Story one - do not let that man have that baby alone EVER. Massive red flags. Why is he so desperate to be alone with that baby? That would worry me. Very strange behaviour.
OR.... It could be that any time he holds the baby, the mom is all over him. "No! Not that way! Hold him this way! Ack! There's a spot of dirt on you! Go wash fifty times if you want to hold him! No! Not like that!" That would drive anyone nuts. And it sounds like she's that kind of mom. No wonder he just wants to be left alone with the grandkid. It probably hurts him that his own daughter thinks he can't handle his own grandchild. It probably hurts that she's totally forgetting that he raised her! Yes, it's good to watch out for creeps... .. but there is nothing in this story that suggests he's a creep. She doesn't mention that as a fear - she just basically wants total control over others with her kid. Creeps need to be "disappeared"..... But when nothing suggests creepy behavior, to jump to that conclusion is extreme. Falsely accusing someone of being a creep is as bad as being the creep.
@@kelf114 this is clearly a creep case. He didn't even want grandma or anyone else in the room while he held the baby. Grown adult men should not be throwing tantrums over not getting their way. Normal men do not want to be alone with other people's babies to the point of obsession. At the very least a normal guy wouldn't mind a woman offering to change diapers or do the work. He just wanted alone with a little girl.
Story Seven, my parents divorced when I was four years old, and my father was actually the one who refused to let his girlfriends meet me until he was sure the relationship was stable, specifically because he didn't want me to witness a million new girlfriends and have to deal with the emotional fallout of getting attached to someone then never seeing them again, and also to make sure he knew what kind of women they were before letting them near his daughter. As a result, I actually didn't realize he was dating other women until I was in my late teens, and the first one I *met* was when I was 22 and he figured if I wanted to keep up a friendship with that lady I could do it on my own. Most children get attached to new people quickly, so it's extremely selfish to give them a 'friend' and then take them away a few months later because your relationship didn't work out. OP, your children's stability and health are your priority, and you are absolutely in the right for your rules.
as a bunny owner myself, i teared up a little at the thought of some random jerk throwing someone’s precious rabbit into a river. i’m so glad that the bunny was saved and that the man was awarded supplies for the bunny! wholesomeness overload!!
The guy who did it had almost 100 convictions already and was in his early or mid 20s. An unpleasant person all around. Some people are just born a$$hol€$.
Hold up the dad in the first story got mad the baby was sleeping, as in one of the only 3 things babies actually do. They're babies, they eat sleep and poop, that's about it. Sometimes they babble or whatever but if someone told me their baby was sleeping I'd say "ah yes, one of their 3 things, carry on baby."
It's sad that OP's mother is going to lose everything. It's so hard to let go of a family member that is flailing when they won't or can't acknowledge that they are drowning. But if it reaches the point where they are about to take you down with them, what else are you supposed to do?
Yesterday we adopted a cat almost 2 years old. She's a giant furball of black, white and brown colors. I've never had a longhaired cat before but I'm ready. She's only 2,7 kilos. We named her Kiwi aka mini floof aka Fluffy the vampire slayer.
It honestly blows my mind someone would strike a baby for spilling juice on their apparently new dress. While its good she doesn't remember, her sibling does and I don't blame OP for putting her children first. As she said, while its not her business what her Dad does in his romantic life, it sure as heck is if he's going to bring these people around her children.
Story 1 talks about such a great point that there has been big changes with caregiving to children that some older generations have had issues with altering. Like not kissing newborns or the cry out method doesn’t work in the positive way they think it did.
True. That it used to be that the baby has to fit in with you, & not you fitting yourself to the babies needs. And you can't give new babies normal water etc, ( can literally kill them or frick kidneys etc) or can't give old-wives "remedies" 😁🌏☮️
@@claudiaarjangi4914 who.... who told you to give newborn babies water? People have known not to do that since before we knew how to make fire. Why would they NEED water? You know milk is mostly water right? Thats why they drink so much and so frequently. Cause its their food and their water. Please dont give newborns water.
@@dillongage Ive had two kids and I DO know not to have water & never have . My point is that a lot of older women & men don't know that , cos there was always old-wives advice to give "cholic medicine" that had alcohol & water, honey & water etc. 🤦♀️🌏☮️ I just read my comment to see if I'd worded it wrong, but it was obvious that's what I said. Are you trying to take comments the wrong way on purpose ?
Story 5: When I was a Christmas temp in a big store I heard of this elderly lady who was scammed into paying for Keanu Reeves hospital bill multiple times. It's obvious that these kind of people pray on the elderly cause their mental state is weakening since my two immediate thoughts were "Keanu Reeves is rich enough to pay any hospital bill five times over and why would he go for some old woman from England" but I digress, not my grandmother, not my issue.
The first one sounds like OP’s dad is a creep. He wants to be alone with a baby that he can’t even properly care for. Doesn’t want anyone in the same room as him with the baby and gets upset that the baby isn’t awake. 🤨
I know the feeling of that guy who rescued his rabbit. I once went into a busy road as a kid to rescue my dog. My guardian angel must have been working double time to keep me safe! 😂
Normally there's a new Vincey video up either just as I wake up or before I leave for work and I was starting to get worried. 30 minutes before I leave for work Vincey posts and I feel relief. Amazing how much you can learn to care about the safety and well-being of a stranger because they're posts on the internet have become a part of your life.
Omg perfect timing, i wanted to make lunch and was scrolling youtube and my phone for something to listen to while cooking at no avail. So i refreshed my subs hoping vincy had uploaded and low and behold entitled parents 1 minute ago! Yessss 👏👏 thank you sir
Still amazes me that the bank or companies can *always* turn off your utilities, no questions asked. (With very few exceptions.) But, if you have a squatter break in. Or, are building a house that doesn't *have* utilities: You are *forced* by law to turn them on... regardless if they exist or not.
Story 1: "... she offered to wash his hands ..."??!! Yeah, never let that child alone with him, no matter the age. I subscribed a few weeks ago, because I like to be shocked by how unhinged people can be, and I like it a lot how you end your videos with wholesome things. That's like balancing out the good and the bad.
Obligatory algorithm support. My exercise instructor and his wife recently got a pit bull, American pull(probably) and corgi mix and she’s adorable 🥰 ❤😊. Her name is Vera(I think, I forgot the exact name and idk how to spell it cause I’m a little butt 😅)
I am a smoker, unfortunately. However, I do not smoke in my house, nor in any of my vehicles, even when i go to a friend's house that does smoke in their house, i still go outside no matter if it happens to be -40. I just can't bring myself to smoke indoors.
Ahhh I just love crafting to your videos. They're perfect. Google Owl scarf, the owl face and 3D feathers is what I'm doing. It's in varying shades of teal from really dark to really light. If you can give me a good place to send messages, I'll send you a picture when it's done.
"Taking care of a baby has changed so much over the last thirty years...." No, it hasn't. There's just more gadgets now. All the care is still the same. Diapers get changed, food gets mushed, bottles are boiled, and love is still given. All brand new moms are pretty overprotective. That usually wears off by child number two. 😄 I had a friend who boiled all her first baby's new little toys (and melted a few!) cos she freaked about everything being sterile. I tried to explain that eating a fuzzy, or sitting in a little dirt actually helps build their immunities. Her poor kid was usually sick because any little germ that came his way would get to him. My son wasn't raised in total sterility and hardly caught colds, even when he started school. When she had her daughter, she was a lot more relaxed and didn't go sterile crazy. The daughter started off healthier than her brother (who turned out fine, by the way). Being a brand new mom is harder on mom than the baby. It's the first time and you tend to worry.... I get that. But don't overlook the point that your parents successfully raised you, so they're not going to suddenly forget how to take care of a grandchild. And it's ok for others to do some things differently. Keep in mind that millions of women all over the world have babies every day, and have been doing so for hundreds of thousands of years. Yes, it is something very special.... But also quite common. And many moms don't get the advantages of first world countries. It doesn't matter if Grandpa's hands are a little dirty. Dirt washes off. Love can't be replaced. And Grandpa's can't be replaced. Pro tip: Hold them all you can when they're little, because that doesn't last long. 😊♥️
I think it's less that OP's dad *can't* take care of the baby and more that he's actively *refusing* to. He won't show that he knows how to use the tools she currently has on hand for her baby...if she's using tools that are different from the ones he used when she was growing up, what's to say he actually does know how they work? Putting on a diaper too tight or too loose isn't going to kill the kid, but it *can* make them uncomfortable and why would you force a baby to be uncomfortable to appease the ego of an adult man? I think it's perfectly reasonable to want to know that the man both can and *will* change the baby before allowing him to look after the baby for an amount of time in which a baby might wind up needing changed. I mean, it says the man got angry that the baby was sleeping when he came over, to me that shows a lack of either understanding how babies work (sleeping often and whenever they feel like it) or that he cares more about his desire to hold the baby than the baby's need to sleep. That's not a great sign for what sort of care she'd receive, and if OP's description of a 'fit' is the same as mine, it makes me worry what the dad's reaction to the baby having a screaming fit might be. What's more worrying that the level of care he might be able to provide, however, is his odd insistence on wanting to be *alone* with the baby. I've never heard of someone coming over to the house of new parents, and asking them to leave the room so they can hold the baby. Why does the mother need to leave the room before he's willing to hold the baby? What about her being in the room makes him not *want* to hold the baby? Its not like she needs to leave the room anyway and he's offering to hold her, everyone is sitting in the room and he's telling the mother she *has* to leave so he can hold the baby. That's just very strange to me. Does he expect her to yell at him for the way he holds the baby? Does he *intend* to hold the baby in a way that would bother the baby's mother? Why would a grown man deliberately want to stress out his own daughter by holding her baby in a way that bothers her? And if how the baby is held isn't a big deal, why is it such a big deal to *him* that he gets to hold it a particular way? Why does the new mother with all her complicated hormones who just got done nine months of carrying this thing inside her and dealing with all the physical and emotional stress of doing so the one who has to bend to the will of someone who's already demonstrated that he cares more about his own ego than the baby's comfort? Grampas can't be replaced, you're right, but not every grampa is good with babies. In his day, it tended to be women who did all the childcare, so it's honestly not unreasonable to think that he might never have changed his daughter's diapers or bathed her, and doesn't actually know how to care for her. I've helped take care of my own grandparents as they aged and died, and I've worked in retirement homes, and I can tell you that there's a large percentage of people who hit a certain age and get offended whenever someone suggests they can't do something even when they know they can't, have failed it three times in the last minute, and will obstinately proceed to do serious damage to the thing they're trying to do out of a stubborn sense of pride. When that damage is 'locking your own bank account by using the wrong pin', its merely annoying. When that damage is 'letting a baby sit in a wet diaper because you didn't feel like changing it'...well, to my mind, the innocent baby's comfort outweighs the grampas ego. Everyone else in the family has been able to demonstrate a level of care that satisfies the mother, so it seems like she's not being completely unreasonable in her standards. I've heard too many stories of grandparents hurting their grandkids accidentally through stubborn pride to give this an easy pass of just 'generational differences'.
I have a story some people might find infuriating. I got in trouble at work for closing my finger in a car door. Now let me explain. Because you can get severely injured by closing a finger or hand in a car door, we have special rules to follow that are to prevent this from happening. I wasnt following the rules and it resulted in my injury. I got in trouble for not following rules, not for getting hurt.
S5 - it’s obvious the mother has mental disorders, which may be age or nutrition related. She doesn’t need a cell phone, a landline will do. This at least will prevent texting. No credit cards unless they are pre-paid cards, no car, all mail diverted to OP. Sometimes it is necessary for a family member to take completely over. The mother may be an adult but one with diminished capacity. She needs to be in a facility for her own safety.
The methods certainly have changed. It used to be popular to put an infant to sleep on its back, and up till the 60's, it was thought that actually HOLDING your baby would "spoil" it- and of course now we know touch is *critical*. In the 1930s, there were car seats for infants, not for safety, but for a better view. Formula used to be endlessly risky too
@@NerdAlert42 you mean it used to be popular to put babies to sleep on their tummies. My kids were all born in the 80s and that's how I put all 3 to sleep. Idk if formula was risky. All 3 had formula; my youngest was allergic to conventional formula and had to have a special expensive kind.
@@NerdAlert42back then my family would tell each other to feed babies water at an early age which is DANGEROUS! I’m glad times have changed and people are actually trying to care for babies properly
@@Tattedlady60 whoops! It was late when i typed that 😅 And by dangerous, i mean EARLY formula especially. Not so much sanitation, and often lacking nutritionally. Nowadays (and indeed, for a couple decades, iirc), it's perfectly fine
@13:40 It is very healthy for kids to meet different people, some will be part of their life for a long time, others will fade away. Not a big issue. This woman is just upset by her father’s choices (not remarrying and settling down after her parents got divorced). She is still carrying what she sees as her own childhood trauma, which is fair enough. However, be honest about your motivation, don’t use your kids as a smokescreen for what is your own issue.
Story 2: tbf, if she is paying 30% @ $150, she only has $350 to live on. So, other than rent, I doubt OP would be able to pay for the things she needs. In most cases, food stamps is only $23 a month. I don't think it's entitled to expect social security, either disability or retirement, would at least include adequate universally designed housing, ideally a retirement type apartment/condo on the same campus as elderly medical specialists, social service branches, community spaces, senior needs specialty shops, care workers, & food/medication delivery. The smoking thing is extremely entitled though & someone just like her (in an apartment complex that actually allowed smoking, though I didn't realize that when I moved in) is why I now have asthma. Neighbors smoked inside, it would come in the bathroom vents. If they smoked outside on their patio, it would come in my window fan or AC (lived there only during summer). Apartment complex refused to accommodate my migraines & new breathing issues (ER kept saying it was just anxiety). In a place that is likely just for seniors or those with disabilities, smoking inside or near the building is extremely harmful to those around her!
Okay so the story about the mom who has the cognitive decline and keeps getting scammed. The daughter is mad at her because she's not listening to her and back to the things that keep getting her in trouble. I get it. It's really frustrating. I've worked with Alzheimer's dementia patients for almost 15 years and my grandfather suffered from dementia. It is hard seeing someone you love decline and think that just because you told her something she should be able to remember. Well, if it's not reasonable in her cognitively deficient brain, she's not going to do it. She doesn't think anything's wrong with her because that's part of the damn disease. They rarely ever have moments of clarity that they know better, especially further along into their disease. But the woman said it herself. Her mom can't help it. Yes, her personality is changing because that is dementia. The mean and hurtful things her mom is saying to her while yes, it would be devastating to hear NO MATTER WHAT but that's not her mother. It's the disease taking over. Maybe she should educate herself on what all entails having a parent with Alzheimer's or dementia. Because you don't just wash your hands of your parents because you can't control them while they have dementia. If you don't want to have any kind of control over your parents' finances after they start to show signs of cognitive decline then have the courts do it. They will assign somebody that handle all of that stuff. That way you don't have to deal with it, but you also don't have to watch your mom lose everything she's worked for her whole life. You don't have any of the stress of it and a third party takes care of it and is still a very trustworthy person. And no that's not everything she can do for her parents. She just needs to look into it a little bit more. Talk to a lawyer who handles estates talk to the state and see what can be done(if you live in the states). If you need the diagnosis then hang on until you get the diagnosis. Like you said in a couple of months she should have an appointment because hopefully you made an appointment knowing that it's a few months out. It's your mother. She has zero control over her cognitive decline. ZERO. This just makes me sad and frustrated because there's so much education out there on this subject. You just have to ask.
Good to see a fellow Chaos (@chaosgoodvibes ) get a shout-out (many of the chaos based usernames have became the chaos clan so we meme about it as chaos-es are known to do)
Story one - do not let that man have that baby alone EVER. Massive red flags. Why is he so desperate to be alone with that baby? That would worry me. Very strange behaviour.
Some nasty folks like that age...
I agree , it's super creepy , why do you only want the baby when NO ONE is around ???
OR.... It could be that any time he holds the baby, the mom is all over him.
"No! Not that way! Hold him this way! Ack! There's a spot of dirt on you! Go wash fifty times if you want to hold him! No! Not like that!"
That would drive anyone nuts. And it sounds like she's that kind of mom.
No wonder he just wants to be left alone with the grandkid.
It probably hurts him that his own daughter thinks he can't handle his own grandchild. It probably hurts that she's totally forgetting that he raised her!
Yes, it's good to watch out for creeps... .. but there is nothing in this story that suggests he's a creep. She doesn't mention that as a fear - she just basically wants total control over others with her kid.
Creeps need to be "disappeared"..... But when nothing suggests creepy behavior, to jump to that conclusion is extreme.
Falsely accusing someone of being a creep is as bad as being the creep.
@@kelf114 Are you the Grandpa?
@@kelf114 this is clearly a creep case. He didn't even want grandma or anyone else in the room while he held the baby. Grown adult men should not be throwing tantrums over not getting their way. Normal men do not want to be alone with other people's babies to the point of obsession. At the very least a normal guy wouldn't mind a woman offering to change diapers or do the work. He just wanted alone with a little girl.
Story Seven, my parents divorced when I was four years old, and my father was actually the one who refused to let his girlfriends meet me until he was sure the relationship was stable, specifically because he didn't want me to witness a million new girlfriends and have to deal with the emotional fallout of getting attached to someone then never seeing them again, and also to make sure he knew what kind of women they were before letting them near his daughter. As a result, I actually didn't realize he was dating other women until I was in my late teens, and the first one I *met* was when I was 22 and he figured if I wanted to keep up a friendship with that lady I could do it on my own. Most children get attached to new people quickly, so it's extremely selfish to give them a 'friend' and then take them away a few months later because your relationship didn't work out. OP, your children's stability and health are your priority, and you are absolutely in the right for your rules.
Story 5. There is a saying that says “Don’t light yourself on fire 🔥 to keep someone else warm “.
Story 7: A stranger feeling that entitled to having access to another person's children is a massive red flag. Good on OP for sticking to her rules.
as a bunny owner myself, i teared up a little at the thought of some random jerk throwing someone’s precious rabbit into a river. i’m so glad that the bunny was saved and that the man was awarded supplies for the bunny! wholesomeness overload!!
I'm not a bunny owner, but damn if someone did that to my cats...
The guy who did it had almost 100 convictions already and was in his early or mid 20s. An unpleasant person all around. Some people are just born a$$hol€$.
Hold up the dad in the first story got mad the baby was sleeping, as in one of the only 3 things babies actually do. They're babies, they eat sleep and poop, that's about it. Sometimes they babble or whatever but if someone told me their baby was sleeping I'd say "ah yes, one of their 3 things, carry on baby."
It's sad that OP's mother is going to lose everything. It's so hard to let go of a family member that is flailing when they won't or can't acknowledge that they are drowning. But if it reaches the point where they are about to take you down with them, what else are you supposed to do?
Agreed
Yesterday we adopted a cat almost 2 years old. She's a giant furball of black, white and brown colors. I've never had a longhaired cat before but I'm ready. She's only 2,7 kilos. We named her Kiwi aka mini floof aka Fluffy the vampire slayer.
That’s awesome! I wish we could share photos in the RUclips comment section lol
Love this. Buddy my dog and Wolfie my long haired black cat say Welcome.
My cat McGuffin the Fluffin approves. 😸
amazing names :D my kitties say hi!
BABY! 💖💖💖
It honestly blows my mind someone would strike a baby for spilling juice on their apparently new dress. While its good she doesn't remember, her sibling does and I don't blame OP for putting her children first. As she said, while its not her business what her Dad does in his romantic life, it sure as heck is if he's going to bring these people around her children.
At this point I've heard and experienced so many horrible people that none of the people in your vids truly shock me anymore.
Thanks for watching!
Thank you legend! ❤
Why do I image Vincey and his viewers just saying thank you to each other for no reason? 😅😂
Thank You, for posting these stories. 🤗
Greetings from Sweden 🇸🇪
Story 1 talks about such a great point that there has been big changes with caregiving to children that some older generations have had issues with altering. Like not kissing newborns or the cry out method doesn’t work in the positive way they think it did.
True. That it used to be that the baby has to fit in with you, & not you fitting yourself to the babies needs.
And you can't give new babies normal water etc,
( can literally kill them or frick kidneys etc)
or can't give old-wives "remedies"
😁🌏☮️
@@claudiaarjangi4914 who.... who told you to give newborn babies water? People have known not to do that since before we knew how to make fire. Why would they NEED water? You know milk is mostly water right? Thats why they drink so much and so frequently. Cause its their food and their water.
Please dont give newborns water.
@@dillongage Ive had two kids and I DO know not to have water & never have . My point is that a lot of older women & men don't know that , cos there was always old-wives advice to give "cholic medicine" that had alcohol & water, honey & water etc.
🤦♀️🌏☮️
I just read my comment to see if I'd worded it wrong, but it was obvious that's what I said. Are you trying to take comments the wrong way on purpose ?
Story 5: When I was a Christmas temp in a big store I heard of this elderly lady who was scammed into paying for Keanu Reeves hospital bill multiple times. It's obvious that these kind of people pray on the elderly cause their mental state is weakening since my two immediate thoughts were "Keanu Reeves is rich enough to pay any hospital bill five times over and why would he go for some old woman from England" but I digress, not my grandmother, not my issue.
Oh my goodness... the rhododendron in the wholesome memes is incredible! As an avid gardener that one photo made my day, thank you ❤.
The first one sounds like OP’s dad is a creep. He wants to be alone with a baby that he can’t even properly care for. Doesn’t want anyone in the same room as him with the baby and gets upset that the baby isn’t awake. 🤨
1- What is it with people wanting to be alone with someone else’s baby? It doesn't matter if you're the grandparent!
Another day another Vincey video :)
I know the feeling of that guy who rescued his rabbit. I once went into a busy road as a kid to rescue my dog. My guardian angel must have been working double time to keep me safe! 😂
Normally there's a new Vincey video up either just as I wake up or before I leave for work and I was starting to get worried. 30 minutes before I leave for work Vincey posts and I feel relief. Amazing how much you can learn to care about the safety and well-being of a stranger because they're posts on the internet have become a part of your life.
First time I've ever been this early to a Vincey upload! Yaaaay! Thanks for being a wholesome king in a weird, weird world!
I’m supposed to in the shower, getting ready for my day, BUT when Vincey posts, everything else can wait.❤
Omg perfect timing, i wanted to make lunch and was scrolling youtube and my phone for something to listen to while cooking at no avail. So i refreshed my subs hoping vincy had uploaded and low and behold entitled parents 1 minute ago! Yessss 👏👏 thank you sir
Nice! Whatcha gonna make for lunch?
@@ZenoSsj4Hero a grilled chicken sandwich and a coffee 😊
@@RoxZombie nice 👍🏼 😊
Ngl Vincey's vids are so relaxing after a long shift
Exactly lol. Hope you have a good relaxing day/night 😅❤
The sun is shining. Ive got a day off and there's a new Vincey video.
Today is a good day 😊
Still amazes me that the bank or companies can *always* turn off your utilities, no questions asked. (With very few exceptions.)
But, if you have a squatter break in. Or, are building a house that doesn't *have* utilities: You are *forced* by law to turn them on... regardless if they exist or not.
Day 725 of reminding everyone to drink some water! Stay hydrated, friends!
🥛
I love coffee money dad.
Same 😊
Thanks for keeping me company on my commutes! 😊
Love the coffee money feel good story
Glad I found this channel, very wholesome fella.
Story 1: "... she offered to wash his hands ..."??!! Yeah, never let that child alone with him, no matter the age.
I subscribed a few weeks ago, because I like to be shocked by how unhinged people can be, and I like it a lot how you end your videos with wholesome things. That's like balancing out the good and the bad.
yayyy i'm here im scared to hear the stories now
Vincey you are the human embodiment of wholesome ❤
Obligatory algorithm support. My exercise instructor and his wife recently got a pit bull, American pull(probably) and corgi mix and she’s adorable 🥰 ❤😊. Her name is Vera(I think, I forgot the exact name and idk how to spell it cause I’m a little butt 😅)
Maybe an English bull mastiff? I love Corgi mixes! And the name Vera is amazing.
@@C.L.Hinton I forgot sorry. Maybe it’s a french mix, I don’t know. I’ll ask him. Ikr?! She looks so happy with them ❤
@@ZenoSsj4HeroIf it's French, you might be thinking about a "French Bulldog"! Hope that helps!
@@Kinokoumori I know about the French bulldog lol. But thank you 😊
I am a smoker, unfortunately. However, I do not smoke in my house, nor in any of my vehicles, even when i go to a friend's house that does smoke in their house, i still go outside no matter if it happens to be -40. I just can't bring myself to smoke indoors.
Hey Vincey and fellow viewers, have a good one and enjoy the video.
I can't watch rn but I'll be sure to come back later to do so.
Get that homeless man a job in a pet store, he is the right man for that job!
I want a video of just the wholesome memes
Ahhh I just love crafting to your videos. They're perfect. Google Owl scarf, the owl face and 3D feathers is what I'm doing. It's in varying shades of teal from really dark to really light. If you can give me a good place to send messages, I'll send you a picture when it's done.
This voice sounds too great to reading reddit posts, but I will appreciate it while it lasts
"Taking care of a baby has changed so much over the last thirty years...."
No, it hasn't. There's just more gadgets now. All the care is still the same. Diapers get changed, food gets mushed, bottles are boiled, and love is still given.
All brand new moms are pretty overprotective. That usually wears off by child number two. 😄
I had a friend who boiled all her first baby's new little toys (and melted a few!) cos she freaked about everything being sterile. I tried to explain that eating a fuzzy, or sitting in a little dirt actually helps build their immunities. Her poor kid was usually sick because any little germ that came his way would get to him. My son wasn't raised in total sterility and hardly caught colds, even when he started school.
When she had her daughter, she was a lot more relaxed and didn't go sterile crazy. The daughter started off healthier than her brother (who turned out fine, by the way).
Being a brand new mom is harder on mom than the baby. It's the first time and you tend to worry.... I get that. But don't overlook the point that your parents successfully raised you, so they're not going to suddenly forget how to take care of a grandchild. And it's ok for others to do some things differently.
Keep in mind that millions of women all over the world have babies every day, and have been doing so for hundreds of thousands of years. Yes, it is something very special.... But also quite common. And many moms don't get the advantages of first world countries.
It doesn't matter if Grandpa's hands are a little dirty. Dirt washes off.
Love can't be replaced.
And Grandpa's can't be replaced.
Pro tip: Hold them all you can when they're little, because that doesn't last long. 😊♥️
I think it's less that OP's dad *can't* take care of the baby and more that he's actively *refusing* to. He won't show that he knows how to use the tools she currently has on hand for her baby...if she's using tools that are different from the ones he used when she was growing up, what's to say he actually does know how they work? Putting on a diaper too tight or too loose isn't going to kill the kid, but it *can* make them uncomfortable and why would you force a baby to be uncomfortable to appease the ego of an adult man? I think it's perfectly reasonable to want to know that the man both can and *will* change the baby before allowing him to look after the baby for an amount of time in which a baby might wind up needing changed. I mean, it says the man got angry that the baby was sleeping when he came over, to me that shows a lack of either understanding how babies work (sleeping often and whenever they feel like it) or that he cares more about his desire to hold the baby than the baby's need to sleep. That's not a great sign for what sort of care she'd receive, and if OP's description of a 'fit' is the same as mine, it makes me worry what the dad's reaction to the baby having a screaming fit might be.
What's more worrying that the level of care he might be able to provide, however, is his odd insistence on wanting to be *alone* with the baby. I've never heard of someone coming over to the house of new parents, and asking them to leave the room so they can hold the baby. Why does the mother need to leave the room before he's willing to hold the baby? What about her being in the room makes him not *want* to hold the baby? Its not like she needs to leave the room anyway and he's offering to hold her, everyone is sitting in the room and he's telling the mother she *has* to leave so he can hold the baby. That's just very strange to me. Does he expect her to yell at him for the way he holds the baby? Does he *intend* to hold the baby in a way that would bother the baby's mother? Why would a grown man deliberately want to stress out his own daughter by holding her baby in a way that bothers her? And if how the baby is held isn't a big deal, why is it such a big deal to *him* that he gets to hold it a particular way? Why does the new mother with all her complicated hormones who just got done nine months of carrying this thing inside her and dealing with all the physical and emotional stress of doing so the one who has to bend to the will of someone who's already demonstrated that he cares more about his own ego than the baby's comfort?
Grampas can't be replaced, you're right, but not every grampa is good with babies. In his day, it tended to be women who did all the childcare, so it's honestly not unreasonable to think that he might never have changed his daughter's diapers or bathed her, and doesn't actually know how to care for her. I've helped take care of my own grandparents as they aged and died, and I've worked in retirement homes, and I can tell you that there's a large percentage of people who hit a certain age and get offended whenever someone suggests they can't do something even when they know they can't, have failed it three times in the last minute, and will obstinately proceed to do serious damage to the thing they're trying to do out of a stubborn sense of pride. When that damage is 'locking your own bank account by using the wrong pin', its merely annoying. When that damage is 'letting a baby sit in a wet diaper because you didn't feel like changing it'...well, to my mind, the innocent baby's comfort outweighs the grampas ego. Everyone else in the family has been able to demonstrate a level of care that satisfies the mother, so it seems like she's not being completely unreasonable in her standards. I've heard too many stories of grandparents hurting their grandkids accidentally through stubborn pride to give this an easy pass of just 'generational differences'.
I have a story some people might find infuriating. I got in trouble at work for closing my finger in a car door. Now let me explain. Because you can get severely injured by closing a finger or hand in a car door, we have special rules to follow that are to prevent this from happening. I wasnt following the rules and it resulted in my injury. I got in trouble for not following rules, not for getting hurt.
Sorry that happened to you
Day 1,019 of reminding everyone to do things for yourself because you're worth it
You too❣️
S5 - it’s obvious the mother has mental disorders, which may be age or nutrition related. She doesn’t need a cell phone, a landline will do. This at least will prevent texting. No credit cards unless they are pre-paid cards, no car, all mail diverted to OP. Sometimes it is necessary for a family member to take completely over. The mother may be an adult but one with diminished capacity. She needs to be in a facility for her own safety.
Algorithm support
More algorithm support
+1
Taking care of an infant has not changed in eons. That being said, your dad is wrong wrong in this case.
The methods certainly have changed. It used to be popular to put an infant to sleep on its back, and up till the 60's, it was thought that actually HOLDING your baby would "spoil" it- and of course now we know touch is *critical*.
In the 1930s, there were car seats for infants, not for safety, but for a better view.
Formula used to be endlessly risky too
@@NerdAlert42 you mean it used to be popular to put babies to sleep on their tummies. My kids were all born in the 80s and that's how I put all 3 to sleep. Idk if formula was risky. All 3 had formula; my youngest was allergic to conventional formula and had to have a special expensive kind.
@@NerdAlert42back then my family would tell each other to feed babies water at an early age which is DANGEROUS! I’m glad times have changed and people are actually trying to care for babies properly
@@Tattedlady60 whoops! It was late when i typed that 😅
And by dangerous, i mean EARLY formula especially. Not so much sanitation, and often lacking nutritionally. Nowadays (and indeed, for a couple decades, iirc), it's perfectly fine
@13:40 It is very healthy for kids to meet different people, some will be part of their life for a long time, others will fade away. Not a big issue. This woman is just upset by her father’s choices (not remarrying and settling down after her parents got divorced). She is still carrying what she sees as her own childhood trauma, which is fair enough. However, be honest about your motivation, don’t use your kids as a smokescreen for what is your own issue.
Story 2: tbf, if she is paying 30% @ $150, she only has $350 to live on. So, other than rent, I doubt OP would be able to pay for the things she needs. In most cases, food stamps is only $23 a month. I don't think it's entitled to expect social security, either disability or retirement, would at least include adequate universally designed housing, ideally a retirement type apartment/condo on the same campus as elderly medical specialists, social service branches, community spaces, senior needs specialty shops, care workers, & food/medication delivery. The smoking thing is extremely entitled though & someone just like her (in an apartment complex that actually allowed smoking, though I didn't realize that when I moved in) is why I now have asthma. Neighbors smoked inside, it would come in the bathroom vents. If they smoked outside on their patio, it would come in my window fan or AC (lived there only during summer). Apartment complex refused to accommodate my migraines & new breathing issues (ER kept saying it was just anxiety). In a place that is likely just for seniors or those with disabilities, smoking inside or near the building is extremely harmful to those around her!
Okay so the story about the mom who has the cognitive decline and keeps getting scammed. The daughter is mad at her because she's not listening to her and back to the things that keep getting her in trouble. I get it. It's really frustrating. I've worked with Alzheimer's dementia patients for almost 15 years and my grandfather suffered from dementia. It is hard seeing someone you love decline and think that just because you told her something she should be able to remember. Well, if it's not reasonable in her cognitively deficient brain, she's not going to do it. She doesn't think anything's wrong with her because that's part of the damn disease. They rarely ever have moments of clarity that they know better, especially further along into their disease. But the woman said it herself. Her mom can't help it. Yes, her personality is changing because that is dementia. The mean and hurtful things her mom is saying to her while yes, it would be devastating to hear NO MATTER WHAT but that's not her mother. It's the disease taking over. Maybe she should educate herself on what all entails having a parent with Alzheimer's or dementia. Because you don't just wash your hands of your parents because you can't control them while they have dementia. If you don't want to have any kind of control over your parents' finances after they start to show signs of cognitive decline then have the courts do it. They will assign somebody that handle all of that stuff. That way you don't have to deal with it, but you also don't have to watch your mom lose everything she's worked for her whole life. You don't have any of the stress of it and a third party takes care of it and is still a very trustworthy person. And no that's not everything she can do for her parents. She just needs to look into it a little bit more. Talk to a lawyer who handles estates talk to the state and see what can be done(if you live in the states). If you need the diagnosis then hang on until you get the diagnosis. Like you said in a couple of months she should have an appointment because hopefully you made an appointment knowing that it's a few months out. It's your mother. She has zero control over her cognitive decline. ZERO. This just makes me sad and frustrated because there's so much education out there on this subject. You just have to ask.
Sometimes you gotta leave a violent comment.
My best friend is going to teach me to crochet beanie hats 🧶. This is nice background to listen to while I prep my crochet hooks. 😂
Good to see a fellow Chaos (@chaosgoodvibes ) get a shout-out (many of the chaos based usernames have became the chaos clan so we meme about it as chaos-es are known to do)