Midweek with Dr. C- Are Narcissists Just Dense Or Am I Being Played?
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- Опубликовано: 5 сен 2023
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.
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My ex narc was definitely dense about some things. He also wanted to control everything except himself.
🌟Excellent observation🌟...They have extreme control issues in regards to controlling everyone/everything BUT themselves.
Well said 🎯💯 They lack the ability to control themselves so they want to control everything.
With the Narcissists I have know they can simply never be wrong. Ever.
This work is a great service for the whole world! Imagine everyone knowing how to disarm such destructive people! Thank you so much, and take care in that heat, please!🙏👏👏👏👏👏💪💪
Thanks so much, Melanie!
People like Dr.C & Dr.Ramani are doing such a important service for the general public because it's free help that virtually anyone can access including the victims currently stuck in these situations.I hope they keep doing this until they pass away hopefully many years from now because I can only imagine how many folks have turned their lives around JUST by having access to this info.
@@malwads1836 i love the anti-narc community, it was such a life- changing experience! There's a guy whose channel is called Raw Motivations, and he's a recovered narcissist trying to help others, too💪
Dr C is the absolute best at this unmasking
@@caroleminke6116 Indeed!
The ‘He who yells loudest wins’ school of solving issues. I was raised in it and therefore married into it. And I never won. Not once. But I’m learning and changing myself. Thanks Dr C.
I identify. God bless you.
God bless u; its a slippery Slide! stay healthy & peace will Come
Absolutely aware that as predators 🤦♀️ they’re hunters & look for prey!
Dr. C: After months of studying this, I came to a conclusion that I can finally express:
My narcissist relationship was full of the presence of things that should not be there and is also the absence of what should be there. That’s my Go-to. Thank you for your continued support. You are doing God’s work, helping so many people. God Bless🙏
"The absence of what should be present. And the presence of what should be absent." So true! So true, indeed! Thank you for sharing. I, too, have been studying, going on 17 months now, and I choose to stay on the journey with Team Healthy. I appreciate the way you put that nice nugget of experience and knowledge.
#TeamHealthy
@@nancytwigg4631Bless you and good luck. We’ll get there!
Counsel that is real, tangible, and effective. Thx Dr. C
Thanks, Aaron. You I appreciate you...lots!!
Good for you Dr. Carter for looking way younger than 70. What's your secret, southern food, a loving relationship, Gus? Maybe it's a combination of things but whatever it is, keep on doing it. Cheers.
It's amazing what a good peaceful life with loved ones can do for you...I hope 1 day when I'm his age that I'll 👀 that good too🤗.
Boy this hit home when you said they know what they're doing yet lack insight...I always 💭 of a narcissist as both mad & bad because they know they're a problem for others but just don't care due to the lack of empathy for others...yet they also CAN'T 👀 how it all comes back to being a serious problem for THEMSELVES no matter how much they sabotage their own life in the process ultimately.
Sociopaths lack frontal lobe capacity for higher emotions like compassion
@@caroleminke6116 It's really fascinating in a odd way.I actually remember reading about there being some structural differences in the 🧠s of individuals with NPD as well.I 💭 understanding that people like this have actual differences in their 🧠 can help victims with healing because it helps drive home the fact that there's no recovery for them & there's nothing you can do but ultimately protect yourself from them.Great comment👍🏻👍🏻.
"Just because you're insensitive doesn't mean I'm hallucinating" I've had to say that many times to my parents who are hopelessly BPD/NPD
@@quatore-5886 I got called mentally ill as a kid by my narc dad because I didn't want him controlling me like a puppet.He took me to a child psychologist & they said I was normal.Not long after that he took me out of it,he likely 💭 they were going to say he was the problem🙄.These people are bad intentioned abusive nutjobs,all you can do is avoid them as much as possible🤢.
@@quatore-5886Oh yeah! Sometimes it goes the OPPOSITE way too,the 🚹 I ❤️ had very obvious Depression as a young teen & his narcy parents KNOWINGLY didn't get him treated🤢.None of this stuff is remotely healthy/normal.
They don't make good decisions and when common sense comes in, they have very little. I've learned so much about narcisissm by listening to your videos; Thank you Doctor Carter. .
In a world where diversity and inclusion is pushed so often, there are people out there who are just manipulative adult bullies (some with platforms) who will attempt to silence and destroy anyone who has a different opinion than them, and blame shift the other person for years on end, when it benefits their agenda.
We must continue to protect our individuality and peace and insist on being treated with dignity, respect, and civility, regardless of those who mask personal vendettas for their own gain. Thank you for all you do!
Yep! Thanks for your comments.
Confusion sounds about right.
Yep... I've never 👀 a full-blown narcissist without gaslighting being involved & I imagine most of the garden variety narcissistic types out there also do this confusing 💩.
This is hard to hear (about lashing out in anger), as I have "lost it" a few times dealing with a group of narcissist stalkers. Listening to Dr C with friends & support is helping me get away from the rage & back to peace & dignity. 🌻🙏
I am healing and trying to find healthy relationships I appreciate your videos 💖 it helps to be aware every one has a choice and everyone is responsible for their own behavior as far as it's possible be peaceful with all narcissist like to fight so it's best to stay away
Resonates SO MUCH as to the comments about a narcissist always acting like an elementary school child. It is so blatant because the favorite sayings of the Narc are "It is not my fault. I did nothing wrong", " I didn't do it!" , "Look at me, look at me, why do you never pay attention to me." ," I will do something for you if you do something for me first." , " I don't need to explain why I do XYZ or want to buy XYZ. I will just do it or buy it because I WANT TO!" I have learned radical acceptance to the best of my ability and do what I need to emotionally survive but it is SO TIRESOME.
I believe Alanon daily reminders work great to teach you to take care of you. ❤
Yes! Thank you!
The husband of 44 years told me that he tells me what I want to hear.
Yes my female family stalker said to me once "I'm not what I seem I tell people what I think they want to hear." I wasn't aware at the time about narcissists but when I found out some years later and I read that's what they do I let out a loud omg! Luckily I did go no contact shortly after she told me that because of previous sneaky behavior towards me.
Dr. Carter you hit the nail on the head with this video!!!!
Pleased!!
You took the words right out of my mouth. Yes, he did. Yes, he did.
I can tell you from experience that a counselor will not see them for who they are. And, generally, they will not admit anything wrong with themselves from admitting any fault, wrong doing or struggles they may have. As a matter of fact, they may act as if they are a strong person and have it all together. They go to counseling and just operate on a surface level, if even operating from that level. And they will play off of what the counselor says, and that's the best way i know how to word that for this present written message; basically, the unhealthy person (narc.) will give no effort in the counseling and most definitely no effort outside the counseling session. Usually in these scenarios, one person is trying while the other is not, but the unhealthy person is putting on a really good front to appear as they are trying. Be very careful going to counseling with someone like, be very careful.
I have found (more often than not) that when you speak to other individuals about your experiences with the narcissist, the first thing they want to do is "analyze" you, to find out what part you played in the scenario, and what you did to bring on their outrageous behavior. This is a dangerous position for anyone to put us into, especially when we're only trying to heal (get past) what's already been done to us. I am very careful in whom I talk to about this (some will try to put the responsibility on you, thereby taking the focus off of those to whom it rightly belongs), and I hope you will be, too. That's why I like these "online" forums. They give me a place in which I can air my grievances and learn/heal from others who've experienced the same hell I have. Thanks for all your comments! Good luck and GOD bless ❤.
Thank you for your videos . Your advice has helped me to calm my mind and has encouraged me to become my authentic self. I can't change others but I can, and will be the best I can be. You have helped me to this place. Best wishes to you
So pleased!
Ditto... my sentiments, exactly. Thanks for sharing. Stay on the journey with Team Healthy!
Dr. Carter I'd been in couples therapy which gave me back to myself (I was instructed to remain impassive witness,) but which didn't inform me of what exactly I was dealing with. It's only been since you that I'm able to understand & drop the burden of shame & guilt that I'd accepted. With your videos you've handed me a clear boundary between 'my stuff/your stuff,' and freed me to have the courage to act from my authentic self. Without this other half of the puzzle I remained blind & confused to my own valuable inner guidance. Now that I have my why I can move forward with confidence.
Ultimately it probably won't change the dynamic, but now I know I don't have to accept it!
Well said. Congratulations on gaining and sharing your new awareness and insight. Isn't it a sad realization that many counselors need counseling on how to counsel? We have the best in what Dr. Carter's teaching helps us understand. Team Healthy = Gratitude for Dr. Carter.
My narc. sis said that she plans her life ten years in advance, and does whatever it takes to make it happen the way she wants.
This answers a long standing question for me. I thought I was going crazy (after getting out of the relationship with my narc) to feel so much confusion about my life. I lived in fear that I was getting old and that there was no more usefulness for me, nothing that I could do, not only to help myself, but anyone else either. I think this is the whole purpose of narcissistic abuse in the first place - to make you feel so indebted (so bound) to the narc that your very soul is dependent upon them for its very existence. It is the ultimate level of CONTROL!!! Thank GOD and thank you for clearing this up for me. It helps me to keep my resolve in never going back to situation I lived in for years❤.
Congrats on staying away🥳🎉🎊.That gaslighting is really bad, it's a form of psychological torture but it lifts the fog once you understand what it is🙂👍🏻.Best wishes & good luck.
@@malwads1836 thank you
My question is based on my experience with narcissistic spouse. After 49 years I've discovered I am being played. However my wife found out I was watching your videos and taking your personal boundary workshop. She has now insisted I stop......"you will not watch his videos". She has a very low opinion of you and your channel. My question is Do narcissistic individuals watch your content or is my situation the norm? I haven't stopped and so It's getting very ugly, but I will get my freedom... Thanks for the good council. Your'e a life saver to me.
Unfortunately since narcs love their false-self, they’ll get angry knowing you’re watching channels like Dr. C’s. My husband did. So, I either watch when he’s at work, or wear headphones.
In my situation, my health and life are too important not to listen and grow with Dr. C. and Team Healthy.
I hope the best for you.
For the record- hopefully the cookout you had with family, friends and Delightful Puppy 🐶 Gus was an enjoyable time yesterday!!! I was praying 🙏 that it went smoothly!
I've used my grill twice in the last 4 days. Love it!
"...so deeply entrenched that we can almost say that this becomes subconscious." That certainly feels like it fits, Dr. C. It also is why this behavior can at times feel confusingly innocent & that it comes out of nowhere. Brilliant video, explains so many angles. Thank you!
Hi doctor C, thank you so much for your insight on the raging demeaning narcissist. This did, in fact happen to me with my older sister. Thus, ruining our whole life relatoonshop. Other family members won't speak to me now because of her, it is beyond me how family members can put up with that raging behavior and think that it is normal and OK for her to behave in this way. She has even gone so far as to try and turn my own child against me.
Simply outrageous and ridiculous. As you say, she is playing games as we both are very well-educated. No one should EVER put up with this kind of raging behavior and abuse from another person. We should love one another and be kind, not demeaning and abusive.
Arrested development isn’t treatable after the child reaches adulthood
Yeah those flying 🐒s & enablers aren't fun...But as long as you cling tightly to who you know you are as a person, you'll be fine wherever you go👍🏻.I 💭 1 of the most important things a person that's genuinely there for you will do for you when they really care is...Really see you for who you are🙂.
YOU SEE HER BEHAVIOR, SO WALK AWAY. AND PROTECT YOUR CHILD FROM THAT ABUSIVE PERSON.
@@caroleminke6116 If you are correct here, then there would be no point in adults going into therapy and trying to grow psychologically and spiritually. If readers accept this statement, you have given them reason -- if they see evidence of narcissistic patterns in their past or current acts, to despair and condemn themselves in their awakening, a bit like Judas, and so you encourage suicide. This is not going to heal people, if you take away their hope for
Redemption.
Yes, I did, in fact, walk away, and it's very sad to have to make this move away from my family on that side. Luckily, I still have my younger sister, who is, in fact, a psychiatrist. Naturally, she understands and supports my side. I just wanted to make this post so that other people on here in the community could see that family members do act these ways. They do play these games, and they do not have empathy about what they have done. Nor do they ever apologize for their behavior. They just continue to blame others for their unfortunate life circumstances.
Can a covert narcissist commit adultery, lie about it and sustain that lie for the next 30 years? About 30 years ago I separated from my narc hub and found out he was showing an interest in another woman in our same group of friends. One day, as we argued he blurted out to me in that angry tone of his, "If I commit adultery it will be YOUR fault!" (A few weeks later I did go back to him much to my detriment.) All these years later, my gut tells me he did it but when it occasionally comes up, he still denies it. I know he did it. I can't prove it unless she were to admit it to me but I never see her anymore. AND, he used to talk about her all the time like he had a thing for her but doesn't talk about her anymore.
Let's just say, narcissists are defined by their False Self, so cover up is quite common.
My ex kept previous relationships secret for the duration of our 20 year relationship. It's hard to fathom that image is the most important thing for them.
Blaming you for something 'He Might' do? The big IF! There's your smoking gun right there! He is hiding in plain sight. One thing I've learned on Team Healthy is to trust your gut. Your inner self-talk is the only authentic proof you need. I'm sorry for the cruelty and betrayal of insidious infidelity. Stay the course to your True North with videos such as Dr. Carter's.
@@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you. I'm glad to know I'm not crazy!
@@nancytwigg4631 Your validation is strengthening! Thank you.
Are they dense, or am I'm being played? The doctor is right it's a little bit of both, but our tendency to exercise the gift of second chances and empathy will be abused. At some point, we have to hold them accountable. We can't continue to make excuses. And we can't take a lifetime to see them for what they are.
Truly, you are all life savers. Thank you. "My" narcs are dense. They believe their uninformed selves for their basis for their contempt to come out. I do not have that kind of time to spend trying to educate them anymore.
Yes, your time is very valuable, as are you! Move on with your gift of time, spending it wisely.
Dr. Carter, you talked about the narcissist playing out their unfinished business with other people. I have been known to empathize with narcissists in my life because I know they have been damaged. I understand that, because I know that I've been damaged. In fact we've all been damaged in some way. That's when I remember a counsellor who once told me, yes, and the difference between you and them is that you have done the work.
Bottom line, that narcissist is responsible for his own life. I know others who are also in tough situations who are healthier in their approaches, who are ready to benefit from some empathy, not trample all over it. Now I know where to extend my empathy.... where it will do the most good.
I find it's a tough line sometimes, but realistic.
Being played for their (nudge, nudge best friend) Supply VS 'bread crumbing' to get you back in favor to play you again.
I can say that I am on my 5th month out from accepting bread crumbs from my daughter.
I'm pretty sure she knows I'm not accepting of crumbs.
It's always one move away from her going off on me and am prepared. I can hope for her until I am blue in the face but I won't trust it again!
She has already worked her way into bread crumbing university. Hope she can learn!
They lack common sense
I don't understand why my daughter and son are under my narcissistic wife thum. Now in my 70s i just look after myself
Just no words for how thankful we all are for you, Dr. Carter. They plan and play out their lives with "premeditated abuse", regardless of how aware they are that what they are doing is hurtful, harmful and abusive. They just expect the recipient of their treatment to accept that they are in the wrong and to get over it and to respect and love them back anyway. It's deliberate and they get satisfaction from doing it....that's why they do it...to feel better. They didn't learn to get satisfaction out of life from unconditionally loving other people and so in their relationships they use people instead. They use (abuse) people to show them how unworthy and broken they are and the truth is that they themselves are much more broken. 2 COR 10:5 and John 13:34-35.
Amen, soror.
So true. Thanks for sharing.
I always look forward to the insight you gave. ❤ Thank you so much.
About their lies: my birth father believed heaps of outrageous lies about me and was turned against me, but when my mother was telling a story about what the dog was thinking and the adventure he had, my father walked out of the room muttering, "Crap! All crap!".
He respected and loved the dog more than me 😆
You are strong and perceptive in your awareness and recall. Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry your father treated you so badly. ☮️🫂
@@nancytwigg4631 thank you. I cried buckets at the time, but learned to detach emotionally and stop hoping loved ones would treat me differently and now I can see it for what it was without the pain. Peace to you.
@michelepascoe6068 I relate to "cried buckets!". It is all so sad for so many. Just grateful, we now know what we didn't know then. Wishing you peace and joy. You deserve it!
@@nancytwigg4631 Thanks, you too!
😟
Thank you for this. My mother wanted to empty me of myself and fill me with herself from the time I was 5-6yrs old. My question is why??
For the record- wishing you, your family and amazing 🤩 puppy 🐶 Gus a terrific day !!!
Thank you! You too, Michelle!
In Thanksgiving: ( USA 🇺🇸) : btw: Media Technical Support People and Staff at Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D.: ( Presentation: awareness- Mental Health- information ℹ️ awareness ) : thank you 😊; again, thank you 😊
Dr. C, can you talk about Elderly, sick narcissists? (Both physically and cognitively).
I have such a situation and wonder what wisdom you would have to share regarding this delicate subject? 🤔.
Thanks a million!!
Don’t have to be obsessive about it. Just aware and occasionally look directly at the camera when you can. I understand you are following your notes as you speak. What you are saying is the most important part. Thank you for giving of yourself as you do.
They dont understand that they are sick what so ever do they. Nill insight.
Thank you for posting these videos & thank you for everyone's comments. This helps me so much!
Q./ Is narcissism a trait that is included in people with high functioning Autism?
I've tried to find into on this. Mostly the research says it's rare but I know my father has 'something' that looks like autistic spectrum AND he is narcissistic. He got the latter from his father, but there is something else going on as well. Apparently what ive read states it's rare to have both
Thank you Dr C❤
My biggest problem is keeping strong boundaries with my narcissistic siblings. My sister especially is so used to getting away with abuse, gaslighting is in her DNA. I can set a boundary and when she sees me at a family function, she pretends nothing is wrong and in doing so, steps all over my boundaries. My siblings have become so toxic, they will never change. Trying to stay away from social gatherings has caused me to miss out on several of my nephew's special events. Whereas she has full access to my children who go to the event, I wind up hurting the feelings of my nephews. Being around my siblings is like being on a roller coaster. I would like to learn the secret to maintaining strong boundaries.
They win .. when you don’t go too children’s events .. learn grey rock and don’t let em see you sweat 😅
DARVO - is an acronym that stands for just what you're talking about today in this podcast ( I think)
It means -
Deflect, Accuse, Reverse, Victim, Offense
Some of our Narcissism people in our lives does just this
Some of today's politics does this A' Lot
Please forgive me if I have this wrong - ?? 😳😗
It is interesting how much projection occurs from others if you've ever been publicly accused of a wrongdoing.
All of what you have said in the video is what I have experienced with our children and their spouses. Our daughter told me one day that she was frustrated with her husband because he doesn't seem to notice the needs of others but felt better when she realized he was just clueless, as though that excused it. I told her that "cluelessness" is sin because God clearly says we are to be aware of the needs of others and we are to be selfless, this is not a good idea it is a command from God. Her husband is a mean-spirited narcissist and our daughter is a covert one. They both are arrogant and judgmental about things that have nothing to do with sin but is just not what they would do. They treat me with dismissiveness while elevating my husband who never corrects them for their bad behavior. The strange thing is that both our daughter and her husband lack love and empathy. They both have fake friendliness unless they don't like someone then all that kindness disappears.
Thank you 🙏
?? Would you consider talking about how those who have lived under this type of behavior dissociate from their body as in not feeling aches, pain etc. but ignore and don't even acknowledge them which of course causes health issues. And how can we recover from this and what does it look like? Thanks.
In terms of blaming others, I have to say though that with narcissistic parents there feels like there is no 'before', there wasn't a you before you encountered them. And so, you're a result of them and their damaging ways. So, it seems like they have had such big effects that they are to blame for many things - it's like they have put a fly in every bowl of soup (more than one fly in most, to be honest). If it were something physical, like they cut off one of our fingers, we wouldn't treat ourselves as accountable for that loss or what we now can't do with that hand. Even when we try to do growth and develop past the old wounds, the growth may be well behind peers who had healthy parents and the growth is new or only started in the recent past/recent years (rather than from birth, as it would with good enough or healthy parents) and can only take on a fraction of responsibility that other people are able to take on. It does not seem a position from which it's possible to take ultimate responsibility. It seems fair to blame our parents for not being able to reach the same levels of responsibility as our peers, as much as if someone was in a wheelchair and expected there to be ramps so they could get into a building rather than it being their responsibility to use the stairs. It would be great to somehow race forward and suddenly catch up with peers in terms of being able to be strong enough to be as responsible, but it seems more like there are shortfalls in personal capacity that come from being razed by narcissistic parents (excuse the pun).
I think with people who have good enough or healthy parents, they get to grow as children under the protection of their parents should those children make a big mistake, they get shielded from the fallout and don't have to grow under the shadow of ultimate responsibility. Growth as an adult after moving on from narcissistic parents, I don't think growth goes well in that shadow.
i always caught the lie and pointed them out which ofcourse made lots of reasons for fights ,i don't regret pointing out the lies because thats how i got to know through reading and video's like dr C that he is a covert narc ,lying for them is like a knee jerk ,second nature ,i would never felt it was enough to just let it go ,not the best reaction but now we are nearly over it has become very easy to just yellow rock and now we get along a lot better but it doesn't matter anymore ,very ironic .
Narcissist is a nagging complainer 🎉🎉🎉😂😂😂😂
I think they are totally dense and the ultimate manipulators concurrently - I know that makes no sense
For the record - we give thanks 😊 for all the good outcomes of successful therapy ( ! )
Dr C. My question to you is. Can traumatic events caused by a narcissist or toxic relationship cause memory loss? I have had some real tragic events, moments and things said to me. In my 18 years in this relationship. The problem I’m having is recalling the details and moments clearly. I feel like I only remember how I felt in those moments. Usually the exact things said or moments seem blurry. I remember mostly my feelings. Helplessness, Change in heart rate, shock and most of all the hurt. I remember the moments as being intense and red flag moments. I sometimes remember where I was. Or who else was around. Why can’t I remember the details of the verbal abuse ?
It’s CPTSD. Your subconscious prefers to bury the painful memory. You can access it with EMDR sessions. It’s hard work but you do it safely with the help of a therapist. You are then able to re experience and reprogram your coping strategies associated with the trauma. It works and helps. You will gain clarity. Wishing you a productive recovery ❤️🩹
@@user-iq4jh8jo3o thanks so much I really appreciate your kind words. I’ll have to look into that. It makes me question so many things. I don’t know why I want to remember. Though when your constantly being love bombed in between these moments. I almost want to remind myself of who he is.
Thank you Doctor, you are giving some life-changing information.
I just think you deserve a better grade than a c minus 😂
After my divorce from a narcissist, 1 month ago, I am exhausted all of the time, blood pressure is high and sometimes I can't breathe i am so tired. I am under the doctor's care. Is this a condition that can be normal in recovery from kicking a man out of my house?
You need to check out your thyroid as well as cortisol & adrenal levels as this is a chemical as well as a hormonal imbalance caused by CPTSD so get help from your doctor or someone who knows about trauma recovery
Yes. Unfortunately you have to continue healing for awhile.
I just was diagnosed with C-PTSD last week, and started therapy yesterday.
Since I have Long Covid and hormonal tests are “normal,” I’m taking a few supplements to heal my endocrine system.
Stress is literally killer! Get well!
Unfortunately, it can be! Went through similar situation with my sibling. By the time I "crawled" into the ER the doctor told me that if I hadn't come in that day it would have been my last one on this earth!
FWIW- hopefully if any non- constructive phenomena and/ or events in any kind of relationship are addressed early in a professional setting 😮 the outcome of a challenging relationship can be put into a good light 💡
EVERYTHING YOU SAID IS CORRECT💯NOT sure HOW 2 STOP this Circus🤑🤔
Stay on the journey with Team Healthy! Keep learning from Dr. Carter. He helps us all understand what we are dealing with.
Happy 70 next year!
Let's not get ahead of ourselves. 7 months to hold onto my 60's.
Fair enough...lol have a wonderful day!@@SurvivingNarcissism
I love you man! It’s always a breath of fresh air. Your plain speak is the best. Thanks
I appreciate that! Shalom.
Thank you, Dr. Carter. Your messages are insightful.
You are very welcome
Dr Carter what do you do if you live with a Narcissist and they brow beat you until it almost cost your life like walking into Traffic?
Get out. You can become desensitized and start to feel it's all normal when it is Not Normal at all.
You find a way out!
GET OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. YOU SEE THEY DON'T CARE FOR YOU.
If physical abuse/safety is a problem start planning your escape as soon as you can.Try finding loved ones, domestic violence shelters,or any resources you possibly can that can help you with getting out.A lot of these ones are sociopathic & it's just really bad news🤦♀️...You don't want to risk things escalating even further.
Gray rock right now & don’t react because that’s how they get supply… I played as dumb as a rock & he even admitted to not being able to trigger me… so he left!!!
I had to take a retreat mid tape. My husband found our ol' rabbit had passed. I will catch up on replay. 💔
"The rabbit died" doesn't mean what it used to. Sorry to hear it, Teresa.
@@aaronkwolfe He was too old to call him bunny, which is what I would call him. Thank you.
dr c will be there when you get back. sorry to hear of your loss.
@@privateinfo1711 It was just that I had to tend to it at the moment. Thank you.
It's never easy to loose a pet. So sorry.
Thank you
Dr. Carter, can you please talk about why the narcissist always has to have the last word in any conversation? My husband feels (either consciously or subconsciously) that every conversation we have has to be concluded with his correction of my input, whether it is my perception, my experiences, or my feelings. Even if I am agreeing with him, it seems as though he has to have the last word, the final pronouncement or otherwise feels compelled to argue anyway. Is this pretty common for narcissists?
Always amazing videos! ❤
Glad you like them!
That's why there is a problem , it never fails????
This question time segment is great, super interesting, thanks for doing this. I have a question about something I have noticed and been having problems with from certain people around me. Could you please speak about highly intelligent people that have high functioning autism and have gone on to develop narcissism as well. They have learn't to manipulate and exploit but don't understand the stress they cause and because of that are not concerned about it. This goes on to become an ingrained habit because autism traits include getting locked in to repetitive patterns. Also what about the person who has one parent with high functioning autism and one parent with narcissism. Or does Autism have a trait that includes narcissism?
Thank you very much Dr. C for breaking down the many differences between the narcissists' "denseness" and Team Healthy members simply or not so simply being "played" over and over again across all kinds of situations, circumstances, scenarios, micro and macro systems, individuals, various groups, etc. Brilliant explanations Dr. C, with relevant examples to ponder and reflect upon today! Another excellent teaching video! Happy Wednesday TH!
Hello Dr carter . Wish you was my therapist! 😀Great vid
In Thanksgiving/ wonderful to learn of this: very helpful: thank you 🙏 so much Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D.!!!
True. Thank you dr Carter. God bless you❤
You are very welcome
25:01 Hi Dr C, is it possible for a narcissist to commit a crime a long time ago and be found guilty and be gaoled for it, but still be convinced they are innocent and have their family still believe they are innocent?
Wow, what a good, good podcast.
This was very educational.
Boosting from GA ✌️, to you also Dr. Carter, thank you, I appreciate you 🙏
Glad you enjoyed it! For what it's worth, I graduated from Lakeshore High School in College Park, Georgia in 1972. Both sides of my family were from Atlanta. Moved to Tx at 19.
Very informative! Thank you!!
You are so welcome!
@@SurvivingNarcissism 🙂
Good day Dr. Carter, good morning, here it is 12 degreesC at night and 27 during the day. thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything I learned from you, and the recommendations are precious..after a summer like swimming with sharks and with an open wound, I can say that it seems like the light at the end of the tunnel, hope, not another train which is coming..decided!! greetings from Romania!
Thanks so much for sharing this. I wish you the best. So pleased to be with you there in Romania!!
1. Do they know what they do? I had this revelation on one of my walks a couple years ago.. I always thought my mom would corner me until I reacted so that it would release her anger.. My revelation was she did that so that she could stay angry..
2. Fragile Ego.. I need to get out of "their EGO"
3. Lies.. It is about me telling myself the truth..
4. Rage.. I try to stay away.. That is a pretty good red flag..
5. Anger Issues... I did not Cause it..
6. Confusion.. A great red flag..
All gaslighting is sick as,,, end of. Thanks Dr. C. I find jotting down my ditties and venting in my own head often as saying anything out loud does about as much good as a chocolate teapot. They truly are so disullisioned and full of their own BS. I think we know that they know what they do. And us the poor sops who they think their fooling are dumb as, let's face it. You do make me chuckle Dr. C you remind me of that rooster in those old cartoons, you know the one that says,, well I said. It's sweet unless those dirty narcs.
It's like walking into the outcasts of poker flats .😂.They are aware, and they are good at the game.That till I had the winning hand.😊
BTW- as well wishing you, your family and Delightful Puppy 🐶 Gus an excellent evening ahead!!!
👍👍👍dr carter
A good conversation would be narcissist's and pets. I knew one that seemed to really care for "his" dog, but has no interest in other people pets. His dogs are always vicious and he teaches them an attack command. He laughed as he told me his dog chased the mailman. He got into a big argument with animal control officers the next day. He readily kicks at any dog that comes near him or his dog, gets into fights with other dog owners and never cleans up the dogs poo in public. We have leach laws, but he refuses to leach his. Sadly, he ended up running over his dog while running his dog bedside his car. He became even more biter and mean. What is the role of a pet for a narcist? Can they love a pet the way most of us do? Can abuse be directed towards pets? What about children who abuse animals? I have also heard of some treating there dog better then the people around them. Do narcists typically like pets? Can a dog sense a "bad" person? Do some get big dogs like pit-bulls to make themselves a tougher image? Thanks Dr C! Nice seeing Gus in your videos.
No, they don't care about them. I know these narcissists I thought cared about their animals. Until, their blind elderly mini pinscher ended up at a shopping center 5 miles away. Their granddaughter found him at the shelter and paid to get him out. Then she got yelled at by her grandparents, because it turns out they left the dog on purpose, because they didn't want to pay to put him down. The dog was eventually found dead in their pool. They've got the worst of luck too, because that same week 2 other dogs were also found dead in the pool. I don't know about u, but that doesn't sound like anyone who cares about their dogs to me.
QUESTION: How do you know whether or not to reach out to the narcissistic family member when you are in a "no contact" situation? Last year we got an order of protection due to domestic violence (it was that bad, a violent rage totally out of the blue, full of false accusations and followed by death wishes). But we are Christians and feel bad just writing a family member out of our lives for good. As far as we know, no one in the family is in contact with them. We have forgiven them but are leery of them. We would like to see if they are ready to apologize and have a relationship again, but don't want to go back to living in constant turmoil either, which could happen if we reach out and they don't want to admit their lies or that their violent behavior was wrong. We do live in the same city. We would like restoration but maybe forgiveness and "no contact" is the way to go? In your professional experience, how would you tell if they are ready to restore relationship? There is currently nothing stopping them from contacting us, but they haven't. Thank you for all the helpful information you have posted!
Forgiveness with no contact is the way to go. Invite Our dear Lord to fill that whole this poor soul has left as evidence of what his life could have been.
Simply put, narcs look out a glass and think it's a mirror, then look in the mirror forgetting it's glass.
Narcissus his fine self would have fallen into that trap!
Absolutely love your content Dr. C. May I kindly offer a small production tip? It is a very slight thing but will have a big beneficial impact on us. When recording, look directly at the camera more and not the screen so much. Make eye contact with us, please?
Thank you for producing these videos. Your teachings have been invaluable to me and I regularly share you with others. Please take my tiny suggestion with the appreciation it is wrapped in.
Thanks. The camera is on the left side of my cell phone so it makes it hard, but I'll give it a shot.
Commenting, removing comments not only I'm trying to understand how dense someone is, I'm going to go as far as saying they are demented and there's no answers!!!
Unfortunately, with some, that's exactly what you're dealing with.
@@SurvivingNarcissismyep they're just in a sinkhole of ignorance I don't feel I can pull them out of with any amount of knowledge. Thank you, I'm trying to keep up my mental strength.
@Surviving Narcissism Question;
I have been wondering why I am putting so much into helping the people who were so destructive to my own family?
Why am I less likely to put up with my daughter's treatment when my mother had rejected her?
I know one factor may
be that my father is looking at his end of life and he was co dependent but still cooperating with my mom or vice versa.
I have been thinking about this a lot. Holidays are always difficult with my daughter but now I noticed (Labor Day) my mother had a part in that. My daughter came to me.
Still, I am thinking as I write. Since I don't recall so much of my childhood do I see the way she is with her children and is it triggering me?
What's the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist!
I'm getting his idle threats ¡
I feel the need to add a caviat I watch your channel and know we all have times when we can show unhealthy traits, however please don't ask those of us constantly harassed by bullies to suck it up and be the bigger person. I have had a neck full of s,, te for way too long and I generally keep my temper in check.
I heard nothing of the sort in this video. Timestamp?
maybe they all have a problem with being normal human beings, they aren't godly,all powerful any of those things,I've noticed the mess with me and I can destroy you mentality, really anyone could effect someone's life badly if there slippery enough,not a power!
Mom 😅😊😂
Pathological.
manipulate my message my email my phones another one said the phisio my busines and my cousin my mother 5 phones after come portugal but the apple problem connect direct next door vodafone to the prison now wake every day im sick