Imagine waking up one day at university not knowing where your friend/ roommate is then some proctors knock at your door and say that your friend committed suicide. That would hit me hard
Before I left for college, my Dad told me something I have always remembered. "You got in because you finished at the top of your class, but everyone else there finished at the top of his class too. And after first semester, most of you won't be at the top of your class anymore. Whatever you do, don't flunk out and don't drop out. Your mother and I don't care if you graduate last - just graduate in four years." I did, and I've since realized that most people don't even care where I went to college, let alone my GPA or my class rank. I'm so thankful my Dad told me that because I was able to go for me, not anyone else.
If that's how your parents make you feel, they're not worth it. They should have already instilled in you that your life is your own. They shouldn't need you to make them happy. That's their failure there, right there. Life is so much more than 'success'. It's not real love if they're going to be unhappy because you're unsuccessful and they can't be proud of you. They should care more that you live a healthy, happy life surrounded by people you love and who love you back. And people shouldn't be loving you for your success either, because that's bullshit love. That's what real success is. And trust me, very very few people get that. Regardless of what school they went to or how much money they make. Work on your spirituality kids, the other stuff is dumb and superficial. If you love your work do it for itself, not for the success it will bring.
@@dailybls I agree, Imo being supportive of the positive things their kid can do is the best way a parent can show their love. If their kids stray to a darker path though like consumption of narcotics or commiting crimes then it's the parent's job to set it right (it's still a form of support), but nonetheless never make them feel like they are indebted to the parents, because the parent's job is to guide their kids to be able to make their own decisions as they grow up and be able to live without their parents.
Y’all, no one is commenting about his friend, John, who committed suicide🤷🏼♂️ I just think it’s sad that someone would really do that because of school.
Ohhh yes you would I mean, I'm even considering it myself But I probably won't though because what if I survive and I'm left with a major injury or something Besides i still believe i can turn around my academic life But honestly, college education at an A class college is fucking depressing and can lead you to some really dark places
@@comforth3898 I don't know you and anything, but please don't take your life You have the right approaches, I know it's not easy, but talk to someone about what you think It can be a friend, family member or a stranger like me Hope your life changes to a better one
@@comforth3898 There was a girl at my school who was so stressed and depressed that she committed suicide - even those who didn't know her were mourning for the pain she must have felt. I've had friends contemplate suicide because of school, and it's hard not to mourn with them for feeling like all hope is lost and their destiny is set for failure and more sadness. But that's absolutely not the case. A few years back I was in a very dark and anxious place, and I kept having thoughts that my life was just going to be a life of suffering - i would grow up and be an adult and still be suffering and feeling guilty all the time. It took me a lot to realize that those thoughts were not true, but complete lies, and not everything that i thought was true. Not everything that you think true. What you feel is undoubtedly there, but why it is there may not be what you think. Please talk these thoughts to someone outloud. Please talk to someone. Help is available, and strength is also. From a fellow college kid, please hold on.
My friend went to Harvard because her parents wanted her to. She went into a deep depression and ended up transferring to another university after only one semester. Needless to say she was much happier.
many think, harvard will make your future a better , thats not true, JEFF bezos ceo of Amazon, didnt even go to harvard yet he makes billions everybody knows his by now, he has more money than anyone than any person you can think, more than tesla, you name it
I’ve always said “I wanna go to some Ivy League school when I grow up” but recently I’ve been thinking of how hard it would be to compete with thousands of other number 1s who are also realizing that they can’t all be #1 anymore
@@rgseven6557Translator note: Cushy ivy league school is an expression usages by the vidoe game antagoniat "Senator Armstrong" from the video game: Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance which is a spin off of a video game series: Metal Gear Solid by Hideo Kojima
It's always within someone's ability, though. There's always someone smarter than you - yeah, but there's also someone who's actually the absolute smartest.
you name it dreamy school because you made it as a huge place where you can not achieve it even if you really suit the position. after 7 years of lying to myself, I do have to admit the only thing you need is to believe in yourself. not every smart guy is making the next big thing. not every average or poor guy has to be jobless. Just believe in yourself and fight for what you want but remember the only important part of it is that perseverance.
I thought the trembling was just the anxiety brought on by public speaking, except for the moment he was talking about his parents; he really did sound like he was struggling to keep his composure.
you felt it because i think you never felt it often, think about us in our country we feel this every time even before high schools even me. you know many of the students dies here cuz of pressure created by competition. Here if you don't wanna starve out of hunger etc then study hard. don't take term 'starve' too serious but it's kinda like this
I came back to this video after my friend passed away due to the same reason. It's been almost a year since the incident happened, but it's still engraved in my brain. The first time I watched this was 2 years ago, when I was working on my essays for US uni apps. Didn't get into any, and I ended up going to a prestigious university in Asia instead. Felt like a failure, but I was doing alright. COVID made it very hard to socialize and talk to people, but I still managed to become friends with a few. Halfway through my first sem, one of the few friends I made at uni passed away. And I still don't know why he made that decision. I still have messages from him on my phone that he sent the day before he passed away. Nothing seemed wrong. I still remember this extroverted, hard-working person who was mature and wise. But now, it's as if he didn't exist in the first place. Everyone who used to know him pretends like they don't know him at all, but I still open up the messages we sent each other every once in a while just to remind myself he did exist. Being a uni student sometimes sickens me. The day after I found out my friend died, I woke up early to finish an assignment that was due at midnight. I prepared for my tests and exams, and got surprisingly good scores. But inside, I was devastated, trying to cope with the situation. Being academically successful doesn't mean you're more organized and stable than the rest. It's absurd how we all pretend to be alright when we know no one is truly alright.
I'm 27, went to a crappy unpopular college and got a bachelor's in computer science. Now I work at NASA as a cyber security engineer, don't have any student debts and own a condo. So please think again before applying to an Ivy league school. -- Correction, I don't own the condo, I have a mortgage, but you get the point. Also I just finished a Master's in Cybersecurity at a better school
This was almost the exact same lecture I got during my medical school orientation. The problem is that people build their identities around their achievements. When this happens a failure is not simply a failure - it's an attack on who you are. *Know this:* You are more than your achievements. If you fail you are still the same person who achieved, but now you have an opportunity to learn and improve from life's greatest lesson, failure.
@@mustafaaa772 Someone once told me medicine is a lousy job, but a wonderful calling. The most rewarding things in life are not born out of being comfortable. If you really want it, and are willing to sacrifice for it, then go for it.
That's easy to say. However, life treats us differently. A better view I think is to accept you can't control all. In fact, you probably control nothing. It's just a ride. Let it flow. Don't be lame and limp, but understand, life is a crapshoot. Things happen in ways, and people often behave in ways, that are beyond reason and expectation.
My father got admitted to Harvard in the 70s but he did not attend because he could not afford the tuition. He instead decided to go to trade school and learn to be a plumber . He retired in 2008 with a plumbing business in Texas having 238 trucks and 560 employees making over 10 mil a year . So moral of the story do what you love and money comes to you no matter which school you go to .
I taught at Harvard for five years. At the beginning of my second semester, I asked the head of the Mental Health dept of Student Services why Harvard people-students AND faculty-were so uniformly miserable. He answered me directly: “Everyone here finds their limits”-i.e., exactly what Alex Chang is describing here-“so they get grumpy and depressed.”
I don’t know what an overachiever could possibly be. These people are super achievers, many of them, who have never not been good at just about anything the first time they tried. If they tried hard, really worked at something they loved, they never failed; they were unbeatable. Or so they thought till they got to Harvard and were outdone, which to them is the same as failing. So they have to learn how to bounced back, which is a far easier lesson for young kids@@jarry8150
@@rhondarockwell2384 yeah makes sense, so a question of resiliency/mental fortitude. So they’ve excelled at whatever they’re natural inclinations. And when they’re abilities are tested self esteem, self image, ect come into confidence question. Mental resilience cannot be exercised if you’re always “winning” and never experiencing a time that required them to bounce back.
I grew up in the UK and went to Cambridge University. I had the single highest score in Scotland in Chemistry and Maths my year but didn’t top the class at University. I didn’t even come close to the top, though my grades were still good. I was fine. I didn’t die. Because I knew and I know I’m not the best at everything, I can never be the best at everything, and NO ONE is the best at everything. I can appreciate that it’s humbling when you realise you’re no longer the smartest kid in the room (and actually NO ONE is the smartest in the room across all subjects/specialisations) but some people clearly need a reality check ... without trying to sound too harsh. If Einstein was rejected by ETH Zurich I can live with the fact that I’m not the top student at Cambridge University or Oxford University or Harvard University or MIT or Stanford or Princeton or whatever elite university you and thousands of other people went to.
The most successful person I ever met was my great grandpa. He never learned how to read and worked fields all his life, but he found happiness in all the things that God allotted to him.
A trully sucessful man, he knew that while school can lead to success, its not the only way and that we should go with what is the best for us and our health, also that you can take pride and be happy in things/jobs that aren't all academic related.
Major props to whoever is running this account for keeping up to date with comments and being supportive for people sharing their personal experiences.
C+'s aren't that bad, but you've got into the mentality of a guy like him. He's used to getting straight A's for all of his life, so he's not used to this and he considered anything lower than an A- a failure. Plus, I think his parents drilled into him that good grades are all that matters. For me, sometimes the best grade that I get is a C.
Middle school deadass sucks lmfao. I used to be an all honor roll student back in elementary school then I applied for a really good school one of the best in the USA well top 500 at least. First term I was one of the only kids without honor roll. I know how you feel. Also the fact that kids from your old school who you used to overachieve or were better at become better than you.
everybody talks about how hard it is getting into Ivy leagues but no one talks about the struggle after you get in..... Thank you for this perspective! I gotta go show this to my parents now!
Here's something else to show your parents. I'm from an Ivy mill, which is a school district (often public, surprisingly) that grooms students for Ivy Leagues from the moment they enter at age 5. When I entered college I found out that I had been taught all of the college content, the only time I saw anything new was in extremely specialized classes, and in the classes that I took for a masters program. to succeed I slept about 4 hours per night and studied non stop. I was considered the bottom of the barrel at my high school, despite having straight A's in what I now know to have been college courses while being a two season athlete, working two jobs, teaching martial arts, and getting awards for community service. Let me again stress this: I was considered an under achiever. There were people who could do that level of work and also run a club, ace national competitions regularly, etc etc etc. Those are the people going to Harvard. Me? As if. I spent my entire childhood being groomed for an Ivy League and working as hard as I could to do succeed, and I was simply not good enough. This is true of most of my classmates. Some people will go to Harvard, yes. It does not have to be you, it probably won't be you, and there's nothing wrong with that. Go get good grades at a cheap college that'll give you a scholarship; unless you want to work at a fortune 500 company that will be enough. The level of pressure that my classmates and I were under did more harm than attending Ivy Leagues could ever counteract, we had at least 2 suicides a year for every thousand students, and for what? This is less than the stress of attending Harvard. So to parents really pushing for their children to attend Harvard, please consider the unlikeliness of that and the damage that it could do.
@@kinseylise8595 May i ask what are you doing currently and what are ur plans? Im just curious because based on ur statement u seem to be smart and reflected. Sincerly yours :)
@@rampageviii7186 Thank you for the compliment. I did an accelerated bachelors in Biological Sciences, and am working on another bachelors in English and some classes for an accelerated Masters of Education. I plan to teach high school and like teaching both subjects, so since I was able to get accelerated tracks for all of these, I decided to pursue them all. I originally planned to enter biological sciences for plant genetic research, but found that 1) I do not enjoy the lab setting and 2) I would like to raise my children myself, so I should choose a field that can be exited for many years and then re entered. Teaching was always something that I enjoyed, so I'm pursuing it now. Best of luck to you in your path!
@@kinseylise8595 Hey is there any kind of website or forum that could tell me more about Ivy Mill? Also, being groomed since a young age to enter Harvard, can you tell me more some of the hardest struggle you need to cope with throughout your childhood?
@@offensivecreampie3015 This is a long one. As I recently discovered this term does not seem to be universal, so while there may be website about high achieving school districts, I am not sure how to find them. One option to look for this kind of information is to use school search websites like College Vine (I believe they have elementary, middle, and high schools listed as well), but I am unsure of exactly how you could interpret the data that they provide to determine if a school is an "Ivy mill" or high achieving for other reasons. If you want more information about what this type of school district is like, feel free to ask. I'm not sure what would help you in your search (hopefully to avoid these districts!) but I'm happy to inform. For many of my classmates the hardest part was that they were under immense pressure from their parents and as such faced constant criticism; the classes were difficult enough that even the best of the best were never 100% perfect, and anything less than perfection was strongly criticized by their parents. Their worst days were compared relentlessly to their peer's best days, and they were expected to follow their families' preferred career paths. Personally I was blessed with a family that did not do this to me; I was expected to work hard and succeed, but they supported me and never expected perfection. My greatest struggles were socialization and self actualization. I had no experience with close relationships because I had never had a close friend, and only maybe two distant friends. I want to build close relationships, but I still struggle deeply with becoming closer to others. My professional persona is excellent but I can't make friends. As far as self actualization, there were a lot of factors there. I knew that after high school grades would not matter much, but it was still a shock to my system, much more than I expected. I no longer had an intuitive sense of where I stood among others. That was good in the sense that I no longer felt like a second class citizen (in high school there were people with whom I felt could not initiate conversation because they were in more AP classes than me and thus were "out of reach") but it made me lose my sense of self. If my identity was not explained and defined by being a high achieving in a difficult school, who was I? When I started undergrad I thought "nobody cares what school I came from now, nobody cares about what I worked so hard for, and there's no reason that they should. Without the context of my school, what am I? How do I even explain to people what made me who I am?" which was uncomfortable and upsetting. Learning to change what you tie your self worth to is a very painful experience, though I am grateful for it. As an aside, I don't consider this to be entirely related to my schooling because I do not know what caused it, but I was very suicidal for a long time. I dislike how quick we are these days to diagnose people with mental problems and frankly I'm not sure that I had a disorder of any kind, I think it was a stress reaction. Many people in my high school were suicidal and self harmed, and stopped a year or two after graduating. Towards the end of my time in high school I began to have spells of apathy that were very difficult to deal with, and they slowly became less frequent and less intense as time after high school passed.
I hope Alex sees this: YOUR TED talk changed my life. my Asian parents were ok with their average kid, but I was not. I would watch people's reaction videos of them getting into the big schools and cry in my bed, feeling like a disappointment. But when Alex said "if your goal is to get into grad school, it might be better to go to a college and do well, than a dream school and struggle", that sent chills down my spine. I want to be a vet, which meant this advice is applicable. I changed the way I looked at my application, took off the "reach schools" like UCLA which I definitely was not getting into (being realistic here), and made my "dream school" UMass Boston (UMB), a school not far from Harvard, maybe not as cool, but it's on a peninsula across the street from the ocean with great food and dorms. It was a "safe school" that I knew I would be happy and do well in. So now I'm writing this from my UMB dorm room, halfway through the first semester of college, and it's the best decision I've ever made. so thank you, Alex, you saved me.
Hi Jane, Alex here! Thank you so much for your comment. Glad to hear you’re doing well at UMB. Seems like you’re on your way to becoming a successful vet! 🙌
This is the video that convinced me to accept enrollment at Bard College. I had real doubts, since it wasn't the Ivy League education I'd worked really hard for. But I realized that going to a school that prioritized a holistic education and a real emphasis on deep thought would be a better choice for my whole person, not just my GPA. So grateful this person shared his story ❤️
Every student who is working hard has to watch this for them to know their not alone. I got accepted for a PhD four times in one of the best schools in the world and couldnt afford it. I tried everything i could but found no way to pay for my studies. I would think of this dream almost EVEERYDAY for six years until i finally won a scholorship a month ago. Work hard, set your goals and NEVER give up
I'm not sure I would agree. There are times when people need to take a look at themselves in the mirror and perhaps change their goals. Not everything is achievable. As a classroom teacher for 31 years I found that some people definitely had unrealistic expectations. I've lost count of how many C students thought they would pull it all together in their final year of high school and then go to med school. It is often tough for some kids to have a good handle on what they are willing and able to do to be successful. This is something that is difficult to figure out.
@@SamIAm-kz4hg I totally agree. I am also a teacher but with much less experience than you. However, i do believe that being at university allows students to actually understand what they trully want rather than what they dream of at a younger age/what their expected to achieve from their parents (especially for asian students). Goals should be realistic and we also have to have passion about what we study to trully thrive. I struggled in my country after moving there to finish my master degree. I struggled with arabic, with the lack of facilities provided where electricity and using lab equipments were a daily struggle and having to succeed as a women in a male environment just allowed me to realise how determined i was to learn more. There are many factors that effects a successful education such as passion, having realistic dreams and being in an environment that can provide the best facilities and support that many students take for granted.
I was top of my class. Went to law school. Nearly cracked. I quit law school and applied for a two-year degree as a woodworking technician. By being innovative, I now make plenty of money, and I have a ton of free time. My point: prestige isn't everything. Smart people can often work their way up, even in "lower level" occupations. At the local CLT factory, we have a gigantic CNC machine. I first taught myself to operate it, while working the assembly line. Then, I taught myself how to program the thing. Then, I developed plans on how we could improve and speed up the entire operation. All I'm saying, is that there are great careers out there, in places where you may not have realized.
@@TheLastMimzie A lot of them did though. Bezos went to Princeton, Gates and Zuckerberg went to Harvard, and Buffet went to Columbia business school. Steve Jobs went to community college, but he still graduated from high school. You don't have to be great academically to make money and have a good life. And the academic path is not the only path to success. But, one thing that's true is that a lot of the poorest people in the world didn't do very well in school. On average people with college degrees earn more money than those without.
@@sebfox2194 I know all that, I just hate the misconception that you have to be dumb if you don't get straight As. And also the misconception that having straight As means you're super intelligent. Just not true
@@TheLastMimzie I agree with your point that you're not necessarily dumb if you don't do well in school. And that you can also succeed in life despite not doing well in school. I just think your first statement that most of the richest people in the world didn't graduate high school is not true, because most of them did.
When he was talking about his parents, you can hear his voice trembling, you can just imagine how he must have felt when his parents kept calling him and he couldn’t give them the answer they expected. It hurts cause I’m pretty sure alot of us experienced / is experiencing some form of this.
Thats so true..I thought no one noticed it and I was the only one who felt that his voice was trembling when he was talking about his parents..it's so sad when realities breaks us..🙁
I resonated with him when talking about his parents, its the same how my parents treat me. They view me as the bread winner as I am the first born and there were high expectation but in reality, I was just that one average Asian who sometimes gets a high grade sometimes just a passing mark. Right now, my parents often ask me how my job hunting is and I'd say literally the same lines as Alex said.
Hello! How is everyone? If anyone needs someone to listen, someone to talk to, or a friend. I am here to talk, listen, and be a friend. Know that you are amazing and have rights as a human. Please have appropriate action for anything that you know is wrong. Anything that seems bad or wrong in your life right now will get better. Please don't do what is wrong, fighting back and harming others will not solve the problem. Please understand that and do the good thing. It will one day come back to you. The people in the world are so much more than what we know about them, not everyone opens up about the beautiful things and acts they have witnessed, not all those amazing doings are acknowledged. Please understand that and know that. If you feel like no one cares about you, know that I care about you. Together, we can be a better community. Stay safe, healthy, happy, kind, understanding, positive and strong!
Yeah, I went to study abroad to make my parents proud and it was pretty much that, I became all depressed (almost suicidal) because my parents spent so much money for me and I wasn't able to do good enough no matter how much effort I spent, I would be taking it in while talking with my parents throught webcam and cry just after ending the call, it was very hard for me to get out of that toxic mentality, gather myself together and find a sense of value were my grades didn't define how much I was worth
Everytime I struggle in my job and don't perform as well as others despite trying my best, I will return to this video to remind myself that we are always on a bell curve and someone has to take the bottom. I graduated from a prestigious university with a good GPA hence this phase of "adulthood" and adjustment has been very trying on me. I relate to this guy so much
I never cared about my scores at all but never really struggled during school either. I went through uni (4 years of electrical engineering degree) without much issue. I was the type of student that never go in classes, study by himself and only show up at exams. I finished with a degree above average of my group but not by much, I shown up at any party I could find, closing bars with friends all years long. Easily the best 4 years of my life. Do you know which question I never got asked by a recruiter? What is your score\grade? Unless you really want to do a master or phd, on the job market scores barely matter. If you are unlucky it will a tiny bit for the first job. After that, experience gained from job is wayyyyyyyyyy more important. No one will ever request your school grades ever again. Work enough to get through and not more and take all the time left to enjoy every spare minute you have to party. Our favorite line back then was: D for Diploma.
I’ll never forgot we had this one kid in our school. Pham. #4 ranked in the school, had scholarships to like every Ivy League school out. The principal literally came into a class of his I happened to be in to tell him all the schools he got accepted to which was like 30 of them. He went to harvard, Anyway i decided to go to a junior college down the street. 2 years later he was in one of my classes in junior college. I was shocked as hell. I was like brooo what the hell why are you here!! Ain’t you go to harvard… He just looked at me with this dreadful face like almost of pure sadness and just nodded his head and was like… it was to much man. My grandmother and parents no longer support me or talk to me… but honestly i’m happier here. It was to much. I am still in shock to this day
That is sad to hear, but I don't blame him for leaving. He needs to be happy to some degree in order to survive. I am happy for him. There is so much pressure to be number one even in normal schools. I was talking to my teacher a few years ago (I have already graduated high school) and I said that it wasn't fair the way the grades are done. He agreed with me because it wasn't fair to put a child whose parents were not so involved in his life next to a child who had all the resources and financial help at his disposal which determined who is the better student. By default it would be the one with resources from the get-go, assuming they were both intellectually capable of the same things.
Haha. When he said he couldn't even do one, I almost laughed my ass off. Dude goes to Harvard and can't even figure out how to pivot away from grades and social life for a week to at least crush sleep? He isn't any college material.
@@richszeszko8844 maybe because if he chose that option he'd fall behind too much to catch up? He already illustrated pretty well that he's a hard working and accomplished overachiever type before he went to Harvard. This guy has never seen a C grade on anything he did and now he suddenly got them almost exclusively. That's not something you'd expect from someone who had a well established game plan that works for him. He's obviously been dumped into a situation that's hard to relate to from an outside perspective.
@@Nova-du5on eh...i mean it could go eitherway depending on writers intention. If you have any experience in overworking in any field you'd know that proper resting may look like wasted time but would actually save you a lot more because you perform better. That's the way i understood it. I was just picturing that it might not be viable anyway.
Maybe that’s the education they were missing: knowing how to deal with not being the best, „failing“, not getting what they want or think they deserve. Harvard is gifting them a very important life lesson/experience
This man gave a 13 minutes speach with no mistakes or awkward silence. I can't even talk in front of my class for 2 minutes without having an anxiety attack
That's because he was speaking his mind , his mind is clear. When your mind is uncluttered you can speak with confidence , then you won't think what others are going to think about you , you just think for your self
Trust me I was at the same position at you are,once you are confident about yourself you will see a drastic change in yourself.i have seen a great changes my life,trust me.i cant emphasize on how beleving in yourself could make a difference.just be clear of your thoughts. And also even if you makes some mistakes it's okay my friend, everybody will laugh at you and giggle at you but that's how people grow.ik it's embarrassing it's really embarrassing but after 2years you would laugh at these things.i have experienced same thing so I can tell you.ANYWAY, BEST OF LUCK FOR FUTURE!!
Nothing is impossible. I struggled my whole life, was kicked out of my house at a young age, had $15 left in my bank account, had to find a minimum wage job, work for 5 hard years nonstop and go from paycheck to paycheck just to be able to purchase a data plan which enabled me to write this review and tell you that I have never been to Harvard
Alex, you honesty is outstanding. More high school students need to know that the first year of college is difficult no matter what school they are in. It is a big adjustment. You have to get to know your professors and see what their styles and expectations are. It is common for A students in high school to get Cs the first semester. A B at Harvard means you still worked hard. It is sad that there is so much pressure. I didn't go to Harvard. I always did my best and I didn't really care about my grades. My parents expectations from elementary school on, were do your very best. I know Asian students have a lot of pressure from day one because of the competition. If they could relax a little more, they would most likely do better grade wise. I lived in China for 3 years. Alex, you will go far in life where ever you work. Just always stay as honest as you were in this TEDx.
Ashutosh Singh, Where did you graduate? at Harvard? He graduated from Harvard and, believe me, he knows how to be successful and he has that potential.
@@artificialintelligence5787 believe you? no, you give no credentials to be trustworthy. You can lose the 'believe me' cliche as not even kids will fall for that. It is a myth that every harvard graduate is successful. potential? yes. not necessarily successful. There's been enough studies and articles written about this. I could say believe me, but since I'm not retarded I'll just say do your own research.
He probably forgot about most of the things he studied in harvard and remaining other things he will never use it in real life. But because he is hardworking he will still be successful in the future. Harvard doesn't have intelligent people it just has hardworking people that will be successful no matter what.
BRYCE not a rule. Some poor guys from my country (Brazil) got into harvard. But these are some rare examples. But i wont put enough time to search better about it.
@@xhorizon1976 but we can't be the ones to die when we are the ones doing the exterminating and the fact that pussies like you could never fight back let alone hurt a fly xD
@@xhorizon1976 but yet he never inferred racial genocide but yet you use it as your topic example. Clearly showing how far you took his statement that you would go to assume that it borders the lines of racial genocide. But if that be the case then yes... We need an idiot genocide :)
I was not from Ivy-League university, but I can totally understand what he has gone through. I was doing very well academically in primary school, and ended up in one of the top secondary school in my country. And somehow, I still able to do well academically. Despite having social awkwardness, I was still well known in my batch as sometimes I scored excellent in certain subjects while others failed in that subject. But things changes as I enter university. Even though the university is not of Ivy-League, I was surrounded by the best of the best in their high school. And for the first time in my life, I almost failed in one of my module. As much as I aimed to score high, I knew at that time, its not possible. So instead, I reduced my expectation and ensure myself not to fail in any modules. And I did it. I graduated in chemical engineering without failing in any modules. I was still able to do and graduated with a PhD later, and now working as a Postdoctoral Researcher. Meanwhile, some of my primary and secondary classmates who didnt do well academically, become more successful and wealthier than me. I was puzzled and analyzed what make them different from me? Turns out instead, we had the same mentality but different path and goal. And that is: determination and never give up. Hence I came out a quote: " Getting good grades doesnt make you a billionaire." It doesnt matter whether you can study or not. What is matter is to find the right environment for yourself, and then work hard to be successful. Being a postdoctoral researcher is not easy, but somehow is the right environment for me, and thats how I can succeed in career. But if I switched role with my friend who is wealthy as he is good in sales and business, I dont think I can be successful in sales and business, while I dont think he will be successful in doing research. This is something that I hope every parents, especially Asian parents, will finally understand.
@@gmailhmmm2850 it is asian parents have this ideology that pride is everything and as you grow up thats all you know, pride so when you fail and you tell people its like destroying everything you lived for or how you were taught growing up. its very different for asian people and how how much they want their parents approval its on a different level.It is about race everything is bout race which is bad but the cold reality.
@@gmailhmmm2850 it is absolutely about race. i don't think asian people are the only people to experience academic pressure and there are definitely some asian people who don't but overall the need for prestige and pride is completely ingrained in asian culture. it's in the way we (as asians) talk to our kids, talk to our friends, talk to ourselves, etc. it is 100% about race and the particular cultural, familial, and societal pressure of being asian is something that i don't think any non-asian will understand.
A brave and brilliant young man shared his true feelings and experience to enlighten others. Then you see all these negative and sarcastic comments. Don't mind them. Stay strong and Carry on.
@@notyou4430-> Did you go to Harvard? He was very specific at his intended topic ( check the title of the video). If you did not attend and graduate from Harvard, you are not privy to what he is talking about. And yes, the ideas in his talk is "original" because he is relating his "own and actual" Harvard experience; not anyone else. "YOU SEE THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE."
TALK ABOUT YOU'VE NEVER GOT AN -A NOW YOU COME TELL US IT'S STRESSFUL FOR YOU, THAT YOU COULDN'T BE A PRESIDENT I MEAN I ASSUME TS SO HARD FOR YOU, GFYS.
What do you call a person who went to Harvard and graduated with a C+ average? A Harvard graduate. About two, maybe three, seconds after you graduate no one cares anymore about what grades you got.
Ohhh how far from the truth that is. Top companies look at your grade. I go to law school and I know someone who was invited for a dinner by a company. They were asking questions about why and how her grades were lower in her 1st and 2nd year going over it course by course.
@@GetTheGames For your first job, maybe and only "top companies". Maybe! Frankly, your example is much further from the truth (for the majority of people) than my comment.
@@ManOfLaBookDotCom now I don't know how it's like in your country, but in Belgium in sectors where the influx of certain degrees is too big they don't just look at the degree anymore, but their grades. It's an objective way to measure someone's "worth" in their eyes. That is why it's far from the truth. Most of your maybe's don't apply. Even non top companies use this method.
My mans was living for his parents not for him. He got a lot out of Harvard and is definitely tough because of it, but i feel like my mans was just trying to please everyone but himself
be that as it may, but billions of people will be jealous of him, life is not sure all somewhat happy. being force to study the perosn is given at least a good preparation for life
@@vishurana2362 Asians follow Confucius ideals. In the old country if you're good enough for Harvard, that's middle class maybe. Asia is uber corrupt. So when they go to places where there isn't a Merit Cap, they usually become super successful. But the world always isn't true, it's more like 20% to 30% of them follow through with it all. Which is astronomically higher than that in other cultures.
@Jesse McFarland-Ward Not really. Pick up some random American or Europeon and they'll most likely fail if dropped in Asia or even within their own domestic systems. It's a culture issue. Africa has some top talent as well but usually it's concentrated at the top as with most nations.
@@thesaddestdude3575 His SAT score would barely put him in the 25th percentile there. Harvard doesn't like to give specifics on who they admit, but people who are applying there typically have 15+ AP classes while he has 5. His awards are actually pretty good but will be vastly overshadowed by the others at Harvard
@@burgos582 Its wild, i can't imagine what is needed to get a perfect A score across the board, i remember having a teacher that just didn't like me so he gave me shitty grade, what must one do in order to always ace everything. These people would have to excell on so many levels, and get the perfect conditions at the same time, i just can't imagine that there would be enough to fill these universities.
so after watching whole video and reading comments, i can conclude that never ever compare yourself with others no matter at which stage you are. When comparison starts, depression comes in.
@Debasis kumar But we weren't talking about other countries. This is just Harvard, and I do get your reasoning, but whites do play a significant role in out status as a country
Harvard is overrated lol. It is now imbued of privileged silver spoon fed students. I think MIT, National University of Singapore, and University of Hong Kong are better.
Believe this or not, Asians engineers in USA are more skilled than whites and so have higher salaries. Asian women earn roughly the same money as white men.
Because it is when compared to someone like him. Overachievers in academics who have zero interest in liberal arts, wouldn't wipe their ass with a degree from NYU lmao.
They don't have Mandatory flunking, bottom 10% of every course. "We have the computer do it, it's not fair but it is impartial." Only half of the freshman class should be allowed to graduate.
I’m currently in one of the top foreign language high schools in south korea. As a sophomore which is the first year of hs in korea, everyone seems way too smart compared to me and I couldn’t be more worried about my future. Apparently a lot of ppl have depression and anxiety from so so much stress and barely any sleep. Graduates say they were very sick for years afer they graduated. Some were told they wouldn’t live longer than 30. Although this is high school, I highly sympathized to this video considering hs has less stability and almost no vision for the future. The truth is that I don’t have a dream, no idea what I wanna be. But maybe it’s ok. I’ve spent about two weeks at my new hs. Maybe one day I’ll look back on today and say what a state I was in. I’ll work hard, no matter how stressful, and hopefully, I’ll survive through the tough 3 years😊.
What makes harvard the top school is they only get the cream of the crop of high school students. It's not really that hard to make overachievers and geniuses to perform brilliantly. I think it is more impressive of a school to take an average student and make him a cream of the crop graduate.
It's like God wanted me to watch this video. I'm preparing for the biggest exam in India and literally every night, I go to bed and then stress out about how the day went, "Have I studied enough?", "Have I utilised my time well?", "Do I really need to sleep right now?". I really need to reevaluate my priorities.
I struggled even in high school. My most challenging subject was English because it was my second language. And I continued to struggle even at an average college. Higher education is not for everyone. Just choose that path that makes you happy.
Einstein refused many degrees offered by top ranking universities, he didn't have degree. He made his name a title with efforts not with these universities.
If you're genius then you don't need get a stamp of these universities to be known as genius. Believe in your strength not in improving some other points, if you fail at exams it's okay, that doesn't mean you're worthless. Always remember that you're not machine to be perfect at a certain task you can choose your tasks on your own, no matter if it's artist, singers, or technological hobbyists. You have one life one chance, but a lot of time. Try to stand among geniuses with your strengths not with your improved weakness, enhance your talent, don't supress it cuz that's gonna let you think, decide, win everything.
I went to a top university to become a “doctor” and end up being a “ nurse aid”…I saw my college class mate in the real world as a doctor as I was working as a nurse aid… I was embarrassed …but I carry on and kept my nurse aid job..I’m starting a family soon and life goes on. In my 20 plus year as a nurse aid…all doctors and nurses respect my views and me. I’ve realized like you siad…not everyone can be doctors or nurses..and WE DAMN NEED A GOOD NURSE AID🙌🏼👍🏽👍🏽
@@tmic3273 seriously? People go to college to get a certain degree so that they get that certain job they studied so hard for or they were so forced to study for. It's not easy when someone couldnt get a job they thought they would get since they studied for it. That's the point.
"If you don't design your own life's plan, chances are you'll fall into somebody else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much." Jim Rohn
Appreciate the sharing of this young man. Both of our boys graduated valedictorian in their respective class of over 800 in N. Texas. One attended and graduated from Princeton and the other from Harvard. The older boy learned how to be humble at Princeton when he discovered that 24 of 28 in his class were valedictorians, and he didn't get any A in his first 6-weeks report. Getting into those schools isn't the hardest, to graduate from them is.
I forwarded this video to our 2 boys now in their late 40s. Here is the short message I attached with the video: Watching this video helps me to understand how ignorant we parents are to know our kids and their struggles during and after their college years. I am more thankful to see my kids and their endurance during those years. May the Lord continue to guide you and provide the strength you need to go through all the ups and down of life.
Looks actually matter 100%. But smart doesnt have to matter. Take billionaire robert herjavec for example. Did his bachelors in arts, and is now the founder of a cyber security company thats related to computer science. Skills complement knowledge. If you dont have skills, only knowledge, then you are pretty useless.
For real, also I think many many college students have depression regardless of the college they go to. Personally was depressed in community college and that was very easy. Future uncertainty is also really anxiety inducing...
I've just started at Oxford and can already recognise a lot of this. Everybody I've spoken to has imposter syndrome, but knowing that doesn't help very much. I'm in the library until 1 AM most nights and secretly feel like I'm not good enough to do this degree. There are bars to prevent people jumping out of the windows in my accommodation. However, I would still say going to a prestigious university is well worth it, because the flip side of no longer being the smartest person in the room is that you get to learn from your peers.
Be confident Emily. You earned your place. You might feel like a smaller fish in a big sea, but you are still great. And please talk to your pastoral tutors - being in the library till 1am isn't sustainable. I went to Cambridge, was wowed by the clever people, never really felt up to their standards but luckily there was no email, no social media... Please do get support as it's there for you to feel better x
Come on now Emily you've got too good of an education to be telling people those bars are to prevent people jumping. My friend went to Oxford on the Fulbright scholarship, he and I would both tell you the only stick through it if you're enjoying yourself at some level. Otherwise that's an incredible amount of effort and opportunity to plunge into the wrong direction
@@kezzaradden I went to a small but respected school for accounting, a lot of us were in the library for literal days on end. There was a nice corner table that was a little too convenient for napping. I know of at least two people whose phones automatically assigned the library as the address of their home residence. This is where it's earned.
Honestly, "The Kissing Booth" directors need to see this. Harvard isn't a community college... Who tf would accept Elle to get into Harvard with that essay of hers, let alone call Harvard her "back up option"
Im doing Engineering and it is all a mind game. Your doing mathematics and logic problems for 9+ hours a day. Ive watched a lot of navy seal training documentaries, and engineering school is very similar in that it is an extreme mental and physical stress test. You have to learn the ability to tell yourself "Im not going to quit, its just not going to happen." You can take two roads, push your emotions down until they explode out of you and you suffer a panic attack, or learn to flow with the stress and continually view every stressful situation as the greatest possible thing that could have happened to you. Im working hard on teaching my brain to do the latter.
Yea I was definitely disappointed that I didn’t get into Oxford because I want to have that “dream school” on my resume. After watching this video it’s definitely a blessing in disguise. I’m currently at University of Helsinki and it’s so far it’s the best experience ever. :) met tons of friends, professors care about your mental health and still push you to succeed, and I get time to focus on myself. Thanks for sharing Alex, never go by worldly standards, each individual including you all have an awesome destiny in the future than what a “dream school” can offer.
Finally somebody who's got the guts to speak out - I respect that guy more than any overachiever who acts like a perfect person straight from elite education. This guy is authentic and most importantly, he is realistic.
Realistic? He go to ivy league school with the expectation of getting top1 lmao. Going there to get a number instead of getting actual education? Wow. Also those people dont act like they are perfect, they are merely flexing what they work really hard for.
This resonates alot with life during medical school no matter how hard you try you will still get Bs & Cs sometimes D. Stress is immersurable continuous even post graduation and for the rest of your life you are expected to be on 120% performance all the time
Mostly in Asia parents are competitive so they put pressure to their children at young age so when it comes to school students are very competitive and don't get that much of social life. It's always school and home.
I know it sucks, but somebody has to do it. Im black and my parents had no idea how to raise me to do that. I asked about Harvard when I was in middle school and my mom said that I needed to get ready for harvard when I was in 2nd grade and to give up. I would not be the least bit sorry I was Asian and got beat by my parents when young. Look and how it worked out. You guys even killed Affirmative Action which was I admit very illusive mechanism. What person would say that all this is not worth it after graduating Harvard and being a CEO or something?
@Dragoslav Vega, Brazilian-American Nationalists Well i can Kinda agree ;d i am from Georgia ;d Idk Is it Considered as an Asian Country Or not But A lot of Parents Rly do want Their Children to be the best and Unique to brag about their Achievements With Neighbours :ddd
Back when i was 14 or something, my vice school principal left me with very wise words. "It is better to be the king of the shit pond, than to be shit of the king pond" This is the one phrase that i followed all my life. Am a much happier person living life in my own stride, pops and moms don't get to ride a Mercedes, but we don't really need it anyways.
Wow !that's some wise words.My father used to tease me whenever I achieve something that ,I'm just the king of shit pond😂that used to burden me when I was young but well now I know the other perspective u can go around it 🔥
Yes he is so right I went to Fordham University For my BA, New York College of Podiatric Medicine for my DPM and Adelphi University for my MBA before I tried out of necessity of running a multiple office practice as the CEO to do certificate programs at The executive education aspects of Wharton, Cornell, Columbia and Harvard. Now I applied and was accepted to Cornell for my MHA so that I can educate myself and implement that knowledge to better understand public health and healthcare so that my business can evolve into a compassionate and successful healthcare system.
@@iamapokerface8992 Stop. Nobody cares if its "cringe" even if based on your opinion as its all completely irrelevant and unnecessary You're clearly the type to make a trite meme word on any possible situation such as "simp, cringe, stfu, boomer" please go back to pewdiepie. I mean nothing against him, he's a cool guy, but you're a representation towards his younger audience
Asian people, listen up, stop trying to make your Asian parents proud, it can never be achieved. Instead, you make yourself proud by achieving the goals that you set for yourself. You will never find happiness if your number one objective in life is to please other people.
People he’s talking to the most intelligent of the country, informing them that sometimes the better schools aren’t always better for the individuals themselves.
I entered a school as one of the 500 freshmen. Every semester large chunks of my batchmates fail to reach the required GPA and they get booted out. Only 10 of us reached senior year after four years. The amount of anxiety I experienced every day in worrying that my head could be next on the chopping block had a profound effect on me decades later. I suffer PTSD wherein until this day, I have a recurring dream of the traumatic experience I went through for four years.
Some people from ''dream schools'' have made the software behind it, with the explicit intention to manipulate and control. Experts at behaviour and maths guide us for profit and marketing.
When I was younger, my teachers called me a genius and a really nice student. As a result, my mom had high expectations for me to go to Harvard or Stanford. She shamed me when I told her I didn't want to do it because I was struggling with my own personal problems.
@@Starlight-sc4bp not trying to be rude, but the teachers that called you a genius didn't do you a favor. Anyone that calls kids with good grades "geniuses" or "highly intelligent" is setting them up to fail as they begin to be deluded by grades and forget than grades are a result of work ethic, not intelligence. Intelligence comes from health.
Thank you for this. I'm going through an identity crisis and struggling to find my place in the world. I am only 20 but very anxious and terrified of what my future holds. I'm also afraid of applying to a part time job for the summer. I am so lost, I just wish I had a friend to talk to.
@@dawn-blade I have an exactly same problem. Today I even thought about committing suicide, but after watching this video and reading inspiring comments, I got better. BTW I'm 20 too. If you wish, we can be friends.
It's the curse of the Asian child --- they are brainwashed from age 2 that their sole purpose in life is to appease their parents' wishes for them --- they are too WEAK to break away from these asshole parents and forge their own life
Hell, I dropped out of high school and became a self taught artist, and I actually enjoy my days very much now. It's hard to be poor, but I couldn't imagine doing anything I like more with my life.
I feel bad for kids who think they're the smartest or the best athlete, because the reality is that once you're in college or the real world, you're just another person.
I am currently working for a Doctor who went to Harvard and he said that students there are robots. They are numb emotionally. Now I finally understood what it meant lol
Honestly there is one youtuber named John Fish who despite having an extremely strict schedule, he still seems to enjoy his time. But then again, he might be a genius even for Harvard's standards since he aces at his exams.
Wow! After watching #GZA's #LiquidScience on Netflix... they seem to be Obsessed w/turning the world in to a #Robot populace. :-( ...this school and others...may have gotten the mechanical-memo to train them [the students] as such. Scary!
We will all be dead in a hundred years. All the fame, fortune and glory will count for nothing. Enjoy life, because it's the only one you'll have. (Take this advice from an old guy with no regrets.)
That's not true at all. What you do in Life can inspire other People, sons, friends, relatives ecc... if you are famous you can inspire people from all over the world.
@@doublezzmilesi3448 You both are correct. David Howard is correct that later in life you discover that all that stuff you worried about, ends up wasn't worth your worry. You are correct because it's the Asian way to do things to help your kids and future generations live a better life even after we are gone. People will find out what college you went to won't matter as much as whether you had the guts to invest in real estate in the right locations when you had the chance and other such factors.
@@svmathtutor You become older, but what you do remains , your actions, your decisions, your words. You can even know that you inspired someone in his Life journey . But obviously all these things must be done because you want It, because you want to be successful and because you got It. Build, create something that's the Life meaning.
Unless you WANT to be stressed or you're some crazy genius like Einstein, it's better to go to a school that's right for you. I've noticed that when I'm in regular classes I actually prepare more and try my best to be number one because it's supposedly easier. When I take harder classes (AP), I don't try as hard because I know that it will be almost impossible to be number one. It's just like if someone asked you to swim next to Michael Phelps. Maybe you are a very good swimmer, but you will be less motivated or say "it's ridiculous" to race him because he's one of the fastest swimmers in the world. If you were put against some friendly, real competition you would try harder because you could actually win. The main idea is that It's good to be challenged so that you can try your best and learn from others, but you don't want to be trying so hard to the point that you think you're stupid and lose confidence in your abilities. There will always be someone better than you, so it doesn't make sense to compete with those out of your reach. It's like a minimum wage worker trying to compete with Bill Gates. That doesn't mean anything is IMPOSSIBLE, but you have to be willing to accept the stress and crap that goes along with it, because you asked for it. Why is everyone trying to become a billionaire? A million dollars is more than enough for someone. I would rather be the best in some small town then get one of the highest paying jobs there, then compete with elite, wealthy geniuses and end up hating myself for failing. Then when I get that million, I will expand. Edit: some people think that I have a weak mentality but they obviously didn't get what I'm saying. If you are truly talented, you will know it. All I'm trying to say is that there has been a huge misunderstanding in the 21st century where people believe that where you go to college determines your success. The person in this video would've thrived so much more if he went to a college within his league, with healthy competition, but also an environment where he could not lose his confidence. What I'm trying to say here is that you will NEVER be number one, someone better will always eventually come along. The problem today is that everyone thinks they can be number one if they "try their best". This is called fantasy land. At A certain point it's not about practice, it's about luck and god given talent. Michael Phelps is number one because he has abnormally long arms and a long torso. That's something he can't control but was born with so he got LUCKY. Even if you practiced everyday, you couldn't beat his biological advantage. So if you want to spend your whole life chasing the number one spot, go ahead. But as we can clearly see it never brings happiness, it only makes you a loser. We win when we start knowing our limits and maximizing our skills/resources. There will always be the fool that doesn't know when to stop.
Actually the opposite works for me a lot of times. If I compete against someone equal to me, sometimes I feel there's a lot to lose, and panic strikes. If I compete against Phelps, I am anyways the underdog. So I feel free and do the best I can. So for somebody who has the fear of losing, the opposite might work better..
@@bharadwajsangaraju1326 whatever works for you, but if you are always the winner despite how hard you work you will always find someone who will someday defeat you and then you could possibly break down. It's good to know what loosing feels like so it doesn't hit you for the first time when you're like 30. Sometimes you don't even know your true self until you lose. I learned a lot of things about myself after I wasn't perfect in school anymore. It has humbled me and taught me that sometimes I need help from others or that I can't always be the best. I'm not scared of something as silly as getting a B anymore. Also if you're constantly afraid of losing, that means you won't take risks in life. Sometimes to be successful you have to take risks.
Rust Jones I do have to disagree a bit. Regular classes don't compare to Honors, at least where I go. The curriculum is usually better and suits people who want to learn. You're also surrounded by classmates who actually care and pay attention. The implication here is what I experienced in regular classes. Then again, my classes weren't really competitive and the AP courses I'm in are not competitive at all really
I feel bad for individuals like Alex Chang who work so hard to get to a place they want to be but are not rewarded. Do people think these top colleges have a secret formula, new curriculum, or magic book that would put them ahead of everyone else? The answer is no! Everyone uses the same books and receives the same information. The problem in Alex's case he had to pay 40k more than everyone else. As for myself, looking at business schools like Wharton, where some course's content for MBA classes consisted of only articles and no books. These schools aren't providing the same dedication as the students working so hard to be there.
The whole "Getting called everyday by your parents and lying about you doing good even though you are barely making your way through classes everyday while keeping your sanity intact, just so they don't think we are disappointments even though you know they will accept you for who you are" is a very real, and very relatable feeling. Thank you for this, I feel relieved to know I am not alone....
Yes very. I'm currently struggling with med school and keep telling this lie. Now I'm in so deep, and so back that I'm going to have to go an extra year, and I don't know how to deal with that fallout
I vertually cried when hearing this talk. Being an Asian too, I totally understand the ideal of making your parents proud of. My parents have never said a word about that but somehow I can feel it in there eyes, through the 18-year-journey working so hard to pay my tuition fee. It is something so big that press on my shoulder but I can't say to anybody.
They did not work hard to guarantee your success, they worked hard to give you the opportunity for success. Win or Fail, they will be happy because they know that they did their best.
I’m not Asian, I’m Mexican American, however, I feel the same way. I know my parents will get mad if I ever get an A- or a B. I feel like if I do something wrong, I have failed them. It’s stressful.
Damn, this really hitting hard on me rn. I barely passed my 3rd year subjects in undergraduate pre-med course and I’ve been doubting myself for quite some time if I can handle going to med school. It’s really hard not to disappoint your parents and peers around you as an Asian myself. I hope the best for other struggling students out there!
I almost cried. Thank you for this. In high school I was at the top of my class, the smart kid with good grades that gets all the questions right. Now I'm a junior in college and I'm struggling. Like really struggling. When I meet someone from high school and they ask me how is college I feel like crying. They still expect me to be that great smart kid. But I'm barely holding up. I'm at my dream school, yes, but everyones expectations of me are so high that I sometimes want to quit.
There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Ask your professors or academic supervisor, ask your parents for money to hire a tutor, ask classmates who are doing well if you could form a study group with them etc. You don't have to do it all alone.
it was interesting to me that alex said he was not "harvard" material. clearly he was, and yet he did not feel he was. this feeling of inadequacy among overachievers who get into elite schools in actually really common. i felt the exact same way when i was an undergraduate at princeton many years ago, and later, a graduate student at oxford. somehow, i felt i was a fake, my admission was a total fluke, and everyone else belonged. of course i didn't talk about it to anyone! it was only much later that i found out that i was not alone in having these feelings of inadequacy. for years i had nightmares of not finishing my senior thesis at princeton--we are talking decades later! in fact i had finished it in plenty of time, and got an a on it. having lunch one day with a fellow princeton grad, she laughingly told me this "thesis dream/nightmare" was something a lot of princeton alumni shared, even some nobel prizewinners. it is amazing to me that being an overachiever at school often coexists with feelings of not being "good enough", and i find it quite sad.
That is sad but at the same time those feeling probably pushed you to do that extra work and take that extra step which helped shape you into the person you are today
you see, it is always better to feel over prepared than under prepared at the end of the day. I'm still ganna like at my resume that is similar to Alex and still say it's trash, and don't even remind me on the fact that I need a personal essay.
I'm not Harvard material and I know that, my classmates around me always say that I am smart but in reality I'm probably just the average kid who pays attention a bit more and understands the lessons. I am quite lazy so whenever the lessons are boring or the teachers are horrible I usually "give up" and complain in my head but of course no one realizes this, maybe someone close friends noticed that I am a lot different than I seem. It wasn't always like this I used to be quite shy and made friends with the "smarter" people but in just a couple of years I had started acting in a way where I seemed more confident to others when actually I just kept saying I was depressed, which was my way of saying I couldn't be bothered with what to do anymore. My parents are quite harsh went it comes to how they treat me which makes me frustrated and less enthusiastic about everything, it's gotten to the point where I want to avoid talking to my dad and the way they treated my siblings were different (in a good way) and usually spoilt the middle child. They never let us go out by ourselves even if it was to a friends place, to a birthday party or any other group event involving people of my age which definitely had an effect on my social interactions but I knew they were just doing it because they were worried about us. I was the eldest child, I had started worrying about my future such as: Will I be able to get a job? Will I make enough money? Will I still have friends? Will I be able to survive on my own?. I am Asian I am sorry if it seems like I was here only to complain, I just wanted to kind of say what it is like being in that kind of environment and how people might actually feel even if you are being nice to them or trying to help them. Thank you if you took the time to read this!
I feel like we represent that middle route. Smarter than the average joe, but we lacked the resources to succeed like these people. And by resources, its not just money, but time, good parents, productive interests, and pure statistical anomalies in our development that made us feel pressured to succeed in the upper rings but who repeatedly failed. I also feel, however, that the reason we failed to meet expectations is that we held onto ourselves. A Harvard student is only ever a harvard student. A statistic, an example, some ideal that realistically is not available to everyone, and yet we feel like we should belong with them. A harvard student already knows what they are going to do in life. They conformed and they won. There's no shame here in holding true to ourselves, in acknowledging an uncertainty or an unknown. It is better to be moral in the mind than successful in your wallet.
Everyone is Harvard material if they put their time and hard work into it. Few are born geniuses most have earned their way to the top. I was never a genius but through my love for my work and dedication to doing well I got into Johns Hopkins for my Ph.D. and it was a dream come true but hard work is what made it a reality.
I got into Harvard and yeah I confirm it’s true but not impossible… it’s a good place to study and you’ll learn many new things and totally create a new social identity and if course a high sense of self esteem is guaranteed! Good luck to all those who are aiming it
more asian parents need to see this
Hi Caitlyn, speaker Alex here! Yes they need to. I'll be most grateful if you can help me share! Thanks in advance! :)
Most hispanic parents need to see this due to how ignorant alot are lol well at least mine and my friends
I think everyone need to see this
It’s not like they’d care to understand any ways
True
"If you are used to being successful in life , it will be hard for you to deal with failures."
@Muhammad Kaz Kaz 🚫🧢
Trump Cant Stop Winning!
Failing is good since it can make you go harder.
Oh yeah yeah you can't succeed without failures first
Oh yeah oh yeah
"my first c+ in my life"
Rookie numbers. Been rolling with c+'s since 6th grade.
Rookie numbers mate. I never went to school so I don't even have grades.
same😂😭
“D” is for diploma am I right guys??? 😅
A kindred spirit.
@@tdjkhazard4522 and Degrees lol
Imagine waking up one day at university not knowing where your friend/ roommate is then some proctors knock at your door and say that your friend committed suicide.
That would hit me hard
miss u everyday lil bro
@@nahidsumon9635 nobody asked
Haha you challenge my mental breakdowns weaklings?
I would go into the wild and become an hippie
Why would someone commit suicide because of college?
Before I left for college, my Dad told me something I have always remembered. "You got in because you finished at the top of your class, but everyone else there finished at the top of his class too. And after first semester, most of you won't be at the top of your class anymore. Whatever you do, don't flunk out and don't drop out. Your mother and I don't care if you graduate last - just graduate in four years." I did, and I've since realized that most people don't even care where I went to college, let alone my GPA or my class rank. I'm so thankful my Dad told me that because I was able to go for me, not anyone else.
Your dad is great, you are so lucky
That's some cool dad! Congratulations
I know lol
Even when u apply for a job they won't look at what college you went. To or your degree but only your expirence
Your Dad sounds awesome
That is completely true. In real life and real jobs it is more important your attitude and emotional intelligence to deal with anything.
When he says that he wants to be successful for his parents, you could hear his voice trembling and my heart just broke.
Yes i did omg!😭😭😭😭😭
I can relate to him ..
If that's how your parents make you feel, they're not worth it. They should have already instilled in you that your life is your own. They shouldn't need you to make them happy. That's their failure there, right there. Life is so much more than 'success'. It's not real love if they're going to be unhappy because you're unsuccessful and they can't be proud of you. They should care more that you live a healthy, happy life surrounded by people you love and who love you back. And people shouldn't be loving you for your success either, because that's bullshit love. That's what real success is. And trust me, very very few people get that. Regardless of what school they went to or how much money they make. Work on your spirituality kids, the other stuff is dumb and superficial. If you love your work do it for itself, not for the success it will bring.
@@dailybls I agree, Imo being supportive of the positive things their kid can do is the best way a parent can show their love. If their kids stray to a darker path though like consumption of narcotics or commiting crimes then it's the parent's job to set it right (it's still a form of support), but nonetheless never make them feel like they are indebted to the parents, because the parent's job is to guide their kids to be able to make their own decisions as they grow up and be able to live without their parents.
Omg yes
Thought he gon cry
Y’all, no one is commenting about his friend, John, who committed suicide🤷🏼♂️ I just think it’s sad that someone would really do that because of school.
Ohhh yes you would
I mean, I'm even considering it myself
But I probably won't though because what if I survive and I'm left with a major injury or something
Besides i still believe i can turn around my academic life
But honestly, college education at an A class college is fucking depressing and can lead you to some really dark places
he never referred him he was suicidal because of school work. But im sure youre more than half right to blame it on school.
@@comforth3898 I don't know you and anything, but please don't take your life
You have the right approaches, I know it's not easy, but talk to someone about what you think
It can be a friend, family member or a stranger like me
Hope your life changes to a better one
@@comforth3898 There was a girl at my school who was so stressed and depressed that she committed suicide - even those who didn't know her were mourning for the pain she must have felt. I've had friends contemplate suicide because of school, and it's hard not to mourn with them for feeling like all hope is lost and their destiny is set for failure and more sadness.
But that's absolutely not the case. A few years back I was in a very dark and anxious place, and I kept having thoughts that my life was just going to be a life of suffering - i would grow up and be an adult and still be suffering and feeling guilty all the time. It took me a lot to realize that those thoughts were not true, but complete lies, and not everything that i thought was true. Not everything that you think true. What you feel is undoubtedly there, but why it is there may not be what you think.
Please talk these thoughts to someone outloud. Please talk to someone. Help is available, and strength is also. From a fellow college kid, please hold on.
uhhmm you'll be surprised on how many students commit suicide because of studies. It's good tho that you didn't know about this. :)
My friend went to Harvard because her parents wanted her to. She went into a deep depression and ended up transferring to another university after only one semester. Needless to say she was much happier.
i'm so sorry to hear that!! hope she's doing good right now
Good for her..
Why she got depressed and what average i.q. can pass in harvard?
many think, harvard will make your future a better , thats not true, JEFF bezos ceo of Amazon, didnt even go to harvard yet he makes billions everybody knows his by now, he has more money than anyone than any person you can think, more than tesla, you name it
@@alfiemarc8852 jeff went to Princeton
I’ve always said “I wanna go to some Ivy League school when I grow up” but recently I’ve been thinking of how hard it would be to compete with thousands of other number 1s who are also realizing that they can’t all be #1 anymore
At some cushy Ivy League school?
@@Bruh-bk6yohow is it cushy? You have to study really hard if not you will be kicked out by these colleges.
@@Bruh-bk6yotry university of Texas
couldve gone pro if i hadnt joined the navy
@@rgseven6557Translator note: Cushy ivy league school is an expression usages by the vidoe game antagoniat "Senator Armstrong" from the video game: Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance which is a spin off of a video game series: Metal Gear Solid by Hideo Kojima
"It's called dream school because it's not within your ability", it is very true.
@@hansbrackhaus8017 um.....okay.....
It's always within someone's ability, though. There's always someone smarter than you - yeah, but there's also someone who's actually the absolute smartest.
I'm very bad academically so I can't relate to it.
you name it dreamy school because you made it as a huge place where you can not achieve it even if you really suit the position. after 7 years of lying to myself, I do have to admit the only thing you need is to believe in yourself. not every smart guy is making the next big thing. not every average or poor guy has to be jobless. Just believe in yourself and fight for what you want but remember the only important part of it is that perseverance.
Plat i dont think so, a dream house should be a goal :)
His voice was trembling the whole time and it sounded like he was about to cry I felt so bad
YayItsFranny first person who didn’t have a first and last name username
yes, they are for real. i have used them too
I thought the trembling was just the anxiety brought on by public speaking, except for the moment he was talking about his parents; he really did sound like he was struggling to keep his composure.
you felt it because i think you never felt it often, think about us in our country we feel this every time even before high schools even me. you know many of the students dies here cuz of pressure created by competition. Here if you don't wanna starve out of hunger etc then study hard. don't take term 'starve' too serious but it's kinda like this
No he's not lol
This guy was on the brink of tears and I’m so proud of him for telling us his story.
Yeah, his voice was cracking little bit the time he was talking about his friend that committed suicide. Great guy, would love to have him as a friend
well, to be fair, being a catamite isn't easy.
@@alethes.sophia what the heck?
@@Daniel.Emmanuel10 oh, it's nothing you would understand with your uninitiated mind.
@@alethes.sophia I think he was saying "what the heck" more in the sense that he is shocked about what you said not his understanding of the word.
I came back to this video after my friend passed away due to the same reason. It's been almost a year since the incident happened, but it's still engraved in my brain. The first time I watched this was 2 years ago, when I was working on my essays for US uni apps. Didn't get into any, and I ended up going to a prestigious university in Asia instead. Felt like a failure, but I was doing alright. COVID made it very hard to socialize and talk to people, but I still managed to become friends with a few. Halfway through my first sem, one of the few friends I made at uni passed away. And I still don't know why he made that decision. I still have messages from him on my phone that he sent the day before he passed away. Nothing seemed wrong. I still remember this extroverted, hard-working person who was mature and wise. But now, it's as if he didn't exist in the first place. Everyone who used to know him pretends like they don't know him at all, but I still open up the messages we sent each other every once in a while just to remind myself he did exist. Being a uni student sometimes sickens me. The day after I found out my friend died, I woke up early to finish an assignment that was due at midnight. I prepared for my tests and exams, and got surprisingly good scores. But inside, I was devastated, trying to cope with the situation. Being academically successful doesn't mean you're more organized and stable than the rest. It's absurd how we all pretend to be alright when we know no one is truly alright.
抱抱你😢
希望所有的人都能够找到让自己内心平静的方式❤❤❤，人类从来都没有容易过但我们有能力让自己感到平和的心态，如音乐，自然界中的⛰️林🌲🌹❤❤❤。🫂🫂🫂❤
@@xiaoqingling1500 couldn't agree more ❤
You have good english
I'm 27, went to a crappy unpopular college and got a bachelor's in computer science. Now I work at NASA as a cyber security engineer, don't have any student debts and own a condo. So please think again before applying to an Ivy league school. -- Correction, I don't own the condo, I have a mortgage, but you get the point. Also I just finished a Master's in Cybersecurity at a better school
If this is true, congrats
@coward LOL!
Wowww! I am so impressed! It gives me more motivation!!! Thank you for sharing your story
Wow I feel so inspired
Flex
This was almost the exact same lecture I got during my medical school orientation. The problem is that people build their identities around their achievements. When this happens a failure is not simply a failure - it's an attack on who you are.
*Know this:* You are more than your achievements. If you fail you are still the same person who achieved, but now you have an opportunity to learn and improve from life's greatest lesson, failure.
oh god, I really want to get into med school it's my "dream".. but everyone makes it so dificult. what do i do?
@@mustafaaa772 Someone once told me medicine is a lousy job, but a wonderful calling. The most rewarding things in life are not born out of being comfortable. If you really want it, and are willing to sacrifice for it, then go for it.
That's easy to say. However, life treats us differently. A better view I think is to accept you can't control all. In fact, you probably control nothing. It's just a ride. Let it flow. Don't be lame and limp, but understand, life is a crapshoot. Things happen in ways, and people often behave in ways, that are beyond reason and expectation.
well said.
Rachel Rogers that’s a really good comment!
In my exams I got an 'A' in every subject.
...'Absent'.
i love you!
Lol
That was great! LOL
Daniel Evans May you were a part time student
How'd that work out? Hard to succeed in your education if you don't f****ng show up.
My father got admitted to Harvard in the 70s but he did not attend because he could not afford the tuition. He instead decided to go to trade school and learn to be a plumber . He retired in 2008 with a plumbing business in Texas having 238 trucks and 560 employees making over 10 mil a year . So moral of the story do what you love and money comes to you no matter which school you go to .
I taught at Harvard for five years. At the beginning of my second semester, I asked the head of the Mental Health dept of Student Services why Harvard people-students AND faculty-were so uniformly miserable. He answered me directly: “Everyone here finds their limits”-i.e., exactly what Alex Chang is describing here-“so they get grumpy and depressed.”
so they're not use to having their resilience tested because their "over-achievers?" or is it for the sake of having "limits" tested?
I don’t know what an overachiever could possibly be. These people are super achievers, many of them, who have never not been good at just about anything the first time they tried. If they tried hard, really worked at something they loved, they never failed; they were unbeatable. Or so they thought till they got to Harvard and were outdone, which to them is the same as failing. So they have to learn how to bounced back, which is a far easier lesson for young kids@@jarry8150
@@rhondarockwell2384 yeah makes sense, so a question of resiliency/mental fortitude. So they’ve excelled at whatever they’re natural inclinations. And when they’re abilities are tested self esteem, self image, ect come into confidence question. Mental resilience cannot be exercised if you’re always “winning” and never experiencing a time that required them to bounce back.
I grew up in the UK and went to Cambridge University. I had the single highest score in Scotland in Chemistry and Maths my year but didn’t top the class at University. I didn’t even come close to the top, though my grades were still good. I was fine. I didn’t die. Because I knew and I know I’m not the best at everything, I can never be the best at everything, and NO ONE is the best at everything. I can appreciate that it’s humbling when you realise you’re no longer the smartest kid in the room (and actually NO ONE is the smartest in the room across all subjects/specialisations) but some people clearly need a reality check ... without trying to sound too harsh. If Einstein was rejected by ETH Zurich I can live with the fact that I’m not the top student at Cambridge University or Oxford University or Harvard University or MIT or Stanford or Princeton or whatever elite university you and thousands of other people went to.
Vince Lombardi
It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.
The most successful person I ever met was my great grandpa. He never learned how to read and worked fields all his life, but he found happiness in all the things that God allotted to him.
Your Grandpa was a genuis...
@@elaineburnett5230 I totally agree with you.
A trully sucessful man, he knew that while school can lead to success, its not the only way and that we should go with what is the best for us and our health, also that you can take pride and be happy in things/jobs that aren't all academic related.
Amen
I'm proud of your great grandfather congratulations 🎊 👏🏿 💐
Okay that triangle thing is so bs. I get no sleep, have no friends and have a 2.0 GPA.
Jamarcus Swindle what?
@@jeezyweezyskeezy lol
Ben Cruz it means to be honest
I'm gonna be honest, that's pretty sad man
Hahah 0/3 in the visible triangle but im sure you have a strong 4th category!
Major props to whoever is running this account for keeping up to date with comments and being supportive for people sharing their personal experiences.
"My first C+ in my life."
i am shook
hippity hopp ikr. When I was younger like getting 9/10 was so tragic I had mini mental breakdowns. Now getting 13/20 and don’t give a fuck lol 😂😂
C+'s aren't that bad, but you've got into the mentality of a guy like him. He's used to getting straight A's for all of his life, so he's not used to this and he considered anything lower than an A- a failure. Plus, I think his parents drilled into him that good grades are all that matters. For me, sometimes the best grade that I get is a C.
i had F- in history... i was basically sleeping in class lul
@@pokiblue5870 sounds like my life.😂😂
Middle school deadass sucks lmfao. I used to be an all honor roll student back in elementary school then I applied for a really good school one of the best in the USA well top 500 at least. First term I was one of the only kids without honor roll. I know how you feel. Also the fact that kids from your old school who you used to overachieve or were better at become better than you.
everybody talks about how hard it is getting into Ivy leagues but no one talks about the struggle after you get in..... Thank you for this perspective! I gotta go show this to my parents now!
Here's something else to show your parents. I'm from an Ivy mill, which is a school district (often public, surprisingly) that grooms students for Ivy Leagues from the moment they enter at age 5. When I entered college I found out that I had been taught all of the college content, the only time I saw anything new was in extremely specialized classes, and in the classes that I took for a masters program. to succeed I slept about 4 hours per night and studied non stop. I was considered the bottom of the barrel at my high school, despite having straight A's in what I now know to have been college courses while being a two season athlete, working two jobs, teaching martial arts, and getting awards for community service. Let me again stress this: I was considered an under achiever. There were people who could do that level of work and also run a club, ace national competitions regularly, etc etc etc. Those are the people going to Harvard. Me? As if. I spent my entire childhood being groomed for an Ivy League and working as hard as I could to do succeed, and I was simply not good enough. This is true of most of my classmates. Some people will go to Harvard, yes. It does not have to be you, it probably won't be you, and there's nothing wrong with that. Go get good grades at a cheap college that'll give you a scholarship; unless you want to work at a fortune 500 company that will be enough. The level of pressure that my classmates and I were under did more harm than attending Ivy Leagues could ever counteract, we had at least 2 suicides a year for every thousand students, and for what? This is less than the stress of attending Harvard. So to parents really pushing for their children to attend Harvard, please consider the unlikeliness of that and the damage that it could do.
@@kinseylise8595 May i ask what are you doing currently and what are ur plans? Im just curious because based on ur statement u seem to be smart and reflected.
Sincerly yours :)
@@rampageviii7186 Thank you for the compliment. I did an accelerated bachelors in Biological Sciences, and am working on another bachelors in English and some classes for an accelerated Masters of Education. I plan to teach high school and like teaching both subjects, so since I was able to get accelerated tracks for all of these, I decided to pursue them all. I originally planned to enter biological sciences for plant genetic research, but found that 1) I do not enjoy the lab setting and 2) I would like to raise my children myself, so I should choose a field that can be exited for many years and then re entered. Teaching was always something that I enjoyed, so I'm pursuing it now. Best of luck to you in your path!
@@kinseylise8595 Hey is there any kind of website or forum that could tell me more about Ivy Mill? Also, being groomed since a young age to enter Harvard, can you tell me more some of the hardest struggle you need to cope with throughout your childhood?
@@offensivecreampie3015 This is a long one. As I recently discovered this term does not seem to be universal, so while there may be website about high achieving school districts, I am not sure how to find them. One option to look for this kind of information is to use school search websites like College Vine (I believe they have elementary, middle, and high schools listed as well), but I am unsure of exactly how you could interpret the data that they provide to determine if a school is an "Ivy mill" or high achieving for other reasons. If you want more information about what this type of school district is like, feel free to ask. I'm not sure what would help you in your search (hopefully to avoid these districts!) but I'm happy to inform.
For many of my classmates the hardest part was that they were under immense pressure from their parents and as such faced constant criticism; the classes were difficult enough that even the best of the best were never 100% perfect, and anything less than perfection was strongly criticized by their parents. Their worst days were compared relentlessly to their peer's best days, and they were expected to follow their families' preferred career paths.
Personally I was blessed with a family that did not do this to me; I was expected to work hard and succeed, but they supported me and never expected perfection. My greatest struggles were socialization and self actualization. I had no experience with close relationships because I had never had a close friend, and only maybe two distant friends. I want to build close relationships, but I still struggle deeply with becoming closer to others. My professional persona is excellent but I can't make friends. As far as self actualization, there were a lot of factors there. I knew that after high school grades would not matter much, but it was still a shock to my system, much more than I expected. I no longer had an intuitive sense of where I stood among others. That was good in the sense that I no longer felt like a second class citizen (in high school there were people with whom I felt could not initiate conversation because they were in more AP classes than me and thus were "out of reach") but it made me lose my sense of self. If my identity was not explained and defined by being a high achieving in a difficult school, who was I? When I started undergrad I thought "nobody cares what school I came from now, nobody cares about what I worked so hard for, and there's no reason that they should. Without the context of my school, what am I? How do I even explain to people what made me who I am?" which was uncomfortable and upsetting. Learning to change what you tie your self worth to is a very painful experience, though I am grateful for it.
As an aside, I don't consider this to be entirely related to my schooling because I do not know what caused it, but I was very suicidal for a long time. I dislike how quick we are these days to diagnose people with mental problems and frankly I'm not sure that I had a disorder of any kind, I think it was a stress reaction. Many people in my high school were suicidal and self harmed, and stopped a year or two after graduating. Towards the end of my time in high school I began to have spells of apathy that were very difficult to deal with, and they slowly became less frequent and less intense as time after high school passed.
I hope Alex sees this: YOUR TED talk changed my life. my Asian parents were ok with their average kid, but I was not. I would watch people's reaction videos of them getting into the big schools and cry in my bed, feeling like a disappointment. But when Alex said "if your goal is to get into grad school, it might be better to go to a college and do well, than a dream school and struggle", that sent chills down my spine. I want to be a vet, which meant this advice is applicable. I changed the way I looked at my application, took off the "reach schools" like UCLA which I definitely was not getting into (being realistic here), and made my "dream school" UMass Boston (UMB), a school not far from Harvard, maybe not as cool, but it's on a peninsula across the street from the ocean with great food and dorms. It was a "safe school" that I knew I would be happy and do well in. So now I'm writing this from my UMB dorm room, halfway through the first semester of college, and it's the best decision I've ever made. so thank you, Alex, you saved me.
Hi Jane, Alex here! Thank you so much for your comment. Glad to hear you’re doing well at UMB. Seems like you’re on your way to becoming a successful vet! 🙌
I hope you ace everything from now on. Good luck, you got this.
This is super inspiring. Hope you enjoy college!!!!!
And i am already in my countrys top school and struggling so bad
@@ascore142 you got this. Just work through it. You’re bound to get used to it.
This is the video that convinced me to accept enrollment at Bard College. I had real doubts, since it wasn't the Ivy League education I'd worked really hard for. But I realized that going to a school that prioritized a holistic education and a real emphasis on deep thought would be a better choice for my whole person, not just my GPA. So grateful this person shared his story ❤️
Did u get accepted at any ivy leagues
You are rationalising failure. These schools are designed to bring out the elite of the elite.
Deal with the fact
@@iimaazii963 I don’t think so she’s just coping, as if Harvard doesn’t prioritise holistic education or deep thought lmao.
Every student who is working hard has to watch this for them to know their not alone. I got accepted for a PhD four times in one of the best schools in the world and couldnt afford it. I tried everything i could but found no way to pay for my studies. I would think of this dream almost EVEERYDAY for six years until i finally won a scholorship a month ago. Work hard, set your goals and NEVER give up
I'm not sure I would agree. There are times when people need to take a look at themselves in the mirror and perhaps change their goals. Not everything is achievable. As a classroom teacher for 31 years I found that some people definitely had unrealistic expectations. I've lost count of how many C students thought they would pull it all together in their final year of high school and then go to med school.
It is often tough for some kids to have a good handle on what they are willing and able to do to be successful.
This is something that is difficult to figure out.
@@SamIAm-kz4hg I totally agree. I am also a teacher but with much less experience than you. However, i do believe that being at university allows students to actually understand what they trully want rather than what they dream of at a younger age/what their expected to achieve from their parents (especially for asian students). Goals should be realistic and we also have to have passion about what we study to trully thrive. I struggled in my country after moving there to finish my master degree. I struggled with arabic, with the lack of facilities provided where electricity and using lab equipments were a daily struggle and having to succeed as a women in a male environment just allowed me to realise how determined i was to learn more. There are many factors that effects a successful education such as passion, having realistic dreams and being in an environment that can provide the best facilities and support that many students take for granted.
Esra they’re 😂
@@laura2264 english is a second language for me, i may have some mistakes: )
If you pay for PHD you are doing it wrong...you are not supposed to pay for it you are actually getting paid to do a PhD
I was top of my class. Went to law school. Nearly cracked. I quit law school and applied for a two-year degree as a woodworking technician. By being innovative, I now make plenty of money, and I have a ton of free time. My point: prestige isn't everything. Smart people can often work their way up, even in "lower level" occupations. At the local CLT factory, we have a gigantic CNC machine. I first taught myself to operate it, while working the assembly line. Then, I taught myself how to program the thing. Then, I developed plans on how we could improve and speed up the entire operation. All I'm saying, is that there are great careers out there, in places where you may not have realized.
Alot of the richest people in the world didn't even graduate high-school. Just because school isn't your best environment doesn't mean your dumb.
@@TheLastMimzie A lot of them did though. Bezos went to Princeton, Gates and Zuckerberg went to Harvard, and Buffet went to Columbia business school. Steve Jobs went to community college, but he still graduated from high school.
You don't have to be great academically to make money and have a good life. And the academic path is not the only path to success.
But, one thing that's true is that a lot of the poorest people in the world didn't do very well in school. On average people with college degrees earn more money than those without.
@@sebfox2194 I know all that, I just hate the misconception that you have to be dumb if you don't get straight As. And also the misconception that having straight As means you're super intelligent. Just not true
@@TheLastMimzie I agree with your point that you're not necessarily dumb if you don't do well in school. And that you can also succeed in life despite not doing well in school.
I just think your first statement that most of the richest people in the world didn't graduate high school is not true, because most of them did.
@@sebfox2194 Yeah I was reluctant to say most, changed it to Alot
When he was talking about his parents, you can hear his voice trembling, you can just imagine how he must have felt when his parents kept calling him and he couldn’t give them the answer they expected. It hurts cause I’m pretty sure alot of us experienced / is experiencing some form of this.
Thats so true..I thought no one noticed it and I was the only one who felt that his voice was trembling when he was talking about his parents..it's so sad when realities breaks us..🙁
I resonated with him when talking about his parents, its the same how my parents treat me. They view me as the bread winner as I am the first born and there were high expectation but in reality, I was just that one average Asian who sometimes gets a high grade sometimes just a passing mark. Right now, my parents often ask me how my job hunting is and I'd say literally the same lines as Alex said.
a lot*
Hello! How is everyone? If anyone needs someone to listen, someone to talk to, or a friend. I am here to talk, listen, and be a friend. Know that you are amazing and have rights as a human. Please have appropriate action for anything that you know is wrong. Anything that seems bad or wrong in your life right now will get better. Please don't do what is wrong, fighting back and harming others will not solve the problem. Please understand that and do the good thing. It will one day come back to you. The people in the world are so much more than what we know about them, not everyone opens up about the beautiful things and acts they have witnessed, not all those amazing doings are acknowledged. Please understand that and know that. If you feel like no one cares about you, know that I care about you. Together, we can be a better community. Stay safe, healthy, happy, kind, understanding, positive and strong!
Yeah, I went to study abroad to make my parents proud and it was pretty much that, I became all depressed (almost suicidal) because my parents spent so much money for me and I wasn't able to do good enough no matter how much effort I spent, I would be taking it in while talking with my parents throught webcam and cry just after ending the call, it was very hard for me to get out of that toxic mentality, gather myself together and find a sense of value were my grades didn't define how much I was worth
Everytime I struggle in my job and don't perform as well as others despite trying my best, I will return to this video to remind myself that we are always on a bell curve and someone has to take the bottom. I graduated from a prestigious university with a good GPA hence this phase of "adulthood" and adjustment has been very trying on me. I relate to this guy so much
i was the type of student who freaked at anything lower than B+ in high school, but now that I'm in uni anything above a D is a win for me lol
You’re a cutie. 😏
If there's one things to take away, it's C's get Degrees. Good looks also help.
I never cared about my scores at all but never really struggled during school either. I went through uni (4 years of electrical engineering degree) without much issue. I was the type of student that never go in classes, study by himself and only show up at exams. I finished with a degree above average of my group but not by much, I shown up at any party I could find, closing bars with friends all years long. Easily the best 4 years of my life. Do you know which question I never got asked by a recruiter? What is your score\grade? Unless you really want to do a master or phd, on the job market scores barely matter. If you are unlucky it will a tiny bit for the first job. After that, experience gained from job is wayyyyyyyyyy more important. No one will ever request your school grades ever again. Work enough to get through and not more and take all the time left to enjoy every spare minute you have to party. Our favorite line back then was: D for Diploma.
@@polymathecian yeah man good job you hit on a girl over youtube, she'll for sure message you
@@mynames7664 😂😂😂
I’ll never forgot we had this one kid in our school. Pham. #4 ranked in the school, had scholarships to like every Ivy League school out. The principal literally came into a class of his I happened to be in to tell him all the schools he got accepted to which was like 30 of them. He went to harvard, Anyway i decided to go to a junior college down the street. 2 years later he was in one of my classes in junior college. I was shocked as hell. I was like brooo what the hell why are you here!! Ain’t you go to harvard… He just looked at me with this dreadful face like almost of pure sadness and just nodded his head and was like… it was to much man. My grandmother and parents no longer support me or talk to me… but honestly i’m happier here. It was to much. I am still in shock to this day
Too*
@@alicronaldohitman bro rlly?
That is sad to hear, but I don't blame him for leaving. He needs to be happy to some degree in order to survive. I am happy for him. There is so much pressure to be number one even in normal schools. I was talking to my teacher a few years ago (I have already graduated high school) and I said that it wasn't fair the way the grades are done. He agreed with me because it wasn't fair to put a child whose parents were not so involved in his life next to a child who had all the resources and financial help at his disposal which determined who is the better student. By default it would be the one with resources from the get-go, assuming they were both intellectually capable of the same things.
I hope he found happiness and if he still hasn’t, I hope he keeps chasing after it till he does find it
Personally I found help going to a mosque, they helped me out a lot, mentally too
*Looks at triangle*
*Chooses "ENOUGH SLEEP" twice*
That what I did
And I ended up expelled :/
Haha. When he said he couldn't even do one, I almost laughed my ass off. Dude goes to Harvard and can't even figure out how to pivot away from grades and social life for a week to at least crush sleep? He isn't any college material.
@@richszeszko8844 maybe because if he chose that option he'd fall behind too much to catch up? He already illustrated pretty well that he's a hard working and accomplished overachiever type before he went to Harvard. This guy has never seen a C grade on anything he did and now he suddenly got them almost exclusively. That's not something you'd expect from someone who had a well established game plan that works for him.
He's obviously been dumped into a situation that's hard to relate to from an outside perspective.
Lima Zulu 911, I’d like to report a woooosh
@@Nova-du5on eh...i mean it could go eitherway depending on writers intention.
If you have any experience in overworking in any field you'd know that proper resting may look like wasted time but would actually save you a lot more because you perform better. That's the way i understood it.
I was just picturing that it might not be viable anyway.
Maybe that’s the education they were missing: knowing how to deal with not being the best, „failing“, not getting what they want or think they deserve. Harvard is gifting them a very important life lesson/experience
This man gave a 13 minutes speach with no mistakes or awkward silence. I can't even talk in front of my class for 2 minutes without having an anxiety attack
That's because he was speaking his mind , his mind is clear. When your mind is uncluttered you can speak with confidence , then you won't think what others are going to think about you , you just think for your self
@Kaptain Kid INDEED! that was what i'm about to say XD
Trust me I was at the same position at you are,once you are confident about yourself you will see a drastic change in yourself.i have seen a great changes my life,trust me.i cant emphasize on how beleving in yourself could make a difference.just be clear of your thoughts. And also even if you makes some mistakes it's okay my friend, everybody will laugh at you and giggle at you but that's how people grow.ik it's embarrassing it's really embarrassing but after 2years you would laugh at these things.i have experienced same thing so I can tell you.ANYWAY, BEST OF LUCK FOR FUTURE!!
Just make sure that these giggles could help you grow.because criticism helps a person to step outside of our comfort zone🙃🌏
Cristiana Darau you’re very beautiful!
*if you're not doing good in school, that also okay. Unless if you're in asia*
Disagree. Africa too ... you know how it is .. also let's not exclude the middle-eastern
@@muniroloko3584 ik ik i just quoted what he said in the video :>
Louisse Haberle oops my bad. Must have not heard it. And I don’t see no quotation marks either 😭
@@muniroloko3584 it's okkk!! It's on bold tho that means I used ** those but it's ok i understand! ♡
Ur peng
Nothing is impossible. I struggled my whole life, was kicked out of my house at a young age, had $15 left in my bank account, had to find a minimum wage job, work for 5 hard years nonstop and go from paycheck to paycheck just to be able to purchase a data plan which enabled me to write this review and tell you that I have never been to Harvard
Angel Soto lmao
5 years to pay a phone bill bro quit smoke meth.
Striker 😂😂😂
Got us in the first half not gonna lie
Wow you certainly achieved a target now writing a review in a harvard is hard video can be on your resume
Alex, you honesty is outstanding. More high school students need to know that the first year of college is difficult no matter what school they are in. It is a big adjustment. You have to get to know your professors and see what their styles and expectations are. It is common for A students in high school to get Cs the first semester. A B at Harvard means you still worked hard. It is sad that there is so much pressure. I didn't go to Harvard. I always did my best and I didn't really care about my grades. My parents expectations from elementary school on, were do your very best. I know Asian students have a lot of pressure from day one because of the competition. If they could relax a little more, they would most likely do better grade wise. I lived in China for 3 years. Alex, you will go far in life where ever you work. Just always stay as honest as you were in this TEDx.
Thanks Lorraine!
It's okay, you can now add "Given a TEDx talk" in your resume.
i cant stop thinking that this talk was only for a resume point.
Ashutosh Singh, Where did you graduate? at Harvard? He graduated from Harvard and, believe me, he knows how to be successful and he has that potential.
HAHAHHAHAHA
@@AshutoshSingh-to9vx Same. It didn't help me at all.
@@artificialintelligence5787 believe you? no, you give no credentials to be trustworthy. You can lose the 'believe me' cliche as not even kids will fall for that. It is a myth that every harvard graduate is successful. potential? yes. not necessarily successful. There's been enough studies and articles written about this. I could say believe me, but since I'm not retarded I'll just say do your own research.
I mean, if he was "average", i'm the dumbest guy in the world.
lol and youre above average right? wtf
he's an average a-hole
He probably forgot about most of the things he studied in harvard and remaining other things he will never use it in real life. But because he is hardworking he will still be successful in the future. Harvard doesn't have intelligent people it just has hardworking people that will be successful no matter what.
@@RandomGuy-hh4dk You can't seriously think only hard work will get you into Haward.
BRYCE not a rule. Some poor guys from my country (Brazil) got into harvard. But these are some rare examples. But i wont put enough time to search better about it.
Mental health really needs to be taken more seriously
@@xhorizon1976 but we can't be the ones to die when we are the ones doing the exterminating and the fact that pussies like you could never fight back let alone hurt a fly xD
@@xhorizon1976 but yet he never inferred racial genocide but yet you use it as your topic example. Clearly showing how far you took his statement that you would go to assume that it borders the lines of racial genocide. But if that be the case then yes... We need an idiot genocide :)
Lennart O oooo shit dawg, your heartless lol
Lennart O absolutely evil
Ibnziyad Tariq if everyone who lived never died earth wld be a mosh pit.
I was not from Ivy-League university, but I can totally understand what he has gone through. I was doing very well academically in primary school, and ended up in one of the top secondary school in my country. And somehow, I still able to do well academically. Despite having social awkwardness, I was still well known in my batch as sometimes I scored excellent in certain subjects while others failed in that subject. But things changes as I enter university. Even though the university is not of Ivy-League, I was surrounded by the best of the best in their high school. And for the first time in my life, I almost failed in one of my module. As much as I aimed to score high, I knew at that time, its not possible. So instead, I reduced my expectation and ensure myself not to fail in any modules. And I did it. I graduated in chemical engineering without failing in any modules. I was still able to do and graduated with a PhD later, and now working as a Postdoctoral Researcher.
Meanwhile, some of my primary and secondary classmates who didnt do well academically, become more successful and wealthier than me. I was puzzled and analyzed what make them different from me? Turns out instead, we had the same mentality but different path and goal. And that is: determination and never give up.
Hence I came out a quote: " Getting good grades doesnt make you a billionaire." It doesnt matter whether you can study or not. What is matter is to find the right environment for yourself, and then work hard to be successful. Being a postdoctoral researcher is not easy, but somehow is the right environment for me, and thats how I can succeed in career. But if I switched role with my friend who is wealthy as he is good in sales and business, I dont think I can be successful in sales and business, while I dont think he will be successful in doing research.
This is something that I hope every parents, especially Asian parents, will finally understand.
It takes courage for this Asian guy to say he struggled at Harvard. This would have eaten away at his pride. Well Done!
It’s not about race but ok
@@gmailhmmm2850 it is asian parents have this ideology that pride is everything and as you grow up thats all you know, pride so when you fail and you tell people its like destroying everything you lived for or how you were taught growing up. its very different for asian people and how how much they want their parents approval its on a different level.It is about race everything is bout race which is bad but the cold reality.
100% bro, this asian guy saying he strugged at harvard definitely takes a lot of courage
@@gmailhmmm2850 it is absolutely about race. i don't think asian people are the only people to experience academic pressure and there are definitely some asian people who don't but overall the need for prestige and pride is completely ingrained in asian culture. it's in the way we (as asians) talk to our kids, talk to our friends, talk to ourselves, etc. it is 100% about race and the particular cultural, familial, and societal pressure of being asian is something that i don't think any non-asian will understand.
@@mirandachen8189 nah
A brave and brilliant young man shared his true feelings and experience to enlighten others. Then you see all these negative and sarcastic comments. Don't mind them. Stay strong and Carry on.
WHY IS HE BRILLIANT? HAS HE COME UP WITH ANY ORIGINAL IDEAS OR IS HE SIMPLY SOMEONE WITH A HARD WORTH ETHIC? YOU SEE THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE.
@@notyou4430-> Did you go to Harvard? He was very specific at his intended topic ( check the title of the video). If you did not attend and graduate from Harvard, you are not privy to what he is talking about. And yes, the ideas in his talk is "original" because he is relating his "own and actual" Harvard experience; not anyone else. "YOU SEE THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE."
@@sumanmushahary6343 I hope you have more take away from this video than just insulting people. :D
Fan J Hey man! I’m non-native speaker. Could you please explain to me what “carry on” means? Something like “keep up”?
TALK ABOUT YOU'VE NEVER GOT AN -A NOW YOU COME TELL US IT'S STRESSFUL FOR YOU, THAT YOU COULDN'T BE A PRESIDENT
I MEAN I ASSUME TS SO HARD FOR YOU, GFYS.
What do you call a person who went to Harvard and graduated with a C+ average?
A Harvard graduate.
About two, maybe three, seconds after you graduate no one cares anymore about what grades you got.
Or any college
Ohhh how far from the truth that is. Top companies look at your grade. I go to law school and I know someone who was invited for a dinner by a company. They were asking questions about why and how her grades were lower in her 1st and 2nd year going over it course by course.
@@GetTheGames For your first job, maybe and only "top companies".
Maybe!
Frankly, your example is much further from the truth (for the majority of people) than my comment.
GTsude gh
@@ManOfLaBookDotCom now I don't know how it's like in your country, but in Belgium in sectors where the influx of certain degrees is too big they don't just look at the degree anymore, but their grades. It's an objective way to measure someone's "worth" in their eyes. That is why it's far from the truth. Most of your maybe's don't apply. Even non top companies use this method.
Very interesting talk. This man seems well mannered and his drive for making his parents happy is really something to respect.❤️
May God bless you all
My mans was living for his parents not for him. He got a lot out of Harvard and is definitely tough because of it, but i feel like my mans was just trying to please everyone but himself
its a cultural thing. asian people always try to make their parents lives better and make them proud.
be that as it may, but billions of people will be jealous of him, life is not sure all somewhat happy. being force to study the perosn is given at least a good preparation for life
@@vishurana2362 Asians follow Confucius ideals. In the old country if you're good enough for Harvard, that's middle class maybe. Asia is uber corrupt. So when they go to places where there isn't a Merit Cap, they usually become super successful. But the world always isn't true, it's more like 20% to 30% of them follow through with it all. Which is astronomically higher than that in other cultures.
@Jesse McFarland-Ward Not really. Pick up some random American or Europeon and they'll most likely fail if dropped in Asia or even within their own domestic systems. It's a culture issue. Africa has some top talent as well but usually it's concentrated at the top as with most nations.
"mans"?
top 10 out of 1100 people.
"I'm not a genius like my classmates"
bruh what?!
believe it or not, his stats are pretty bad compared to most Harvard applicants
@@burgos582 Sauce
@@thesaddestdude3575 His SAT score would barely put him in the 25th percentile there. Harvard doesn't like to give specifics on who they admit, but people who are applying there typically have 15+ AP classes while he has 5. His awards are actually pretty good but will be vastly overshadowed by the others at Harvard
@@burgos582 Its wild, i can't imagine what is needed to get a perfect A score across the board, i remember having a teacher that just didn't like me so he gave me shitty grade, what must one do in order to always ace everything. These people would have to excell on so many levels, and get the perfect conditions at the same time, i just can't imagine that there would be enough to fill these universities.
it's like he is very good and hardworker, but it's not enough groundbreaking achievements.
Harvard University Motto:
*Havahard time studying in Harvard*
Macedthur Harvard wants u
I'm having a hard time right now >:)
Correction Havahahd time studying in Havahd. *New England accent.
*Harvard wants to know your location*
Unless your dads in the state security apparatus or corporate hierarchy than your okay.
so after watching whole video and reading comments, i can conclude that never ever compare yourself with others no matter at which stage you are. When comparison starts, depression comes in.
If only comparison could’ve just been cancelled like a Netflix subscription every time it pops up and not just amplify itself like it usually does
You know Harvard is actually hard when an Asian is giving a lecture about how hard it is
That is both racist and accurate! XD
@@nowaif9144 That's not true. Only few hundreds of asians out of 10s of millions can qualify for Harvard
@Debasis kumar But we weren't talking about other countries. This is just Harvard, and I do get your reasoning, but whites do play a significant role in out status as a country
Harvard is overrated lol. It is now imbued of privileged silver spoon fed students. I think MIT, National University of Singapore, and University of Hong Kong are better.
Believe this or not, Asians engineers in USA are more skilled than whites and so have higher salaries. Asian women earn roughly the same money as white men.
Bruh said he transferring to NYU like it was a damn community college like lol wut
😂
Lol
😂😂😂
I've been laughing at this 2 minutes straight lmfao 🤣🤣
Because it is when compared to someone like him. Overachievers in academics who have zero interest in liberal arts, wouldn't wipe their ass with a degree from NYU lmao.
This does not only apply to Harvard, but all Ivy League schools and any of the top 50 schools in the world.
Hey George, thanks for the comment! Definitely; in fact, it should apply to the top 50 in any field, even outside of the context of education.
They don't have Mandatory flunking, bottom 10% of every course.
"We have the computer do it, it's not fair but it is impartial."
Only half of the freshman class should be allowed to graduate.
@@aolvaar8792 what does this mean
@@mr_squid1980
State Schools get paid based on graduation rates>> 97% and Average 3.80+ GPAs
@@aolvaar8792 Ok why is that relevant
I’m currently in one of the top foreign language high schools in south korea. As a sophomore which is the first year of hs in korea, everyone seems way too smart compared to me and I couldn’t be more worried about my future. Apparently a lot of ppl have depression and anxiety from so so much stress and barely any sleep. Graduates say they were very sick for years afer they graduated. Some were told they wouldn’t live longer than 30. Although this is high school, I highly sympathized to this video considering hs has less stability and almost no vision for the future. The truth is that I don’t have a dream, no idea what I wanna be. But maybe it’s ok. I’ve spent about two weeks at my new hs. Maybe one day I’ll look back on today and say what a state I was in. I’ll work hard, no matter how stressful, and hopefully, I’ll survive through the tough 3 years😊.
My dad told me to have the mindset 'You don't need harvard, Harvard needs you. The only way to prove that is being excellent in everything you do'
Your dad is absolutely right!
thatonenerd
What makes harvard the top school is they only get the cream of the crop of high school students. It's not really that hard to make overachievers and geniuses to perform brilliantly. I think it is more impressive of a school to take an average student and make him a cream of the crop graduate.
@@rap3208 Amen brother, amen
That sounds like horrible and unbearable pressure
It's like God wanted me to watch this video. I'm preparing for the biggest exam in India and literally every night, I go to bed and then stress out about how the day went, "Have I studied enough?", "Have I utilised my time well?", "Do I really need to sleep right now?". I really need to reevaluate my priorities.
I hope everything goes well for you! Remember that you're loved and valued regardless of what percentage you get!
nope it aint god its just the youtube algorithm
yellow tulips India is DAMN tough in terms of academics
did you get into IIT?
and the name of exam is IIT-JEE. correct me if I am wrong.
I struggled even in high school. My most challenging subject was English because it was my second language. And I continued to struggle even at an average college.
Higher education is not for everyone. Just choose that path that makes you happy.
You don’t have to go to Harvard to be a genius.
SCARlet_DRaKox13 truth! A sign of true genius is not going to begin with!
You don’t have to go to school to be a genius
ArcticZombie fine I’m liking my own comment
Einstein refused many degrees offered by top ranking universities, he didn't have degree. He made his name a title with efforts not with these universities.
If you're genius then you don't need get a stamp of these universities to be known as genius. Believe in your strength not in improving some other points, if you fail at exams it's okay, that doesn't mean you're worthless. Always remember that you're not machine to be perfect at a certain task you can choose your tasks on your own, no matter if it's artist, singers, or technological hobbyists. You have one life one chance, but a lot of time. Try to stand among geniuses with your strengths not with your improved weakness, enhance your talent, don't supress it cuz that's gonna let you think, decide, win everything.
I went to a top university to become a “doctor” and end up being a “ nurse aid”…I saw my college class mate in the real world as a doctor as I was working as a nurse aid… I was embarrassed …but I carry on and kept my nurse aid job..I’m starting a family soon and life goes on. In my 20 plus year as a nurse aid…all doctors and nurses respect my views and me. I’ve realized like you siad…not everyone can be doctors or nurses..and WE DAMN NEED A GOOD NURSE AID🙌🏼👍🏽👍🏽
Thanks for being an amazing nurse aid for 20+ years, not only for the doctors and nurses but also for your patients! ❤️
whats the relationship between what school you study and what job you work for? .......i always think its different thing
@@tmic3273 seriously? People go to college to get a certain degree so that they get that certain job they studied so hard for or they were so forced to study for. It's not easy when someone couldnt get a job they thought they would get since they studied for it. That's the point.
@@otakuchan2763 damn you settled
@@Deadb4broke lmao I wish
"If you don't design your own life's plan, chances are you'll fall into somebody else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much." Jim Rohn
Universities are Ponzi Schemes.
Still better than what I'd have planned anyway
Important 👍🏻
"As a D student, I can't relate." denysost
Sterling Lowery Haha you don’t design your life. Jim Rohn’s an idiot
Appreciate the sharing of this young man. Both of our boys graduated valedictorian in their respective class of over 800 in N. Texas. One attended and graduated from Princeton and the other from Harvard. The older boy learned how to be humble at Princeton when he discovered that 24 of 28 in his class were valedictorians, and he didn't get any A in his first 6-weeks report. Getting into those schools isn't the hardest, to graduate from them is.
I forwarded this video to our 2 boys now in their late 40s. Here is the short message I attached with the video:
Watching this video helps me to understand how ignorant we parents are to know our kids and their struggles during and after their college years. I am more thankful to see my kids and their endurance during those years. May the Lord continue to guide you and provide the strength you need to go through all the ups and down of life.
Truly appreciate your sharing your story. Thanks Pastor Yau!
i love TED talks.... pretty people who say looks don’t matter, smart people who say smarts don’t matter, etc etc etc.
Looks actually matter 100%.
But smart doesnt have to matter. Take billionaire robert herjavec for example. Did his bachelors in arts, and is now the founder of a cyber security company thats related to computer science.
Skills complement knowledge. If you dont have skills, only knowledge, then you are pretty useless.
Josh Johnson what do you mean looks matter
Josh Johnson he was being ironical ...
It’s disguised self aggrandizement but it only fools stupid people.
Josh Johnson looks matter but not 100%. Would you rather have a 8/10 women who you love or some 10/10 bum girl
Jokes on you, I don't need harvard to get depression
For real, also I think many many college students have depression regardless of the college they go to. Personally was depressed in community college and that was very easy. Future uncertainty is also really anxiety inducing...
LMAO
LOL help😂
stfu
Righttt
harvard sounds like an absolute nightmare
JuliFXJ I call it Hardvard for a reason.
Some Ivy League graduates turned out to be the most deranged, degenerate people ever.
BRAVEHEART that’s so true lol
@@shelby7188 no its not true. Don't form universal opinions based on one video.
@@andrewc1199 Hahahaha
I dropped out of grad school and I am still proud of it to this day
I've just started at Oxford and can already recognise a lot of this. Everybody I've spoken to has imposter syndrome, but knowing that doesn't help very much. I'm in the library until 1 AM most nights and secretly feel like I'm not good enough to do this degree. There are bars to prevent people jumping out of the windows in my accommodation. However, I would still say going to a prestigious university is well worth it, because the flip side of no longer being the smartest person in the room is that you get to learn from your peers.
Do your best at Oxford! I hope you succeed.
Be confident Emily. You earned your place. You might feel like a smaller fish in a big sea, but you are still great. And please talk to your pastoral tutors - being in the library till 1am isn't sustainable. I went to Cambridge, was wowed by the clever people, never really felt up to their standards but luckily there was no email, no social media... Please do get support as it's there for you to feel better x
good luck 🙏🏾
Come on now Emily you've got too good of an education to be telling people those bars are to prevent people jumping.
My friend went to Oxford on the Fulbright scholarship, he and I would both tell you the only stick through it if you're enjoying yourself at some level. Otherwise that's an incredible amount of effort and opportunity to plunge into the wrong direction
@@kezzaradden I went to a small but respected school for accounting, a lot of us were in the library for literal days on end. There was a nice corner table that was a little too convenient for napping. I know of at least two people whose phones automatically assigned the library as the address of their home residence. This is where it's earned.
Honestly, "The Kissing Booth" directors need to see this. Harvard isn't a community college... Who tf would accept Elle to get into Harvard with that essay of hers, let alone call Harvard her "back up option"
That's a stupid movie, mate, don't take it seriously😂
😂😂
are you dumb bruh it’s called a joke
It was really dumb. Like Harvard is insane and this girl was just writing nonsense to the admissions woman
@@stuntmastermonkey What exactly is the joke
The hardest thing about school is to keep your emotions internal.
Hey Rob. Thanks for commenting! In fact, I’d say that it’s easier to hide than to speak up, but school is overall quite hard. No doubt!
I'd say it's easier to hide your emotions
You mean external...
Why do you have to though?
Im doing Engineering and it is all a mind game. Your doing mathematics and logic problems for 9+ hours a day. Ive watched a lot of navy seal training documentaries, and engineering school is very similar in that it is an extreme mental and physical stress test. You have to learn the ability to tell yourself "Im not going to quit, its just not going to happen." You can take two roads, push your emotions down until they explode out of you and you suffer a panic attack, or learn to flow with the stress and continually view every stressful situation as the greatest possible thing that could have happened to you. Im working hard on teaching my brain to do the latter.
Yea I was definitely disappointed that I didn’t get into Oxford because I want to have that “dream school” on my resume. After watching this video it’s definitely a blessing in disguise. I’m currently at University of Helsinki and it’s so far it’s the best experience ever. :) met tons of friends, professors care about your mental health and still push you to succeed, and I get time to focus on myself. Thanks for sharing Alex, never go by worldly standards, each individual including you all have an awesome destiny in the future than what a “dream school” can offer.
Finally somebody who's got the guts to speak out - I respect that guy more than any overachiever who acts like a perfect person straight from elite education. This guy is authentic and most importantly, he is realistic.
Realistic? He go to ivy league school with the expectation of getting top1 lmao. Going there to get a number instead of getting actual education? Wow. Also those people dont act like they are perfect, they are merely flexing what they work really hard for.
It would’ve been better if the title was “Harvard is Hardvard”
IM WHEEZING 😂😂
Oh my my genius
GET THIS MAN IN HARVARD!
bruh, you want a scholarship?
hardvard wants to know your location
Class mate: the anwser was 13,257
Other class mate: No it was 13,256
Me: * erasing *BARACK OBAMA* *
Lmao fr tho 🤣
-Harvard- Hardvard
@@Onur_ince i don get it
@@akirakirawabushi7019 it's a joke, he just mean he get a very different answer
FBI agent #2419 FBI agent #2419:
Lmao
This resonates alot with life during medical school no matter how hard you try you will still get Bs & Cs sometimes D. Stress is immersurable continuous even post graduation and for the rest of your life you are expected to be on 120% performance all the time
Mostly in Asia parents are competitive so they put pressure to their children at young age so when it comes to school students are very competitive and don't get that much of social life. It's always school and home.
Im not asian but my parent's are the same way,now everyone thinks im always perfect in grades,#1.Only my friends know who i really am
I know it sucks, but somebody has to do it. Im black and my parents had no idea how to raise me to do that. I asked about Harvard when I was in middle school and my mom said that I needed to get ready for harvard when I was in 2nd grade and to give up. I would not be the least bit sorry I was Asian and got beat by my parents when young. Look and how it worked out. You guys even killed Affirmative Action which was I admit very illusive mechanism. What person would say that all this is not worth it after graduating Harvard and being a CEO or something?
I wish my parents were "competitive".
Same with hispanic parents
@Dragoslav Vega, Brazilian-American Nationalists Well i can Kinda agree ;d i am from Georgia ;d Idk Is it Considered as an Asian Country Or not But A lot of Parents Rly do want Their Children to be the best and Unique to brag about their Achievements With Neighbours :ddd
As a D student, I can’t relate
LOL
denysost c student here boi
As a F student, why am i even here
@@Keezus. what
XD yeah, fellow D, ranging from C to F, I feel like I am looking into a diferent world.
Back when i was 14 or something, my vice school principal left me with very wise words.
"It is better to be the king of the shit pond, than to be shit of the king pond"
This is the one phrase that i followed all my life. Am a much happier person living life in my own stride, pops and moms don't get to ride a Mercedes, but we don't really need it anyways.
This is gonna stick with me, but now that I read a reply here maybe it is just the mindset.
Wow !that's some wise words.My father used to tease me whenever I achieve something that ,I'm just the king of shit pond😂that used to burden me when I was young but well now I know the other perspective u can go around it 🔥
I'll keep this in mind.
Thanks for this!
Wow that's deep
Yes he is so right I went to Fordham University For my BA, New York College of Podiatric Medicine for my DPM and Adelphi University for my MBA before I tried out of necessity of running a multiple office practice as the CEO to do certificate programs at The executive education aspects of Wharton, Cornell, Columbia and Harvard. Now I applied and was accepted to Cornell for my MHA so that I can educate myself and implement that knowledge to better understand public health and healthcare so that my business can evolve into a compassionate and successful healthcare system.
*Me showing this to my parents*
My parents: But at least he got into Harvard
Lol
@@360wheelz5 Thats sad for you :(
Man
Exactly... 😂😂😂🥺
Oh:(
I could hear him start to choke up a little when he was talking about how he wanted to make his parents proud. Same bro... same
cringe u are dumb u have barcelona as your profile pic
@@iamapokerface8992 got nothing better to do then call people cringe man? Get a life
@@blazing910 How to get a life?
@@iamapokerface8992
Stop.
Nobody cares if its "cringe" even if based on your opinion as its all completely irrelevant and unnecessary
You're clearly the type to make a trite meme word on any possible situation such as "simp, cringe, stfu, boomer" please go back to pewdiepie. I mean nothing against him, he's a cool guy, but you're a representation towards his younger audience
Asian people, listen up, stop trying to make your Asian parents proud, it can never be achieved. Instead, you make yourself proud by achieving the goals that you set for yourself. You will never find happiness if your number one objective in life is to please other people.
People he’s talking to the most intelligent of the country, informing them that sometimes the better schools aren’t always better for the individuals themselves.
Sounds like a ridiculous first world problem that is a very small problem.
I entered a school as one of the 500 freshmen. Every semester large chunks of my batchmates fail to reach the required GPA and they get booted out. Only 10 of us reached senior year after four years. The amount of anxiety I experienced every day in worrying that my head could be next on the chopping block had a profound effect on me decades later. I suffer PTSD wherein until this day, I have a recurring dream of the traumatic experience I went through for four years.
I hope you will you recover, by curiosity what was the school?
There RUclips recommended, after 2 weeks of seeing it every day, I finally clicked on it. Are you happy?
Same 😂😂
ok but same thing here
Stressful wasn't it?! 🤣
Some people from ''dream schools'' have made the software behind it, with the explicit intention to manipulate and control. Experts at behaviour and maths guide us for profit and marketing.
Recommended isnt a real thing, you cant talk to it
When I was younger, my teachers called me a genius and a really nice student. As a result, my mom had high expectations for me to go to Harvard or Stanford. She shamed me when I told her I didn't want to do it because I was struggling with my own personal problems.
Don’t let others tell ya where you need to go. We all have our problems and people don’t need to shame others just to make themselves feel better
Well at least you followed your will
@@TheoryofUltran Thank you so much for your kind words. You are right.
You did the good thing by doing your will.
@@Starlight-sc4bp not trying to be rude, but the teachers that called you a genius didn't do you a favor. Anyone that calls kids with good grades "geniuses" or "highly intelligent" is setting them up to fail as they begin to be deluded by grades and forget than grades are a result of work ethic, not intelligence. Intelligence comes from health.
You do not have to attend Harvard to be successful. Also you do not have to impress your parents or friends. It is just OK to do what YOU like.
Thank you for this. I'm going through an identity crisis and struggling to find my place in the world. I am only 20 but very anxious and terrified of what my future holds. I'm also afraid of applying to a part time job for the summer. I am so lost, I just wish I had a friend to talk to.
@@dawn-blade I have an exactly same problem. Today I even thought about committing suicide, but after watching this video and reading inspiring comments, I got better. BTW I'm 20 too. If you wish, we can be friends.
@@anujin.a957 Don't die man, suicide is never the answer
It's the curse of the Asian child --- they are brainwashed from age 2 that their sole purpose in life is to appease their parents' wishes for them --- they are too WEAK to break away from these asshole parents and forge their own life
Hell, I dropped out of high school and became a self taught artist, and I actually enjoy my days very much now. It's hard to be poor, but I couldn't imagine doing anything I like more with my life.
I feel bad for kids who think they're the smartest or the best athlete, because the reality is that once you're in college or the real world, you're just another person.
I am currently working for a Doctor who went to Harvard and he said that students there are robots. They are numb emotionally. Now I finally understood what it meant lol
YES YES YES YESS!!! Glad someone gets this. Outsiders don't understand how depressing and soul-killing it is to be at these places.
Yup
I didn’t know that until now and I bet that’s how they all are
Honestly there is one youtuber named John Fish who despite having an extremely strict schedule, he still seems to enjoy his time. But then again, he might be a genius even for Harvard's standards since he aces at his exams.
Wow!
After watching #GZA's #LiquidScience on Netflix... they seem to be Obsessed w/turning the world in to a #Robot populace. :-( ...this school and others...may have gotten the mechanical-memo to train them [the students] as such. Scary!
We will all be dead in a hundred years. All the fame, fortune and glory will count for nothing. Enjoy life, because it's the only one you'll have. (Take this advice from an old guy with no regrets.)
That's not true at all. What you do in Life can inspire other People, sons, friends, relatives ecc... if you are famous you can inspire people from all over the world.
@@doublezzmilesi3448 Yea but YOU won't know about it, cause you're dead.
@@Aedony i agree, we should ofc care for others but not more than to spend the most valuable thing we have, life
@@doublezzmilesi3448 You both are correct. David Howard is correct that later in life you discover that all that stuff you worried about, ends up wasn't worth your worry. You are correct because it's the Asian way to do things to help your kids and future generations live a better life even after we are gone. People will find out what college you went to won't matter as much as whether you had the guts to invest in real estate in the right locations when you had the chance and other such factors.
@@svmathtutor You become older, but what you do remains , your actions, your decisions, your words. You can even know that you inspired someone in his Life journey . But obviously all these things must be done because you want It, because you want to be successful and because you got It. Build, create something that's the Life meaning.
Unless you WANT to be stressed or you're some crazy genius like Einstein, it's better to go to a school that's right for you. I've noticed that when I'm in regular classes I actually prepare more and try my best to be number one because it's supposedly easier. When I take harder classes (AP), I don't try as hard because I know that it will be almost impossible to be number one. It's just like if someone asked you to swim next to Michael Phelps. Maybe you are a very good swimmer, but you will be less motivated or say "it's ridiculous" to race him because he's one of the fastest swimmers in the world. If you were put against some friendly, real competition you would try harder because you could actually win. The main idea is that It's good to be challenged so that you can try your best and learn from others, but you don't want to be trying so hard to the point that you think you're stupid and lose confidence in your abilities. There will always be someone better than you, so it doesn't make sense to compete with those out of your reach. It's like a minimum wage worker trying to compete with Bill Gates. That doesn't mean anything is IMPOSSIBLE, but you have to be willing to accept the stress and crap that goes along with it, because you asked for it. Why is everyone trying to become a billionaire? A million dollars is more than enough for someone. I would rather be the best in some small town then get one of the highest paying jobs there, then compete with elite, wealthy geniuses and end up hating myself for failing. Then when I get that million, I will expand.
Edit: some people think that I have a weak mentality but they obviously didn't get what I'm saying. If you are truly talented, you will know it. All I'm trying to say is that there has been a huge misunderstanding in the 21st century where people believe that where you go to college determines your success. The person in this video would've thrived so much more if he went to a college within his league, with healthy competition, but also an environment where he could not lose his confidence. What I'm trying to say here is that you will NEVER be number one, someone better will always eventually come along. The problem today is that everyone thinks they can be number one if they "try their best". This is called fantasy land. At A certain point it's not about practice, it's about luck and god given talent. Michael Phelps is number one because he has abnormally long arms and a long torso. That's something he can't control but was born with so he got LUCKY. Even if you practiced everyday, you couldn't beat his biological advantage. So if you want to spend your whole life chasing the number one spot, go ahead. But as we can clearly see it never brings happiness, it only makes you a loser. We win when we start knowing our limits and maximizing our skills/resources. There will always be the fool that doesn't know when to stop.
@Rust Jones Thanks for this. Just realized tons of wrong things going through my life now, should've known better.
Actually the opposite works for me a lot of times. If I compete against someone equal to me, sometimes I feel there's a lot to lose, and panic strikes. If I compete against Phelps, I am anyways the underdog. So I feel free and do the best I can. So for somebody who has the fear of losing, the opposite might work better..
@@bharadwajsangaraju1326 whatever works for you, but if you are always the winner despite how hard you work you will always find someone who will someday defeat you and then you could possibly break down. It's good to know what loosing feels like so it doesn't hit you for the first time when you're like 30. Sometimes you don't even know your true self until you lose. I learned a lot of things about myself after I wasn't perfect in school anymore. It has humbled me and taught me that sometimes I need help from others or that I can't always be the best. I'm not scared of something as silly as getting a B anymore. Also if you're constantly afraid of losing, that means you won't take risks in life. Sometimes to be successful you have to take risks.
Rust Jones I do have to disagree a bit. Regular classes don't compare to Honors, at least where I go. The curriculum is usually better and suits people who want to learn. You're also surrounded by classmates who actually care and pay attention. The implication here is what I experienced in regular classes. Then again, my classes weren't really competitive and the AP courses I'm in are not competitive at all really
really nice I like it ...thank you for having the courage to share with us this btf advice ❤.
I feel bad for individuals like Alex Chang who work so hard to get to a place they want to be but are not rewarded. Do people think these top colleges have a secret formula, new curriculum, or magic book that would put them ahead of everyone else? The answer is no! Everyone uses the same books and receives the same information. The problem in Alex's case he had to pay 40k more than everyone else. As for myself, looking at business schools like Wharton, where some course's content for MBA classes consisted of only articles and no books. These schools aren't providing the same dedication as the students working so hard to be there.
"Harvard is hard"
*Every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes*
Liviu Dan I DONT BELIEVE YOU.
Hardvard
Fake news.
@@thatonesomali3217 How is it controversial?
@@KelvinWKiger Fake and gay
Harvard is Hard...and The Sky is Blue.
also cause dicc long
Harvard is hard,
The sky is blue,
I made this poem
Just for you!
Vladimir Goh dafuq
In other news water is wet
Harford is hard... and the sky is blue, we're all going to get bombed by Kim Jong un
The whole "Getting called everyday by your parents and lying about you doing good even though you are barely making your way through classes everyday while keeping your sanity intact, just so they don't think we are disappointments even though you know they will accept you for who you are" is a very real, and very relatable feeling. Thank you for this, I feel relieved to know I am not alone....
Shut up and learn to think about yourself and your own happiness first.
Yes very. I'm currently struggling with med school and keep telling this lie. Now I'm in so deep, and so back that I'm going to have to go an extra year, and I don't know how to deal with that fallout
Very very true.
This is the definition of ‘real talk’ cuz damn this man kept it real.
I vertually cried when hearing this talk. Being an Asian too, I totally understand the ideal of making your parents proud of. My parents have never said a word about that but somehow I can feel it in there eyes, through the 18-year-journey working so hard to pay my tuition fee. It is something so big that press on my shoulder but I can't say to anybody.
I feel the same. They don't say it aloud but I can feel their disappointment
Same
They did not work hard to guarantee your success, they worked hard to give you the opportunity for success. Win or Fail, they will be happy because they know that they did their best.
I’m not Asian, I’m Mexican American, however, I feel the same way. I know my parents will get mad if I ever get an A- or a B. I feel like if I do something wrong, I have failed them. It’s stressful.
You don't have too be asian to want to make your parents proud :/
Hard-ward
ha funny
aight off I go to Squidward Community College
@@markkempis3777 lmaoooo
You just proved you were a Harvard-tier genius with this comment
@@markkempis3777 Underrated comment my guy
“We still don’t know what happened, cause we’re all good at hiding our feelings”
hit right in the feel
That feel
Damn, this really hitting hard on me rn. I barely passed my 3rd year subjects in undergraduate pre-med course and I’ve been doubting myself for quite some time if I can handle going to med school. It’s really hard not to disappoint your parents and peers around you as an Asian myself. I hope the best for other struggling students out there!
I almost cried. Thank you for this. In high school I was at the top of my class, the smart kid with good grades that gets all the questions right. Now I'm a junior in college and I'm struggling. Like really struggling. When I meet someone from high school and they ask me how is college I feel like crying. They still expect me to be that great smart kid. But I'm barely holding up. I'm at my dream school, yes, but everyones expectations of me are so high that I sometimes want to quit.
Linda N what school are you in ?
Me too
@@lea-ct4uo I'm studying medicine in Charles University in Prague.
Linda N oof studying medicine is really hard. Best of luck to you!
There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Ask your professors or academic supervisor, ask your parents for money to hire a tutor, ask classmates who are doing well if you could form a study group with them etc. You don't have to do it all alone.
it was interesting to me that alex said he was not "harvard" material. clearly he was, and yet he did not feel he was. this feeling of inadequacy among overachievers who get into elite schools in actually really common. i felt the exact same way when i was an undergraduate at princeton many years ago, and later, a graduate student at oxford. somehow, i felt i was a fake, my admission was a total fluke, and everyone else belonged. of course i didn't talk about it to anyone! it was only much later that i found out that i was not alone in having these feelings of inadequacy. for years i had nightmares of not finishing my senior thesis at princeton--we are talking decades later! in fact i had finished it in plenty of time, and got an a on it. having lunch one day with a fellow princeton grad, she laughingly told me this "thesis dream/nightmare" was something a lot of princeton alumni shared, even some nobel prizewinners. it is amazing to me that being an overachiever at school often coexists with feelings of not being "good enough", and i find it quite sad.
That is sad but at the same time those feeling probably pushed you to do that extra work and take that extra step which helped shape you into the person you are today
Good story. Good thing I wasn’t a overachiever!
you see, it is always better to feel over prepared than under prepared at the end of the day. I'm still ganna like at my resume that is similar to Alex and still say it's trash, and don't even remind me on the fact that I need a personal essay.
This sounds like Imposter Syndrome - look it up, it's interesting and really relates to your situation! I feel it too :)
@@sof9546 Thx, that does help me feel a bit less anxiety each day. ;)
I'm not Harvard material and I know that, my classmates around me always say that I am smart but in reality I'm probably just the average kid who pays attention a bit more and understands the lessons. I am quite lazy so whenever the lessons are boring or the teachers are horrible I usually "give up" and complain in my head but of course no one realizes this, maybe someone close friends noticed that I am a lot different than I seem. It wasn't always like this I used to be quite shy and made friends with the "smarter" people but in just a couple of years I had started acting in a way where I seemed more confident to others when actually I just kept saying I was depressed, which was my way of saying I couldn't be bothered with what to do anymore. My parents are quite harsh went it comes to how they treat me which makes me frustrated and less enthusiastic about everything, it's gotten to the point where I want to avoid talking to my dad and the way they treated my siblings were different (in a good way) and usually spoilt the middle child. They never let us go out by ourselves even if it was to a friends place, to a birthday party or any other group event involving people of my age which definitely had an effect on my social interactions but I knew they were just doing it because they were worried about us. I was the eldest child, I had started worrying about my future such as: Will I be able to get a job? Will I make enough money? Will I still have friends? Will I be able to survive on my own?. I am Asian
I am sorry if it seems like I was here only to complain, I just wanted to kind of say what it is like being in that kind of environment and how people might actually feel even if you are being nice to them or trying to help them.
Thank you if you took the time to read this!
I thought i was the only one
Smae
I feel like we represent that middle route. Smarter than the average joe, but we lacked the resources to succeed like these people. And by resources, its not just money, but time, good parents, productive interests, and pure statistical anomalies in our development that made us feel pressured to succeed in the upper rings but who repeatedly failed.
I also feel, however, that the reason we failed to meet expectations is that we held onto ourselves. A Harvard student is only ever a harvard student. A statistic, an example, some ideal that realistically is not available to everyone, and yet we feel like we should belong with them. A harvard student already knows what they are going to do in life. They conformed and they won. There's no shame here in holding true to ourselves, in acknowledging an uncertainty or an unknown. It is better to be moral in the mind than successful in your wallet.
Its like im reading my own life
Everyone is Harvard material if they put their time and hard work into it. Few are born geniuses most have earned their way to the top. I was never a genius but through my love for my work and dedication to doing well I got into Johns Hopkins for my Ph.D. and it was a dream come true but hard work is what made it a reality.
I got into Harvard and yeah I confirm it’s true but not impossible… it’s a good place to study and you’ll learn many new things and totally create a new social identity and if course a high sense of self esteem is guaranteed! Good luck to all those who are aiming it