herself into the public sphere. When you do that specifically about abortion I think that opens the door to scrutinizing if you have one yourself. Otherwise you're just telling people to be quiet and dont speak which isnt productive at all. 0/10 would not reccomend.
This is an interesting case to me because anti-abortion groups and individuals don't understand that people who need a D and C and D and X procedures will get caught up with their anti-abortion laws. Why I feel people need to stay out of other people's medical decisions.
@@elizabethalban754 exactly highlighting that hypocrisy is very important.
When I was having my 2nd miscarriage & the nurse was going over my history & said the term "prior spontaneous abortion" I was very upset because I didn't understand what that meant. At that time I was anti-choice because I hadn't had to make that choice...
Understanding definitions of medical terminology is important & so is not judging someone's choice! LOVE THIS VIDEO!!!
I'm not attacking you at all, but this really proves that medical laws need to be left to the medical profession to determine and not lawyers and politicians.
I'm an sorry for your loss and I am pleased to hear you WERE anti-choice. It's sad it takes a terrible personal experience to change someone's perspective sometimes.
👍
In Norwegian we call a miscarriage a “spontanabort”, so we don’t run into this problem
I wish we had a better way of saying, I’m sorry for your loss. In the face of a miscarriage it doesn’t feel like a strong enough way to convey that empathy. But am I sorry for your losses and hope you are doing okay
I honestly never expected to see her in such a vulnerable light, and I’m really proud of her for being open about this topic. She specifically has so much shame in her family surrounding pregnancy loss, so this is actually huge her her to be so open about, and to not hide in shame.
It’s her second one and I wish she would’ve spoke out sooner. I’ve had 7 and it was one of the main deciding factors to not even try to have more babies. I couldn’t put myself through the judgement and pain anymore.
As a Scandinavian, the whole American abortion debate is just so sad, and honestly ridiculous. The lack of autonomy and proper health education in the States is downright terrifying to outsiders.
Could you elaborate on proper health education please? I’m not sure what you are reaching for with this statement. Also I’m not sure the belief system for the Scandinavian people?
@@JesusIsKing12334 I don't understand your comment. Do you not realise that most of the world has much better health and sex education than the US, and not nearly as prudish.
it's terrifying to people who live here too, we're tired (or at least I am, but I doubt it's just me)
As an American female I am stunned, flabbergasted, honestly, I can't find the words to express how angry and terrified I am for any person with a uterus in this country. I live in a state that basically banned it completely... I'm sure you've probably heard about the 10 yr old rape victim that had to leave the state..... You are absolutely right about the lack of proper education, and sadly, it is only getting worse because of the dangerous rhetoric from the R party.
@@rennnnn914 I can assure you that @Krispy Cream was asking innocent questions. I am American and can honestly answer your question as No, I don’t know about other parts of the world. That’s why we ask questions.
I am vehemently pro-choice and will always advocate for the right of a woman to decide over what happens to her own body. However, I find it absolutely disgusting to attack a person that has just gone through an extremely traumatic experience and lost a desired pregnancy. As well as counterproductive, because it makes pro-choice activists look like lunatics.
I don't agree with Jessa's opinions on choice and never will (unless she changes her mind on it, which I doubt), but I feel sorry for her and hope that she can recover from the loss she has experienced.
Seewald knew she would be attacked, which is why she made the video.
@@darlenesleeth-poirier1997 Fetus, not a baby. And the mothers are the actively living human beings who are going to be affected by that fetus, so yeah, they have the right to decide that for themselves. Besides, it's never an easy choice for anyone. Nobody is out here trying to get an abortion. So then, if it's best avoided, how do we most effectively do that? Contraception and sexed. Hence why access to sexed and contraception is VITAL to this discussion as well, because I have a strong feeling that 'pro life' people aren't truly in it for the safety and wellbeing of people all together, as many who are 'pro life' are also against contraception and sexed, which again would mean more abortions if access to those things gets taken away. Just saying. Get on your moral high horse all you want, that's just the simplicity of it. It is medical, and should stay medical, and politics has no place in how someone handles their health.
Another point, Republicans take advantage of people like you, they take these stances without caring for anyone at all, knowing that they'll get your votes for it. That's all they want: their sweet, sweet check and power. Not that Democrats are much different. But yeah politics need to stay out of medical issues, that's the main thing here.
Ordinarily I would agree with you but Jessa chose to go public with this very personal event in her life. That's what the Duggar family does, the more private the more views and that means more money. Basically, their privacy and their children's privacy is a commodity for sale.
@@skyhiireke5027 Yup and don't let them fool you. They don't give a sh*t about the fetus either. It's a moral argument they make so they can pretend to be superior to other people. These types of people are usually very uneducated on these matters as well as indoctrinated into church and/or misogyny (internalized and otherwise) and just love to judge other people, it's their favorite hobby and/or they push their own feelings off onto others instead of allowing everyone to make the best choice for them.
High Horse indeed.
Also, nothing and I mean nothing at all wrong with having an abortion no matter what the reason and whether someone agonizes over it or not (not everyone does). I think it should be completely normalized like having any other surgical procedure.
@@Mellie 💯!! Definitely that too! Having an abortion is not at all related to morality, it's simply healthcare. It's incredibly saddening that there are many people who have guilt for doing such a procedure, and that needs to change. We need to start being more understanding and compassionate as a society, otherwise we really are going to screw ourselves over.
I won't pass judgment on this specific person, as I think everyone has a lot of nuisance to them, but I just needed to share my thoughts on the situation and mainly the fact that many 'pro life' people vote for laws that will inevitably interfere with healthcare and cause harm.
I had a stillbirth delivery, followed by a D&C to remove the placenta. I even got to hold my son.
I've recently read a lot of people thinking you cannot be able to hold your baby after a D&C. Wrong. Thank you doc
I believe that thought of not being able to hold your baby comes from the harmful misinformation campaigns surrounding D&C- I am so thankful for strong ppl like you who are willing to share their stories and help to spread the truth of what happens so that we can hopefully make the truth common knowledge.
I was a twin born in the mid-1970's. My twin's heart beat stopped at 6mo into the pregnancy. My mom had to make a decision on what to do. She had an amazing doctor who worked with her side by side to the end of her pregnancy to give me a chance at survival. She was in the early stages of labor for over three weeks and actually went 4 weeks past her due date because the doctor estimated my birth weight to be about 3 pounds at full term. Mom had a huge amount of issues delivering us since her body tried to deliver us both at the same time causing severe tearing requiring over a hundred stitches internally. However, I was born at almost 6 pounds and while deceased my brother was perfectly formed...just very small. Mom held him and said her goodbyes but obviously NEVER forgot him and ALWAYS loved him. Now she has passed and I truly believe that she finally got to hold her son again. As a survivor of such a pregnancy and having lost my twin before I got to know him my heart hurts and aches for EVERY parent and family who has lost or will ever lose a baby. The pain never leaves just becomes manageable according to my mom. Prayers and love to all of you.
Maybe people are confusing a D&C (dilation and curettage) with a D&E (dilation and evacuation).
I recently experienced a missed miscarriage at 6 weeks so I totally understand how she is feeling. I chose to use medication at home since my body wasn’t recognizing the loss. It was painful emotionally and physically and not my choice. I still had people comment that I killed my baby. 😢
They're wrong. 😥❤
So sorry.
Those people don’t deserve a place in your life and I hope you have a way to avoid them. I am so sorry for what happened
Since we can't change stuborn and ignorant people's minds, it's best to keep your buisness private and not go on social media.
Those people are morons! I am so sorry for your loss
The number one way to change someone's mind on a topic it to approach them with compassion and not dehumanize them
I don’t agree with that in 2023. Not when conservatives are turning back the clock on abortions, child brides and forcing women to do things men don’t have to do. I have no compassion for a reality tv star who BY CHOICE made this event public information and literally makes a living by you reacting to her life. Showing conservatives compassion that they won’t show us has only led to abortions becoming more and more challenged.
@Ddespair Ddespair when you go at someone, especially such deeply engraned believe system, with anger and hostility, all it does is shove them deeper into that belief system. They go into defensive mode and no longer open themselves up to change their mind because it turns into right fighting. I believe it's why our country is in this state.. ego gets in the way.. calm, respectful conversations is the most effective way to help them discover their own cognitive dissonance
You can't hate people up close.
@@ddespairthis woman was in a vulnerable state where she had to make a decision that compromised her former belief system - her mind was more open than it ever had been - and she was met with shame and isolating hatred from the people trying to recruit her. I am avidly pro-choice and continuously disappointed and appalled by the lack of critical thinking and empathy by people who are supposed to be on my side. When the people you want to change think you’re evil, you need to prove you’re not or else this will continue to be an uphill battle.
@@jomlin143 you either don't know many people or you're very young and don't know many people.
As, if one cannot hate someone up close, explain mutilation and stabbings.
I have had two missed miscarriages of very very wanted pregnancies. One I had a D&C and the other I used the “abortion pill”. It’s the worst pain and the most sadness I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. My most recent was almost 4 months ago and I am still not myself. It IS like losing a loved one. I don’t care how abhorrent I find Jessa’s and her whole family’s views, I know the pain she’s going through and having the whole internet yell at her makes the internet look bad, not her.
However, I think it’s sad and frustrating that she can’t see how there are people IN HER EXACT SITUATION who are being denied miscarriage management treatment because of vague legislation she and her family push for. I agree with MDJ, this will not change her views, and I’m not even sure civil discourse would. So I do understand the anger towards her and her lack of empathy.
This is worded perfectly! ❤
She deserves everything she is getting and more. She put those women in that position, she and her entire family. So no sympathy or empathy from me. You make your bed, you lie in it.
@@SarafinaSummers Someone once asked the question, is there a point to cruelty to the cruel? And, yes, there is a certain vindictiveness in being cruel to the cruel. A certain kind of justice. As you say, lie in the bed you make.
But will that also not apply to you as well then? If you are cruel to the cruel, does that not also make you cruel?
But did you know, we already practiced this? Cruelty to the cruel. Punishment befitting of the crime. Didn't we already do this back in 1918?
And where did that lead us?
I understand your pain. I feel your pain. The injustices and cruelty that's happening in USA. It's downright torture.
And because I understand, I hurt for the woman who curses women of USA. Because I understand her pain.
I hope you all the best.
@@SarafinaSummers Honestly, I don’t care if she does or does not suffer. I just want her and her shit family the fuck out of politics. The people screaming at her 🤷🏻♀️ I’m indifferent to it lol
So sorry for your losses 😔. Thank you for sharing your story, to help educate others, and I hope you and your loved ones find peace soon ❤️
As someone who had a missed miscarriage found at my 18 week appointment, I don't know how I would be able to handle this. When someone goes through a pregnancy loss, it isn't over once the pregnancy is ended. It's an ongoing rollercoaster of hormones, grief, guilt, extreme sadness, lack of closure, and the social anxiety of people walking on eggshells not wanting to bring up your loss or even ask how youre doing. I commend Jessa for sharing her story and I'm sad that because of social and medical lingo confusion, shes being harassed that she had an abortion and being called a hypocrite. She doesnt need that. No one needs that additional hurt when they're already destroyed. I wish people would have more compassion instead of finding ways to be hurtful..
I'm so sorry for your loss. We similarly found out we lost our twins at 18 weeks. I hope you've been able to find some healing and support.
Showing Jessa compassion in a moment like this might even help her see the importance of bodily autonomy and encourage a pro-choice perspective. Throwing insults and blame her way are counterproductive.
Yeh I had a missed miscarriage at 4 mths seeing no heartbreak just heartbreaking and can’t believe ppl are bashing her don’t know who she is but ppl are saying she had an abortion because I take it she has pro life views but her baby died not nice at all I agree with you it’s a horrible thing to go thorough ❤❤
I experienced the same thing as Jessa. My husband and I were so excited to see our baby at our ultrasound appointment only to find out that our baby no longer had a heartbeat. I remember lying in that room while the ultrasound technician went to get a doctor because she was having trouble finding the heartbeat. I had a d&c done and that was the hardest day of my life. Our baby that we both wanted so much was gone and there was nothing we could do.
I would also like to say that I am grateful to be living in a state were women still have the right to choose. Minnesota will help any women from any state. As much as I wanted my baby and miss her everyday I still think women should have the right to choose. Thank you MDJ for explaining the difference to everyone.
So sorry to hear this. That is so sad best wishes to you and your husband!
So sorry for that. However that is not intentional therefore not elective abortion
@@bogartmotomoto8222no one said it was.
I've taken the stance in my clinic (psychotherapy) that it doesn't matter. Too often women come in with this extreme guilt surrounding a miscarriage or abortion, and they are literally unable to move on from it. Society needs to butt out when it comes to women's health and reproductive health. It's not the business of some pastor's wife who is looking for an excuse to tear down a woman because it makes her feel better about herself, but it's also not the business of the activist who is going to attempt to use it against society for some political agenda. It is between the woman and her medical team. If you are not on that medical team, you have absolutely no right to speak on the situation of someone else, plain and simple.
💯- my entire stance stands on leaving people alone to make these incredibly hard and personal choices without strangers screaming at them.
Usually those strangers are people like the duggars. Today, it’s people who agree w me.
I can’t support either.
Finally someone that says something that makes sense
As someone who has had to have therapy regarding miscarriage guilt this speaks to me. I'm lucky enough to live in a country that doesn't currently have political issues around abortion as the US does. But I can't believe in 2023 that women still are struggling in 1st world countries to have bodily autonomy without political and social judgement. Your medical care is your business
So maybe don't make a 17 minute RUclips video about it?
@@danih2972 right
This makes me so angry and sad for her.
I have had 9 miscarriages, 3 of which were missed miscarriages, 3 were passed with medication at home, the last 1 I had to go back and have a d&c because it was starting to become high potential for infection.
It was all traumatizing and heartbreaking.
And it's sad people that would call that an abortion when the baby dies and you wanted it and not purposely killing it because you don't want it
And miscarriages are common. That is Not an abortion
Your story is similar to mine. Ive had 6. Im Rh- so miscarriages or SPONTANEOUS ABORTIONS, were literally in my DNA... its sad to use ones grief as a political tactic. The left can be heartless
i'm so sorry you went through all this sadness
I'm so so sorry for your loss ❤❤
Unfortunately, this concept of "D&C = Chosen Abortion" is also the norm in the medical community as well (non-OBGYN). I had to have an emergency one after a massive uterine hemorrhage post-insertion of an IUD (it shifted after a couple of days and nicked a blood vessel). Every time I include D&C on my medical history (because it counts as a past surgery) I get quizzed about "the pregnancy" and having stated my lack of history of any.
The D&C happened when I was 21. A few years later, I had to have a Uterine Ablation, so I ~can't have kids. It's actually incredibly painful any time I get quizzed about it. I finally clued in to put that the D&C was non-pregnancy related, but only in the last year. I'm 40 now. That's almost 20 years of doctors assuming I was lying about never being pregnant and telling me so to my face.
Oh, and I'm Canadian
I’m am sorry those doctors treated you so terribly. They should have believed you knew your own body and experiences.
It’s bad enough the general public is so misinformed about reproductive healthcare but having actual doctors not understanding medical terminology is horrifying. It really seems like medicine (at least in US & Canada) is only taught, researched, and practiced around the typical male body
@Just one Tree unfortunately, that is exactly true. The standard body for all anatomy (and thus all diagnostic tools related to such, which is... everything) in Western Medicine is mid-30s white male. That is also the standard test subject for all medication, etc. - including those specifically intended for women/AFAB (yeah... wrap your brain around that one)
@@misscherrybombshell Speaking as a female scientist, I'd like to explain why testing is mainly done on males (sexism is only part of the story), and how this may be able to change going forwards.
When you are testing anything in science (like a new medication), you are trying to eliminate as many confounding factors as possible (like natural variation between test subjects) so that any effect you see can be confidently attributed to the thing that you are testing. If you're testing on animals like mice, you usually want to be working with litter-mates who are virtually identical. If you are testing on humans, you can't just breed them to be identical (of course!), so you try to match them as closely as possible for a wide variety of factors that may affect your results (age, sex, ethnicity, weight, fitness, health conditions, etc.).
This is where the challenge with testing medications/products on women comes in. Each individual woman of reproductive age isn't even a match for HERSELF at a different part of her cycle, or from cycle to cycle. So when you test something on a woman of reproductive age, it's that much harder to figure out whether any effect you think you are seeing is a result of the test product itself, or just her body's natural cyclical variation. For instance, speaking personally, I'm a very different individual physiologically when I'm on my period, compared to when I'm off it. During my period, I experience joint pain, nausea, abdominal cramps, breast discomfort, overall body swelling, extreme tiredness, etc. A scientist trying to measure any of those parameters for a product would have much harder time using me as a test subject than the average man (whose body stays fairly consistent from one day to the next).
To be clear, this does NOT mean that products should never be tested on females - that's been a blind spot in medical research for far too long! It's just that this is not as simple a problem to solve as might appear at first glance. We have to work on developing better protocols for testing on females, perhaps such as the following (just brainstorming):
1) Test first on males to get a basic idea of the product's effects (or lack thereof), without the confounding effect of the female reproductive cycle complicating the initial results. Determine whether the product is promising enough to go ahead with female trials, or not worth researching further.
2) If the product is promising, collect a group of female test subjects over the course of several months, measuring their baseline state over several menstrual periods to get a detailed picture of how their bodies function before administering the test product. Use this information to assemble a well-matched, well-understood test group.
3) Administer the product to the female test subjects, at the same menstrual phase for each individual woman (rather than on the same calendar date for all of them). Then, any results obtained may be less affected by menstrual cycle variations.
These are just some suggestions, but there are undoubtedly a lot more possibilities. The main point is that testing rigorously on women of reproductive age will almost always be more logistically complicated, time-consuming and costly than testing on men. However, the fact that the female reproductive cycle makes testing more challenging should NOT be an excuse to neglect testing on women - we should just care enough to rise to the challenge, and regulatory agencies should require such testing more often.
I'm so sorry you have repeatedly had this bad experience with medical professionals. As a US based medical provider I have over time learned to simply ask why my patients have things in their medical history or why they take a certain medication because there are mulitple indications for most procedures and medications. I hope that you have found a medical team that listens to you and provides you the care that your deserve.
@@richardfeverel99so why were they mostly white men?
In general, this entire situation has made me so sad. I am 27 weeks along with my second pregnancy and my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I feel so much compassion for Jessa in this situation. I also feel so sad to see some people who disagree with her politically try to force her to say that she had an abortion (social term). From what I’ve seen in the people in my life who share that sentiment, they spend a lot of time advocating for women yet they were so ready to tear apart her story of her loss. If anything, all that is going to do is further solidify the views Jessa already has. Why would she want to align herself with people who treat her this way? It’s heartbreaking.
THANK YOU for clarifying this! As someone who has had three miscarriages, two of which required D&Cs, I HATE when people suggest that I had an elective abortion. I feel for Jessa immensely and can’t thank you enough for clarifying the difference!
I still miss the child I lost almost 26 years ago. It messes with my mind a little bit to think that without that child's death we would not have the girl we do, who was born at 22 weeks eight months later. OK, now I have to put my Kleenex away.
@Bridget Szuminskyadmittedly, I'm not in particular knowledgeable about the duggers in particular, but from the crazies I've encountered they will usually say "well, if the baby is dead of course it's different." .
They just think "still has a heartbeat" is equivalent to alive.
@Bridget Szuminsky this 👏🏻 👏🏻
I hate that there’s any kind of stigma around any circumstance of the procedure. It’s so gross that you feel you have to explain yourself and it’s such a personal thing. This is exactly what happened because the religious right brought this into national conversation. It wasn’t anyone’s business in the first place and now we have people in all different kinds of nuances being dragged into this mud slinging propaganda fight from hell.
@Bridget Szuminsky Not quite. They do believe there is a valid reason for an abortion - that reason being when there is no fetal heartbeat, and the heartbeat stopped naturally and without any intervention.
But that belief leads to situations like that of Savita Halappanavar, who died because she was refused an abortion even though she was miscarrying - because her fetus still had a heartbeat. In that case, she may have been able to get an abortion if the sepsis that eventually killed her had been identified. But there are some fundamentalist Christians who don't even support abortion in sepsis cases if there's still a heartbeat.
I personally had quite the same experience Jessa did in 2002. The most hurtful thing someone in my own family said...was accusing me of an abortion after I had a D&C. This is horrible even now. If anyone else has gone through this, my heart goes out to you.
If any of my family had said that to me after my miscarriage - it was a blighted ovum, luckily it passed completely so I didn't need a D&C, they would've been smacked until they cried "Uncle" then be told if they ever said that to me or anyone again they would be smacked repeatedly again. I don't put up with anti-abortion dumbasses at all.
@NotMykl I lived in a different state. It was said to me over the phone, and honestly, that made it even worse.
An older relative made a similar comment after mine in 2018. It is very hurtful 💜
Abortion does refer to symultanious abortion. And , because reproductive risks to life includes living human beings it's long past time the obsessive abuse of females is interrupted.
Once upon a time the reproductive span was misdescribed as 35 years...in reality it's 63 age 4 -67.
In terms of aborted potential pregnancies males in a lifetime do so +/- a trillion times. And to date at what age sperm , which take 74 days to develop, are viable is NOT studied .
The obsessive harassment and emotional intellectual spiritual sexual abuse over reproductively is a chronic abuse stress. We really can just stop doing that.
Abundant predictable life cycle : stop tormenting girls and women for Gods sake . Lighten up already.
@@patriciarouse16 I have no idea what that has to do with my comment.
As a person that has experienced loss, my heart does go out to Jessa. It's never easy. My losses we all wanted, but my hardest one that I grieve even 10 years later is the full term stillbirth of the son I never got to raise. I pray that her family is being more kind to her than the internet is in such a difficult time. Thank you Mama Doctor Jones for the excellent way you spoke about this issue of social v. medical terminology and especially for the inserted clip from a previous video about pregnancy loss.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that 💔
I had the same experience 20 years ago.. I grieve for him even now.. Always felt it was my fault... I know that's not true but.. Human mind wanting to find a reason.. It will get easier but the pain will always be there..
Thank you for making this video.
I had a missed miscarriage with my first and second pregnancies, both of which were IVF pregnancies and very much wanted. With the first, I had extreme morning sickness and was was throwing up immediately prior to my 7 week ultrasound. The doctor put the probe in my vagina and matter-of-factly said, "There's no heartbeat." She then told me that "these things" were "very common" and left the room. I am an educated well-read person, but I honestly had never heard of a missed miscarriage and had no idea that you could have a miscarriage without any signs and while still experiencing pregnancy symptoms. The shock of this added greatly to my trauma. I took the "abortion" pill (Misoprostol) to avoid surgery, but then bled so heavily that I needed to have an emergency D&C (I could well have died without it). I also needed a D&C for my 2nd missed miscarriage, and for an overgrown uterine lining thay had nothing to do with pregnancy. So, I have had 3 D&Cs, but none of them were "abortions" in the everyday use of the term.
I am as pro-coice as anyone can possibly be, and I am grateful that I live in Canada so that I've never had to worry about whether politics would interfere with my ability to access obstetric/reproductive care. However, while I don't agree with Jessa's anti-choice stance, I appreciate anyone raising awareness about missed miscarriage. Moreover, I can have compassion for someone even if I disagree with them.
My Mother had one full term pregnancy, and the child died at 28 days due to a hole in his heart . She also had 8 miscarriages, several requiring D&C. The trauma of this was devastating to her. Back in those days, the mud 50's and early 60's, it wasn't considered something that you discussed. My Mother didn't grieve for these lost babies for 32 years. The emotional trauma she went through was devastating. I took her to my brother's grave, where she had never been, and the flood of tears and emotions was something I will never forget.
My heart goes out to Jessa, speaking publicly about her miscarriage is a valiant things to do for other women going through her same experience.
We're you adopted or did she have two full term pregnancies one resulting in you and one that resulted in your sibling who died at 28 days?
@@emilymulcahy there is a possibility for a baby to survive if they are not full term. My son was born premature last year and he survived. I do not know this person, but I assumed they may have been premature and survived.
@@marjuracek I knew that but typically even premies are called full term if they are born alive since they lived, even if just for a while
Emily- as an OB nurse, I can tell you that babies born premature but alive are not called full term simply because they were born alive. Full term is any delivery that takes place after 37 weeks. You can have a stillbirth at full term. If your baby is born prior to 37 weeks to the point of viability (@23-24 weeks) it is considered a premature or preterm delivery regardless of the outcome.
@@emilymulcahy I'm adopted
As someone who has miscarried,I can’t imagine this being spoken about so publicly online in the way it has been, and I hope she is okay. But as a sister of someone who chose to have an abortion, I can’t just overlook her and her families previous comments about women’s choice.
I would never make the argument that their advocacy is acceptable. In fact, I almost didn’t post this after reading their comments under their own video. But my position being rooted in no rationing on character judgements means I can’t ignore this narrative.
That's my feeling as well. Like one hand I have sympathy, on the other she's in support of laws that are so vague and uninformed about medical science another woman in her same situation could lose their ability to have a child in the future or even die because the doctor is afraid to preform D&C if the unviable fetus still has cardiac activity.
Well its Twitter, IDK why people haven't lean yet that its just an outrage farm.
@@imzadi83fanvids7 yes. 💯
This video is defense of every person who has lost a pregnancy, not Jessa as an individual. Because so many who are watching this unfold feel attacked, even tho they don’t advocate to remove rights.
I have a small medical background that being said I have had many miscarriages also called spontaneous abortions in my charts. I would never kill a child in utero or otherwise. Every miscarriage I have had has been total loss of heartbeat of a fetus in utero. Not once have I ever had a procedure to cause the termination of a pregnancy. I am attempting to assist others in understanding as is Momma Dr.Jones. Spontaneous abortions are the same thing as miscarriage only in medical terminology. Abortion not being spontaneous is termination of a viable or normal pregnancy.
I have family members who are like the Duggars. They advocate for “letting the body birth the baby in its own time” this is dangerous scary stuff. They told my sister she had an abortion because she had an ectopic pregnancy and “God would Judge her” even though she almost died.
Well, then they should take no medicinal treatment at all for themself!
Because if God gives an ailment it's also his to heal it!
How i hate such people!
The Duggars don't have a problem with a D&C AFTER a spontaneous abortion or treatment for ectopic pregnancy, so I'm not sure why you are conflating them with your family members. They have a problem with killing babies in the womb.
God's judgement is that your sister needs love and support and that your parents forgot it's COMMANDED of them to forgive [all individuals] and that they've got to stop dropping His name for their own gains.
Pretty certain there's an Exodus 20 directive about using His name for vanity.
WWJD?
Get your sister some chicken soup and a blessing before looking for your parents with whip in hand. He gonna flip their shit
Jovial Bible stories aside, I hope your sister is doing better
That is awful of them :'-(
They are so addicted to the idea of sacrifice that they happily will let family die.
There are certain people who just like to attack Jessa. I have seen her words twisted over & over. So refreshing to have someone who tells it like it is. I think it is wonderful that you are educating so many people
She twists her words all on her own and this woman and her family hate anyone who isn’t a straight white Christian.
Well, "Mother Doctor Jones" sure the heck doesn't mind twisting Jessa's words. Saying derogatory things like she "anti choice." Mother---r Jones is evil.
@@Sexxxyism anti choice ... Does the baby have a choice.? The duggars are pro-life because babies are a blessing and a heritage. They are Christians and don't believe in abortion.
@jaymie-lee doesn't meant they have a right to legislate those beliefs onto everyone else.
My grandmother was a nurse and used to call D&C: Dusting and Cleaning. Growing up, I didn't even know it was related to pregnancy loss.
My mom had one. I'm not exactly sure why but she was told she couldn't get pregnant and then had Me. I loved you said dusting and cleaning because that's what she calls it
D& c stands for dilation and curettage
Just in case people don't know :)
I have heard it called that also.... Lol
My mom called it that as well. I remember she had one when I was in high school but no idea why
I had a miscarriage in my first trimester which resulted in a D&C. I had a subsequent stillbirth at 16+ weeks where I had to deliver due to the age of the baby when they passed. Loss sucks. I empathize with her and feel it's important to understand that using social words interchangeably with medical terms is harmful and excluding, because I too was shocked when I saw "Spontaneous Abortion" with my first miscarriage. I was outraged and felt like I had done something unknowingly that resulted in the loss of my pregnancy and the medical term was confusing for me in relation to how we describe when someone chooses to end a pregnancy. Be kind - we ALL have room for growth.
Another Baby killer
But that is what happened. A spontaneous abortion. Teh medical term. No shame, no blame. Just empathy for women who have suffered a loss
From all of us kiwi viewers, we love you and are so proud that you are here .
And from all of the American viewers that work night shifts, I'm loving the release of a video in the middle of the US night lol. It's 12:40 AM where I am, and it's rare to have new videos at this time. So I'm loving this timing lol
Aussie mum of 2 perfectly grown adults, I've retained an interest in this area for all my life.
I just pictured several hundred people crowded around a phone watching this.
@@VeraBean literally that is whats happening right now
I love when doctors come in and give the actual facts. People are so misinformed and for what
👏 👏 👏 👩 👩⚕️ 🧠 🗣️ 🌍 🌎 🙏 🙌
My mother has been pregnant a total of 3 times. The first one was a miscarriage and she had to get a D&C afterwards to avoid sepsis. The second child was born extremely premature and only lived a few hours after birth. I am her only surviving child and I too was a premature birth. My mother could get pregnant no problem her body was just unable to hold and carry the pregnancies through to full term. I cannot even imagine the amount of grief she has gone through especially having to BURY a child on top of everything else. Although I’m very grateful for my existence, I feel as if the societal pressure on women to have children pushed and caused my mother unimaginable pain and suffering.
I had a difficult time getting pregnant and I was overjoyed when after 6 years of trying I discovered that I was pregnant and when my son was born. I struggled again with getting pregnant again and yet again I was thrilled to learn that I was pregnant for the second time. My husband and I were working on choosing names and I was about 5 months along when I was told that my child had spontaneously died in utero. I was devastated. My husband and I cried and cried while we waited for my D&C.
Understand that I have always been 100% pro choice and body autonomy, but when the surgical nurse informed me that they were setting up the or for my "abortion" I was almost in hysterics thinking that there was no way I would have aborted this very much wanted child. It was not until my obstetrician explained to me that the word abortion was used in the medical field as more than one way and that although the fetus was in viable, by medical terminology what I had was an abortion. I am glad that I could understand the way that one word (so much like many other words we use daily) had many different uses.
Dear MDJ thanks so much for educating so much on this topic.
Exactly the same thing happened to me, 6months pregnant with my very very very wanted daughter and I lost her. In spanish we don't even have a word for miscarriage, it's all abortion, wich makes things real messy. I'm still heartbroken. I feel your pain. And yes, I'm pro choice and will always be.
I have never personally been in this situation. I am a nurse and I am a little disturbed by the use of a medical term that is so loaded without balancing it with laymen’s terms that could have brought some calm and comfort to you.
@@rociorodriguez589 I'm sorry for your loss (even though I don't think any language has the right words for losing a child).
it is absolutely understandable that you would freak out when the word abortion was said to you about a very much wanted child. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that loss.
Nothing worse than going to your 12 week scan all excited then finding out the baby doesn't have a heart beat. Ever since I am so very nervous that we'll see it again, even a 20 week scan has me on edge and leading up to it.
I’m so sorry that’s were you are rn, I’ve had two losses myself but never in that way, they weren’t missed in any manner and I had no loss heartbeat moment because all was fine till it wasn’t, I do also have 2 living children as well I understand the constant fears, once I hit viability i could breathe so much easier. It’s hard but my two girls are proof thing go right as well even with horrible challenges in my case
@@ivanl2366 thats so insightful dirk strider
There are many situations surrounding pregnancy and childbirth that haunt you until you do it again with the desired result. It’s control-a miscarriage is the hardest lack of control that women endure.
I am so very sad that there are so many people in this world that lack empathy and compassion for others. Hugs to anyone who has lost a baby, however they were lost. It is not for us to judge others or to decide what is best for them. Thanks for your powerful words.
Your ability to break complex issues down into simple terms, your compassion, and impartial delivery of information are unparalleled. Thank you for what you do!
Being a retired nurse, I cannot count the number of times we had women come in to have the "products of conception removed because of either a missed miscarriage or to remove what may have been left behind from an incomplete miscarriage. I am totally sure with her religious believes her decision was gut wrenching . Kudos to her for sharing her journey. It may help another women going through this.
Actually if she was Catholic (which I don’t think she is) that is a no brainer and not seen as an abortion by the church. An abortion is the intentional killing of a baby. If the baby is already dead, not an abortion. If it’s an etopic pregnancy and the baby cannot survive outside the womb, not an abortion.
I had to get a DNC when I was 18, in addition to some other procedures I can't remember the names of because the surgeon kept saying the word "scrape". I had just found out an hour before I got to the hospital that I had a Molar Pregnancy. I was told there was no fetus at all, and that the placenta tissue was growing at an alarming rate, acting like cancer. That I could hemorrhage and die. I was already dealing with the stress of not really being ready to be a parent, but I was also excited and looking forward to meeting my child. To be told that child didn't exist and that I needed to go get emergency treatment asap was so much shock all at once on top of already being stressed that I laughed hysterically before spending nearly the rest of the time between the call and passing out in the operating room dissociating. Had to get blood tests done every week for a long time after to make sure they got it all.
It's been nearly two decades and I still feel broken and guilty, despite doctors telling me it wasn't my fault.
Verbally attacking any woman for any reason who has gone through this, whether they chose it or not, is DISGUSTING!
I’m sorry you had to go through that my sister had the same thing happen to her!
So sorry - I too had a molar pregnancy and I was so very ill, and the grief was horrid. It was 26 years ago now...but its stilll with me.
I had a missed miscarriage, the baby only measured 6 weeks but I was “10 weeks”. My chart shows “missed abortion” because that’s the medical term. My doctor told me I could get the surgery, take the pill, or wait a couple more weeks to try and pass naturally. I chose to try and pass naturally and ended up bleeding way too much and passed out in the emergency room. I ended up with an emergency d&c anyway. I definitely wish I would’ve made that choice in the first place. It’s crazy that people take wording and won’t listen to anything else 🤦🏻♀️
I had a missed miscarriage in 2014. I was 9 weeks 5 days and they said the pregnancy never developed past 5 wk, if even that. No heart beat. No development. I tried to pass everything naturally. 2 months later I went in because i was still bleeding and my abdomen was tender. Ultrasound and tests showed I had a severe pelvic infection and retained tissue. Had an Emergency DnC the next morning. I was SO afraid to take the medical abortion pills or have a DnC because of stigma like this. I wish I had used one of those options right when I was diagnosed as having a missed miscarriage. The DNC was so smooth and went very well. Antibiotics cleared my infection fast. I got pregnant with my now 7 year old 2 months later and had a very healthy pregnancy. I wish 19 year old me had known it was okay to take the medical abortion route to get rid of all the tissue in one go. It would have saved me a lot of time and I probably would have grieved faster.
😢 that's heartbreaking that because of social ignorance you went through that.
It's heartbreaking to hear you go through something so traumatic because of our medical environment being undermined.
If it was understood that there are maybe 4x as many people in situations like yours than those who go on to give birth then there could be some mutual support.
It's discouraged to disclose pregnancy before 12 weeks locally and accordingly much of the grief people feel is outside of the community support I feel necessary
I am so sorry you had to go thru that I know the sadness of that loss. I am pro life and I Had a D&E with my 7 month old in the womb baby she did not have a heartbeat and had died of a heart defect I had a autopsy done because of the blame I felt for over cleaning my windows the week before. I do not in anyway consider a medical procedure needed for women who have had a loss such as yours and mine the same as a termination of pregnancy. We did not terminate our babies. If anything it is the reason I am pro life I Know what a treasure it is to be fortunate enough to have a baby because I lost mine and I just can’t handle the fact that 1 million people choose to just throw away a baby as if it doesn’t matter but I someone who would have loved to have my Ivy Grace had to lose her. Every year I donate money on her birthday to organizations who either advocate for babies or to the parenting centers who provide things babies need to mothers who struggle in my community. It is Ivy’s birthday present I couldn’t save her but maybe I can save another baby. That has brought me comfort in some way. May you find comfort and peace.
@@debbievinsant4610 while I’m sorry for your loss, it’s disturbing you’re trying to convert people using that loss. You should try a non religious therapy instead
You're lucky.50% of women with infection due to partial miscarriage become infertile. It's nothing to play around with
“They are not the problem, your legislation is the problem”.
I love Mama Dr. Jones
And that's why we, 98% of the time, use the word "termination" here in New Zealand for an unwanted pregnancy.
Because we had the same arguments around "abortion" here 30 years ago, and it is clear when people speak here that they had a miscarriage of a wanted pregnancy OR they have a termination of an unwanted one. We all know the medical procedure in both instances is called an abortion, so we changed the social usage of the words.... 😊
I use this terminology both online and clinically as well.
We did much the same in the UK too. We tend to socially call it a termination too.
@@SquishyRogue do we? I've only ever heard it socially called an abortion - but maybe it differs depending where you live, generation, etc
@@ItsMeEllenB in my experience. I'm in North Manchester and everyone I know round here has been calling them terminations for at least the last 15 years. Admittedly could be social class related too. Only really hear people my mams age and older still whispering "abortion" when they talk about it. But I'm in a very left-leaning area where the change in terminology seems more widespread?
This is more pro-choice double talk. These people know that we are not trying to stop pregnancy terminations. All pregnancies terminate! The only issue is whether they terminate with a live baby or a dead one. Abortion is not about the termination of pregnancy, but the termination of human life.
Handled very well, I appreciate the separation of a “social definition” vs the “medical terminology” thanks for the conversation!
This right here is why I love you and your channel so much. You take a subject that you are so passionate about, and that you know your entire fan-base is passionate about, and you talk about it while putting your emotions aside, you remain as neutral as possible, and you give credit where credit is due - and vice versa. I think you know that you could've made a video basically agreeing with the tweet you used as an example and condemned it and talked about how this is why they make no sense, and I think most of us would've probably agreed and said yeah! she's onto something!. But you didn't. You remained ethical and neutral - and only let your personal opinion be known at the end of the video, and made it clear that those two are very different. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for staying sharp and educating us all.
Thirty-seven years ago the baby we wanted so very badly died inside of me, a miscarriage. The hospital verbiage in the forms we had to sign to give permission for a D&C was called “abortion of the fetus”. Finally, I was put in L&D, where you see heavily pregnant laboring women walking the halls, hear women delivering, infants cry, then the lullaby plays on the speakers once baby is born. A huge floral arrangement with “congratulations on your new son” balloons was accidentally delivered to my room. Finally, I had to pass the baby nursery on the way out of the hospital. I wanted to die that day. Enough devastation? It was a blighted ovum. The baby had left the building. So confusing to grieving parents. That poor girl is being raked over the coals online when all she wanted was to deliver a sweet little healthy baby. I hope she gets some emotional support.
(((((HUGS))))
This kind of story, along with Jessa's, are the reason I am pro choice (in this case, meaning opting for care that can save the person's life or emotional sanity.) For someone to carry a child, want that child more than anything, but have it taken away so quickly and forcefully is heartbreaking... It makes it worse when a world of healthy babies are surrounding you, other people being able to feel intense joy and happiness. People thinking that you're having a baby, when in fact you're losing one. I'm 11 weeks tomorrow, everything is going good, but the thought of a miscarriage sits in the back of my mind, and if I ever had one, I would be devastated.
No. She wanted to add to the planet's overpopulation problems and endoctrinate it into her insane cult. Let's not get shit twisted.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Heartbreaking. A big reason these terms need to be used correctly by advocates on both sides, in the legal definitions etc. So we all are talking about the same things. I hope you have found healing after your loss.
That sounds like a literal nightmare. I am so sorry 😰
I had an 11 week miscarriage less than a year ago and it was something that I never expected and knew very little about. One day out of nowhere I just started spotting. I denied it at first and told myself it was normal. A day or two later the bleeding got heavier and then finally I had to days where the bleeding was so bad and the blood clots coming out were the size of golf balls. I had to go to the hospital and it was one of the most difficult things in my life. That was 11 months ago and I’m still not past it.
When this happened to me I knew very little about miscarriage and how common it is. I think one of the reasons why there is so much ignorance about this topic is because of the lack of education. Our school systems teach about pregnancy, pregnancy prevention, they have you label the parts of the penis six million times but they never teach about miscarriage. I know how hard it was for me to lose my pregnancy, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to have a missed miscarriage and have to go through what Jessa did. At a certain point people should put their political views aside and be compassionate.
Is that accurate? As I recall history is chock full of failed pregnancy , death in child birth, and librarians ,who in USA have been firm on uncensored access to knowledge .
The stunting, holding back of knowledge is generally found where liars control who knows what.
I had a missed miscarriage in February 2009. I chose the medication at home because I couldn't bear the thought of just waiting on my body to recognize it. It had already been two weeks at that point. It gets easier with time but I don't think you're ever totally past it. You're not alone though, there's a bigger community than we realize
about 10-20%, if anyone was wondering how many pregnancies end in miscarriage(for people who *know* they’re pregnant)
@@pheonixrises11 other published % are higher. It's merely statistical projection given the matter is not of fact, self evident truth ,or verifiable in any shape manner or form.
@@patriciarouse16 look for the research that was done in the 90s, that invited US college students to wear a panty liner every day, and mail in the pantyliner every day.
Those numbers are incredibly accurate, very high, and had a large enough subject number to accurately reflect the number of miscarriages in the age 18 to 22 group, in college.
It is HIGH.
Thank you for being compassionate, level headed, thorough, and civil. This nuance and care (on top of your experience) makes you a voice that should be listened to and learned from regardless of what a person's political or ethical position is on this topic.
It would be so much better if all conversations around anything OB-GYN could be had without rage.
Dear Mama Doctor Jones
I don't know what to tell you except my heart breaks for you, your fellow ObGyn's and patients.
When I sat here in Scandinavia, read and listened to and about USA's illigalization of what I see as a basic human right - I cried.
And to Miss Jessica; we don't have the same political standpoint, but I hope for you and your family to heal from your loss.
Thank you Mama Doctor Jones for your explaination of the differences in terms, as English is not my first language. As always I learn a lot.
Best regards, Aase
As someone that's had a miscarriage (D&C), I think some of the outrage comes from trauma from caused by "activists" that automatically assume you're a baby killer if you need/recieve a D&C. I personally was egged in the chest by "activists" when I was being wheeled to the car.
While I feel bad, I understand the sense of hypocrisy. It definitely brings a lump to my throat thinking back to that day and the people that hated me for something they made up in their own minds.
@@toriwade8073we have literally seen anti-choicers shoot doctors, bomb clinics, and harass people for going into a clinic that doesn’t even offer abortion because the crowd refuses to educate themselves on even that much
Omg I'm so sorry that happened to you!
"...people that hated me for something they made up in their own minds."
Well if this isn't the best summary of anti-choice ideology I don't know what is. Goes hand-in-hand with "the only moral abortion is MY abortion".
Yeah….there’s a lady on Facebook who posts videos of herself and some other outside a planned parenthood. The things they yell at or say to people is appalling.
I had a friend who miscarried after her husband beat her. She was heartbroken, and needed a d&c. So traumatic, I don't think she ever healed from that.
I mentioned this on twitter, but thank you for reiterating that d&Cs are not always related to pregnancy. My two were in a long 12 year period of (singlehood) abstinence.
Also thank you for clearing up why you reacted the way you did. That did not come across in the twitter exchange.
I really appreciate your compassion, it's part of why I love watching your videos so much! I think it's so important especially when disagreeing with someone to remember that they're still a human being, and I love and appreciate how you balance information with that care - we need more of both in the world!
I had a missed miscarriage in 2012. I chose to have a d&c, mostly because I couldn't bear the thought of taking medicine and passing my baby in a toilet (no judgement for those who choose this way, just not for me). We wanted to have the remains cremated and were told to call the women's center to ask when the remains will be ready. When my husband called, the receptionist berated him saying, "We don't do that here. We have babies here." Of course, this was deeply upsetting to us, being judged by a person who works in the medical field over something out of our control. We ended up talking to the director of the hospital and told her what happened. She personally secured the remains and gave them to us. I still don't know if the person in the women's center was reprimanded. I hope so.
A close friend of mine had a similar situation. They were 8 months along when one morning baby didn't have a heartbeat. People in the community are still calling them a monster for murdering their baby. The doctor had to induce labor before sepsis set in.
I edited the pronouns because they came out as such.
Why can't people get it that this is an unfortunate, tragic situation and nobody's fault? Too many stupid, narrow minded people in this country. Last time I checked, we are in the 21st century, but you almost wouldn't know it.
The only monsters are the ones who don't recognize an obvious stillbirth for the tragedy it is.
That's awful. People need to start keeping their medical information to themselves. It really helps with gossip. If she wanted an abortion, that's a medical procedure and should also be kept private.
@@Essouza81 my friend really wanted the baby but one morning baby didn't have a heartbeat. They have never told me if they know what happened. Doctor hadto induce labor because baby was already starting to decompose.
My second son died in utero at 29 weeks. He had extensive congenital defects, and wasn't expected to make it to term. I had to be induced as I didn't go into labour naturally. I could have ended the pregnancy sooner, but I honestly just wanted what little time I had left with him. He wasn't suffering, and my health was fine, so I just waited.
I'm glad you had that chance without it making you sick.
I'm sorry for your loss. I can relate somewhat. While my child didn't die inside my body, she did die from conditions she was born with. Every moment I had with her is something I cherish now as I miss her.
I am grateful you had access to the care you needed to avoid an infection or life-threatening sepsis.
@Wolf-dog Cat-dog 2.0 She made her choice knowing that. No one gets to judge her for that.
That was your CHOICE. You had the right to make the decision and made the best and correct one for you. It's no one's business but yours. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you emotionally heal completely.
@Wolf-dog Cat-dog 2.0 all I did was share my experience of loss, and the choices I made and the feelings I felt.
What you read into it, and your nasty attack on me says far more about you than me. You need help, seek it.
As someone who had a miscarriage, thanks for your words. 😢
I’m so glad you made this video. People’s ignorance on this topic is alarming. I had a DNC for a non viable pregnancy. It was not an abortion. There was no life. I worked for an OBGYN and I saw SO many reasons why this was the choice. I applaud you addressing this.
Abortion is a health care procedure and it is pitiful that the perpetual reproduction enslavers use the word to sell their pornographic whim of skin bags with no education to wallow in this moronic conceit or gossip social recrimination for misogynist stupidity.
Thank you so much for making this video. I think a lot of the time when people are so passionate about issues, they loose sight of the goal itself. It can leed people to do some very cruel and destructive things that don't help anyone and even alienate others who would have been on their side. Part of a Terry Pratchett quote that has stuck with me is "revenge is not redress". Hurting someone, who is already in pain, is never the right thing to do, even if you don't like them or what they stand for.
I can't imagine having a miscarriage of a baby I fully wanted and having people continually saying that I purposely ended that pregnancy
This.
The left should be making this the point. And leading with “just as I cannot imagine being forced to keep a pregnancy I did not want.”
Yes!
Jessa is a garbage human but people trying to turn her loss into something it's not is equally as disgusting.
Her choice for her own body isn't any less important because I think she has shitty opinions.
She's a public person and pro birth, she failed at her godly task according to her own faith. Her faith is their own making and therefore they created their own problem and cry persecution later. It's a symptom of her upbringing and what religious extremeism we tolerate in this country. Can't take it, don't dish it, she's a grown woman. I'm sure the women forced to give birth because of policies she advocates for are not shedding a tear for her at all and quite frankly the sympathy for the abuser in society is weird.
@@BrokebutCreative she's not the only one who's impacted by this! Other people who have been through this see the response she's getting and can begin to feel some of that pain themselves. Seeing this procedure called an abortion (which yes, it is, but as MDJ said that's not how we use that term in day to day talk) can really mess with people's heads. And make people who NEED the d&c hesitant to get one if they are personally against elective termination.
@NiNiMeggie did everyone else want to take away women's rights? Some other women are not her and don't share her views. The hate is directed at her hypocrisy and I wish people would separate it. She got her procedure without any public input, by the time she made her video the procedure was already done and this was a choice made privayely between her and her doctor which is hypocritical from a pro-birther. Her and and her family advocates for disregarding doctors and science and telling women you have to carry this pregnancy to term regardless because it is God's will. She should have lived by her views that she wants to force on others and let whatever naturally by god, happen. So really, no one is attacking having a procedure, they're attacking the blatant hypocrisy and maybe religious people see they're being duped by some hypocrites. There's nothing wrong holding them accountable to their views.
Thank you for taking the time to explain the differences. I had no idea that there were so many different types of abortion, I thought it was, what I now know as the social definitions. I knew that the attack on Roe VS Rade was dangerous, but the public not understanding the medical definition makes it even more dangerous. It's sad that she lost the baby, I hope she and her family find the comfort they need to move on.
You said this so well. I believe I had a spontaneous miscarriage of a pregnancy I did not know about or want when I was 19. Alone in a public bathroom. After 2 months of incredibly heavy bleeding. I’m 45 and have only started to understand what I went through because of your videos and because I started reading about miscarriage. Being raised in a super conservative anti-choice religious environment, poor sex ed with no education about what was normal and when/how to speak to a doctor about my concerns, and being terrified of my parents finding out and making me move home, and insurance that did not allow me to see the doctor of my choice let to an incredibly painful and traumatizing experience, years of gaslighting by doctors who would not take the time to listen to me left me convinced that something was horribly wrong with me and that I was permanently damaged by the sexual abuse I experienced as a very young child, and I am glad I lost that baby. I can’t imagine what woman who are connected to their pregnancies go through. And there needs to be space for all of us to talk about our experiences and be met with compassion.
This is so crazy in this day in age. My grandmother (born around 1920) had a D&C at one point. When my mother (born 1942) had a miscarriage after my brother before she conceived me, it was her mother who told her to have a D&C - true or not, my grandmother believed it was important for the health of my mother and for her ability to have another child, which she then had- she conceived me at 39 and delivered at 40. If people in born 100+ years ago were totally on board with the medical procedure - it is wild to me that people are so confused now.
It may not technically be illegal to perform a D&C for a missed miscarriage in Arkansas, but the vagueness of the law IS having an impact on willingness to perform that procedure. She is accessing a level of care that her activism helped deny to other Arkansas women.
Yes I know
I know that you know, I've shared your Texas video far and wide. It's just so hard to find compassion for someone who leverages their money and influence this way. Jessa received care in a medical facility, by trained professionals, to minimize her pain, preserve her health, and protect her future fertility, because she is a Duggar. Her family has money and influence. My loved one, in the same situation, was sent home to "let nature take its course." She experienced the same loss after days of excruciating pain under the care of her loving but untrained mother, because she is not a Duggar.
You say they don't think this is what they're advocating for, but they do. They know exactly what they are doing to others, but they see their ability to avoid those consequences with money as a sign of divine favor. The more their money can buy them while they deny it to others the more their version of God loves them. Prosperity gospel is some messed up ideology.
Thank you for being so thoughtful and human in your presentation. It's hard to find that these days.
I appreciate you taking the time to work through the nuance here. It’s easy to get caught up in the inflammatory nature of the internet and we need to talk more about what effective communication looks like.
You really made your point come through, I feel. What I feel your message is, and always has been; that safe choices in reproductive health should be available to anyone, anywhere, at any time.
And I agree wholeheartedly. Thank you for being a voice of reason and compassion.❤️
Not long after I was born my mom unknowingly became pregnant. They think that probably at the end of her first trimester the baby passed but my mom didn’t know that. About 13 yrs later my mom had seen over a dozen gynecologists who told my mom that her random painful, extremely bloody (to the point of anemia) periods were just my mom being depressed over not being able to have more children. One day she went to the emergency room yet again for heavy bleeding a severe abdominal pain. That gynecologist told my mom that if she wanted to, he would do an intra-vaginal ultrasound telling her that it’s very painful but if she really feels that something is wrong she’ll do it and refused to do a regular ultrasound. My mom wound up having the test performed and there was a dark mass visible. They immediately scheduled her for a biopsy. My mom asked that they perform a total hysterectomy and they initially refused saying that she may want to have more kids in the future (nevermind that my mom was almost 50 at that time). She insisted on signing the paperwork just in case. When she got out of surgery they told her that she had a calcified fetus in her uterus and that there was damage to the uterus and ovaries, they were covered in cysts and it apparently had gotten infected too. If she had waited a few more days, the doctor said she would’ve died. He couldn’t believe that somehow my mom must’ve known that she was going to need a total hysterectomy.
Years later I was told that when I was born over 40 yrs ago there was a dead fetus that was taken out during the c-section for my birth. It was not noticed on ultrasound. In fact they did such a fantastic job that they were never able to say what gender I would be born or notice that I had spina bifida (myelomeningocele). It’s interesting too that in spanish it’s called a spontaneous abortion (aborto espontáneo) and no one actually thinks it’s an abortion but a miscarriage.
That's a heartbreaking and insane story. ❤️ I actually saw a news story about this happening to a woman in India. She was elderly and having worsening pain in her abdomen. When they did surgery, they found a large calcified fetus inside of her that she had been carrying around for over forty years. 💔
I always appreciate the compassion you bring to especially difficult topics. Thank you.
oh shit I love your videos so much but I literally had a d&c for my missed miscarriage less than a week ago and I’m not sure if I’m emotionally strong enough to keep watching this one, let’s see…
edit: should have known you’d say exactly the right thing, and glad i watched this ❤
(((((HUGS)))))
I am so sorry to hear of your recent loss. Gentle hugs.
Thank you so much for speaking out for abortion rights. I'm am thoroughly disgusted by the people who are doing everything in their power to take those rights away.
It’s always the ones who want to take it away from others who benefit from it themselves. I went to a religious school and wayyyy too many of those families voted prolife but paid for abortions for their kids anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/ it’s terrible
And I’m thoroughly disgusted by those who would take the life of a baby. Isn’t it great we can each have an opinion?
@@jillanglemyer3168 See that's why there's time limits on abortions.. When it's done, it's a fetus, a bunch of cells, unaware of it's own existence, not conscious. Abortions can be done for a variety of reasons(Health, wealth stance, r*pe) and NO ONE should be taking that right away.
@@jillanglemyer3168 it's not a baby though, it's the termination of a fetus, not the death of a baby.
@@Lolamy keep telling yourself that.
Thank you for making this video. I think it was clarifying and compassionate. I hope you take that last 2 minutes of this video and post it everywhere because it was incredibly powerful.
Thank you! When I had a miscarriage. I was actually finding out I was pregnant and losing the baby at the same time. I was in so much pain and had a very unhealthy amount of bleeding so my doctor advised that I have a D&C before release from the hospital. I was a mess. Lots of emotions. It was a very difficult time. A time made even more difficult when I had to sign a piece of paper that listed the procedure as an abortion. My mind was all mixed up on pain medication and I kept repeating I’m not having an abortion so why does it say that I am. I was heartbroken and so stressed out that the verbiage on this piece of paper was making a terrible situation so much worse in my mind. I couldn’t think clearly. I’m by far not a sensitive person and never over react like that on a simple disagreement on terminology. It was just the intensity of the situation and the fact that I would not have chosen an abortion. The fact that anyone… anywhere could use this against someone blows my mind. I had already lost the baby. Now I needed this procedure for my own health. Not only are all these people medically incorrect but it’s just inhuman and thoughtless. Really wish they would change the terminology on this procedure when you’ve miscarried. Women are already going through probably one of the worst times in their lives. That word pulls at the heartstrings of many. Both pro-life and pro-choice women.
Thank you so much for making this video and explaining the medical perspective. As much as I’m pro-choice and disagree with everything the Duggars stand for, I feel awful that Jessa experienced this loss. I can’t imagine how painful it would be to lose your baby and have people screaming at you that you aborted (social use) it. As you said, this discourse is not helpful for getting our rights back. 😞
Thanks for this video. I've had 2 MMC and will go bath and forth between abortion and medically assisted miscarriage depending on the sphere: like medical vs. social.
I remember being so scared of a d&c the first time but then I had a HORRIBLE reaction to misoprostal and went straight to the d&c with my third. I wish more people talked about MMC.
Though I dont agree with them (the Duggars) I still feel for her and the bravery of sharing her story.
Although I am now thinking post divorce that maybe I dont want kids anymore (or not without a lot more therapy) I will always feel deeply for anyone else that speaks on miscarriage, particularly MMC
Maybe it hits me hard because 2 of my due-date-verssary this month. Those two would have been 4 and 3 years old
🙏🌹🌹❤️. Those precious babies will always be with you. Be ever so kind to yourself ❤️
You get the hugs 🤗
I hope you find the peace you deserve. Therapy does sound like a good idea. Talking to someone nonjudgmental, who listens to you and helps you navigate your emotions can make a world of difference
Your story is similar to mine. I had awful side effects of cytotec needed a D&C to stop hemorrhaging, then did a D&C with my second mmc. Which was the right call in the end cause it was a partial molar. My little angels would be 5 and 4 if they were earthside but I wouldn't have my 4 and 1 yeer old if they were here. It's crazy to think about the what ifs.
@@Nevertoleave thanks! I actually am at peace but it doesn't stop their due date time from making me sad. Its a natural part of grieving. The grieving process never stops, though it does get better with reflection and time
I really feel for Jessa. Last year after 3 completely normal and healthy pregnancies I was shocked and suprissed to find at my 9 weeks ultrasound that there was no heartbeat and that I had had a missed miscarriage. Since having 3 kids at home I chose to have a same day d&c because I didn't want to deal with it at home. Currently 31 weeks pregnant and it's still hard for me to deal with. So I feel really bad for her.
I'm sorry you went through that. I found out about the same time in a pregnancy that I had a missed miscarriage as well, but the fertility doctor I saw was part of a Catholic hospital system, so I was not offered a D&C. I was told to go home and "have a miscarriage and come back once it happens." I was offered no further treatment, care, or options. He also said after having "picked on" my partner as the one with infertility problems, he'd be
picking on" me next; complete with a waggling finger. I walked out of there, went straight to the non-Catholic hospital system's OB-Gyn office, and I sat in the waiting room until someone could work me in so I could find out what my options were. I got a D&C and only went back to that other office to give them my paperwork to transfer all my medical records. I feel bad for Jessa, but I also know how this aura of "D&C is abortion, pills to help complete a miscarriage are abortion" permeate the care a lot of people dealing with miscarriage receive.
Right on! You are speaking sense, and we desperately need compassion and understanding so that this issue is more clear to everyone. Shared. Thanks for the wisdom! ❤
Thanks Dr. Jones. I have had three losses including one that required a D&C for my safety. Much time has passed and I have brought a beautiful baby girl into the world since then but based on the tears in my eyes I needed to hear again that the losses weren't my fault. I really appreciate you taking the time to say that. And to the mama's who have felt this pain know that you are not alone and IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT
I had an HCG secreting tumor. I had a positive pregnancy test and was overjoyed when I thought I finally got pregnant at 34 years old. Later, I learned it was a tumor and never a pregnancy but I felt not only like I had lost a baby but like I lost my ability to identify as a woman. This is because further testing showed that I am unable to conceive and likely have never even ovulated. None of this was my choice. I never had an abortion (in a social or medical sense) but I felt the loss. Even worse, my partner shared this information with others who claimed I was lying even though I presented documentation from my doctor. He will never trust me and I will never have biological children. I wish I had a choice in this. Therefore, I want other women to get their choice. Once you have options stolen from you, it is far more difficult to even consider removing what we currently consider to be a right for others (this applies to far more than pregnancy).
You… need to talk to him about this, that’s not something that you should just ignore. I hope your okay and find happiness, no matter what troubles you face.
@@CruzinCait If he believes his FRIENDS over you, his wife, and literal medical documentation, then you have a husband problem, I'm afraid. The fact that you say he won't ever trust you is almost as heartbreaking as your story of infertility. I hope that, in future, you can resolve this issue and will be with someone who loves AND trusts you.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover We are not, never were, and never will be married. This happened almost two years ago now. We still have trust issues and, though I will always care for him, I don't see myself ever having a committed relationship again, or any relationship really. I have other things in my life to fill that space. Dogs love unconditionally. I love my career. I have many hobbies. I am fine. I am at a point where I am able to move on from my experience and use it to guide others. The moral of the story here is that sometimes things happen TO a person and humanity needs to find compassion for these people in their greatest time of need, putting aside their political beliefs until the human is helped.
Let's flip the conversation a bit. If you were at some sort of rally, holding a big, heavy sign detailing your passion and you saw a random pedestrian get hit by a car... would you care about the sign in that moment or would you run to the person to help them? If you were the pedestrian, what would you want/need?
@@daniellebeisell7528 OK, so the way that it was worded sounded that you were still a couple - and apologies if I inserted "husband" I must have misread. But I'm glad that you aren't with him anymore.
What on earth does the car accident have to do with it? I don't disagree with any of your points. I was simply saying that if you were still with someone like that, you deserved to be with someone that didn't treat you like garbage... I'm sorry that you took that to be some kind of negative/insult? I'm not sure how but... there we go.
It's possible to care about multiple things at once.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover It's perfectly fine. I'm not upset. I know text may convey emotions that aren't necessarily meant. I appreciate your concern. Truly. That is the main point here.
The example of the car accident at the rally is meant to redirect the conversation back to caring and compassion while taking the specificity of abortion policy out of the equation. I feel like we have lost the ability to first treat our patients like humans in need before considering our needs or wants (when we are healthy and able to help). If we look at the situation in a different context (the car accident victim) do we have a different knee jerk reaction? If so, why? It's just a thought experiment.
Wow, thanks for actually covering this with, well, reason. Regardless of your views on the abortion issue (I'm gonna side step that one myself here because it's largely irrelevant for my comment), I'm glad you went ahead and made a very fact based, medically informative video, while retaining compassion for the person who suffered the loss. It's unfortunately a rare trait nowadays that people actually stick with the facts and remember that regardless of your political views, the person in the story is suffering a real loss/heartbreak.
I get the desire to go ahead and politicize this, given the views of the person, but you dealt with this in a respectful, fact based manor which is pretty awesome. Thanks for the informative video, MDJ!
Edit: as a side note, I'm also just personally fascinated with the difference between the scientific definition of a word and the colloquial use of said word. I actually spent a good hour and a half or so debating this distinction with my best friend once, though admittedly was on a politically neutral topic. We were literally arguing about what the word "berry" means, as I promise you the scientific definition and the social definition are almost entirely discordant. There's almost zero overlap lol, and that got us into a debate for hours. Also, yes, we're both a bit nerdy lol
Thank you for your insight and commentary. What a heartbreaking situation. My heart goes out to her and anyone who has experienced loss like this, as well as every person who has ever chosen to terminate a pregnancy. There is no universe in which making that choice is easy. Every person should be able to have whatever medical procedure is necessary for their health and wellbeing, period. Thank you for everything you do, Mama Dr. Jones.
Thank you for discussing this, I was very confused.
A DNC when the mother is bleeding and no heartbeat is a miscarriage and taking care of the mother’s health. I had a miscarriage with my 4th and the doctor Insisted on it for my health.
You don't have to be bleeding. My d&c accidentally found fetal death the next day. I waited 5 days before a second ultrasound confirmed no heartbeat (my choice) and was in surgery same day. All with no blood or cramping or any hint things were wrong other than the morning sickness had stopped
@caljones38 Sorry, this is inaccurate. A D&C has NOTHING to do with whether you can label something a miscarriage, abortion, or any other uterus-related event. That's like saying using a screwdriver determines whether you built a house, a shed or a lawnmower. The D&C is the tool that is used for many purposes, only some of which are related to miscarriages or abortions. I don't mean to be pedantic, but the whole point of this video is to clarify language so we can communicate better.
@evelynkrull5268, it's true that bleeding is irrelevant to whether a miscarriage is taking place or not, but the rest of your statement makes no sense. You would not have a D&C and find out later there is no heartbeat. A D&C is used to *remove everything* from the space inside the uterus, whether fetus, placenta, or other tissue. There would be no fetus to *have* a heartbeat (or not) the next day.
Still an abortion.
Mama Dr Jones is one of the very rare youtubers who net a positive on RUclips. I really hope her videos are around when my daughter enters puberty and when she decides to have a child.
Keep it up Mamma, you rock! (And this is from a mom who leans to the right)
This video was very informative and insightful. I learned a lot and am continuously grateful for your compassionate perspective and shared medical expertise. Thank you!
I’ve had FOUR miscarriages. I’ve had 4 D and C procedures. When a fetus unfortunately passes on or stops developing, these are needed procedures to save a woman’s physical and mental health. The fact that some people are dragging This poor woman through the dirt after she’s experienced such a terrible loss, are showing their inadequate education and frankly their ability to have empathy or sympathy. I applaud Jessa for telling her story and for showing her heart for all to see. I’m not a fan of hers or her family, but I have tremendous sympathy for her loss. No woman deserves to be beaten up for this.
Not only did she have the courage to share, but amid the backlash she doubled down and explained this was her second D&C due to miscarriage. I have a lot of respect for that, knowing being honest would just add fuel to the fire.
it shows who are the actual monsters. sure her family and her are not saints but she actually had a loss. a d and c and suffers from it. i am also sorry this happened to you :( i hope you will find or have already happiness and joy no matter how your life will go
I was raised pro-life and taught it was one of the most important things we could care about. Even when I moved away from my conservative background when it came to gay rights and other things, I still felt strongly about pro-life values. Study on my part helped me move a little away from the idea that legislation could fix it and toward needing social change to help young families, but I was still not ok with it. It took a lot of education, conversations with women, and a firm belief in not legislating my own spiritual beliefs to finally realize I could be firm in my belief that I should not get an abortion, but also believe it is not my place to tell anyone else what they should do. It took a while to understand that was pro-choice. It was exposure to compassionate stories alongside real educational resources that helped me get there. Your discussion would have helped me change, the discourse on Twitter would have shut me down. Thank you for sharing reason on a complicated topic.
Some people call themselves pro-life, despite saying abortion should be allowed in some cases. The most common are when the pregnancy threatens the mother’s life or health, when the pregnancy resulted from rape or incest, or when the unborn child is disabled. Other people even call themselves pro-life simply because they say that elective abortion should be legal only during the first trimester.
@@toriwade8073 I just honestly never considered that my expanding mindset actually meant being pro-choice. I know I still have biases and things I am working through. A friend pointed it out when I said, "I could honestly never imagine getting one myself, but I don't think I have the right to tell others." They were like "yeah, pro-choice." I think part of it is being told that people want abortions. It warps you to think like it is celebrated, not just healthcare. So simply thinking rationally about options and scenarios doesn't feel like it makes you "one of those people" we were told about. There was a lot of indoctrination we didn't realize we were getting.
Thank you for sharing your insight. I think it's an important reinforcement of what Dr Jones is saying here. People yelling at somebody who is grieving would never have changed your mind - time and compassion are the key.
Same for me. I am very against abortion in concept, but I am not a perfect being, capable of judgement, so I am pro-choice. Each woman has to make their own choices for their lives and their bodies.
Exactly how I feel! I would never get an elective abortion myself, but having experienced first hand the complexity of pregnancy, miscarriage, giving birth, post-partum, I would never impose a certain treatment on anyone.
We also have examples of draconian anti-choice legislation at both extremes: Communist Romania forbidding abortion very strictly (leading to many dead women and orphanages full of disabled and mistreated children) vs. One-child policy of China (also contributing to lots of suffering and eventually terminated)
Thank you for explaining this so eloquently. Empathy is ALWAYS a necessary part of this conversation in both directions
I had a D&C after a 17 week missed miscarriage. Its devastating and infuriating people are coming for any woman in this manner.
Thank you for this! You've phrased it so well: we cannot ration our compassion for others based on character judgements. I, too, have been (and am) guilty of this because it's such an automatic response. We will only heal and advance as a society if we can address our need to make excuses to marginalize, denigrate, or oppress others. We all do it to someone and it takes active effort to change, but the change can be made with practice and commitment.
I realized when I had a miscarriage that I that a weirdly high number of people, think a D&C is an abortion.
I had pretty much the same experience as her, except there was no bleeding, no cramps. I went to a completely normal ultrasound appointment, and found out there was no heartbeat.
The doctor said that I would probably have a "normal" miscarriage within a couple days. That didn't happen, and I needed a D&C.
A lot of my friends insisted I had an abortion, because they had had them, and couldn't wrap their heads around any other reason for a D&C. They called me a liar.
I'm so glad you talked about this. As awful as that family is, as much as anyone disagrees or agrees with their views, this is something that should never be used politically or as a "gotcha"; it's a tragedy, and should be taken as such. It's not gonna change her views, especially with people being cruel to her about it. People really need to find something better to do with their time.
Okay but she and her family were cruel first
@@stoppit9 you expect with two wrongs do a right? That's messed up
Completely agree
From my pov
The true aim is not for her to understand but for her to feel worse than she already does
@@stoppit9 Compassion is free. She's still a person, and should be treated with dignity. Piling more bad onto bad doesn't make any of it better.
If someone feels that they can't engage in a civil way, they should just move on and ignore her. Block her, even. There's no point to being mean for the sake of being mean, I guarantee she likely won't read your message, and it will just make you feel bad while you're sending it and engaging.
@@stoppit9 "she and her family were cruel first" sounds like a sibling who shouts "she started it!" when they get tattled on to mommy. You have to be either very young or extremely immature if you choose to respond this way to the bad behavior of others, which is the entire reason why MDJ made this video.
Take away any public knowledge of Jessa Sewald and her family and we are left with a woman experiencing an excruciatingly painful loss and describing the medical procedure that she endured to prevent her own death. She deserves compassion and empathy. If people are unable to offer that, then they should remain silent because this is NOT the time to be shaming her. That's what anti-choicers would do in this scenario.
Your passion and compassion comes through so much here. I love that about you and appreciate you.