The Struggle Of Raising Children With Disabilities | Stacey Dooley Sleeps Over
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- Опубликовано: 19 фев 2024
- Stacey will be learning about a different sort of parenting this week as she stays with Dom and Kellie Evans in Wales. They are parents whose lives were upended when their two sons, Lucus and Alexander, were diagnosed with Down's Syndrome and Cerebral Palsy respectively. Stacey will see first hand the joys and also frustrations of raising children with disabilities. She'll also discover how their eldest daughter, Isabella, has become a RUclips sensation with her brother Lucus through their sign language communication.
Stacey Dooley continues to sleep over at unique households across the UK by spending 72 hours in their home. From sleeping in the spare room to sharing family meals and going on outings, she will get involved in every aspect of their lives in a bid to understand them and the community they represent!
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In the last several years I've become very ill and I'm unable to go out and do errands - I had a young man with Down Syndrome deliver my groceries one day. He drove his own car, got everything I asked for, and was very kind. He was able to do things that I wasn't able to do!
i catered a wedding in the early 1980's the bride had Down's syndrome and the groom cerebal palsey.They both had graduated high school,both worked and they had their own flat.I just wanted to share this with y'll.Peace,love❤ b.p
Isabella is amazing! She seems more mature at 14 than me at 30 years old. But what she said at 17:00 made me really sad because to me that's the definition of motherhood - never being able to fully relax if you don't know what they are doing. And girl is it hard. And she's so young... I hope she finds the time to just be a teenager as well.
this is what I came here to say
@@CezaraCerealssame here with me,but after seeing this comment I didn’t even comment
it's called parentification. she is taking on duties that she really should not have to.
I really hope the parents don't expect Isabella to be a parent and not let her be a teenager. She really has a lot on her plate for someone so young.
Poor Alexander is not getting much attention. I feel so sorry for him, Isabella and the little sister. All the attention is on Lucas.
You cannot make that determination simply based on this video. As a sister of a special needs person (Fragile X combined with ADHD; he cannot be classified legally as an adult and will always need a guardian) things change all the time. Special needs people bring so much more joy to the world that people aren't aware of. Siblings take care of each other in the manner of Isabella out of pure love! There's also a dynamic that she simply may be his favorite person. You are making assumptions that you shouldn't be based off of what the producers wanted you to see and over a very short time frame.
The reality with a special needs child that is often the case. Depending on the special need it sometimes must be so because they do not understand what is dangerous to do, they can get hurt so easily. This is reality.
I was also wondering why the documentary focused only on Lucus. His brother has cerebral palsy which is a lot on his plate as well. The way he said "half my brain dont work" was so sad, and it isnt true! I didnt hear a single word from the younger sister.
Of course we dont know what their family life actually looks like but its just odd to focus a documentary on 2 out of 4 children
What a sweet, kind and loving family-every single one of them. 😊
Sometimes when you have a kid with disabilities everyone kind of has to step up and help a bit.... I hope isabella is not having to shoulder too much responsibility but i think her love of her brother and her family has had a wonderful affect on her. Its love that makes her want to care for her brother and i find that beautiful.❤
I'm from a special needs family, i was in a similar position to isabella. It impacts the rest of your life, i chose not to have children due how it was growing up with my 7 year younger autistic brother. The odd paradox of being a 'child/third parent' to my sibling also ended up putting me very out of touch with my own inner feelings, it is really confusing. Everything in the household is about the special needs sibling and avoiding their constant looming fits.
I’m so sorry. That issue isn’t acknowledged enough
I'm so sorry for your loss of attention and sense of self. It totally makes sense for you to feel these feelings. ❤
Governments need to start paying for extra care for DS children & their families instead of dehumanizing them. How sad is this world. These are human beings.
poor Isabella :( has no childhood. Alexander is such a sweet boy
When he was freaking out the mim kept kind if looking to the side at the daughter . I'd hate to think the daughter takes most of the responsibility.....
However , how wonderful the family is engaged with the care
There is a special love between great siblings of a special needs child if it is lucky situation. The daughter loves him so dearly. So dearly and I will not judge that. Perhaps she is his person. That is so clear. Unless you have experienced such a way of life you cannot understand. Nothing is normal. But I know normal families where the children are simply ugly to each other. Isabelle is so smart she will always watch over him but will have her own life.
For a while I was pretty much the only one that could handle my nephew and could calm him down. Being the youngest sibling I'm only 10 years older than him so I guess being a child/teenager myself just brought me closer to his own level at that moment and I felt safer but also more authoritative than his mom/my sister. I can see something like that going on here as well. For me btw it meant a mental breakdown at 17 where I was suddenly unable to function because my mental health had just been destroyed by years of this kind of responsibility. I was his and my oldest nieces main caretaker as soon as school was over for me for two weeks out of the month and with him having AuDHD it was just too much. I was basically a mom for years. Now my nephew is 21 and doing well and I've never wanted my own kids and will never have any. Already done the parenting thing and never want to repeat that experience. Took years off of my life.
I love Stacey sooo much,Stacey if you see this,I love you I love how real you are,you have such a big loving heart…
Me too! I’m such a fan of Stacey!
I rarely comment but am moved by this family (and Stacey did an amazing job, as always). I feel so much love with this family and greatly respect the way they support and love each other.
Isabella you are so wonderful and cool! The world needs more Isabellas like you ❤❤❤
I’m not a professional, but I do have a young adult son with DS. And have had the opportunity to meet many children and adults with DS and get to know their families.
This beautiful boy I think might be also on the autism spectrum. Down Syndrome and Autism is higher incidence than autism alone.
Just a thought.
Thank you so much for shining your light. So insightful and respectful. ❤️
Of curiousity, what makes you think that?
I'm asking because I used to work with kids with special needs as a substitute teacher/assistant. There was a student with DS and one of the assistants thought that they may also have had autism. I never asked why she thought so and that student was my only "reference" to DS, but I'm very familiar with autism. So I didn't know which things were downs, autism or just their personal traits, you know?
Agreed. My daughter has a rare genetic condition called Phelan-McDermid Syndrome and her first diagnosis was actually autism. We know today that many individuals diagnosed with autism actually have an underlying or genetic condition and vice versa.
Also, it is important to understand that children with DS have a spectrum of intellectual and physical abilities. For Example - My 8 year old niece has DS. She is highly verbal, is toilet trained, dresses herself, is an extremely good reader, is able to write simple, basic sentences about her life, family, and emotions. However, anything to do with numbers is very difficult for her. She has difficulty seeing patterns, which is really what Math is all about. Food is a major problem, however, as she will eat and eat until she makes herself sick. "Junk" food is very much a real problem for her as she "may" be addicted. Careful planning, monitoring, and routines around food, diet, and eating must always be employed.
@@kawaiiSwedenI work with kids with autism (we have 9 between our two kindergarten classes) and we recently added a student who is 8 who has Down’s syndrome and has never been in formal school and he’s been such a lovely addition to our class. I don’t really see a lot of similarities. He’s so social my students on the spectrum are varying levels of interested in others.
I think DS as much as other diagnosis can veary alot from csse to case. Kids with diagnosis though can bring alot of joy but you need to put your own needs to the side for a mutch longer time. Kids with diagnosis sometimes need there parents for the rest of their life.
It should ONLY EVER be the mother’s choice. I worked in a group home with adults w physical/mental disabilities. The thought of having to put my child there to live like after I die or I am just unable to care for them is appalling. No human should endure a life like that. I wouldn’t even call it living. That in my option of cruel and worse than terminating the pregnancy. The abuse from staff and other individuals living 5-6 in a small home w MAYBE 2 staff to take care of all of them. Not to mention having to take care of physically, mentally, and financially that child the rest of their lives.
It’s great that those parents are able to devote their entire lives to raising their children. It’s not a path I would choose to go down. And that’s my choice as it should be for every other woman.
I adored this episode! As a mother of a 7 year old son with ASD, this truly touched my heart. ❤
AMAZING DOCUMENTARY. NO MORE WORDS NEEDED.
Loads of love to the famility and Stacey.
This is truly amazing. Working together with disabled people. I too have cp and often find it hard to move around.
I have 2 people in my life with downs and I love to see this showing the special people that they actually are and what they can teach people close to them ❤❤❤
What an amazing family!! Precious. The parents have done an amazing job!! All 4 kids seem so happy and loved. ♥️
Thanks you for this beautiful reporting. ❤ There children are humans in the first place, they then suffure from this syndrome and have their own development potential. ❤
What a beautiful family!
Such a beautiful family in and out! I learned so much from these modern day heroes and wish them all the love, joy and best of health!
No one has any right to be forced to terminate or carry a baby with any kind of abnormality each individual family needs to be able to make the right decision for them and their own family 😢❤❤
These parents are amazing
Great job on this Stacey!
Stacey you have such a kind heart and soul. Thank you for doing what you do. Absolutely amazing family! Fantastic documentary. Thank you from across the pond! 🇨🇦
This family seems so lovely!
Love Stacey so much! ❤😊 beautiful family and Lucus melts my heart.
Nice! New video by Stacey.
Such a insightful episode.
Would like to understand how they financially support themselves?
Or is the system so good in the UK that families like there’s her the financial support they need from the social system? If so, then that’s really amazing, and where social security and taxes should happily go to.
What an awesome loving family
What a lovely family! ❤
What an amazing family. ❤
I'm so impressed by the parents! Pleases let everyone know that there are people in the United States that are desperate for babies & would love them no matter what!
Stacey! Haven't seen her documentaries in a while now
You right it has been a while
I have Turner syndrome. I’m missing my second x Chromosome. I was diagnosed at 3/4. My doctor told my parents they’d “mourn” for 5 years. I was just at the part in the episode where they were discussing “mourning”.
You spelled "mourning" appropriately. That's better than a lot of neurotypical people!! 😊
What does that mean? Me I have autism I’m on the spectrum” I also can’t spell to save my life lol” my two siblings have it,my brother is nonverbal,and my sister i a few levels above nonverbal,sadly she can never live alone,but my partner and I will 100% have her once our mother passes away,I’ll never put her in a home.. Autism runs on both sides of my family sadly.. a total of 15 family members had and have it.. My niece and nephew and my cousin his son,but he’s more on the Asperger’s.. He’s 11 and headed to College.
A fellow butterfly🥹🦋 I also have TS
Isabella has such a beautiful soul.
OOHH the dads eyebrows are fierce.
And why is that important?
What do you have to say on the subject?
@@malanz1000 I wish that mine were that nice.😁
Poor Isabella. Even if now she appears to handle this superbly, it is so incredibly unfair. She needs a full life for a girl her age. Being “mature for ones age” is actually a product of a childs circumstances and there is a cost that reverberates throughout their lives.
Definitely true
Am I wrong in thinking that Indi also seems to have some kind of disability or learning difficulties? Or are her two handicapped brothers (especially Lucas) taking over so much that she’s fading into the background and has become silent?
Isabella needs a break, maybe mam can do more to let her daughter be a child. She is the parent.
I'm sure Isabella is grown up and confident to be able to ask for her space. I'm also sure her family will keep a close eye on her. I see a delightful young lady who is very caring and loving towards her siblings - it's given her a maturity that is astounding and will see her through her life in the direction of her own choice. Try not to be too judgemental and ' clever '.
Agree 😢, poor Isabella. And no, You can't assume that a teenager is comfortable with boundaries setting. That can easily be something they haven't learned yet and some people live a lifetime without mastering that skill. Just assuming that is not intelligent.
My first child was stillborn at full term and even before I started my second pregnancy doctors and others were recommending I have an amniocentesis test which would, as Stacey says in the documentary, have endangered the baby. I always refused, because whatever the result I knew I would have kept the baby. I guess they saw I was determined because they didn't pressure me too much. I gave birth to my wonderful twin boys 14 months after their sister was stillborn. One has some learning difficulties but they are now 18 and I have loved every moment I have been privileged to share with them. Parenting is hard whatever children you have, and whether to become a parent is an entirely personal choice. In my case I have never regretted it for an instant. Bravo to this loving, caring, gentle family.
Brilliant parenting💯👏🏽💞well done!!
I've been watching a Netflix series with autism. I am shocked at how many kids and young adults with Autism there is in the UK (and Australia.) They have SO many services for these kids too. Is there any government office or sources to find the numbers of these kids? I like how Stacy gets low tot he ground to speak to the children.
Stacey Dooley, I am following all your episodes! And I keep thinking that you should do a sleep over with the Brahma Kumaris (they are a retreat place near Oxford), interesting practice! Happy to put you in contact 🙏🏼
When Stacey said about uncle Mike fell in love w Lucas so he has grown to accept him that's usually how someone can grow to understand something.
❤❤❤❤lot's of love to lucks and Alexander all family 😊❤❤❤ and isabella l❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
'Terminate after Birth'?!?!?! OMG... Perhaps instead of infanticide they should offer monthly benefits to the family for respite care, giving the parents a break. I have never heard of this as a Canadian and it is shockingly sad to me. Barbaric!!!!
Worked with individuals with special needs since I was 17 (even during Uni) until I retired at 52. Everyone is different as we all are. I hope in time Lucas gets to go to school with support like all children should be entitled to. Be great for him and his parents. Hats off to the parents raising 4 kids, 2 of which have special needs with such patience. Isabella you are a darling but please try to map out some time for yourself to just be you!
It seems like Lucus might have autism with Down syndrome which makes things more difficult. I feel bad for Isabella because there is little time for her to be a teenager. I imagine she has difficulty getting homework done too. They are good patient parents but ;life is difficult for them.
Why is the daughter the one to take care of her parent’s children.. it is their responsibility, not hers
Lucas is an angel!!! I love him!!!!
The fact that u can terminate at 9 months is disgusting
It is surprising and wrong how England justifies, legalizes and praises parentification🤦♀️
As far as I know, you don’t have to get an amniocentesis to check for disabilities. Now genetic testing is conducted using mother’s blood. We decided to have the testing done due to my “advanced maternal age,” 🙄🙄of 42, and the higher risk of genetic abnormalities. Luckily there nothing physically or genetically wrong with daughter. Although she does have some developmental difficulties that cannot be determined before birth. Saying this doesn’t mean we would have aborted her if we knew. She was ours regardless.
Edited for clarity and length
I would have a tough time with the screaming 😢 we have 5 children and I didn’t have a tough time with all the kids being home still unless they were whining and screaming 😢 then this momma would have to send a few of them outside to scream and burn off some pent up frustration and en😮
3:08 i’m 100% sure he said she’s a loser don’t try to switch up his words he said what he said fr ‼️🙏
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My son has ADHD, born with a extra chromosome aldo his physio. I'ts been s hard road raising him by myself. His 29 now I am 70 it's ok when his on his meds but when he off of them his horrible. Can't leave him alone never know what his going to break next. I don't date once I tell them my son is handicapped they run. This family has help.but I didn't sometimes you wish you would of had an abortion but it is what it is your a full time caregiver for life.
You are right, people will not understand you if they didn't go through it. It is not easy road to go through, and in your case it never ends. Hugs.
The fact that she was there will they were changing the little boy is just weird bro like give them privacy then you could ask your questions that you have for them .
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With our two youngest children I did have an amnio due to my age we had decided that we would not abort but we wanted to be prepared if something was wrong 😢😮
I am non typical person and had this video very interesting
We are ALL non typical!!! :)
@@Amy-466 okay 👌🏾
It makes me so incredibly sad hearing about how many children are killed because they have a disability. My son is Autistic. He was diagnosed as severely autistic nonverbal. Does that mean that he is just useless as a human? No absolutely not! These children have struggles in life but they are so capable of doing so much more! I always tell people you just have to give them the chance to succeed. ❤
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“ probably “ does more than she should for her age.. gmab.. stop relying on on your daughter to raise your kid
Isabella is being parentified. It's not right to do it to her😢
They are family, she cares for her siblings, it was her choice yo hrlp as she can. That is what familues do, care for each other, seek for the wellbeing of each member of the family. May God Almighty strengthen each of them to do their best for each other, and may He fill them with joy and peace.
@@GladysRWhiteBring a parentified child to this extreme is difficult
@@kjsaaaaaaaa life is not easy, and their situation is hard. She is developing abilities that she can train others in need. Tha basic and most important thing is that they are united and love each other. Love makes sacrifices... May God strengthen and bless her abundantly!
Life isn’t fair, is it? When one family member needs extra help, it’s up to the whole family to lift them up. She is an extraordinary young woman who has risen to the occasion with extraordinary circumstances.
Henry’s mom brought this up that if you find out that your child has down syndrome while you’re pregnant that if you turn them down and decide not to terminate, they continue to ask you and pressure you basically until you either cave or you have that baby and that is 100% wrong that is torture to an already hormonal pregnant woman I would understand letting them know, but after that if they choose to keep the baby that is their decision so instead of trying to convince them to terminate, how about having a program that helps teach them good ways to help their child once they’re born, so they can live the best life possible it’s not that hard to set up a program like that
EXACTLY. Support for child and respite for the parents.
It’s is a special gift from God. He knew you both would be amazing parents. God bless you.
Don’t teenager’s need to go thru a selfish and melodramatic stage?
the irony is since the UK is in the Western Culture, when they are adults they will never have a paid job and if they are anything like how Canada treats those of us with disabilities, they will be living well below the UK poverty line. Hope the parents can financially support them later on.
I think Canada treats those with disabilities quite well personally, of course always room for improvement. Worked in the field for decades and have 30 year old son with schizophrenia. He receives a disability cheque from the government (granted not a lot) but lives in subsidized housing, all medical and dental paid, weekly visits with support person (social worker), clothing allowance, and once a month visits a psychiatrist. He has a part time job he enjoys. We live in BC...
How can they afford that house and not work?
So stacey dooley after meeting this family and meeting their wonderful kids with disabilities STILL doesn't know what she would do if she was ever put in their situation says alot. im shocked that people would give her praise for this documentary, because in the end she still said that she wouldn't know what to do if she was faced with the prospect of having a child with down syndrome. did she not learn anything from meeting this family????. This family told her about how much joy their son brought them irrespective of his disability but stacey still was in doubt by the end. shocking!!!!!!!.
Stacey, I love your documentaries. I have been a fan for years. Please research medical information or ask a medical professional to present medical information so that it is disseminated correctly. You have conflated amniocentesis and CVS testing here. Also, NIPT (the blood test you referred to) is considered a screen and nobody should take action to terminate a pregnancy based on a screen (as opposed to a diagnostic test like amniocentesis or CVS). I respect Lucas' mom for acknowledging that whether or not to terminate a pregnancy in light of a diagnosis of Down syndrome is a personal choice. Most of your documentaries are presented without bias....but I can't say so for this one.
Does this mother do anything???
It’s the genetic thing, nothing you can do to prevented it. Going to the other way will be eugenetic.
Hearing the parents and Stacy talk about the children as if they aren't in the room is disappointing. And why would you talk to an 8yr child while they were changing clothes? Much less film them? It's harmful to normalize these violations when done to people with disabilities, especially those who can't advocate for themselves. Always assume competence!
Infantcide ? Termination up to and after the time of delivery ? Evil ! Inhumane ! Horrid !
Pure evil, murder! Sickening that it could be offered........
I can not believe that termination is allowed right up to 9 months and our looking to make it legal after birth. How can this be? Absolutly shocking!! ❤
Unacceptable! As far as I’m concerned the word CONCEPTION MEANS LIFE. Look it up and stop making it more palatable when one says “ fetus “ Yes, makes it sound like it’s not a life. I haven’t heard anyone who decides to have an Abort@@n call it a BABY! Yes, more palatable
I'm very pro choice but this also shocked me. Late abortions alone are a hard thing to imagine but for example if the child has a condition that's not compatible with life, it would be cruel to make the mother carry the baby to term and then watch it die after birth or a few days later. But aborting a fetus with Down syndrome let alone talk of infanticide, that's literally putting a human down for having a low IQ. We need to do better than that and provide more assistance for special needs parents.
@@user-sy6fj2bm1z Numbers 5:11-28 🎤
It's a woman's choice. Mind your business.
@@handleofunNo es la decisión de la mujer cuando el bebé ya tiene 9 meses, ni cuando ya nació. Entonces si alguien me molesta, puedo pedir que muera solo por esa razón?
The fact that termination is allowed all the way up to nine months is just utterly repulsive. That is murdering a defenceless little baby just because they don’t fit the norm. 💔
So wrong and sad😢
It's a woman's choice. Mind your business.
@@handleofun you’re gross.
@@handleofunyour mom made the wrong choice.
Would you have an abortion if your baby had no brain or would be still born.
when they had the first sick kid..close off the womb..so not fair young daughter is looking after him..its a disgrace..poor girl..peter andre dad will be with others...YOU HAVE NO MORE KIDS WHEN YOU HAVE A MENTALLY CHALLENGED KID..INVEST WITH HIM AS PARENTS ANDBLET DAUGHTER HAVE A LIFE
First of all that's not up to you to decide if they should or shouldn't have more babies. Every parent makes their own decision based on their personal abilities. All the children look happy and well taken care of. So you have no business making that comment.
Second of all even if your right and once theirs one mentally challenged child they shouldn't have another (which again totally depends on the specific case), they mentioned their older son only got diagnosed two weeks after the younger one was born
How dare you try to tell anyone how many children to have nazi
The Dad looks exhausted. When the Dad was ironing...you wonder if he has most of the household responsibility, more than even his wife
Instead of calling it a disability maybe call it a challenge. ❤
Nope. I’m disabled and generally us disabled folks like being called disabled. My disability isn’t a challenge. It’s a disability. A challenge is something that can be overcome. I will always be disabled.