I’d love to see an update on this gentleman, I hope he comes across these comments and knows though he may feel lonely he has thousands who are rooting for him and admire his ability to be so magnetic with his energy and sharing his story and mindset. Sending lots of love. We are rooting for you, Anthony!
Exactly this. This interview hurt. I saw a bit of me in there, especially the addict and dual diagnosis etc. He is clearly someone that can help others, drifting is true...you need to have something and people to work for.
Sorry but there is help out there. Help beyond help out there. My sister lives on the street addicted to drugs. We grew up never wanting for anything. Had money food everything one could ask for. She's been giving chance after chance. This is a choice. Life is about making choices. Nothing can help until they seek it
If only it were that simple. Drugs are addictive and mess up your reward system to the point where nothing else matters. You can make any justification you want and perhaps even be correct but at a certain point there is nothing but hitting rock bottom that will save you. And it looks like he already has so I doubt he will ever quit until he dies. Hopefully he will find a miracle within himself.
I cried myself to sleep watching this. I used to be this person. All I wanted was to be loved and have my mom accept me. You are loved Anthony! By all of us!
This one hit hard. Anthony is such an intelligent, self-aware and articulate person and it’s so sad that he’s talking about having just given up. I cried when he said he was the loneliest person in the world and cried again when he talked about keeping family close at the end. Despite acting as though he didn’t care about life or really anything, at the end his true sadness and fear came out. I feel incredibly sad for him that his parents didn’t show him the love he needed to be able to feel secure enough to live a full life. I really hope things change and he finds that spark to turn things around.
Anthony, I grew up with parents who were cold, angry and emotionally neglectful. It has taken me my whole 64 years to learn that love is not something you should have to earn from your parents.
I’m 19 going down the same path as Anthony and can relate a lot to his upbringing, his type of thinking, and the way he explains how he feels. Being angry towards people who want to show any sort of “love” or caring, the “get the hell away from me, where were you then? Not around.” Is definitely relatable. The “I don’t need you, please don’t leave” conflict. It’s hard having always felt alone.
Yep. My parents got married too young and we're mentally abusive especially my so called "dad". He's an abusive alcoholic. My mom sadly died last September of heart disease. The good thing is my mom and me made up and had a great relationship. R.I.P. Mom.❤
Anthony is so articulate and incredibly self aware... I'm a social psychology graduate student and can imagine sitting next to him in one of my seminars and feeling as if I'm sitting next to an emotional and intellectual genius... Anthony, don't give up. You have so much going for you between your well-spoken-ness, your intellect, your self awareness, and your appearance. You could do a lot of good in this life!
Cass , Maybe the issue is not with Anthony (whom I agree is a bright, empathic man) but perhaps we need to put our minds to the issue of WHO makes Fentanyl? Who gives the drug a liscense? Anthony would have smoked lots of weed, maybe a bit of crack and possibly even dabbled with heroin a few years ago. He would have had a really good chance of recovery from all these substances (according to research). With Fentanyl, it will be much tougher and his outcome looks more bleak. As a Social psychology graduate, I hope that you might investigate the horrors of addiction and why/how it's got harder to recover in your post grad?. 'Care about an individual is a start, think about their bigger issue is real care, do some research and possibly make a difference'. Good luck to you. from a hopeful retired psychology academic U.K.
I wish you could adopt him and love him. He's so intelligent, his vocabulary, how he describes concepts. He has great potential if he could receive healing.
The bottom line is all these people have to want it....ive been there too. Once I got over dwelling on shit in the rear view mirror, I finally put it "in drive" and "focused on the road ahead"...which was an epiphany in 1991, where coke brought my 6 foot ass down to 110lbs. I'd turn sideways and disappear, I was so thin and sucked out. Damn near killed me too. Best thing I did was MOVE- terrifying, but, if this helps ANYONE OUT THERE, that's what worked for me...and still does to this day. I have Empathy for those stuck, yet some view me as callous because I NEVER played Victim: it's this: GET Over your shit or DIE trying to hide from it.
One of my favorite interviews so far. His self awareness is impressive. I pray he finds a purpose for his life. Being drawn to the dirt. as he said may indeed be his purpose. He should find a way to work with people in the gutter. All humans need a purpose! Without we are lost and totally self destructive.
"where were they before when things did matter to me" ... there's a bitterness that lives deep inside him for not having that support when he was younger. He really and truly thought about the biggest lesson he learned and there it was...what he's wanted all along...a family...and a sense of belonging ...xx
Just goes to show that love is more important than money, grades, careers. He needed more love. Tough to repair those deep wounds. There are genuine people in the 9-5 world, yes we do sometimes get a bit obsessed with getting new possessions etc. But for a big proportion of us love comes first. I hope Anthony finds a path to a healthier lifestyle where he can heal and build. He would have a lot to give. That maybe the way you are now but not the only way you can be. Big hug from England and please be kind and not let your addiction hurt others as much as possible.
@@stst77 yes, without a doubt. Also I'd add that kids need attentive parents. That do activities with them. Enjoy spending time with them. Encourage them to be brave and let them make their own mistakes. I have 2 adopted boys that were taken from the parents for neglect, I wished it didn't have to happen but at least the cycle was broken for these two.
@@stst77 We've only heard his side. He's a crack addict & fentanyl addict still using daily hourly. I'll say this again family members of drug addicts never matter. All the emotional chaos. All the emotional sucker punches to the gut. I don't believe him. He needs to seek treatment.
He seems like a really nice smart and well articulated guy. So lonely and wounded. I feel for him. Prayers lifted for him to find healing love and a place where he feels he can be his authentic self be appreciated and strive🙏💓
I feel the same way as well this young man is soooo smart and well educated...and he is in the lowest of missery....we need to send LOve his way folks!!!II call his future bright!!!I call him Blessed !!I call him Loved and full of peace and comfort!! Father God please do not let him die on the streets!Amen!!
Sadly I don't believe him. Drug addicts break many hearts & leave deep emotional wounds. Those family members, close friends & news friends never seem to matter. Everyone else is a bad person. I still don't believe him. My cousin was just like him he left many deeply hurt family members. His story we're all horrible people even though my wife & I didn't press charges after stealing my identity. Auggie stole over forty nine thousand from his parents, siblings & me and my wife. He still lives on the streets. Still blames all of us. The family members of drug addicts never matter only them.
If I could give this guy a hug, I would if he'd let me. This man needs love. He needs support. He's so smart and very well educated and so self aware. I hope the universe cradles this man and keep him protected along his journey.
This guy is rare. I totally understand what he means when he explains how conventional styles of recovery tend to not work for him. He explained something in two minutes that I’ve been trying to put my thumb on for twenty years!😂😂 This guy is extra special, and I hope he can find a reason and a form of recovery that is suitable for him. Wishing you nothing but the best my friend. And thank you for another banger Mark!
Good looking dude. He's right the corporate world is completely inauthentic, if you're not a narcissist you probably won't go too far. Anthony seems like he'd be an excellent writer!
I’ve met so many people like Anthony in my time in recovery. BRILLIANT, beautiful humans who have this horrible malady of the mind. Anthony, if somehow you see this comment, please don’t give up. Life can be beautiful again and you can feel peace. I’m here among so many others if you need someone trustworthy in recovery. 🖤
I’m 19 going down the same path as Anthony and can relate a lot to his upbringing, his type of thinking, and the way he explains how he feels. Being angry towards people who want to show any sort of “love” or caring, the “get the hell away from me, where were you then? Not around.” Is definitely relatable. The “I don’t need you, please don’t leave” conflict. It’s hard having always felt alone.
This gentleman is amazing. The big sigh and the long pause with the eyes closed at the end was profound…he has an incredible soul not to mention a fantastic speaker
Man this guy seems like a really great guy who just needs some real help. I just want to give him a hug and feed him! So sorry life has been so rough my guy. I hope you find your own slice of peace and happiness someday!
This made me cry...he's so intelligent and caring..I hope he realizes he deserves to live and help himself. I pray he will turn things around and know that there are people who actually care.❤
Something about his voice. If he could cleanup he could absolutely find work in voice acting. For ads, for cartoons, audibook reading, whatever. He is fantastically articulate and his voice has a pleasant "airyness" to it. Could listen to him all day.
This one hit hard, when he stopped, and said family, wow just felt his soul was hurting so bad. I really hope someone shows him love, so he can love himself.
I've read most of the comments here. I hope Anthony is able to read them, too. He literally has hundreds of people on his side -- far more than he could have imagined, I'd bet. Hundreds of us are behind you, my friend. You truly are not alone. We hear you.
He's not an actor. Organized religion doesn't teach people to be strong, confident, stand up for personal boundaries, and other qualities that you need in life. Several minutes into the interview he's about as close to myself in type as I've seen here. Almost didn't watch it, as you get burned out on seeing yet another sad story. He's also dead on (commenting as I'm listening) that traditional recovery does not work... for a number of reasons. Most educated and/or skilled people don't admit to being addicts, as there's the stigma that you don't have the traditional reasons aka excuses for being one. BTW I'm a known master modeler of scale flying aircraft. The skid row stereotype of addicts being low intellect 1st grade dropouts isn't even true on skid row.
As I watched this interview it seemed like nothing could change his mind. It is what it is and this was his life. No emotions until the end where he couldn't hide it anymore. He wants that love and just prove he can do right. That Fentanyl......... got a hold of an intelligent mind.🥺
Top 3 most relatable and profound engagements I've ever seen here. Anthony isn't wrong many lead an inauthentic life and are disingenuous. I really really really appreciate you both for making this happen and dare I say I love who you are Anthony!
This was so heartbreaking to watch. He doesn't even realize what a gift to the world he is with all his talents, wisdom and calmness. I really hope he sorts through that deep pain and is able to come out the other side.
All of this can actually become hell. I'm very much like him and I'm also super conscious about my life and how it's probably not going to end up well.
That is where everyone gets it wrong. Anthony KNOWS he is a gift to the world; he also KNOWS the world has no idea what to do with that. It's even worse.
Anthony is very self aware. What a sad story ... What could have been if he had a better another start to life or better friends? Wish him all the best.
Wow, Anthony your life is so similar to mine in so many ways it's wild listening to your story. Being a bit older now I can tell you that you'll always have struggles, but if you find a purpose other than getting high, you can and will pull out your current rut. All the hopes and prayers your way brother, stay strong and find that purpose.
This guy's a winner, not a loser! You are loved Anthony and you can do this buddy..1 step at a time. You got this!! Someone please give this lovely man a job!! 🙏 ❤✌
God this one really broke my heart. Anthony deserves so much, and he has the capability more than anyone I’ve seen or known to overcome his addictions. Being self aware is key and he has it all the way.
Such innate intelligence and so incredibly articulate. I hope he finds his way back because I believe he could help so many people! Praying for this young man to find healing and sobriety!
Sometimes, our "intelligence" is the very thing holding us back. We know we're intelligent, logical, well- spoken, etc , so we think we can logic our way through the issue. I think we also tend to believe that we have more control over the situation than reality would suggest. It took one of the " lowest" people on earth questioning my reasoning for my eyes to be opened. I was fortunate to be sent to the top treatment centers around the country, access to the best therapists, showered with love and support, but the one and only thing that could get through to me wasn't privilege and it wasn't my intelligence; it was someone viewed by society as literally the lowest of the low- humans. He was the most looked down upon in a prison full of losers, and he was questioning what was wrong with ME. It opened my eyes literally instantly. He was basically just asking why I kept doing this shit, it wasn't a serious talk he gave me or anything of the like, but I heard it loud and clear. If THIS guy is questioning what's wrong with me, I'm obviously a huge fucking problem. I obviously don't want to be a problem. I don't want to be a loser. I don't want to be a piece of shit. And, since I wasn't out robbing people, stealing things, hanging out with terrible people, etc , I thought I was OK. I was well aware I had a serious addiction, but I justified it by thinking the only harm it caused was financial, and that wasn't an issue. I remember it like it was yesterday, but as soon as he said that to me, I immediately recognized I was the problem. I made a decision that very moment to change, and I haven't used a drug since. It's been almost 6 years now, and I've built a completely new life. I had to start from the very bottom ( prison, gov housing, min wage job, etc) , it is taking Time, but I currently have a fantastic life. Relationships repaired , financially comfortable, beautiful relationships/family, etc. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, I just see alot of people here mention these guys intillect as a possible saving grace, but after being in institutions the majority of my life, I've seen that the vast majority of us seem to be quite intelligent, and it seems to be a negative attribute, more so than a positive one in our particular cases. Either way, sorry for the freakin essay I just spewed out. It certainly wasn't my intention, but here we are! 😄 Hope you have an awesome day.
This channel is so powerful. So many stories, so many different kinds of people from different upbringing. It goes to show addiction can effect really anyone. It’s people like Anthony that hit me the hardest though. He is very obviously articulate, knows about his faults and his obstacles. Yet the drugs still have an almost ethereal hold on him. I have so much respect and hope that he can conquer his ailments. Great stuff SWU!
This guy is so intelligent and it’s so sad to see I hope you can provide this guy with help because it’s clear he doesn’t belong where he is so well spoken and so intelligent deserves a lot better
This dude breaks my heart. So charasmatic, articulate, insightful.. I could listen to this guy talk all day long. In a parallel universe Anthony is a famous film star or musician or novilist, James Dean vibe. Ive seen hundreds of these and keep coming back to this one for some reason. Anthony, you could do ANYTHING with your life man, I hope you can turn this around and help others living in this hell somehow. Would love an update to yourr journey.
It would be interesting to hear more about his childhood, as well as his parents perspective. It seems like there was quite a jump from his childhood to addiction without explanation
Dude is like a Ferrari with no driver collecting dust on the side of the street. Makes me grateful for the millions of tiny specs of inspiration that keep me going from one day/week/month/year to the next. You can be the smartest most talented insightful person in the universe but if you have no goals, than you have no drive, and you become weak, and than what is there to look forward to besides suffering? Drug addiction is the most demanding profession in the world man, it takes everything from you and gives you nothing.
It’s so sad that there are so many souls walking around today lacking love, the feeling of belonging, fulfillment & belief that their life’s can get better. No wonder so many turn to drugs, when they have nothing to loose, why not? This world is really lacking love and understanding on such a deep level. This man seems to have amazing insight, but he can’t see what a truly unique & wonderful human being he truly is and what he has to offer this world…
This is a perfect example of how shit parents can absolutely ruin a human being. Anthony could have been a happy well adjusted young man. Listening to him speak you could imagine him as a Harvard graduate had he had parents who didn’t have their heads up their asses. Such a sweet, thoughtful guy. I hope you read this Anthony. Hang in there.
This has been one of my favorite interviews. Anthony, you seem like such a great person with so much to offer. I hope that you find a meaningful path for yourself, and maybe one day, you will have family to keep close.
This one was so crazy to watch. It kind of hits hard that ending up in this state can happen to anyone. Man he’s SO intelligent, dresses well etc. i hope he can get help he deserves so much better than his current state.
Hey Anthony, I hope one day you are able to find a reason to choose yourself. I had a drug addiction my entire youth and grew up feeling unloved and rejected. No affection or words of affirmation, just there. I easily found my way to drugs. Those years I just wanted to be alone too. And I wouldn’t want anyone else to be addicted either. You’re really intelligent and deserving of love and a sense of family. I’ve forged family from strangers and learned how to connect with people. I had a hard time with this for years and could never trust a person who was genuinely being nice to me. There’s hope and it’s hard but I hope you find a way.
I am so heartbroken by his story and his demeanor. I just see him as a little child needing love and light in his life. I hope he can somehow find something to steer him on a path towards a happier, healthier future.
Anthony- I cried for you and prayed for, and will continue praying for you to find the love and healing you need. You're so intelligent, and introspective, and kind, with a pure heart. I hope that you realize how very much the world needs you. You were placed in this world for a purpose, and although you've lost the way, you haven't lost your value. I hope you realize you are incredibly unique and you are needed in this world. Embrace the light within yourself, you are very intelligent and capable of overcoming this, you just have to realize that you deserve so much. You have a lot of love for those around you, but you haven't received that love back in the way you needed it. Take all of that love and give it back to yourself. Start loving yourself dear brother. I have never been touched by a stranger the way you have touched me. I pray that you find your happiness, I hope you find the liberation you need from the chains keeping you tied to a life you don't deserve. You are loved.
Thoughtful, intelligent, self-aware, and well spoken. My heart goes out to Anthony, I hope he finds the desire to change his situation. He is like the main character of a Dostoevsky novel. I hope that he comes back to talk to us again.
To be human is to suffer. I relate to you in so many ways Anthony. It is tough, so many of us in this world sparkle yet society drives our shine into the dark. If not completely consumed by the darkness our inner sparkle becomes dull over time do to the mistreatment we experience at the hands of others. Just remember Anthony “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Be kind to yourself Anthony.
Crazy.. Anthony and me grew up very close to each other in the exact same society. It’s lead me to feel and be in the almost same position as him. Drugs, prison, depression, just an array of emotions. Just like he said, grew up with all the opportunities but it didn’t matter
I'm so sorry💔 I pray that you both can heal and find purpose in your lives. Whether either of you realize it or not, you matter, you're needed, and you are loved beyond measure. ✝️🙏❤️
I think he's probably had a lot of trauma due to his grandmother's death. Trauma, depression and not having a purpose has probably played a big part and his situation. So many people fall through the cracks and just don't get the right help that they really need. This really snowballs after a while. I'd love to see a follow up on him. Such a sensitive soul. 💗
I have a feeling he is going to do great things. He’s clearly very intelligent, but still needs to learn that he’s worthy of living a healthy and happy life. The way he tells his story is so captivating.
In a lot of my research on addiction, i learned that about 85% of addicts were highly intelligent people - some with higher than avg IQs too (intelligent and high IQ arent the same). This guy reminded me of this.
they are too smart for their own good. the intelligence is the ability to fool or manipulate people to get drugs.. anyone who wants drugs will become smart to get them
Some of the things Anthony said in this hit so close to home. I chose to go to a detox center, and it was only for alcohol, but it's because I have some undiagnosed issue(horrible anxiety), and while trying to get help, the doctors seemed to only think I am trying to get high, while I'm sincerely just trying to live a day in my life like I feel as if I'm a normal person. I stopped drinking caffeine because of how badly it makes me nervous. I don't know what I have, and I will not diagnos myself, but I feel like everything I did to prove that I need help was forced. It just wasn't genuine help. I'm still, to this day, struggling with my disability, and it's yet to be diagnosed. I'm misunderstood, my dad hates me because sometimes I seem normal, but I'm just not. I told that man, when I was 12 years old, before I even knew what anxiety was, that something was wrong with me, and he turned to me.... and told me that I'd never see a doctor on his dime, so what did I do? I started taking drugs to feel better. I started drinking to feel better. I did a lot of things that weren't healthy. I never stole, I never did heroine, but I still had to self medicate myself just to feel like a functioning person. I used to bring a bottle of tequila with me, in my back seat, to work, and I would go to my car every 30-45 minutes to take a big swig just to calm my nerves. That's not addiction, that's a need to feel normal. I can only hope that my future doctor, if I ever get one, will be able to see this, and understand that not everyone is just trying to get high, but to be able to feel normal for even a moment. Life has passed me by, and no one has ever helped me with my mental disease. No one.... except me
Thats right, no one will help you but yourself. Its a chore to keep your head up & keep on keeping on treading the water with depression, but you must. Handle your day to day tasks & problem solving. One thing at a time. Btw you do know that alcohol is a depressant, & will not make you feel better. Maybe just try one drink before bed time. Im afraid Anthony has no desire to help himself as you do.
I totally understand what you are saying. What Anthony said so makes total sense. There is no one size fits all when it involves recovery in an addicts life.
As a sober heroin addict, i truly hope he finds that purpose and that passion in life. I remember having the same thought processes him. First step is to remove the parasite. After that, your vision in life becomes more clear. I am managing a business now, I am engaged, and I love life every single day. I also know how easily that can all be taken away if that parasite is re-introduced into my life. Drugs are a deceiving and manipulating beast. I hope you find peace and excitement in normalcy.
Anthony, you have your entire life ahead of you. Everyone is commenting you can get a good life. If you can get to Iowa City, there's a place there called Shelter House where you can stay, eat, & be treated for drugs. Seriously check it out. They'll also set you up in your own place after. There you'll have your books, & can work whatever job for money, like you said. I bet you meet people who will be really good to you. Try it. Right now you have nothing to lose by trying something different in a different state. Best of luck, & keep up updated.
My heart goes out to Anthony. All I wanted to do was hug him especially at the end. He’s a special being who seems to have been extremely deprived of love and uses drugs to fill the void and numb to pain. I hope Mark has seen him since the interview was posted and told him how much people care about him.
He never had a family that loved him but he says the most important thing he learned was to keep family close. This intelligent young man is a walking tragedy that speaks to the toxic and dying culture we inhabit in the west. Our brightest and more sensitive young people sense there is no place for them. They either create their own space or sink into nihilism. I hope he can find healing.
What a moving encounter. Thank you Mark Laita. I hope he’ll find peace. He doesn’t deserve to die in the street. May he realize that he is worthy of love and that anything is possible. Anthony, I wish you the best X
As a mother and him Being a only child I can only imagine how his parents feel. He’s so alone. He’s like he has a death wish. So talented and intelligent. He could start his own family with children
Betrayal from your family is one of the hardest soul crushing experiences. Before you can leave you sustain close to two decades of daily abuse that you try to neutralize in your your head and heart. By then,, you’re infected with that behavior and you continue to do it to yourself by no fault of your own. Cleaning that up is really an endeavor that requires a warrior spirit. Bless this young man. I think he can do it. I wish you peace my dear.
Anthony, you shouldn't waste your gifts and cast yourself into this oblivion that ends up leaving you dead. Your grandmother you speak of so lovingly, I know this is not what she wants you to relinquish yourself to after her passing. There is always something to live for. Put your gifts to use and help some others in this world that weren't so fortunate to have the gifts that you do. Make your grandmother proud man. I don't know you and I hate seeing you like this. I wish you the best, friend.
Very well spoken and intelligent. Anthony, you need to write a book or a memoir as you observe the world around you. You are extremely articulate. You deserve so much better
I’ve rewatched this interview a few times now. For whatever reason, Anthony returns to my mind every now and again. I hope he is still alive, and has found a will to remain alive.
Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty Anthony. I am a heroin addict as well. I have struggled with my heroin addiction for 18 years. I am just over 80 days clean now. I know you say you don’t want to get clean but I heard different. I think that you’re story is going to be different than you think. I think one day you will wake up and realize you want to get clean. I have faith in you. 🙏💖
Anthony you sound so in touch with what is going on around you and I am listening to this for the second time. I see a good portion of you in my 23 year old grandson. While I am sad for your situation I am so grateful for you sharing this incredible journey that few can understand. I sincerely hope that you can find a resolution to allow you to live a life that would give you peace with yourself. You sound so intelligent and precise in your speaking that I believe others around you could learn a great deal from you.
I didn't (and don't) have family that liked me either. My parents were destructive and abusive. Its taken me years to learn to love myself and separate myself from them. There are a lot of good and kind people out there. In time, you will see. Don't let drugs rob you of the gift of life. You're very Special! Hugs to you!
I think I hope he can get back to his music and stability. I really think a year of treatment, talk therapy and a plan he can do it. He’s just so sweet. Breaks my heart.
I love him already. I tend to fall in love with those who I feel just need to be loved. I can tell he needs to be loved but also understood. It takes time and dedication to really understand some people and accept that their addicts. You can’t love the addiction out of them but like he said he just needs something to care about. That pure love could just give him something to care about enough to want to live.
Being that self-aware is a good thing but being so aware of the world around us can be a curse and believe me, I get it. I'm nearly 60. I went the other direction. Just kept going out there every day working my ass off thinking I was doing what I was supposed to do. For me, there's zero fulfillment in that or religion for any of the other things that give typical people a sense of belonging and self worth. I hope there's an answer for you out there Anthony and I hope we get to see a positive update.
This entire interview was so heartbreaking but the end really brought tears to my eyes. The deep breath he took before saying family, signals how much strength it took for him to say it. He deserved love and never got it from his parents. It's such a shame when parents mistreat their own kids, it's horrible. I pray God breaks those chains and surrounds him with love. I pray he heals and understands he is loved and this world needs him✝️🙏❤️
I thought the same thing. I took a deep breath with him, because I could tell he reached within himself to find that answer. Love. I pray God gives him that love as well
Your films are just so powerful and absorbing from a viewers perspective. I believe that when there is any 'sad emotional display' from your subjects, this is there moment of 'truth' speaking from behind the exterior that they project and their true feeling that moment inside. So hopefully there is, if only small a chance for all of them to rediscover themselves and their loved ones they left behind.
I don't know if reliability would be an issue or not, but this guy (with a co-host) could be an excellent podcast host. Extremely intelligent. Heartbreaking situation. Very self-aware.
i would thank anthony for being so real i'm so moved by this meeting and his level of consciousness about life and thank you mark for your work, it accompanies me for months and makes me growing up love
What a handsome and intelligent man. I truly hope he finds healing and rest. I would love to hear him play the cello.
I’d love to see an update on this gentleman, I hope he comes across these comments and knows though he may feel lonely he has thousands who are rooting for him and admire his ability to be so magnetic with his energy and sharing his story and mindset. Sending lots of love. We are rooting for you, Anthony!
Exactly this. This interview hurt. I saw a bit of me in there, especially the addict and dual diagnosis etc. He is clearly someone that can help others, drifting is true...you need to have something and people to work for.
🥰
Pl lol p
Orphan ooo pp😢 pop 😅
So perfectly said. We're rooting for you!
omg ur obsessed
When you think deeply, you realise most of the troubled people only need a second chance and someone to love them.
Real love from family and both parents is vital. Why is it so hard to love our children?
Yes.🙂
Sorry but there is help out there. Help beyond help out there. My sister lives on the street addicted to drugs. We grew up never wanting for anything. Had money food everything one could ask for. She's been giving chance after chance. This is a choice. Life is about making choices. Nothing can help until they seek it
I love to do food videos while smoking weed on my RUclips channel, to cure people’s boredom brotha
If only it were that simple. Drugs are addictive and mess up your reward system to the point where nothing else matters. You can make any justification you want and perhaps even be correct but at a certain point there is nothing but hitting rock bottom that will save you. And it looks like he already has so I doubt he will ever quit until he dies. Hopefully he will find a miracle within himself.
I cried myself to sleep watching this. I used to be this person. All I wanted was to be loved and have my mom accept me. You are loved Anthony! By all of us!
yeah easy to say that lol
This one hit hard. Anthony is such an intelligent, self-aware and articulate person and it’s so sad that he’s talking about having just given up. I cried when he said he was the loneliest person in the world and cried again when he talked about keeping family close at the end. Despite acting as though he didn’t care about life or really anything, at the end his true sadness and fear came out. I feel incredibly sad for him that his parents didn’t show him the love he needed to be able to feel secure enough to live a full life. I really hope things change and he finds that spark to turn things around.
Agreed. I wish he was my friend.
The man is a spoilt baby
Interesting guy! Although he seems mild mannered, I can see childhood trauma that can turn him into Dexter.
you said it best...I wish I could hug him through the screen
@@onepartyroule he'd steal your sh*t. Don't romanticize a drug addict. They lie and steal to survive
"The drugs is what I've chosen" as he stares straightforward into the lens... profound honesty. What an interview!
Anthony, I grew up with parents who were cold, angry and emotionally neglectful. It has taken me my whole 64 years to learn that love is not something you should have to earn from your parents.
Blessings and healing for you.
Amen
I’m 19 going down the same path as Anthony and can relate a lot to his upbringing, his type of thinking, and the way he explains how he feels. Being angry towards people who want to show any sort of “love” or caring, the “get the hell away from me, where were you then? Not around.” Is definitely relatable. The “I don’t need you, please don’t leave” conflict. It’s hard having always felt alone.
@@caitybug. Blessings for you in your future Caitlyn 19 is a hard age to be
Yep. My parents got married too young and we're mentally abusive especially my so called "dad". He's an abusive alcoholic. My mom sadly died last September of heart disease. The good thing is my mom and me made up and had a great relationship. R.I.P. Mom.❤
Anthony is so articulate and incredibly self aware... I'm a social psychology graduate student and can imagine sitting next to him in one of my seminars and feeling as if I'm sitting next to an emotional and intellectual genius... Anthony, don't give up. You have so much going for you between your well-spoken-ness, your intellect, your self awareness, and your appearance. You could do a lot of good in this life!
I totally agree.
Cass , Maybe the issue is not with Anthony (whom I agree is a bright, empathic man) but perhaps we need to put our minds to the issue of WHO makes Fentanyl? Who gives the drug a liscense? Anthony would have smoked lots of weed, maybe a bit of crack and possibly even dabbled with heroin a few years ago. He would have had a really good chance of recovery from all these substances (according to research). With Fentanyl, it will be much tougher and his outcome looks more bleak. As a Social psychology graduate, I hope that you might investigate the horrors of addiction and why/how it's got harder to recover in your post grad?. 'Care about an individual is a start, think about their bigger issue is real care, do some research and possibly make a difference'. Good luck to you. from a hopeful retired psychology academic U.K.
Nobody asked
My 23 yr old son died in Jan. I’d adopt Anthony and give him the family he deserves in a heartbeat. God Bless him.
yes!
He’s gonna steal all your shit and sell it for fent
@@zakarykovach3113 I hope you find love in your life.
I wish you could adopt him and love him. He's so intelligent, his vocabulary, how he describes concepts. He has great potential if he could receive healing.
The bottom line is all these people have to want it....ive been there too. Once I got over dwelling on shit in the rear view mirror, I finally put it "in drive" and "focused on the road ahead"...which was an epiphany in 1991, where coke brought my 6 foot ass down to 110lbs. I'd turn sideways and disappear, I was so thin and sucked out. Damn near killed me too. Best thing I did was MOVE- terrifying, but, if this helps ANYONE OUT THERE, that's what worked for me...and still does to this day.
I have Empathy for those stuck, yet some view me as callous because I NEVER played Victim: it's this: GET Over your shit or DIE trying to hide from it.
One of my favorite interviews so far. His self awareness is impressive. I pray he finds a purpose for his life. Being drawn to the dirt. as he said may indeed be his purpose. He should find a way to work with people in the gutter. All humans need a purpose! Without we are lost and totally self destructive.
Anthony seems really self aware. He knows he has potential, and I think a lot of the people here see it too. He can definitely be helped
Sometimes the smarter abuse victims can be the toughest to heal.
“It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
- J. Krishnamurti
@@gregbors8364 this 🙏
Yes. But, CAN be helped is a lot different than WANTS to be helped.
@@hugogiblets that is true, I agree. Awareness is the first step though! I wish him and anyone in his situation the best
"where were they before when things did matter to me" ... there's a bitterness that lives deep inside him for not having that support when he was younger. He really and truly thought about the biggest lesson he learned and there it was...what he's wanted all along...a family...and a sense of belonging ...xx
Just goes to show that love is more important than money, grades, careers. He needed more love. Tough to repair those deep wounds.
There are genuine people in the 9-5 world, yes we do sometimes get a bit obsessed with getting new possessions etc. But for a big proportion of us love comes first.
I hope Anthony finds a path to a healthier lifestyle where he can heal and build. He would have a lot to give.
That maybe the way you are now but not the only way you can be.
Big hug from England and please be kind and not let your addiction hurt others as much as possible.
I made a similar comment. The child who is loved is better off than the child who has Money, experiences and education.
@@stst77 yes, without a doubt. Also I'd add that kids need attentive parents. That do activities with them. Enjoy spending time with them. Encourage them to be brave and let them make their own mistakes.
I have 2 adopted boys that were taken from the parents for neglect, I wished it didn't have to happen but at least the cycle was broken for these two.
@@kentonian i am happy your sons have a someone that cares now!
@@stst77 We've only heard his side.
He's a crack addict & fentanyl addict still using daily hourly.
I'll say this again family members of drug addicts never matter.
All the emotional chaos.
All the emotional sucker punches to the gut.
I don't believe him.
He needs to seek treatment.
He seems like a really nice smart and well articulated guy. So lonely and wounded. I feel for him. Prayers lifted for him to find healing love and a place where he feels he can be his authentic self be appreciated and strive🙏💓
AnikaSvellte; I feel the same for him…
Couldn't agree with youre reflection more. Good choice of words, you nailed it 🏵️
I feel the same way as well this young man is soooo smart and well educated...and he is in the lowest of missery....we need to send LOve his way folks!!!II call his future bright!!!I call him Blessed !!I call him Loved and full of peace and comfort!! Father God please do not let him die on the streets!Amen!!
@@theredhotchilipepperssexof4269 no one wants your shitty clickbait
Sadly I don't believe him.
Drug addicts break many hearts & leave deep emotional wounds.
Those family members, close friends & news friends never seem to matter.
Everyone else is a bad person.
I still don't believe him.
My cousin was just like him he left many deeply hurt family members.
His story we're all horrible people even though my wife & I didn't press charges after stealing my identity.
Auggie stole over forty nine thousand from his parents, siblings & me and my wife.
He still lives on the streets.
Still blames all of us.
The family members of drug addicts never matter only them.
If I could give this guy a hug, I would if he'd let me. This man needs love. He needs support. He's so smart and very well educated and so self aware. I hope the universe cradles this man and keep him protected along his journey.
I was just sitting here thinking the same thing. Bless you.
@pouya why did you write that on my comment?
I want to hug this guy for an hour!
You don’t know anything about this dude from a 30 minute video yet people instantly make assumptions when you can’t know whom he really is.
@@elz_bytes It’s social media. That’s why.
This pulls at the heart strings. This guy looks like a 50s film star. I hope he discovers a miracle out on the sidewalk. ❤
When he speaks it reminds me of Woody Allen.
I totally thought he had that look too!
Jimmy Stewart/Carey Grant
@@Lovereignsupreme No, River Phoenix & Keanu Reeves My Own Private Idaho.
I'm not sure he comprehends reality or honestly.
This guy is rare. I totally understand what he means when he explains how conventional styles of recovery tend to not work for him. He explained something in two minutes that I’ve been trying to put my thumb on for twenty years!😂😂
This guy is extra special, and I hope he can find a reason and a form of recovery that is suitable for him. Wishing you nothing but the best my friend. And thank you for another banger Mark!
Good looking dude. He's right the corporate world is completely inauthentic, if you're not a narcissist you probably won't go too far. Anthony seems like he'd be an excellent writer!
That sigh at the end broke me. Goodness, that feels like truely the most honest moment in the whole interview.
I’ve met so many people like Anthony in my time in recovery. BRILLIANT, beautiful humans who have this horrible malady of the mind. Anthony, if somehow you see this comment, please don’t give up. Life can be beautiful again and you can feel peace. I’m here among so many others if you need someone trustworthy in recovery. 🖤
I’m 19 going down the same path as Anthony and can relate a lot to his upbringing, his type of thinking, and the way he explains how he feels. Being angry towards people who want to show any sort of “love” or caring, the “get the hell away from me, where were you then? Not around.” Is definitely relatable. The “I don’t need you, please don’t leave” conflict. It’s hard having always felt alone.
Hope you can find the support you need. It’s sometimes impossible to believe, but loneliness does not need to be your future!
When we are young things seems so grim at times. I swear it's not that dark..you can get through it....
This gentleman is amazing. The big sigh and the long pause with the eyes closed at the end was profound…he has an incredible soul not to mention a fantastic speaker
Man this guy seems like a really great guy who just needs some real help. I just want to give him a hug and feed him! So sorry life has been so rough my guy. I hope you find your own slice of peace and happiness someday!
I really like Anthony, he seems very honest.. he's obviously intelligent, he's generous and overall genuine.
I hope you find what you want man.
This made me cry...he's so intelligent and caring..I hope he realizes he deserves to live and help himself. I pray he will turn things around and know that there are people who actually care.❤
Something about his voice. If he could cleanup he could absolutely find work in voice acting. For ads, for cartoons, audibook reading, whatever. He is fantastically articulate and his voice has a pleasant "airyness" to it. Could listen to him all day.
This one hit hard, when he stopped, and said family, wow just felt his soul was hurting so bad. I really hope someone shows him love, so he can love himself.
I've read most of the comments here. I hope Anthony is able to read them, too. He literally has hundreds of people on his side -- far more than he could have imagined, I'd bet. Hundreds of us are behind you, my friend. You truly are not alone. We hear you.
Almost seems like a well educated actor playing a fentanyl addict
He speaks like timothee chalamet
We're all actors, and life is but a stage.
@@stephanipeloquin4631 full of Sound and Fury.
He's not an actor. Organized religion doesn't teach people to be strong, confident, stand up for personal boundaries, and other qualities that you need in life. Several minutes into the interview he's about as close to myself in type as I've seen here. Almost didn't watch it, as you get burned out on seeing yet another sad story. He's also dead on (commenting as I'm listening) that traditional recovery does not work... for a number of reasons. Most educated and/or skilled people don't admit to being addicts, as there's the stigma that you don't have the traditional reasons aka excuses for being one. BTW I'm a known master modeler of scale flying aircraft. The skid row stereotype of addicts being low intellect 1st grade dropouts isn't even true on skid row.
@@billg7205 I don’t agree organized religion is bad for everyone
As I watched this interview it seemed like nothing could change his mind. It is what it is and this was his life. No emotions until the end where he couldn't hide it anymore. He wants that love and just prove he can do right. That Fentanyl......... got a hold of an intelligent mind.🥺
My heart goes out to you Anthony, you deserve more.
Top 3 most relatable and profound engagements I've ever seen here. Anthony isn't wrong many lead an inauthentic life and are disingenuous. I really really really appreciate you both for making this happen and dare I say I love who you are Anthony!
This was so heartbreaking to watch. He doesn't even realize what a gift to the world he is with all his talents, wisdom and calmness. I really hope he sorts through that deep pain and is able to come out the other side.
All of this can actually become hell. I'm very much like him and I'm also super conscious about my life and how it's probably not going to end up well.
That is where everyone gets it wrong. Anthony KNOWS he is a gift to the world; he also KNOWS the world has no idea what to do with that. It's even worse.
That was really thought provoking. A lot of people think like that even if they don't take it to this extreme.
Anthony is very self aware. What a sad story ... What could have been if he had a better another start to life or better friends? Wish him all the best.
Anthony is so very charming! He’s handsome, kind, smart. You have sooo much potential don’t let the streets be your last home! You are worthy
Wow, Anthony your life is so similar to mine in so many ways it's wild listening to your story. Being a bit older now I can tell you that you'll always have struggles, but if you find a purpose other than getting high, you can and will pull out your current rut. All the hopes and prayers your way brother, stay strong and find that purpose.
This guy's a winner, not a loser! You are loved Anthony and you can do this buddy..1 step at a time. You got this!! Someone please give this lovely man a job!! 🙏 ❤✌
What is your determination based by which you judge others on weather or not they’re winners/losers?
@@bloomerdavid lmao starting fights for no reason.
@@TheTrillaTron something funny?
@@bloomerdavid Said no one...EVER!
@@bloomerdavid lolol
God this one really broke my heart. Anthony deserves so much, and he has the capability more than anyone I’ve seen or known to overcome his addictions. Being self aware is key and he has it all the way.
Nice to hear Anthony speak & so intelligently
So sorry for the feelings from childhood
I understand
Respect from New Zealand 🪴🌴
Such innate intelligence and so incredibly articulate. I hope he finds his way back because I believe he could help so many people! Praying for this young man to find healing and sobriety!
Sometimes, our "intelligence" is the very thing holding us back. We know we're intelligent, logical, well- spoken, etc , so we think we can logic our way through the issue. I think we also tend to believe that we have more control over the situation than reality would suggest.
It took one of the " lowest" people on earth questioning my reasoning for my eyes to be opened. I was fortunate to be sent to the top treatment centers around the country, access to the best therapists, showered with love and support, but the one and only thing that could get through to me wasn't privilege and it wasn't my intelligence; it was someone viewed by society as literally the lowest of the low- humans. He was the most looked down upon in a prison full of losers, and he was questioning what was wrong with ME.
It opened my eyes literally instantly. He was basically just asking why I kept doing this shit, it wasn't a serious talk he gave me or anything of the like, but I heard it loud and clear. If THIS guy is questioning what's wrong with me, I'm obviously a huge fucking problem.
I obviously don't want to be a problem. I don't want to be a loser. I don't want to be a piece of shit. And, since I wasn't out robbing people, stealing things, hanging out with terrible people, etc , I thought I was OK. I was well aware I had a serious addiction, but I justified it by thinking the only harm it caused was financial, and that wasn't an issue.
I remember it like it was yesterday, but as soon as he said that to me, I immediately recognized I was the problem. I made a decision that very moment to change, and I haven't used a drug since. It's been almost 6 years now, and I've built a completely new life. I had to start from the very bottom ( prison, gov housing, min wage job, etc) , it is taking Time, but I currently have a fantastic life. Relationships repaired , financially comfortable, beautiful relationships/family, etc.
I'm not trying to toot my own horn, I just see alot of people here mention these guys intillect as a possible saving grace, but after being in institutions the majority of my life, I've seen that the vast majority of us seem to be quite intelligent, and it seems to be a negative attribute, more so than a positive one in our particular cases.
Either way, sorry for the freakin essay I just spewed out. It certainly wasn't my intention, but here we are! 😄
Hope you have an awesome day.
@@weirdmood8102 I appreciate your candor and explanation! And congratulations on your continuing journey 🙏🏼
This channel is so powerful. So many stories, so many different kinds of people from different upbringing. It goes to show addiction can effect really anyone. It’s people like Anthony that hit me the hardest though.
He is very obviously articulate, knows about his faults and his obstacles. Yet the drugs still have an almost ethereal hold on him. I have so much respect and hope that he can conquer his ailments.
Great stuff SWU!
This guy is so intelligent and it’s so sad to see I hope you can provide this guy with help because it’s clear he doesn’t belong where he is so well spoken and so intelligent deserves a lot better
This dude breaks my heart. So charasmatic, articulate, insightful.. I could listen to this guy talk all day long. In a parallel universe Anthony is a famous film star or musician or novilist, James Dean vibe. Ive seen hundreds of these and keep coming back to this one for some reason. Anthony, you could do ANYTHING with your life man, I hope you can turn this around and help others living in this hell somehow. Would love an update to yourr journey.
It would be interesting to hear more about his childhood, as well as his parents perspective. It seems like there was quite a jump from his childhood to addiction without explanation
Probably one of my favorite interviews!! I wish we could hear more about him!!
Yes… we’d love to see a revisit on Anthony
Dude is like a Ferrari with no driver collecting dust on the side of the street. Makes me grateful for the millions of tiny specs of inspiration that keep me going from one day/week/month/year to the next. You can be the smartest most talented insightful person in the universe but if you have no goals, than you have no drive, and you become weak, and than what is there to look forward to besides suffering? Drug addiction is the most demanding profession in the world man, it takes everything from you and gives you nothing.
Thank you for all the work you've given us Mark. I'm becoming a better person because of you.
Sending love and gratitude From Beograde, Serbia.
❤️
Vrlo.lepo od tebe Milice.Da super .pozdrav
@@dankadesign7462 Hvala🍀🍀
@@milicagrujic1361 🙂👍
Pozdrav iz Indijane, 🇺🇸
@@katarinahinsey3931 🍀🍀😍
What a lovely person. God bless him.
It’s so sad that there are so many souls walking around today lacking love, the feeling of belonging, fulfillment & belief that their life’s can get better. No wonder so many turn to drugs, when they have nothing to loose, why not? This world is really lacking love and understanding on such a deep level. This man seems to have amazing insight, but he can’t see what a truly unique & wonderful human being he truly is and what he has to offer this world…
This is a perfect example of how shit parents can absolutely ruin a human being. Anthony could have been a happy well adjusted young man. Listening to him speak you could imagine him as a Harvard graduate had he had parents who didn’t have their heads up their asses. Such a sweet, thoughtful guy. I hope you read this Anthony. Hang in there.
This has been one of my favorite interviews. Anthony, you seem like such a great person with so much to offer. I hope that you find a meaningful path for yourself, and maybe one day, you will have family to keep close.
So much potential, hope he gets help. Such a wonderful young man. My heart goes out to him.
Until he steals everything you’ve got.
This one was so crazy to watch. It kind of hits hard that ending up in this state can happen to anyone. Man he’s SO intelligent, dresses well etc. i hope he can get help he deserves so much better than his current state.
Anthony, Your story touched me so deeply, and I thank you for sharing it with us. I wish you all the love and happiness imaginable in life.
Hey Anthony, I hope one day you are able to find a reason to choose yourself. I had a drug addiction my entire youth and grew up feeling unloved and rejected. No affection or words of affirmation, just there. I easily found my way to drugs. Those years I just wanted to be alone too. And I wouldn’t want anyone else to be addicted either. You’re really intelligent and deserving of love and a sense of family.
I’ve forged family from strangers and learned how to connect with people. I had a hard time with this for years and could never trust a person who was genuinely being nice to me. There’s hope and it’s hard but I hope you find a way.
I am so heartbroken by his story and his demeanor. I just see him as a little child needing love and light in his life. I hope he can somehow find something to steer him on a path towards a happier, healthier future.
Anthony- I cried for you and prayed for, and will continue praying for you to find the love and healing you need. You're so intelligent, and introspective, and kind, with a pure heart. I hope that you realize how very much the world needs you. You were placed in this world for a purpose, and although you've lost the way, you haven't lost your value. I hope you realize you are incredibly unique and you are needed in this world. Embrace the light within yourself, you are very intelligent and capable of overcoming this, you just have to realize that you deserve so much. You have a lot of love for those around you, but you haven't received that love back in the way you needed it. Take all of that love and give it back to yourself. Start loving yourself dear brother. I have never been touched by a stranger the way you have touched me. I pray that you find your happiness, I hope you find the liberation you need from the chains keeping you tied to a life you don't deserve. You are loved.
Thoughtful, intelligent, self-aware, and well spoken. My heart goes out to Anthony, I hope he finds the desire to change his situation. He is like the main character of a Dostoevsky novel. I hope that he comes back to talk to us again.
I loved listening to his story. You can see in his eyes he has so much more to tell. Prayers to you!
To be human is to suffer. I relate to you in so many ways Anthony. It is tough, so many of us in this world sparkle yet society drives our shine into the dark. If not completely consumed by the darkness our inner sparkle becomes dull over time do to the mistreatment we experience at the hands of others. Just remember Anthony
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Be kind to yourself Anthony.
well said
Crazy.. Anthony and me grew up very close to each other in the exact same society. It’s lead me to feel and be in the almost same position as him. Drugs, prison, depression, just an array of emotions. Just like he said, grew up with all the opportunities but it didn’t matter
I'm so sorry💔 I pray that you both can heal and find purpose in your lives. Whether either of you realize it or not, you matter, you're needed, and you are loved beyond measure. ✝️🙏❤️
It’s what you make of it, in any situation. It’s never too late to find love in this world.
I understand. Without love, it's an empty life. I am learning to love myself. I'm 53. It's taken a long time. You can do it. Don't give up.
@@colettespencer3357 that is the same as me I’m 54 and just recently learning how to love myself
Wow. A great interview. I hope his parents see it. What an articulate young man.
His parents definitely need to see it.
His parents should be proud Anthony has more soul than most men I've met doing the 9 to 5
he is so wonderfully spoken and intensely genuine. just like anyone, there is hope for him - i only wish that one day he realizes it
I think he's probably had a lot of trauma due to his grandmother's death. Trauma, depression and not having a purpose has probably played a big part and his situation. So many people fall through the cracks and just don't get the right help that they really need. This really snowballs after a while. I'd love to see a follow up on him. Such a sensitive soul. 💗
I 💯 agree!
I have a feeling he is going to do great things. He’s clearly very intelligent, but still needs to learn that he’s worthy of living a healthy and happy life. The way he tells his story is so captivating.
In a lot of my research on addiction, i learned that about 85% of addicts were highly intelligent people - some with higher than avg IQs too (intelligent and high IQ arent the same). This guy reminded me of this.
they are too smart for their own good. the intelligence is the ability to fool or manipulate people to get drugs.. anyone who wants drugs will become smart to get them
Some of the things Anthony said in this hit so close to home. I chose to go to a detox center, and it was only for alcohol, but it's because I have some undiagnosed issue(horrible anxiety), and while trying to get help, the doctors seemed to only think I am trying to get high, while I'm sincerely just trying to live a day in my life like I feel as if I'm a normal person. I stopped drinking caffeine because of how badly it makes me nervous. I don't know what I have, and I will not diagnos myself, but I feel like everything I did to prove that I need help was forced. It just wasn't genuine help. I'm still, to this day, struggling with my disability, and it's yet to be diagnosed. I'm misunderstood, my dad hates me because sometimes I seem normal, but I'm just not. I told that man, when I was 12 years old, before I even knew what anxiety was, that something was wrong with me, and he turned to me.... and told me that I'd never see a doctor on his dime, so what did I do? I started taking drugs to feel better. I started drinking to feel better. I did a lot of things that weren't healthy. I never stole, I never did heroine, but I still had to self medicate myself just to feel like a functioning person. I used to bring a bottle of tequila with me, in my back seat, to work, and I would go to my car every 30-45 minutes to take a big swig just to calm my nerves. That's not addiction, that's a need to feel normal. I can only hope that my future doctor, if I ever get one, will be able to see this, and understand that not everyone is just trying to get high, but to be able to feel normal for even a moment. Life has passed me by, and no one has ever helped me with my mental disease. No one.... except me
I wish the best for Anthony, I hope that someone hears his pain, and helps him.
Thats right, no one will help you but yourself. Its a chore to keep your head up & keep on keeping on treading the water with depression, but you must. Handle your day to day tasks & problem solving. One thing at a time. Btw you do know that alcohol is a depressant, & will not make you feel better. Maybe just try one drink before bed time.
Im afraid Anthony has no desire to help himself as you do.
This is not about you.
@@bloomerdavid I didn't make that comment for me, it's for US, you fucking twat. Go fucking be a bitch to someone else
I totally understand what you are saying. What Anthony said so makes total sense. There is no one size fits all when it involves recovery in an addicts life.
It seems like high intelligence often leads to overthinking and anxiety = more pain. My mom went to Princeton, but still succumbed to her addiction.
As a sober heroin addict, i truly hope he finds that purpose and that passion in life. I remember having the same thought processes him. First step is to remove the parasite. After that, your vision in life becomes more clear. I am managing a business now, I am engaged, and I love life every single day. I also know how easily that can all be taken away if that parasite is re-introduced into my life. Drugs are a deceiving and manipulating beast. I hope you find peace and excitement in normalcy.
Anthony, you have your entire life ahead of you. Everyone is commenting you can get a good life. If you can get to Iowa City, there's a place there called Shelter House where you can stay, eat, & be treated for drugs. Seriously check it out. They'll also set you up in your own place after. There you'll have your books, & can work whatever job for money, like you said. I bet you meet people who will be really good to you. Try it. Right now you have nothing to lose by trying something different in a different state. Best of luck, & keep up updated.
My heart goes out to Anthony.
All I wanted to do was hug him especially at the end.
He’s a special being who seems to have been extremely deprived of love and uses drugs to fill the void and numb to pain.
I hope Mark has seen him since the interview was posted and told him how much people care about him.
He never had a family that loved him but he says the most important thing he learned was to keep family close. This intelligent young man is a walking tragedy that speaks to the toxic and dying culture we inhabit in the west. Our brightest and more sensitive young people sense there is no place for them. They either create their own space or sink into nihilism. I hope he can find healing.
What a moving encounter.
Thank you Mark Laita.
I hope he’ll find peace. He doesn’t deserve to die in the street.
May he realize that he is worthy of love and that anything is possible.
Anthony, I wish you the best
X
As a mother and him
Being a only child I can only imagine how his parents feel. He’s so alone. He’s like he has a death wish. So talented and intelligent. He could start his own family with children
Betrayal from your family is one of the hardest soul crushing experiences. Before you can leave you sustain close to two decades of daily abuse that you try to neutralize in your your head and heart. By then,, you’re infected with that behavior and you continue to do it to yourself by no fault of your own. Cleaning that up is really an endeavor that requires a warrior spirit. Bless this young man. I think he can do it. I wish you peace my dear.
So heartbreaking 💔 so extremely articulate, smart , but so vulnerable…all he ever wanted was affirmation from his family
Man, this interview was tough. I wish Anthony the best, he seems like a good guy - blessings from VA!
Anthony, you shouldn't waste your gifts and cast yourself into this oblivion that ends up leaving you dead. Your grandmother you speak of so lovingly, I know this is not what she wants you to relinquish yourself to after her passing. There is always something to live for. Put your gifts to use and help some others in this world that weren't so fortunate to have the gifts that you do. Make your grandmother proud man. I don't know you and I hate seeing you like this. I wish you the best, friend.
Very well spoken and intelligent. Anthony, you need to write a book or a memoir as you observe the world around you. You are extremely articulate. You deserve so much better
What an incredibly eloquent and intelligent being. Hope he gets assistance like many so on here. Peace from someone in the shit themselves rn.
I’ve rewatched this interview a few times now. For whatever reason, Anthony returns to my mind every now and again. I hope he is still alive, and has found a will to remain alive.
Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty Anthony. I am a heroin addict as well. I have struggled with my heroin addiction for 18 years. I am just over 80 days clean now. I know you say you don’t want to get clean but I heard different. I think that you’re story is going to be different than you think. I think one day you will wake up and realize you want to get clean. I have faith in you. 🙏💖
Anthony you sound so in touch with what is going on around you and I am listening to this for the second time. I see a good portion of you in my 23 year old grandson. While I am sad for your situation I am so grateful for you sharing this incredible journey that few can understand. I sincerely hope that you can find a resolution to allow you to live a life that would give you peace with yourself. You sound so intelligent and precise in your speaking that I believe others around you could learn a great deal from you.
I think Anthony has an old soul quality about him. There’s something very engaging about the way he communicates.
I didn't (and don't) have family that liked me either. My parents were destructive and abusive. Its taken me years to learn to love myself and separate myself from them. There are a lot of good and kind people out there. In time, you will see. Don't let drugs rob you of the gift of life. You're very Special! Hugs to you!
Intelligent and handsome, almost surreal and still extremely authentic. Wow this was an incredible interview to watch ....
That huge sigh at the end when asked about lessons learned was truly heartbreaking.
I think I hope he can get back to his music and stability. I really think a year of treatment, talk therapy and a plan he can do it. He’s just so sweet. Breaks my heart.
I hate seeing someone with so much promise in a situation like this...His hope is gone. Very sad.
Dude should get into acting or something. Has a lot of deep sophisticated emotions to convey on an artistic level
I love him already. I tend to fall in love with those who I feel just need to be loved. I can tell he needs to be loved but also understood. It takes time and dedication to really understand some people and accept that their addicts. You can’t love the addiction out of them but like he said he just needs something to care about. That pure love could just give him something to care about enough to want to live.
Do you want his phone number, I know him
Before hearing these interviews, I don’t think I realized how well spoken and intelligent some of these people are…
You think most folks are dumb?
Yes they are
@@bloomerdavid Yes
Being that self-aware is a good thing but being so aware of the world around us can be a curse and believe me, I get it. I'm nearly 60. I went the other direction. Just kept going out there every day working my ass off thinking I was doing what I was supposed to do. For me, there's zero fulfillment in that or religion for any of the other things that give typical people a sense of belonging and self worth. I hope there's an answer for you out there Anthony and I hope we get to see a positive update.
Ahhh man this has been really hard on my heart to see. I pray Anthony sees his WORTH. I will keep him in my prayers.
This is the most important channel on RUclips. A true showcase of the human condition. Great work as always Mark
This entire interview was so heartbreaking but the end really brought tears to my eyes. The deep breath he took before saying family, signals how much strength it took for him to say it. He deserved love and never got it from his parents. It's such a shame when parents mistreat their own kids, it's horrible. I pray God breaks those chains and surrounds him with love. I pray he heals and understands he is loved and this world needs him✝️🙏❤️
I thought the same thing. I took a deep breath with him, because I could tell he reached within himself to find that answer. Love. I pray God gives him that love as well
I thought it was too theatrical and possibly staged in order to gather sympathy votes🥺
@@unknown-sx8sn Aw you had a thought, good for you❤️
Your films are just so powerful and absorbing from a viewers perspective. I believe that when there is any 'sad emotional display' from your subjects, this is there moment of 'truth' speaking from behind the exterior that they project and their true feeling that moment inside. So hopefully there is, if only small a chance for all of them to rediscover themselves and their loved ones they left behind.
I don't know if reliability would be an issue or not, but this guy (with a co-host) could be an excellent podcast host. Extremely intelligent. Heartbreaking situation. Very self-aware.
i would thank anthony for being so real
i'm so moved by this meeting and his level of consciousness about life
and thank you mark for your work, it accompanies me for months and makes me growing up
love